From cream to butter in 9 minutes flat(almost)

You know in "Little House in the Big Woods" where Laura is telling about the days of the week? She says that one day is for washing, one for ironing, etc. and one day(one WHOLE day) was for making butter. Seriously, how did Ma Ingalls do it? I don't have an old fashioned butter churn to make butter the Ma Ingalls way but I DO have a nifty, handy dandy Bosch mixer that makes my butter SO quickly and easily(among many other things it is useful for).

Look at all my yummy cream! Gretel's cream is, seriously, SO thick. It looks like thickened paint or paste and has to be scooped and scraped off the glass jars. It clings to the ladle like Velcro. Delicious!

Once I ladled all the cream off the last 3 days or so milk I had about a 1/2 gallon to use for butter. Some of that cream went to making homemade vanilla ice cream this week so we had a little less this go around.

It takes me the Bosch all of 9 minutes to go from cold cream to golden butter. When I let the cream sit out and get to room temperature it only takes 5 minutes! No day long butter churning event for me! This is a good thing as I have no idea where I would be able to fit in everything else that has to be done. How'd you do it Ma?

The butter has broken and is ready to be strained from the buttermilk and then washed, dried and packaged.

Almost 4 cups of butter from 1/2 gallon of cream.

This yummy butter is packaged and ready to be frozen and then travel 12 hours south for a family vacation with my parents, brothers and their families. I was told to provide the butter and eggs for the week and I was happy to oblige. No clue how we're going to fit it all in our car though...

Ice Cream!

Oh, it's ice cream time! Summer is almost here, the weather is warming up and I have gallons upon gallons of milk and cream in my fridge. Even if you don't have copious amounts of milk, you can still make some home made ice cream that will delight your children and make you think about buying a milk cow too. If you don't have an ice cream maker, check out your thrift store or go buy a cheap one from the store. It'll be fun.

Raise your hand if you adore chocolate! Stand up and shout if chocolate makes you happy! For all you wonderful women, I have a recipe to share for Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream that is creamy, chocolaty and just down right delicious. Yes, it may not quite hold up to your standards if you are used to eating artificially flavored, chemically laden ice cream but it will delight your tongue and taste oh so good. More than anything, I love that I know EXACTLY what is in it and that it's one more thing I can allow my kids to have without worrying about all the "extras".

Here's the recipe that I came up with. You can also skip the cocoa powder and replace it with mini chocolate chips(or do both!). I haven't tried this, but I'm sure it would be amazing.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream

2 C. whole milk
2 C. whipping cream(or regular cream if your using your own milk)
1/2 C- 3/4 C. natural peanut butter( you can do chunky or smooth, I used chunky because that's what I had). Do you really love peanut butter? Go for the 3/4 C. All the rest of you, stick with 1/2 C
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 C. sugar(you can do 1 C. if you want to cut down on the sugar but, duh, it won't be as sweet)
1 TBS. Cocoa powder. You can add more if you want it more chocolaty but I found this was a good amount to start with.

Put all ingredients in a bowl and mix it well(I use a beater to get it all incorporated). Make sure you mix well so that the sugar is dissolved.
Pour mix into your ice cream maker, using your machine's instructions to finish the job. Scoop out and freeze for an hour if it is not hard enough. Enjoy the yumminess and try to share with your children too.

The "Stash"

No, I'm not talking about my husband's amazing mustache. I could be talking about the stash of milk I have going on in my fridge down in my garage(which is insanely awesome) or my crazy large stash of kids clothes bins taking up tons of space in my garage but, I'm not.

The "Stash" I am talking about is this one. 25 eggs found today by Malakai, half of them I had to throw out because they were bad. I'm thanking the Lord that Kai found them before one of them burst and we had THAT to deal with. Last week Judah stumbled upon a small grouping of 8(which I HAD called the "Stash" at that time but, comparatively, it can no longer be considered thus) which I was grateful to have found and then, promptly, the hens stopped laying there. I knew there was another stash going, as I had only been getting about 15 eggs out of 21 hens but didn't think it was this bad!

I am really hoping the girls still consider this a prime spot to lay so that we'll know where to look and not have to go on some serious egg hunts. Overall, I am willing to deal with unknown egg laying places in exchange for the hens keeping the cow manure piles at bay(because that means I don't have to shovel poop!) Just so those of you who get eggs from us know, you will never get any of these eggs just because I can't be certain of the freshness(even though I do check them with the "floating" method). I do, however, cook them up and feed them to my kids;)

Farm Happenings Part 2

If you didn't catch what was happening last time at "Farm Happenings", Gretel had her sweet little baby girl, we are both learning the milking routine and busy as can be. When Jonah gets home we have SO much going on that Henry got a free pass from going in the stew pot just because we didn't have the time. This did not stop him from continuing to attack the kids while they were out playing but, thankfully, my kids got really tough and used their feet for a good purpose to show that rooster who was boss. Also, thankfully, I didn't get attacked.

Life went on as normal when Jonah went back to work and my good friend, Michelle was up for a visit with her sweet little girl. Gretel began kicking when I put on the milking machine and I have a few nice bruises to show for it but it's worth it for her yummy milk and the thick, gelatinous cream she is giving!

On Monday, Alana came running in to tell me that Georgie was hurt and there was a lot of blood. Oh my, I was not prepared for what was waiting for me outside. Georgie had a cut on her hip bone that had blood spurting out of it 4 inches. I assumed she, somehow, cut an artery and something needed to be done immediately. Something about blood spraying everywhere seems to put me in a panicky oh-my-word-our-calf-is-going-to-die mode. She does not let me get close to her unless she is laying down and she was up, scared and running. I'm running after her trying to get a better look at the wound. Crazy woman here? Yes, sir.

After much chasing, Sarah and I were able to squeeze her between a fence and a gate and I began holding direct pressure on her wound while she bucked and turned and did everything in her power to get out of there. Five week old calves are surprisingly strong. Keeping them contained is not as easy at you would think it is. Being in a two foot by 5 foot space with a bucking calf isn't as fun as it sounds. Really, its not.

This is the list of things that follow as it seems the quickest and easiest way to give the details:

- I scream at the big boys to get me the house phone and my cell and yell at Sarah that she had better not let that gate open so the calf runs out. I threaten her within an inch of her life.
- I fight with a scared, hurt calf to hold pressure on a spurting, gushing wound.
-There is blood everywhere.
- Once I have the phones I call Jonah and ask him what to do. Of course, hold pressure on the wound and "have you called the vet?"
- Finagle finding the vets number in my cell then dialing it on our home phone(because we don't have good reception) with one hand. Oh, and that hand is also covered in blood. You should have seen my phone later that night.
- Think that we may be able to fix this without incurring a $300+ vet bill, if we can just stop the bleeding so I can really see. Jonah finds a blood clotting solution at the feed store nearest our house(40 minutes away).
- Have Malakai go through the cow pen to get Michelle for me so I can figure out how to get the solution while still holding pressure.
- Malakai comes running back toward me saying the rooster attacked him two times while he tried to get to the gate(I didn't see because the barn was in the way). As he's telling me this Henry comes at him again and Kai backs right into the electric fence! My poor, poor baby. He tried so hard to be strong. All I wanted to do was kick that stupid rooster to the moon but, I couldn't. I was holding pressure.
- Michelle and I decide to send Alana with her to show her where the feed store is and pray that she actually knows.
- Sarah goes inside to watch the 2 little one's.
- The big boy's are charged to hold the gate.
- Georgie decides to lay down so I sit next to her in the dirt.
- I realize my jeans(good one's too) are covered in blood. My hands are sticky and crusty. It is hot and I know I'm already getting sunburned. Nerves and exhaustion take over and I'm shaky but glad that I had a place to sit. Yes, I know I'm a bit of a wuss.
- Georgie falls asleep and I carefully check her wound. The bleeding has stopped(it has been 1 1/2 hours by now) and the wound is not "stitchable". I have no idea what she did or what caused it but it looked like she completely shaved open her hip bone.
- I sit for the next hour and wait for Michelle to return with the solution.
- We put it on and let Georgie out.
- She is as good as new and fine today.
-Crisis averted. Not looking forward to the next one.

Today, Jonah came home.
Tonight, Henry is no longer with us.
The kids got an amazing poultry anatomy lesson. Hey, 2 in a week(well, the other was a bovine lesson)! This home schooling thing is fun!
We are all happy that we don't have to look behind us when we walk outside or carry a big stick.

This farming thing is not all it's cracked up to be sometimes. Honestly.

But it sure is fun, most of the time.

Farm happenings Part 1

***Possible graphic photos and offensive cow anatomy talk(open to interpretation)***

Jonah got held on last Wednesday at work. Wednesday night I went out to put Gretel in her stanchion to eat, feed the other cows, fill their water tanks, etc., just like normal. This time, however, Gretel was acting very uncomfortable, lifting her tail, swaying in her stanchion and, ahem, omitting lots of gas. I thought, perhaps, she was constipated. She ate with gusto(she is a very greedy, piggy bovine) and I soon let her out again to go rummage through Charlotte's food like she always does.

Ten minutes later I looked out the window and didn't see her so I thought I should go check on her to make sure she was OK. I had texted Jonah to say that she may be in early labor(just because she wasn't acting completely normal and "why does this always happen when you're at work!"

As I come around the barn:


SHOCK, AMAZEMENT, AWE! This is what I see.

Do you see the hooves sticking out? That was the LAST thing I was prepared to see.

I ran the fastest I have run since, uhm, high school? up to the house to yell at the kids to come quickly! It was raining and cold but they were so obedient that they came out in sandals and tank tops. We all stood about 10 feet away, under the safety of a live oak tree, and watched our new calf come into this world. As Justus said, "That was just amazing!"

If you look very carefully at the above picture you can see the calf's tongue(it's sort of gray in color) and the calf's nose.

Once the nose was out, the body came out VERY fast. The umbilical cord snaps at a certain point in the birthing process and the calf needs to get out quick to get the oxygen it needs.

At first, the calf looked completely dead but then it took a big gasp and started trying to stand up! SHE was nursing and walking around within 10 minutes of being born. We named her Fraulein.

The next morning Gretel and I began the adventure of milking her for the first time and it has been going great!