photos! :)

sigh, this marks the end of a weekend i really looked forward to. minqi was here in london, n we spent e day touring n shopping abit..tiring, but nice n fun. :) really enjoyed myself. plus when a 'spore fren' comes, it almost feels like a part of spore is being brought over to London. she's going back tmr..sighs..i oso wanttt. :( photos up soon, too tired to upload today. heh.

and she brought me lotsa stuff from jianen n oso zhiyang's mum. so touched..hehe..lotsa lotsa new year goodies, earrings made by enlin n bought by jianen, a card, and korean drama dvd. hehe...feels so loved. :)

to you you you :) you're e best.

we just had a big steamboat dinner at home, pseudo reunion dinner. hehe.. wish i was at home now now now!! then can go to my grandma's place for a sumptuous breakfast tmr. sighs. gonna be missing this for TWO more years. this time it was great to haf a webcam session wif my family after their reunion dinner at grandma's place..was fun. :) nai nai was so cute. hehe.

on another slightly random note, i suddenly miss choir alot. i really really really miss it..miss that music in my life...the harmony of voices..the working together to produce the kind of music tt really comes from ur heart..ahhhh. and music that jus connects everyone in the room singing it together...just in that beautiful moment...something tt other ppl may not be able to picture and imagine..before choir, i never knew tt a song can be interpreted in tt many ways n can give such different effects when u just change e way u sing, or ur focus, or ur attitude that day.

the times where we slogged to produce that perfect sound..the times where we even had to close eyes and hold hands and sing Amor to produce the effect..and when we had the 'spider web' thingy at the end of the year and we sang Amor again and started crying when we had to cut the strings..and all the cheena songs..i really really liked e one which mingwei solo-ed n i suddenly cannot remb e name of the song. :( suddenly started thinking of all the songs we used to sing...dunno where i can download any recordings..i wonder where all that space in my memory to memorise all e songs n the lyrics came from. haha. i miss choir in jc alot alot alot. boo. and i wont be able to watch any of their performances cos i'm 6000 miles away.sigh.

i sometimes wish i could just sit down and think more. like seriously, think. too happy-go-lucky is just nt good sometimes.
be quick to listen, and slow to speak. too selfish sometimes.
but, all is well. thank God for lessons learnt. and for him who is ever patient n loving n accepting. praying for more wisdom.

today, i went for a full-day girls-only seminar called 'The Cross in a Girl's World' by UCCF. did have an initial major struggle before going for the event, because firstly i didnt noe anybody else going, and secondly i subconciously wanted to 'run' from wat God was really calling me to and what he wanted me to hear. In the end, though, was really glad i decided to go, and even made frens there as well. even sending that email to say that i was going was a big enough struggle for me, because if u know me, i rarely do something 'alone' and not knowing if i'm gonna know anyone there. but this time, i decided tt i needed to do it, to break through.

it was a series of talks and seminars mainly on the topics of a pure life and hope as a christian girl. would summarise my three biggest lessons of the day in the following words..things which i used to think i 'knew' very well, things i thot i didnt need reminding about, things i thot were obvious..but until i realised it really applied to me, and it wasnt that simple anymore.

1. What Christ did on the cross for us, we would never have been able to do for ourselves. no matter how hard we try, how diligently we set rules for ourselves, we sin. no matter how hard we try using our own efforts to reconcile ourselves with God, we will never be able to do it. but yet, all this is changed because Christ died on the cross for us, people who were totally undeserving. All this would not be possible if not for the cross. We need the cross, and we need Jesus.

2. His grace is perfect, total and complete. Because of Christ dying for us on the cross, we are now perfect and blameless. It was not such that some sins were forgiven, and others werent. All were forgiven. the great exchange has made us perfect in God's eyes, and this is all that really matters. No matter what kind of sinners we were in the past, His grace has already accepted us. This is wat should motivate us to live Christ-centered lives, and not the selfish desire to be seen as 'perfect or holy Christians'

3. I long for eternal life with God in a new heaven and a new earth. so often, our myopia allows us only to view 'here and now' as what would last forever. In order to satisfy ourselves now, we fall into sin which jeopardises this long-term relationship with God. I heard this line today: 'If God were to destroy everything evil and imperfect and 12 midnight today, where would we be at 12.01?' Whether we like it or not, we deserve hell and eternal death. Yet, heaven has already included us, and we have eternal hope. Our daily choices determine our eternal destiny, and we must persevere on in this life in purity. focus on the long-term, not the short term.

so many big lessons, many things to think about. all the scriptures we came across today were really at the heart of tackling the problems we face with sin, and one of the verses that struck me the most was Isaiah 53:5...

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

i almost shudder at that thought, that we are completely pure and perfect and right with God just by accepting this saving grace.