merry merry christmas

how ironic that i wish to be off on christmas eve but the RP schedule me to work but i ended falling sick. two buffet in the space of a week is too damaging. i have to start building up my immune system which implies more jogging and less eating of fried food.

had a challenge coming up this thu and i wonder if i can still fix into the business pant or not..hmmm...

hopefully when i turn 28, things wld work out even better for me...
it is time to hit another level of growth!!

back to the basic

now, why do we eat? because we r hungry? or becoz our mouth is itchy? of coz it cld be our love for food. behind every motive, there must be a reason to justify it. people who claimed that they "dont know" r either immature or they cld be gg through a cognitive structure adjustment to seek justification.

the worst kind cld simply heck care about the reason behind their move. then again, there r the follower. "my friend did this so i do this too lo..."

my point in life is: get back to the basic. why do we work? why do we choose this line? why do we buy this? why do we adhere to that?

getting emotional leads to nowhere in the long run.
think before u act?? i wldnt say so....
then act before u think?? it's even worse...

what matter most is to strike a balance between yr striking thoughts and yr defensive emotion.
so u go by 80/20? 70/30 or 50/50?

but before we go into such details. get back to the basic. ask yrself....why do we do the things we do???

revolution

with a stubborn character or with characteristic which indicate defiant, it does not equate revolution. to revolt, u need to see a problem. after which u need a plan which is rationale. finally, u need to convince plp to see yr view by being fair and not biased.

singapore is nearly a develop country now. judging from our recent economical growth, inflation and rise in standard of living (increase in taxi fare!). some tradtional,irrationale mindset have to go. the education needs to improve to change the mindset of singaporean.we need to learn how to make decision that affect our own life instead of replying too much of the government.for example, when inflation and gst sets in, instead of complain,cursing and swearing,why not try to work hard and earn a better living?

with a competitive economy like ours,opportunities r up for grab. it's a matter of mindset. dont stop when u have yr degree becoz that piece of paper wld become worthless five years down the road. upgrade yrself when the opportunity arises.

most importantly, be positive, whatever the previous generation try to impart to u,analyse and keep those which r useful. throw away mindset and idea which u dont understand.at the end of the day, if u cant keep up,u only have yrself to blame. being a develope nation meant that the only constant is changes.

then again, mindset is something difficult to adjust once it's imbule in yr cognitive structure. unless u have great determination or something castrophical happens in yr life, we all try to remain unchange.

it's just like we know that keeping outselves healthy is important. but...how many of us actually exercise???

operational xeno: 2nd phase

year end is coming. the 2nd phase of operation xeno commerce now.
what is not cherish shall not be given
what is cherish shall be rewarded..

what needs to be change mus be change
what need to be completed must not br delayed
be more unpredictable for changes is the only constant

what is life?

live the moment today!
yet rem to set some time to think abt the future!
control yr thought and ensure that it is thinking in the way u wiah becoz what come after that wld be yr action

too much of anything is bad. the optimal way is always to maintain a balance.
there's no meaning of playing when u dont work
yet working loses its purpose when u cant enjoy life

everything in life have its cause and effect
it aint matter anymore on how much breath u took
it only matter most on those moment that took yr life away

at the end of the day
ask yrself
what is the purpose of yr life???????

wrong or right

wrong never mind, just try again.
what we shd be afraid of is the tendency of not trying. in this way, we will never know if it is right or wrong.
your life is not other ppl's life. dont let other decide for u.
decide for yourself and learn from the mistake.
choose your path....
life is short....

deathnote incident is happening every month at least once in singapore.
deathnote incident defines as the tendecny for fit people to pass away without knowing why.
i have the opportunity to encounter this with someone close.
i saw it with my own eye.
and i had this stinky feeling that it is happening to me too.

for now,learn to relax.
after all, life is about learning how to have fun.
do u work and earn $2500 per month just to suffer???no!!!we r here to enjoy....

life is short..if u work hard,play and laugh twice as hard!

the last three days

GAMING!!!!what else to do when u r running low on funds? however,i am glad that i can overcome my need to spend funds that are plan for next month. though i might not be as rich as my part time days, i am still maintaining the basic financial standard; spending within my limits.

actually, i dislike that idea that i am only achieving the minimum standard; this is where i spend 0.95cents to $1 for every dollar i earned. i prefer to have the ability and capacity to save at least 20% of my take home pay though that might not be realistic for now. my fixed overhead is coming closed to $1500 where my earnings is slightly more than that. i realise that i am getting more and more impatient in my quest for more oranges. the implication cld be getting poor oranges! i know patient is one virtual i used to have but i can deny the facts and reality in my heart that my oranges accumulation is so low even though i am the most experience.can any soccer fans imagine that john terry earns lesser than timble bramble? the ans is obvious.

right now, i can only comfort myself it's only a matter of time where the oranges wld come. after all, it's the harvesting season!

hence the same conclusion: getting my cogtive structure right! enjoy life 1st

job job job

venturing into another website portal to loko for job. this is getting difficult. how wld u feel if u r given lesser orange and yet those who earn more oranges r asking u more question? it's a outrageous policy i have to say.

by the end of nov if i cannot find my dream job. i have to improvise. sometimes in life,u dont always get what u have. always keep in mind what u want and thrive for it...be patient alvin...be patient.....

life

sometimes in life, u dont always get the job u want. what most impt is to be able to have an income that can sustain ur spending habit before u think abt working in a job of yr preferences.maybe to ensure that i obtain a relevant job,i have to consider starting all over again...

Taxi lesson

Finally!!my pc is fixed. after nearly 2.5 weeks, they told me that the problem seems to vome from the power supply which appears faulty. they loan me one and send mine for further testing. i boarded a cab with its usual charges of $2.00 during peak hour.

Through the journey,i chatted a little with the cab driver. I ask him if he work 12 or more like what other taxi driver told me too. He said NO! He told me that he usually work just enough to cover this rental charges and daily expense. He reminded me of a theory:

"life nv go wrong with u r self-sufficient. if u earn $1, ensure the max u spend is $1. Anything more than that cld gives u a big headache. if u want to spend big then earn a bigger pay but ensure the additional workload wldnt give u additional stress which will affect yr health."

in life, we went through so much to fight for our career, social status but what is the price we pay? is it our health? to even out the stress we had, isnt it time to take things easy for a while?after all, even if u earn extremely well and have lots of spare cash, can u tak them all to yr grave?

too much of anything is bad. the best thing is always the taichi way. maintain a balance. it's a simple theory but do u follow???

reservist is over

time flies when u r enjoying. my time of sleeping and eating in my reservist camp is over. work shall commence on mon. one grey area on my schedule pertains to my tm training. am i supposed to go for an interview? if i am supposed to, when is my interview??

looks like i have to make a stand in office soon....

the meaning of investment

yesterday after work,i proceed to meet karen at bugis junction for dinner. we ate at sakae sushi before leave for our next destination at shaw tower. we met up with a financial manager by the name of anthony. anthony is a guy of great personality, the type which sounds like me in life's philosophy which is to create anything with yr own hand.

i thought i knew something abt investment till i met him. going to have a 2nd section with him soon. by then, i hope to learn more. three level of financial planning, wealth protection, wealth accumulation/management and wealth distribution/preservation. rule of 72 in investment, five principles of investment and the 80/20 rule.

poor dear dear, she was so sick that she slept early last night. she have to rush for submission today. hopefully, everything is fine with her..

tml's wld be my assessment for my reservist. after days of mediation. it is time to come forth and prove my worth as a technician. who care anyway, i am not cognitively structured to work on tanks. i am more inclined towads figures and number

weekend

reservist is fun! becoz it enables us to reach a higher state of mediation while running our cognitive state to another level. the good thing abt reservist is to get both weekend off which is normal for office hour working personel. for me, it is godsend!

needless to say, spend the whole day out with dear to look for something in marine square. we play a few game of arcade followed by dinner at new york new york. i strongly recommend their bbq spark rib which is BBQ to perfection. heavenly is the word to describe. a good soccer match follows at a pub and the finale is tv watching of resident evil 2. conclusion for the movie is there's little linkage between part 2 and 3. for example, where is the other stunning looking gal that fought hand in hand with alice in part 3? and at the end of part 2, alice seem to be controlled by the umbrella corp. how did she shake off the control? anyway, such mystery are insignicant to most audience as long as the fighting is there...

now....back to WOW

surprise!!!!!!!!!

last friday,dear created an surpirse for me.she came up my home and ask me to wear dome nice clothes and ask elaine and jeff to standby jeff's vehicle near my home. his car was covered in bday wrapping paper with some balloon inside.

was happy that she took time to do up this for me......after which we went swedesen for supper or for her dinner.thanks dear!!!!!

and happy bday to me,happy bday to me :)

hot weather

last night was humid! i was unable to sleep well and arise a few times needlessly. naturally, i felt sleepy during the 1st part of my day. in the noon time, i went token delivery again due to service recovery.

just a thought which flash past my mind, when we r young, we r full of energy. this is the time where we commit all kind of mistakes due to the boundless energy we had from within. as we matures, we used the experience we obtain to make decision. if we fear making mistake, we nv gain valuable experience in decision making. however, as singaporean r rather spolit during my generation, it became inevitable that we r lazy or restless most of the time.
due to this phenomenon, is there any possiblity that the wealth created by the previous generation is laid waste during our time?

hopefully,we wld not be a victim of our parents' success..

my off day

went to meet huiyun and ruth for lunch today at their workplace in shenton way. as usual,amoy food market has the tissue chopping policy which denotes the 3rd world behaviour singaporean have despite trying to be 1st class. anyway, the teochew porridge is vv good. the ingredient used carefully choosen before they r cooked to perfection.

after lunch, head home to help mum to check her cpf contribution for her work. it sounded kind of confusing hence i decided to pass her the information and ask her to find out more from CPF.upcoming event for the week is my reservist. have enough of bday celebrating this year so i am going to put that on hold 1st. celebrating bday had been a pain this year. ever since i graduated, i was unable to organise a proper outing with my friends and i am always short of funds. though i know where the reasons lies, some things is better left unsaid than said..

time wait for no one yet it is critical to use time for judgement purposes to determine whether cause and effect occur due to internal dispositon or whether it is due to external circumstances. however, i always believe that despite worsening enviromental effects that cld possibly lead to limited choice,we always have our own cogition to rely on. whether to sulk like a spolit kid or to appreciate what u have currently. it's always due to mindset.

be it the devil or god, everything material can be taken away from u. but determination and a positive mindset is something no one can touch it.we leave by the choice we make. not by the circumstances we r in. to defy fate or to go along with it? it a matter of choice.

major event coming up for the next few mth is my reservist and TM training. i need more strength to last me through office politic. for the next three weeks, something major wld happen. another public self shall imerge from within. something different.........

it's official!!

i received my result notification from RELC. this implies that my real is not in error!!
hooray!!!!now heading towards the career planning part of my life.
shall plan and unleash my new five year plan soon

judgement day is over

i am estatic to declare that i am the proud holder of a 2nd upper degree in banking and finance management from UOL. and i did it as a part time student. it's a life time achievement for me.however, good news are being even out by bad news. i fared badly when i went to discuss about harvesting grape with a potential employer. didnt sound confident enough. praying hard.

ppl of my age is flying and yet,i am still walking. i have a lot of follow up to do. right now,i have to instill an mindset inside me. nv to rely on others. even in times of trouble, trust only yrself. i want to start flying again. give me the strength to fly beyond my limit!!!!!!!

let's do this again...hora hora!!!!!!!!!!!! burrnning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

delay of THE DAY

waiting at home for judgement day.three things happen at the same time for today....alvin ah alvin....ensure it through....take control of yr EQ..

right now,u r in mada mada dane stage...strike forth and go onwards. no one will pity u if u failed...do yr best!!!!!!!!!!!! hora hora!!!!!!!!1

THE day

tml is the ill-fated day. not since the release of my PSLE result,have i ever been so afraid before. there's two potential module which i cld fail and every failed module wld bring my degree status down by one grade.....

if the worst happen, i cld end up with a 3rd class!!!!

right now,i can only pray and say hora hora!!!!!

generation pass...time flow

i was i the life just now and i overheard this little gal talking to her mother.
my definition of little was below three. for someone her age, she speaks v fluent english. i was thinking abt myself,and my future,20 years down the road,do i want to be completing with the next generation for a job? or shd i continously seek improvement so that with the wealth of experience i had in my line plus my qualification, i wld not lose out.

i do not want to be in a post which can be held my someone 20 years younger than me. looking at what contact center is right now,this is what exactly is happening. same post but there can be a age gap of 20 years.

to earn $10000 five years down the road, or to stop at $3000 with groundnut pay incredment.
the decision is mine to make....time flow....generation pass, i do not wish to lose out....

time flies

when i turn 20,i rem a friend quoted me a line:"Alvin,frm now onwards,time wld fly." it's true. seven years gone in a flash. and i felt that i have not achieve much yet as a person.besides aging, things r pretty much the same. in my customer service job,wrking shift work everyday....this is not me manz. need to change the flow of energy...

sometimes,ppl prefers to accept good things and disregard away reality only to realise that they have to face it at the end of the day. i think the term is called self-fufilling prophecy?time flies...another three mth gone and my result wld be out soon. i wonder what is the reality for me.

tireding

aiyo...my hair medicine is really costing me a lot of money.
but some money have to spend onez.
broke my glasses again on a trip to DBO...
trying to make that the last time this happen...
trying to focus now more on internal development for the future....

new beginning

finally, i think the after exam effect is over after 10 weeks. the tension has been there since i completed my exam in june and tried to look for new jobs. learn something new: if we dont slow down in our life and instead, if we decided to rush things through,u might not get to enjoy life.we chase for career advancement,higher pay increment yet ended up being slave to our job and money. most of the time,we forgot the reason of our existence. do we wrk for the sake of money?or is it becoz there's some other reason that we wrk? what is the purpose of having more money? other than to show off to ppl yr earning ability?

result is only impt in the society. in life, the journey cld sometimes be more impt than the end result. just as the famous guiiness advertisement always says:"in life,the most impt thing is to be true to yrself."

at the end of the day,when u chase for those dreams,be it a better career or a good earning job,stop and ask yrself:"r u still the person u think u r?" if u think u still know who u r? congraluation!!!!!if u dont know who u r, then start to retract back yr life again.

the scary part is...having a false sense of self without the ability to determine which is which. i have ask myself. who am i....

have u???

patience

it appears that the job line i want to enter requires experience. without enough proof that i am experience in investment and treasury product, it's rather challenging for me to obtain a post in the treasury or investment department. i have decided to upgrade myself and observe the market trend in the treasury and investment market 1st.

afer all,aftermy exam which is like 8 weeks ago, my health has not been good. furthermore, i have been studying too hard for the past two years. even if i am enlisted in for an interview,i wont be able to display my strength and weakness in the areas of my expertise.

there's still a lot for me to learn,so until march next year,i shall observe 1st

job job job

this few days have been busy looking for new opportunites.preferrly in the investment banking and treasury department sector.may the force be with me for looking in new opportunties

boring weekend

i will spend the entire night tonight to write on my resume to know what to include and what not to include.boring boring...but what to do??i have graduated.the next part of my career have started while two of my uol friends have found jobs already. i shdnt lack behind too much isnt it?

tml dear wld be coming over to watch animation with me.after that,we will just enjoy a simple dinner somewhere before concluding the day:)

the orange story

one day, u decide to take on the job to harvest orange. the company is paying u 151 orange per mth as basic. u wrk there for three years and yr pay went up to 175 orange. however, this is because the orange company u r wrking for has cut yr year end bonus frm two to one mth with the remaining one mth generalise into yr basic pay. this implies that for the last three years, yr oranges increment is only around 40 orange.

along the way, u earn a degree that learns a new technique which improve yr effiency of harvesting oranges. as u r loyal to the company,u check with yr company to see if they wld give u a pay increment for the new degree u earn. to yr surprise,they will only review at year end when yr performance is good. however,graduate with little or lesser orange harvesting experience is coming in to command a basic of 220 to 250 oranges. even those with the same qualification of yrs is earning 180 oranges!!

right now with the nation to serve in oct,u r pondering on the idea to quit as u fell that u can earn more oranges outside....so the question is...do u wait until the oranges bonus payout in march before u switch or do u switch now and lose oranges worth 40-50 less?????????????
u have to take into consideration that other oranges harvesting company might not be willing to train someone who is going on national duty soon....

life after UOL

after four weeks of interrupted rest,life goes on. the only questions that is in my mind is...where wld i be five years down the road???have u ask yrself this questions??

it's over

it's all over.finally,after two years of hard work. although the results aint that great,but it's the best i can give.i can only say that i need to wrk harder for my future...

final countdown - day 19

today's exam brings some flashback. i have to go back to sep last year when i decide to enter into a new relationship. from then,i am effectively fighting on three front. my schoolwork,my studies and job. i thought i cld handle it until today when i have a huge deviation of my result again. this time, the result base is different from IM. although for IM, i lose 35 marks because i didnt know how to do, at least i can roughly calculate how many marks i get. as for MA today,i have totally no idea what is going on. i can do the sums. i approximately wasted 15-20 marks due to lack of practice and i was slow. aside from the variance analysis question,i did a theory which i manage to write something out of logic. yet for another 25 marks,it's either my logical explanation is correct or i wld get the whole sum worth of 25 marks totally wrong. it's this bad, i took allocated fixed cost as irrelevant expense in making the decision.if that question is wrong,i might even fail.that's how bad.

at the same time,it's a 25 marks questions.if the ficed cost is relevant,then the questions wld not be worth 25 marks.anyway,something change in me after this exam. most likely,my 2nd upper is gone too. if the worst scenario occurs,i might even get 3rd class.i can only believe in myself and the last paper that i am taking.this is what i am lacking in my whole life. total self-belief that shd be kept in my mind all the time.a self-belief that is so imbule in me that no one can take it away from me....not even GOD.i really have to start walking my own path now.

at least for now,i can start by believing that a miracle wld happen.marks wld be moderated and i still have that slight chance of aiming for 2nd upper. after all,u never know....u never know how the results wld be until it comes out. and as long as i dont failed my IM and MA,i can confidentally day that i have a 2nd lower. now,what i need to do on sunday to friday is to plan a fantastic ending for my SIM degree. i can secured a happy ending by scoring the highest marks possible for FI. once again,let's organise the cognition structure into a cohert unit and start to plan my way to victory

after next fri,it's a mindset that will bring me to a higher level. at all cost!!!!!!!!!!

final countdown - day 18

next econter is management accounting. one of the most tricky paper. the trickness lies in the many ways they can put the questions to u. once u have the concept wrong or once u started on the wrong foot,everything is gone.

my standing right now is no more 1st class honour liao,there's a fluctuation between 2nd upper and 3rd class depending how well i fared for my IM which MIA-ness says it's unlikely i wld fail. yes,i think so too. but whenever i look at my results for POA and MSM last year,it always makes me wonder how i failed to get As for those two subjects.

one thing is clear,if i'm too negative now,i will surely end up with 3rd class. so i will try my best and hope for the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!mada mada dane

final countdown - day 17

it's a total victory. what comes out is what i study but section A of ESAP is damn difficult. the topic r familiar but there's little i can write.anyway,u cant expect a degree exam to be 100% easy.the next topic wld be no easy cow. MA,doubt a cunning fox. once u started off wrongly,u r bound to fail....and very badly is what i mean!!!

now,let us organise our cognition into a coherent unit. let's not stereotype MA and ESAP. if not,we wld be prejudice against the very subject which wld end up in a self-serving bias. hence,the castrophoic effect wld be a 33.5 scoreline.

may the force be with me....madamada dane....

final countdown - day 16

here we go.tml is esap...what shd i say??i sincerely hope prejudice will come out...not much more to add...

final countdown - day 15

another five topic of ESAP gone. but the more i study,the more i feel that the questions can come frm anywhere!!!!half of the study period gone,another half more to go.mada mada...

final countdown - day 14

managed to complete five lectures of esap today. looks like my form is getting better by isolating some negativity factors...jia you!!onwards and march!!

final countdown - day 12 and 13

why cant i have the opportunity to study in peace????????????????????
is this fate standing in my way again?????????????
why mus my off day be full of unhappiness???????????????????????
THIS IS TOTALLY RIDICUOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still....life goes on....if u wan to bear mango fruit,u mus plant mango seeds. dont try to plant apple seeds and pray that durian grows out of it. god wont help me...i have to help myself...let me grow my mango fruit.....i cant already lost my durian fruit....though i like apple....but i want the best in my studies......no one can help me now....i want peace, not given...the only way is for me to isolate my heart totally.........it's now or never.................

final countdown - day 11

have not been updating my blog for quite some time. the next two papers that's coming up is coming in close promity. ESAP and MA. ESAP is all about memorising the theory and the tricky one wld be MA. oh lord...praying hard....

final countdown - day 8:total diseaster

studied for six days but i end up losing 35 marks becoz i cant do those questions at all. this is a total disaster.nv have i face up with such unpredictable stuff.what shd be theory became practical and what is practical became theory. how to do like that?????

anyway,life move on....

final countdown - day 7-first encounter

target for tml is to defeat IM.
IM love to use EQUITY to PUZZLE ppl.
tried to balance his attack and defense using call-put parity
just when u thought u r about to win,he will strike u with a kyle strike and attempt to finish u off with a volatility hedge.

each attack by IM can be measued on scales like sharpe,treynor,jensen,information or m2. historically,IM can cirumvent the rules of engagement by striking u where it hurt most - which is at MATURITY. His MOMENTUM is good with no lack of concentrate hence we can say that it is EFFICIENT.

the best way to fight IM is to wear him down using BASAK AND SHAPIRO THEORY. if IM loses concentration,use a concentration of POISON PILL to attack it!!with patient, IM can be defeated. may the best man win.....

final countdown - day 6

all topic research...now left with the memorising work and prediction of what will come out.mirror mirror on the wall....what r the questions on the floor?

..............yes............yes........
i saw equity puzzle........call-put parity........that's for now...

meeting dear for dinner later.

final countdown - day 5

today is off day. i did not study. i went off in the morning to fetch dear at boon lay (yes!that's how far she leave). we went for a movie which was downright hilarious. it's called blade of glory where it portray two men skating together in a double competition.after that,we went off to queenway shopping centre to look for my running shoes. after two hour of searching,i bought a new version of magic racer at $126. it's considered cheap when u take into account that my last pair lasted me abt four years.

after i'm done shopping, went to ikea to look for concept on dear's work and dinner is at ikea. ppl,u got to try their swedish meat ball. it's fantastic!!their chicken wing is fried to perfection too!send her home around 7plus and i went to POPULAR to buy a new calculator. it's frustrating that we can only used the basic calculator where there's no cube root function at all. of god..praying hard that i do not have to use those advance function. last tue,there's an error pertaining to the exam paper for UOL. and now,they r limiting us to very basic function calculator. i will not be surprise if things went wrong again and they gave us problems to do that required function like cube root etc etc...

it's easy for them to say they will moderate the results if things goes wrong. however, the students wld always be the victims because how they r graded is beyond their control and they will never have any means to find out if the moderation is done fairly...praying vvvv hard....

final countdown - day 4

topic 5 and 6 done....two more to go....sigh.......

final countdown - day 3

done with topic 3 and 5 for IM. only left with four more topic for revision before i analyst the tactical aspect of how to approach the questions. didnt rest alot. only slept ard 6.5 hours or less?anyway,looking forwards to sat becoz i declared that day as my rest day(yeah!). gonna rest a while beofre deciding on what to eat

final countdown - day 2

just finish doing "site visit" with dear dear. the definition of site visit is to take some picture of some spot of imaginery land and imagine that the building on top is demolish and u have the land to build what u need. that's my perception which is of coz entirely wrong.

back to the main theme. i am dont with IM topic one and roughly knew what will come out in the topic. in an hour time,i will complete topic two.mada mada dane

final countdown - day 1

finally,two years of pain. it's one mth till the day i graduate. to me,this degree is more than just a paper.it is a bridge to my next step in life. the 1st battle fought wld be against investment management,followed by ESAP,MA and to round off on the 8th of june with FI.i have completed most of the studies except for some tactical adjustment towards the questions to attempt,how to write four questions within 170minutes.

for those final year studies,jia you and as for me....mada mada dane

negatvity/positivity

sometimes,what u think is really what u get. too much negativity wld prevent u from thinking on the right track.and it's always better to reply on oneself to obtain success.self-reliant,self-independant. and to give more and expect nothing. if not,dont give at all......

lesson learn today

when u r studying..turn that freaking hp off.i took 2.5 hour to finish a tutorial question that is supposely to be done in 45 min time. reason?when u lose yr concentration and try to get it back,the recovery time is almost 2.5 times.hence,the loss in time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

may the force be with me

damn it, my c****** tries to take back the fodd i have eaten by asking me to vomit out. as a result,i am running low on my leave.have to take additional precaution to find time to study...
may the spirit of the game master be with me.....to overcome all adversity in life. to bring my cognition level to higher ground and match my attitude with my behavior.in making a judgement, may i be analytical enough not to create FAT and to be able to create a impression that i am doing my job well....the last lap leading to my final exam!!

slowly gaining momentum

manage to complete 6 hour of studies during my sick leave. i am slowly hitting back the peask.now,i yearn for consistency in my reading and analytical ability. so much time have been spend in achieving an equilibrium state of mind and body. i seriously do not wish to waste what i have achieve as at this point of time.four more mth before the end of this chapter of my life.onward and march!!!

operational xeno success

finally, i can officially declared that i am debt free!!after making the last $2000 owe to mum, i am free!!no debt obiligation!!! now the final battle begins,for one last shot at my 1st class degree. no matter what happen,no matter how fate stand in my way,i will break through all obstacle to achieve my goals!!!

operational xeno:1 days

nowadays,there's nothing much to blog abt.my life is pretty much concentrated abt studying and wrking.i do understand why i am choosing this path.that's becoz i want to have a better future..

operational xeno:2 days

never take things for granted!!!!this morning when i arise from my clumber,my gastric was gone!! i tested it with some fried food and it re-enter right at this moment!!!what is the morale of the story?dont test the system too much.while it does not tear down immediately,it will sonner or later if u cont to test it!

this is testing time for me. not a time where i shd be testing the patience of my own health!

operational xeno:3 days

my day is smooth.how abt yrs?to some ppl,their day is always not smooth,not according to plans.does that means having everything flowing smoothly is the utimate aim?well,it depends....if u view success as doing things repeatly till it goes smoothly,then yr life might be boring becoz u do not dare to step out of yr inner circle and u r unable to face the challenges in life.

my point is having those bump in life in neccesary.so that we,as human will not have the tendency to lean towards lazyness.darkness is there so that we know what light looks like.turn on the switch in yr heart and everything that looks dull wld have brighten up.the problem is knowing the way to find the switch and not get lost into illusion darkness.have u found yr switch in life??

operational xeno:4days

suffered from ex-ante cny sympton.gastric and pain in the abominal area came back. went to see a doc. when i notified my tm,she told me that i am not the only one suffering frm sickness.there's many other including tms.took this opportunity to rest and read up some IM material. since my PSLE days,this is the very 1st time that fear came into me pertaining to failure in the subject. i seriously need to ensure my belief in the path in have choosen. the notes sticked deep into the office deak state:"if u think u cannot do it,dun try. is u think u can do it,then try yr best!!!" the result slip that i got last year gave me an clear indication that i need to put in total nirvaus effort if i am to achieve BEF result where BEF stands for brillant!excellant!!fantastictu!!!!

operational xeno:5 days

officially,the cny is over with all the eating,drinking and gambling. what's next wld be the intensive period of studying,understanding and practising. the period where i am the most relax and at the same time is the period where i am the most stressed up. the difference between this year and last year is when i had a two weeks break in march due to my chicken pox...but this time,i cant afford this luxury............................................................


the more i think abt it. the more stress i feel...
life have such contradicting differences sometimes...we aim high yet stress harder....
we love hard yet hate harder...
we work hard yet...yearn for more than what we earn.....

eeeee............the cogitive structure is breaking down...it's seemly impossible to achieve what i need within the next five days.......

such contradiction is the very impossiblity i need to achieve is usually achievable within that one clear line...to me, that is the differences between victory and defeat.....

ywanz........cny is over..back to the mountain of queue calls everyday....only thing to look forward to is......................breaking down...cant really think sometimes...who wld understand???

i always tell myself there's only five more .....no.....make that four more mths to go
and at the end of the day....i ask myself the same old question:"which is.....Alvin,do u regret the path u have choosen?" and usually or shall i say most of the time,the answer is obvious.the answer is very very clear right in my heart....just four more mth...and it will be over...

think positively....the breaking down of the cognitive process shall not occur....

operational xeno:6 days

wrk and went pai nian today. dad was so irritating.called me four times on the phone even though i tried to indicate that i am busy by rejecting the call.went over to my grand-aunt's house before heading towards desr's friend home. had a good game of majong before ending the day by typing my blog here.........

operational xeno:7days

today is the 1st day of chinese new year. it's quite tireding as i went two places but it's worth it coz my dear is with me...tml wrking....sleeping le.......

operational xeno:8-9days

taking this chance to wish everyone a wonder chinese new year ahead. blessing with a wealth of healthy body clear of all sickness. once the body is fine, the rest like friendship,work or wealth will come unless of coz u r one of those who take things for granted.

things come for a reason and leave for a reason too. the clothes u buy for chinese new year, the cny goodies u eat and the ang bao u get often comes with a price or a reason. in this upcoming new year, i urge everyone to take some time to reflect on the above-mention item.where it comes from?who bought it?is there any significant meaning for the person who bought those above mention things or who give those stuff?think it through,u might find that even for little things like cny goodies,u might not be appreciating them becoz we might have taken them for granted. if u have done so,cny wldnt be fun anymore becoz u start to treat it like a yearly process instead of really living the cny spirit. it depends on how u look at things. cny cld be a yearly affair where u meet up with yr seldom met up relative for the sake of it OR u cld say it's a way u share with yr relative what u have done for the past one year,do some catching up or even give each other a few words of encouragement.

last but not least,rem to say thanks to the person who cook up the meal in this festive season. or shalli ask u all to think through this question: when was the last time u praise someone who dish out a good meal? :)

operational xeno:10-11 days

yesterday managed to go out celebrating valentine day with dear. bought her flowers and we went to watch JUST FOLLOW LAW. as usual,it contain an educational msg at the end of the show filled with hilarous jokes.

in a relationship,there's always ups and downs. the survival point for a relationship to be strong is to love each other,appreciate each other's effort and nv take one another for granted. the relationship would be nearing an end when the couples cannot stand the sight of each other and wld argue at the slightest chance...that where the word compromises comes into play...

but...who wld take the 1st step off and call a truce in an arguement??before things reaches the point of no return..i need to hit the book...soon...my ans lies there...

operational xeno:12 days

this few days has been quite routine..wrk,jog,study followed by rest. the consistency is there which is good. just wondering,why r there ppl who can concentrate for long period of time where there's ppl whose concentraion time span is short?is it due to human nature where ppl says that we r lazy by nature?or is it just the cognitive structure not tuning towards positivity?

everything that happen always happen for a reason,be it temper,concentration,character...we r what we r becoz of what we do. no use blaming others as utimately,we determined out own predictment...for me,it felt so good to be able to jog,play game and concentrate again..

operational xeno:13 days

another 6 km completed....but,this year's ba qua tasted....not so nice as in the past. am i growing up???am i changing once again??time to re-focus my energy...

operational xeno:14 days

three days of 6 km in this week. leg aching le...yawnz...
yesterday's buy was two pants,one jean and one top. it might seen a little unbalanced but this year's dresscode is office and formal wear..all things r bought at queenway shopping center.seem like the place i wld go for my future shopping needs:)

operational xeno:15-16days

the study plan towards the fnial exam wld be:

1.1st reading
2.understanding plus practice
3.tactical adjustment

i have completed my 1st reading for MA,left with IM,FI and ESAP. ESAP is no doubt the subject wth the most reading to do. after i had a glapse of the basic concept. i will do up the past year exam questions for depper understanding. finally,when the exam is at a nearer date,there's a need for tactical adjustment depending on how much i can memorise...

today i have to finish up my CNY shopping. my plan is clear: if i am unable to buy up all my office wear within today,i'm focusing all my resources towards CNY clothing as priority. in order to hedge against price increase,i will forward my next shopping period to the mid year sales after my exam.

just one comment,i am uable to adjust towards the way the IM lecturer style of teaching. for full time student...yes,they have all the time to do the readings and practice.however,we are part time student.we need to have the basic sets of notes ready instead of inserting a little here and there. it's totally a diseaster trying to organise my notes...anyway,i need to emphasise this during the next feedback section.

operational xeno:17days

legs went numpy after yesterday's 6 km jog. just barely recovered.
gonna study later.have to ensure i have enough study hour so that i wld enjoy my shopping outing this coming sat

operational xeno:18-19 days

2nd day jogging 6km. the feeling is good.after every jog,my mind is filled with many mature thoughts. it has added another dismension to my 5 year plan after graduation. at the age of 27,i am considered young. i shd be learning as much as possible. the sayings never fall:knowledge is power. if u have enough knowledge and with the right attitude,there's no fear that u cannot find a job.the days r shortening....my graduation is near....my wakening...is about to be completed...

operational xeno:20-22 days

this year's cny clothing seem to be taking a downturn in design.it's almost the same in every guy's clothing shop.i went to bugis village,far east and ended up with only one buy at $69.00 which is a domacho top.it's quite stylist and i like it every much. my theme for this year is office wear with tops that can go along well with jeans. rationale is after i graduate this coming june,i am gg to xxxx with my current xxx. my c####r has a high probablity in an o****e line wearing office wear. furthermore......to be continue....the princess called :)

operational xeno:24-23 days

things have pretty much stablised for my relationship. as for studies, it's irony that i dont pay much attention in classes BUT i have studied more by my own. for example:last year i didnt study any subject guide or textbook in any of my modules. but this year,i have covered three subject guide and have three textbooks to read up on. after planning my exam schedule well ahead,it's really up to me to study. the passion must be there after the priority is established. topics that i fear this year is FI,IM and ESAP. with the exception of MA,the other three topic needs a lot of memory work which happen to be a weakness of mine in the past.giving up is not an option as at the end of the day,i always ask myself this question:"Alvin,do u regret the path u have choosen?" usually,the answer is an obvious NO. i choose my destiny,i determined by own fate and at the end of the day,i run my own life with honour.

operational xeno:25 days

the mind and heart doesnt wrk together at the same time. we called this cognitive dissonance. due to disagreement between heart and mind,the mind might wrk slower...that's what happening to me now.i tend to be affected by negative comment easily nowadays...but it's time to move on....

operational xeno:26 days

i woke up late today as the alarm clock stop at the time i am supposed to wake up. this usually occurs like once in three years indicating a need to change the battery which i just did.my fabuous achievement today:

1.cancel the leave which i do not need
2.plan up my eREV which have a sucky package BUT i have to customise it to my likings
3.apply for four days leave to cover my eREV where there's one week which i wld have 5 full day UOL revision whereby each day starts from 10 and end at 5.
4.managed to carry forward 7 days of leave so that i have 23 days of AL/FL to use for this year exam
5.ask for access to go into eREV so that i can print out a copy for myself

i have plan my OIL,FL,AL,EL in such a way that even after my exam,i wld still have 10 days of AL spared. this is after taking four days of AL for IM,a module which do not have the exam date.

hoping not to repeat the mistake of last year...right now,i have everything plan out..the best sword,the best shield,impeccable armour,need to ensure my passion for studies is stronger than last year.one last final stretch!!!!

operational xeno:27 days

even after reservice,i felt abit weird taking calls. it seems to tell me that my cso days is almost expired.looks like i might need to try new work perpective soon. BUT WAIT......studies and dear dear comes 1st...endure for another three or four more mth....

operational xeno:28 days

in life,we were all given a sword.it's called double edge sword,how u used it wld depend on the situation and the attitude that u instill into it.for example,showing concern towards others shows that u care.in this scenario,u instill positive attitude to care for others.however,if u instill negative thoughts into the double edge sword,it becomes over concern and it cld have two effect. 1.the person u r caring for becomes unexposure to the real world and he/she might not be able to handle daily issue in life. 2.u become over-protective leading others to have an impresstion that u do not trust them.or even worse,ppl might be irritated by yr action

in life,we r given a shield to block off the blow of the double edge sword.it's called the opportunitistic shield. what happen in life always bring abt cause and effect.for example,u used this "$1" to buy three apple.the $1 is already used up hence u r unable to use the same $1 to buy other things.hence,opportunity cost of buying the three apple is to forgo other purchases unless u have another $1. putting the opportunistic shield into greater use. every adverse situation bound to have a matching solution to it.it's really up to us to use both shield and sword to find the best mix in our life.and this is life.

operational xeno:29days

cant concentrate on lecture for the past two days...my energy is abt to be drain to be maximum...
and to think that energy is wasted on unneccessary things...
totally fed up...............

operational xeno:35-30 days

didnt update my blog for the last few days becoz i was out field.to summarise,res***** is a waste of time. a**** is a waste of tax payer money for their inefficiency

operational xeno:36 days

had not been sleeping well for the last few days.today not enough sleep too...this ICT plus my studies is killing me.i guess my strength have to prevail...

operational xeno:37 days

i have been sick today. back strain and neck strain most probably cause by the army...
i realise why time is so short for me. i have difficulty in concentratin. hence, time always fly by for me. if u concentrate,time wld somehow slow down and there's more room for structured cognition.....

tml have to stay incamp due to IPPT which i have already pass.
they say it's army directive but i say it's bullshit....
i have already PASS!!!!PASS!!!!!what for take again??
but then again,i have been training for running so it makes no differences whether i am running incamp or during my free time

operational xeno:38 days

the 1st three days of..... has a standard schedule like:

8.00am:attendance marking
8.00am-8.45am - waiting for time to pass
8.45am - 9.10am -lesson time
910am-920am - smoking break frag till 930am
930am-10am - tea break which drag till 1020am
1020am-1115am - lesson
1115am-1pm - lunch break which drag till 130pm
130-215pm - lesson
215-3pm - teabreak which drag till 330pm
330-430pm - lesson
430pm-5pm - waiting to go hme

and at 5pm,go hme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant say what scedule is this as it is confidential

operational xeno:39 days

there r some things in life that r meant to be forgotten.
some things in life that r meant to be forgiven.
but what u can forgive,u might not forget.
likewise,what u might have forget,u might not forgive.

of course,the ideal situation is always to forgive,forget and move on...
but as we r human,we dont try to be GOD...
furthermore, if we forgive too easily,ppl tends to think u r too soft-hearted and start taking u for granted..
and if u forget too easily,u never learn the lessons u r supposed to learn from yr mistake...

i have learn that the hard way...it's true...in real life,if u r sick,most of the time,no one gives u sympathy.....five days with flu and still counting...

operational xeno:40-42days

was sick during this reservist period...damn cold.....damn flu.....
will type what i went through during reservist when i have more strength

operational xeno:43 days

nothing to type today.other then my reservice starts tml!!!!
training to be soldier...
fight for our ass....

operational xeno:44 days

started the training on golden unspolit body...quite tough. i think my sugar level is too high liao. ate too much sweet in school. they were supposed to be sugar free expensive sweet but my body is feeling tired...ohhh...the stress is finally getting to me....all four in one....

1.wrk:my time as a cso is up.i have lost my patience instead of gaining more understanding
2.studies:exam is nearing
3.family: with ppl who is getting his pay cut soon but still drinking...time for me to cut off all bad habit of the past generation
4.relationship:somehow stablised....

come on xeno....u choose the path didnt u??rem...the force is with u and...
watashi wa.....L...

operational xeno:45 days

what a day....i cant believe that there's educated ppl who simply demand to have service at their feet. they simply cannot understand what is alternative and insist their way. i'm proud (yes!) proud that i debate with them. this kind of ppl r ppl we shd not be giving face to...

anyway,had a long talk with dear abt issue in life. i'm glad that we can clear out and set our expectation right....

a new week,a new beginning....
watashi wa...(rubbing feet)... L...

operational xeno:46 days

i wonder when will the wake up call comes when the younger generation of singaporean stop taking things for granted?this is totally ridicuous.anyway.let's skip that topic.i went SIM today to settle my school fee.i'm now down to my very last cent.if not due to some very bad investment of $3k in the past,i wont be in this state....

operational xeno:47 days

tml pay school fee liao...gonna be poor liao....

anyway,the lecturer's note for IM is very disorganise.why cant she give out the whole stack instead of one by one??she mus understand that she's teaching part timer and not full timer. we do not have the luxury of time like full timer do.when the annual feedback come,i'm sure to feedback

operational xeno:48 days

nothing much to type:just something that happen near to hme have an impact on my life. the johor flood.i am wondering how prosperity in singapore has bought abt another side of the younger generation. ths part where security is taken for granted,integrity is considered old fashion and courtesy is of the past. this time i am talking abt food.we always see ppl ordering more than what they can eat and ended up wasting food. just across the causeway,we have ppl wondering if there will be a next day for them. the very basic need of survival seem to be a huge worry where in singapore,the worries that the younger generation have to the diability to get the latest hp,the lastest fashion etc etc....

as in the twin tower incident in US in 2001,i wonder.........nah,let's not get negative thought across.all i can say is if things are taken for granted. it's only a matter of time before it is gone.this is reality.......

operational xeno:49 days

did four hours of studies on IM,the part on portfolio immunisation. didnt manage to read on the text as i was trying to help dear do up her project wrk. dear seem kind of stress up so after that,we went for a movie at JP and here am i typing my day.

lessons resumes this week and my off is on sat. it's time to plan on my studying needs as i am going for reservist next week.planning planning planning.

he who fail to plan, plan to failed
he who succeed in planning failed himself if he does not implement the plans

operational xeno:50 days

went over to dear's place to accompany her to finish up her project wrk. sometimes,it's not neccessary to do something together but rather or so...to enjoy each other company. tml gg over again to study.before that,we wld be gg over some famous nasi lemak store in boon lay for breakfast. yum yum

operational xeno:51 days

i'm 27!!!!!when i started at ctc center,i'm 23!!how time flies....there's no resolution to make this year.other than to find fate with more determination and to gain more energy level for studies purposes. hence, i need to step up on my weight losing programme,especially on the tummy area..once again,to always believe in myself in everything i do and nv take things for granted.