wowee..that's fast...concert's over and it's the end of may already...too bad wont be able to go on e malaysia trip wif e rest of e alumni :( can imagine it'll be really fun wif e fellow j3s and e nice ppl in alumni :)
concert wasnt too bad :) tho abit voiceless after that..heh (i must admit i haf finally understood how jialat e higher voices feel most of e times heh) but went for nice supper feast and feels great to be able to eat everything cos dun need to purposely save voice le hehe :) and of course wif good company too :)

wont be able to go for choir gathering on e 11th :( missing so many things due to e bangkok trip...church camp oso...oh wells.

looking forward to weekend weekend weekend.

Feeling..lost. dunno wat to think..confusion, in a way. Called nus this morning, and received a rude shock..that they actually dun haf my app in e system, probably I made a mistake and didn’t submit or there’s jus smth wrong wif e system..hmm oh wells. In other words, I didn’t apply for e school.

For now, it may seem as a small thing, but when I first heard that from e admissions stuff, I totally freaked out. So many things raced through my mind..what if I dun end up with anything at all? I was really scared in that moment. But, suddenly I minimized the webpage and I saw my desktop picture – a calm and serene picture of a picturesque lake with mountains with bluish mountains, green trees surrounding and a vast orange sky. Even tho it was jus one simple photograph, it struck me on how magnificent my God is. Indeed, what need I fear when God is with me. Mere humans we are, and all we can do is just to place our lives in His hands.

I jus cannot describe how these thoughts jus calmed me down so much, and comforted me. I realized after thought, that I will NEVER end up with nothing at all. Because he has already blessed me with so so much, so much more than I can ask for, and I trust He will continue to do so. Man’s vision and perspective of blessings may be narrow and limited, but His blueprint for our lives is always perfect and wholly planned for.

A piece of unsettling news, yes, but a good wake up call, to never take things for granted, and simply go with the flow. I guess, I’ve been ‘floating along’ for jus too long, losing grip of the one who’s truly blessed me with so much I may have yet to give thanx for. Taking things for granted, putting too much focus on me, myself and I.

For the reassuring smses that calmed me down a little and taught me to wait patiently and to trust and reminded me of how blessed I am with you, couldn’t be more thankful. Where to go from here, I dun really noe. But one thing I’m sure, He knows.

To share this poem I read in e church bulletin:

The Weaver

My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me,
I cannot choose the colours He worketh steadily.

Oftimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride
forget He sees the upper and I, the underside.

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly
shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skilful hand
as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

-Author Unknown

happy happy long weekend..that jus seemed to pass so fast!

been eating alot too!! argh. wonder if i can even fit into my choir gown for concert..hahha...and can u imagine when singing with support...it's gonna be quite. ahem. heh..well but main point is, been eating alot. growing fat fat but happily. hehe....

nice to jus be spending time together, simple joy. choir practices,roti prata supper, church, walking from orchard to city hall (on heels! heh), lazing at starbucks, listening to band and co concert, supper with delicious hokkien mee and fried tofu, bus rides, choir practice (improved one! yay =D), swimming (very very little tho. heh) , dinner, stoning.

well well. sums up weekend. back to work tml..tho it's a short week, and choir concert's coming up! kinda excited..miss performing...today when singing amor with e college j2s..felt so at home..hmm..miss bremen..miss school choir pract..miss familiar sights around the avt seeing familiar ppl..miss all of that. glad to haf this chance to perform in e alumni :) music is simply beautiful :p esp when it's human voices! heh..tho i feel quite cmi in the choir cos jus cant sing stuff well enuf..still lookin forward to sat's concert. :D yay.

dun like having to worry bout nitty gritty stuff, but that's jus the way life is sometimes. but after wasting time worrying, i'm learning to step back and be thankful for other things that are making the situation so much easier to handle.

worrying and getting irritated over the compilation of the yf contact list...it's jus so easy yet so difficult to finish up. and plus it's been draggin for so super duper long..it's more than about time it should be completed. things that are bugging me are jus those nitty gritty stuff, like how to print e names in e certain order, wat kinda paper etc, which really irks me sometimes..but i learn to step back and look at e bigger picture. and what i'm most thankful for is that i even haf aiping's help now..making things so much easier..

jus got an email from sp, notifying me bout some dates for the signing of the scholarship bond, and jus realised that the sureties had to be present as well..started worrying bout not having leave to take, it being difficult to get both gugu and jf laoshi to make it, not having an official acceptance letter from e school yet, etc etc..and losing e big picture again. later on, talking to jf laoshi online and him being so pleasant about it made me feel so much beta.

hmm also jus heard bout some shocking and sad stuff from mich...well i guess..trustin that God has his plan and time can get really tough sometimes, yet it's the simplest thing we can do. the few years ahead, really dunno what it's gonna be like and all, but trusting fervently that he has his plans, and his plans are always to prosper us and never to harm.

on mc today..having gastric..no matter how adamant i am in insisting that it wasnt the tomyam ramen i ate on sunday, i cant think of any other reason to explain this..so..heh. :p

had fun discussing wif diane jus now on the upcoming stuff..e possibility of being roomates in imperial, going shopping for thick jackets and stuff tog..going there together..heh..i'm jus glad i wont be alone.

such a long long lonely week ahead..or so i feel.. looking forward to the weekend!