I WANT TO BE LIKE DYSIE

Goodfather of Goodfather Blog asked a question the other day. Faced with the possibility of losing his job in a failing economy and seeing it as an opportunity to reinvent himself, he asked, "Are you doing what you want? If you could choose anything for a job, what would it be?" I commented with lightning speed as I usually do without giving it much thought but the question has haunted me. It comes in the middle of the night. It whispers in my ear while I'm driving down the turnpike. I'm being haunted by the Goodfather Ghost.

I have a great job. I am blessed with an employer that appreciates me and my abilities. I would be a fool if I didn't see that alone as the gift that it is. I would be an even bigger fool to even consider a voluntary career change while we are experiencing this temporary economic slump. (I am nothing if not a cockeyed optimist.) But still the question is begging to be answered properly. When I was younger, I always thought that I wanted to be a teacher. Fortunately for me and my would-be students I realized early on that I really only like good kids. Don't get me wrong, I love mischievous kids. I love the stinkers. Who I can't tolerate are the disrespectful, smart mouth (imagine that) kids that are so prevalent in today's schools. I don't know but I'm pretty sure you have to teach them all, not just the good ones. I am proud to say that my oldest daughter is a teacher and my youngest is currently majoring in elementary education. They are both better women than I will ever be.

I took an English elective in high school called Write On. Each day we were instructed to write an essay. Almost everyone who took the class became frustrated with writing an essay every single day. Not me, I loved it. The thought of pursuing writing as a career never occurred to me. I didn't go to college. I got my MRS. Degree right out of high school. I didn't take the opportunity to explore my options. Not that it matters much as I don't think I possess the talent of a true writer. But the bug persists.

Once I had kids, I was always telling them that I was going to write a book. Whenever some silly moment would present itself, D2 would often comment jokingly, "I bet she's going to put this in her book." I have the outline for a children's book completed. The book itself will probably go to the grave with me. I am always scouting locations for writing. I found the perfect location on our trip out west. We came upon one of the most serene, breath taking places on the planet and stopped for pictures and a rest for the buttocks. The thought popped into my head to send the others on their way and I could just stay there in that lovely spot on a blanket of soft cushy grass instead of a brick that posed as a motorcycle seat and write my long awaited book. Of course I didn't even mention this to anyone else because no one ever takes me seriously when I talk about writing including myself.

Now remember that Goodfather's question didn't include anything about qualifications. He simply asked, what would I do if I could do anything I wanted. I guess my answer would have to be that I want to write. I can't believe I just said that out loud! Or… umm… in print?

So a writer I will be. The following is a list of ways I can feed my passion while not giving up my day job:

• I've become a blogger. What? You hadn't heard? Oh yeah, I'm big into blogging. And I have followers. Ten, I think. I'm not sure what that means though. I keep looking over my shoulder and I never see them.
  
• I can write complaint letters to companies whose customer service is less than satisfactory.
  
• I can continue my daily email war with Nole Boy while coming up with new and better ways to entertain, amaze, WOW and frustrate him with my musical preferences.
  
• And last (seriously, last) but not least, I can write my own obituary. HUH? I came across this delightful obituary in the Palm Beach Post. (I don't read the obits, I get feeds in my Google reader) I want to be like Dysie. I never knew this woman but I want to be like her. (And it wouldn't suck to have her money either) Without further ado, I give you, Dysie…..***drumroll, please***
  

Palm Beach Daily News

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dysie Davie, a longtime Palm Beach resident, died Saturday, leaving behind a fabulous obituary that she wrote herself. We couldn't imagine doing a better job for her than she did for herself.

Here it is, in its entirety, unedited.

"Diana Marion Wing Davie, 'Dysie,' passed away at her home in Palm Beach on November 15. Mrs. Davie was born in New York City, New York, and the date is no one's damn business. Dysie survived all four husbands, namely to wit: John Kress "Jake" Williams, "Hot Dog" Chandore, Craig Mitchell, and last, but not least, E.T. Bedford "Buddy" Davie. Dysie credits this to lots of partying, full-bodied wines, expensive vodka, and dealing with everyday life and people, no matter what you are dealt.

"Dysie and her last husband, Buddy, of 44 years (the longest lasting of all four marriages) owned and managed '343' on Worth Avenue, an exquisite custom jewelry and objects d'art emporium. Mrs. Davie, responsible for all custom jewelry designs, was never given full recognition due to Buddy always taking credit for her ideas. Mrs. Davie was a member of the Sailfish Club, the B&T, and the Everglades Club in Palm Beach. Dysie will be well-remembered for her engaging sense of humor, her gracious generosity, and her fabulous luncheons at the Sailfish Club and dinner parties at home for her many friends. Kassatly's Inc. thanks her mostly for her generosity.

"She is survived by her son, Stuart Wing Williams, his wife Jill, and their entire brood; stepchildren E.T. Bedford Davie Jr. and Deidre Davie Quonbeck, their spouses, children, grandchildren, and whatever doodley dums are out there.

"Mrs. Davie will be interred in the family plot in Willowbrook Cemetery in Westport, Conn., across the street from her beloved Buddy, as a plot next to him was not made available. Donations to be made to Dysie's household staff, namely; Helen Grenier, house manager extraordinaire; Diane Kirkham, daily shopping companion; Nancy Roach, Peggy Kelly and Suzanne Beck, outstanding nursing team; and Brenda Woodward, weekly party organizer."

Wasn't she FABULOUS!

***Note***

I hope that I won't get in trouble for copying this from the newspaper into my blog. If this is a problem, let me know quick so I can pull it. Do you think they would let me bring my laptop to jail?

SMART MOUTH CORNBREAD (Spoon Bread)

Don't be confused by the lime. There is no lime in the recipe. That was for the Corona.

***Note***
Jan tells me that this is actually Spoon Bread and not cornbread. I will defer to her expert opinion and have edited my original title to reflect the correction. Spoon bread or cornbread, either way, it's yummy, easy, easy and I hope you'll try it.

I got this recipe from a former co-worker/friend who is an African-American woman. At the time, her husband had just returned from serving in the military overseas. Upon his return, their church had a welcome home party for him. Our whole office was invited. Our table consisted of all white people and we were the only white people in the church. We were hard not to notice.

During the ceremony, each table was asked to have one representative speak to or about this honored soldier. Our office manager was supposed to speak but she didn't show. I was the business office manager and next in the chain of command, therefore elected to speak for our group.

On Monday morning, my friend told me that the women from her church had asked about who that white woman was with a butt like a black woman. She told them that I was the business office manager and her friend. She then proceeded to tell them that not only did I have a butt like a black woman but I have the heart of a black woman and can cook like a black woman. I have no idea what that means but I know it was a compliment. That was the day she gave me her cornbread recipe.

This cornbread is so moist; I usually eat it with a spoon. It does hold together but is very moist and sweet. If you like your cornbread dry and not very sweet, you should skip this recipe.

2 boxes Jiffy cornbread mix (Don't be judgin' me because it's a box) I've tried making it from scratch and it never turns out as good.

2 eggs

2 heaping Tablespoons full of sour cream (I'm talking about a real table spoon here, like for soup. Not a measuring spoon.)

1 small can cream of corn

A splash of milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees farenheit

Stir until all ingredients are evenly mixed but be careful not to overmix. The batter will be lumpy. Spray cooking spray into 8x8 baking pan. Pour batter into pan and smoothe mixture evenly. Bake for 25 minutes. A toothpick should come out clean when done.

This is very easy. Remember do not follow the box instructions. I'm sorry that I can't be more specific with the measurements. I can only tell you that I've made this hundreds of times and I'm sure my measurements are never the same twice. It always works.

Enjoy.

NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT

There's a little nip in the air. All across the country we hear tell that winter is approaching. I don't think the temperature got up to 70 degrees farenheit here today. Now before you go sending me hate mail and leaving comments about how I'm such a biatch for complaining about great weather, let's be clear: I'm not complaining. In fact I love it! I'm simply stating that it's getting cooler/colder all across the country and Canada too. I know this because My Harley Stud gives me a weather report for the location of pretty much every friend and relative we have every morning.

What is it about middle age men and their fascination with the weather? When D2 was getting ready to go off to college, D1 informed her that, "Every telephone conversation you have with Daddy will start with: So what's the weather like there?" It's not just MHS either. I call my Daddy almost every day on my way home from work. Almost without fail, every conversation will include the difference between the weather here and where he lives, 200 miles north of here. Both MHS and the Biker Nazi have downloaded special weather applications to their phones so they can easily check the weather conditions any where they please. And they please to check them everywhere everyday. My brother, Smitty, watches the weather channel on Maui and if he sees a storm anywhere in the state of Florida, he will call to make sure I'm OK. I have a cousin, BoBo, who drives cross country for a living and he also is a weather channel fan. I guess that should be expected in his line of work though. My point is that every man I know of middle age and up fancies themselves as some sort of meteorologist. I almost forgot to mention our friend, Wolfgang Johnny, who actually is the chief meterologist of our local news station. We blame him for every crappy day we have. And the poor guy gets no credit when the weather is good.

The funny thing about cooler weather when you live in Florida is that we have so few opportunities to wear our winter clothes. So if the temperature dips into the 60's you will see everyone's leather jackets and boots, wool sweaters and scarves. Yeah we bundle up like it's a daggone blizzard because we know this may be all the cool weather we get and we have to wear every piece of winter apparel that we own while we can. It's pretty funny because usually by noon, everyone is mellllllttttting. Layers, people, it's all about layers.

With the cooler weather upon us, MHS and I love a fire in the fire place. It's so cozy. It doesn't take too much of a drop of the mercury for us to turn off the a/c, open the windows and build a roaring fire in the fireplace.

A few days ago Daddy mentioned that Daisy made a Hoosier specialty for dinner: Beans and cornbread. Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar mentioned black eyed peas and cornbread the other day too. Between the two of them, I started to long for, crave and dream of a big pot of ham and beans and buttery cornbread. I'm pretty sure my cornbread recipe is the best in the world. No lie! I thought about posting the recipes for these two delectable concoctions but I'm not sure that I am not just one of a few people that like this sort of comfort food. MHS loves the cornbread but is not a big fan of beans unless it's chili. So if you're interested, let me know and I will share. Be warned though, I measure nothing.

I'm still trying to shake this stupid cold and skipped the gym today so I thought that enjoying some comfort food and relaxing by a nice fire might be just the ticket to cure what ails me. That and the Airborne that Midlife Slices and D1 keep pushing on me. *wink* Love ya, ladies! And PS neither one of them bothered to tell me how terrible it tastes!

So if you need me, I'll be right here.

NEW GIRL IN TOWN

Because NEPOTISM is my middle name, I would like to announce that my dear cousin, QTPie, has started a blog, Indiana Homegrown. Isn't that exciting!

Please stop by QTPie's place and say hello!

HIP HOP BOOTY for beginners

It was back to Hip Hop Booty after work today. I have to tell you: THIS.CLASS.IS.SO.MUCH.FUN. The class is led by P & J. Their styles are completely different and yet both awesome. They are really good sports as well. I spoke to them prior to class and explained that I blog and wanted to take pictures. I even asked them to show off a little extra for the camera. After answering several questions (like: Do you do it for a company? NO. Do you do it for money? NO. How many hits do you get in a day? Oh...uh...thousands. *cough, cough, cough* Why do you do it? I have absolutely no idea but I love it.) They promised that they would show off for me but not tonight. You see, P is preparing for some sort of fitness competition and was completely wiped out. He said he would just be consulting and not teaching tonight. That and the fact that we are working on creating a new dance and because of all the starts and stops, it didn't make for good video. But not one to be easily discouraged, I did video anyway.

The class is made up mostly of young girls but I'm not always the oldest. Believe me when I say that I am NO GOOD at hip hop but I am improving. It's great exercise and really fun. Still, there are some moves that this tired old body just won't do. And when I try, well....it's just not pretty.

Tonight, we worked on some choreography that broke us into two groups and my group was shooting at the other group. After all the crap I've given Nole Boy for the last week about listening to thug rap, I felt like a bit of a hypocrite. I'm still no fan of the song we were using but as they used to say in American Bandstand, "It has a good beat and you can dance to it."

The video is of the same choreography we've been working on for the last few weeks but now it's slowed down and to a different song. It is supposed to help you build your skills to slow down the steps. It is more difficult to do it slowly. This was prior to the shoot 'em up that we did at the end of class. Once P gets back from competition, I'll get P&J to really show their stuff for you. Until then, here is a not so good sample of the class. As you will see, P couldn't keep himself from dancing a bit once the music started.

To what lengths will you go to embarrass yourself for the sake of fitness?