YESSS.... The torture of O levels are finally over. No more studying. But....
I found life after Os to be rather hmmm... sedate?
There's nothing to drive me on, I feel rather slack and unmotivated. Suddenly, I feel a strange emptiness that I have never felt in a long long time. Perhaps work has indeed been integrated into my life so much.
Growing up physically is easy. Nature takes care of all of that.
Growing up mentally is tough. Nature does not take care of all of that. I've tried to enjoy myself after Os but enjoying turns out to be more difficult than I thought. My mom doesn't allow me to go out, and I fully understand why. Prioritizing is easy, but to ensure this prioritizing does not affect the people around you is very tough. Like...
I want to go bowling, or playing pool, as it is an enjoyment after Os, but I know this decision will upset my mom, who wants me to do some more clearing up. Its just gets me torn up and being responsible is something that I'll have to get used to.
I want to be an obedient child and ease the burden of mom, but its rather difficult isn't it? In the process, I'm trying to be as independent as possible, trying to lessen my reliance on my mom, but still its difficult. There are a lot of difficult things in life isn't it? I want to cook lunch or dinner on my own, but still in the end my mom does it. I do lack that self discipline eh?
Still the end of O levels have lifted off a huge burden off my shoulders. However, another challenge approaches and that is my diploma for piano next month.
My diploma cost me $918. Yes. $918 - A deterrence to anyone who wants to take diploma in a musical instrument. It is enormous pressure to do well, particularly because such a huge amount of money is at stake. I want to succeed. Currently, I'm not practising as much as I would have liked. Again, a lack of self-discipline. I have this peel on my thumb that prevents me from playing the fast pieces. It pains whenever I press a note using my thumb. What do I do? And my lesson is this sunday. Monday is class chalet, and I don't know whether I should stay for the full 3 day 2 nights. Shall I use some of the time to practice? Part of me says yes, part of me says no. Again, prioritizing. This prioritizing is going to drive me crazy. I think I'll come to a decision soon.
The class chalet is something I really look forward to. After the much vaunted graduation night, which turned out to be not as impressive as I thought it would be, I'm really looking foward to this one. I've never been to a chalet and I'm really wondering what it would be like.
Talking about graduation night, graduation night was a little disorganised. I think it was because of the seating arrangements. The seating arrangements, in my opinion, should have been fixed such that everyone is ensured a seat. The buffet was a little chaotic with people cutting queues and a never-ending long line. Luckily the festive mood wasn't destroyed. I loved the singers - They were GREAT, I loved how it all panned out - the games, the mass participations... Essentially, I salute the efforts of the student council to arrange an event of such a large scale. There are still more improvements to be made, but I don't regret coming for grad night at all. Thanks for the experience!!! =)
As I'm typing this, I'm still self-reflecting on my mixed-up priorities and my inability to put the interests of others ahead of me. I keep thinking: It'll come, It'll come. I do hope it does come.