Pinching

With the Wuehler family (as with many families across America), 2009 is going to be a tight year. Brent and I have looked at our finances and agreed to take some cost-saving measures to trim the fat. We're pretty careful with our money anyway so we had to get creative on finding more ways to save. The following is a list of things we will do for 2009 and once 2010 hits we can loosen our belts a tad. In the meantime:

1. No movies: we have Netflix and rather than pay $12 per person for a movie in the theater, we're just going to have to wait until it's available on dvd. I think Harry Potter is the only one we would have shelled out the money for anyway.


2. Public transportation: even though gas has gone down to a tolerable price, parking in Boston can be pricey. Every so often I'd be headed out the door to catch my bus when Liesel would wake up, smile a groggy smile at me and my heart melted. I'd announce to Brent we'd just have to drive in because I couldn't leave my girl. Doing this a couple of times a week at $11 a day, you can do the math. I'm just going to have to suck it up and consistently take the bus. Those early morning hours are Brent and Liesel's bonding time anyway; I get to see her in the afternoon when I do pick up.


3. No restaurants: when we looked at our finances for this past year I was blown away at how much we spend at restaurants. We never go out! But a little Burger King here, a Chinese craving there and voila, it adds up fast. For some strange reason we've amassed a number of gift cards to various restaurants lately. BTW- huge thanks to the anonymous person who sent me a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory for my birthday. I never did find out who was so generous. Anyway, if we really need a night out we'll use one of our many gift cards. No restaurants means NO restaurants. Everything from Bertucci's to Yum Yum Dim Sum is on the chopping block. 2009 will be the year of home cooking.


4. A couple of degrees: I like a toasty warm house even though Brent and Liesel run warm. I looked at the temperature gauge and turned it down a couple of degrees. I'm wearing my hoodies around the house a lot more often and Brent's obliged me with more cuddling. This one's not so bad.


5. E-bay: I'm looking long and hard at the things we just don't use that could be sold to an eager buyer. We made a nice chunk of change from the extra Cities and Knights set and my old Coach bag this past year. Now that I have the account and a little bit of know how (thanks for the tutorial Reagan!) our virtual garage sale is up and running.
6. Valentine's Day: from the beginning of our marriage we agreed that Brent would always get me flowers (ordered shortly after Christmas when there are a lot of deals) and I would take him out to eat. Turns out Valentine's Day is on a Saturday this year! My co-workers will never know we decided to forgo the flowers and we'll cook each other a lovely meal at home to celebrate. We're planning to do the same thing for our anniversary.
7. Buddy System: I've agreed I will not frequent a Container Store unless Brent is with me. I can easily justify spending huge amounts of money there because "A house of order is a house of God" so Brent promises to keep my feet on the ground.


8. No birthday gifts: Birthdays are a pretty big deal in my family and I really try to get everyone in the Nielsen and Wuehler families a little somn' somn' for the big day. Turns out, it's a pretty big expense so this year we're doing letters detailing why we love and appreciate the birthday person. I can't go so cheap as to do email but a stamp is still a pretty big savings. I have a feeling people will like personal letters better than the gifts we've gotten in the past anyway.


9. Embrace the Kirkland brand: Oooohkay... this is, well a challenge for me. As of right now we do the butter and the frozen chicken so perhaps I can swallow my pride and try some of their other products. Except the men's shirts. And the toilet paper. You know what? This one isn't all that big of a deal. I just agreed to try it. I could even take it off of this list.

Any other suggestions? I'd love to hear your cost-savings secrets!

I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing...

Ever get a tune stuck in your head? This was in mine last night and if your over the age of 25 and you read the title of this post it's likely stuck in yours too now. Brent kept looking at me funny when I'd try and make up the words although I think "I'd like to buy the world a coke and make it caffeine free" was pretty darn clever. Anyway, it was seriously driving me to Alzheimer's trying to remember how it went so I hunkered down on the laptop to research it out and satisfy my inquiring mind.



Wasn't this such a great commercial? Of course, this is the 1984 Christmas version but the original was done in 1971. In my search for lyrics I ran across the story behind it. I consider myself a road warrior and I loved how a fogged in airport can turn into a great opportunity.

Whaddya say? Should Coca Cola bring one more rendition of this one back for old times sake? I'd love to buy the world a home and furnish it with love. I would!

Hallelujah

Ladies and gentlemen! As of 3:00 yesterday our Arizona house has SOLD!!! We sold it in the middle of the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. We sold it in the off-month of December. We sold it in Arizona which was one of the states hardest hit by the housing bubble. We sold it without hurting our pristine credit. We sold it without resorting to renters who would have destroyed the place. We sold it after much blood, sweat and tears. Literally. We've poured a huge chunk of our marriage into getting that house off our backs. Miracle? Absofrigginlutely!!! A mountain of thanks for all your prayers. They worked.

No more sleepless nights. No more paying for air-conditioning during the hottest summer in 10 years. No more complaints from the beotch neighbor (no lie, she really was a piece of work). No more pool repairs. No more tear-filled calls to family and friends. No more landscaping upkeep. No more calls to my buddy Glen at Service Magic (we became very close) for plumbing/electric/roofing/ water heating/whatever estimates. No more cringing every time I read about the state of the housing market as it plummets into oblivion. No more worrying we'd have to move to Arizona (with my asthma and allergies) before we had our next child so we could stay financially solvent. No more. It's over folks. We are leaving behind a painful past in exchange for a rosy future.

I'm so happy I want to run naked through a field of daisies. Too bad it's winter. I've never been so excited to be homeless. Well, we have our apartment here in Boston but you know, other than that :) We're FREE!!!

Let the healing begin!

Thank You Patrick!!!

This is a shout out to the governor of Massachusetts for calling a state of emergency for today. Since I'm considered a "non-essential city employee" work is closed! To add a little cherry on top of that, I have all next week off so basically, my vacation starts NOW. I get to hang out with my adorable girl today. I could start that t-shirt quilt for Brent. I could tidy the house. I could go back to bed. I could bake bread! I could call all my friends and have long, meaningful conversations. I could take pictures and video of Liesel. I could blog. I could light a yule log. I could watch all the recorded tv episodes on my dvr. I could shop online. I could organize my iTunes. I could ponder poems by Yeats. I could change my ring tone. Oh the things I could do! Oh! Oh! Oh!!!

LOL

Being married to an accountant comes with it's own brand of humor. These made me laugh:

• Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "it's that $50 I owe you."
  

• An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night.""Have you tried counting sheep?""That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
  
• A job interview is in progress, a bright and experienced accountant is interviewing for a position of a CFO. He is being interviewed by the members of board of directors and a CEO. During the interview the CEO suddenly asks: "Tell me, what is seven multiplied by three?" The accountant thinks fast and tells "22." Once the interview is over the accountant goes out, takes out the calculator and finds the answer - 21, disappointed, he goes home. Next morning he gets a call from the CEO, "Hey, you got a job." The accountant is pleasantly surprised. He cannot but ask, "Thank you very much for the job but what about seven multiplied by three?" The CEO tells him - "of all the candidates we interviewed, you came the closest."
  

• A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Want to hear an accountant joke?"
  The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I'm an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 225 pounds, and he's an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?"
  The first guy says, "No, I don't want to have to explain it two times."

Got any other good ones?

Information That Would Have Been Useful YESTERDAY!

So apparently you're not supposed to put potato peels in your disposal. I guess the starch gums everything up. And apparently filling the sink with hot water in the hopes the stuck potato will cook and soften isn't a good idea either. I guess the water just backs up and drips out of your dishwasher, through the floor and onto your storage in the basement below. Apparently the busiest day of the year for plumbers is the day after Thanksgiving as noted in this article. I guess my favorite part is the guy who paid the plumber $100 not to tell his wife it was, you guessed it, the potato peels.

Didn't know that. How come everyone else does? Why did you all selfishly keep this information to yourselves? Why didn't you all warn us about this? "Hey Danika, Gymboree is having a sale. By the way, don't put potato peels down your sink." "Great Red Sox game Brent! Have I ever told you it's not a good idea to put potato peels in your sink?" "I love you so much little Liesel. Because I do I'd like to pass on a valuable little tid bit: never EVER put potato peels in your sink!"

What's the dealio people? Are we not good enough for your potato conversations? Is there some secret spud society we're just not cool enough to join? Is that it? Huh? HUH?

Men Are From Home Depot, Women Are From Vera Wang

What should I wear?

I pose this question to Brent in regards to the children's Christmas party at his work. He responds dismissively, "It's Saturday so just something comfortable... jeans." Hmmmm, he mentioned Santa was going to be there. While I realize I'm pretty new at this whole parenting thing, I recall being amazed at how well-dressed the children at the mall were waiting to sit on Santa's lap. It's a photo op. Some parents even make ornaments out of them. Kind of a big deal.

Are you sure? There aren't going to be kids in like, super nice outfits are there?

Again, Brent dismissively assures me it's SATURDAY which is code for casual. I quickly decide on my own outfit: skinny jeans, high heals and my fuzzy pink sweater which is carefully stowed in a plastic bag for much of the year. I throw my hair in a chignon and put on only light makeup. I'm trying to convey the message that I'm impossibly put together for the mother of an 8-month old and my husband's success extends well beyond his position there at work. Then I consider Liesel's outfit. Something festive for sure. I settle on a red sweater with jeans and then fearing she'd look too much like a boy, I throw on her red and white lace socks. To top it off (pun intended), I force her into the scratchy Santa hat we bought on a whim at Target a week ago. As I strap Liesel into her car seat Brent comes out with no coat. He's always insisting he runs hot and I'm always begging him to blend with the crowd and cover up. This time I also remind him his work is located in the seaport district where it's always much colder than inland. He runs into the house and in a flash he's back in his over sized BYU windbreaker. The one that's big enough for a linebacker to wear... with his football gear on. *sigh* I'd been thinking something more along the lines of his black, leather jacket but you have to pick your battles.

Upon arriving at Brent's work he shows us around before we head down to the party. We ran into his old boss who has three kids in tow. I notice the children are in matchy-matchy argyle outfits. Ooookay... maybe it's just because that's the boss? We head down to the party and there are all the children in their red velvet/plaid satin/sparkling silver outfits. The boys have chunky sweaters with matching pants and socks. The girls have white tights and patent leather shoes not to mention silk ribbons in their hair. The good news is my outfit was right on cue. Every woman there is wearing essentially the same thing. Liesel on the other hand is looking a tad... well... off. Even with the Santa hat she's just a little under dressed. When I talked to Brent about it afterwards he was a bit sheepish. I'd been right to inquire about a dress code; even if that dress code was unspoken.

What I find fascinating about all this is it seems to be a gender thing. Pretty much every married woman I know has a story similar to this. Men may make fun of us for staring at a closet full of clothes and exclaiming, "I have NOTHING to wear" because they don't understand this fundamental truth: always obey the dress code. You don't want to be THAT woman who's ridiculously under/overdressed. It indicates arrogance or ignorance or worse, BOTH. Yet for the average male, it barely escapes their notice if someones appearance is out of kilter with the event at hand. Why is that anyway? If a man showed up to a black tie wedding in jeans all he'd remember is that he was really comfortable that day, not that he was horrifyingly inappropriate. Ladies, back me up here?

A Little Sunday Afternoon Reading

Here are a few pictures from the Thanksgiving holidays, including celebrating Sister Nielsen's birthday. Also included are some pictures of Liesel in the tub, reading on a Sunday afternoon (my favorites), and a videos of watching the train go around the Christmas tree, and Dancing/Kicking (Sorry for the change in direction on that one--I did it so I could capture more of her kicking).

Just a Flesh Wound!

Laughed and had to post this in the hopes it would give the three people who read my blog something to smile at too. I love that they used Hilary's real voice.

What the Heck?

Yesterday it was orange. Not an orange hue; BRIGHT rust orange. It's something you might see in a brilliant sunset over India with the heat from the day and the aroma of spices in the air. Today it was so dark green it was practically black. Like the color of a pine tree in the middle of a thick, dark forest where the sun has not shined in decades.

Both times it smelled like sin and there was lots of it. I've been changing sheets, blankets and mattress pads. I'm so grateful we opted for a waterproof mattress pad or we'd be throwing out the mattress too. What the crap is going on? Literally?

What is Liesel eating?

Giving Thanks

What a fantastic Thanksgiving! Mom and Dad drove up from their mission in New Jersey to be here for the occasion. We had three of our most fabulous friends join us which rounded things out perfectly. This was only the second turkey I've made in my life and it was a 25-pounder we called Herman. I followed the advice of friends and brined the sucker. Those first "test" bites were practically dripping with moist deliciousness and we've been loving the ample leftovers ever since. One of the perks of hosting Thanksgiving is you get to call the time it's served. I didn't want to get up at 6:00 AM to start working on the turkey so I established 5 PM as the bewitching hour. We had a long, leisurely day to prepare the food and the house for entertaining. This is the first year we had our complete china set (including the gravy boat!) and the table looked fabulous if I do say so myself.
Thanksgiving was also a special day because it was Mom's birthday. Every so often they fall on the same date and it just adds extra oomph to the festivities. Instead of traditional pumpkin or pecan pie we had tri-layer red velvet cake from Irving's in New Jersey. YUM! Mom has a way with people and she really got a deal on it. Sadly the candles didn't make it through much of the songs and there was one corner of the cake that had an ember burning a hole in it. Still, it's a Nielsen tradition to sing absolutely every birthday song you know, so in the end she only had one candle to blow out.

Even with all the kitchen duties I had snippets of time to ponder on my blessings. I was surrounded by family and good friends not to mention some of my favorite foods. We had wonderful conversation and it may sound ridiculous, but I'm grateful to have a day just to eat good food and give thanks. Thank you Thanksgiving Day!

Crush

I have certain given talents: finding a fabulous makeup product that will inevitably be discontinued, remembering images but not names or any attendant information that would allow me to look it up later and extremely expensive taste. When I go shopping I can look at a whole rack of clothes and only find one thing I like... and that one item will be the most expensive thing there. No that I'm a snob, I don't even look at the price tag until after perusing the merchandise. For some reason my taste tends to cost a pretty penny.

At home I have a piggy bank where I toss my spare change. When the pig is feeling heavy I put it into rolls and head to the bank at which point I can use it towards anything I like. This money is "off the books" in accountant lingo. Brent and I have a don't ask, don't tell policy when it comes to those funds. It's no small chunk of change either; the last time I emptied it I had over $75 in there. I've designated this money towards my shoe fettish. Currently the pig is fat so I thought I'd peruse zappos.com and I found these:



I LOVE THEM!!! They're just my style: a sassy twist on a classic Mary Jane. Of course, they're ridiculously expensive. Now if only I could turn this talent into something useful...

Long ago in a bathroom far, far away

To Screw In a Lightbulb...

If I could do high school over again I'd take the auto mechanic class offered at City High. As a teenager I erroneously assumed that course was only for grease monkeys without enough brains and determination to pursue higher education. Obviously I was going to better myself and contribute to society at a white-collar level so that course wasn't for me. Well, I can tell you I don't remember a dang thing from my trig class. I know sine, cosine and there's another one but I couldn't tell you what they're for. I think they spin in circles or something and you graph them to prove... something. The auto mechanic class on the other hand? That's something I bet I'd use at least twice a week at least!

Not that I'm completely ignorant when it comes to cars. If something is wrong I know it's either gas or electrical. Get the oil changed regularly and don't grind the engine if it doesn't start right away. Cold weather is the death of many a battery. Righty tighty, lefty loosey. So yeah, not completely ignorant. In my lifetime I've actually spent quite a bit of time in hardware and auto parts stores. When my mother had occasion to frequent a True Value or Napa Auto Parts store she'd have me brush my hair and put on some lip balm. She insisted she received better customer service when I came along.

I've taken my cues from my mother and when something minor goes wrong with the car I prefer to buy the part and figure it out myself. After all it's a car, not rocket science. Recently the driver's side headlight burned out on our Nissan so I was off to AutoZone. How hard could it be? Right. First I couldn't figure out how to get the hood to stay up. I looked and looked for the wire thingy that would keep it from crashing down on my head to no avail. After a bit of investigation I figured out how to screw off the socket. Then there was the matter of getting the old light bulb itself out of the casing. Not so easy. There was a plastic piece that said "PUSH" with an arrow. I pushed and pushed and pushed. I pushed longer than I did giving birth to Liesel and this thing didn't budge.

My frustration was rising as the sun slipped lower and lower in the sky and I balanced the hood on my back while I worked. Finally I resorted to a screwdriver to help wedge the thing out.

Caveat: the few times I worked one on one with my dad in the garage I was introduced to a whole symphony of four letter words. Generally a pious man, he swore like a longshoreman when working on one of the cars. It was not a bit perplexing and somewhat frightening to see him this way and I never quite understood why it happened when he worked in the garage. Lucky for me, Dad was somewhat sexist and it was usually the boys who had to change the oil and replace the brakes. Girls could stay in the house with Mom.

Back to the headlight. My anger with the light bulb hit a fevered pitch and I started muttering under my breath. Then I let out short bursts of profanity like I had tourrettes. Finally I mustered all my strength and screamed "YOU! PIECE! OF! MONKEY! $#@*!!!!" and out popped the lightbulb.

I guess I understand a little better why Dad swore whenever he worked on a car. My only regret is I could have learned that back in high school.

1% Inspiration, 99% Perspiration

The mind of a quilter is a curious thing. I find inspiration for my creations in the most bizarre things: a leaf, a quote, a new stage of life, etc. Since I broke both my arms, quilting has gone by the wayside for me but the passion is still there. My sisters called with a quilting question which led me to thumb through some of my books and the ideas came flooding back. I have half a dozen projects in my mind but I'm having a hard time narrowing them down into THE project. Winter is hard on the heels of Fall and I need to have a good project to hunker down with when the blizzards blow outside my window.

Some women make tons of tiny baby blankets... and they give them away. Other women fixate on one pattern and make 3 quilts in different colors... and then give them away. Me? I make one or possibly two incredibly difficult quilts a year. I pick something way beyond my skill level and relentlessly work to make my vision into a tactile reality. My quilts only come in two sizes: large and huge. And if you've ever managed to receive one of my creations as a gift... well, count yourself lucky because I RARELY give them away. Blood sweat and tears go into every one not to mention a pretty penny. So these are the ideas I have floating around my mind:

A Hawaiian Breadbasket in red and white with dupioni silk. I want to do the backing in a French toile (red and white obviously). The Hawaiians believe when you quilt you leave a piece of your soul behind in the quilt. It would have to be done entirely by hand... applique (which I hate) and echo quilting (which would take forever). I don't know what I'm thinking, but this project calls to me.

A Sunbonnet Sue Gone Bad: I've referenced this in an earlier blog post but those ideas still rattle around my brain. The Yankees fan Sue especially. The Word of Wisdom Sue. I don't know, they're begging to be made. Again, lots of applique (which I still hate). This quilt would be a sort of exorcism because really, I can't stand the Sunbonnet Sue quilts.

A Stack N Whack: Back when I attended quilt guild with the blue-haired bitties one of the month's presenters talked about stack n whack quilts. They look amazing and are supposedly incredibly easy. All you really have to do is find the right patterned fabric and the result is a kaleidoscope-esque creation. One of the things I love about quilting is definitely the fabric. I hold it, stroke it, pet it, listen to it (different fabrics say different things to me, no lie) and most importantly OBEY it. Never go against what a fabric wants done. If you don't you destroy it's life destiny... and yours.

I need help here! What's your vote? Which one should I pursue?

Had To Be Said...

Generally I don't like to get into controversial topics on my blog. I always say I like to keep my private life private. Unlike so many of the Hollywood crowd, I don't have delusions of grandeur and think everyone's just dying to hear my political leanings. If someone wants to know my opinion, they'll ask me for it in a private forum where we can discuss our views respectfully. However, recent events have led me with a strong desire to put my two cents out there and well, this is as good a place as any. I don't like daylight savings.

The first reason I don't like it is because not everyone abides by it. What's up Arizona? And that little section of Indiana? The fact they're not required to participate makes me feel like I'm 11 all over again and one of my siblings got out of cleaning the kitchen. Taking my case to my parents all I heard was to stop complaining because, "Parents don't care about justice, they only care about peace." Suddenly I was the bad person! Whateva. This should be an all or nothing thing, no one is above the law.

Secondly, I'm not a fan of daylight savings because everyone whines about it. Yes, it's dark at night... that's not totally out of the norm and it's worse in Antarctica for crying out loud!!! Besides, if you don't like it just move to Arizona or that little section of Indiana. Both those places have a lot of uhhh, hmmm... well the clock doesn't change so there you go.

Finally, figuring out the whole fall back/spring forward/lose an hour/gain an hour just makes no sense. Am I sleeping in or waking up early? That's all I want to know. "Falling back" makes me want an extended daylight savings which pushes the clock forward (or is it backward?) an hour every week. That extra hour comes in handy for the parents of a little baby. So don't tease me by doing it once a year and then brutally taking it back. Rude.

Okay, sorry if this was a sensitive topic for some of you but I just had to raise my voice!!!

This One's For the Grandparents!

Pics and Video of Liesel

Fake crying, creeping (not quite crawling), fresh and clean, dreaming of baptism (note the hand position), "fauxhawk" hairdo, hanging out on Mom and Dad's bed, cutie pie first thing in the morning, Halloween costume at daycare, visiting Hazel at the nursing home, really sick of the costume by the end of the day, casual Sunday afternoon, snowbunny sweater

SYTYCD?

I've noticed in my short career as a married woman almost every couple has something quirky their "into." For example, we have some fabulous friends who are into their pet skunk. Friends like these come in handy when you discover a ginormous skunk in your yard. My sister and her husband are really into Michael Jackson. They can both dress like him, dance like him and have a plethora of his lyrics memorized. My parents are into irritating their children. No lie, they delight in twitting us by getting common phrases wrong like "It was to DIE from!" when describing something wonderful. For Brent and I it's all things organization-related, the Thai food from King and I and the show So You Think You Can Dance?

When Brent and I were pre-marriage, Reagan introduced us to the show while the Nielsen family was vacationing in the Outer Banks. For us, it was one of those shows that watching once was all it took. The guy who ended up winning that season was a west-coast swing dancer named Benji and he was Mormon. The next season his sister Lacey was in the final four. Heading into this season we were ready with our recordable DVDs to capture the entire thing from the try-outs to the finale. By far, this was the best season to date.

We were both immediately captivated by Joshua, the hip-hop dancer who went on to win the whole thing. He came from a poor background. He quit football and cleaned dance studios to "pay" for his classes. He cried whenever he made it to another level of the competition. Others in his genre usually petered out when they were hit with a ballroom or contemporary number but he did the salsa in his tight pants like he'd been doing it all his life. He gave everything he had into every number he was given from Broadway to contemporary and we were continually blown away. Joshua literally MADE me pick up the phone and vote for him... he was just that good.

Imagine my excitement when Brent announced he'd gotten us tickets to the tour as a combined anniversary/birthday present. I'd get to see my favorite numbers LIVE and by the people who made them water-cooler fodder. The best part was that we'd be doing it together and only we understood how much this meant to the other. It was beyond amazing! Seeing the dances on TV from 5 different camera angles highlighted the entertainment value of the show. The tour highlighted the athleticism. I don't think you'd see the idiots with no dance background trying out every year who think they'd just "give it a shot" if everyone saw them in person.

Aside from seeing my favorite dancer, I saw my favorite dress: Kherington's white, biased-cut ballroom dress she wore doing the Viennese Waltz to A New Day with Twitch. I saw plenty from my favorite choreographers: Tabitha and Napoleon who have been working together for 12 years and married for 10. You can FEEL their commitment to each other in their pieces. I saw my favorite group routine: the Mia Michael's black and white circus-type dance. I even got to see Mark do his solo to Bohemian Rhapsody that propelled him into the Top 20 and yes, it's even better live. Of the many, many, many routines we saw these are my very favorites (nota bene: the videos are longer than the dances. The commentary by the dancers is worth a gander because you get a hint of their personality but skip the judges critique afterwards):

Joshua and Katee when they first caught our eye. It still makes me tingle when I see him go up over his toes:



Chelsea and Mark, Bleeding Love. This one got the biggest applause from the tour:


Twitch and Joshua's Trepak (love the smack talk):



I don't want to clog the blog but if you've never seen the show and you'd like more, I highly recommend those mentioned above as well as:

Mark and Comfort's Detention
Kherington and Twitch's Prison Break
Courtney and Mark's The Garden
Comfort and Twitch's Hip-Hop
Chelsea and Mark's Tim Burton's Wedding
Katee and Joshua's Lyrical
Katee and Twitch's Door

Heck, just come over and watch the whole season again with us! Unless of course, you think it's just to weird to get into.

Boston Lobstah

For her 6-month photos we dressed Liesel in her Halloween costume. I have to give mad props to my sister Reagan for loaning us the outfit. Lucky for us, our ward had a lobster pot from the annual clam bake which made a great accessory. I just love her coy look in the last one like she's saying, "Awwwwe come on... you wouldn't boil me, now would you? I wouldn't make a very good lobster bisque anyway. "

They got cut off a bit when they were scanned but you get the idea.

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

Saw it, loved it, have to share it.

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

Upbraideth Not

After a great day at church and a visit from the home teachers, Brent and I had a wonderfully tasty Sunday dinner. Liesel went down for a nap. Feeling spiritually enlightened and physically satisfied, we decided to relax a bit. Brent had his head in my lap and I was running my fingers through his hair.

They say men are sensitive about two things: height and hair. Brent has both of those in spades. While I love going up on tiptoe to kiss him, I'm especially partial to his hair. Seriously, Patrick Dempsey has nothing on him. It's incredibly thick and wavy and Brent grows it longer just for me. I never thought I'd fall in love with a blond and I am so very in love with this blond. When he's been playing basketball or just stepped out of the shower it really curls up and I can't stop myself from brushing the tendrils back from his forehead. Brent finds it unruly, I find it irresistibly sexy.

So we were enjoying a moment of quiet and I was contemplating how MUCH hair he had. And you know, it's actually pretty long now. Long enough in fact, that I think I could....

"ARE YOU BRAIDING MY HAIR!?!"

Oh, sorry... is that wrong? Am I not supposed to do that? If someone told me that was frowned upon I wouldn't have done it. Yeah, apparently that's bad. Kind of uhm... REALLY bad. I guess I crossed some line nobody told me about. Brent was pretty horrified and he quickly raked his fingers back and forth through my careful braid. I tried to tell him I needed to practice on someone so when Liesel's hair is lo... I didn't even get to finish that thought. I'm afraid he's going to the nearest Great Clips to have it all shaved off now. Memo to me, memo to me: don't braid Brent's hair. But for the record, I still don't see what's so wrong with that.

Cover Girl

Back by popular demand, new photos and video of Liesel:

Starting solids, peaking over Dad's shoulder, sleeping with her bunny, Pooh Bear snowsuit (it's a size 0-3 month and barely fits her anymore!), twins at church (complete coincidence... even their car seat matched), peeking over pillows when she was supposed to be sleeping, Moose Caboose, dandelion fluff (we blow-dried her hair after the bath), "running" to Mom, Gymboree giraffe sweater, apple-picking, eating pureed prunes (turns out you're only supposed to do that if they're constipated. Ooops. We paid for that during 3 days of BAD diapers) watching Dad and Victory Party at My Crib t-shirt photos.

Quick note: It wasn't until we loaded these that I realized how many photos and videos have Liesel in nothing but a diaper... looking like a WIC baby. We really do usually have her in at least a onesy but she tends to be incredibly cute just after a bath or shower.

SWAG

"Stuff. We. All. Get. I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my swag." ~Michael Scott (The Office)

I work for a non-profit. Or is it not-for-profit? Is there even a difference? Anyhoo, it's a bit more touchy-feely than your average company and we associates get a pretty consistent amount of swag which keeps morale high. They were even honored by the Boston Business Journal as one of the region's best places to work. We placed 14 out of 20 in the large business (more than 500 employees) category.

In my 6 years with the company I've received a towel, laundry bag, socks, fleece blanket, color-changing cups, canvass beach bag, Red Sox tickets (I've won 3 times!), mugs, computer bag, backpack, iPod shuffle, fleece jacket, water bottle, t-shirt, travel kit, and then the usual pens, notebooks, portfolios and food, food, food. Seriously, we get A LOT of free food. It's always nice to get a little something now and again although I have to admit I've been excited about some items more than others.

This week was Customer Service Appreciation week at work. I was extremely busy so I didn't have time to pick up my Dunkin Donuts gift card, or have any of the free pizza, or to complete any of the daily puzzles to win the big prize (I think it was an iPod or iPhone or something like that). The final email went out on Friday announcing ice cream was being served along with a give away. I wasn't all that interested in the ice cream since I'm still trying to lose the last of my baby weight. Lucky for me, my cube neighbor is eager for food at pretty much all times so he scouted it out for me and gave me a preview of the day's swag:

I'd seen these before at The Container Store (also known as my Nirvana). The top section holds cereal and the bottom section goes in the freezer. It has an orange gel inside which keeps the milk cold. There's even a collapsible spoon in the lid. It's perfect for travel. It's perfect for kids. It's ingenious. I LOVE IT!!! With 15 minutes left, I briskly walked down to the large conference room where I was met with a line that wound all the way through one division. I spied the VP of HR and asked if it was okay to slip in and snag my swag. After all, it was Customer Service Appreciation Week. I was completely jazzed to show it to Brent when he picked me up. Ahhhhh, I'm feelin' the love!

Quality Education

It's a little-known fact that Massachusetts has the highest cost of daycare in the entire US. That's actually a well-known fact for anyone living in Massachusetts with children. I know many people who've looked into it before they even considered having children! Brent and I were fortunate enough to find one that's only $485 a week and we were wait-listed for just a few months. I know, we could probably support hundreds of children in the tribes of third world nations with that money but believe me, in these parts it's a good deal. Other day cares charge you $100 just to get on the waiting list. Not to actually get a spot, just to BE on the waiting list, which is about a year. The money isn't a registration fee either; like I said, it's JUST to be on the list. Since enrolling Liesel we've stopped calling it 'daycare'... we call it 'college' because it's about as expensive.

It stands to reason that at such a high price the place would run like a well-oiled machine. Liesel literally doesn't take a dump without us knowing about it. It's all written down on her "Family Communication" sheet which they complete daily, in duplicate. It includes all meals, naps, diapers and even her mood for the day. There's a spot for us to fill out at the top indicating when our child woke up, when she had her last meal, who can be reached most readily at which number (home/work/cell?) and any "special requests, medications, or information we need today." What can I say? I was feeling a little cheeky this morning and quickly scribbled in "Please read her Shakespeare today- Thanks!"

When I picked Liesel up from daycare I gathered her bottles and took my copy of the Family Communication sheet which noted the following: "Today I had a good day. I enjoyed playing with new babies who've started to participate in our school. Today I also enjoyed listening to Shakespeare's songs from 'The Tempest". They made me smile." My jaw dropped. I turned to the care givers, "You guys! I was totally kidding about the Shakespeare!" One of the new mothers who had been eyeing me as I read the sheet said, "I saw that and wondered..." Yeah, wondered if I'm already gunning for my child to have a 200 IQ? Wondering what Ivy League school I'm currently making nice, fat donations to? Wondering what kind of high maintenance mother demands that her 6 month old be quoted 16th century literature? Wondering if I'm a marketing rep for Baby Einstein? Yeah, I would have wondered too.

Turns out one of the caregivers is a part-time actress who has played numerous roles in Shakespearean plays. We chatted for a while about what she's done and whether she's ever been to Shakespeare on the Common and how my mother taught British Lit as a college professor, etc. etc. Even after all this I have to admit I felt a little sheepish as I gathered my little girl in my arms and headed home. Then something came over me and I started thinking about other requests I could make:

Please explain string theory and make sure Liesel has a firm understanding of the Grand Unified Theory of Physics.

Please help Liesel memorize all past presidents of the United States.

Please make sure Liesel gets in her 10 mile run today (she's training for the Boston Marathon)

Please teach Liesel to make lace.

At the moment, I'm feeling like the sky's the limit :)

File This One Under "What Were We Thinking?"

Yesterday I came home to discover a package on my door. I love packages. No, I mean, I LOVE packages! I must've had severe mail deprivation as a child because knowing an item has been wrapped up and journeyed it's way to my front door warms my heart like a blowtorch. Turns out this one was indeed special. My dear friend Janeal had sent me a puzzle of Fenway Park for my birthday. Quite apropos considering last night the Red Sox beat the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles to advance to the next round of playoffs. Caveat-- I think that's SO lame. Don't try to tie your team name to L.A., let the Brooklyn Dodgers do that. Just call yourselves the Anaheim Angels. Be where you're at! Bloom where you're planted! It's just such a wannabe thing to be the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim by Disneyland or whatever their official title is. It's like saying you're 29 when everyone knows you're 31. Give it up already.

Anyway, back to my package. Normally I would have waited to open it until my birthday but nothing on the outside indicated it was to be reserved for a special occasion. Because I'd already spoiled my surprise, I thought I'd put it to use for another special occasion: our wedding anniversary. That's right, as of yesterday Brent and I have been married for a whopping two years. It feels like just yesterday we kneeled across an altar in the Nauvoo temple and covenanted to be together for time and for all eternity. Well, feels like just yesterday until I consider the fact we have a 6-month old. THEN it feels appropriately two years. When Brent came home from work I suggested we do the puzzle for our Family Home Evening activity. How cute, I thought. We could pretend to be like a super old couple that eats dinner at 4:30 and constantly loses things and does puzzles for a rip roaring night of fun. How cute, right?

The puzzle was 500 pieces. That should have been my first clue. With intricate, tiny details (see photo). That should have been my second clue. Brent and I are both OCD. I should have factored that in as well. We didn't have a nice little evening together, we spent 2 1/2 hours painstakingly finishing this project (by then it had become one) so we could purge ourselves of the task and finally sleep at night. There was no reminiscent conversation, only mumbles about a conspiracy by the puzzle company who MUST have left out some pieces. To an outsider we probably looked like a couple with multiple personality disorder as we talked to ourselves under our breath and then shouted with glee when one of the pieces fit. At one point we put Tommy Boy on the TV in the background to help distract us because things were getting tense.

You would think seeing the finished puzzle would have given us a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and perhaps togetherness? Not so much. It was more like a compulsive release that the puzzle was finally in it's proper order. What a horrible idea! I took a hot shower to release the knots from my neck and shoulders and we pretty much fell into bed. Romantic, huh? The silver lining is that this morning as we prepped ourselves for the day we both walked by the completed puzzle and were appropriately impressed with ourselves. In a way it's what I'd always hoped for in a marriage, someone who would stick by me until the very end. I love you Brent!

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

The economy is a mess. It's such a debacle of epic proportions I'm not even sure where to direct my outrage. Bush? Wall Street? Congress? Unscrupulous lenders? Liquidity-hoarding banks? The French? If I think about it too much I just start hating everyone. Lately I've noticed NPR's pleas for donations have hit a fevered pitch. "It's more important than EVER to give what you can so we can continue to bring you the news you count on! Just a dollar a month... or year will help and it's tax deductible!" Even Spare Change who regularly panhandles by the State House seems more desperate than usual. For those who live outside the Boston area, Spare Change is a homeless guy with a really husky voice and he just asks over and over "Do you have any spare change?" He probably had a proper name once (similar to Gollum who was much like a hobbit once) but even the local news stations call him Spare Change. Anyway, my point is that everyone is feeling the pinch. The election is looming near and I'm no closer to choosing a candidate than I am to choosing between dying by fire or ice. Obama wants to eliminate my entire industry soooooo he'd put me out of a job but John McCain has a really wrinkled neck. Seriously, he looks like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz and I don't know how qualified the scarecrow would have been to run a country with no brain and all. Plus McCain's Scottish. Since I'm also Scottish it's probably a safe bet our ancestors were in opposing clans and my forebears might just roll over in their graves if I voted for the progeny of their foes. Then there's always Nader. Hmmmm, November will definitely be a difficult decision for me. Recent projections state that heating costs are going to go up this winter, no matter what type of system you use. Brent and I have our budget so tight I don't know where we'll squeeze the extra funds from. We use public transportation, take our lunches to work, only shop from coupons and a well thought-out grocery list, etc. Ayede mi! Really, it's a mess.

In spite of that grim picture, I awoke yesterday morning absolutely giddy with anticipation. At long last, it's OCTOBER!!! I'm not one of those vitamin D-addicted sun worshipers who mourns the passing of a hot, humid summer with its sweat stains, body odor and TMI scanty clothing. I much prefer to celebrate the cool, crisp sweater-weather and brilliant colors of fall. I love the prelude to hunkering down during the bitter winter when staying in with a cup of hot chocolate and a good book are ideal. Ooooh yes, the beginning of October means that fall has officially arrived. I started off the 1st by getting "rabbits" which means I finally beat Brent to the punch and I'll have luck for the month. Liesel's 6 month birthday is today and well, I have to admit I'm proud I haven't done any irreversible damage yet. She's alive and what's more, she seems happy! *pats self on back* I must be doing something right. Later this month is my birthday and while it might be childish, I can't help but be excited for that too. Not that I expect outlandish gifts (although that Coach bag I've been crushing on for a month would be nice Brent) but it's SUCH a great day for me. On my birthday friends and family call, email, text and just make me feel more loved and cherished than on any other day of the year. I'm already thrilled to my toes about it. As of this posting, the Red Sox are up 4 to 1 against Anaheim. Call me crazy, but baseball is just better in October... especially for a Red Sox fan. Especially when the Yankees didn't even make it to the playoffs. Especially when we got along just swimmingly without Manny. I hope he's happy with his tiara collection there in LA.

With the fall comes some of my favorite outdoor activities like apple-picking and the maize maze. Halloween is at the end of the month and I can't remember EVER being so revved up for it! My sister Reagan sent me a costume she used for her girl last year and it is SO. DANG. CUTE! Liesel's going to be a Boston lobster for Halloween. The outfit is freaking adorable with her red hair. I seriously have to contain myself when she's in it or I'd hug her to death... "Ooooooh my sweet little baby lobster!" Did I mention Reagan also gave me her Gymbucks which are to be spent between October 2 and 12th? I can add them to my Gymbucks and voila, I have $50 of free baby clothing from my favorite baby clothing store. That's like putting Dracula in charge of the blood bank! Dunkin Donuts is bringing back their pumpkin glazed doughnut and pumpkin muffin. They both taste like all that's good in the world, baked into a delicious treat, covered in happiness, with a hint of ginger and bliss, then served with joy. Oh I almost forgot! We have daylight savings this month so I get to sleep in!!! No wait, or do we lose an hour? Hmmmm, and I think maybe Bush moved it to November? Okay, scratch that. Maybe I'll write that in as an issue on my ballot when I vote. I want daylight savings back in October. Anyway, my point is not to Pollyanna out on all you. I'm just saying that with the gallon of acid there's a pinch of sugar here and there. Oh how sweet it is!

Have You Seen the One With the Guy and That Other Guy?

Have you ever spent an evening hanging out with some good friends and the conversation flows from Stradivarius to P. Diddy's jet to Nursery politics and the minutes just tick by until before you know it you're watching Internet videos of random things and it's midnight but it's all so funny you just can't stop? This one is for you Scott and Libby.

Breast Milk Ice Cream Naming Contest

I got this off of my oh so awesome sister-in-law's blog which got me to thinking, what would you name ice cream that's made of breast milk? Ben & Jerry's tends to be a bit avant-garde in their titles so I immediately thought of Nursing Neapolitan, Dulce de la Leche League and Lactation Lime as pilot flavors. Under the circumstances perhaps Pushy PETA Pistachio would work as well. What would YOU name it (be creative! not crass!)? The winner gets public acknowledgement that I think they're cool. I wonder if they'd have to change the tag line of "Vermonts Finest All Natural" because it could be considered sexual harassment? They's also have to screen for women with breast augmentation to be able to support the claim "all natural".

September 23, 2008

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield,

Cofounders

Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's.Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America's number one cause of death.Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can't produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can't even turn around.The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Tracy Reiman

Executive Vice President

As Far As It Is Translated Correctly...

This is from Comedy Central's Joke of the Day which I get on my iGoogle reader:

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages.

After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original handwritten script.
The angel librarian hears a loud scream, and goes running toward its source only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, shaking and crying. "The R! They left out the R!" "What do you mean?" the angel librarian asks. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"

My Two Cents

Today I finished Breaking Dawn, the last of the Twighlight series. First of all I have to give a HUGE shout out to Brent who silently took Liesel so I could curl up and read. He never once complained and went so far as to patiently listen to MY complaining when the plot took a turn I didn't like. So here's a quick rundown of my opinion on the series (Spoiler Alert!):

Bella--Would you like some cheese with that whine? Seriously, I wouldn't be irritated that everyone's trying to make her so happy if she seemed to deserve it and weren't such a crybaby. She drove me insane the entire time. Waaaaah I want to be with Edward. Waaaaaah but I don't want to get married. Waaaaah I want Jacob around too. Waaaaaah I can't understand why they don't get along. Waaaaaah I don't like people giving me hot cars and designer clothes. Waaaah why are people looking at me on my wedding day? Waaah Waahh Wahhhh!!! I was a little disconcerted to find myself understanding her character in the final book. Her sentiments about not knowing how much she wanted a baby until she was pregnant were exactly how I felt. It kind of bothered me to be on the same wavelength with her but I'll stop complaining so I can get off it. In the movie, her role should be played by Tonia Harding.

Jacob--Let's just rename him Bitter Betty. Initially I didn't like the story from his perspective. You can only hear names like "bloodsucker" "leach" and such so many times and GET OVER Bella already! He should have come up with some more creative slams like Fangor or something. I'm glad he came around though. I wish they would have mentioned him bathing every now and again. He was always the dog sleeping in the woods and hunting elk but then he's holding a little baby? Seriously, it grossed me out. At least wash your hands Jacob! Ewe. Micheal Moore would probably do a good Jacob.

Edward--I STILL don't get what he sees in Bella. Soooooo she's really worth risking your life, your daughter's life, your families lives, your friends lives and well, the vampire world at large? I just couldn't GET there with you Edward. And you would go so far as to loan her out? Uh uh, not cool. That just didn't seem to fit with your oh so proper gentlemanly demeanor. I have to admit I asked Brent why seeing me in pain didn't cause him to also writhe in agony like Edward did. Perhaps it was at that point he started volunteering to take Liesel so I'd just finish the book. If it weren't for the loaning thing I'd give Colin Firth this one but I'll have to downgrade him to Gerard Butler. Not much of a downgrade really but Colin Firth will always be #1 for his Mr Darcy role.

Carlisle--The real hero of the book. Sort of like Lord of the Rings is kind of more about Sam than Frodo. He should have taken the chance to take down Aro and all them just for being such power-hungry lame-os. He kind of let their injustices slide which again, I thought was contrary to his nature. Take them out I say, let's see Carlisle dominate. Then he could have begun a generation of vegetarian vampires and developed a vaccine to make them human again. Yeah, I like that ending much, much better. Carlisle could be played by Sean Connery.

Feel free to disagree!

Brimfield

Mom once mentioned I have the hobbies of an old lady. She didn't mean it pejoratively and in many ways she's right. A couple of weekends ago I convinced Brent to go with me to Brimfield for the largest antique show in the nation. It's held 3 times a year and the next show isn't until the spring so this was the last chance for a while. I couldn't believe how huge it was and after hours of searching the tents for finds I think we were able to see perhaps 25% of it. Some highlights:

This sign actually makes me want to drink. Don't you want to get down with the Hooya pig and sip some jiggity liquor? Come on, you know you do. Everyone else is doing it... even the livestock. We saw this on the way into downtown Brimfield and couldn't stop joking about it so we snapped a picture on the way out. If anyone can tell what's on the pig's head please share! LOLOLOL! I'm still laughing when I see this. The food was another reason to attend this event because they had all kinds. It was nice to sit down for a bit to rest the legs and try something yummy and new. I think I had something Greek like a falafel or gyro or something. Brent and I shared some sort of potato curly thing with bacon bits, the fake cheddar cheese that looks like melted plastic and a huge dollop of sour cream.

I don't entirely understand this one but Brent wanted a picture. I guess Dave and Blair were the Blues Brothers or wanted to be the Blues Brothers or danced like the Blues Brothers? I dunno, take your pick I guess. Neither one of them looks like Jim Belushi so I don't know who would be who. Personally I think Dave looks like Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales and Blair looks like ... well BLAIR. Anyway, not far from here we found our favorite tent which had beautiful reproduction furniture. I like pieces that have some history and a little quirkiness to them. We were tempted by a number of items. I was happy to have a background in stained glass and quilting because a number of tents had those displayed as well. I quietly told Brent which ones I thought were worth the asking price and which ones were a rip off.

This photo just warms the cockles of my heart. Brent was pumping gas when Liesel caught sight of him through the rear window and she started laughing. A man in about his late 40's saw her and was immediately smitten. He said he had nothing but 4 boys in his house and he wished he could have had a girl. He looked at Liesel and said, "Even the DOG'S a boy!" and she cracked the biggest smile which was just adorable. As he drove off he rolled down his window and yelled, "May she have good health and happiness!" She got a lot of comments as we walked around the tents. We were definitely some of the youngest ones there.

Beach Baby

Latest photos and video of Liesel.
Our ward had a clambake last weekend at Cranes Beach in Ipswitch, MA. Liesel had a BALL on the beach as shown by the photos. I've also never seen a baby crash so hard afterward. Brent moved her briefly to prop up her little head with a sweater and she looked at him like waking her up for that was SO not worth it. I'm glad he caught a photo.

Also general cute outfit photos (thanks for the hand-me-downs Reagan!), bootie in the air asleep photos, in love with her own reflection photos, sucking on her feet and just out of the shower looking like a fuzzy baby chick photos. One day after work she kept grabbing at my Coach scarf so I finally tied it around her head and I rather like the effect. "Super Baby" is also in there.

Pipe Dream

Over the long weekend Brent and I packed up our little kumquat and headed south to visit Mom and Dad. Initially when we began making these trips we intended to use their tiny mission apartment as home base while we made forays into Manhattan. Silly as it may seem, we're now content to just hang out and chat with them while we're there. Well, as long as we can make it to Irving's for some melt-in-your mouth pastrami for lunch that is :) On this particular weekend Dad had some other ideas since there just happened to be an antique car show across the road from the mission office. It was inevitable, we had to go.

You have to understand that growing up I was a regular at what's known as a swap meet. In my adulthood I now understand this is where those aficionados of collector cars assemble to seek out various rare car parts as well as other period memorabilia. As a kid however, it was nothing but seemingly endless miles of oily, rusty car parts laid out on the grass while the sea of beer-belly buffalo plaid milled about. "No Refunds" was often posted at the entrance. There was a reason. It looked like a bulimic, cancerous car had thrown up its insides. I suppose I should have learned patience while Dad perused these apparently priceless items but I have to admit I hated it. Car shows were marginally better, at least all those parts were put together inside the brightly colored and perfectly polished cars. Still, as a little girl they weren't exactly the stuff of fairy tales.

It's with this background that I went to the car show with my parents and my little family. The show was indeed impressive with miles of classic cars. Mom wanted to play a game, which car would YOU want to go home with? She began to tell me how they decided on all their classic cars: the '31 Model A, the '56 Thunderbird and the '66 Mustang. Mom pointed out the low riders and told me how they're "not our thing." Dad took me under his wing and as we walked past the open hoods he showed me how to pick out the spark plugs. He showed me the difference between a V-6, a V-8 and a straight 6. Dad pointed out the carburetors and told me the power of an engine comes from being able to pull the fuel in and out most efficiently. The word "piston" made it in there somewhere but to be honest, he lost me at that point. Mom mentioned that if you looked around, you saw a lot of gray hair. Like so many hobbies, this one seems to have lodged itself largely with the Baby Boomer generation.

As we headed back towards the entrance I was thoroughly enjoying myself despite the heat and humidity. Brent and Liesel, the two human furnaces, were positively roasting but even they seemed to be having a good time. As we rounded the last corner, there it was: a 1957 white Thunderbird being raffled off. After the miles of beautiful cars I couldn't help myself, I bought the smallest allowable book of tickets. Mom passed behind me and whispered, "I think I've seen that in other shows" which was her gentle way of really saying, "I can't see gambling for beans and if you plunk down that $10 it's going to hurt my Scotch." True, true... but a girl can dream, can't she?

Liesel Grace August 26 Pictures

More Pictures and Videos of Liesel

Enjoy

The Five Stages of Insomnia

Stage One: Denial
I'm barely aware of Brent getting ready to go to the temple. Since Liesel entered our lives, I've been released as an ordinance worker but Brent is still desperately needed. They're always short on men and Spanish speakers so the Boston temple made an exception in his case. Somewhere in the early morning fog of semi-consciousness, I think I hear him whisper, "No no, go back to sleep. Mom needs more sleep." He turns on our sound machine to "ocean" and quietly kisses me goodbye. I recede back into the fog. Sometime later I hear Liesel moving around beside me. She's kicking off the sheets and making her little baby grunts. I stay very still. Like a ravenous bear, I figure if I don't move she won't think I'm alive. It seems she senses this foolish thinking and will have none of it. In the next second she has a wad of my hair in her tiny, delicate, impossibly powerful fist and she's blowing me raspberries.

Stage Two: Anger
Why did we let her go to sleep at 7PM last night? Was it just too tempting for us to have a date night--just the two of us with a pizza and our latest Netflix movie? Why oh why couldn't we have roused her at 8:30... just for a couple of hours, before she went down for the night? For various reasons I've had a rather rough week at work. I've been looking forward to sleeping in since TUESDAY! Can't I even have another 20 minutes of sweet, blissful unconsciousness? I untangle my hair from Liesel's hand and roll over to look at her. She cracks a ginormous smile at seeing I'm awake and laughs heartily.

Stage Three: Bargaining
I change her diaper, feed her, feed her again, take off her onesie (she likes to be as nude as possible... I'm hoping she outgrows this tendency before adolescence), I rub her back, give her the pacifier, etc. I'm pulling out every trick in the book to get her back to sleep. Meanwhile Liesel is incredibly alert; looking around our bedroom as if she's never seen it before and everything is just fascinating. She's chatting with me and letting out her delighted squeals, laughing and cooing. Every time I give her the binkie she promptly spits it out and blows raspberries at me. It takes a few tries before I realize she thinks this is a game.

Stage Four: Depression
Reality has set in; I've been up for an hour now and it's clear I'm not going back to sleep. Perhaps I'll get a nap this afternoon? Riiiiight, who are we kidding? If I'm lucky Brent will be home by 2. I have a list of To Do items as long as my arm. Some of them are non-negotiable like laundry which HAS to get done today or like Liesel ,we'll all be essentially nude. In her play, Liesel manages to scratch her own face and make a tiny cut on her nose. She begins sobbing dramatically. Poor girl, this isn't her fault. After all, this is the time she usually gets up. We've so very carefully adhered to a schedule that supposedly infants thrive on. My dreams (no pun intended) of sleeping in fade in light of my new agenda for the morning. I'm not exactly sure what's on that agenda, but I do know Liesel is the author.

Stage Five: Acceptance
In spite of all this, Liesel has a way with my heart strings. It's difficult to turn her down when she wants to cuddle and play. Okay, so sleep isn't all THAT essential. Maybe I will get a nap in this afternoon! Brent will be dying to see her when he comes home and I'll be free to slip under the covers and catch up on my shut eye. In this moment of surrender I tickle Liesel's back and notice she's laying very still and rubbing her eyes on occasion. Within minutes she's fast asleep. *sigh* Now about that laundry...

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

I was inspired to do this post by Reagan, Katrina, Lisa and Joey who all did one for themselves. It took me about a week to come up with all these but I bet even those who know me very well will find something surprising in this list.

99 Things About Me:

99. I believe American Idol is a scam that will someday be exposed.
98. One significant event that has had a major impact on my life is watching people die from a horrific car accident when I was in college. I held a little girl named Jennifer Lopez while the rescue crew did their work with the rest of the family.
97. I admit that I’m legitimately OCD in many ways: I only eat Mike n Ikes in twos and they have to be the same color. If I have a bunch of unmatched ones at the end of a box I throw them away.
96. Lawn ornaments make me sad.
95. I think black people who have the incredibly dark skin are the most beautiful people on earth.
94. I still miss our Old English Sheepdog, Crosby.
93. My left ankle has a sliding tendon which constantly cracks. It’s really loud in the temple.
92. The two semesters at BYU after my mission were some of the hardest of my life. I feel very dark when I think of that time.
91. When I was younger I hated my sister Katrina. Everyone in the family always said we’d grow up to be best friends and I thought they were all being mean for suggesting such a thing.
90. My sister Katrina is one of my best friends and I can talk to her for HOURS. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders.
89. I’m told at least monthly I look exactly like someone else.
88. I’m incredibly embarrassed by my handwriting. In the past I’ve practiced for hours to try and make it better but to no avail.
87. My biggest fear is of Liesel dying.
86. My blood type is B+ just like my mom.
85. Berry Berry Kicks make me inexplicably happy.
84. I’m a laundry detergent snob. I have different detergents for whites, darks, delicates and permanent press. I never use bleach but my whites are amazingly white.
83. Brent’s opinion of me matters more to me than anyone else on earth.
82. When I complained about something as a child my mom would always tell me that was just my “Crossta Bear.” It made me wonder what I’d done with this alleged bear. Was it like a teddy bear? Had I lost it? What did it look like? I was about 17 when I found out she was saying “cross to bear.”
81. Ipso facto is one of my favorite Latin phrases.
80. Most of my childhood memories are of being sick with asthma.
79. Since my mission I love spicy foods and I add salt and pepper to just about every meal.
78. I take my friendships very seriously.
77. I wish I could cook well and I’m trying to learn but it definitely doesn’t come naturally.
76. Every so often I think of my dream house and I can picture the rooms and the décor in my mind.
75. I believe girls who claim to be low-maintenance are actually high-maintenance. You’d have to be at least high maintenance enough to mention something about your level of maintaining.
74. Once I went to visit my brother Joey and family and he answered the door with a gun in his hand. He thought I was a burglar even though I knocked on the front door.
73. When I cry in front of Brent he always kisses my tears away.
72. I firmly believe in buying quality and taking care of what you have; even if it wasn't very expensive, take good care of it!
71. I generally don’t like men who wear dress shoes with tassels on them. I believe men who wear tassels tend to be as… uhm jerks :)
70. Wal-Mart is evil and I refuse to shop there.
69. I wish I’d been close to my mission presidents. I don’t think either of them knew me much beyond my weekly numbers.
68. I’m allergic to the natural sugar in fruit. I especially can’t eat cantaloupe, honeydew or watermelon.
67. When I see a cute guy without a wedding ring I imagine which of my fabulous, single girlfriends I'd like to see him with.
66. My eyes have a ring of dark blue right next to the pupil so I always look dilated.
65. I'm a bridge burner.
64. It's harder for me to give up cheese than chocolate.
63. I try to consider people's intentions before their actions.
62. My brother Logan let me drive the van to seminary before I had a permit. I hit the side of a bridge and cracked the rim of the tire. Logan took the heat for me.
61. My nails grow ridiculously fast and they rarely break.
60. On my mission I trained 5 times in a row. I was exhausted but I loved those girls!
59. Report cards from grade school note that I had a tendency to be "moody."
58. Brent was the first guy I dated that I knew could possibly break up with me. Before he came along I was the one to end every other relationship.
57. I envy and admire every one of my siblings for different reasons. They all motivate me to be the best person I can possibly be.
56. You can take the girl out of Iowa but you'll never take the Iowa out of this girl.
55. I've been off of caffeinated drinks for 3 years.
54. I still crave a coke with lemon; especially on hot days.
53. I drank a lot of coke with lemon when I was at BYU.
52. Lists make my world go 'round! I'll put something on a list like "breathe in and out" just so I can check it off.
51. Once I went to a BYU alumni event and failed to notice it was business dress. That was the same day as our company Hawaiian-themed party and I showed up in a bright, red, hibiscus-print dress.
50. I believe you can learn something valuable from everyone.
49. I'll always love my nephew Noah for calling me "Dankas" when he was younger.
48. Asking for help is very hard for me.
47. Breaking both my arms was one of the most humbling experiences of my life.
46. I begin buying Christmas presents in July and have bought as early as February.
45. When I people-watch I think about what I'd do to them if I could give them a makeover.
44. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone doesn't erase the chalkboard completely.
43. I believe happiness is a state of mind and not a set of circumstances.
42. In one of my harder BYU classes, the professor sprung a pop-quiz on us. I couldn't answer any of the questions so at the bottom I wrote, "Okay you caught me, I wasn't prepared for class today! At least I came anyway :)" He gave me points for it.
41. I don't care if I'm not my parent's favorite child (although they don't play favorites so it's never been an issue).
40. I think Pleasures for Men by Estee Lauder is one of the sexiest scents.
39. I'm a true road warrior and traveling is my passion.
38. I rarely buy anything over $50 without checking Consumer Reports first.
37. In Jr. High I had both a Typing teacher and Wood Shop teacher who were missing fingers.
36. While driving around town I make mental notes of all the gas prices so I can get the cheapest possible.
35. I know the church is true.
34. We had a lace tablecloth that as a kid I'd drape around myself and pretend I was a princess. My sister made fun of me for doing it until one day I caught her in it. She'd probably still deny this.
33. If you look around enough you'll notice there's a lot of loose change on the ground. I'm always picking up pennies, dimes, nickles and the occasional quarter.
32. On the way to one of my last OB-GYN appointments I spotted a dime but I was so big it was hard to bend over and pick up. Brent noticed and quickly picked it up for me. It might sound cheesy but I fell in love with him all over again.
31. I've stared at the Tiffany stained-glass windows in New York's Museum of Fine Arts for hours.
30. I'd love to write a book with my mom.
29. I'd love to go to Denmark with my dad.
28. I cry every time I see She's Having a Baby.
27. In my experience, money spent on flowers is never wasted.
26. Cats hate me just as much as I hate them.
25. I think scrubs make the best pajamas.
24. I believe in love at first sight.
23. My Meyers-Briggs profile is ENTJ (extrovert, intuition, thinking, judgment). I scored very high on the J.
22. My true colors profile is gold and it fits me perfectly.
21. I'll do just about anything for American Airlines frequent flyer miles.
20. I still hold utensils between my first and second finger rather than my thumb and first finger (residual habit from when my arms were broken).
19. If I could go back and do high school again I'd take an auto mechanic class and join the bowling team.
18. Ashley Judd is my idol.
17. I cannot walk downstairs with my left foot first. I have to start with my right.
16. I turned my whole family on to iPods. I've given every family one except Logan's and my parents who bought their own.
15. Learning a foreign language is very difficult for me.
14. Writing papers and essays is super easy for me. I even got an A for an A.P. English paper about a book I never read.
13. It bothers me when someone says they didn't have time to do something. You can make anything happen if you really want to, even with limited time. They're really saying it just wasn't a big priority for them.
12. I had my first smell of marijuana at a Paul McCartney concert when I was 14.
11. Liesel's laugh is the most magical thing to me.
10. My Dad still yells at me if he sees me go out in the cold without a coat because of my asthma.
9. I remember when my brother Joey graduated from high school and he spoke at the ceremony. He mentioned the number 88 is the same backwards, forwards and on its side. I was only 11 but I thought that was really profound.
8. I can roll my tongue and am a PTC taster.
7. I have a huge fear of needles. I'd like to punch anyone who says a certain type of shot "doesn't hurt." I don't have a fear of pain, I have a fear of needles. I can't even look at them.
6. When I gave birth to Liesel the anesthesiologist was a complete idiot. I had to have 3 numbing shots and he tried to go in 5 times with the epidural before he got it right. Once he left the room I cried.
5. Abnormal Psychology was my favorite class in High School. My teachers Mrs. Rogers inspired me to major in Psychology in college.
4. I was never interested in the history of American wars until I read Killer Angels.
3.When I tracted with my greenies on the mission, I used to pretend I didn't speak any Spanish so they'd have to do all the talking. It made some of them really mad which just made it funnier to me.
2. I'm shocked to hear my voice played back to me. It's the most annoying voice I've ever heard.
1. I can fly in my dreams.

Surprised by anything? Okay Brent, now it's your turn!