busy and tiring day!

yep yep..it was a busy and tiring day...but definitely fun. ha.. had school carnival today...havent had that kinda feeling for a long time...when the whole school is so involved and the whole school's jus filled wif noise, loud music and ppl all over the place looking happy. :) the last sch fun fair i had was only in sec 3...cos in sec 4 it was jus few days before o levels..so couldnt go...
so today really brought back memories of the 3rd nov fun fairs we had in mg...ha...

haha just decided today i'm jus gonna forget bout all the tutorials, all the stuff we haf to study, and just haf fun! :D yup yup...think i did la..ha....like fareena said..mus be 'kiddy kiddy' today...haha :p played lotsa games, ate lotsa crap and watched teachers get dunked haha..

today a very sweet thing happened to me...yiwen was so sweet...u noe at carnivals there's usually this dedication service thing...yup..it's like you sorta go send in a dedication - a msg and a present like a flower or smth...then i got one from yiwen, to show her appreciation for our friendship...she so sweet la...got a pretty pink rose..ha...

after that christina and i went out...ha...quite fun la...ha two of us ah...our purpose was to buy presents, but a lot of the time end up looking at nice earrings for ourselves...haha :p *guilty look * hehe...but in the end managed to get all the things we set out to buy...ha...took so long trying to decide what she should get for her section...haha :p went to eat at nydc...cos she had to use up her voucher which was expiring...ha and i'm feeling like a pig now..hehe...

tomorrow's sunday again! yay... :D always happy when sunday comes along...and this time even happier cos there's no school for us on mon! hehe...holiday cos of the carnival we had today...best...hehe....one day to mug tho.. :(

okies till the next entry...tata...

My days are all this sian..

funny when u feel as if there's nothing much to write about your day? weird that there's nothing special enough for you to remember dearly?

these few days haf jus been lidat...after sch go to e library to mug...but actually it's jus like trying to catch up wif tutorials..cos think if i come home i'll prob jus slack and waste my time away..

today just very tired..ha..dunno why oso..yest i slept wif the lights on the whole nite...cos i fell asleep reading gp...haiz...so during phy lect..was jus sleeping like a pig...ha....

need to go on diet! or at least cut down on consumption! ha cos i havent had time or opportunities to exercise much..so unhelathy la! jus eat and eat and dun exercise..ha...gonna seriously turn into a pig soon...a pig who only knows how to catch up wif tutorials..ha...

well well..the day's gonna be over le...another day just like that...and as much as i hate to remind myself...it's 5 more weeks to the prelims...really pray for strength...

 

Closing this chapter of my life.

well well. the end has finally come. today was the last choir pract we'll ever attend officially as college choristers (cos i'll prob join e voices haha :p ) hmm...at least the mood today was not very very teary and all...tho of cos there were tears shed here and there....

haiz...this kinda feeling is jus so so difficult to articulate...so much to say...how to put it all into words? i've been spending time this whole week writing letters to ppl i cherish a lot in choir..and as i write, there's this inevitable feeling of sadness that overcomes me...jus feel so reluctant to end this wonderful journey we all shared together...

got many little notes from friends today too...all really sweet and heart warming....teared as i read them over and over and over again...cos these things..you jus cant get sick of it. after that looked thru my choir fotos again and again too....all the sweet memories jus came flooding back into my mind..oh oh...gonna start tearing again... :(

really made a lot of good frens here in the choir...frens i know i'll cherish for a life time...frens i know will stay wif me thru problems...Ms Lim and Mrs Goh always say our batch is the best batch they've had thus far, cos were jus such a together batch so free of politics and so amiable and easy to like. think i'm really very very blessed to be in this batch of choristers...cos we're really such a wonderful blend of different ppl who can work together to make music and everything else a success. :) :) :)

as we part from the choir...i'm sure we'll all bring these very sweet memories wif us...this quote sums up everything..."It's good to have an end to journey towards, but it's the journey that matters in the end. " yup it's really very true...cos even tho these 1.5 yrs haf been so successful, wat we would take wif us in the end is the close knit friendships and bonds we've built and all the wonderful experiences we shared together as a choir.

Amelia and I wanted to start this 'alto tradition'..ha..we bought this really nice notebook..and put our foto in it...and along wif it wrote a long note to the future sls...really hope this will be passed on for generations to come....can u imagine how nice it'll be to look at it many years down the road and think of all these memories again... :) :)

dun think i can ever express enuf how i'm feeling rite now...already feeling this sense of loss...haiz...think will take a long long time to recover from this feeling. hmm. and think whenever i look at the letters again, will always start tearing again. such is the beauty of friendhsips and bonds.

to the whole choir, especially the dearest j2s wif whom i've spent the best times of jc life with, you're truly the best thing that ever happened to me in jc, for all of u and much more, a big thank you. and will always miss you all even as we close this chapter of our lives and move on. every single one of you haf made a difference in my life one way or another. :)

last but not least, hope to remember this piece ps wrote..hope u dun mind if i put it on my blog too, cos it's something that really touched me alot.

Life's a beach. And we the strollers on the beach, picking up seashells of memories.
I was walking along my beach that day and i chanced upon this special one. I held it close to my ears and listened to the heavenly echos of the sea, reminising the special moments we shared. The echo rang clear at first but as time glided by, softened to a soft humming effect.
Then the tides drew in, washing up even more beautiful seashells ahead. The shore glistened as the sun shone its beam and that was God showing the way ahead.
It is now time to move on.
With the special shell in my hand, i prodded forth. More beautiful shells ahead, more chapters to begin, more memories to collect. i ask for nothing more but a promise that we'll hold dear to this special shell.
The echo in the shell will ring on, soft and subtle. And friends, we'll meet at the end of our beaches and realise that all these while, we were but just a water apart. We were not and will not be alone. i thank you for this special shell.

once again, this was written by ps. really inspirin. thanx for sharing it. :)

 

ladida..

the comp at home's spoiled...haiz...using the comp in the sch library now while i'm typing the farewell letters...hmm...feel so sad while typing the letters..cos it jus feels like everything's coming to and end. and this is really the end. after the farewell on sat...life's gonna be really empty...

things are getting better tho...first few days of sch after we came back from bremen, was feeling really really sian and empty...it's like until you meet another one of ur choir frens, you'll jus go on feeling lidat the whole day...kinda unfair to the other ppl around you rite? haiz..but i couldn't help it then...now getting better le...maybe getting back into the schooling momentum?

i remember especially on one of the days..tuesday..it was really quite bad...like jus trudge from lesson to lesson, tutorial to tutorial...but then after sch met ppl at kelvin's class bench then we jus sat down looking at fish's fotos and my fotos and ended up chatting for quite long...nothing much, jus a simple meeting up and toking...but somehow jus made e whole day feel better. ching, kelvin, and later fang ting was there too..and it was jus nice loh. :)

hmmm well...learning to be more optimistic nowadays...and i guess when u're trying to encourage someone else, you gotta learn how to encourage and perk yourself up first..maybe that helps..ha...and i learnt that complaining just gets you nowhere..jus makes you feel worse..ha...yest i forgot to complain there was phy pract..cos i forgot there was until the period jus before...ha...so thankfully it jus passed so quickly and easily...maybe if we were more optimistic about life, things wont be so bad after all.

must try to stay happy all the time! cos i know God is my strength and he will lead me thru every step of the way. :)

The simple pleasures in life..

As I trudged along the road while walking home this hot and sunny Monday afternoon, 3 things brought a simple smile to my face.
 

1. hearing the song Glory of Love on radio.. it’s such a sweet song! Haha…can u imagine if some really sweet guy sang this and really meant it…really very nice..haha…was just toking wif fareena bout this song today then heard it on radio..ha…gals weakness ah…dreaming bout bai ma wang zi haha but a bit the fairy tale la..but no matter wat, the lyrics are still very sweet and the melody is nice too. :p (realize this para has been slightly bimbotic..oops... :p )
 
Glory of Love
Tonight it's very clear
Cause we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I would never leave you alone

Sometimes I'll just forget
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't wanna lose you
I could never make it alone

CHORUS
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

It's like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

2. seeing a really cute and chubby baby as I walked to the side gate. I didn’t even manage to catch much of its face! He was jus simply clinging on to his mom like a little koala bear. Haha. But can jus imagine the angel like smile on his face. Hehe.

3. saying hello to the ever so friendly old grandpa who helps to keep our block clean..these few days always when I come home I happen to meet him..ha he very cute always say ‘oh hui jia le ah?’ ha I learnt from him how to appreciate the little things in life and stay happy cos even tho his job is definitely not the nicest ones around, he always has this very bright and friendly smile on his face when he toks to whoever passes him by.

Feeling alone

Waves of loneliness overcome me yet again. Why why why does this always happen to me? I’m not alone, I know that in my heart. Maybe not physically, but psychologically? Mentally? I know I haf frens, I even know I haf God wif me. Then why does this sickening feeling overcome me ever so frequently? Maybe it’s cos I simply cannot find someone who can understand me totally and accept me totally for who I am. Someone I’m totally comfortable with and know will be there for me anytime I need her or him.
 
Trying too hard to please ppl around me? Maybe. Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing. Of course I like to be nice. Sincerely, being nice to ppl does make me feel good as well. Maybe that’s just another way of calling me plain. But I wonder about the times I don’t feel like being the nice one. Who’s the one who’s gonna comfort me and be nice to me?
 
Used to think that this shouldn’t be a problem. Friends? I have lots! School, church, cca, u name it. The older I get, however, the more I realize, having friends is one thing, having someone who knows and understands you is another. Dun think I ever had a real best friend, cept maybe the ones we called in lower primary to be our best buddies ever. As we grow up, however, things change. People walk the journeys of their lives wif different paces. Some walk a little faster, some lagging behind. Who’s the one who’s willing to slow down his or her pace to walk wif me? Or who is willing to walk a little faster to catch up wif me? Sacrifices. Yes. But sometimes, it feels like I’m the one making sacrifices all the time.
 
I’ve been thinking, maybe it’s cos in all the situations I’m in, there’s usually a group of us who always sticks together. A clique u call it. Always more than two people. Perhaps as a result, the friendship among the clique is diluted? Yes, we go thru life together, but there is no one single person wif whom u can totally be urself with. Still trying too hard to be accepted, to please. Even sometimes, with people u’ve grown up wif since a young age, u start to realize u dun noe them too well after all. Everything’s becoming a blur.
 
Maybe it’s also cos as we reach this age, ppl get attached? I dunno, but it seems to me like I’m left alone because frens wif whom I used to be so close to are now attached. Moved on, they call it. Then how about the ppl u left behind? Ever wondered how it feels to be left behind? Guess not. Unfair isn’t it. It suddenly feels as tho u’re now second in place.
 
Either that, or frens with whom I love to be with are ever so distant. In other schools, classes, faculties perhaps, it’s difficult to know that person thoroughly. Maybe I’m afraid? Maybe I’m still afraid of rejection and loneliness.
 
Classmates. Yep, we spend happy times together. And sure, we go thru bad times together though sometimes it seems as tho there aren’t much of these very bad times we go thru together. But still, it’s difficult to find one single person I can totally be myself with.
 
Am I the only one with such anxieties? Fretting too much over nothing? Perhaps.
 
Being ms nice can also be tiring sometimes. Have u ever asked? Ever questioned if I was too tired? I certainly do not mean that I don like being the nice and accommodating one. Sometimes I actually prefer that mayb jus cos of my personality? Being accommodating and giving? I dunno. Ppl are nice to me too, of course. Maybe it’s jus me, but I still cant find the depth in their niceness. If that even makes sense.
 
I think no matter with whom, there will always be this wall between ppl, esp when one gets older. Its getting harder and harder to build real and lasting friendships. Am I putting too much into interpersonal relations? Maybe I value relationships too much. So much it hurts. Sometimes I feel as if I’m the one valuing each friendship I have, but I dun feel as much return from the other person. Oversensitive? Maybe.
 
Mentally I know God is always with me, but the idea, I haf to admit, is quite abstract and intangible. Still learning perhaps.
 
I do haf frens wif whom I can totally be myself. But then again, we’re probably so far apart what wif our different lifestyles and circle of friends. Friendships need communication and time to grow. We’re losing that. Fast.
 
Issit that difficult to find someone wif whom u can totally drop ALL pretense and be yourself? And someone who can be there almost ALL the time? I’m probably asking too much. Maybe only God himself can fit those tough conditions. Maybe I value all these just too much.
 
Hoping to find that one person soon. 
  
 

Back to reality - time to move on

Already feeling a sense of loss.
 
Back to reality. Im sure everyone of us who went to Bremen would have this same complaint…that time has jus flown by us so so quickly, and we would much rather go back to our life there in Bremen than schooling life here..Haiz. sometimes reality really sucks. Lots of work to catch up on and also the knowledge that I wont be having choir practice for the rest of the year really hurts.
 
Its time to move on, yes I noe.
 
It was nice having the choir dinner on thurs after we came back..like so nice to see all of u again…even the non brememners. Ha…but whoa it WAS an EX meal…..haha…but as like u all were saying, we could just treat it as one of the 14 Euro dollars meals we never had in Germany itself…haha….
 
Another thing I’m very happy about, is that we’re going to prom together! Haha…I think that sounds really really fun…at least theres something to look forward to after the dreadful A’s….
 
Well well dun think bout that now. For now, just haf loads and loads of notes to copy, tutorials to do and farewell notes to write! Haha…collecting my photos later…cant wait :D :D

these are the bremen j2s in our folklore costume after our folklore accapella finals 

High on Bremen and e Olympics

So so so much to say! I’m back from Bremen! Missing it so much now…the past few days have been a blast of an experience….enjoying every single moment of the choir filled days…I half wish we can all really be full time choristers instead of students..tho of cos that’s not possible :p

Dun haf the energy now to do a day to day recount of wat exactly went on everyday there in Bremen, but wrote it down in travel diary le..so for now, I jus want to remember that the past few days haf been one of the best few days of my life. Wif a sense of achievement and fulfilment.

We won gold medals for both categories of the competition. Truly unbelievable for a young and not so established choir like us…but then again, telling ppl this kind of stuff wont garner the same kind of sentiments, they’ll prob just go like “oh ok..so?” ppl wont really understand how much we, as a choir, went thru together and how we’ve enjoyed each and everyone’s company the last few days. But u noe wat? That doesn’t really matter, cos wat matters is that all of us went thru it together. The gold medals really mean a lot a lot to every single chorister of our choir, and the memories will last us a lifetime. :D never in my life haf I felt such pride for Singapore! Haha :p

I wil always remember how all of us held hands saying our little prayers and also holding our Singapore flags while waiting for them to announce our results for the finals, esp when it came to folklore. Think all of our hearts skipped a beat when the mark for the choir jumped to 81 point something. It was like the moment of our lives la. All simultaneously jumped up screaming….tears just flowed naturally.

I will also always remember how we sang Amor so perfectly on the day of our Mixed Youth cat finals. This magical feeling. This tingling feeling. This love for choir and every fellow chorister. That image we painted together in ONE VOICE was perfect.

I will always remember how we rushed to and fro everyday from our hotel to competition grounds, rushing to take the bus, the train, packing our costumes and our shoes into our backpacks, wearing our brightly coloured costumes on the train and getting weird stares, wearing our thin choir gowns and nearly freezing to death in the cold wind, trying to take photos everywhere we went and acting like dumb tourists, Timo’s bird shit experience which took place right in front of me(haha :p),Amelia going to the hospital cos of medication allergies, eating our first german hotdogs for lunch when we first reached, the nice simple chat the j2s had in em and ne’s room on the last nite, and even up till the last day, running nearly the whole way from market place to hauptbanhopf to catch the 1.40 train cos we were so so late, singing at the airport and crying, esp the national day songs and dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui, singing on the train and actually anywhere else possible.

Think these few days haf oso brought all of us together, not only within the college but oso wif the voices…esp for us, the j2s…grown much closer and truly this friendship built really means A LOT to me. Dun think I can convey this in words now, cos it’s really something felt among all of us I guess. Will always hold dear to this friendship. Although our term is ending soon, and all of us getting teary eyed (even the guys!) really really comforted that we’ll always be frens forever and we always can join the voices when we graduate!

If anyone of u ever read this, jus wanna say to all u j2s out there, love all of ya loads and loads and loads jus cant express it enough. Jus like I said, I really feel very xing fu to be able to be in hc choir in this year, cos we’ve been thru so much together, so many 1sts. 1st concert at esplanade, first time taking part in choir Olympics and first time coming back wif two, yes TWO gold medals. We’ve come so far together, and I believe that we will stay together and walk on together. This kinda feeling is jus so magical I guess, so intangible but still something so true to every single one of us. Really thank God for his marvellous plans for our lives, and it’s jus so miraculous how he watches over us.

As the last few days passed one by one, I keep asking myself, what if I hadn’t come to HC? Or wat if I wasn’t part of the 2003/04 batch in choir? Or worse still, wat if I hadn’t joined choir at all in the first place? I would have been a totally different person. God really works in wondrous ways.

If I jus go on and on toking bout this, think I’ll jus be repeatin myself again and again just trying to say the same kinda stuff. Cos this kinda feeling is just so difficult to express in a few words, and it’s impossible to find the best words to describe it aptly. Its something u can only ti hui if u’re part of us. :D

In all, jus wanna say that although I wont be able to describe in detail wat we went thru the past few days together in Bremen, the memories of us together will always be held deep in my heart. While I was typing this, saw this piano score on e bed beside me, think it’s qian’s..the song is ‘if we hold on together’. Always liked this song a lot, so I started to sing the chorus to myself looking at the score, but after singing the first line, couldn’t carry on. Tears just flowed. Missing u all and cherishing u all lots. So thankful for everything.

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith hope and glory
Hold to the truth
In your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the winds
must learn how to mend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears
All away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come
Home to stay


When we are out there
In the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark
We'll feel the light
Warm our hearts
Everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
As high
As souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

Finally here. :)

It’s finally here. Have waited for like ages to finally say this. It’s finally here. Something I’ve been dreaming about since I dun even noe when. An international choir competition. A dream come true. But then again, mixed emotions overcome me.

Something else, the much dreaded block test two has come and gone. The tiring and draining part of july is over, and seriously, I dun think I really care that much about the actual results. *leaving it all to God*.

Heard that the choir hasn’t been too good during sun’s pract…cant help but worry. It’s a feeling difficult to convey, and some prob think that hmm it’s jus something so small..why bother wrecking ur emotional state over something lidat..but I guess when I picture us coming back with nothing much to be proud and satisfied about, feel this sense of loss. All these months of hard work should not just collapse now. Not at this crucial moment. Somehow our standard is always fluctuating so much..dunno if on the real day of the competition, we’ll be able to produce and give our best performance. Really, truly, hope so. *prays hard*.

Other than this, jus feel like there’s a lot to say, a lot to do, but dunno where to start. I say mixed emotions overcome me because somehow I jus feel this tingling sense of fear but at the same time excitement. Pretty normal I guess..but considering this isn’t the first time gg overseas without family..dunno why I’m feeling so weird…my guess is that everything’s just been like some whirlwind…hols, practs, block test and suddenly we’re flying to germany. Time really flies, think before I know it, I’ll already be back here practising piano and getting ready for piano exam. Haiz. Guess not the right time to think bout all these eh? Ha

Trying to tell myself to jus go all out for the competition, and also go all out to enjoy myself. I deserve a good break after mugging so hard! Ha..yeah ppl…been thinking about this trip day and night..and trying to picture us there together…really cant wait. Memories of this are gonna last me a lifetime (ha and I’m not even there yet! Hehe :p )

Haha!! Jus got a call from Gillian! Just to ask us to haf fun and take care over there in Germany…Hehe dunno why but it jus feels so good to tok to her…tho we didn’t even like tok much….jus abt yesterday’s class gathering and our choir trip, jus suddenly missed the times we could tok anytime we want in school! Haiz those days are over..and really miss u gal! Really hope we’ll haf more chances to meet up and stuff after this busy period…will try to get u smth from germany ( if possible :p ) ha and that means we MUST meet up! Hehe :)

Oh btw yesterday was too tired to blog bout the class gathering..and all I can say is that it was great meeting ALL of u.. tho it was really short for me (cos we had to leave early to mug :( ) it was a really sweet having a chance to see all u gals back from diff parts of the world even! Haha..good thing u all came back..i think that was part of wat pushed us to have a gathering..haha..very thankful for a class as u all! A special class that meets up even up till now! =) Dot still looks the same as ever..and was jus telling gill, it’s like sorta touching to see u still using ur same old wallet and same specs…ya..dunno why oso.sounds weird rite.haa..but it is indeed heartwarming.. :p ha and dot has dis sorta british drawl to the way she speaks now..haha..admit it gal…yeah and stella!…u look so grown up…u look great! U’ve always been the one among us always daring to be yourself and to be different…really admire that side of u! great to see u back here again…and Jane..still looks like good ole Jane I knew…great to see u back here too! Had a short but definitely great time yesterday toking to u all..too bad Gill u weren’t there! Hmm anw..hope we all get to haf big family gathering sometime soon oso…..

Well well. I realise I’m so disorganised..ha…almost no consistent trend of thought..ha..jus start toking bout anything that comes to mind..ha…next time will try to write a more organised entry. Try. Counting down.it’s only a few more hours till we take off! Next time I blog will be in a long time….tata! =)



----6th July 2004 . 2305 hours . LH 779 . Terminal 2.----

A potpourri

lost.
tired.
drained.
confused.
sian.
lonely.
sad.
irritated.
worried.
hopeful.
excited.
scared.
inertia.

--all mixed in one.

tired and losing it

haiz. why does this only happen to me...aiyoh...the stupid comp shut down again while i was typing my entry....only happens to me! sianz. watever.

hmm...well 2 days since i last wrote...cos yest was a long day...was so tired le...well mus say that it was great to go back for choir again....after so much mugging...but well couldnt help but feel alone...like i'm the only one who still has part of the stupid block test left..tho the s7s haf bio pract too...

hmm dunno la..but jus like the more i think the more worried i get bout it loh...suddenly freaked out one day...ha..ever had that feeling where it feels as if the four walls were closing in on u and u start breaking out in cold sweat? ha...a bit the drama la..but it happens...ha...esp when time is runing out..

and i havent even started on packing for bremen...mayb all these adds up..then suddenly feel like i'm running out of time..den get even more worried..

today dunno why oso..feel especially drained and tired..mayb result of yesterday's long practice...12-9 pm! wha..dunno how i managed to hold out..ha feeling the effects today..ha..

really pray that i'll haf the focus and the determination and the self discipline to complete this last paper i haf to my best loh...and i know God's wif me every step of the way.

today had a really great worship session in church...loved esp the song which reminded me that even if i dunno what may happen tomorrow, God holds my tomorrow and will be there before me. so comforting! i suddenly feel like there's nothing i should worry about then...

but well..cant help physical tiredness..still drained now..hope i'll be able to complete my math revision and go for 4A1 gathering tml...

really really pray i'll get back my enthusiasm for bremen! dun let me lose it now! really cant afford to...

Still

Hehehe wat can I say! I’ve survived nearly the whole week of block test!!! Yeah :D :D hehe…hmm..i definitely didn’t excel in every subject, but like I said, I’ve learnt to let go.

Today maths was pretty ok…it’s a subject I like…so I think I already told myself this should be the best paper out of all..haha…mayb that’s why I felt that it was ok and I jus continued doing every qn as it came…but today my fren asked me how come I can always stay so calm when during math c paper den she always panic. To that question, I was truly stumped for a moment. I simply answered, “dunno…mus enjoy the paper while u doing it ma…its just maths…haha ”

Thinking about it alone on the bus, I den realised that throughout this whole block test, maybe even without my knowing, God has been leading me through every step of the way. Before I even realised, it’s already Thursday and I’ve already gone thru gp, physics, chem. And now maths. Every step of the way, every paper I took, I felt the peace of God leading me. Now I look back and think…actually before, during and after every paper, I never really once panicked as much as I used to. Esp during the papers…the questions jus came, and I just tried my best to answer it. Tho some were left unanswered, it actually didn’t affect me for the rest of the questions. Just kept going. Without even noticing that God was right there beside me. Guess it’s jus human nature. To always forget and only come to him when you need help.

Mayb my answer should have been, God was there with me. I didn’t have anything to fear. Even at yesterday’s chem. pract which I’m sure I did quite badly, haa after that I felt more like laughing then I was feeling sad. Haha mus have been quite a funny sight, all of us pathetically trying to get accurate results and rushing around the lab taking stuff. Haha

Made me think of this song, Still.
Hide me now, under your wings. Cover me, within your mighty hands. When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm, Father You are King over the flood, I will be still, know you are God.

Learnt an important lesson today, to be still before God, and know that he’s always there and is King over the flood and storm. No matter what happens.