wow it's been so long since i blogged.frankly, it's because there's nothing to say.my life,as usual,is a bore.some ppl vent their frustrations,let out their feelings on theirs. i, for one, prefer to keep them to myself.i wonder,does anyone even come to this blog anymore?i doubt so.even i don't bother coming to this blog now,with the exception of this moment now.so since i'm here,i shall write a post,just because.

so..haven't blogged since 6 march.back then,all that was on my mind was A level results. almost 2 months later, A level results get already.lousy or average, i don't know.satisfied, contented, thinking that it could at least get me into a decent course. now, uni application. ppl have been getting their acceptance letters,but i have yet to receive mine. kinda stress. even more stress than waiting for a level results.oh well,all i can say is, this is my fault. my lackadaisical approach to life, studies in particular. all the ifs. if i had blabla, the list can continue for all i care. but i can't change the past, and i can only shape my future. but if i don't get a uni course soon, i don't have a plan B. and as for my future, one word would prettty much sum it up. bleak. sigh. better hope and pray, i get my uni results one of these days.

so..it's around 14.5 hours left before A level results get released. and apparently the stress and pressure has gotten to me,forcing me to shed my calm exterior and then in comes a plethora of emotions, ranging from excitedness to downright terrified. oh well i guess that's life. when the teachers and students keep going around during school saying "eh results on fri!" and the students with their "excited not?nervous?scared?" kinda gets to u. but when the students say goodluck like awww.hahaha.oh well...i guess tmr is gonna be tough ah trying to do my job. so many things on the mind. sigh.

march holidays in 2 weeks.1 week of rest.but 1 week of no pay.all u ppl taking results tmr...GOOD LUCK EH!

i'm alive.barely.omg school has been super hectic and all and don't believe the advertisements on teaching.it's utter bullshit rubbish. a class of students listening attentively as the teacher goes thru the lessons, ever so interested with enquiring minds thristy for knowledge. in all honestly, that has never happened, at least not in my teaching stint so far.being the patient guy i am,i tend to let alot of things pass without batting an eyelid, knowing that,as a student,i myself get pretty restless.yet students take my patience as my weakness (i think it is too) and this week i forced myself to actually come out and unleash some rage on an unsuspecting class. just to let them know they thread abit to deep waters and there is indeed a threshold to their defiance and that indeed, i am still in charge.yet i feel that, those who were listening (only 10%) of the class didn't deserve that, 100% of my effort for 10% returns is kinda horrible. furthermore those not listening will ask the same questions,and i have to repeat alot of times.VERY SICKENING.then others who sleep/talk during the time i explaining, when time to do work,say i never teach,that i give answer only.NEVER LISTEN SAY I NEVER TEACH. URGH ANNOYING AH.

yet i reflect.was i once like that?yes i had a stubborn/defiant streak,i didn't do homework,but i never questioned any teacher's qualifications, neither did i openly defy or be rude to teachers.and i so knew when to stop whatever i was doing before the teacher would get pissed.but these students..i guess they don't realize it.so i guess i should be more strict.i dread the day i lose my temper for real, i hope it won't come, but it's gonna be ugly.even if i can't use vulgarities or violence, words are still powerful and a verbal tirade would be enough. provided they get it,given their poor command of the english language.

A LEVEL RESULTS WHEN SIA!!!!i need to think about my career plan!!

i hate spraining my fingers.and this time i sprained 3.nice one. that's really all i wanted to say..

back to sch tmr.hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.just when it was getting better,i think it's about to get worse.haha.sheesh

woo first post of 2009.wat made me revive this partially dead blog?well i'm bored.sitting here in damai sec classroom as the students finish the worksheet their real teacher assigned them.well being a relief teacher has gone both ways.certain classes will switch off the moment they see one of the relief teachers walk in.the age diff(or the lack of it) also means that there could be a lack of respect.maybe i'm too frenly for this.oh well relief teaching is quite tiring but good experience.makes me kinda miss sch.and appreciate teachers more.

hm.sometimes(like now) when i'm doing nothing, i often will have an epiphany. ok maybe not so much and epiphany, but just a random thought comes about. well today's random thought just happened to be that i have no life outside soccer. more often than not,when various groups of friends ask me out, it's for SOCCER. eh khy soccer this sat?or, eh we need a keeper,free on ____?well, not that i mind,but really, is that all i'm needed for?well if it is,well damn.yes i do like soccer,yes i don't mind playing goalie for whatever team,but i really feel kinda like all ppl need me for is soccer,and i'm not even that good.

but hey,i'm not saying don't invite me for any more soccer sessions,this is just a random rambling that came to my mind.honestly,i don't mind just playing soccer and catching up during breaks.ah,wtf la,i shall just go back to my mundane life and get a job soon, before starting the whole getting nervous as results day approaches and then start seriously thinking about my future which up till now i have no idea what i want to do with my life.well good luck to me for that.have a good life ppl!

ytd evening had 06s18 class outing.and gotta admit,it was fun.i'll just spare the details,mainly cos i'm just lazy,but it just reminds me of what a great class 06s18 was.haha i miss them too!too bad hakim in brunei and a few others didn't come,but we still had lots of fun and catching up. yay.