First Day of School

The blessed day finally arrived.

First were Liesel and Ireland- my seasoned second and fourth graders who are too cool to be nervous about something like the first day of school.

I kid you not, when the bus driver opened the door, I very nearly burst into tears. I cried out, "I'm SO happy to see you!!!" She laughed heartily. She's a mom too. She gets me.

This year Ireland was very specific about what she wanted to wear to school and how she wanted me to do her hair. She put a lot of thought into it.

Her dozens of friends were thrilled to see her again after the long summer break.

The air was thick with excitement.

The next day it was Brigitta's turn. With a mid-August birthday, I really went the rounds about whether to put her in, or wait another year. I talked to Brent, her preschool teachers, the principal at the elementary school, friends, family, a couple of my young women (one who is the youngest in her class, one who was held back and is the oldest), their mothers, and even some complete strangers. Everyone gave me completely different advice.

For Brent, it was a no-brainer. Just put her in and it will be fine. But I really agonized over this decision. One mom made everything crystal clear for me. She said there is no 100% right answer and no matter what I did, at some point I would second guess it. I realized I was too intent on looking for the 100% right answer and in the end, decided to just go with my gut.

Brigitta started kindergarten. And until she graduates from high school I will be holding my breath wondering if that was the right thing to do.

Her sisters promised to look out for her which helped calm my nerves that first day.

This video makes me laugh. "I see it! Where is it?" She was so excited!

 The bus pulled away and the decision was done.

At long last, it was Sydney's turn to start her first year in preschool.

After a couple of weeks of seeing her sisters go off to their adventures in education, she was really eager for her turn.

For the first time in my career as a stay-at-home mom, I didn't have to find a babysitter so I could go with Sydney to those first couple of classes to help her acclimate. She's got some pretty fantastic teachers, and since she's now our third child at this preschool, these are familiar faces.

I'm entering a whole new era with all the kids in some sort of formal schooling. In some ways I can't believe it, in others, I've been anticipating this day for a looong time.

A Mother Heart

Something they don't tell you when you have kids is that even though they cut that umbilical cord at birth, an invisible connection is left in place. Sometimes the connections acts like an artery that carries a mother's love, strength and will to the child. Sometimes the connection acts like a vein and the feelings of the child flow right into the mother. You may not believe me, but I can attest the existence of this connection came home to me in a very real way today.

Liesel had a routine check up at the orthodontist- just a 15 min visit. Well, that's what they had told me, anyway. Turns out it was scheduled wrong and was going to take a while longer. She had to get some brackets removed and some new ones placed, which usually isn't a big deal, but the assistant really botched things up. I'm not sure how the assistant arrived at her career choice, but I'm certain she isn't happy with it. This is the second time we've been scheduled with her and she isn't shy about showing her irritation and impatience with Liesel when she won't hold perfectly still. I get the feeling she doesn't really like children. Or dealing with people in general. Or joy. Period.

I became keenly aware of that invisible connection- an artery at first- as Liesel stiffened and writhed in pain. The assistant wasn't interested in being gentle, just in getting the job done and Liesel has a really small mouth. I was seated near Liesel's feet so I rubbed her legs and told her she was almost done buffing off the old glue. Once the assistant nonchalantly said, "Actually, there's a lot more I need to do" and so help me I wanted to grab one of the sharp dental tools and drive it right into her thigh. I willed Liesel strength, my strength, that she would be able to get withstand it all. Through that artery I sent calm and a knowledge this was just temporary.

When it was time to attach the brackets, the doctor noted the assistant hadn't pulled the right ones. He stretched Liesel's cheek open with his dental mirror as the glue ran down her throat and the assistant fumbled in the back to find the right one. Fat tears spilled over her eyes in rivers and again, I willed her all that I had in me. We were almost there, almost done. I gave her a choice of a Jamba Juice or a frosty for lunch since it was clear she wouldn't be chomping down food any time soon. Finally the brackets were in place and she just needed the rubber bands. My artery was still flowing with peace, assurance, confidence.

The assistant pretty much mangled Liesel's mouth getting those damn rubber bands on- stretching her lips every which way while using pliers that just couldn't seem to get a hold of those tiny bands. I made a mental note to never, EVER let them schedule us with this woman again. The fat tears reappeared and I realized I, too, was stiffening, even as I used honeyed tones to soothe my girl. Finally, it was done.

Liesel jumped into my lap and that invisible connection abruptly switched from an artery to a vein. She curled up into a ball and just sobbed into my shoulder. Just past the blonde hair I was stroking, I saw the plastic pillow where her head had laid for the last 40 minutes, and it was covered in big, wet dots where her tears had fallen. Suddenly I wanted to sob too; in a very real way I felt her pain. My heart absolutely broke as my 9 year old cried in my arms. When we left, the assistant dryly mentioned the next appointment would be only 15 minutes, and again I wanted to stab her in the thigh with one of the dental instruments sitting on that little tray.

I told the receptionist to never schedule us with that assistant again. I took Liesel to Wendy's for her frosty and stopped by the house for some Tylenol before taking her back to school. By the time she headed off to class, she was perfectly fine but I was still indignant, heart-broken, and plain exhausted. That feeling stayed with me all day.

This connection I feel not just with Liesel, but with all my daughters, isn't always so negative. I've felt it when they work hard and succeed at something or when they face a fear and triumph. I feel their excitement on Christmas morning and their happiness on Fridays when we have pizza and family movie night. It's not a bad thing to have really. It's just that in this moment, the reality of this connection really hit home, and I simply couldn't deny it's existence.

In Luke 2:19 it reads, But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. A bit later in Luke 2:51 when they found Christ as a child in the temple astonishing the people with his understanding and answers it says, ...but his mother kept all these saying in her heart. It wasn't until today that I realize Luke was writing about that invisible connection. He was describing a mother heart. Now I get it!

We Tried Camping

As a parent, you want to give your children every advantage you missed out on, but for Brent and I, there were some "opportunities" we are ok if our kids end up not having. Camping is such an "opportunity." Neither of us feel the clarion call to be one with the outdoors for an extended period of time. This summer we really discovered our love for hiking, but camping is a whole different ball of wax. 

However, months ago Brigitta made the case that the family needed to go camping.

As mentioned in the video, our dear friends Annie and Jeremy are big-time campers and offered to outfit us if we went with them at Devil's Lake, Wisconsin. It's a good thing too, because we didn't even own sleeping bags! I can't remember why, but Brent and I were kind of at each other's throats and it was a loooong drive to Wisconsin. Annie and Jeremy left after we did and then were stuck for hours on the freeway due to a major accident. 

With some time on our hands, we decided to hike Parfrey's Glen, just outside Devil's Lake. Isn't this split rock cool?

Lots of huge boulders for the girls to scramble on.

There's been a lot of flooding in this area in recent years which have left behind some awesome rock formations.

I know it looks like we did nothing but sit around, but we really did hike!

Although sometimes one of us sat while other's hiked.

The small waterfalls were so pretty.

There was kind of a steep drop off just to the left and these tree roots grew right on top of the trail.

I love how these trees grow in rainbows.

I don't know what plant this is, but these leaves are so pretty!

Everyone's grumpiness melted away as we hiked and by the time we headed back to the car, we felt like a family again. We made a game of letting the girls get a 10 second head start down the trail and then seeing how long it took for Brent to catch up with them. It didn't take long. He's pretty sure-footed despite the uneven terrain. As he caught up to the girls (who were laughing endlessly), he'd grab one and toss her in the air. Pretty soon they were all clamoring for a turn. Brent can toss the girls pretty high and with no one around, the sky was literally the limit.

Sydney

Brigitta

Ireland

Liesel

Annie and Jeremy were still stuck in traffic so we headed to Broadway Diner for dinner. I was a little worried we were smelly from our hike but the staff and other diners could not have been more friendly. Since they were so good on the hike, we decided to let the girls have malts.

Yes I tasted some... okay, a lot. And they were fantastic!

There's something about the diner atmosphere.

Eventually, Annie and Jeremy made it to the campsite and we all hustled to get everything set up before we lost daylight. Brent chatted with Annie and Jeremy while I got the girls settled in the tent. Remember, sleeping in a tent was a big deal to Brigitta. I used the flashlight to make their heads on the opposite wall look small and then big, and the girls just giggled. I wanted to hold onto that moment forever. Everyone getting along, sharing a new experience together. Eventually, they all fell asleep.

The next morning, we had a delicious breakfast and headed over to the lake. Most of the trails around the lake are pretty difficult with steep drop offs and nothing along the lines of guard rails. There is a really lovely hike around the perimeter of the lake that is flat and picturesque, so we opted to do that one.

Sydney crossed the line of sin. 

We joined the masses and played at the lake for a while. Annie challenged me to a race but I was beached out. We'd been to beaches in Chicago, Oregon, California and now this one and I just couldn't do it.

The girls had a blast although they had some turf wars with a bunch of boys. While Annie and Jeremy headed back to camp for a nap, we took the girls to the nature center and then to a park in the camp grounds. The girls made a little friend there who was from Naperville. We had sloppy Joes for dinner and then broke camp. I took the girls for walks around the campground to keep them out of the way and then we headed home!

We had a great time with Annie and Jeremy and we really enjoyed our time at Devil's Lake. Like I said, they really spoiled us by bringing all the equipment and taking charge of the camping element of the trip. In the end, I don't want to invest the money it would take to acquire really good camping equipment. In warm weather, a tent kind of becomes an oven and we missed our comfy beds. Feeling downright grimy all the time got old fast- and our campsite had showers! It feels odd to sleep with strangers just yards away who can hear pretty much everything we are doing. I'm glad we gave it a shot, but I think we can safely say we are not quite a camping family. We are more of a stay-in-the-closest-Hampton-Inn-and-hike kind of a family.

At the very least, Brigitta got to sleep in a tent!

Goodbye to Summer

The one lesson learned from our end-of-summer activities last year is that the girls needed to bring their swimsuits. Days before we made our final foray into downtown, Liesel reminded me over and over that they needed to wear their swimsuits. On the day of, she went to each of the girls individually and made sure they were wearing swimsuits. They just HAD to have their swimsuits! 

As we walked to Buckingham Fountain, we ran into a couple from England. When I told them one of the girls was named Ireland, they asked why I didn't name the others England, Scotland and Wales. Ha, ha! Of course, it kind of made me wish I had... but there's no way we could have known at the outset we would have 4 daughters. Anyway, they were such a delight to talk to and they offered to take our picture.

I love how my little rebels slip through the fence to toss their coins in the fountain.

We headed over to Maggie Daley Park and surprise, surprise, the girls spent the bulk of their time at the splash pads. Just around the corner from one of them is this open whale's mouth so there is Sydney looking afraid she'll be swallowed.

Having such a fantastic (FREE) park in the middle of the city is one of the reasons I love Chicago!

The cute t-shirts and skirts the girls wore over their swimsuits came off lickety split. I got to sit in the shade and snap a few photos while trying to get everything organized in the giant beach bag I'd brought with towels and sunscreen.

Brent met us at The Bean with a picnic lunch. I was so entertained by the way the girls were posing, I didn't notice they were standing on a spot where it looks like about 5 soft drinks have been spilled on the concrete! I could have easily moved them somewhere else that was cleaner, but oh well.

Of course, now all I can see is that disgusting mess on the concrete... man I wish I knew how to edit!

Anyway, on to The Crown Fountain. I finally captured a video of the "spitting" as the girls call it. You can see them all gravitating towards the stream. 

Man, it's a good thing we remembered swimsuits this year, eh?

Yeah, Liesel was pretty happy about that.

Unlike last year, the girls were able to get as wet as they wanted. Like last year, they fell dead asleep on the drive home.

I loved seeing Brent on a day I normally wouldn't have. These long summer days can get lonely for me, especially when it feels like the girls are intent on fighting, fussing, making messes and complaining about anything we do. It's nice to have a comrade in arms to try and make things go smoothly.

Those days are shortened significantly as we head into the school year. Hooray!!!

Brigitta is FIVE!

For Brigitta's five year photos, I hired one of my young women. I've been following her on Instagram for a while and love her sense of light and texture. I had full faith in her as a photographer. 

I seriously love these photos!!! Ready? Here we go!

 
When Ireland had her five year old photo shoot, she was wearing purple pajama bottoms under my wedding dress. Brigitta just adores these socks so I wanted a similar photo of her showing a little personality.

The lights over Ireland's bed are on a timer. They go on for an hour around nap time and an hour around bed time. Once they click off, it's time to put books away and go to sleep. They just happened to be on during the photo shoot. I think they look so sweet there in the background.

I love how that little tongue comes out a bit when she's really focused on something!

This is one of my favorites. That long train with my little girl happily playing with the dollhouse at the end of it.

Ireland always gets a little annoyed when anyone touches her dollhouse- she likes it just so- but this is for posterity.

The next set makes me smile. Remember when Brigitta used to eat my lipstick? Especially the really expensive ones?

She's growing up, but that sweet curve of her cheek says she's still my baby!

Another favorite. You can see just a corner of the quilt made by her great, great grandmother Birgetta Katrina, who she was named after- a symbol of the past. She's gently lifting the wedding veil- a symbol of the future. There's just so much captured in this one photo!

The money shot. Framing this one!

Brigitta's baby blonde hair is giving way to a dark brunette. You can see both in this picture, along with those baby blues.

Brigitta was so excited for her photo shoot! Her sisters sneaked into the room in the middle of it and she basked in all the attention.

 Brigitta was up rather early on her birthday and started yelling from her bed, "I'm awake now!" Brent had to hustle to get her breakfast in bed just so.

Portillos brought back their lemon cake for the summer. It tastes like citrus heaven so we ordered a whole one for her birthday.

YUM!!!

 Brigitta really is such a wonderful girl! Every day she tells me I'm the best mom ever and that she just loves me. Believe it or not, I need to hear it every time. I can mention in the morning I have a headache and Brigitta will think to ask me in the afternoon if it's better. She has the most delightful giggle and when it's been a hard day, I ask Brent to tickle her before she goes to bed. We all end up laughing because of her delightful squeals. Although she is more prone to get swept up in the sister drama that runs rampant in this house, she tries so very hard to be a good girl and make good decisions. Brigitta is not a loner, she constantly seeks companionship. I can confidently say her blue eyes are from my side of the family. Every now and again, they take my breath away with their stunning beauty. On the one hand, it breaks my heart when she comes to me with big tears spilling down her soft cheeks because of the latest injustice. On the other, I can't wait to unleash her on the world and see her make her mark. Believe me, there will be a mark made on this world by the time she is through with it!

I'm so grateful for this darling girl of mine!