Well, today I went to see the new school I am posted to and it looks like it was built 50 years ago. In fact, I think it was built that long ago.
The canteen's the size of two classrooms! And guess what, there's only 1 food vendor for 700+ students! Wow. I shall be encouraged to lose weight now that I may not even get the chance to see the end of the queue for food.
Also, there's a temple built right in the middle of the school compound, so whenever I feel 'holy' the temple is just a stone's throw away. Heck, Guan Yin(no offence meant to the deity) is smack right in front of your face.
There's also a mosque not 10m away from the school if you're Muslim and not inclined to pray to Chinese Gods.
There's also the SPCA if you're just not interested in praying, and prefer animals to humans.

On orientation day, I'm sure there'll be the ever-annoying, ever-necessary "Ice-breaking" event where you get to know each others' names and forget them seconds later.
And because it's always boring to hear people introduce themselves, I've come out with some introductions I'm sure will get you remembered.

There's a saying that goes something life, "Astound someone with your wit, then confuse them with your bullsh*t."
Right now, we're aiming for the bull-sh*t part.
The best way to crap is to pop something out of the blue.

"Hello I'm Heidi, I'm from Xinmin Secondary and I brought my terrapin to school today."
"Hey! I'm Heidi and I have a penknife hidden in my pocket."
"Yo what's up, I'm Heidi and as you can see, I'm wearing my school uniform today."

Or if you rather scare people away since you prefer not making friends(like me), these will be perfect for you.
"Hey I'm Heidi, I'm a compulsive liar and I think all you guys here are great!"
"Hello, my name is Heidi and I didn't shave my armpits today."
"Good morning people, I'm Heidi and from the way you are inching away from me, I can see you found out about my body odour."

If they ask you about your hobbies and likes...
"Hey, the name's Heidi and I love eating dead animals."
"Hi, I'm Heidi and the last time I tried my favourite hobby, i ended up with a kid."
"Yo, Heidi here, I love copping a feel of people's butts."

Perhaps you just want to keep away people who are trying to hook you up, guys or girls, straight or crooked.
"Hello, I'm Heidi and I am a teenage mom."
To make it even more dramatic, you can add...
"I'm sure me and my baby *pats stomach* will like it here"
For guys you can just say, "Hi I'm (insert name here) and I contracted syphillis from the last time I had unprotected sex with myself."
Disgusting I know, but hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Dumb brunette/blonde/blackie introductions...
"Harlow! I'm Heidi and I...I..uh I'm in the wrong school."
"I'm Heidi and I like pink and I love marshmellows and I prefer fluffy pens and I absolute luuurve you guys."
"Hello I'm Heidi and *gasp* are those your arms?? They look so flabby! You need a weight-loss programme!"
"I need a tan and you're in my way!"

But the best introduction of all would be the plain truth.
"I'm Heidi from Xinmin Secondary School and the only reason why I'm here is because I screwed up my prelims."

Yeap, the truth never fails to get you a black eye.

~Heidi confesses she's a snob, especially when her food requirements are not fufilled!~

I just read about the Tsunami that sank so many. And it's quite horrifying to think that the cruise which my 'uncle' booked for all of us was originally meant to be a Christmas cruise instead of a Chinese New Year cruise. And I realise I could have been on a cruise ship heading for/or already in Phuket, one of the areas hit by the killer waves, if not because it was fully booked. That was the very beach I was supposed to be on.

I could have been the one with blue lips, glazed eyes and still heart in the picture.
Oh my god.

I hope the death toll will stop.

~Heidi shall not bring her terrapin along for the cruise next year(just in case she needs to escape and not in time to save her tortoise)~

Oh I know, I know, it's Christmas, 'Tis the season to be jolly, Fa-la-la-la and all that. I just wanna say if you guys ever see some poor folks around like MRT stations or whatever, do give them a dollar for whatever it is.
It still kills me to remember seeing the indian lady with her 4 kids, faces alight with excited gestures when I approached, only to fall again as I said no, I didn't want a henna.
And the stooped elderly lady desperately trying to sell 4 packets of tissues at $1, while everyone brush past her.
HEY WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SPEND THE BLEEDIN DOLLAR ON ANYWAY, TURKEYS???
Just buy the tissues, I did, and they proved me useful because I've got a cold and mucus and all that. So yeah, tissue is fine.

God grant me compassion and remembrance for those less needy than me this Christmas.

~HALLELUJAH~

Ok after days of absence, I'm back.
I just want to say, I've really had a variety of customers.
Many were demanding to the point that resorted to yelling that he wants my colleague out of job for daring to be rude to him.
One glared at me while I sputtered my way through excuses of needing him to wait while we clean up the display set to sell to him(hehe)
One smelled of urine or lime, and because I am senstive to smell, I gagged...behind her of course.

And there are some who were so nice.
This pair of customers, two South African (white) guys were so nice and accomodating that they said they'll do anything I ask as long as it won't trouble me, and also they bought me a box of Ferrero Roche because "I've been so helpful to them". I almost teared because I was so touched and because I met two of my most difficult customers that day too.
Sigh~
BUT what makes me feel so guilty is that I had to sell a laptop with a dead pixel to them, I didn't know it until I switched on the computer, but by then it was too late because the seal has already been broken.
I hope they don't notice and enjoy their computer. =
Anyways walking 10 hours straight everyday without break is really exhausting mentally. And because I'm working, I'm no longer considered just a teenager and more like a girl to get numbers from. I made friends with this Santa Claus costumed guy(not exactly made friends but because I was so bored I just started teasing him whenever I saw him) then recently I saw him hanging about my area and asking for my number. I was so freaked out I started to hide whenever I saw him and didn't acknowledge his smiles at me.
I have a colleague who was on attachment who pinched my cheeks whenever he sees me and asked me if I missed him and that why don't I look for him more often and so much more. I also started getting irritated and a little freaked out.
And another colleague who likes being alone with him, he once asked me to buy ice cream with me, he says he couldn't carry so many ice creams. Uh...3 ice creams and they are all in one tray, you need 4 hands to carry what 1 hand can??? Don't say I am just over-reacting, I saw him smile to himself when I agreed to go with him. ARGH!!!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

That's why I'm quite glad my last day's over. Although next year I should be going back to work. Oh Gawd.

And by the way to all ye customers, no I'm not in primary school, no neither am I in sec 2, I AM OUT OF SECONDARY SCHOOL and I know what I'm selling.

~Heidi rants about the realities of life~

Sometimes what you really want to say to customers is this...
"Hi Sir, do you want to buy anything? If not, get lost and don't waste my time asking so many questions! Thank you!"
But what you must say instead...
"Well, it's ok if you don't want to buy anything..." *smiles brightly* "Come back again!...(not)"

This guy will bulging biceps and sleeveless shirt came to us as we were closing.
"I want a laptop but I don't like black!!"
My thoughts? "Gay."
I tell you, 80% chance I'm right.
He likes the colour lavender(that's light purple) and doesn't like black.
He has a little of girl-lish behaviour about him.
He is really senstive about colours...and appearances.
Hah...3 days in sales, you must be intuitive!

~Heidi's knees and ankles are aching from standing 10 hours straight everyday~

Today, as I stare at my face in the mirror, I thought "Damn, I'll make a very ugly pregnant lady."

And if you wanna know, I earn like what $18 for a $3688++ laptop as commission, so don't even think I earn alot!

Amazing, while I was trying not to really look for a job, a job came coming. I got work at my cousin's workplace. (At age 24 this year, she has already opened 3 Fujitsu outlets at Funan IT mall, darn capable she is, oh very fierce too!)
And guess what, I'm selling computers. You might think, hey! Computers, I know about them, I'm using one now!
Right, the very absent-minded and totally technical me had to go through a crash course on all about C600 series and P300 series of computers today.
As the slides on all the computer mumbo-jumbo went on and on, all I could think was, "Shit, the customers know more than me and I'm SUPPOSED TO SELL THIS TO THEM???"
And there's still a test to take at the end of the day!! ARGH. I always fail my tests, this isn't any different. ( I failed btw, 37.5/100 LOL)

For eg, do you know what's HT Technology?
No? That's Hyper-Threading, it means your CPU works like 2 processors, able to be more efficient at multi-tasking, if you open 10 programmes, it can still work fast. Also, it has a cooling system that cools down your comp so it won't heat up and keep "hanging".
This is just the easy part.

I have to memorise the different Hardisk(HDD) Memory for different models(laptop and PC), all the prices and the model numbers and so much bloody more.
The computers all look the same to me man.

So now I know enough about PCI slots, USB whatever to do what? Talk and talk and pray the customer will buy. Buy what? Comps costing an average of $3000+ bucks.

By the way, salespeople do mark up price for their products, the prices ain't fixed, bargain hard! Oops...I just gave away trade secret. Lol.

SO if you want a computer, buy from Fujitsu, it's the top brand in the computer market for reliability and stability. As one customer puts it, "Fujitsu is like the BMW of computer world."
Yeap, and remember, the name is Heidi, buy from me!!
Tomorrow till Sunday, and maybe next week from Thursday till Sunday I'll be Funan IT mall(that's in Singapore, if you're from abroad)
I'll give you great prices(and free printers, laminators, CDs, thumbdrives)!!

~Heidi sells (hard)nuts~

Guess what, I lost Tack again.
ARGH somebody just stick a knife into me.
This is a vicious cycle, I lose my turtles, I find one turtle, I lose the turtle again, then I find it, within 2 days, I lose the turtle again.
And this time, I still can't find it, and it's gonna die soon if it doesn't eat or drink within a day.
T_T
Wish me luck.

~Heidi, who has lost and found, lost and found and lost yet again~

One thing I really really dislike is having my relatives call the house and ask me to fetch things for them. Almost every week and I'll have to be the errand girl. I'll have to drop everything(literally) and go down to do some manual labour and you know what a lazy fatso I am, so it's a chore for me to get my butt out of the chair and walk.

Just the other day, my mom called me to fetch a vacuum cleaner down. WHAT VACUUM CLEANER???
........
So I lugged that huge monstrosity of a sucker out of the house and into the lift. The people inside were staring at me strangely. Can you imagine meeting a girl with a gigantic vacuum cleaner in a lift?
Yes laugh at that thought.

I was so embarrassed that I tried to act all non-chalent.
"You're not carrying a vcauum cleaner, you're carrying a Gucci bag. You're not carrying a vacuum cleaner, you're carrying a Gucci bag..."
With this chant in my mind, I stood straighter, with my nose up in the air and regally walked out of the lift, pulling the vacuum cleaner along. It might have all worked if I hadn't slipped.
Oh gawd.

~Heidi as Maria/Minah~

Recently I've been longing really bad for a Playstation so that I can play my really old edition of Final Fantasy Tactics. Mine was spoilt and I almost wanted to go buy a new one. BUT BUT BUT by luck or another, I saw a PS in my cousin's house when I went there for an errand.

"OOOOOOO!" I thought. "Must keep this information in mind."

So after trying to fix my PS with no success, I decided to call this cousin.

"Hello Sean, when are you coming to get the computer?" This is my first tactic, remind him that I've got a computer in exchange for a PS.
"Don't know your mom hasn't fnished using it."
"Um do you have a playstation at home?" 2nd tactic, cut to the chase and pretend ignorance.
"Yah."
"EH lend me!!!" 3rd tactic, pretend, no, show your enthusiasm and try to do it with all girlish excitement. (see boys, this is where girls have an advantage over you, we show irresistable excitement when we want something.)
"Ok come and get it."
Oh muh gawd, success!

When I went to his house, I further sweeten the deal by asking if they want baby hamsters when my hamsters do the deed.
He wasn't that excited over it but his sis was. Still! That's one brownie point for me in addition to all the others. Then I discovered he's going to buy a new computer next year. Oh darn, there goes my bait.
Which means I'm borrowing the PS entirely on his goodwill!!! Oh dear...Fortunately, he's rather nice. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE find some other amusement this holiday.

~Heidi crosses her fingers~

After 2 days of glooming about and praying to whomever who will help, I FOUND TACKYY!!
Trying to pin-point my terrapin's whereabouts by Tarot cards and tearing about the house didn't do a thing.

How did I find it?
I sat down on this very chair not 15 min past with another terrapin, Cookie(another story to be told) in my hand and look down.
THERE! OMG It can't be..DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP HEIDI. But there's a head and two flippers...YES IT IS. And all I could do was to shriek with joy and shower kisses on Tack.
She's now in the sink swimming about and eating turtle pellets. Haven.

Thank you.

~Heidi found her anchor back~

This blogger has so many problems lately that I can't log on to post, as a result, all my inspiration has fled.
But I'm not blaming Blogger.

Guess what? I lost another turtle, I'm so darn absent-minded I forgot where I put it. T_T
TACKKKKYYYY WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

Oh reality, I loathe you so!

~One day, Heidi's gonna forget who she is(oh wait, she already does)~

I AM A COOKING GENIUS!!Why?Because I've just successfully cooked my own dinner. And it isn't instant noodles or something, it's veggies, egg and meat! I don't know what animal the meat belongs to though. Nevermind, nothing can dim my joy at knowing I can feed myself should everyone die of a catastrophone tomorrow. Everyone except me that is.
Who cares if I chewed more than I swallowed, who cares if the meat was a little salty and burnt, who cares if the egg looks like it came out of someone's stomach, THEY ALL TASTE GOOD. (who cares if the rice was crunchy)
That my dear people, is a poem, which I didn't plan on but came out all the same. Another evidence of my creativity. HAHA I love praising myself, it makes me a happier person. (Though one might call me deluded)

My ezlink card was stuck in the machine yesterday, just as the transaction was finished, the machine read "Out of order"Marya started laughing, to save myself from embarrassment(because strangers were staring at us) I decided to laugh too, like a hysterical witch. HEEE HEE HA.Marya looked at me like I was an idiot, "hey, go to the control station for help!""Ehh don't want, I'm shy"Kinda reminds me of the time I got my father's credit card stuck in the machine. Come to think about it, Marya was with me too. Jinx.


~Heidi can cook, you can too~

Chocolate kills your brain cells. Okay...I've not much brain cells to begin with. *Chomp Chomp*

Ladies ladies good news, chocolate is an aphrodisiac. Eating chocolate increases your sex drive. Even for frigid ones, according to research that is. Though I wonder how they manage to find out. "Come chocolate come!"
Men, stick to your viagra. Little blue pill, diamond-shaped.

But the irony is, the more chocolate you eat, the higher your sex drive and the less sexually desirable you are.
Why? Fat lah.
*Sob sob*

O LEVEL EXAMS OVER, I FEEL LIKE STUDYING NOW!! Huh.

~Heidi the procrastinator with no future ahead of her~

I am going to introduce you all to two great animes!
Every week, from Wednesday to Friday.
Go check Life everyday at the tv programmes listing, look at Central, 11pm to 12am.
See if there are two animes, 11.00pm Twelve Kingdoms, 11.30pm Inuyasha

They are in Japanese but there are English subtitles and they are very interesting, I can't be bothered to explain but you can google about them to find out more.
SUPPORT THESE SHOWS!

You can look at this webby for a brief info http://artscentral.mediacorptv.com/Whats_Showing/Anime/index.htm
~and just remember, you heard it first from Heidi~

You know, my friends have often said I look like a terrapin. But hey, I'm a cute terrapin.
And there's this syndrome(I don't know what to call it, phenomenen?) that owners look like their pets, and pets look like their owners. Couples who have been together very long look like each other too.
In fact, I think my terrapin looks a little like me.

BUT this is not random. Genetically, humans are made to be attracted to what is similar to them. So your future husband/wife would most probably look a little like you. Ie. the same sort of facial structure. But of course it doesn't mean if you're a girl, you look like a man. It's just a masculine version of your looks. You may not think so but if you have some advance programme, you can actually point out the similarities in your faces.
Darn, does that mean my future spouse would be drop-dead gorgeous? HAHHA.

Ok, I'm getting out of point.
What I want to say is, I'm trying out this beautifying process, no need for plastic surgery, 100% natural, absolutely free and with no side effects.
Well, maybe there are side effects, if you look at the wrong picture. Don't know what I'm talking about?
Alright, I'm going to share with you my secret.
I'm going to look at a picture of a very beautiful woman everyday (Nicole Kidman, Monica Belluci, Heidi Klum etc) and my brain will(might) programme my dna to restructure my face so that I'll resemble them. Cool eh?
Of course it might take decades but hey! At least it's free.
But please don't use Michael Jackson's pic. You want to look gorgeous, not weird.

Come back in a decade to see if my method works!
And those of you who are scoffing now, HAH! I bet you'll go and try it too.
Gotta go now to choose my beautiful woman to look like!

~Heidi goes for an extreme makeover without the gore~

HOW TO DO WELL IN EXAMS EVEN IF YOU DID NOT STUDY 101

1. On the day of the exam, wake 30 min early, then don't study, but sit at a table and ask friends to recite what they've learn to you.

2. Hug Buddha's leg

3. Pray and promise whichever deity you're praying too that you'll be better next time.

4. Pray some more.

5. Last resort, cheat.

BUT from experience, it is still better to study, studying is better than the panic you'll feel during the papers.
Well of course, I was still daydreaming and stuff while doing the papers. The bad thing is that my attention span is very very short.

Anyways, this year's o levels is suspiciously easy enough to handle. Which means to get a high-grade, you cannot be careless. Darn it, I'm so careless that 2+3 to me equals to 6.

~Heidi never learns~

With the Chinese paper today, the O levels has officially descended on me. And guess what? I've not studied studied a single relevant topic. Boo-fakin-hoo.
Yes, my fault, this is retribution. OH HEIDI HEIDI, why did you let your big fat ego and complacency lead you to this mess?? And why oh why are you still blogging now? Because you've not gotten a taste of hell yet.
Bye bye Victoria JC hello, um, ITE?

Here's what I want to get for O levels:
English: A1
Maths: A1
Humans: A1
Chinese: A1
Literature: A1
Science: A1
Total Pints: 6

Here's what I'm most probably gonna get:
Maths: B3
English: A1
Literature: B3
Chinese: B3(makes me wonder why I bothered retaking and wasting $$ in the first place)
Humans: A2 (W, don't snort)
Science: B3
Total points: 15

Woohoo! Damn it. Cheryl!! I shouldn't have moved to Hougang, away from your studious influence!! WHY WHY WHY we used to be on par(almost) and now I'm going to get 15 points and you're going to get 6.
Ok people, I'm going to absorb as much as I can of Social Studies now.
And somewhere in me, I'm still habouring the insane hope that I'm gonna pull through and get around 12 points for O levels. Insane alright.

~Heidi, Buddha's leg-hugger, midnight oil-burner, driver of night cars~

My pet terrapin, Tick got lost yesterday(6+pm). I put him in my pocket and he crawled out of it. I think he was lost somewhere in the bus 103w.
AHHH T_T ANYONE SEEN IT OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO TAKES 103??
I really miss that little guy/girl. I even wrote a letter to a psychic to help find it, the psychic replied that someone found Tick and he is in good hands. But I still won't give up searching for it.

Tick is about 3 cm wide and 4 cm long. Very very tame, he NEVER ever bites, and is very cute. When you put him on your hand, he has a way of staying still there and looking at you that makes you feel like he knows what you're thinking. Tick is really very cute and tame. If anyone did find him, please remember to feed him, he prefers meat to veggies. Don't torture him but love him!! He'll make a great pet, because he's clean and nice-smelling and low maintenance. Just take him out for a cuddle every day or two. Remember to balance his diet, if he doesn't want to eat veggies, just give him veggies(or fruits) and nothing else once or twice a week. Please don't feed him chicken, raw or otherwise, cuz it'll give him some illness.

Keep him very clean! And let him sleep for hours a day, he prefers dark places to sleep in and will sleep very easily, at the drop of a hat. Would you mind giving him a kiss or petting him too? It's not unhygenic if you bathe it thrice everday! And I don't mean those wet-mouth kisses, DRY ONES. Don't contaminate him with saliva please.
Tick won't bite, don't worry, he's just about as likely to bite you as you are to torture him. Which means if you torture him, I hope he will bite you.

Tick, be safe ok!!
*Muah*
Heidi loves you!! Always!!

~Yours faithfully/lovingly/sincerely/always,
Heidi~

I wanted to post poems describing my last day of school, to show off my creativity and talent. ALAS the bane(s) of my existence chose this time to fly around. Oh, I mean insects.
First there was this red dragonfly, which is still resting at my sofa.
Then came along a bee which is currently resting on the window above me.

IS THERE NO END TO THE ASSAULT FROM INSECTS??? I mean like, my house is on the 13th floor, how can insects fly that high?? Or maybe it's got to do with the number 13...

Fortunately, my trusty defender of justice(my broom) is resting on my lap. If any insects come flying near me, I'll wield it! I shall fan you away with my broom!! I have experience I tell you!!

These insects are so damn lucky I don't have the heart to kill them. My conscience will be screaming at me. ("HOW CAN YOU KILL JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE A STUPID PHOBIA OR INSECTS??!!!" )
Or they would long be the martyrs of the insect world. You know the famous inkblot test? I forgot the full name, some guy's surname. All I see are scary pictures of insects. And that's a very sure indicator that something's wrong with my mind. MY FEAR OF INSECTS IS TOO PARALYSING TO BE CONSIDERED NORMAL. Please, any psychiatrists out there who can help? For free of course.

~Lady Heidi, brave fighter too cowardly~

And this is a post I have to post. Victoria JC is full of bueatiful people. Are smart people naturally born with good-looking genes too? Must be, cuz I'm so pretty and smart. OOOOO bimbo alert.

So at VJ you only need to look in front of you and...
"WHOA CUTE GUY!!"
then you turn to your left..
"EH EH EH! THAT GUY IS SOOOO HANDSOME!!"
then you turn to the right...
"WOO!!! MAN OH MAN GORGEOUS!"
then someone will walk past you...
"OMG DID YOU SEE THAT??"

The girls are pretty too, in fact, if they were in any other JCs, there'll be alot of guys chasing after them.
So my advice to those ugly people, don't go VJ. Oh dear, I'm being so superficial. I'm sorry!!! T_T really sorry, I shouldn't have listened to my baser instincts...

But right now, I'm gonna aim for VJC.
BUAhAHA.

I read a book that has this character with a cupid's bow mouth. And on a hunch, I went to google the meaning of "cupid's bow"
and the result is...

Noun. Cupid's bow - the double curve of the upper lip when considered to resemble Cupid's bow

AHAHAHAHAHA NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU CALL ME A JOKER-FACE!
I don't have a joker mouth, I have a cupid's bow mouth...tra-la-la I have a cupid's bow mouth tra-la-la~

And because of my sudden(or permanent) bout of narcissm, I went to google some more...

"A person with upturned corners of the lips is more optimistic and more pleasant as company. "
"The more the mouth angles up, the more positively the person interprets the comments of others with optimism and humor. "
"A person with Cupid lips (Trendsetter lips) wins social following and sets precedents."

Gosh, you're so vain Heidi. HAHAHAHAHA.
I like my mouth now, so nyah! You can't say anything bad about it and if you do I shall just say "Bleeh Blooh Blah!"

~And Heidi once again dedicates a whole blog post to talking about herself~

I have so many things to say that I don't know where to start. So I shall not type any of the things I feel like typing about. Instead, I shall post something totally irrelevant.

During exams, I really wish I can be Harry Potter. Then I can say "Accio Brain!" and I'll finally be able to think when facing the endless questions on my papers.
Talk about not being able to seperate reality from fantasy.

~Heidi Potter would like to zoom the toilet next to her now~

I have decided to get a car when I'm in University(assuming I get to Uni).
I am a habitual late-comer, getting a car would mean..I'll only be a few minutes late.
And come on, it's very cool to have your own car in school. Hehe. Imagine if it's a Porsche. Whoa...

Of course, cars are expensive, the COE is outrageous. So what I'm hoping now is that I'll get to know my RICH RICH(say, US$600million in assets?) uncle very well and he'll get me a car on my birthday. But who am I kidding? Things like that don't happen, unless I look like Heidi Klum. But hey! At least I got the name correct
-->Heidi.

Or what about this, I happen to meet Bill Gates' son when I go to Malaysia for a vacation?
Perhaps a philantrophic footballer. Hm. Or maybe I could strike the lottery. TOTO!
Have a long-lost relative who left his/her inheritance to me.

The choices are many! Heck, I shall go befriend an elderly person now, someone rich.
Any grandmas or granddads out there, with networth of at least $1million, who needa companion?

~Heidi digs for gold~

Hello people, long time no blog, but that's just me and my forgetfullness.

With teen girls all around me, many are interested in interesting things. Like palmistry. So here we are, a bunch of 15-16 years old reading each others and our own palms.

"EH, where's your life line?? Omg, I think you will die soon."

"Hmmm you'll become a very famous person, when you are around 5 years old."

"WOO your husband is very handsome!! He's currently not born yet."

"Umm you'll have no children and 5 grandchildren."

"Your heartline is faint and umm let me check the book...Oh! You are a heartless person."

"Ok your head line is thin and broken, it means you are quite stupid."

"Your hands have a lot of lines, it means your life is very complicated, you'll probably die unhappy."

Please bear in mind that we are amateurs, whether all our predictions come true or not, stay tune to find out in 50 years' time.

~Heidi graduates suma cum baba from the school of Palmistry(internet edition)~

What a thrill-
My thumb instead of an onion,
The top quite gone
Except for a sort of hinge.

-Sylvia Plath
Cut

One thing that I don't like about Singapore is that you can hardly walk 100 metres without meeting 2 or 3 people. Heck, you can't even walk 10m and not have someone close by. The good thing is, if there's an axe murderer after you, you just need to scream loud enough and the probability of someone hearing you is much higher than in say, Antartica.

But I always bring along a penknife with me just in case umm...you know...*mumbles* I get raped...
So anyways, Singapore is too darn packed for me. We don't breed like rabbits, so why this lack of space? Because Singapore is one of the smallest countries in the world. We are like a speck of nose-sh$t(information courtesy of the Taiwanese).

Frankly, I get a little testy with all the people surrounding me. You did nothing wrong, just that you're breathing only 100 metres away from me. Would you mind moving another 1 kilometer away? Yes, thank you.

I like my private space. I like living in my own world. I like ignoring you if I don't feel like using energy to be bothered with you(actually most of the times I really don't notice people talking to me, unless you slap me or something, Marya knows.).
I like being able to shout and sing at the top og my lungs without anyone hearing me. I like having the freedom to walk around in my birthday suit without violating anyone's modesty(I don't by the way).

So sometimes...most of the times, I wish I have no friends, no nothing, then weee! I don't need to answer to anyone, I don't need to shower concern on you, neither do I need to listen to you! (you is in general, no particular person, I mean everybody) But that doesn't mean I find people irritating, it's just that HARLO SINGAPORE IS TOO SMALL FOR ME, IN FACT THE WHOLE DARN WORLD IS TOO SMALL FOR ME.
That's why I've always had a lifelong wish of going to Antartica. Ever since I saw all the cute little penguins that waddle just like me, freezing their butt out in the cold. Then again, they don't have much of a butt.

But of course, I like company too, when I'm in the mood for it. Most of the times I spent much energy entertaining everyone that I just feel exhausted and need to wonder off mentally for a while. Saliva costs energy, thinking of things to say uses brain power. You know all those crappy things I say? Those crap need carbohydrates. That's why I eat alot. Comes from all those rambling talks I do.
So...when I don't smile, it means I would rather you don't talk to me. I'm in my own world at the moment. Fortunately, I can't seem to get this silly grin of my face. Some spastic muscle retardation I have(I made up the term myself). I'm sorry if I snapped at you before, or give one-word answers or just nod and stuff. I should have known better and pasted a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my forehead first.

Ahh...that feels better. BUT don't worry, I've never lost my temper before and start screaming at people. If I do become annoyed, you can rest assured that I'm the type who will crawl and apologise to you even if you're in the wrong, if I think you're worth it. Although, if I smile and am pleasant to you, it doesn't mean I like you, I could be stabbing knives into you, in my head. Because I'm nice to everyone. *hyprocrite* HAHAHAHAHAH. Pfft.

There's always something beyond a mirror.

~Heidi, classroom hermit, half-time clown, part-time guru~

OK someone's blowing the recorder in the middle of the night.
ARGH I shall go play my organ full-blast too! LETS COMPETE MANO-A-MANO INSTRUMENT AGAINST INSTRUMENT. ANd my beloved organ has so many different instrumental sounds, lets see how you die recorder-blower!

Anyways I got twenty-freakin-four points for Prelims. Hallelujah. My friends' futures are bright, while I can't even see a single ember glowing in the distance. T_T
Actually I'm kidding. I'm going to be rich and powerful one day. I'll be Heidi Trump! Just you wait. MUAHAHAHA.

Oh shucks, she's hallucinating again.
...Oh my gawd. Recorder-blower is doing a chinese song, those you sing in the hills.
...........
................
......................
............................
I bet he/she/ah kua(tranvestite) doesn't know his base cleft from her treble cleft.

~Heidi, graduate of first class honours from the University of Self-Delusion~

Didja see me on the news, didja didja?? No? Oh well, I didn't too. Dang it. Nevermind, since there are so many news programmes around, I'm bound to see myself on TV again.
And whyfor, you ask, do I want to see myself on TV?
Well, because I'm a narcisstic person who just wants bragging rights. MUAHA. Actually, it's just for the kick of it, since I'm so ordinary people don't even want to see my on TV unless I'm naked or something.

~Heidi, star of her own universe~

I want to learn martial arts!! Not those tae-kwon-do stuff, but those you see on Tv in chinese period dramas.
Can you imagine how fun it would be to fly around and kill people? With swords as your everyday companion to explore the JiangHu(chinese martial arts world) Whoa.

Then I'll learn those top skills and be the Wu Lin Meng Zu(martial arts leader)
Yeah stop kidding yourself Heidi. You can't even kill a cockroach, much less a human.

*WATAH*

A pity we don't use martial arts to settle disagreements now. How much simpler it would be to just stab into someone's guts and be done with an argument. Woot.

Oh dear, I'm so violent.

~Master Heidi, expert at the art of crapping~

I went through Etiquette and Deportment course today and I learnt something very important. I am a cool person. Alright, it just means I am suited to wearing cool colours(colours which have blueish-purple as their bases). I do wish I am a Combination though, it means I can wear both cool and warm(colours with yellow as their base) colours.

I've learn how to walk too. One leg in front of the other. No really, I'm serious. From now on, I'm going to have a mantra in my head whenever I walk. At least in front of people. No point walking sexily to the bathroom in the middle of the night when no one can see you.

Here's how the mantra goes. "Back straight, shoulders raised, chin up, stomach in."<--Starting position "One foot forward, in line with the back foot for a feminine walk."<---Go! Or if I want a more catwalk style(when I'm trying to get hired by a lusty old boss)-->"Walk like you'e trying to hold your pee."

After this course, I foresee many people going to the doctors because of twisted hips.

Whoever knew you had to sip soup from a the back curved end of a gourmet spoon or that champagne comes from grapes from Champagne(somewhere in France).
Lets see if I can still remember the different types of champagne glasses.
There's the "tulip", biggest and roundest of the champagne glasses(in fact, I think I rather resemble it). There's the flute, which looks like well...a curvy flute(whoever knew flutes have figures). And finally(or maybe there's more) there's the coupe, which was shaped after a woman's breast. You'd think that the Europeans, sticklers for propriety would think better than to shape a glass after breasts.

I thereby conclude that due to the American's more relaxed attitude to fine dining, they are more round figured than their European counterparts. Due to the fact that Americans tend to consume less energy trying to cut their steaks, than the Europeans who insists on getting the fork and knife at exactly the right angle to deliver the coup de grace to a slab of meat.

I'm sorry for my use of some french words. I've been trying not to use bombastic words. But come on, get your dictionary's out whenever you read my blog. I'll help you improve your English.

I realised I have a firm handshake that can't withstand knuckle grinders. Knuckle grinders are the ones who squeeze your hand so hard that you can't help but wince and curse them mentally, when they shake it. And it's quite annoying to have people slip their hands out from yours after a brief touch, when you're trying to grip their hands firmlly. These people have the 'dead fish' handshake. Indeed.

I do wish I had more tips and lessons on image though. Besides knowing that my fringe affects how old I look(no wonder cab drivers always mistake me as a younger person) I would like to know how thin should my eyebrows be trimmed! I rather like my eyebrows though, they make me look quite...manly. Which isn't exactly the way I should look, being a girl and all.
Also, I wish to know how to lose weight in the fastest time possible(then again, if the lady conducting the course knew the way, she'll be a Gazillionaire by now) How to have a perkier butt, how to look like a million bucks. But I repeat myself. If the lady did know all these things, she'll be a Gazillionaire too.

Speaking of cab-drivers...I picked up a Sec 2 guy(the tallest guy in our sch, maybe 194 cm) because he was flagging for a cab and it was getting quite late. No, I don't know him at all. We weren't talking in the cab. I don't know him, he doesn't know me. We have nothing in common except for the same school uniform and that he's a human. So the cabby accused us of not talking, then proceeded to put me through one of the most mortifying 10min of my life. Yes, he tried to matchmake us. Oh man.
The guy ended up paying for ALL the cab fare, even though I was offering him half of the money and saying that I'll feel guilty if he pays everything. But he's such a gentleman(Awww). Yes, I know what you're thinking. "You'll feel guilty?? HAH. Don't kid yourself." Well ok, I didn't really feel guilty at that point for saving money, yet when I think about it later on, I realised he's all alone in Singpore without his family. So he may be a bit hard on cash. Darn Heidi. *slaps herself silly* What could I do?? He refused my money!!

Ok folks, that's all! Before I go though, I shall end off with a joke the lady told us in class.

Qn: What's the difference between a diplomat and a woman?

An: When a diplomat says "Yes", it means "Maybe".
When a diplomat says "Maybe", it means "No".
If the diplomat says "No", he's not a diplomat.

When a woman says "No", it means "Maybe".(Just go pester her somemore and she'll agree!)
When a woman says "Maybe", it means "Yes".(What are you waiting for? Hurry up go chase after her!)
If a woman says "Yes", she's not a woman.

BUAhaha.

~Heidi is neither woman nor diplomat. She just grunts.~

OMG did I just post about my weakness on the internet??

Today I went to watch 13 going on 30 with Marya. At first we went to Tampines Mall, then found out the earliest timing for the movie was at 9pm. Which was totally crazy because it was 11.30am in the morning. So we took taxi all the way to Lido. And that's totally crazy too because the cab fare costs $13.10. I could swear the cabby delibrately dorve slowly and went the long way. What a schmuck.

Anyways, the main aim for this outing today was that I want to go the White Sands library. BUT I ended up at Orchard Library instead. Although now it seems I know why I was ended up there.

While at the library, I picked up this book..."The Bipolar Child" and finally, questions I've been asking myself for years are solved.
I've always suspected I have attention-deficit disorder with hyperactivity(ADHD) when I was younger, now I know that it's true. Indeed, it got so bad my parents had to bring me to a doctor. I was also very impulsive, shouting out answers to questions that haven't been completed or interrupt people.
I never understood why I was always inattentive and careless in my work and hyperactive. I thought it was normal for children that age. Now come to think of it, it is NOT normal for children to be crawling around the classroom instead of sitting on a chair, at age 9. It is also not normal for a child to be cruel to animals. I didn't mean to do it, it's just that something drives me to strangle that baby bird to death and pour boiling water on that terrapin(and laugh while I did it). I often break things without meaning too.
All the doctor suggested to my parents was that I should be kept away from sweets. Huh. Like that's any help.
But the funny thing is, there are blank spaces in my memory when these events happened.(Although I do remember getting complaints from teachers about my behaviour, every year, throughout my childhood) Probably for the better, not to remember something that should make me feel ashamed.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I am not that hyperactive now, although I still suffer from Inattention and some obsessive-compulsive behaviour. I have to wash my hands many times a day. 10 times? No. 20? Close. I have obsessions with dirt and contamination, which means if some foreign object(like the metal of the table stands) touches my skin, I'll feel uncomfortable until I scrub my skin clean. Or perhaps I look at this stone and feel an compulsion to step on it. If I ignore the impulse and walk on, very often I'll walk back just to step on it.
It's senseless I know, still, I feel a sense of pressure and these actions relieves the anxiety.

You know when I sometimes act very silly and goofy all of a sudden, to the point of being weird. And I get this big inflation of ego where I start praising myself? Yes, that's part of the symptons. I can't help it, if it gets irritating, I'm sorry. ._.

And that's not all. You ever heard of self-mutilation? I suffer from that too. NO NO, don't be worried, I don't cut myself or anything like that. I am sensible ok. But I suffer from rages, have a powerful impulse to be aggressive(like throwing things around and breaking them) and I try to stop these behavious. The tension created by these two conflicting forces can only be relieved if I direct the pain at myself. So I have to dig my nails into my skin. Doesn't hurt, doesn't cause blood. Don't worry. Lol.

Sigh, I hope you all won't think I'm crazy or what. In fact, these kinda disorders are quite common and the reason why I'm typing it out is for myself. Myself to know that I'm not weird, just different. That wanting to scream out loud and break things are just the symptons. What I described today are just some of what I experience. And please lah, I'm not going to start coming after you guys with knives or whatever. -_______-""
Although occasionally(fine, frequently) I get the urge to squeeze some animals(my terrapins eheh) I rather hurt myself than hurt people.

~Heidi can barely contain herself~

Everything

everything to infinity
is everything from here
and the crushing emptiness
is everything you fear

echoing like crashing
waves of sadness break
the facade of "i'm ok"
is more than you can fake

drag you down, the everything
wraps around your feet
deep into the emptiness
you know that you've been beat

all who see the fragile hand
wince and look away
they can't help so they ignore
you've lost another day

everyone eventually turns around and goes
leaving you to bear the weight
of things that no one knows

desperate now you scream out loud
it's muffled by the space
you are alone in everything
this numb infinite place

--beautiful silence

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(forget it the picture can't be shown)

(ok forget it, the image can't be seen)

This is my terrapin Tack(the one in green) or Tac!! So cute right!!(the one in green)
And yes, that's a showerhead behind. Yes I'm in the toilet. Yes I took the picture. No I wasn't bathing.

Speaking of terrapins...my brother's terrapin died!! I really must be careful of what I say. Just a day before it died I was saying it's gonna die soon and now look what happened!

~Heidi of Delphi~

I pierced my ears yesterday. Why? Because I went in to the shop looking for a birthday present and we saw this girl getting here ears pierced. Being the curious(ok kaypo) girl that I am, naturally I went to ask the girl if it hurt.

"No." She said nonchantly.

Suddenly my friends had lightbulbs shining on top of their heads.

Marya: "Heidi!" *grabs my arm* "Pierce your ears too!!"

Everybody: "Yeah!!" *starts grabbing my arms*

Heidi: "Eh what!! NO I'M SCARED OF PAIN. NO NO!"

Girl(who got her ears pierced): "Hey it's not pain! You should really pierce your ears!"

Heidi: *thinks* Um..why is she asking me to pierce, have I met her somewhere before??

Everybody: "Yah, come on come on this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance!"

Heidi: *panicking and starts grabbing the railings* "No NONO over my dead body!!"
"And my body is sacred!!"

Marya: "Heidi you're acting like a girl!"

Heidi: "BUT I AM A GIRL!"

So I started squawking and tried to fly away from everyone. But in the end I had to pierce because they tore out my arms and Jacqueline was made to pierce with me(she has 3 holes in her ears now) Why would anyone in their right mind wants to damage their body?? And the worst thing was, that girl(she was the most enthusiastic about getting my ears pierced, Marya was the next, she just held on to my arm. You owe me an arm Marya.)

And the worst thing was, they all lied to me. Jacqueline and the girl said it wasn't painful at all. After I suffered, they told me they bluffed me and that it hurts like hell.

I have two bright shiny things sticking out of my ears now and very often I forget about them. So in Heidi style, I'll brush back my hair, flicking my ears(accidently) in the process. Oww. Big Ow. And I'm so afraid my ears would get torn out through some freak accident. I'm a very paranoid person, that's how I survived until now.

And the reason why they want to see me get my ears pierced?

"Because you're so tomboyish, I want to see you with these girly things."

"Oh I want to see you in pain.
BUT WHY??
"Because you have no reaction."
.......
I'll burn off your hair and you can show me your reaction.

So today Cynthia was telling me "Heidi I'm so proud of you!!"
"Har why?"
"Because you're feminine for once!"
"Huh."

Maggie?What about her??
"I'm wearing my glasses now and you look very pretty! Really!!"
Minutes later...
"Oh my god Heidi so pretty, you've blossomed over the years."
Seconds later...
"Heidi I can't stand it! AHH So chio!!"
Uh Mags, thanks but...you're scaring me. Heh.


Oh yeah, Happy Teacher's Day Eve!
And to the one who has to play the backstage person, here's my standing ovatation(sp) for you. *stands* CLAP CLAP CLAP *sits*
Catcalls and wolf-whistles galore!

~Heidi, sister of Frankenstein~

And this Maggie, today she was seated a table across me and she saw me and then she said "Heidi you look very pretty!"

Heidi: REALLY??

Maggie: Yah, because I don't have my glasses on.

Heidi: ................

Have you ever see a terrapin jump? I just did. My brother came up to me and said "Heidi(he just calls me by my name even though I'm 8 years older than him) do you want to see something funny?"
I gave a grunt, too engrossed with eating my chicken. SPEAKING OF EATING...Ok wait, I finish this story first.
So Bry put his(he bought one, copy-cat) terrapin on the floor and starting "BOO-ing" it. Like all jumpy(pun not intended) terrapins, it scrambled to get away from that source of disturbance. And when my Bro gave a particularly loud BOO! The terrapin(he calls it Toi-toi hur.) jumped up! Can you believe it?? I've never seen a terrapin jump before, even though I've hang out with them more hours than I can count(and I can count). Or maybe it's because my terrapins were too fat to jump(like their owner ._.)
Sometimes I get a really sadistic and I flip my terrapins over and twirl them around, or toss them in the air. Also I like to scare them because it's really funny seeing them scramble. Don't mind me, I'm just deprived. It's just that I never knew a terrapin could jump. I should go poke my terrapin now, to see if it can squeal.

"Bryan, I think your tortoise is going to die."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok now to the eating topic. Today I felt really tired and being tired mean I'll feel unwell too. CUZ I ONLY HAD 1 HOUR OF SLEEP. So I came to school feeling nauseous and I totally screwed my physics/chemistry MCQ. AND I STILL HAVE A FULL PAPER TO GO. During the break, I went to eat(hey...what do you expect). But then I still felt sick, then suddenly, while Marya and Cass were talking, I ran to the toilet. And hurl my lunch out. Darn it $1.50 down the drain...um, toiletbowl. That was the starting, I had to run to the toilet many times and my eyes were tearing(not crying!) and my whole face was red. I bet everyone thought I was crying because the paper was too difficult. HAHAHAH. I was just thinking "Heck the paper!"
And I had to go to the hall and sit for the next paper while trying not to show everyone the remains of what I ate recently(ew). I looked around my place and was deciding which direction to spit out some food when the urge comes. Left? Right? On my paper?

My mind couldn't function at all, much less do a mentally-challanging physics paper. And all the while I was fighting down that vomity-urge, so my eyes were tearing throughout. ARGH embarrassed. Fortunately, I managed to gulp down enough water to keep everything down(down where I don't know) Unfortunately, I got rather um...yah I needed to go to the toilet. Badly. But there was 40min more to go... The call of nature wins! I raised my hand and waved it around wildly when no one seems to be noticing. Then I asked the teacher, "May I have some more paper(not toilet paper, writing paper)...Um, can I go to the toilet too?"
2-in-1.

Anyways, puking isn't a bad thing, you get to eat and lose weight, though I realise that would be like having bulimia. No good. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?? I came home and asked my brother to buy KFC for me. @#$% Fried chicken 2 days in a row? Omg...I'm so weak when faced with temptation!! Must do more skiping! Up to 101 skips a day now!

~Heidi, condemned to Hell because of gluttony~

I was sooo disappointed when Li Jiawei of Singapore lost to Kim Hyung Mi of Korea. ARGHH there flies the silver medal.
Her lost cost me to injure myself when I flung my arms up in frustration and knock my knuckles against the hard hard wall. Oww.

Losing weight is almost impossible. I tell myself not to eat too much, then the next next next day I'll be eating fried everything. Call is a binge. So now, I've devised a new plan to lose that flab. Skip a hundred times a day, then do 6 crunches. The skipping thing is ok, I can a hundred a day. But the crunches(something like sit-ups) are harder to get over since I've to find a private place to do the excersize(don't want nobody to see me huffing to lift my chest up...)
I'll post here to see if I've made any improvements, or just end up getting more muscles and get heavier. *shudder*

I've went through my English Oral Examinations today. Have you ever said something then mentally slap your head and wished you had bitten your tongue? I think my mental tongue is all bloodied already with all the nonsense I've said.

Examiner: "Some people get bored when they go to the same place all the time. What about you?"
Heidi: *mumbles loudly* Sh(beep)t I don't go out at all..how to answer??
"Um. I prefer old places because I don't like changes.(Huh.) Um...I prefer things to be familiar because I know what to do(HAR??) oh maybe it'll be fun to go to new places(aren't you contradicting yourself??) but I still prefer old places because ah..I like old places.(Omg...)

Examiner: "Describe an occasion when you went out to somewhere unexpected"
Heidi: "Har? Uh as in I didn't expect to go there, or something unexpected happened? (You deaf ar?)
Examiner: "Somewhere unexpected."
Heidi: Uh wait ar, let me think(AHH!)
Heidi: Oh um...there was once my father wanted to bring me and my family to a farm. I was around 8 at a time and I like farms because I read in picture books(read? picture?) that there were a lot of baby chicks(chicks are babies you dolt!) and baby animals around. I like baby animals(...) so I was so happy. Then my father brought me to this place in the Hougang area and it didn't look like a farm because I expected chickens to be running around(chickens hurhur...maybe Geylang would be a better place) but there wasn't any. I discovered it was a crocodile farm and I was very disappointed and angry(yah right Heidi, the last time you were clamouring to go there with your friends) because I did not like crocodiles. I read in a newspaper once that a boy fell into a crocodile pool and got injured(This did not happen. I repeat, I was just faking) and I got scared of crocodiles ever since.(What a wimp)

Sigh. ._. I walked out of the hall wanting to bang my head against a table. But there was this incident where my friend ran out of the hall because she wanted to go to toilet. This isn't allowed since it is considered cheating. Fortunately, the examiners decided not to press the matter. But my friend got scolded really really badly, before and after her oral. Which is rather demoralizing and mean of the teachers actually. >=(

One thing good though, at least I didn't burp or land my saliva all over the teachers' faces as I had feared initially.
Hah.

~Heidi, violently self-destructive~

A class of nursery school kids are screaming and cheering loudly downstairs. "Jia you jia you!"(add oil add oil/cheering for someone) They are cute. Young, very young kids are cute. Preferbly kids too young to poke fun at the two extra things you have at your chest or that your face looks like an orange. Not that they do that to me of course, I'm just stating examples.
I love babies. I like kids too. It's just that kids have this smell of stale sweat and saliva about them. = Babies smell good. *Sniff sniff snifffff* ("AHHH GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD!!!")
But I'm certainly not cut out to be a kindergarden or primary school teachers. Much as I love kids, facing them 6 hours a day would put me off I'm not the ideal childcare teacher. I'll get impatient and hysterical at their every antics and then scream
(stop pulling her skirt up! put that vase down! No NO DON'T PUT IT DOWN...AWW DARN IT YOU BROKE IT!!)
and abuse them (TAKE THAT! *slap* AND THAT! *body slam*)
Sooner or later one of the kids will get a knife stuck in their backs courtesy of yours truly, then I would have to be fired from my job and be jailed for murder. Not good.

The day before, I went to a buffet dinner at Copthorne King's hotel. Peranakan(however you spell it) style.
Why do I always get to go to a buffet and gorge myself on good food? You ask.
Well, not this time. I was planning to really chomp on all the food I see, except that I was seated right in front of a 12 foot mirror. Each morself I stuff in my mouth, each bite I take, it gets reflected back right in my face.
Now how is a person able to eat in peace seeing each mouthful of sinfully fattening food go down your gullet and remembering the refrain, "Once past your lips, forever on your hips"??
I lost my appetite after the first 5 plates of food. Um yeah well, if I could eat 5 plates, seems like I haven't lost my appetite after all...

~Heidi the pork-face~

You are an INFP!
-->
As an INFP, you are Intraverted, iNtuative, Feeling , Perceiving.This makes your primary focus on Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition.
This is defined as a NF personality, which is part of Carl Jung's Idealist (Identity Seeking) type, and more specifically the Healers or Idealist
As a weblogger, you have wonderful words to express your feelings because of your idealism. Because you don't like conflict, you may be likely to make one list of links and leave it for a long time without updating for fear of offending.

LOL
yes, now you know why my links have been there without change for so long ...

Today is not my day. Then again, when is it ever?
I've a paranoia about losing my wallet ever since money got stolen from me in class. I was at the library today to re-do my homework and because I like staring at money every so often, I went to check my bag for my wallet. For those who know me well(or at least my bag well) you'll know that it's a mess. I couldn't find my wallet in there and from here begins the dimness that makes me, me. Rushing out with Cass, I went to my classroom to search for my wallet and I couldn't find it there. "Oh no! What if the thief strikes again!!" I mentally bit my finger nails.
Cass: It should be in your bag... -_-
Heidi: *GASP* What if! What if! It's in the lab??? Eh but I bought green tea just now, so I should have brought it down.
Cass: It should be in your bag...
Heidi: Or maybe I left it in the canteen, but couldn't be, or could it?
Cass: It should be in your bag...
Heidi: Um...Cass, I think it may be in my bag. Could you help me go check?
Cass: Yah ok *ran out*

Yeah and it turns out, it was in my bag.
Selina and Yi An: You stupid girl. Cass said that. HAHAH
Heidi: Yeah, what to do, I'm blur what. SIGH.

Little did I know there was more to come.
Around 5+pm, Cass felt tired and she wanted to go home. Wanting to defecate(check the dict) I agreed.

At the bus-stop...
Heidi: I shall accompany you home(because I'm nice). Can you take bus 371?
Cass: Yah, but then I'll have to alight and take another bus.
Heidi: Oh ok, then we'll wait for bus 163. ( I should have taken 371!!!)

After alighting at Cassandra's bus-stop...
Heidi: Eh um, I'm rather afraid of crossing roads...
Cass: Haha me too!
*Two girls ran screaming across the road*
Heidi: Ahh my bus coming!!
*Ran across to wave at the bus*
Cassandra shouted from across: Heidi! That's the wrong bus!!
Heidi: *thinks* Oh no...I flagged it, sigh, might as well take the bus, it can't take me to far right??(HAH BIG MISTAKE HEIDI)
So Heidi alighted the bus 857(just a number's dfference from bus 854)
From the driver's window, Heidi could see Cassandra shouting that it was the wrong bus, but Heidi mouthed back "I know."
And so Heidi proceeded to nonchantly sit down and stare out of the window, all the while thinking that it'll be alright. Then the bus started turning right to CTE(I don't know what it stands for but it's a highway that I have no way of getting out of)
The bus did not stop for a long time.
"Oh my gawddd where am I???"
Cassandra called on Heidi's handphone.
Cass: Heidi! You've taken the wrong bus!!
Heidi: Yah I know...Um where am I???"
Cass: I don't know, just take the bus out of CTE.
Heidi: Har...How long?"
Cass: *laughs* Very long.
Heidi: Darn it.

So Heidi sat on the bus and thought "Pride is one of the seven deadly sins, I've sinned! If I've known I would have just be embarrassed for a short while and get off the bus T_T Now where the heck am I??"
And the bus went along its merry way.
In the end Heidi had to take a cab home because she was all the way in Whampoa(which she has no idea hot to get out of)
So what should be a 5 min ride costing a transport fee of 60cents turned into a 30min long ride costing $11.
And the cabby was laughing his ass out at her.
"How could you have gotten lost??"
Heidi: Mmm...*nods*
Cabby: Now lets see how to get you out of here, tsk tsk, very difficult. Traffic jam you see...Hmm maybe we can turn left here, then go straight to the flyover, then turn right...*blah blah blah*
Heidi: Uh yes yes *all the while thinking that should the cabby decide to drive her to an abandoned place to attack her, she has a penknife as defence*

And when they finally arrived at her house, the cabby decided to give her $1 discount. Oh how kind.

I wonder why I haven't killed myself yet because of my absent-mindedness. A miracle indeed.

~Heidi the Blur~

And because it's Singapore's Birthday tomorrow, my blog song for this week(or day or month, who knows) shall be Singapore's National Anthem, composed by Mr Zubir Said.

You know, I really have to be careful of what I think of. I've always have this experience where I'd think of something, lets say a show or a song, then later in the day(or the next day, or next few days) I'll either hear the song, or see the show.
Today I was holding a glass or hot chocolate in my hands and I scrutinized the glass. It was really cute, with measurements(eg. 50ml, 100ml) printed on the surface. Then at different measurements, there'll be lines connecting them to a picture of a beverage(eg. coffee, orange juice, coke(!)) So for coffee it's 171 calories for some 100ml, beer would 80 calories for um..you get the drift. I thought to myself,
"hey this glass is really nice, I should be careful not to break it."

Fast forward 2 hours later.
Washing dishes in the kitchen, I broke the very glass I was telling myself to be careful with(and I don't know how it happened, it just broke). I felt something bumped my toe, and I thought "Hm. Lets hope it doesn't bleed."
Bending down to pick up pieces of glass on my kitchen floor, I saw drops of blood. At first I thought my mom stepped on some glass, then I realise my toe was bleeding(please bear in mind my toe wasn't really hurting, so I didn't realise I got cut)
Be careful of what you wish for!

Then again, it doesn't always have to be bad, I was lazing around in bed yesterday, thinking about this particular movie starring Lin Qing Xia, and that I would really want to watch it again. Then lo and behold! I checked the newspaper today for tomorrow's TV schedule and I see this movie's title.
And there were songs that I desperately wanted to hear again, and I went to turn on the radio and the songs started playing next.

Of course I'm not really trying to say I'm psychic or whatever, just that this kinda cute things do happen to me often. The mind works wonders I say. I'm going to be a future billionaire. Repeat, I am going to be a future billionaire.

~Madame Heidi thinks, therefore she is ("I think, therefore I am")~

As of now I owe several people over $20. Why? Because I went to buy my Fann Wong vcd. Yes, no doubt I'm a Fannatic.
Here's the list
Yi An: $20
Shu Yi: $2
Marya: $13.40(as part of the Cheapo gang, every cent counts. And I do mean every cent)

But fortunately, I've got people owing me money as well.
Aky: $5.50
Hui Qian: $5.50
Cynth: $5.50

Well, because of this borrowing money thing, Shu Yi has asked me if it's worth it, whether it's a want or it's a need(oh need defly)
But what's the fun in buying something you only need?
I remember this conversation between a guy called Adrian(who happens to be quite compatible with Marya) and his friends.

Friend: Eh you're so rich, don't be a miser! Buy the band ticket and go with us!
Adrian: I'm rich because I'm a miser, the more miserly you are, the richer you are!

(I've corrected their english here)

Which is very true actually, the more miserly you are, the richer you'll be. An important life lesson learnt while I was eating noodles in the canteen.

I'm displaying anything but miserliness by buying the $59.90 VCD. OH but I asked the shop assistant(up to now I still can't make out if he/she is a guy or a girl) if there's a discount and there is! 5%! So I ended up having only to pay $51.20, plus I got a free 'I' magazine(though it's in chinese and it's giving me a headache but hey! There's Fann Wong inside) And I even have two contest entries in a contest(duh)!
1st prize is a trip to Hong Kong!
3rd prize is $30 Poh Kim(a vcd/cd/dvd/whatever d) shop.

I can't remember the second prize because I didn't read it.(which means I couldn't forget something I don't even know, so remember isn't the correct word here.)
I'm more interested in the voucher though. Because if I go to Hong Kong, I would need to speak chinese. And with the way I speak chinese, I would starve before I even get to order my first dumpling.

~Heidi leads the topic to food again~

 

After 4 years of waiting, the vcd of  "The Legendary Swordsman", starring Fann Wong, is finally out!
MY GOD DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY I WAS TO SEE IT SELLING IN THE SHOP?? NO YOU WILL HAVE NO IDEA.

I always knew I am a particularly patient person. No, the one isn't patient, it should be tenacious(I'm not complimenting myself, just remarking on a fact). After all, which person could wait 4 years for a show to be vcd-ised?

Anyways, the cost of the VCD is $59.90. Darn it. So expensive, it'll take me at least 3 weeks of extreme saving. And I have a fear that the Vcd will be sold out while I'm saving for it. =\ Nevermind, by hook or by crook, I WILL get that Vcd.

~Finally, a reason for Heidi to go on a diet besides cutting fats~

Hi potatoes!!
Um. That just came out spontaneously.
So I haven't been posting for quite a while. You know why?  Yeah, too lazy as always. Anyways, my class(4e6) had to switch from a comfortable(at times smelly..permanently smelly) air-conditioned classroom to a dusty, dirty and stuffy non-air conditioned classroom. *BAWL* T_T

At first, I was really pissed at my form teacher. He likes coming to our class and checking our dustbin. "What is all the foodstuff doing here? I warn your guys ah, one more time and you have to move out." Well, one day he finally made good on his warning.
"But we just came back on Sat to sweep and mop the classroom!!!"
"Yah."
"Can we don't move??"
"Don't bargain with me."
"You always come to our classroom only check our dustbin, you never go see other places! We're already improving!!"
"You're moving tomorrow."

At first I was really pissed with him. Made me went through so much trouble moving my suff from one class to next. Does he know how utterly messy my place is??
You can actualy feel the dislike emanating from my class when he steps in. The hate travels in gamma rays to stun him. The particles have a half life of 0.0000001 counts per 30min. Sorry, got too caught up in physics, if you don't understand, it's ok, I don't understand what I was typing too.

On with the story. At first I was really pissed with him. Made--Umm, said that already.
But then, beneath his supposed glee at our frustrations and raging at having to move(or maybe that glee was genuine) I saw a glimmer or hurt and sadness.
=Then while he and Mrs...(Something, forgot who), were in our new class supervising he told her "If they have a knife now, it will be plunged in my heart."
Ohhh. In just one simple sentence meant to be humourous, I analysed pain. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.
So right now, I'm just trying to enjoy the experience of being in a new classroom. I think he's just meaning to punish us for a little while and is gonna move us back soon.

So well, lets not act like spoiled brats for the duration =X

~Heidi goes mountain guru~

My class, 4e5 and 5n1(and maybe 5n2) is going to have a motivation workshop tomorrow from 8.30am to 5.30pm. Apparently our principal thinks us in need of motivation before our O levels arrive. Well...I can't disagree with that.

So they are going to motivate us for like 9 hours. -_-"

I wouldn't mind going for that social etiquette course though, especially if the coach happens to be Coach Johnson Joshua Luke(Manhunt's winner of 1999. Mr Singapore I think)
He has got to be one of the sexiest coach I've ever seen. *melts into a puddle* I was screaming over him as all teenage girls are wont to do.
Too bad he has a fiance, and he happens to love her very much(he admitted it in class)
1, 2, 3, now...AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Who can resist a boyishly handsome man with devastating charm, and loves his wife loads???

Darn. I wish I could get a man like that.

~Heidi goes ga-ga over a (almost)married man ~

True Colors

You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow

Hey, thanks to those who came to wish me and give me presents today. =)

To the Cheapo Gang: Thanks especially for the terrapins, and taking the time and effort to go and search for them. Hehe.

Although I do wish my $20 birthday money wasn't stolen. It's the only gift I can expect to get from my family. Hurhur.

~Heidi and the goa...gifts~

Happy birthday Heidi and many happy returns. Now a poem for you.

Heaven not as beauteous
Ether not as sweet
Ice cream not as fat and
Dessert not as rich as
I think I am.

HAHAHAHA

Now that I am officially sweet sixteen, I shall carry out my duties dilligently and passionately.
What's so sweet about being sixteen really...Makes me think that I must do something special in my sixteen year to make it sweet. And one asks, what can one do to make a year special? Sex?
And before everyone thinks I'm a lust-crazed bimbo(I wouldn't mind bimbo though) I shall state that I, Heidi Ng, shall live each year like um...Like I live each day.

Which kinda not make sense, but makes sense when you actually think about it.

~Heidi is sweet and (now) sixteen~

I walked out of the Oral Examination Hall grinning from ear-to-ear. Those who are going to take your O level oral examinations one day, relax. I didn't. HAHA. But actually it turned out rather well, at least I could say some things(though stuttering all the while in Chinese) and the examiners had to prompt me a few times and come to my rescue with a few chinese words(after hearing me whisper to myself "Oh shit what's the chinese word for heritage")
and so on.

The questions they posed me were rather easy (in fact, I had practise what I was gonna say, and the topics really came out. Also, I could hear the examiner asking the friend in front of me a question "Should parents let their children do housework?" and so I had more time to prepare. HAHHA)

Nevermind if you do not know what I'm rambling about now, just know this---I'm quite pleased with my stutterings. HAHAH.
Now I can probably enjoy my birthday in peace tomorrow.

Umm guys, it's ok, don't need to fret about presents.

~The last day of Heidi as a 15-year-old *sob*~

I was washing my hands and feet in the toilet(I have a sort of compulsion to wash my hands whenever I feel that they are dirty, which is like no less than 10 times a day. No kidding.)
when my brother called out "HEIDI!! Can we borrow your ribbon?"

Feeling annoyed because I thought he'll probably use it for some inane purposes, I yelled "For what?"

"Can I borrow your ribbon?"

"For what??"

"Can I borrow your ribbon?"

"FOR WHAT???!"

"For your birthday present."

"Oh. *grumble for the sake of appearances* Take some then."
I must admit, I'm rather touched so see him trying to tie my present(which was out of my sight) by reading a book on tying ribbons, with ribbons and a scissors surrounding him.
After a while, he went to my room and presented a small box with a rattling sound.

"Do you know what is this?"

"Yah sweet. Purple or orange."

"How do you know?? Smarty pants"

Well, probably because I caught site of a box of Ricola sweets lying around somewhere.

"Do you want this?"

"Uh. My birthday is not today."

"Oh."

Thanks anyway bud.
It's hard to enjoy a birthday when your O level oral is just the day before though. Believe it or not, I manage to forget I'm going to turn 16. HAHAHAHAH

~Heidi the Peter Pan~

I just watched Message in a Bottle starring Kevin Costner(he's one hot guy(if you discount the non-washboard abs)) and Robin Wright Penn(pretty).
Guess what?
I hate the bloody ending.

*Warning: Spoilers ahead*

You make such a romantic love story and let the guy die in the end?? Sure he did it to save some woman, but the woman died too, so what's the bloody point??? Argh. Nicholas Sparks(the author of the book) writes like a woman(Danielle Steele(although at leasts she gives better endings)). He's about to tell her he loves her as much as he does his late wife(which is a lot mind you) and he dies. Darn it. Pay $$ to get depressed. Hmpf.

*Spoilers ended*

The world needs more happy endings. Personally, I've never really seen one, so I have some doubts about them. Well, as they say, if you can't live it, read it.(or at least I said it)

~Heidi hates sad endings~

Some say I look prettier, some say I look like a kid with my new hair style. Nevermind, hair'll grow back.

I'm so stressed lately, trying to complete all my holiday homework. Now, you ask, why didn't I do my homework since they are supposed to be holiday homework?
Well, I'll reply, you actually expect me to do my homework? Much less holiday homework.
But I'm feeling so tired recently, fatigue for no reason. AND my appetite! Sometimes I don't feel like eating, sometimes I'm ravenous. Perhaps I'm getting a disease. O.L.D --> O Levels Disease.

~Heidi has aged~

OH I CUT MY HAIR!! My raven tresses(just let my praise my hair alright!) are gone!
I told the hairdresser I wanted him to cut my hair below chin-length. But now! It's above chin-length! The difference is 5 cm you know that??

I look like a professional now. Those stock-brokers or female executives. Those who wear power suits and pumps. I don't look like a Heidi the sheepdog anymore T_T
I'm more of a Sally, or Jane or Peumonia(it sounds like that) now.

At least the hair cut costs $10, so it's quite ok. Don't laugh at my new look alright!

~The Peumonia formerly known as Heidi~

Happy birthday Cynth! Though we can't celebrate your birthday for you on the day itself, we are gonna watch Spider-Man 2 together another day!

I wonder if 10 years later, your laughter would still be as explosive as now. And I intend to find out!

I think the taxi-driver who drove Marya, Cass and me back yesterday, thought we were a little not right in the head.

First it started with me telling him to take the route to Hougang, but stop us when the meter reaches $6. ($6 divide by 3 persons = $2 per person)
He was confused at first, then incredulous when he realised what we wanted him to do.

Then, the 3 of us had an argument about the 5 cents we owe each other. Yes 5 cents. Not 5 dollars, not 50 cents or even 10 cents(though arguing about 10 cents per se is already quite ridiculous). 5 cents that wouldn't even buy a piece of pebble on the floor.(Those things cost $2.50 when decorated)

Perhaps the last straw was when Marya exclaimed over Bubbles. Bubbles as in the Powerpuff Girls.
"Oh BUBBLES!!" *taxi-driver turns to look at her(Marya)* "Turn around!!" (turns out in the car beside us was a Bubbles doll hanging from the window. Her back was facing us.)

Fortunately the driver did not show his alarm, instead he calmly said, "My guess is that she doesn't want to look at you."

When at last we decided to stop at a bus-stop(the meter read $7.10), Cass said that the fare was difficult to divide. To which Marya spout out a fortune-cookie bit of wisdom, "nevermind, we'll just scissors, paper, stone to see who pays the most." Ahh... Case closed.

Doubt not that we are from the Cheapo gang indeed.

~Heidi scrimps on food for once~

Mags happy birthday! Hope you enjoy wearing the T-Shirt we spend hours shopping for you.(Even though all you did was grunt your dis/approval of our choices)

So what can I say...Nothing that you don't know. Best friends always! MUAH =D

The sand! The sea! And the waves! Today, the badminton team went biking at East Coast Beach. From 9am till 4pm! Whoa. I biked too but due as I'm still suffering a bit from coughs, I ended up getting breathless too soon. Mucus hasn't cleared yet.

End of story.

~Heidi will think of things to post later on(now she is still recovering her breath)~

The sun is shining and the birds are singing, a beautiful day to everyone, a mockery to mine.

I had came down with a bout of sore throat, then it progressed to cough, then to fever, and the finale...Flu.
Mind you, I had..have all these things at the same time. And to think just a few days ago, I was musing in my shower about how nice it would be to have some illness or two and let everyone fuss over me for once. I should have been more specific. ONE illness at a time. Also, I should have remembered "be careful of what you wish for" my wishes always seem to come true...in the most disastrous way.

Though I've been dutifully attending school(despite this being the holidays) and sitting for my exams, I realised that today(meaning Wednesday) I simply couldn't sit through another exam while coughing and splattering blood on the paper.(Maybe the fact that I had chemistry paper later that day had something to do with my decision too)

So off to the clinic I went. That was the first time I've been to a clinic on my own. No, it wasn't because I was too much of a baby to come alone in the past, it was because I use to let my illness worsen till my parents had to drag me to the clinic. Besides, I can barely recall the last time I was sick.

The receptionist at the clinic was an Indian lady. Rather short and *ahem* fat. Not that I have anything against fat people of course! It's just that she was chatting on the phone while I stood in front of the counter waiting for her.
"How rude" I thought. Since she was obviously going to ignore me and continue chatting about who-knows-what with who-knows-who on the you-know-what, I had to sit on a chair and wait for her. After 5 minutes, just as I was to bristle with righteous indignation and demand to see the doctor, she put down her phone and grunted(ok, maybe not grunted), "yes?"

It's amazing how receptionists seem to have this defense mechanism which enables them to know when someone is at a breaking point. Very helpful in keeping them from being murdered.

"I'm here to see the doctor" I mumbled. Like duh, Heidi, you're at the clinic aren't you. After filling up some forms, I was back to waiting on the seat again. All clinics look rather alike from the inside, sterile, cold and colourless, in the sense that the colours have no vibrancy to them. Then again, pale colours are supposed to relax aren't they?

But the last time I've been to a clinic, it looked very much like this one, only I was very nervous at that time. Probably because I had to take an injection for my dog bite(Yes ha ha I got bitten on my hand by a dog) And I remembered sitting on a seat(just like the one I'm sitting on now) an worrying about how much pain I was going to go through and how big that needle was. Needle...Needle!

Oh goodness, they wouldn't give me an injection would they? Maybe my illnesses need an injection. Oh pain! Pain! Frantically, I looked to the receptionist for reassurance. Instead of giving me a big warm smile, she strode from behind the counter and out of the clinic. I could barely resist the urge to hang on to her leg and plead. "Tell me! Just tell me there's no injection will you!"
Get a grip of yourself Heidi. *grip*

But alas, I was left alone to face my fears. Just behind me, separated by a wall, I could hear the drilling going on.(The clinic was divided into 2 sections, dental and medical) Someone was going through the torture of having their teeth drilled. Oh gawd, this just gets worse and worse.

Another receptionist strode in. This one was a Chinese. She was tall and thin and she motioned me into the room, where the doctor is. Finally. Hesistantly, I opened the door.
A bespectacled and lanky doctor sat on his grey armchair. "Hello," he smiled pleasantly, "please sit"
Why is it that all doctors seem to have this comforting glow about them that sets people at ease? Except for the doctor I had last year, the one who treated my bite, bloody irritating that doctor. I wish I could bottle up this charisma most doctors have.

"Now, what do you have" That voice! So gentle and kind...I almost melted. Almost. A pity he wasn't handsome.

"I have fever, and sore throat and cough..and.."

"Any runny nose"

"Yes yes!" I exclaimed, pleased that the doctor knew.

"Ok, open your mouth..yes now say ahhh"

"Arllhh..."(or the best I could do with a stick inside my mouth)
The doctor turned away quickly. DO I HAVE BAD BREATH OR SOMETHING??! I checked my breath, nope, smells lemony.

"Yeap, your throat is a little red and swollen."
Oh yes Doctor, ask me about my headache too!

"Well, let me check your breathing, turn around now." And he put on that sexy stethoscope. Um, I mean the stethoscope itself was sexy. When I was younger, I had to lift up my shirt while the doctors listen to whatever is going on inside me. I wonder why don't I have to do that now. Or am I not suppose to lift it up at all?

"Hmm, there's no phelgm in your lungs, so it's good"
And he wrote down whatever symptoms I had on a paper.
No no! There's more doctor! I wanted to exclaim. Ask me about my coughing fits in the middle of the night! How I couldn't sleep and had to toss and turn in my bed for days because of the itch in my throat and the fever in my brain! Ask whether my limbs and joints ache, the throbbing behind my eyes, the blurriness of my vision the miserable croaks that I come out with when I try to yodel! Bah, and just a while ago you were worried of getting injections.

Well, don't people do that? Worrying about every little symptom and telling them in detail to the doctor, wanting the doctor to confirm their worse fears "You've got cancer!"
Indeed, I've often wonder whether people are more disappointed when they've been told they have no such disease. Kinda spoils the anticipation doesn't it.

As the doctor sent me out of the room, I fought another urge, to cling onto the doctor and assure him I'm worse off than I look.
I dragged myself out of my delicious bed and waited for so long while a grumpy ol' fa...Lets not come to name-calling shall we. While I had to sit under the glower of the receptionist, just to have less than 5 minutes with the doctor?? I demand at least half an hour of my time!! But obviously the doctor couldn't read my mind.
As the door closed firmly behind me, I gave into a coughing fit. Not a fake one of course! Right.

I walked over to the counter and gazed imploringly at the receptionist(Indian). Please please pleaseee don't make me wait again. She looked at me through the tops of her eyebrows, "sit" she said curtly. DARN YOU DARN YOUR EYEBROWS DARN THE COUNTER DARN MY SOCKS.

"Yes ok"

As I sat there, I had nothing else to do except to wait. One day I'm gonna write to the Government about how inefficient clinics are. By the time some patients have finished waiting, they've already stopped breathing.

I stared ahead. At the wall. With the kiddy posters. An elephant with a discoloured trunk. A cat with an eye missing. Pictures to reassure the kids who are patients at the clinic, no doubt. Oh puh-lease, who are they trying to kid. Kids? I'd be whimpering in fright at these sinister pictures. Then again, I've always been a paranoid child. Indeed.
The receptionists in front of me. One tall and thin, and the other short and fat. Do they have any idea how much they resemble the Bonnie and Clyde puppets?

Suddenly, there was a thump on the wall behind me. The thump vibrated through my seat and knock me forward. Heavens! Did someone in the dental clinic just lunged himself against the wall?? *shudder*

"Heidi, is it?"

No, it's Ms Ng to you. I sniffed disdainfully.Or at least you could have if your nose wasn't blocked with mucus. Oh. Well. I tried.

"Yes."

"Here is your medicine. Drink this 3 times a day and this one once a day and this one..."
Her words fade into a blur and my eyes glazed over. What'd you expect? I have a negative 'C' personality. Meaning I'm not cautious and concentrated, ergo I'm not that big on details. Ergo distracted loony.

"Yes ok bye bye"

"Wait! That'll be $29.40 please"

p/s: Later when I got home, I could swear there were fluids in my lungs. Even now! Due to a streak of self-destructive personality I have, I refuse to eat the pills. Actually, I wouldn't have gone to see the doctor if it wasn't the MC I needed to cover up for my one day of absence from exams. Just imagine, $29.40 for an MC. Serves you right for drinking her lemon tea. Humpf.
I know this entry is very long, but I haven't been posting much recently, so this is a treat for all ye, my loyal readers. Heh.

pp/s: I tend to have side conversations with myself, in my head. That's why you see all these italicized words. Go loony! Oh shut up you.

~Heidi and the mucus~

"Have you ever like committed a crime?"

"Yes. One time I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were "Satan's Panties.""

The Lonely Goatherd

Maria:
High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Folks in a town that was quite remote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Lusty and clear from the goatherd's throat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

the Children:
O ho lay dee odl lee o, o ho lay dee odl ay
O ho lay dee odl lee o, lay dee odl lee o lay

Maria:
A prince on the bridge of a castle moat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Kurt:
Men on a road with a load to tote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

the Children:
Men in the midst of a table d'hote heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Maria:
Men drinking beer with the foam afloat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

One little girl in a pale pink coat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Brigitta:
She yodeled back to the lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Maria:
Soon her Mama with a gleaming gloat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
What a duet for a girl and goatherd
Maria and the Children:
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Maria and the Children:
Ummm (ummm) . . .
Odl lay ee (odl lay ee)
Odl lay hee hee (odl lay hee hee)
Odl lay ee . . .
. . . yodeling . . .

Child:
One little girl in a pale pink coat heard
Maria:
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hoo hoo
Child:
She yodeled back to the lonely goatherd
Maria:
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Maria:
Soon her Mama with a gleaming gloat heard
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hmm hmm
What a duet for a girl and goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Maria and the Children:
Happy are they lay dee olay dee lee o . . .
. . . yodeling . . .
Soon the duet will become a trio
Maria:
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

Maria and the Children:
Odl lay ee, old lay ee
Odl lay hee hee, odl lay ee
Odl lay odl lay, odl lay odl lee, odl lay odl lee
Odl lay odl lay odl lay

the Children:
HOO!

Happy belated birthday Shi Ying! I know, I know...it's like 1 week late, it's just that Blogger has so many problems lately that I am too lazy to go try my luck.
I do hope you enjoy hugging the bear that we gave you, it shall be your temporary boyfriend, and best of all...It's White!
Hehe.

Sorry, no poems, I have no inspiration these days. I will write all the poems I owe one of these days. The problem is, I don't know when. HMMMM.

Cassy! Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoyed your bedtime nursery rhymes. I'll write a poem for you tomorrow, now can't think. Or maybe I shall tell it to you. EHEH

Ok two birthdays to mention today, first one is Cerian Mak. Happy Birthday! Lol, yesterday never log on so couldn't post. As per normal, here's a poem composed by yours sincerely.

Candles candles burning bright
Every night and every day
Reaching places with their light
I wish I may, I wish I might
And I wish for you, a
New year of joy

Best of luck for your Os!
Oh btw, the first letter of every sentence makes up your name. Hehe, yes I know, the first and 4th line sounds familiar.

I've been trying not to smile recently. Or frown, or make any expressions on my face. CUZ I WILL GROW WRINKLES FASTER THIS WAY!!! I can't undo 15 years of laughing madly, but I can put a stop to more wrinkles! (I have lots of laugh lines btw)
Which is strange really, I complain about being mistaken for a Sec 2, and here I am, worrying about wrinkles. Lol.

So anyways, I can't seem to remember not to raise my brow(s) or smile, or frown or make funny faces. So it ends up, while I'm laughing halfway, I'll stop suddenly and look serious. "AHAHAHAHA" then expressionless. =|
But the thing is, I'm the type to smile to myself even when walking along the street(makes ppl think I'm crazy, whenever I do that, people walk faaar away from me)
Cuz when you think happy thoughts and remember funny things, you'll laugh naturally right!
=\
Oh there again, making expressions at the screen.

No wonder people think I'm weird.

~Heidi with the wrinkly face~

Oh I think I'm going to be in the study group programme soon, cuz I failed both maths(F9) and chinese.
HMM...
Stay in school everyday until 7pm. Maybe I'll finally get some studying done.

CD(s) I want to buy
-Harry Conick Jr's latest album.(OO I just can't wait)

Things I ought to do(Ok, I'll never finish this, lets change it to, What I have to do to myself)
-Get a haircut.(my hair is getting too long, 20cm more and it'll reach my waist. *shudders*)
-Lose weight(as always)
-Get rid of the rest of my zits(I think I'll miss them though, they've been with me for the past 6 years)
-Get rid of my chest hair(Just kidding)
-Slash my wrists(I should priortise this one, the world would be a better place without me *oh woe* Too bad I'm scared of pain and I rather love life)

I think that's enough reforming I can undergo at one go *heh pun*, I seriously think the world needs more of people like me(LOL) Then again, there wouldn't be enough mental instituitions to go around so...better not. World Peace .V.

~Heidi's jaw is dropping pretty often late, that's a good thing~

When people guess your age, how old do they think you are?
Just the other day, a taxi driver tried to guess my age. (I take taxis whenever I'm late, which is like, everyday. Almost.)

Taxi uncle(strange how I never get female drivers): So are you in sec 2?
Heidi: Hah..ah..no Sec 4.
Taxi: *shocked* Oh wow, O levels this year right.
Heidi: Yeah..yeah...

Lets rewind back to last week.

Another Taxi Driver: You are in sec 1?
Heidi: *thinking, "My Gawd..."* Umm no, sec 4.
Taxi Driver: Oh! O levels this year! You are so short.
Heidi: Ah yes.
Taxi: You're a dragon right? Born in the year of the Dragon.
Heidi: Yah.
Taxi: Dragons are very smart, I thought I was smart enough but ta ma de!*a swear word* got this Dragon kid who was so much smarter than me. You should be very smart right!
Heidi: 0_0'

Another week before.

Yet another Taxi Driver: so how old are you this year..14?
Heidi: 16.
Taxi: OH! So old ar...O levels this year hor?
Heidi: Haha yah. *blah*

Well, at least they still know that I'm in sec school, cuz I told them to drive me to X**min Seconday(it's in stars cuz I don't want people to be able to find my blog in Yahoo by typing the sch name)

Whenever I meet some strangers on the lift though...It's mostly Sec 2 guesses.
-______- Well at least it's now Secondary School, they used to mistake me as a Primary School Student when I was in sec 1 and 2.
Darn. I'm getting older.

p/s: and please, no saying that I look immature. >:(

~Heidi's clock ticks extra slowly~

Today I had chinese oral examinations.
MUAHAHAHA.<--That's a laugh when you've totally screwed something up.

My Examiner was Mr Tian A.K.A Pervert. Earlier on I was telling the girls in our class that when we face him, we'll just pretend the weather's very hot and we have to cool ourselves---by pulling down our collars seductively and saying in a breathy voice "Oh, it's so hot..." Then we'll automatically get high points, cuz he'll be so..um enamoured.
But too bad I forgot to do that when I had to face him.
As he's from China(or Hong Kong or Taiwan or whatever) he has this very strong accent.
As I read through my passage, mentally I was slapping my forehead and berating myself "Shit shit shit"
Chinese isn't my cup of tea(or coffee). I can't speak it without sounding like my tongue is tied up in knots, and I can't speak it fluently. Meaning, imagine a person speaking broken English and stuttering. Yes, it's that bad.

So Mr Tian asked me lots of questions in chinese. I was thinking of my answers in English then trying to translate them, but it was too slow, so I gave up. I bungled all the way through, until he came to the last question.

Tian(it means 'sky' in chinese): Ji ji bu ba me mo le bloo ji meh?**
Heidi: *jaw drops*
Tian: *sensing student's confusion* *repeats the question in a less complicated way.*
Heidi: OH oh..um..blah blah bl-- *suddenly mind blanks out* Umm..*slaps forehead and mutters "shit"* teacher, wait, let me think...*a few seconds passed* ah blah blah.
Tian: Do you have anymore things to add?
Heidi: *panics, thinks to herself "Oh man! I must say some more?? I think I'm better off not saying anything"* Umm...nothing left to say. Thank you teacher. Bye. *gets up quickly and walk away*

Yah, that was the scenario. Yes, I've just messed up. Yes, I'm sure it happened that way. No, I think they won't give me another chance. Yeah, I'm dead meat.


**(Translated to English) "blah blah blah what do you think of the tradition of giving gifts during special days." (At least I think he was saying that)


~From now on, speak only chinese to Heidi~