Witnesses.

The typical NS man, when nearing his ORD date, would have the opportunity to clear offs and leaves. Sadly, due to the fact that I'm in a operational unit, and with the coming of IMF on the 11th of September, I'm forced to expand my leaves in June.

Today I went street witnessing with Anthony. At first I was full of apprehension; I haven't really done a street witnessing in years. But deep down, I knew I had to do it. The time for talk is over, now is the time to act.

So armed with nothing more than faith and a wavering courage, Anthony and I roamed the vast expense of City hall, but there wasn't a soul in sight whom we could approach. In the end we managed to talk to this Indian guy named Kumar.

Now, I was careful not to enter into a theological or intellectual debate. I was there to tell the truth, that's all. And the truth we proclaimed. And to our amazement, he was willing to accept Jesus, and even expressed his desire to come to church. Deep down, I was really happy, and thankful that God has blessed us with this rewarding experience when we cast aside all our fears and doubts and simply obey Him. But yet I also sense his emptiness, and the need for a saviour. Thank God for this opportunity, He led us to Kumar with words of hope and salvation in Jesus.

Like what Reinhard Bonnke exclaimed as a young boy, "It (the power of the Holy Spirit) works! It really works!". Today, I too join him in this great declaration.

"It works! It really works!"

Peace.

Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum

If you desire peace, prepare for war. - Vegetius

It seems you will never ever be able to separate Dom from war. Sad that my interests lies not in those widely accepted by social norms, except for a few like-minded friends. I'm teachnically on a "war fast" now, to prove that war is not an idol in my life. Yeah, as weird and lame as it seems, war has always played a major part in my life. To deny that, I would be a liar.

Some of my friends are into literature. No doubt literature adds colour to their lives. Would you out it as obsession? Some are crazy about photography, now where are the accusers? People just don't get it. My interest in war goes beyond the tanks and the guns. It goes right into the heart of the matter. The very first act that evolved from the moment Cain murdered Abel; the land has been stained by blood.

I am a historian by nature, I see things based on the past, and how the actions of certain individuals can have such an impact on the masses thru the ages.

To many, Mesopotamia is just another "hard to read" word. But to historians, it is the cradle of civilization.

To many, Rome is just another city. To me, Rome is the power that has left it's legacy in our every day living, even in Literature!

I bet you didn't know that the reason why the hot air balloon was invented was so that the French army could scout out enemy positions for their artillery to strike at.

I'm pretty sure that many know nuts about the Crusades, and the impact it has on modern day relations between Christians and Muslims.

You just have no idea. Ignorance is never bliss.

You may judge me and say that I'm just ranting and misguided. But who defines "misguided ness"? Who defines a "normal" person? Do you judge me based on my interest and the things I spend time on?

It's sad that no one cares anything about the past, which is a good thing and a bad thing. I frown at how our education system produces "Intellectual Idiots" who base their success on a simple piece of paper. I do not claim to be smart, hey I'm sure someone who is reading this would be shaking his head in disbelief, putting up points to argue and rebut.

I admit it, I'm never good at writing.

So shoot me.

But I will hold true to the promise I made to my leaders. I shall refrain from talking abou war, especially at the dinner table.

Moving on to lighter, less dark topics.

I'm unwilling to hide this fact. I'm still trying to assimilate into the new cell. For almost 3 years, I have grown up in an all guys environment in cell. So it really felt weird to have members of the opposite gender listening to what I've got to say. I don't really have a social life outside of church, and the only resemblance of one is in the ARMY (another mainly male environment). And in this cell, things are much slower in this new cell (which up till now, I have totally no idea what exactly is it's name!) as compared to the "fast action" environment in MAD. So I guess it's gonna take time, a really long time.

Faces change, people change. New environment, new responsibilities, new problems.

It's not easy.

Especially with the battles that are raging in me.

And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. - Luke 14:27

2 Years.

180804.

This day marks 2 complete years of service in the Singapore Armed Forces. I enlisted on a bright sunny morning at about 0730am, surrounded by similarly worried youths who are about to embark on the next phrase of their Singaporean manhood.

I still remember clearly the only person who saw me off was Glen Ong. I was very touched by his simple gesture - no one saw me off, perhaps it was too early; perhaps everyone else were too lazy to pull themselves off their beds to see a friend off.

I will never forget the bus ride there, with my parents onboard. I will never forget the boat ride that seemed long and weary. I will never forget the sight the greeted me on the shores of Tekong.

I will never forget my last lunch as a civilian with them; Western. I will never forget the look on my mother's face as I was pulled away to join the enlistees, as my family members made their way home. I will never forget the cold blade of the razor shaver on my head, shedding away every remnant of my freedom. I will never forget my first night there, on the bed in the hot and humid room.

Memories.

I got another 2 months left before I ORD.

I'm sure I'll feel a sense of lost as they return me my pink IC. The picture on my IC is that of a little boy. That's not what I see in the mirror.

Army has taken many things away from me. Yet it has given me many things too. Like everything else, God uses circumstances and the seasons of our lives to mould and shape us. Thru the sleepless nights and the mindless drillings, a man can learn discipline, respect, and the will to overcome and conquer. Good Christian values, if guided properly, can be instilled in the person thru the hours of trench digging. Precision can be drummed into a man thru countless hours on the Parade Square under the hot sun.

Many things can be taught thru army. The simple comforts of a bed, missed dearly out in the jungles. A hot meal will be appreciated when you're chowing down cold, hard combat rations. a simple shelter makes you thankful when you cowering under your basha tent, cold and drenched. Army teaches you contentment, it teaches you to be thankful for the things you have. It's an experience that comes only once in a life time.

Many people want it to pass them by quickly, these 2 years.

But as for me, I'm thankful I lived every minute of my army life well, with pride and dignity.

Thank You Adonai.

I must kill Myself...

...Before Myself kills me.

The Truth About Blogging.

Someone in camp came across my blog, and made the comment that it was “boring and dull”, because God is always in the picture of my posts. All I did was said “there’s nothing better to post about; I am a Christian after all”. This led to a conversation where I brought God into his view.

Indeed, many people blog about their lives, what they do, how they feel about certain events so forth and so on. That’s okie. I read in a recent article about blogging that the Blog gives the common everyday person a voice that can be heard across the world; a leap forward into making Earth a so-called “Netopia” (I still don’t get what they exactly mean, but never mind.) Some said that the Blog was a tool for “egoistic” person to get their gratification, their every word screaming for attention.

My initial motive with the Blog was to use it as a mean to pass time during my uber-boring Final Year project back in 2003. It was useful as a tool to communicate with some of my project mates across the rooms, and all of us had a good laugh from all the hilarious posts we’d often peppered our blogs with about school, about our projects, about people.

Later on, I laid low for awhile when I entered the Army, but revived it in early 2005. I sort of wanted to use it as a mean to improve my command of the English Tongue, and to use it as a place to express myself with words (though sometimes words are often inadequate to express what I truly feel) I was prepared that many of my posts would seem at best weird; at worst offensive. And I’ve stepped on a few toes.

But one thing I cannot stop posting about is God. That’s the truth. Some post about love, but what greater love is there than the love of God? Some post about passion, but I know not a greater passion that God has in this Great Romance. God is constantly appearing on my posts, because God can be very much found in my life. It’s not a gimmick to get people to read my posts, or to make me sound “holy”. Sometimes it doesn’t really matter if no one reads what I post, what matter is that I’m able to talk about things honestly and with motives that are upright.

Having said and done, I’m really impressed with so of my friend’s posts. They are unabashed in talking and confronting the issues of life, brining God into the picture, telling other fellow Netizens about this great and awesome God that transcends even the digital world. I know of people who would just spend hours infront of their computers, blogs are a good opportunity to influence. (Anyway I’m against the idea of spending long hours infront of the computer. Obsessive behaviours get you killed.)

And whether you like it or not, the modern youth is blogger, though I must say that it’s just a generalization. Nevertheless, more and more youths are keeping blogs. That’s the youth culture, and one must not be ignorant of it. And I know of a few who though are adamant about it in the beginning, have embraced the blogging culture eventually.

So the next time you blog, do ask yourself “What am I really doing this for?” You don’t need to try to squeeze out something noble about it. It’s not wrong sharing your thoughts and lives with others around the world. =)

6th August.

"I have become death; the destroyer of worlds"
- Robert Oppenheimer, Director of the Manhattan Project.

"If I knew the full extent of the destructive power of the (atomic) bomb, I would have been a simple locksmith instead."
- Albert Einstein

6th August marks the day when human civilization entered the Nuclear Age. On that day, the first Atomic bomb, Little Boy, was dropped over the city of Hiroshima, Japan.

70,000 people were killed as a direct result of the blast, and a similar number were injured. A great number more would later die from the after-effects of radiation, generations of Japanese children born deformed.

This brings into view the question of morality in war, which many have debated since the beginning of history. Can you ever be justified for killing tens of thousands of civilians, so that tens of thousands of your soldiers might live? How can the magnitude of war be ever measured or limited?

It can't be.

That's why war is hell.

Remember 6th August, 1945.