after a whole day at home...

ha..was bored.....started with trying out a phy paper....not that bad..until i changed to stooopid fm complex no.s....ha...crap la...didnt noe how to do every question...hehe...it was so demoralising...(but look here i am still laughing about my incapabilities in tackling it :p) but anw...took a nap halfway while doing it :p hehe...woke up and still dunno how to do. haha...crap la...now hafta change to chem le..hehe...

watched a bit of the olympics closing ceremony jus now...time really zooms man...i can still remember it jus opening and now it's the end already?!?! the next one's gonna be in china..which reminds me the next choir olympics gonna be in china too!!! :) :) :) wonder if i'll ever be able to go for it. :p

haha heard the news today tat u can actually fly to thailand for jus $2!!!!!!! can u imagine...ha...it's cheaper than taking taxi la!..haha...u jus get onto the taxi it's already $2.40....haha...hearing the 2 bucks deal suddenly jus made me think of our dream to go travelling together next yr :p hehe really really hope we'll be able to go together one day...it'll be so so fun la!!!! haha...oh no..i think i'm suffering from end-of-school withdrawal symptoms..cant believe it...ha...

feeling nostalgic already.

lots of things to come to terms with lately. everyone says this, but when u really truly experience it, it's really scary. time actually flies. it zooms past u like nobody's business especially during the good times.

issit a sign of ageing? haha...been having lotsa 'sit-down-and-think-thru-life' moments lately...ha..

think i still haf to come to terms with the fact that yesterday was the end of my life as a piano student with the last practical exam...if you ask me how it went, i'll jus say ok la, ok loh..and watever else to that extent. not cos i couldnt think of anything beta to say, but cos i really dun noe how it went as well...it jus zoomed past me....there were bad parts i must say...many parts i fumbled..but i'm trying to tell myself not to think of all that...lik ms L said before i think, for every wrong note u play or sing, u've already played countless correct notes...so i guess i jus hafta look on the bright side of life and move on...but larger than this, i think my 'lost' feeling is jus cos i cant really believe that i've been learning since 5 and now it's all gonna end. right there. haiz. yest couldnt do any work...jus had to sit down there and stone and think of stuff even tho i didnt noe wat i was thinking about myself.

another thing is today was the last day of school..ha how ironic...i think last time i couldnt wait for this day to come cos it meant that j2 will be over soon...but now...already feeling a sense of loss..ha..mayb it sounds kinda drama la..but when 3a, touch rugby ball (trb) and me left elderly and the rest and walked out of sch today and i turned to walk to my bus stop while they walked to theirs, really felt kinda sad...i mean like we're still gonna see each other at the dreaded prelims la..but u noe...it's gonna b different...haiz...think we've had quite a lot of fun together...and it's kinda gonna end. right here. I always complained about our class having so little girls, only the pathetic six of us surrounded by a whole swarm of guys. haiz. wat to do. double maths. but like trb said, it's jus cos we have so little girls that's why all of us can be one major clique. imagine if we had so many girls..maybe the class would liven up la, but we wont be as close, or may be made up of a few cliques...so actually, it's kinda fun to haf the six of us together too. :D :D :D yay.... had lotsa fun wif u guys, and no matter how the days leading to the prelims had seemed gloomy at first, u've added lotsa sunshine to them. :D

choir's the other aspect...like leaving a part of u behind...with the closure of school and all...like 'officially''s the word..you're officially leaving school..haiz oso dunno la. think i've harped on this fact enuf le. miss every single one lots and lots already. oh no..i think i'm really ageing...ha...

well then. today Mr T act said smth quite meaningful. even as we go, lots and lots will change..but i guess wat's impt is to always keep in contact with the ppl u once knew, cos it'll always be nice to meet up and catch up and remember the fun times you've had together.

teaching myself to cherish every single moment.

happy day. :D

wow....so full after eating at swensen's!! haha..but it was fun...guoqing, christina and fareena and i....hehe..like pigs la..cos the `topless five` was so cheap..haha..only $1.39.. hehe...after we ate our own share, they even bought one more set to share..haha...but fun to be pigs :p

haha actually i haf to admit that even tho it's nearer and nearer the prelims, i'm glad that our bunch of frens haf managed to stay sorta happy go lucky and not turned into desperate muggers..ha..it's kinda fun to go to sch nowadays..ha...wat wif our craze over christina's handmade earrings and tetris on our graphic calculators..hhaa..and we played badminton and table tennis for ct summore..ha...it's so fun to jus simply haf fun. haha if u ever get to read this, elderly, 3a and touch rugby ball, ha..wanna tell u that it's really great to haf u all as frens :)

how i wish life can just stay happy lidat. hehe. dun ever wanna face the exams.

closing yet another chapter.

the day jus buzzed by so quickly today..and i went for two piano lessons today..haha...sounds weird..yep..but went at 8.45 am only to find out that i had to go for a make up one at 3.45..ha...to make up for next week's...cos it'll be after exam le...

haiz time really flies..i think e reality hasnt hit me yet that i wont be having any more lessons anymore after this week...feels weird..it's like i've been having piano lessons all my life?! ha...started learning since i was 5 ...ha...(jus shows i've been advancing at snail's place) ..really long time but cos i dun take pract exams every year...

haiz...dis is the end le..oso dunno how to react. dunno whether to be relieved or to feel sad and a sense of loss. i think it's more of the latter. as u grow older..piano lessons get kinda nicer..cos u kinda become friends wif the teacher...and no longer so freaked out by her anymore :p

i guess i've grown.

it's been a long journey, and now, i'll be closing yet another chapter of my life. hope this isnt the end tho. hope i wont jus give up on piano lidat jus cos there arent any more lesson to push me.

dont keep relying on urself..

had a 1 hour long piano practice at e kawaii studio today..the first of the two..now feeling quite drained...

haiz..was feeling sad and scared after the pract..cos jus felt dat it was so unproductive...i would only regard the first two times i played each piece as good..then after that it was totally bad...mayb cos played for 1 hour non stop la...but cant help but feel that my hands are jus so weak..haiz...why cant i haf better stamina...if this goes on like that..cant help but worry that i may not be able to last till the last piece..and that's the crucial one...the tough one...need lotsa energy for that..wat if i cant last till that...then all my practise will come to nought...haiz...

feeling better now tho..after encouragements from ppl...realise that i shouldnt depend on myself so much..cos in the end, we just haf to trust that God will be there for us and hold us when we fall...i really really hope that i'll rememeber that no matter wat happens, and learn not to depend on my one strength and my own capabilities...because we're nothing without Him. nothing.

there was the firefly scholarships talk today..felt that it's quite a good option too...always felt that i prob wont go for it cos it seemed as tho u needed econs..but well sorta learnt that u can take other disciplines like engineering too and they still need u as much...so hmm..maybe it's a good option? but haiz..feeling stressed and worried again..but dad told me to trust in God plan's for my life...well something i really haf to learn. no matter how much we may want something, if it isnt in God's plan for you, no point wanting it so much....

pray that i'll learn to rely on God in ALL i do..something really very difficult to do altho it sounds easy...haiz...

a week's half over le...so fast...it's already the eighth week...argh...here i am complaining again...stop it..haiz...

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:29-31

it reminded me of OUR olympics..

hmm..watching the olympics reminded me of our own choir olympics we'd been to a month ago...seemed so near, but yet, come to think of it, a month has already passed since we came back..

watching all those representatives of their countries wearing gymnastic suits and all wif their flag colours emblazoned, cant help but feel a deep sense of nostalgia as i think back to how we were also so full of pride for our own country there in bremen.

haiz. no matter how much we say, things will never be the same again...tho it's already over, it's been a wonderful wonderful wonderful memory. one that all of us will hold very dearly to our hearts i believe.

i secretly wish that in the future, choir olympics will make as big a name as the sporting olympics..then maybe we'll be considered as one of the pioneers in this field! :p

back to school tml...sianz..

something's missing

moving along the road from church, past standard chartered, and further on home, cant help but notice that the roads are now looking so empty...sudden realisation strikes me that the trees once there had been such a beautiful sight, one that will cease to exist from now on. now cut away for road expansion purposes, the road shoulders are now only brown, brown and brown in colour. sometimes, life is just as such. we dont learn how to appreciate some things until they're taken away from ur life. hope i'll learn to appreciate all the things i haf now, cherish and treasure them well, because u never noe when these will be taken away from you.

something i really treasure, is fellowship time in yf. really glad i went today, tho we may not seem to have done much, but to me, like wat i said, i never regret going for yf (if i even go. ) it just felt nice seeing such familiar faces there, and knowing that sat 3.30 pm, there will be yf as usual, jus depending on whether u wanted to make the effort to go or not. Lord how i wish I had the strength to make yf as importatn a commitment as anything else. yep, always felt that sat should be the time u use to catch up wif mugging and work and stuff, and always hating myself for not making the effort to go for yf. wat's worse, sometimes when i am free to go, i dont cos that week agnes or xinyi isn't gg...hmmm guess that's something i mus change.

very thankful for the short sharing time we had when we shared our prayer request, it was nice to jus know that there will be ppl praying for you as u go on in life. like i shared, feeling lost now bout the future, prelims, a levels, uni applications, courses to take..a never ending list..haiz.pray that i'll haf clearer directions of wat steps i should take.

at least yf was fulfilling. :D :D

lost.

ha think the last time i blogged was relatively long ago...until when i tried to log in three times, had to do it thrice cos i forgot my user name.. :p

well..time really really flies...getting more and more worried as the clock ticks by...prelims coming closer and closer and closer...and jus feels so helpless cos i feel as if i dunno where to start.

feel like i havent been studying enough..these few days of holidays haf jus been spent enjoying time wif frens and church and all...like never study!! how how how?!?!

and i jus feel as if there's a part of my life that's missing.

haiz. somebody please tell me wat to do. :(

E weekend's here! :)

The week's ending le..*heaves a big sigh of relief*...but then, once again, it's another step closer to the prelims..haiz..today ms teh jus said that chem pract is only three weeks away...

beginning to be very worried cos i dun seem to feel the urgency yet...no urgency yet to want to study real hard..jus feels early to me...dunno..i feel as if i'm still in the 'complete ur tutorials' phase...silently hoping this phase wont be over tho...cos by then i'll be left wif no choice but to mug. :(

at least this has been a really short week..monday was holiday cos of carnival...and tml is national day celebrations...half day only!! hehe...gonna watch the notebook...cant wait....bet it's gonna be such a nice sweet movie...gonna cry like mad... hehe...like this kinda shows..and plus it's romantic summore..ha...aw...so sweet..and i havent even watched it yet! :p

by the way..recently have been getting more and more stressed bout uni application...think i dun really noe wat i want myself..haiz....when will i noe...really pray for God's guidance...well maybe jus try lo...haiz...oso dunno la..it's like conflicting feelings all over the place...whether or not to apply, whether or not to take SAT II, whether or not to study that course...and bla bla bla..haiz...like i always say..i wish we could all jus continue staying in our own happy bubble..but sadly, it's not possible..gotta move on...haiz...

hehe..ok la..i think when u run out of things to say, it kinda suggests ur life's really boring. :p