I almost forgotten the power of google search engine..
Someone has been stalking me recently without me knowing..
But whoever the idiot is..
all i wanna say is stop being so childish..
i can dun stay here..
i have other places to go..
n anyway my aunt n i will be putting on e cctv very soon.
hopefully i can faster catch who e bugger is n get him into jail..
人在做,天在看。
i believe god has eyes.. So im just praying tt idiot will be caught soon!

Updates regarding my case trial

I know I'm a little late on updating my blog, due to some busy schedule and etc.
Hmm.. but at least.. here I am again =)

Before I update my case.. my life is so far so good..
Im now handling schools ard Bedok Reservoir area..
The schools here are good.. OM are negotiable =)

Kk come back to the actual topic and purpose im here..
n yeah.. im home alone now..

My case trial will start on 12th Sept 2011 at 10.30am at court no 12.
And yes, I have not pleaded guilty.
I didn't P.G. becos I find it too ridiculous if I did..
I can't go thru myself in the first place..
even though my Lawyer keep pursuading me to.. n the percentage of getting me a probation is high..
But if I really did plead guilty on 2nd Sept that day itself,
I will be letting down every single one who is related to me, including myself.
Why should I keep giving in myself and let that basturd (sad to say, he's my dad)feels that even justice can't do anything to him?
Why m I always thinking of others before myself?
I keep questioning myself and I had been having nightmares abt that basturd, abusing me n my family..

Been thinking hard enough for the past few weeks, and finally I took this courage to stand up and face it myself..
My current lawyer is pretty useless though..
I know my case is tough.. but in the first place.. if I wanna plead guilty then what for I engage him for?? M I right? I had been paying and paying.. A total of $6k so far and he is still asking for more..

Im going insane soon but luckily I have my family and friends that is always there for me, physically n emotionally.. If not I believe I had long gone insane.

I think if I really nt able to look for a good n negotiable lawyer, I might just stand up for myself this time round. I do hope my family n friends will still be there no matter what the outcome is..

Anyway I do hope some ppl will come to hear my case trial but I know everyone is busy.. But no matter what I will face the music n appear in court.

Back to square one

It's been really long time since my last post here..
I had even forgotten my logged in password actually..
well guess its partly becos life has been super hectic for me..
TOO much of ups and downs till the extend i really feel like giving up!!
But im not gonna surrender my life so easily anymore..
TIME TO WAKE UP BOY!!
No time to waste anymore.. I've wind AND cried enough!
And I do really mean it for real this time!

I'm thankful to god for giving me patience and help thru out this whole process..
giving me great friends to be there for me whenever i need..

I dun wanna let anyone down..
I dun dare to take any chance to let down any of my friends too..
But if I do.. I'm sorry friends and thanks for being there for me all these while..
My case is still on pending..
My last hearing before the trial will be on 2nd Sept 2011 @11am.

According to my lawyer, it is not going to be a easy one..
The judge does not want to let go on my charge..
now the best he can try to fight for me will be to have probation instead of a jail sentence.
But the chance is very low.. they will be taking from the schools i went in..
the working place im in now and then, judge my personal character and conduct thru there.. and of course thru my family.

Well thats all for now, will update again, maybe ard 2nd Sept.

I'm feeling damn guilty after receiving the email from my dear counsellor Yilan.
I guess I dun haf to think, its for sure to be my mum is the one who went to complain to her tt i brought aun aun n her sis home e other day.
Haiz.. She emailed me this: "What is happening to you and the 2 thai girls? Are u straying from your cross junction?"
After seeing this email, immediately I replied her on sms n email tt I wanna meet her to explain on all this..

She: "Let me check den tell again. Remb u r not answerable to me but to ur own future"
Me: "Yup I noe.. I still under control" - I regret sending this though.. I think she muz haf mis-read e meaning *s^&%*

After an hr ltr.. I replied again.. "But I noe u mean gd for me.. I'll reflect on it.. U let me noe tmr whether can meet for session on thurs? Thanks"

No reply at all.. neither on email nor sms..

I'm doomed.. cos no matter wat I were to say I guess she will think tt I'm juz trying to use excuses to cover for myself again.. sigh.. wat is happening to me?? Seriously regretting bringing aun aun home tt day.. =(
Did I really strayed?? I really dunno.. Do I love e way I am in now?? I dunno too..
Or maybe I'm juz trying to run away from reality again.. Haiz..

Recently keep going up n down of thai disco..
from V4(Macpherson) to rachatda(orchard) to resort(ecp) to golden mile..
though finally i found a girl who "seems" to appreciate mi..
but i still trying to control myself as i doubt she is for real for some reason..

she is very different frm other girls there..
she is nt pretty at all..
anyway her name is aun aun.
y do i say tt she is different becos she nv allow ppl to kiss onto her lips most of e time..
atmost is once.. she dun let others to come near me n tell e rest tt im her darling??
i knew her on my bday itself at rachatda.
e first time i see her i dun feel anything juz find tis girl is dao..
e way she entertained me oso very different frm e rest as she does nt initiate to kiss or hug..
she oni tell mi she has been observing mi since e day i went in to rachatda wif tis n tt..
their so called "butterflies"..
i dunno y in e first place i kept gg too..
its not tt i got money.
in fact im broke liao.

yday she call me n tell me she sick..
i go to her hostel to fetch her go golden mile buy medicine n food..
den bring her n her "sister" to my hse at serangoon cos no choice i cant prolly bring em back at bedok res..
i'll be killed by my aunt n grandma..
they cooked n eat.. den i sent em back again..
she went to work at rachatda n i went resort w jack at freaking 2am..
i smsed her n right aft her work she come dwn to find mi..
but i juz dun understand thai language..
jack communicated wif her in thai n dunno for wat reason she angry again -.-
she keep pushing mi away till i teared..

this morning jack sms me when she reach hm..
n this is wat she smsed mi --> "Hey bro do you know juz now i told off ur gal in a way that u love her but why she treat u like a nobody thats why she angry but she know u will heart pain"

omg! wat is happening to mi man..
nv did i noe i'll fall for her..
my heart seems like its bleeding for no reason
is love or juz another illusion???
i dunno myself either..

and she is the girl im talking about.. haiz..

I'm so happy today becos..
Firstly my pay is finally here!!
Secondly, I have started my part time at EMSU (Essential Maintenance Service Unit).
hehe.. which means I can occupy myself wif something n nt spending my money..
Though for e start like now I can only do weekdays as they wun haf e time to train mi on weekends..
But its fine wif mi cos I can still chiong as usual..
haha more income is essential n important to mi now cos of my debts...
Thanks to my irresponsible father..
If not I doubt I'll force myself to work so hard to earn money..
N thanks for my past..
Anyway like I mentioned on my fb e other day..
Nothing last forever..
Hence I'm gonna make full use of myself to earn money instead of spending like water..
Time to plan for e future :)

I had a random call frm my ex gf lydia tis afternoon again..
N met her at simei starbucks for a coffee..
Afterwhich, we headed to cash studio at bedok..
After k-ing, we went to bedok 85 for supper..
She wanted mi to pei her go tian ling (her "bff") hse to play mj...
But I rejected her..
I can see e disappointment in her eyes but I juz stopped myself..
Cos I noe e closer I go..
E more feelings I'll have for her..
I juz dun wan history to repeat..
Furthermore she has a bf now..
I wan to stop e feeling I have for her..
However it seems hard..
I can sense tt she still have some feelings for mi..
Juz tt she can't accept e fact to turn les..
Haiz.. Maybe I should stop seeing her in order for mi to forget her..