Gramma OUTLAW – Held Hostage by Baby Skunkie

Heeeeeee heeeeeeee heeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I sorry mom and I can’t stop laffin; so its going to be very hard for us to type dis story. But dis story has to be told.

Heeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gonna try to tell da story I promise. Without laffter interruptions, not sure how well that is going to work though.

*SMILES*

Dad parents (Mom’s OUTLAWS) came to visit dis weekend from da other side of da mountains. Itz bout a 7 hour drive for dem when dey come to visit, so dey stay for couple of days before turning round and goin back home.

Dis time dey came to see der grandchildren (dad’s niece and nephews) all pway Soccer. Da girl is 8 yrs old, da older boy is 7, and da younger boy is 4. Dis is der first year playin soccer so it is real fun to watch. Mom and Dad always come home laffin from da games.

------- OH NO… I got off track again. Dis story about Gramma and Skunkie

So... Gramma and Grappa OUTLAW came to our house Friday afternoon and stayed until late evening dat night (dey come back Saturday and Sunday too – dey stay in a HOTEL just to sleep). When dey come all da humans hang out in da heated garage to visit instead of in da house. Der are always about 15 – 20 of dem cuz all dad’s bruvers & sisters come, pwus der spouses and all der kids. Dis way da house carpets are safe from spillage of treats, juice, etc.

Anyway back to story … Mom had fed Hilter (outside sister cat) when it was jus startin to get dark. Hilter always eats all her wet canned food, but only eats little bits of her dry food and saves some til later, unless the skunkies or raccoons come to share first. Den mom sometimes has to feed her dry food again.

Mom fed Hilter and da silly cat only ate part of her dinner; so der were leftovers. About dis time gramma had to use da baffroom in da house. Unfortunately she was not quick about it. Since she took her time by the time she want'd to come out da front door Baby Skunkie had showed up and was eatin da leftovers. Apparently gramma told Skunkie to go away, but Skunkie wouldn’t leave. Gramma even tried to go out da door, but she didn’t move fast enough; da skunkie went down 2 steps off da porch, but came right back when gramma didn’t move quickly to the steps like mom does.

Mom always talks nicely and sweet to Skunkie – but gramma was yelling at Skunkie. Iz really suprised Skunkie didn't squirt her. Gramma even yelled through the screen door for dad tinkin da other humans in da garage would hear her, but no one did.

MOL - I sat in da shadows and grinned and giggled to my kittyself.

Mom said dat Grappa OUTLAW asked where gramma went and his daughter told him potty, but no one thought to go check on gramma.

It was about 20 to 30 minutes later dat gramma finally came into da garage, yelling something about being held hostage by da SKUNK. She went on and on and on. Da more she went on the more everyone laffed at her. She didn't think her family was nice laffing at her, but gramma OUTLAW is never nice - so who cared. Mom and Dad both told her dat Skunkie wouldn’t hurt her or spray her, but she didn’t believe dem.

She told mom and dad Skunkies needed to be shot. She told grappa to get gun outta car and shoot dem. Mom got mad and told her to leave her Skunkies alone. Dey not hurt anyone or anyting. If she got sprayed it was her own fault becuz of not talking nicely to Skunkies.

Gramma has poop problems so she had to go to bathroom again not too long after da skunk episode. Dis time she brought grappa to stand guard on da porch. Of course, gramma husband (Grappa) plus all her children and grandchildren laffed. Mom and Dad almost peed dem selves dey laffed so hard. Mom and Dad couldn’t stop laffin all weekend. Dey were still laffin last night when dey went to bed. Dey were tink keeping the Baby Skunkies around wasn’t a bad idea after all. If skunkies stayed near, maybe outlaws wouldn’t come visit as often.

MOL

Being held hostage by a Skunk – who would ever believe dat story?

Dey teased her all weekend. Yet, yesterday when dey went to go home Dad finally asked her why she didn’t go through da house and use da back door? Heeee Heeee Heee; den everyone laffed even harder.

I wanted to send da story to CNN “Grandma Kidnapped by Skunk! – Den held Hostage!”

MOL MOL

Mean old Gramma OUTLAW. What goes around comes around. Right now Skunkies are my mom’s best friend.

MOL MOL

Get Me Tuna or You Get HairBall Stew!!

How do you remind Humans dat canned Tuna (in Water) is a necessity?

As a cat waitin for my Tuna fix I can tell you it can seem to take ages.

Mom must haved run out of Tuna last week. I have meeooowwed and meeooowwed every morning since. Mom and dad must be deaf cuz dey didn't even acknowledge me when Iz in da kitchen meeoowing my heart out.

I can tell when we have no Tuna. I can open da cabinet and there are no cans where da tuna is suppose to reside. If there were cans available I would knock them to da floor wit my big fat foot. Of course, I only do dat when mom and dad are at der works, so dey don't know it was me. Not sure how dey don't know dat cuz Iz da only critter in da house when dey are at work. I try tell mom it was her grandpa's ghost, cuz he loved Tuna. She just shakes her head at me.

She has tried to substitute Hilter's wet food for Tuna. Da other day she gave me some of that yucky stuff on my plate. I smelt it cautiously and den socked mom wit my big paw cuz it was not real tuna - you know the human kind. It was fake Tuna, you know da kind dey pass off to cats as real, not thinking dat da cats are smarter den dey sometimes look. And dey do know real Tuna from fake tuna. How Hilter can eat dat stuff is beyond me. But then again Hilter will eat anything mom puts on her plate.

Huffffff, grrrrrr, hsssss Still no tuna this weekend. I will eat my dry food, cuz it is very good, but I really want Tuna. meooowwww meeooow meeoooowwww

Yesterday mom came home from work with a whole bag full of Tuna cans, she sat the bags on the countertop, but did not offer me any. I really expected to be served immediately.

Sooo mom here's to you.

Cough Cough Hack Hack HairBall one.

Run Run Run Hack Hack Hack HairBall two.

Run Run Cough Cough Jump up onto dinner table. Cough Cough Hack Hack. HairBall Three.

Mom runs to open Tuna can. She knows that she has waited tooo long, and the hairballs have collected in my belly. So Mom... You are Too late!!! Now you have to deal with the consequences. HairBall cleanup.

Now it's mom's turn to hack hack gag gag. Mom hacks and gags until she is almost blue. MOL MOL

*whispers* serves her right!

Maybe next time she will remember to bring home Tuna immediately when we run out, or even better yet. Never run out at all.

Baby Skunks

Gotta Wuv Dem

This is some of my outside wildlife family that hang out on the front porch. These are only the babies, mom hangs out somewhere else until the babies are done eating. Then she comes and eats the leftovers; if there are any.

Huey

Mom came home yesterday talking about work.

They were having a safety day at work and giving away products. They even gave them bags for the products. Then there was the story of the K-9 doggie named Huey.

Apparently mom and her co-worker had to stop and pet Huey after asking permission to do so. I guess he is only 2 years old, so he is like a puppy in their eyes. Mom and Tina were both caring product bags, and mom was carrying a fudgecycle, a nice chocolately fudgecycle. Yummy she didn’t even think to bring it home to share.

So Huey had the nerve to put his head in Tina’s product bag, and decided he needed the contents more than Tina did. Then bored with Tina’s stuff, Huey the K-9 doggie decided to try to take my mom’s fudgecycle away from her. I am assuming that Huey is a chocolate sniffing dog.

Mom said she didn’t give Huey her fudgecycle but he sure wanted it. Tina offered Huey the Frisbee that she had gotten, but apparently it was not time for Huey to play. He was at work to do work. I think Huey was there to steal my mom’s heart. Cuz she sure smiled as she talked about him.

Grrr Hssss - If they are bringing doggies to mom’s work to steal mom’s heart dey can leave those dang doggies at home.

I am sure Tina’s anipals aren’t really happy with her either. Coming home with strange doggie smell.

Meowwwooooffff

Blog Block

I have had a severe case of Blog Block. I cannot think of anything to say somedaze.

You think with all the anipals that come to visit me I would have lots of stories. I admit there are quite a few cute stories, but for some reason I am having a hard time getting them into words.

I am finding myself just wanting to say Meow meow meow.

*Purr Purr Purr* - oh I keep forgetting Pixie-bobs don't purr. Well at least I don't. I think I do in my head, I want to in my head. The purr mechanism just don't work for me. So I just Meow and Hssss.

Blog Block... Hmmm what is there to say.

One Of Those Days

Wildlife on the Front Porch

Weekends usually entertain me, but this weekend the wildlife in the hood decided to surprise me.

It started Saturday morning around 5:30 a.m.

Dad was having his morning coffee, mom was still in bed sleeping and I was laying in the morning sun by the front door looking out the window.

All of a sudden here comes Baby the Raccoon, but as I looked closer Baby was bringing babies with her. Three baby raccoons. Do you know that they hop like bunnies and play like puppies and kitties? They were jumping and playing and ruff housing. They are sooo cute.

I started knocking on the window. Tap, Tap, Tap with my big paws.

I went and told Dad – Meow, Meow, Meow

Look, look, look I have new baby friends.

Dad came to the window laughing and asked me “Should we wake up mom? No, we better let her sleep, today is going to be a long, hot day with the car show.”

So Dad and I sat for almost an hour watching Baby and her kits. They ate Hilters leftover cat food, took baths in Hilter’s water dish then moved to Haley’s water bucket and almost fell in it. It was so much fun.

I kept pawing at the windows, I wanted Dad to let me out so I could play too.

Then they left. Hopping, skipping, rolling, laughing little raccoon babies.

“Come back, Come back… Mom needs to take pictures and she is still sleeping, you have to wait until she gets up to leave.”

They were gone.

The rest of the morning and afternoon was very boring, no mom and dad, no entertainment. Purrs Naps.

Then, that night when mom and dad came home the wildlife entertainment continued.

It was dark outside and very late. Dad was with one of his buddies out in the garage/shop. Mom had come in for the evening and was looking for a snack or two to nibble on. I offered her Nippers, but she said no, we couldn’t eat Nippers.

Hilter was meowing at the front door, so mom took her some kitty food. I guess she decided to give her extra in case Baby and her babies came for a treat too.

It was nice and quiet, when all of a sudden I got company at the front door. The front door was open, but luckily the screen door was latched and I haven’t quite got the muscle to open it yet, cuz I would have been out that door in a second.

My skunk came back, my skunk came back, I haven’t seen my skunk friend in weeks. Here skunkie, come closer skunkie I want to see you and your beautiful fluffy tail.

Tap, Tap, Tap on the screen door; let me out I want to play with Skunkie.

Mom came to see what the ruckus was about. She stood there almost like a statue, afraid to move. I was still tapping on the screen door. She finally slowly moved away and shut the actual front door.

No No No, Meow Meow Meow, Hss at mom – I want to play with Skunkie. I was throwing what mom calls my Winston kitty fits.

She got on the phone and called Dad in the garage and told him about Skunkie; Dad told her to sheww Skunkie away. I thought Mom was going to reach threw the phone and strangle dad. She asked him if he wanted to sleep with skunk smell all night. He said “no”, but he didn’t want Skunkie on the porch.

Do skunks smell bad? I want to know.

She went back to the front door and now here is Skunkie and Baby the Raccoon both on the front porch. Baby must have left her kits at home because they weren’t there. All I could think of though is “Oh my, this isn’t going to be pretty.” But they were sharing Hilter’s leftovers out of the food dish. I didn’t know Raccoons and Skunks got along. What an interesting site.

But where is Hilter, my wonderful outside sister cat? Hilter are you o.k.? Oh there you are, Hilter. In front of the garage door.

Hilter what are you doing? Hilter? Hilter has a mouse. She is throwing it way high in the air and catching it, dropping it, chasing it, catching it, and throwing into the air again. I hear her chirping at it. Meeeoooowwww Meeooow Meeooowww

Hilter does your mousie have a name? Hey Hilter do you see Skunkie and Baby? They are on the porch. Hilter ignores them, she is more interested in her mouse.

All this activity and I am locked inside with mom. Mom still can’t speak, she can’t move, she is absolutely amazed that all of this is going on at the same time. She is so amazed that she forgot to go get the camera and take pictures.

How can I have proof of this without pictures? I just don’t know what to do about her.

I don’t know how long this went on. It seemed like a long time. It was so fun to see all the anipals getting along, but eventually they left.

The mouse was dead, Hilter was hungry again; asking for more food since Skunkie and Baby ate everything that was left to eat.

Then dad called to see if they could come out of the garage cuz neighbor Brett wanted to go home and dad wanted to come in and see if mom had left any treats for him.

The excitement was done for the evening and it was time for me to have a nap and dream about tomorrow.

How to Respond to the Demands of a Cat

I have been having issues with my Human Dad.

He used to sit on the sofa and I would lay along side him when I wanted my belly rubbed. Now that it has been sooo hot out he thinks he needs to lay on the floor in front of the air blower machine (Fan I guess its called) to watch the TV.

I hate that air blower machine thing, it scares me and annoys me all at once. It blows my fur outta place, it blows my ears, and worse of all it blows my tail feathers (well I guess I don’t have feathers – that's Nippers my duckie that has the feathers on his tail). But my tail is almost short enough to be a duck tail.

I have finally gotten enough courage to lay in front Dad so I can get a belly rub or it won’t happen at all. But the Belly Rubs are different laying on the floor than they were when I was laying next to him on the couch. Maybe its because he is laying down and not sitting up. I just don’t know. Not enough torque on the belly muscles. I try to use mechanics words so he will understand. He gives his cars more belly rubs than he gives me.

The process of getting to the position to receive a belly rub often seems long and drawn out. I have to lay down, get up go in a circle, re-adjust my lay down spot, lay down again, this time more on my back and less on my side. Last night I had to re-adjust at least three times if not more. I would meow at dad during each rotation, and he would ask "Ain't I doing it right?" I would MEOW - NOOOO, and try again. I finally gave up gave him a even louder MEOW and walked away with my tail in the air. I had had it.

I really want to give the job back to mom.

I don’t know what mom finds so demanding, but she hasn’t been setting down very often lately so she is no help at the Belly Rubs, Nose Rubs and the gentle Tail Pulls that I absolutely adore. I like her’s the best anyway so trying to train Dad is a major kitty headache.

Oh then there is the issue of the Air Conditioner that has been placed in their sleeping area. That room is nice and cool. The room is very comfortable for sleeping, but the door has to remain shut for the room to stay cold.

I don’t know if I have told you this before, but I HATE closed doors. They let me in and I want out. They let me out and I want in. Why can’t they just leave the door open like they do the rest of the year. Of course, if I'm on the outside of the door I have the talent to open the door on most occasions, however last night I asked to go out the door and they blocked the door on the inside so I couldn’t get back in. I MEOW and MEOW to no avail. They purposefully ignored my demands.

That is NOT how Humans are suppose to Respond to the Demands of a Cat. If a cat MEOWs humans should immediately respond.

My opinion Humans need more training with their cats and less time away from the home at that place they call work.

Thank is my thought for the day. *Tail Up In The Air*

"Haley" The Neighbor Cat – The Intruder

Haley, what can a cat say bout Haley??

Haley iz:
Orange
Fluffy
alwayz thirsty
alwayz hungry
alwayz lookin for attention

Haley luvs da raccoons
She iz alwayz hungry (oh I already said dat)
Now Haley is an intruder.

Mom haz alwayz been nice to Haley. If Haley sits at da front door and looks longingly into mom’s eyes, Mom always gives in and feeds her. Mom says Haley iz losing weight, mom’s afraid tat Haley’s humans aren’t feeding her.

Since mom luvs all living creatures, except maybe snakes – mom will run at da site of a snake. Mom will feed whatever comes to da door. Except humans, they can fend for themselves she says.

Haley hasn’t learned how to knock on da door like da raccoons do.

So last night…. Haley was hungry and causing a ruckus outside da front door. Mom could hear her and went and got her food. As mom was trying to get out da door to feed Haley, Haley decided to make my inside home hers. What da heck?

What is this big hug orange cat doing in my house? She walked in like she owned the place. Like she had been in the house before.

Now Haley is only 3 years old and we have only been in da house 3 years. As far as I know she has never been in da house, unless mom snuck her in. But I don’t tink so. She would have left orange fur and orange kitty smell.

I had to rub for over an hour on da spot she laid to get her smell off my carpet. Meeooowwww

I like her to visit with da screen door in-between us, I don’t need her to come in and get up-close and personal. She wanted to cuddle. Oh girl kitty germs.

Mom picked her up and took her back outside to her food dish. She apparently wasn’t dat hungry cuz she went directly to her water bucket and proceeded to try to drink da bucket dry.

No Intruders in my house, as long as I am da King.

NO NO NO .... No Intruders in my house!!!

Woof Wednesday

I am feeling very blah today. Just want to hang out, hang upside down, or hang over the edge.

A friend sent me this picture and I thought I'd share.