Its so funny, how this place has completely died out. In my teens a blog was so important, we kept it going as if we were getting paid. Somewhere in between work and rest, I no longer remember (nor cared) about the fact that I actually have a blog. And it actually still has views, which is pretty unbelievable.

I hate growing old, to be honest. I look back on some of my posts  in 2008 and I cringed so much, it was difficult to even reread them. But somehow I remember that was a much younger me, much more carefree and naive and so... vulnerable. As we weather through age, work, heartbreak and death, our mind and heart becomes so much more worn. No doubt, these experiences also make us so much wiser and tougher.

I didn't want this to be a melancholy post, not after a year of absence, but I guess my words can't run far from my heart. I am conflicted, unsure, I doubt and I trust, I'm afraid of getting hurt and of making decisions I will regret. I'm 25... but still very much a little girl deep down.
I'm back, and when I mean back I mean stuck in the buying makeup phase again. Its really funny cause these phases come in periodic bursts.. and I go a little crazy. I had my blush phases, and now I'm pretty happy with my collection (except Daniel Sandler... I need to get more of those watercolor babies). My lipstick phased passed too, because now I have enough Diors/Chanels/YSLs/MACs to keep me rotated and content. Those brands make the best formulations!

Recently I've been very into base products and tools. Foundations have always been a no brainer for me, I don't use anything that's not liquid (save for an interesting Shu Uemura mousse one I use for off duty days) and I only have one trusty, light, fantastic smelling liquid foundation that I use every day. For all my penchant and belief that blushes and lipsticks should be bought in an abundance of types and colors, that same belief doesn't extend to foundations. I don't get it. Base products are base, for a reason. Once I find a finish, color or texture that works for my skin, I'm good with it for years. I guss the idea of running out and swatching foundations don't particularly excite me. Plus its tiring because to be really sure it works for you you gotta get the MUA to remove your existing makeup and do it all over.. no. However I will say that Eve Lom seems to have an amazing one that I got a sample of when I was in Mecca Cosmetica in Melbourne and it has a very emollient, gel texture that blends into the skin wonderfully. Unfortunately Eve Lom here does not carry their make up range so I will wait till I travel again to get my hands on them. Heh, something to look forward to.

So!! I'm been very intrigued mostly by skin finishers, particularly loose/pressed powders and luminzers. I got the becca shimmering skin perfector (overhyped), hourglass's ambient powders, bare mineral's all over powder and am getting my excited hands on the MAC's mineralized skinfinish natural tonight! I'm incredibly eager to see how it performs cause I've heard so much good stuff about it and I got matched to a light plus last night but didn't wind up purchasing it in the end.. damn the long queue at Sephora. That's what happens when you have a three day sale! But I get to snag it at 20% off tonight so.. yum! Setting powders and skin finishers are really important in our weather because it is impossible to walk out and not have my liquid foundation melt or slide off my face in a matter of minutes. Another reason why I don't appreciate not having seasons here.

I used to think buying so many different brushes were lame. And now I have a brush holder full of them.. and boy oh boy do they make a difference. My next target: real technique's blush brush!

At this point some will roll their eyes and dismiss my ill-placed fervor in makeup. Does it really make sense to own so many blushes, so many skinfinishes and so many lipsticks? Not beyond a certain point, but one thing for sure is you can't survive with just one of each. I mean, say you found the perfect dress, wonderful figure skimming cut and gorgeous color that plays off your skin tone like a dream... but would you wear the same thing everyday? You could, obviously, but you probably don't want to. Sooner or later you'd want to find the another equally perfect dress, maybe in a different color, cut or material. Searching for the next perfect. And it's pretty much the same in makeup. It comes in much more varieties than people think - if only you understand the nuances that are in each product, finish and texture, color... the list goes on. So before you ask me something like "Do you really need so many of these", keep in mind, my answer has always been ready for you. x





I itch to be thrown in uncertainty, doubt shrouding every inch of my body.
Don't look at me with that sparkle in your eye, dancing with words unsaid and fueling desire.
For too long, we've shut ourselves off to pain because we fear it. Because we know it will devour us, inside out, till we hollow, till we are left with a shell. We build walls, fortresses, and cocoon our frail hearts and scared minds. To protect ourselves. Since young we know to run from danger, to shy from strangers, to compartmentalize pain and suffering. Hush baby, hush.