Hubby Update

Just a very quick post to let you know The Hubs' gallbladder is definitely a problem but his upper and lower endoscopic showed some minor irritation of his stomach. Gallbladder was set to come out next week but he has still been in constant pain and has been unable to eat, drink or sleep due to the pain. He was admitted to the hospital today because of the pain. He is also very dehydrated. Based on the location of the pain, the doctors think it is colitis. We're now having to wait for this to get some better so that his gallbladder can be removed. Hopefully, he'll be better soon!

ICLW & Sick Hubs

Happy ICLW! Since it's been so long since I did an introduction, I think I'll do that for this post.

I am Lynn, otherwise known as Wistfulgirl. I've been married to my fantastic husband (The Hubs) for 11 1/2 years. We spent almost 10 of those years attempting to start a family biologically, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. In 2012, we were approved as foster/adoptive parents. We received our first placement, a 22 1/2 month old little boy, on October 9, 2012. His birthmom voluntarily relinquished her rights to him in May 2013 and his birthdad's rights were terminated in October 2013. He was officially placed as an adoptive placement with us on February 6, 2014 and we finalized his adoption on March 3, 2014. He is our little Monkey =D

We had a sibling group we fostered from May 2013 until December 2013 when they moved on to an adoptive placement (we chose not to adopt them due to family being in the area and the danger associated with them).

In April 2014, we were made aware of and began visiting with a sibling group of 3 children, a boy and two girls. Upon the end of the school year, they moved in with us on May 17, 2014. Parental rights are in the process of being terminated and we are planning to adopt them. They are Prissy (13-year-old girl), The Dude (9-year-old boy) and Princess (8-year-old girl). We are in love with them and Monkey adores them! We're so excited for our family!

We're experiencing all the things we've never really done before. We're getting ready for school, which starts two weeks from today. It has been an experience buying new school clothes and supplies. I'm glad I have a year to plan for it before I have to do it again for all four children! Monkey will start Pre-K next year. Good learning experience for me though!

Sorry I went missing last week. It's been a rough week around our house. The Hubs is very sick. He's been experiencing a lot of abdominal pain for quite a while now, but it has gotten so much worse in the last week. The doctor is pretty sure his gallbladder isn't functioning properly but there is also a concern for Crohn's Disease being present. He had a Hida scan done on Friday to check the functioning of his gallbladder and he is scheduled for upper and lower endoscopies tomorrow. We don't yet have the results back from the Hida scan, but if the gallbladder isn't functioning, it will probably be removed at the same time.

It's quite probable I won't post tomorrow or get to visit any blogs due to being at the hospital with The Hubs, but I will be back ASAP and visiting! Expect me to come by your place on the web =D

Changes

Once again it seems an inordinate amount of time has passed since I last posted. Indeed, there have been lots of changes and several important things have happened since last I updated you, but I will try to make this brief. First of all, we received a call about 2 weeks ago (gah! Has it really been that long since I posted?!?!) Saying that our homestudy had been approved! Hooray!!! Our home was set to open on October 1. And open it did. However, we had no news on the girl we are hoping to adopt. We have been patiently waiting to see what was going to happen with her, but so far nothing. All was moving along fine until last Wednesday, when The Hubs woke up sick. Not the usual oh-I-don't-feel-good-think-I'll-stay-home-from-work sick, but really SICK. He had severe pains in his stomach. I made him go to the doctor - because, of course, being a man, he thought he could just force his way through debillitating pain. At the doctor, they sent him for some bloodwork, which came back with an elevated white blood cell count and elevated platelets. So he was sent for a CT scan and they thought it probable he had appendicitis. He was admitted to the hospital to await the results of the CT. Turns out he did not have appendicitis, but instead had ileitis of the terminal ileium (severe infection in his small intestines) secondary probably to either Inflammatory Bowel Disease or Crohns. They're leaning towards Crohns, but he'll have to have a colonoscopy/EGD to get a definitive diagnosis. So, we spent 4 days in the hospital. He was discharged Saturday night and we came home and resumed our quiet life. He was back at work on Monday. Yesterday I was home sick with a bad migraine headache and was laying on the couch when my phone rang with a call from our caseworker. I figured it was news on the child we want to adopt, but it turned out not to be. Instead, she explained to me that they had an almost 2 year old little boy who needed a foster placement and they were asking us if we would be willing to take him. So, I quickly hung up and called The Hubs. We discussed it and agreed, so we are now parenting an almost 2 year old for however long he needs us! Currently, this placement is only a foster placement and we do not have any idea how long he will be with us. It could be only a few days or it could be much longer. I will let you know when we know! A very quick update from a rather overwhelmed new mommy!

O - One More TIme - Daft Punk

Ah! The ultimate preparing-for-a-night-out song! I have to say, I do love me some Daft Punk! A band I discovered about 12 years ago (via the Gap commercial starring Juliette Lewis that featured their song "Digital Love"), my love was fostered by The Hubs who - for our first Christmas together - purchased the Daft Punk CD (with both songs on it) for me. One of my favourite gifts ever! Just a true feel-good album!

And the video is great as well!

G - Groovejet - Spiller featuring Sophie Ellis Bexter

This song, although one of my favs, is actually a request from The Hubs. He had to go into work for a few hours today and I went with him. While he was working, I worked on some more paperwork for the adoption, read some on my Kindle and have played music videos on Youtube. He asked me to play this song, one of the first songs I fell in love with when I moved to England, and I decided to use it as my G song for today. All in all, despite him having to go into work, it's been a pretty good day so far. Now we off to my mom's house to spend some time with her. Hope you're all having a great Saturday!

Wordless Wednesday - Where I'd Rather Be On A Cold Wednesday Morning

Day 9 - Something You're Proud Of

I thought about this post long and hard because, honestly, there are several things I could write about. I'm proud of the 4.0 GPA I'm keeping in school. I'm proud of being able to sing pretty well. I'm proud of being a good daughter to my mom and my dad before he passed away. But none of those are the thing I'm most proud about.

The thing I'm most proud of is the wonderful, amazing marriage I have! I love the fact that I can tell The Hubs anything - and I do mean anything - and he doesn't get upset or expect me to be someone I'm not. He loves me unconditionally and that's exactly the way I feel about him. We've been through so much! If we've managed to weather the storms that have faced us so far, I have no doubt we'll survive any that come our way in the future.

Don't forget to sign up for the Christmas Ornament Exchange 2011!

Day 8 - Short-Term Goals For the Month and Why

This is a good month to list my short-term goals. It's a very full month! I love November for a lot of different reasons and my goals outline most of those reasons.

1. Attend Orientation to start the certification process for Adoption/Foster Care - I am so incredibly excited as we got our official invite to orientation today! We will attend the orientation class next Tuesday evening. Hopefully, we'll know more after that meeting about the process and how long it will take. The Hubs and I are both ready for next Tuesday to get here!


2. Celebrate my 33rd birthday on 11/22 - That's right - it's nearly that time of year again. The time of year when I get another year older! The Hubs and I have some awesome plans, but since normally when I talk about our plans something screws them up, I'll save that until things are more firmed up.


3. Celebrate my 9th Wedding Anniversary with The Hubs - Yup, the day after my birthday, The Hubs and I celebrate our wedding anniversary! It is that great holiday officially known as "birthdayversary". As I stated in the previous point, we do have plans and I will share those with you soon, but not right this second ;)


4. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family - It will be the first Thanksgiving without my dad, so I just want to try to get through it without breaking down. Because of my birthday, this has always kind of been our holiday. My dad's nickname for me was "Doodle-Turkey". I really miss him. It's going to be a hard holiday, but I know he'll be here with us in spirit.


5. Get my Christmas decorations up the weekend after Thanksgiving - My eldest niece, Boop, will be coming to stay with us on Thanksgiving afternoon and will stay through the weekend. She's great at helping me get my decorations up! And, the day before Thanksgiving - my wedding anniversary - is her 18th birthday! I can't believe she's already that old! Seems so hard to believe. She and I always have a great time, though, getting my house ready for Christmas.


6. Survive the rest of the month at work until I get my semi-vacation on November 22 through November 27. I am so looking forward to that! I need a break.

That's pretty much the summary of my monthly goals! Lots to get done, but I think I'll enjoy it all =D

Day 7 - A Picture of Someone/Something That Has the Biggest Impact On You

The Hubs and our puppy (Pog) are truly the biggest impacts on my life. They are a part of every single second of my life. Everything I do is with them in mind and is considerate of how my actions would impact them.

What can I say? My biggest impact is my family =D

In the Meantime

I've told you about our possible adoption and we are very excited about that, however, after our last fail at adopting, I've become a bit more of a realist. So, I am very aware that any of a hundred dozen things can happen to stop this adoption from going through (for instance, The Hubs' boss held a meeting on Monday of this week and informed the office that, due to revenues being down, he was going to have to lay some people off. He will be telling them tomorrow who will be getting the chop. It's supposed to be only for 3 months only, but that is reliant on revenues picking up. We've been here before....The Hubs is ve3ry worried and upset, but we're trying to keep a positive outlook on things. At least this time he would be able to claim unemployment.). With that in mind, I'll tell you a bit about our plans in the meantime.

I have an appointment today with the RE. I think he'll be pleased - I've lost 16 pounds since I last saw him! I think that's pretty good going. We have decided that, should this adoption fall through, we will be using the money in my HSA account to fund an IUI before June 20, 2012. We've also got money in our savings account (and we're adding more monthly) to use, but we'll probably leave that to go towards another adoption should the IUI fail. By the time we have a definite on what's happening on the adoption front (February), I should have lost the total amount of weight Dr. O (our RE) wants me to lose so we'd hopefully be able to move on that.

We're also going to go ahead and get homestudied through the State of Georgia so we would be eligible to adopt through foster care. Our main reason for going this route is that Juno has opted to sign up to a program (which we are fully supportive of) that offers help with living expenses, maternity clothing and counseling for brithparents amongst other things. They counsel her on adoption placement as well, however, she chooses parents from a list of homestudied families approved by the State of Georgia for foster care placement. What this means is that we would be the baby's foster parents for the first year of life and then would be able to finalize the adoption after a year. We're pleased with this arrangement because it means that even if this adoption doesn't work out, we're all ready to have a child placed with us when the right match becomes available.

So, that's where we stand right now. Adoption plans being made, visiting with the RE and contingency plans in the works. We feel good about it right now. I'll update you soon on how my visit with the RE goes and what The Hubs finds out about work.

For those interested, the Fall catalog is now available on my Thirty-One Website. I appreciate any orders you make! If you're never heard of Thirty-One, be sure to check it out! It's awesome-sauce!

July ICLW

I can't believe ICLW time has rolled around again already! Seems like time is flying these days!

If this is your first visit to my humble online abode, welcome! I'm pleased to have you with me =D If you've been here before, pull up a chair and visit for a while! It's always lovely to have friends stop over!

For those who don't know me well, I'll share a bit with you. I'm Lynn, a 32-year-old Georgia girl. I'm married to The Hubs, a 35-year-old Englishman. We met online nearly 11 years ago and we married 8 1/2 years ago. We lived in England for the first 3 years of our marriage but moved to the US in January 2006. We've been here ever since!

Life has its ups and downs for us. Our move to the US hasn't always been what it's cracked up to be. The Hubs was out of work for a 16 month period just over a year ago and, once he finally found a new job, it is not what he would like to be doing, nor does it use his degree at all. In addition to that, we've been on a fruitless 7 1/2 year journey to start a family. We've never even seen a positive HPT. It is so depressing somedays I barely feel able to even lift my head.

Having said all that, we do have one another and we are very much in love! We have awesome (if sometimes too caring) families and we have a few good friends. We're working everyday on improving things for ourselves.

We are currently on a hiatus from fertility treatment while I attempt to lose weight. Our RE wants me to lose 30lbs before we move onto the next treatment. This reasoning is down to the medical challenges I have facing me. I have PCOS, Type II Diabetes, hypothyroidism and sleep apnea. I had endometrial hyperplasia last year, but am currently showing all clear at the moment.

Not related to losing weight, but another challenge I face on the fertility front is that my right fallopian tube was removed in a surgery 4 years ago. I went in for a routine laproscopic cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal) and, when the surgeon went in to remove the gallbladder, he discovered a very large cyst (he drained more than 2 litres of fluid from the cyst) on my right ovary. Sadly, my fallopian tube was buried in the cyst and had to be sacrificed. I understand the tube was not salvageable, however, the fact that the surgeon "forgot" to tell me about the removal of the tube until 3 years later when we were gathering medical records to carry to our first RE visit, kind of pisses me off.

Anyway, back to weight loss. I am currently about half-way to my mini-goal of having lost 30lbs! As of this past Sunday (normally I weigh on Fridays, but I cheated and weighed during the week - not a fact I'm proud of), I had lost 15lbs! Stay tuned tomorrow to see if I've managed to keep that weight off and continue losing or if this is one of the flukey weeks I gain weight. I am on a strict 1480 calorie per day diet and I generally try to walk 2 to 3 miles everyday. This week has been unusual because I've had rehearsal every afternoon for a local musical I'm involved in, so I've been unable to get a moment to exercise. Let's hope all that singing has helped me to shed a few pounds! My overall goal is to lose a total of 103lbs. 15lbs down, 88lbs to go!

The Hubs and I have 3 dogs. Isabel, our terrier, is 9 1/2 years old. We adopted her as a rescued dog when we lived in England. When we made the move to the US, we naturally had her vaccinated and certified to move with us. She is our first baby and we love her enormously! She is spoiled rotten! Our second fur-child is Melly. She is a beagle hound/border collie mix. She was born to a couple of stray dogs who took up residence at our house several years ago and were our fur-children for a while until the dad got hit by a car and the mom wandered off a few months later. I really miss them. However, Melly is lovely! She looks more like a hound than a border collie. She has long floppy ears and she's so soft. She has a lovely temperment! Our third fur-child is Fonzi. He is technically Melly's brother, but from an earlier litter. Same mom and dad, Fonzi was born and we had him until he was about two months old. At that time, he just disappeared from our house. We never knew what happened to him or where he had gone until he appeared back at our house last year looking much the same as he did when he was a puppy and still answering to the name Fonzi. He also has a great temperment, though he is less inclined for silliness than Melly is. They are also incredibly spoiled!

I have lots of interests including reading, writing, music, movies and crafts. I'll read just about anything. I love vampire novels, mysteries, children's fantasy/sci-fi and morality fiction (i.e. Nicholas Sparks or Jodi Piccoult). Reading has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. I also love to write, hence the reason I have a blog. I've been in a state of writer's block for creative writing for several years now, so I've been hoping that writing my blog will trigger something there. Unfortunately, I find that a lot of times my writer's block just carries over into my blog as well. I struggle on, though!

I live for music! It is so difficult for me to do anything without having music on. I love 60's and 70's rock. Fleetwood Mac is my all-time favourite band, but I also like The Doors, The Who and The Beatles. I do love modern music - I absolutely love Adele, Lady Gaga, Train and Katy Perry. Jazz, soul and classical music are also favourites in our house. We're a very musical family. I enjoy singing as well as listening to music and The Hubs plays piano. I own a violin on which I can play a few notes, but I hope to one day find someone who can give me lessons to play it properly. I'd also love to learn to play guitar.

The Hubs and I are movie fanatics! We go to the cinema usually once every week or so. This is a big thing for us because the nearest cinema to where we live is a 45 minute drive away! We use this time as date-night and go out for a meal as well. It works really great for us as a break away from the everyday. We're not really picky about our movies - we enjoy comedies, dramas, thrillers, horror.....you name it, we'll probably watch it! Having said that is not to say we have no taste in movies - there are movies even we will not watch, lol! But, in general, we probably do take in more movies than the normal person.

I love crafts. I enjoy crocheting, cross-stitching, scrapbooking, card-making and most any other craft I can get my hands on. I'm currently attempting to teach myself to knit, which has been an interesting experience. I'm not sure I could term it successful yet, but interesting definitely fits. I also recently purchased some wooden photo frames I'm hoping to paint and offer personalization on so that I can sell them to add money to our treatment/adoption fund. Someday maybe I'll actually get them uploaded to an Etsy shop, lol!

That's about all I have to share about myself right now, but if you have questions, please ask them! I'm eager to answer any questions. Also, please, please, please share information about yourself as I'm always interested in meeting new people, too! Have a great ICLW!!

Thankful Thursday - Part 2

It's Thankful Thursday again! Be sure to join in and tell me what you're thankful for!

Today I'd like to talk about my wonderful hubby. I am so thankful he came into my life almost 11 years ago. Many of you know the story of how we met, but for those who don't, you can find that here. Monday of this week made 10 years since The Hubs first made his grand debut in the US and since our first "real life" meeting. We've been an "official" couple for 10 years now. Wow, how time flies!

The Hubs has been my rock for a decade. He has been the reason I keep going a lot of times when I'd rather just give up. He makes me smile when I'm sad. He makes me feel joyful oftentimes when the world looks bleak. He's my biggest reason for staying sane! He's the part of me that holds hope and the part of me that knows, no matter how awful things may seem at times, nothing can be completely without hope or completely unsalvageable as long as we have each other.

He makes me happier than anyone else and he pisses me off more than anyone ever could =D We are a couple who loves passionately and fights passionately. I've always told him that, whatever problems we may be going through, I wanted to keep the passion in our relationship and we do! He is my best friend and the only person I tell all my secrets to. He knows me better than anyone else and loves me in spite of and because of my faults. I couldn't have a better partner for this journey called life.

We've had tough times over the last decade, but we've come through. Not unscathed and not unscarred, but still in one solid - if slightly banged up - piece. No, life is not always moonlight and roses, but it's also not always doom and gloom. The Hubs has the ability to make me laugh even when it looks like we may be facing the end. I don't know what demons and catastrophes may lie in our future, but whatever they may be, we'll face them together. I am so thankful I have such an awesome friend, lover and partner to hold my hand through the battle of life.

L is for Long-Distance Relationship (or Love - take your pick!)

Long-distance relationships are hard. Trust me, I was in one with The Hubs (when he was still The Boyfriend) for almost two years. Some of my long-term readers may have heard this story, but for my more recent followers, this will be new to you.

My first foray onto the iternet was on August 30, 2000. How do you remember the exact date, you may ask? Well, it's the day I met The Hubs, so it comes easily. I had a friend (who we shall call Goldie) who had met a guy online and she was all about her internet chats. She was over at my house one day and decided we just had to go to the library so she could chat with her beau (who was English, I might add). This was in the days before everyone here in the boonies had internet in their homes. In fact, the library had only recently gotten it, so off the two of us went to the library.

I'll state right here and now that I was extremely dubious of her "relationship" with English guy and I wasn't sure how I felt about the internet, having never been on it. But, Goldie really wanted to chat to English guy, so I accompanied her and figured I might as well get my feet wet internet-wise and see what all the fuss was about.

While she loaded up to chat with English guy, I browsed through the chat rooms on Yahoo. Some of the rooms really freaked me out, but I figured music chat was safe (boy, was I naive!) and, since I love Fleetwood Mac, I decided to enter the chatroom devoted to that greatest of bands. While Goldie chatted away with her man, I was having my eyes opened to a whole new universe! Not all of it was good, but not all bad either. I didn't feel comfortable talking to anyone though, so I basically just sat there and read what the others in the room were saying to one another. After about half an hour, I was getting ready to leave the room when a name popped up as having entered the room. I don't know what it was, but I felt this overwhelming need to talk to this person. It was a pull like I'd never felt before and have never felt since. So, I instant messaged him.

You can probably guess who it was, right? Well, don't get ahead of me!

He messaged me back and we started a conversation. It turned out he was also from England, just like Goldie's English guy, however, he was from a different part of England. We chatted for about two hours that first day. I had just gone through a very bad breakup and it was nice to have someone to talk to about it who was outside the situation and whom I was obviously never going to meet in real life (shows what I knew!). We also found we had a lot in common. We exchanged email addresses and decided to meet the next afternoon (evening for him) to chat again.

Thus began our long-distance relationship. Everytime we chatted, we grew a little closer. By mid-September, we had decided we wanted to chat on the phone, so I called him. Oh, my gosh! His accent was so dreamy I could almost melt in it! (Sadly, I don't hear it so much these days....he still has it, it's just become normal to me, so I miss that melty feeling.) We exchanged letters and photos. We talked on the phone every day. We chatted online every day. Goldie laughed at me repeatedly and asked me was meeting someone online so silly to me now. For my 22nd birthday in November, he sent me a gorgeous fall basket of flowers. It was amazing!

Months passed and we decided we wanted to meet in person. So on June 13, 2001 (nine months after we first met online), The Hubs (Boyfriend) boarded a plane and flew over 3000 miles to see me. We picked him up at the airport in Atlanta. We didn't make it out of the airport before we were making out (I know, it's disgusting, lol!). We completely fit one another. It was perfect :D

It wasn't long though (9 days) before I had to take him back to catch the plane home. That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do to that point. It was so heartbreaking to let him go. We had decided I would go visit him for Christmas that year, but that was six months away! And, at the time, that seemed an interminably long way off.

But, the months passed and on December 21, 2001, I arrived in England. The feeling of completeness was still there for both of us and we had a wonderful Christmas and New Year together (a story about going through the airport 3 months after 9/11 and right at Christmas is due, but I'll save that for another time). Too soon it was time for me to head back home. The waiting game started over again.

It wasn't long, though, before he was back in the US. I picked him up from the airport on February 28, 2002. He spent his 25th birthday with me and we went to Savannah to celebrate. We took a Riverboat Cruise, visited the Tybee Island Lighthouse (and went all the way to the top!) and walked all over Savannah in that weekend! It was a great visit.

At this point, we had decided we had had enough of the back and forthing and being apart. Plans started being made. It was decided that I would come over to see him in June and I would stay for six months. We needed to know that things were going to work between the two of us for more than two weeks at a time. So, I gave notice at my job, said goodbye to my family and friends and on May 31, 2002 I loaded up my mom's car and she took me to the airport. Saying goodbye to my family was really, really difficult, particularly to my mom, dad and sister. But I knew The Hubs (Boyfriend) was waiting for me! And I knew that, whatever happened between the two of us, my family would always be there for me to come back to.

On June 1, 2002, I landed in England. The Hubs (Boyfriend) was there to welcome me with open arms. The first couple of weeks went by and things were as great in person as they were long-distance. Another month went by and The Hubs (Boyfriend) asked me a question I had waited a long time to hear - "Will you marry me?" Obviously, I said yes!

We waited until September to tell any of our family. Possibly not the best decision, but it was the one we made. The plan was to get married in the US in November (my visa waiver expired December 3, 2002, so I had to leave the UK before then) and then go to New York to get my spousal visa. On November 23, 2002 - the day after my 24th birthday - we were married. We spent our honeymoon going to New York to get my visa (not nearly as romantic as it sounds - 23 hours on a Greyhound bus up to New York, all day spent in the British Embassy to get the visa, spending the night with my brother in Pennsylvania, then 26 hours on a Greyhound bus back to Georgia). Then on December 3, 2002, we boarded a plane back to England as a married couple.

It would be 11 months before I returned to the US. 11 months before I saw my family again. That is a very long time. Has it been worth it, you ask? Definitely. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat.

Long-distance relationships are hard, but, if you are devoted to the other person involved, they're definitely worth it.

Have you ever been involved in a long-distance relationship? If so, what's been the most difficult part for you? The easiest? Would you do it again? If you've never been involved in a long-distance relationship, is it something you think you could ever consider?

If you made it all the way through this post, I hope you enjoyed our story :D It's been a tough road, but I'm glad I took that turn. It's definitely been worth the cost.

What a Day!

Although today has been Wednesday, it's felt like a Monday! That's not to say nothing good has happened, but just that it's been a hectic day.

Let me stop there for a minute, though, and give a shout out to all of you ICLWers! I hope you all enjoy your visit. If you want, feel free to take some time to look around. There is a lot of information about my journey in the links above.

Back to today. Work always feels crazy these days. I spent today working solely on writing 3 appeal letters to insurance companies over denials for stupid things that never should have been denied. It just feels like a waste to have to explain to an insurance company that they're stupid and that, if a patient has cancer and her Oncologist believes she needs chemo, then of course it's a necessary procedure! Really agitating to receive denials on such straight forward claims. Oh, well....that's my job, I guess.

Then at lunch, The Hubs had tried to leave his workplace to go get lunch and bring to my office. He managed to get about 100 yards down the road before his car shut off and refused to do anything. Either he has a dead battery or the alternator has gone out or some other ill-timed catastrophe has struck. And this comes on the heels of getting a flat tire on the same car last night! After work this evening we spent 3 hours trying to fix the problem all to no avail. I don't know about you, but that kind of failure really takes the wind right out of my sails.

That's where the day started to redeem itself. After a day of WTF? moments, The Hubs suggested we splurge on our diet a little and go for a meal at the Huddle House. There's nothing better for a bad mood than a greasy spoon diner! After some eggs and a waffle, I felt a lot better.

When we got home and I checked the mail, there was only more good news. Mel's book, Life From Scratch had finally arrived! I'm excited to read it!

More good news when my phone rang. I didn't get to it before it stopped ringing, but when I checked the missed calls, I had received a phone call from Kristin! I quickly called her back and we had a lovely hour long chat. I would have loved to talk to her longer, but I wanted to get this blog post sorted and get to bed before my alarm goes off in the morning. My back is still bothering me a bit, so going to take some meds and hit the hay soon!

For the final loveliness of the day, I'm typing this post on my new laptop! And it's purple! I'm very much in love with this new laptop.....and now The Hubs can play his computer games on the old laptop and we don't have to fight over....um....share the one computer. I'm in Heaven!

Hope you all had a great Wednesday! TTFN!

A Little Bit of This and A Little Bit of That

I know I've been lax in blogging the last week. I'd love to say there was some awesome reason keeping me from it, but, honestly, I just haven't had a lot to say. There isn't really anything newsworthy in the Wistful household. So, with that in mind, I'll give you a few bits of randomness - just to give you that needed shot of Wistful Wit =D

*********

1/11/11 was special in several ways. Not only did it simply look cool to write it, but it signified a restart for The Hubs and I. It was the 5 year anniversary of us moving (back for me) to the USA! We have officially been a married couple living in America for 5 years now. The last five years have not been easy, but we're prepared to put our faith in the next five being better. There are so many hopes I have for the next 5 years; it will be interesting to see how they pan out.

*********

I am officially declaring my book target for 2011 now. I think I can manage to read 70 books this year. Certainly much lower than my challenge of 100 last year, but better than my achievement of 57. I'm going to push for the 70. So far I've read 2 and am currently reading the 3rd.

My current reading pleasure is Over Sea, Under Stone by Susan Cooper. It is the first of a series of five books and the entire set was a Christmas gift from The Hubs. I'm really enjoying the book, however, I find myself being slow on reading it. It's not that the book isn't interesting, it's that I'm finding myself not interested in much at the moment. Hopefully, I'll move out of this funk soon.

*********

My disinterest is even carrying over into my crocheting. I've been working on a baby blanket (yup, this one is for us. I figure, what the hell? Might as well work on something for us, even if we never get to use it or get to use it but it's years down the road.) but over the last week, I've really slacked on it. I just can't seem to shake whatever is tiring me out/zapping my interest.

*********

AF is still hanging around (might be the cause of me being so disinterested and tired). She's been in town for a little over 2 weeks now. This seems like an awful long time, but I know it's a combination of coming off Meg.ace and taking Pro.vera (which I took even though AF was here because the RE wanted me to take it the first 7 days of each month). If she's still visiting by the time we go to see the RE next Thursday, I'll talk to him about it and see what we can do. Otherwise, I'm going to try not to worry about it.

*********

Work is getting the best of me these days. I'm not really enjoying it at the moment and I'm hoping things will get better soon. It's not that the work is so bad, it's just that I'm finding myself wanting something different. Not sure what to do about that, but for now will just stick it out.

*********

I've been thinking about ways The Hubs and I could raise some extra money for our fertility treatment/adoption fund (whichever way we decide to go after our consultation with RE next week - or failure of treatment). I'm thinking of maybe doing some auction type things (maybe some handbags or something) but I'd like to get feedback from anyone who may have done something like this. Did you find it useful? Or would you say it was more a waste of time? I'd love to hear your advice!

*********

I guess that's really all I can think of right now. Hopefully, I'll be back in a day or so with more interesting topics for you, but for now, have a lovely evening, my bloggy loves!

Hugs,

30-Day Blog Challenge - Day Eight - A Photo That Makes You Angry/Sad

Today's 30-Day Blog Challenge theme is "A Photo That Makes You Angry/Sad".



June 22, 2001 - Following on from last night's theme of The Hubs' and my first meeting, I thought I would share the final moments of that first meeting with you. This is us waiting at the departure gate just about half an hour before he had to board. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye, but we had no choice. Looking back now with the clarity of time and knowing where we are now, I still feel the pain of goodbye. It would be six months later - at Christmas - before we would see one another again. Many things would happen in those six months. I didn't know that I would be met at security on my first flight to the UK by US Marines bearing M16 rifles, but I was. I didn't know I would be terrified that the gentleman on my flight wearing a turban was a terrorist, but I was (needless to say, he was not and I offer him my apologies for that undeemed fear). I didn't know I could grow to love The Hubs any more than I already did, but it happened. It's funny how six months can change your life.

One last photo before I go for the evening. Taken on the walk to the departure gate.....you could see how much we were hurting.

30-Day Blog Challenge - Day Seven - A Photo That Makes You Happy

Today's 30-Day Blog Challenge theme is "A Photo That Makes You Happy".



July 13, 2001 - I was 22 years old. My mom and I got up very early that day. It was a special day. I was meeting someone very important!

Mom and I got ready and left our house around 8am headed for Atlanta. It took 3 1/2 hours to drive all the way up and another half hour to maneuver the airport parking area. We were finally parked and headed into Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport at around noon.

Since we had about 3 hours before anything would be happening (what can I say? We wanted to be sure we weren't late and I was excited), we found ourself some food and ate, then we wandered around all the shops in the airport. I found and purchased a small stuffed lion and a balloon that said "Welcome to the United States". Then we waited.

Sometime around 2:30pm we made our way to the arrivals gate (remember, this was before the awful events of September 11, 2001, so we could go right into the arrivals area). We waited what felt like an eternity, but eventually, I saw him!

If you haven't guessed yet, this was the first time I met The Hubs in person. It was an awesome day and I was so incredibly happy. This is a photo of us still in the airport, walking towards baggage claim. We were both so excited! It still makes me feel warm and light inside when I look at this photo.

A New Start

First of all, let me start by welcoming everyone visiting from ICLW! You can find out more about me by reading this post and this post. The Hubs and I are recuperating from the trauma of a failed adoption in January (although things started going wrong in November), but have recently made some big decisions and have had some good news. I hope you enjoy visiting with me!

Now - onto my update. Thanks for all your extremely supportive comments and suggestions about my song! We had a great weekend and I feel my audition went well. The producers will be giving callbacks beginning next week and going through the end of April, so I won't know anything for sure until then. I'll not be able to give any information out about though, as it is very hush-hush. Please just keep your fingers crossed for me and say a little prayer. Whatever the result, I had a fantastic time and will probably look to audition again next year if I don't make it this year.

It seems as though the last couple of weeks have held lots of wonderful news for The Hubs and I! In addition to my promotion/raise and our trying a cycle on Fe.mara, we got some wonderful news Monday afternoon. Thank you to all those who've been keeping us in your thoughts and prayers for The Hubs to find a job because he interviewed for one Monday afternoon and was hired on the spot! He started yesterday morning and he's loving it! This is excellent news because it means we can go ahead and ask for our referral to the RE and, hopefully in a couple month's time, start the process to adopt from foster care! I'm really, really amazed and humbled by the turn of events and how each moment that has seemed to be working against us has, in fact, been leading us to this path. It makes me hopeful that life will turn out the way in which we want it.

I took my last Fe.mara last night, so now the wait starts to the ultrasound next Wednesday to see if any follies have been produced. I'm eager to see what happens with this new treatment and, if nothing, then we have the RE referral to look forward to and, most especially, the adoption process to begin.

Please keep praying for us, thinking of us, crossing your fingers for us or a combination of your choosing! I'm so thankful for all the wonderful friends I've made in this community!

Sad News and Celebration of a Life

We got some sad news on Saturday. The Hubs' Grandmother passed away Saturday morning.

It wasn't unexpected. She was 95 years old and had Alzheimer's. She'd been on a downward slide for several years, but it still a difficult thing for us. Apparently she had a fall at home (where she still lived by herself - she had carers who came by everyday and The Hubs' Mum drove down to visit several times a week) on Friday and was taken to the hospital. She was stable Friday night, but had a massive heart attack Saturday morning.

The Hubs and I were up getting ready to go out of town for the day when his Mum texted him to call her ASAP. I told him to be prepared because I felt like his Gran had probably passed away.

After he spoke to his Mum, we had to decide whether to continue with our out-of-town plans or to stay at home. The Hubs decided there was really nothing we could do at home and that he felt his Gran would want us to go ahead with our plans, so that's what we did.

We went to Valdosta, GA for the day where neither of us had been before. The Hubs commented repeatedly throughout the day how much Valdosta reminded him of Sheffield, England. Valdosta was an old mill town and, even though its much more of a built up city now with the university there, the city has still managed to preserve some of its history, so The Hubs was able to see the chimneys from the mill and the water tower. The cityscape was very much like that of Sheffield with its water towers and chimneys left over from its days of being a huge mining town.

At one point, we got mislaid (to use The Hubs words - we weren't lost, just mislaid) while trying to locate the renovated mill and, in the process of retracing our steps, I happened to notice something interested set on the main road, but back from the road, so had I not been looking right at it, I never would have seen it. It was the Queen Victoria British Pub! Since The Hubs had been reminiscing all day and we were both feeling a deep loss for his Gran, I pointed it out to him and suggested we have dinner there. He readily agreed, so several hours later, we made our way back to the place.

When we walked in, it was like stepping back into England! The pub had proper English beers (although we didn't partake - The Hubs was driving and I don't really drink beer)! There was proper English food! There was proper English tea! And - in a rare moment of authentic recreation - there were proper English flags (not the Union Jack British flag, but real English flags)!

It was an astonishing and welcomed experience.

We ordered a Sprite for me and a Dr. Pepper for The Hubs and we then toasted his Gran. She loved pub meals. We always took her out to eat at a pub when we went to visit her. The Hubs ordered bangers and mash with seasonal veggies for his meal. I had Steak Diane (NY strip steak sauteed in Worcestershire sauce, sherry, shallots and mushrooms), mash and seasonal veggies. We finished off our meal with cheesecake (white chocolate raspberry for The Hubs and Chocolate Turtle for me) and a pot of hot tea.

We met and had a conversation with the owner of the pub who is also the chef. He's a Londoner and the former Executive Chef to the White House during President Ronald Reagan's time in office.

It was a wonderful evening and a most fitting tribute to The Hubs' Gran.

When we got back in the car to travel home, they were playing a Beatles' song on the radio, followed by a Wings' song. That's when we really knew. Gran had led us there. She had given us a chance to grieve for her and to celebrate her. There's no way we would have found the pub had we not gotten lost. She led us to it. Then, she wanted to make sure we knew it was her, so she had the Beatles and Wings playing for us. She was that kind of woman. She knew finances would not allow us to go to England for her funeral, so she gave us a celebration of her own.

So right now, wherever you are, please do me a favor and raise a glass in toast to a woman who meant so much to her family and friends. She's the last of her generation of friends and family, having outlived her husband and son, her best friend and all her siblings.

To Mary!

In the 2WW

I'm officially in my first 2WW post-Clomid, as our first cycle was annovulatory and the second one we thought we were going to be adopting, so we prevented. I'm 8DPO today and I keep finding myself obsessing about any possible symptom.

I don't want to be like this. I want to understand that it hasn't happened in 6 years and it probably won't happen this cycle. I want to understand, not because I have no faith, but because I don't want to suffer the pain that will come with either that BFN or AF's arrival. I want to get beyond the pain.

I envy those who've found the numbness, I honestly do. I would give anything to feel numb and not know the pain that awaits when it all falls through. Or to be back in those early days when it was exciting and it seemed a real possibility.

Now, though, I can't escape the hope, even though with every passing minute I'm more and more aware of how slim the possibility of a BFP is.

The Hubs wants us to wait until Christmas Day to test. By that time I'll be 18DPO and if AF hasn't arrived then, I guess that would mean we were the p-word. I don't think we'll make it there. I want to test early - I always want to know. I want to wait - Its what The Hubs wants and I want to give him that. I want Christmas to be beautiful and a BFP would do that - I just don't trust it to happen.

I feel very confused and emotional, which probably means I'm PMSing. Wonderful.