Dances! When I was younger, going to a stake dance was fun and entertaining. Girls would cluster together, in the middle of the dance floor, and sway their bodies to the fast beat of the music. Brave young boys, who risked rejection, would venture out to ask one of us girls to dance when a slow song was played--slow songs that didn't occur often. The dancing that took place during that slow song was what I call the "deacon shuffle." Two little kids stepping sideways and in a slow circle. Not too glamorous but exciting just the same.
Well, those good old days have ended. Dancing at a singles dance 31+ is very different. Slow songs are constant, "real" dancing is a must (waltz, cha cha, swing, etc.--dance lessons are provided an hour before every dance), no songs are allowed to be played that have base or beat that is louder than the melody ("church policy"), and the older the song the better.
How do I know this, well last night, due to my calling, I was asked to help out with a regional dance. I had been to a regional dance before and was scared away by the gentlemen that were decades older than me and the aged music that was being played....but there was no getting out of attending this dance. So, I decided to go with the attitude of "I am here to serve and help out."
When I arrived, I was quickly "instructed" on what was required. Our stake was in charge of providing 3 couples (must be married couples) and 2 other people (meaning another couple or 2 singles). For whatever reason, I was the only single that showed to help out. I was quickly assigned "kitchen duty," since the other duties required a mate (thank goodness, I didn't want to man the money table and have to request anyone who might be immodestly dressed to go home and change....and definitely not the hall and parking lot monitoring). This turned out to be quite entertaining. I helped spread garlic butter on bread (why anyone would serve garlic bread at a dance is beyond me), cut fruit and serve the water and desserts. They also had meatballs and veggies. A huge spread!
Once the food was placed on the table, I had a moment to breath. The kitchen couple suggested that I go out and enjoy the dance. I proceeded with such caution that it took me twice as long as it should have. I entered the gym and was shocked at how many people were there! It was packed! I was probably the youngest person there; by many years--luckily, by the end of the night I think--by how they looked---there were about 5 of us that looked in our 30s.
When entering the gym, I was immediately asked to dance by a man that could have been my grandfather. As he walked me to the dance floor, he commented, "even though I am old enough to be your grandfather I still will dance with you." He was so cute. His hands were shaking--not out of nerves but due to age.
He turned out to be quite a good dancer, and it was fun to waltz around the dance floor with him (I am a sucker for a good dance). Little did I know that wasn't the smartest thing to do.....why, because by being polite and not refusing the elderly man gave courage for all the others! Remember, I have only been to one other regional dance, so I wasn't aware that older singles dances rarely play fast paced music. It was one slow song (or slower song) right after another....as one man said, "Who wants to waste time with fast songs. We need to get close and talk to see if things could work out."
So, after several more dances with men who could be my father or grandfather, I managed to politely get off the dance floor and retreat to the kitchen to see if they needed any more of my assistance. Of course they quickly scooted me back out onto the dance floor. So to save you the trouble of reading every detail, I will give you some great highlights:
Top 10 Comments I received:"Did you wear braces?
I thought so because no one could have such a perfect smile as you have...it definitely looks like teeth that have had braces."
"You are a great dancer, you can really move your hips."--while stepping back and staring at my body!
"I am old enough to be your dad, so how old are you?"
"I am a physical trainer and I already know how old you are, how tall you are, and your weight."
"You don't have any kids, you look like you are someone who should have kids."
"How many times have you been divorced."
"You were a cheerleader, I can tell because you are so happy and cheerful."
"It's good you are dancing with me because there are a lot of creeps at this dance."
"You are very popular tonight, are you interested in any of the other men you have danced with?"
"You teach school, is that something you aspired to do or is that something you have had to do?"....meaning because I am single and have to support myself.
Best comments from the married couples (not all said directly to me):"There are some pretty scary people here."
"I can't believe some of the problems that are coming up, my husband has had to call his brother who is an attorney..." Never did get to the bottom of that.
"I feel sorry for some of these people."
"If you have a problem again (I had a man who was bothering me) I will make sure he is asked to leave."
"I understand why some of these men are not married."
"I just found out that a man shot himself in the parking lot at last weeks dance. Apparently, he had just lost his wife and after attending a dance thought it would be better to end his life."
Best incidents:Man enters kitchen and says, "So this is where you are hiding." Dang right it is ;-)
Man asks me to dance. It is a country song so we proceed to "swing." He decides that it would be cool to "dip" me. Well, he does so when I am completely unaware that it was coming (I have slipped a disk out in my neck and have not slept well all week), my back screams out in pain. I jokingly tell him, "Really you can't do that without letting me know." To which he does it to me again. This time I say, "Ok, I am done with that move, thank you very much." Well, he wasn't done with that move, so right at the end of the song he dips me one more time. Luckily, a 6 foot 8 inches (I asked him how tall he was) walks right up to me, grabs my hand, and walks me off the dance floor. When we get to the edge of the gym he says, "What was he thinking, couldn't he tell you didn't want to do that and that you were in pain?!?" At least someone was paying attention.
While dancing the cha cha with a man, another man walks by and grabs my stomach!
A man, I was dancing with, decides to spin me around....too bad he did it with such force that I am sent 10 feet away from him!
The man I am dancing with spins me into him and kisses me on the check. He later passes me in the hall (as I am trying to escape to the kitchen) and grabs me and plants another wet kiss on my check...too bad he is in his 60s and I am not sure what is the polite way of saying, "LAY OFF OLD MAN!!!!"
Conclusion:So when I came home I decided it was a successful evening for me. Why, you might ask. Well, I was able to dance all night ("real" dancing), I got a great workout, I was able to ask a gentlemen to dance (who I don't think has ever danced with anyone before), I was able to laugh at myself, I have great stories to tell, I met some great women who are fabulous individuals, I was able to sing and dance to childhood songs: "I Think We're Alone Now," "Thriller" and "Footloose." I recognized Neil Diamond being sung in my ear by my partner (thanks mom and dad for the exposure---it helped me at the dance), and I left extremely content with my life! Funny how life works out!
I might even venture out again to another regional dance---we'll see!!!
