i'm so happy. not haha-happy, or only yay-happy..but really happy and touched in my heart :p received a parcel today! ok actually yesterday, but i could only collect it from the lodge today. scrambled to see who it was from and rushed back to my room to open it as fast as i could :p

altho i guessed it that day you asked me, i didnt wanna expect anything or hope for anything so on the day i get a surprise, i'll be really surprised and happy. and i really was. :) truly surprised, esp after finding the contents in the box.

in the box, neatly packed were many items..many things that may not seem like much to others, but they do to me, because of the meaning they hold and the purpose behind giving them to me. i got 5 boxes of new yr goodies, one of them being a box of self packed love letters broken in half to fit into a smaller box..liangteh (which i hate :p) and fisherman's friend because i'll (supposedly) be so heaty eating all the cny goodies..chopsticks, penknife, cotton buds, microwavable lunch box, Mayday Cds, Sun Yanzi cd, table alarm clock and batteries, and a whole envelope of A4 sized photos self-printed at home.

my favourite items are the lunch box and the alarm clock and the photos :) lunch box and alarm clock because these are things which i didnt ask for or expect from you at all, but actually needed. :) when i took e clock out of it's box, it was already ticking, and to my amazement, was already set to London time. :) wif my new lunch box, i'll be able to heat my lunch up and actually haf hot food for lunch :) and of course, our photos :) i cant say enuf.

thank you dear :) really really really very gan dong. i thank God so much for you, this sweet and special pig in my life :) less than 5 more months :)

just made 3 phone calls to spore to wish ppl happy cny and to chat..cannot describe how nice it feels..i miss everyone so much..and of course, delicious ni gor (nian gao) cooked by nai nai..the breakfast we have for the first day of cny every single year for as long as i can remember..i miss it i miss it!! dou beh jiang..jiu zui ji..mouth watering... haha..only my family would understand those dishes i guess. heh. and so nice to hear qian and hui on e phone too..altho u dunno wat to say, it's still great to hear ur voices :)

it's just so so different to be spending cny here..no atmosphere at all..but somehow, even tho there's obviously no general feeling of cny-ness in London, among the sporeans, all of us are especially excited about it.. going around wishing everyone happy new year, preparing food for big steamboat dinners, and a fren even put up the word 'ji' on his window! :) hehe. it's like..altho we dun feel very in the mood, cny's jus a big get together time which is even more greatly cherished because all of us are here far away from our family members at home.

had a happening past week..heh..lots and lotsa food!!!
wed nite the singsoc organised a dinner at a chinese restaurant in chinatown..food was good! and was only 10 pounds for 8 courses! had yusheng too..damn fun..hehe..i was never a fan of yusheng, but it was so fun 'lao-ing' it with all ur frens hehe and laughing and making lots of noise like nobody's business. went for gelato ice cream after that!

thurs nite went ice skating with my cell..charlene came too! we had loadss of fun!! rusty at first, but after a while we got the hang of it. unfortunately i fell hard on my butt once heh and it's still kinda hurting now. heh. but it was fun :) and i'm v happy that charlene enjoyed it too! :) then she came back with me and stayed over in my room. oh we watched 'how to lose a guy in 10 days too!' love sleepovers. hee.

then fri, we went to school tog, and after a looong day at school wif proj meeting, study group, 3-hr lab and rojak pub meeting, charlene came back with me again for yet another sleepover nite! :) we baked brownies (which didnt really turn out like we expected, but was still nice!) and cooked tao suan with rosanna..and had lotsa fun laughing and pigging out. ok. we really really really ate so so much..and this was at like 11 plus at nite. haha. after that we came to my room to watch 'ocean's 12', but we were sooo sleepy cos there was so much talking in e show, and with all the lights off, we kept dozing off..haaha..so we didnt finish the show.

i jus came back not long ago from steamboat and potluck dinner at evelyn gardens..ate and drank so much soup..haha..so so full..but food was good!! 3 of us contributed tao suan..which turned out v nice too! :) yay. we den went to play mahjong till 12 plus before taking e bus all e way back home..then i made e 3 happy phone calls home! :)

tmr it's church then lunch then steamboat dinner again!! i'm a pig. excuse is that it's cny and it's not my fault i'm eating too much. hahaha. oh and btw, my delicious precious pineapple tarts specially brought for me from far far away spore now stands at 6 left in the box. i managed to keep them till the actual first day of cny! :) yay. rationing everyday. hee. yay. so happy with every tart i eat. hee.

i have a parcel waiting for me in lodge!! i wanna go collect and open it!! i dunno who it's from..i dunno wat's inside..i cant wait i cant wait..yay! tmr! :)

i said a little prayer for u today, that you'll be safe and happy in God's hands. i prayed and thanked God for the good years you had, and how proud i was of you, i still am. tears jus formed when i saw ur picture on the article, when it reminded me of the times. i wish i could have hugged u more. i love u very, very much.
bye bye, ah tai.

i'm bored...decided to post random photos..heh..(captions below the picture) outside my window

gloucester road tube station (designs are a temporary exhibit)
on e way to school- kensington gardens
armour for the day
my bed..
a very messy study table :p

haha after doing that post, random thots about myself jus sprang up in my mind. haha. shall post it for fun! hehe. it's actually quite fun.
1. i really dun like bathing. or at least, the idea of having to bathe. hahaha :p it's beta now tho, when i was still in spore, i really needed someone to naggg at me before i really went to bathe. haha. i remb (i think it was) fio doesnt like bathing too! hahaha when we went to ly's place we were fighting to be last. haha
2. cooking is therapeutic. such satisfaction when u cook a nice fulfiling dinner and eat happily. heh.
3. i absolutely love cheese cakes. they rule over all/any other kinds of cakes.
4. the part about bathing, i like it tho when i'm standing under the hot shower. only when i'm -already- in the shower. haha i can jus stand there for like forever haha
5. sorry jan, but i -hate- cats. haha..i dunno why..i think it's jus one of those coffee-shop cats trauma..haha..
6. and yes jan, i love babies. haha. when they smile, they jus make u feel so happy inside. often when i see a really cute and adorable baby, the first person i tell is my dad (when the family's out tog) i dunno why. ha
7. i like doing grocery shopping. hehe. it's really fun! except the carrying-ur-groceries-home part.
8. i can jus sit at e piano playing song after song any song that comes to my mind, esp e worship songs i used to sing in church in spore..love them..
9. i can be/kinda like to be antisocial. haha. i'm the type of person who would rather be approached than to approach.
10. chilli is a MUST HAVE in my life.
11. i always wanted a bf who can sing/play e guitar/drums/musically talented. hehe :p
12. i am now the shortest kid in the family. sighhs.
13. i love e beach. explains my trips to tioman and phuket before i came to London
14. i absolutely love looking at bald trees against the clear blue sky. i appreciate kensington gardens so much when i walk thru it..really beautiful..how amazing God has created nature..
15. i can eat grapes endlessly. heh.

okok..too much hahaha hmm i shall blog about e dinner! it was so nice to meet up with old mg frens..nat chaiyee and diane..and huifang too who's now familiar with our mg talk haha..so nice to talk about sec school days, and update each other on who's where and doing what now..even e ppl not fr our class...it's like such a happy thing to dig up old stories from a long time ago..remembering our old cliques and seating arrangements..something so special and difficult to explain..i dunno..but i jus feel (we all feel) that it's jus such a special school to be in..even in different parts of the world, we are meeting up..like us here in london, and the ppl in australia too..everyone's everywhere now, but the saying still remains.. u can take a girl out of mg, but u can never take mg out of her. :)

darn. charlene jus had to do this to me. ha. even tho i pretended not to see her blog post for many many days. hahaha..anw. it's some pass it on thingy..

Here are the rules:

Rule 1: List 5 weird or random things about myself.

1. when i'm bored, i play minesweeper, and i can go on playing game after game after game and end up playing so much i forget to do any work..ha..it's gotten to the point when i jus unknowingly open the game (even when i'm webcamming with ppl back home :p ) and start playing and then realise slightly later that i was at it again. haha

2. chocolates give me a headache, and i dun really like them. ok to my frens who always give me that horrified face when i say i dun like chocolates, i'm improving! haha. which means it's good or bad. haha. beginning to eat more chocolates now..ha..but still dun like plain chocs, like chocs by themselves..i can eat them wif caramel (like mars), wif wafer ( like kitkat), wif mint ( like after 8). haha.

3. i haf something about drinks on the table before me. ha. for example, chinese tea. i will jus go on drinking and drinking cups of it and end up feeling sooooo full. haha. feeling the effects of it now after dinner wif huifang nat chaiyee and diane.

4. i like to plan my days out, and divide the work i haf to do into days, and keep a checklist of them so i can check each off after completing it. i like to be in control of what i'm doing haha and to know wat i gotta finish by today.

5. i dunno why i suddenly thot of this, but i love photos. haha. i really absolutely love them, because they bring back such great memories..i can jus spend so much time looking at the photos over and over again in every folder on my com, photos in online albums, my friend's photos, the photos i haf on my notice board..everything. such happy faces. :) such happy times. :) photos speak a thousand words.

Rule 2: List 5 ppl whom u want to do the quiz.

hahaha time to be mean. haha hmm. i think some ppl did this thing on their blogs already. like fish u did it rite? wanted to tag u. heh. oh wells. yiwen, qian, christina, jan, agnes.

Rule 3: Next, leave a comment "you are tagged" on their blog and ask them to read your blog for rules.

conv between a chemist and an engineer..

diane [not quite done] says:
gotta get round to preparing my presentation for tomorrow
diane [not quite done] says:
seeya!
[c.s.a] xiaoen says:
jiayou!
[c.s.a] xiaoen says:
haha cool i haf a presentation tmr too :s
[c.s.a] xiaoen says:
cya!
diane [not quite done] says:
haha, i think yours is worse mine is only 10 minutes including questions
[c.s.a] xiaoen says:
oh..mine's 5. :p
diane [not quite done] says:
oh darn
[c.s.a] xiaoen says:
lol
diane [not quite done] says:
no fair! and you say we don't do work
[c.s.a] xiaoen says:
eh! wanna complain?
[c.s.a] xiaoen says:
hahaha
diane [not quite done] says:
ok, ok, you win!

hmm..the longest day of the week has passed, and soon this week will zoom past again when it hits weds, tmr! :) yay..1 more week down then. hehe. ok. abit fast to think lidat since technically wed is not even over yet. haha..but oh wells. nothing wrong being optimistic! :) hee. hmm..feeling a little happier these days..i dunno why..getting over the same initial bit of homesickness i had after the christmas break i guess..life's back to normal again..seeing everyone back from spore, going to school, trying to stay awake and understand as much as possible during lectures, eating sandwiches for lunch, trying to finish as much lab as possible within the lab period, reading ppl's blogs while stoning after dinner in my room, doing laundry, the 3 of us cooking our nice happy dinners and chatting after eating, gg for linstead dinners, the 3 of us meeting at 8.20 am (imagine waking up at 7.30 am and it's still so dark) to go for 9 am lessons, cell group and hub, whining/complaining abt work and not understanding/being excited abt easter break/talking crap/laughing/missing home together with charlene, gg to church wif u all and having nice lunches on sundays, webcamming with parents every few days, and talking to u on e phone:).. ok this is so not in chronological order haha but well the point is life is back to normal. haha. oh yes. and how can i forget dear design proj coming back to haunt me again. haha. but i haf e feeling this term's phase 2 will be better than phase 1. yay. must be optimistic. i can do it. 5 mths 5 mths 5 mths more! :) haha. almost there.

All through the storm
Your Love is the anchor
My hope is in You alone.
-- Faithful one

feels so good to haf a nice long conversation before gg to sleep. :)

haha the countdown ticker thingy is so cute! unfortunately it's only for lik anniversary, wedding days etc and i dunno e exact day i'm returning to spore yet so cant countdown towards that day. heh..it's so cute hehe

Yesterday, today and forever
You are the same, You never change
Yesterday, today and forever
You are faithful, and we will trust in You.

Amen.

the term has started, yet again. as i walked to school today through kensington gardens, i said a long prayer of many many little things. i realise i have so much to be thankful for. too much. and yet, here i am complaining and dreading the upcoming term. how little and insignificant the trees, leaves, branches, flowers may be, yet God is mindful of all these. furthermore, we are the children of God, and what an honour and blessing that is to me. God will never leave nor forsake us, and no matter what can happen, no matter how stressful school may get, no matter how much i miss home, God is still God. the God who is in control. and i am thankful.

was talking wif a fren yest, and started thinking bout life when i was walking thru e park. what do i really want in my life? i dont think i dare to say what i really dream of doing in my life, because such a dream seems so far away and unachievable. i feel so small and unworthy..yet God has led me this far in my serving and in his showering of gifts and blessings..i dunno..i dream and hope, that one day it will indeed come true. all for God's glory. God has his plans..and maybe one day, i will really find this group of people to serve Him together with?

notes to self as i approach this new term: really do ur best and fully trust that God will do the rest. manage time between work and play. love God more and share God's love with the ppl around me by loving them. make full use of the time and resources i have, and not regret it later. live a life of good testimony. look forward to going home, but not be clouded by these thoughts all the time. commit myself to Him, let God take full control, from the little things to the big things. spend more time thinking and contemplating about impt things. look back at the end of this term, and see if i've achieved anything.

how i jus love taking long walks thru parks.

the irony..
i look forward to the isolation and privacy in my room
yet
i hate the emptiness of it.

agnes came to London! :) yay. 1st day i went out of wilson house since 1st jan. heh. :p yep. fresh air is good. and of course, company was even better :) walked along regent street and i bought boots from clarks at half price! the knee high type. can keep warm! yay :) and also a top from mng. nice to walk around tog and talk like old times, physical presence is so impt :) had thai food tog wif two of them after that...my dearly missed pad thai..heh..was not bad..and then i headed home while they went for chicago. yay. on the bus back, i passed by trafalgar sq, picadilly, oxford street..the places we went to together when you were still here. memories flooded back and i wished we were back in those few weeks. but i suddenly thot of this verse, that there is a time for everything. i've enjoyed my holidays, and now it's time to work hard. there'll soon come the day when i step onto that plane, and then into that airport, and then home. God will lead my thru every step of the way, and in His time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What does the worker gain from his toil?
10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

ok..i noe today is not the last day of 2005 neither is it the first of 2006, but it's never too late to do some reflection on 2005..and to give thanx to God once again for leading me through it..i shall be referring to 2005 as 'this yr' cos it's easier. heh.

although this yr seems to be especially fast for me, i realise that it's been a year in which many things in my life changed. big changes..changes i wouldnt haf expected to see a few months before it happened. but it did. good changes, bad changes, it all depends on perspective.

For one, there were no more wearing-uniform-to-school-days..they were over..and i got my first job as a temp clerk in uob..got a little taste of working life..

then a-level results were released, which changed many things..applying for uni and scholarships..the experience of stressing out over interviews, how long mail takes to arrive in the US and the UK, application essays, teacher recommendations..etc..all these things when now u look back and think..whoa. i'm REALLY here. from the reading up on websites, receiving letters/pamphlets/guidebooks on the school, to really being here. another big change in my life..that is, to be far away from home, in London, sitting in my hall room alone, and typing this on my laptop. something i wouldnt even haf thot of back in jc. new frens, new weather, new church, new surroundings..

and then came march 22nd :) i wont call it someone impt came into my life since he's always been part of my church-life. haha. but oh wells.as rou ma as this sounds, on this special day, 2 ppl realised the importance and significance of each other in their lives, and chose to walk thru the rest of their lives together hand in hand. :)

another change is that i passed my driving test and can drive! haha. i still remember the period of time when i was super stressed out over the test, esp with the difficulty of long waiting periods for re-test dates which i cannot afford to have because i was leaving for london..but, everything in His time..i managed to pass..

someone impt to me also departed from my life this year..something i've learnt to see the good in, and be thankful for, tho i will still miss her dearly..

now, i guess im' able to live -a little more- independently, having to cook, do laundry, buy groceries, pack up my room since there's no one else to do it for me..i guess it's quite fun to a certain extent, to be able to decide and plan ur day out as u wish..be it study, buy groceries, do laundry, or go out shopping. it's also being away from home that you cherish all this more..my family, my frens, my church, and my bf. the joy of seeing my bro or sis online, the thankfulness of having parents who sleep late/wake up early and come online jus to see if you're free to webcam for awhile, the satisfaction of going to sleep after talking to you on ur way to work, the happiness of reading church fren's blogs about the goings-on in church and seeing them being involved in yf and church..all this..only can be experienced in such a situation. i think.

this is also the year where i think i lost the most tears..ha..apart from the baby/toddler years..think i cry so much more easily when i'm here..tears jus flow out of nowhere..ha..homesickness i guess, it'll never go away..but i'm thankful for the encouragment and support i get, and the reminder from you to always go back to God, to truly let go and let God. to know that i'm not alone, but He's always with me..thank God for this pig too. :)

hmm..this is also the first year where i had to celebrate my bday 1mth early..more to come? maybe. haha. as usual my family doesnt really celebrate birthdays..ha..we just go out for dinner. (wait did we even go out for dinner for my birthday? haha) anw. this celebration was btw e two of us, and was made very special..smth i wont forget :) thank you for making me feel special :)

this is the first year i couldnt join alpha camp..after the camp, i jus spent the nites reading ppl's blog posts about the camp, happy that the young ones learnt alot at the camp and everyone enjoyed themselves at camp..wished dearly that i was there too..hmm maybe if the camp is late enuf next yr i may go back for christmas and haf e chance to go for camp..

so that was 2005 in brief..it zoomed past, but many things happened..i thank God for these changes..and i'm reminding myself constantly (trying) that i worked so hard, got so stressed out, applied to so many, not to come all the way to London and wish to go home. so, i will jiayou. i must. 6 months will fly past, and i will be back in spore again, eating hokkien mee, drinking sugar cane, singing chinese worship songs, hearing sermons and prayers in chinese, taking yellow bus/mrt/lrt, sitting in ur car, stoning at esplanade/merlion/favourite bench :).

aims for 2006: to work hard and not keep wanting to slack. to have a thirst for knowledge itself, not to only finish up my work for the sake of it. to love God more and grow closer to him. to continue keeping in contact with friends and family in Singapore. to find my optimism and positivity once again.

I will JIAYOU!

New Year's Eve...

stonehenge!
pretty boats on a river
jane austen centre
a nice waterfall like thingy at pulteney bridge
the famous sally lunn bun - delicious when toasted and with filling!


the roman baths

outside bath abbey

nuff said.

the paella they cooked! :) yum yum
street in barcelona
ppl of the restaurant we visited thrice in 3 days :)
entrance to a nice garden
bay at palma the city centre
beach in mallorca near our aparthotel
on the trasmediterranea setting off for mallorca
in front of some market at the ramblas
at the top of sagrada familia by gaudi

pictures in London...

here i am back in my room again, but this time, alone. jus came back from heathrow sending him off. was just thinking, the two trips i made alone to heathrow were made of emotions worlds apart..i know and am reminding myself that it's already a bonus that you could come, and i can only be thankful for all the time spent together..

been a long time since i updated..too lazy to do a day to day recount...will just talk a little bout the trips then post up photos which everyone wants to see..ha..

spain (20th - 26th dec): most memorable part was our search for our hotel on the first day we arrived. the night before, we searched online for the nearest metro station to the hotel, and so obviously when we arrived, we went straight to that metro station happily to look for the hotel. it was a small quiet townish area, and we roamed the streets looking for the hotel, to no avail. asked a few ppl here and there, someone told us it was round the corner and was a big building we couldnt miss it. but we couldnt find any anywhere. then we walked into a pharmacy and asked the ppl there. when they looked at the address, they said 'this is sant joan despi, not in barcelona' both of us were like ?!?!?! den how ?!?! it wasnt even on the map of barcelona we had, and it was a town out of barcelona. we called the hotel, and she told us to take the tram to this station, which was what we did. upon arriving, we walked to a hotel which we thot was ours because of the same name, only to find out that it was the wrong place again. called the hotel again, and realised wat she meant was to take the tram to the other end. and so..all in all, we only managed to check in to our rooms 4-5 hours after we arrived at the barcelona airport. phew. at least the hotel was nice, it was an apartment hotel..only the location sucked..ha..other than that, shopping in barcelona was not bad, with shops like zara and mango cheaper there..

then we took the trasmeditteranea to mallorca, an island of spain. hmm..our apartment hotel was once again out of town and the bus system wasnt that convenient..it was quite slightly boring here tho..since we lived in a quiet town and shops closed quite early..best memory was of paella, a spanish dish of rice mixed and cooked with fish, prawns, crab, lobster, squid, chicken, vegetables..very very nice!! heh we went back to the same restaurant 3 days consecutively. :p it was near where we stayed u see. hmm..we also spent christmas here..a very different christmas for both of us..not in church and not with family..was missing home quite alot..but at least i wasnt alone.

main thoughts of spain : it looks like malaysia! other than the weather (it wasnt as warm as we thot it'll be), the ppl, and the language (they dun speak much english..), it looks like malaysia to us. hah.

27th dec: it snowed!! right outside my window!! so pretty:) first time for both of us..was nice..went out to take photos :p

bath (28th-30th dec): nice place for a short 1-2 day trip..quite some interesting tourist attractions like the roman baths, jane austen centre, sally lunn's place and the stonehenge! other than that, it was quite boring too..shops closed at 5-6 pm..so we were basically roaming the streets when it was dark and pathetically looking for shops to go into..and did i mention it was super cold in bath, colder than in London..but nothing can beat stonehenge..it was ultimately freezing darn cold!!!! my fingers and toes were seriously hurting even with leather gloves and shoes.

30th dec: went to watch phantom of the opera! :) was nice, but maybe i expected too much..wasnt as good as i thot it'll be. but still nice..too bad our seats had an obstructed view

new year's eve: went to the london eye/big ben/river thames for a countdown, to watch the fireworks mainly. the streets were -flooded- with people..totally filled..fireworks were impressive and spectacular..very nice! it was also a celebration for the 2012 olympics being held here in london..but after the display, we were stuck in the massive crowd to the underground station for almost 1 hour..madness. shoes, jeans got stepped on, got pushed around etc..cigarette smoke and beer bottles everywhere and all..eww. got home at 2 and only slept at 4.20am!

today : went to church in the morn and once again had lunch tog wif the usual group. came back, finished up the packing and i cooked a simple dinner for him before we rushed off to the airport..

and here i am back in my room again, but this time, alone.