Christmas was great

Too many presents and too much food and I am exhausted. We had a full 2 weeks of Christmas and today is the last of it with Jonah's family coming over. I am tired and just want to sit at home with Jonah and the kids without having to see anyone else. I am a home body and don't do well with to many people for days at a time and too much to do. So after today I am going to clean up the house, detail it from the mess Christmas made and then sit back and relax before school starts again and I start getting ready for the boys to come home. Almost one month down, it went pretty fast with the holiday's but we are told we still have about 5 months to go. Praying it goes by much quicker and they are home by early April!

A letter from Randall

We got another letter from my Mother of Love son Randall in Liberia today. Actually we got 3, one for me, one for Jonah and one for Sarah. He also made the 3 of us BEAUTIFUL necklaces with bracelets to match for Sarah and I. I almost cried when I opened them. :happytears: For a child that has NOTHING to buy the beads and make them himself, just makes me so proud of him. I am trying so very hard to find this amazing boy a family to call his own. If you know anyone please tell them about Randall!


Dear Mom, How are you? I hope you are fine. I am fine and so much happy for the package you send for me. I love all of those things you send me and I am so thankful to God for you, making you a great help to me. Mom I will be so much happy to meet you in person, I am praying that all will go well with you all to be able to get in Liberia savely in the month of February.(sadly I don't think we will get to go then :( ) I can't wait to meet you too! Thanks so much fro your prayers, indeed prayer changes things. I am glad that you received my letter, I hope you recieve this one. I am in grade 8, in this class we have 10 subjects and these subjects are, science, Bible, History, this is all about the nation how it was founded, populations, size and so many things. We have maths, PE, Geography, Civics, English Literature and French. (I was very surprised to hear this!) We learn some things in French like greeting people. It is somehow funny. We goes to school 5 days in a week and we rest Saturday and sunday we go to church to worship our creator, the one who created us who have for us everlasting love. He is call the Messiah, He is Jesus Christ. I am praying very hard that God will help you as you talk to people about me and that God will help me with the right family to take me as their son. Time is getting near to where I can not be adopted to US. Forever I will remember you, never will I forget you Mom. I really love the letter you wrote me, I feel happy when ever I read them. Please keep telling people about me; don't give up God is with you surely and He will lead you through when things sames difficult He is there with you. I love God because He first love me. I want you to pray for me to become a powerful man of God, I want to be part of the Lord's kingdom.
It is the dry season in Liberia and the sun gets very hpt and at the evening it decreases it's hotness. Some times it rains but not too much. I don't have my own Bible (we are going to bring him one), but ask my friends often for their Bible and I read from it. I love reading from the Bible, it is the most important book in the world! My favorite verse in the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3:1 it says Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses. My favorite things to do are to play basketball, play soccer, and I love listening to gospel music. I sometimes ask my friends for their FMAM radio to listening to some Liberian gospel music on Sunday and they can do it, and I can return it when they need it. We are 6 in one room with six bunk beds up and down stairs (I think he means top and bottom bunks). The 6 person are, Ezekiel, Matthew, Luogon my best friend, Mayango, Saywala and I. Mayango and Saywala are twins and they will be adopted soon. We are 46 boys at Shepherd's Village. When I get up from sleep I pray, take bath, put on my uniform for school and go to school, after school come home 1:00, eat (this is their only meal of the day), take a nap, after nap study, and go out on the field by the village to play, after that come in, take bath, read Bible, pray and go to bed for the next day. I love you and can't wait to see you soon. May God bless you greatly and may He watch over you.
From you Son, Randall
I love you Mom!!

Mixed emotions

First, I will say Merry Christmas to you all! My emotions are all over the place today. At church we had a special family service where the older kids (3 and up) got to stay in, sing in front and watch/listen to a special message. It was great. But as I was standing there worshiping my heart fell, as for the first time, I realized that I have 2 other boys that should have been there with me. Judah should have been in the nursery learning about baby Jesus and Isaiah should have been up in his Daddy's arms while we sang the songs (I was holding Alana). It made me SO sad! I was so caught up in the hope of getting our referral before Christmas(it was still a GREAT present) that I hadn't thought about the fact that our boys will be spending their Christmas without their new Mommy and Daddy thousands of miles away without anyone to make the day special for them. It is just so bittersweet for me. I hate the thought of Judah having his first Christmas without me. I hate that Isaiah is still so sad and grieving over his first Mama and doesn't really understand what is going on and that I am not there to comfort him. At least I know that we will all be together next Christmas! What fun that will be!

A Christmas story in Liberian English

This is a Christmas story in Liberian English and I thought I was fitting this year to post it. It was received in 1967 from ELWA. Merry Christmas to you all!

Every Man Heart Lay Down"

Long time past - before your father live - before his father live
Before his father's father live - long time past
Before them big tree live - before them big tree's father live
That time God live.

And God look on the world - that He done make
And Him heart no lay down.
And He walk about in the town to see the people.
And He sit down in the palaver house to know the people.
And He sorry too much.
And God say "The people no hear My Word.
The people no walk My way. Nev mind.
All I can do is make a new country - and make new people."
And this time God's one small boy - Him small child
Hear God's Word, And the child grieve for people and for His Pa.
So he go for God's face and make talk for His Pa.
"Pa, I come for beg you," so He say,
"I come for beg you; Don't make the new world.
Don't lose the people what you done care for. I beg you.
Make it I go, I talk to people. I walk with people. Bye-m-bye
They savvy the way."

And the child go down softly softly and hold God's foot. (i.e. begged Him)
So God look on Him small boy. And Him heart be very soft. And God say,
Left me now, but hear me good; If you go you must be born like a man
You must live like a man - and you must have hurt and have hunger.
And hear me good; men will hate you and they will flog you, and
Bye-m-bye they will kill you, and I no going put my hand there." (i.e. interfere)
And the Child say, "I agree."
And bye-m-bye God call Mary to be Ma for the child.
Now Mary be new wife for Joseph and Joseph ain't touch Mary self.
So first time Joseph vex. But God say, 'Nev min', Joseph; this be God palaver.
And Joseph heart lay down.

And God see one king who try for do good for all him people.
"Ahah, now I send my Son for be new king."
And God send star to call the king.
And in a far country, God hear a wise man call his name.
And God say to the wise man, "I send my Son to be new wise man;
Go now with the star." And the star call. And the wise men follow.

And by the waterside - men lay down to take rest.
And they hear fine music in the sky like all the stars make song,
And they fear. And all the dark make bright like day.
And the water shine like fire. And no man can savvy.
And they hearts turn over. But God's angel come,
And God's angel say, "Make glad, all people,God's child be born in Bethlehem."
And the star come low and stop. But when they go for mansion house
The star no be there. And when they go for big man's house,
The star no be there. And bye-m-bye when they go for hotel,
The star no be there gain - "Ahah, the star be by the small house
Where cattle sleep! " And it was so.

And they found Joseph and Mary and the small child fold up in country cloth.
And the king bring gold for gift
And the wise man bring fine oil
And the country people bring new rice.
And they look on the God child
And every man heart lay down.

And one more to show his "pretty" braids 

My smiley boy! Judah Dec. 2006 

Isaiah Dec 2006 

An early Christmas present

I got another e-mail today from Melodie with pictures of the boys and an update on them. We got one of Judah with the biggest smile in which you can see his first tooth with another one trying hard to push through. What a blessing that was to see him so happy AND to see something that I would have missed. He is now up to a whole 15 pounds! Praise the Lord that he is gaining weight so well.They braided his hair and he looks like a little girl. I don't mind though because it is easier for the foster family and that means they won't cut his hair off. Now Isaiah is a different story. He has NO hair at all. I'm not sure if it is because he is malnourished and it doesn't grow well or they have shaved it off entirely. He has yet to grow into his big ole head, we had the same problem with Alana :) His picture is pathetic really, he just looks SO sad. Melodie said that he still has not opened up at all and it makes me all the more anxious to go and get them. Also, Isaiah is only the size of a healthy 18 month old they said. Remember that he is 2 months older than Alana who is 3 1/2. I do know that because of the malnutrition that most of the orphans come with they are smaller but catch up SUPER quick once they come home. Could you do us a favor and pray for little Isaiah, that God's hand would be on him and comfort him completely and that he will bond quickly to us when the time comes to bring him home. I think that is our biggest concern with this adoption is making sure that Isaiah bonds well and correctly to BOTH Jonah and I.
Thank you all so much for your prayers. You have no idea how much they mean to us!

Christmas cards

I am late with Christmas cards this year. I had planned to be as I wanted to include our new son and wait for our referral. Well, we found out about our 2 new boys Dec. 1 and time just kinda slipped away from me. So everyone will get their cards saying Merry Christmas after they celebrate it. Is that bad? Not sure, but there is no way I can get them out before as I haven't even gotten the kids' pictures yet, or printed the letter, or printed out the address list... Guess I better get my hiney in order! Sorry you are all gonna get late Christmas cards but at least I warned you ahead of time :)

Our first Christmas of the year

We went to the in-laws this weekend to celebrate Christmas and had such a nice time. The best part, IT SNOWED! And on Christmas morning to beat! (well, what we celebrated it as anyways). The kids ran around outside in the snow in bare feet with daddy sliding on the deck. Fun to be had by all! With cold hands and feet too ;) I stayed inside by the warm fire, of course. We stayed home all weekend, except to go to their church on Sunday, watching movies, singing songs and of course eating! Always lots of good food at Grandma and Grandpapa's house! One Christmas down and only 4 more to go...

God is providing!

Boy is He! I cannot believe how much God has done in people's hearts and wallets! I am amazed as I sit here. When we got the call for 2 we were troubled about the extra cost but knew that God hadn't shown us these boys by mistake. So after lots of talking about it we decided to trust God and told Him that we were trusting Him to provide what we needed to pay for the extra costs. The adoption fee, airline ticket, visa, orphanage fee, it all adds up (to alot)! What a blessing it is to say that God is providing for us to bring our boys home. I stand amazed at what God is doing and the generosity of others.

Oh the agony!

It is beyond my understanding that I love these boys so much! I have never met them, I have never even seen them move or talk or smile. All I have are these 2 small pictures and they mesmerize me. They are already my sons in my heart, in my mind and in our home. The agony just keeps getting worse knowing that they are out there without us, knowing that they are ours! We talk about them all the time. The kids talk about them all the time. Alana told me today that she thought Isaiah would really love cheeseburgers. Don't know why she said this as she hates burgers, hm?
I think about their mom, how sick she is and how she must be feeling without her boys close to her. It must be agony without them. My heart breaks for her and the impossible choice that she had to make. She is very sick and I wonder if she will live for my boys to go back and find her when they are older? But then that would be a very hard thing to do to find a woman that is nameless to me. I wish I knew her name so I could pray for her that way, by name.
We got a treasure of an e-mail telling us a tiny bit more about the boys. Judah's little tongue sticking out in his picture happens to be his habit of sucking his tongue when he is hungry instead of crying. At least now he is getting enough to eat. He is about the size of a 3 month old but developmentally right on target so that is good news. Isaiah is small too, and quiet but I am told all the kids are quiet when they first come to the orphanage. I bought his photo album today to put our pictures in and send to him. This is how they introduce us to him, I wonder what he will think? What would Alana think? I'm not sure.
I miss my boys and dream of them every night, wondering what they are like and how they smile and laugh. Maybe it is just because it is so new but I pray this agony doesn't get worse, it is already to much to think that I can't go bring them home for another 6 months! I know that it will all be in God's timing but to know that your child is without you is hard, very hard. I am sure that this will be the first of many such posts until the boys are home. Until next time...

Judah Matthew Cassius 

Isaiah Ryan Thomas 

Our sons

We have chosen names for our new boys.

The 3 year old will now be Isaiah Ryan Thomas: Isaiah means "God's salvation", Ryan means "kingly" and is after my complete miracle of a brother, and Thomas is his birthname that we are keeping to honor his first mom who made an impossible choice for her boys.
Doesn't he look so sad in his picture? I can't wait to see one with him smiling. Pray that knowing he has a Mommy and Daddy ready to bring him home will make him happy soon!

The baby will now be Judah Matthew Cassius: Judah means "Praise", Matthew means "Gift" and after his daddy (it is Jonah's middle name), Cassius is his birthname and we are keeping it for the same reasons as we are keeping Isaiah's.
Look at all that hair! I pray that they don't cut it off, which is up to the foster care family. I am hoping that since it is in braids it means they will keep it long. And that cute little puckered mouth, making funny faces :)

The greatest Christmas present ever!

It is with great honor that I let you all know that we are now in the process of adopting TWO, yes TWO) little Liberian brothers. We are scared to death of instantly becoming a family of 7 but know that this is what God has for us. The baby is 7 1/2 months old and malnourished pretty bad, he only weighs 11 pounds. Now that he is in a foster home we pray that he will start gaining some weight. His big brother (and Alana and Kai's too) is 3 1/2. He is actually only 2 months older than Alana so it will be like having twins! And Kai will now have a big brother to jump on and rough house with instead of his little wussy of a sister.
We have not chosen names for both of them yet and will let you know when we have. We will also post a picture if I can ever figure out how to with an e-mailed one. If you could please pray for our boys we would be very greatful.
Now the waiting to bring them home begins. Hopefully in 5-6 months but you can never tell with Liberia.

2 great things!!!

Item 1: Yesterday I got a phone call from Donna who does most of the US side adoption things. She asked if we had gotten our I171H approval yet. I had to call her today and tell her that we had not. I was very sad about this as she probably had a referral for us (just presuming) but couldn't give it to us because our paperwork isn't done yet. So I e-mailed immigration yesterday just to make sure that they got our homestudy and have everything that they needed to approve us( I was paranoid they hadn't gotten it or it wasn't in the right place again). After a VERY long day at jury duty I came home to a reply e-mail stating that they sent our approval on Nov. 28 but that it had my maiden name on it so they will send another out today! I am so excited, everything seems to be coming together and we have one less thing to be waiting for! Now the official wait for our son begins! I will be calling Donna first thing in the morning to let her know the good news. Pray that our referral will be here by Christmas!

Item 2: A while back I told you about a friend of mine that wanted to adopt my "Mother of Love" son Randall. Her husband needed to get a new job with amazing adoption benefits if they could make it work. Well time went on and I lost hope of her being is forever mommy. Today I learned that her husband got that dream job and they are seriously considering adopting Randall! God is amazing! You can still pray for them and that God will make it crystal clear but I just keep thinking how amazing it would be to tell Randall that I found him a family in PERSON! To see the look on his face, oh it makes me tear up...

Belated Gotcha Day!

Because it was Thanksgiving I forgot to post that the girls' 3rd Gotcha Day was November 24th. In case you don't know the adoption lingo of Gotcha Day it is the day in which an adopted child comes into your care (not the day they were adopted). I truly can't believe it has been 3 years! I am too tired today to write the story (long day at D'land) and I really don't feel like getting teary-eyed right now so maybe I'll find some time in the next few days. Happy Gotcha Day my beautiful princesses!

BTW, prayers are still needed for Jonah. He went back to work today and is not doing well at all. His lungs are completely tight and he can hardly stop coughing. NOTHING seems to be working for him, even antibiotics. Please pray...

Butterflies

Right now all 3 of the kids are downstairs watching 5 cocoons hatch (is that the right word) into butterflies. It is the most amazing thing I think I have ever seen. They are rocking their "shell" back and forth and you can see the change taking place right before your eyes! The cocoon takes on a more "humped" look after being quite smooth and then the wings start to very slowly appear. Amazing! God is such an amazing creator! Only one of the butterflies has emerged completely and is now feasting on some sugar water covered flowers. Such an easy science lesson that is fun and amazing too and teaches the kids the wonder of God's creation. Sarah asked, "How did God think of that?" I don't know but I do know he has quite the imagination!

How 'bout some prayer warriors?

Anybody want to pray with us? 2 things...
#1 Jonah is really sick, again. He went to work today and is working 5 days straight. Pray that he will get better as he has been sick TOO much lately and he does not want to have to come home, we can't afford for him to take any more sick days.

#2 Our homestudy went out to USCIS on October 31 and the estimate time for getting our I-171H back is 4 weeks. This is the last thing we need to get before we find out who our baby is! That would put us to getting it sometime late next week taking into account Thanksgiving. Could you all pray with us that we will get it next week! We would REALLY like to know who our son is by Christmas.

Thank you so much for your prayers!

Early Christmas presents

We decided to get Disneyland annual passes this year as our big presents to the kids. It all works out great, we bought the cheapest ones but go on Monday's when Jonah is off and there is hardly any crowd at all. The longest ride I waited in has been Roger Rabbit for about 15 minutes. It is a bit of a drive for us but we are having so much fun with it too. So far we have gone to Disneyland 2 times and California Adventure once. I have the cutest picture of the girls with Sulley from Monster's Inc. but for some reason it won't post here. It might be too big. Thought I would share my cuties. Above are some pics of Kai's first time to Disneyland, and some of the girls too. Enjoy!

Watching Mommy and Sissy on the roller coaster 

Mr. Incredible. Kai didn't want to touch him but got out of the stroller and waved. 

So Cute!

My kids are so cute. I just got out of the shower and hear Alana say, "Daddy, I need you to help me" and Kai say, "Deah (yeah), doday(okay)" (can you tell everything starts with a "d" sound?). Playing house and they are having so much fun. It's so nice when they play nicely together.

My 29th birthday, sigh...

Today is my 29th birthday and I am not to sure how I feel about it. This one has been hard, never thought I would say that until I reached my 40's or 50's but here I am saying that my 29th birthday has been a hard one to swallow. I think it is a mixture of many, many things and the fact that there is only one more year until I am out of my 20's for good. I guess it's time to grow up now, huh? ;) It is seems strange to me that I am the mother of 3 children and one on the way, I'm too young for that, aren't I? Am I really responsible enough to be caring for these young souls and nurturing them in the way of the Lord like I am supposed to be? Am I already almost 1/3 finished with my life (God willing I'll live to at least 90). What have I done? Not much really when I think about it. I think that there is only about 16 years left for me to get pregnant, and yes we are believing still in that miracle even though it seems as though it may never happen. I just pray that God's promise to us will be fulfilled and that we won't have to wait like Sarah and Abraham until I am old.

All that said, I am having a wonderful day with my children. Sarah belted out Happy Birthday first thing this morning followed by Alana and Kai telling me it was his birthday and not mine. We watched Mary Poppins (my favorite) and then went to Wendy's for lunch. There weren't any birthday frosty's available (machine broken) so we went over to Costco and got some of their yummy frozen yogurt. We came home and I got to take a WONDERFUL nap with the littles while Sarah watched a movie since I let her (and me) have the day off of school. We will go out to a birthday dinner tonight and then to see Jonah at his station. Not such a bad day, spending it with my kids. No school, no cleaning, just fun. Lots of fun, not too bad :)

GREAT NEWS!!!

Today it seems that all this stuff about a new baby just might come true after all. I got a phone call from Donna who is the woman that orchestrates all the state side parts of the adoption and just tries to keep everyone filled in on what is going on. She called to let me know that she got our homestudies and will send out our dossier (a fancy word for all the required docs) to Liberia later this week. I also talked with her about Jonah and I going in February and she said that it would be too soon to pick up our child. I told her we didn't even plan on that and weren't even expecting a referral by then and she said, "Oh, you should hopefully have your referral in December!" I was so happy to hear that as I wanted so much to know who our boy was before Christmas. She also informed me that if we did get our referral before we go over to help not only would the adoption process be done in Liberia (meaning our boy would be ours) but we would be able to cut 2 months off the wait time and bring him home in April or May! I have been so discouraged lately because there have been some major waits with the passport office and things have been taking a LONG time. Even though he will be ours when we are there (assuming everything will go as planned and no surprises) we have to wait for his passport to be signed and right now it is taking around 3 months. There is a possibility that they could be moving faster than that by next year but I have learned never to hold your breath with the way Liberia works. They are trying very hard to get their country back on their feet and that means that us waiting may have to wait longer so that they can keep corruption at bay.
Also, it looks as if we probably won't be taking Sarah with us for this trip. Maybe when we go to pick the baby up? Donna is going to talk with the head of AoH (Patty) and see where Jonah and I would best be able to help. There is a new maternity ward that AoH is opening up and I would love to help out in there with the babies and maybe watch one be delivered? Oh I can hardly wait, now the anticipation is really building!

Being called

Yesterday at church Brian (our pastor) gave an awesome message about missions. Needless to say, it left an impression on us and we have been thinking about it ever since. Jonah and I have been telling God, over the last 2 years, that we are willing to go wherever he wants us too to share His word. As of yet we do not feel called too long term missions but our hearts are willing and it is up to God now. Because of yesterday's talk we are wanting to make missions one of our families priorities and spend at least a week a year in the mission field somewhere. Of course right now the country of Liberia is deeply on our hearts and so we thought that would be a logical first place to go and serve. We are wanting to do anything we can but Jonah would love to use his paramedic skills by working in a medical clinic and I would love nothing more than to just go and play with the orphans and love on them. Maybe I will be able to use my teaching skills too? Sarah will also be going with us as we think it would be an amazing experience for her and teach her about serving others and the way most of the world lives.
Please pray for us as we consider the best timing to do this. We are praying we can go early next year but need to find a contact (trying with AoH and another orphanage Children Concerned) to be affiliated with, find someone to watch the little kids for up to 2 weeks, find the money to travel which will be a God thing for sure, and maybe have some others come with us? It's a great surf spot as there was just an article in "Surfing" magazine about it and Jonah is thinking about the possibility of bringing 2 boards and teaching some of the young men at Shepard's Village (where my Mother of Love son Randall is) to surf and build relationship. If any of you are interested in the possibility of going with us please let me know. The more the merrier!

Homestudy mess has been taken care of

After many calls and talks with our social worker we realized that us not having our homestudies was not his fault, it was the fault of our agency. He had sent them to the director to have notarized and she had misplaced them (which she was not honest with me about). So our wonderful social worker Joe said that we would have them in our hands by Monday 11/13. Imagine our surprise when our doorbell rang today and Joe was standing there with all 4 copies of our homestudy! That was a blessing to have them 3 days sooner than we expected. I packaged them up, along with $3,500, to send to AoH. Sarah and I took a bike ride to the postal Annex and sent it off. Now the ONLY thing we are waiting for is our I-171H approval from immigration which is estimated to be here the week of the 27th but hopefully sooner. Pray for us. When that gets here we will send it immediately to AoH and then our wait for the referral of our son begins. Pray that it will go quickly and that we won't have to wait too long! I can't wait to see his sweet face! I have been begging Jonah to let me go to Liberia once we get his referral to spend a week or two with our boy but he says no way. It will be the hardest 5-8 month wait of my life...

Some confusion about the homestudy

I have been calling our agency everyday for the last week asking where my other copies of the homestudy were and why in the world I dodn't have them yet. I was nice in all of them except for yesterday's as I was so frustrated that no one would call me back! I got a call today from the director of the agency saying that there must be some confusion somewhere. She was under the impression, after talking with our social worker, that he had sent one homestudy to immigration and one to us. If this is true then that is great news because that means we should be getting our I-171H approval within the next couple of weeks! If that is not true then I don't know what to think. I sent in our homestudy on Monday this week because the address the website kept giving me was wrong :( The only question left to ask is, where are the other 4 copies of our homestudy that I requested? It seems that no one is sure. I pray that I get them before our I-171H approval comes in because that is when we will be on the waiting list for our referral! Without the homestudy, however, AoH can't refer us a child. Sigh... I thought this was going to be easier than our other adoptions.

My poor boy and other ramblings about my boy

Poor Kai is having a hard time these days. He is getting ALL four of his 2 year molars at once and is in so much pain. He is cranky and whiney all day long and cries while he eats if he tries to chew wrong. Of course with one coming in on each side there really is no good spot to chew.
The one thing that is becoming severely obvious is that Kai is ALL boy. We have seen this for a while but each day he does something new that makes us say wow, he's a boys boy for sure. While the kids were with my mom she had to get tires put on her car and so they sat and watched because it wasn't going to take too long I guess. Well the girls were whining and complaining they were bored and Kai sat and stared the whole time. My mom said he would turn to her and point telling her what the guy was doing. Of course he can't talk to well still and so it was a lot of excited mumbo jumbo. Who knew watching a guy change tires could be fun?
Raising a boy is so much fun, and SO different from raising girls. No one can tell me that we have conditioned Kai to be boy like and the girls to act like girls. Kai doesn't have many boy toys and though he plays dress up with the girls and is sometimes the Mommy we never had to teach him to love fire engines, trains, trucks, tractors, and airplanes. It is amazing how different boys are! I can't wait to have more! Of course I have been waiting a long time for my girl straight from the hospital too. I don't think we will be done with 6, I really don't. I think after the 6 are older God is going to direct us to have some more. Isn't it exciting not knowing what God has planned? Well, sometimes that can be very frustrating too...

Oh the drama...

What can I say? Things in the adoption department have not gone well this week. We had a meeting with a birthmom but she did not choose us, always exciting but disappointing when you aren't chosen. Actually disappointing isn't a strong enough word but I'll leave it at that. After coming home after a weeks vacation our homestudy was in the mail (which it was supposed to be sent straight to immigration) and so I rushed out in between loads of laundry to send it out to immigration. Then we leave for another week with the kids to stay with Jonah's parents only to return to a big envelope from immigration saying we needed an "A" number. We do not need one to find our file and I am thinking that because of some confusion with my maiden and married name during fingerprinting they may be confused too. I have been praying about this ALOT and have come to a sense of peace about all of these delays. Truly, I have. I just know that God is in all of it and that there is a reason why. Our boy isn't born yet, or relinquished yet, or in the orphanage yet, whatever it might be, there is a reason and so we have to hold off and deal with a few more delays until the timing is right. Just my $.02
On top of all that Jonah got REALLY sick and came home from work after just 6 hours and has literally been in bed since then with a HIGH fever. He has never had a fever while sick since we have been married and so I worried about him and babied him. Today is the first day he got out of bed to go to the doctors and did some very low key things. The rest of us aren't feeling up to par either.

Our homestudy is in, finally

Jonah and I just got back today from Virginia without the kids. It was a wonderful time but I will only say one thing. We will never take Southwest again and I advise you not to as well. Let's just say that our luggage was lost BOTH ways and we were lied to and misdirected over and over again. Not the best way to start or end what was othewise a great vacation.
Besides that our homestudy was in the mail when we got home. Of course it was supposed to be sent to Immigration directly, not to us, but I got it out today and it should be to immigration tomorrow. Now the waiting really begins. We wait for immigration to say that we are OK to adopt a foreign orphan (which is the I-171H form) then send that to Acres of Hope and start the wait for our referral. With the way things have been looking in Liberia I am not too hopeful that this all will happen as soon as we thought when we started. The new president is instituting new rules that are still being tested and not perfected and so things are very unorganized and no one is in any kind of rush. From what I am told, that is just Africa in general. And I thought our government offices were bad, they say Africa is about 20 times worse. Right now passports are what are holding up the adoptions. I really hope they get it ironed out by the time comes for us to travel so that we won't be waiting 3 months for a signature like some of the families are right now.
We leave tomorrow early to go to Jonah's parents and are staying with them for a week. It will be a nice time of relaxation and good fellowship with the other Winger's. The kids are really looking forward to it and so are we. It will also be great to see our friends that we haven't seen since we moved. We miss it up there, a lot.

Oh my Alana, too big for her britches

Alana sometimes just amazes me with her insightfulness and ability to know things most other 3 year olds don't know. Today I heard her and Kai playing in the play room and she is saying, "Ok Malakai, this is my dopter (doctor) form to give the the social worker and here are my fingerprints. We willy (really) need to get them in. I need to go to the shewiff's(sheriff) and have this notewized (notarized) and I will talk to the powees (police) man. Here I am going to do my e-mail and see what the social worker has to say. Please don't loose these, they are portant (important)." This is literally was she said, I was typing as I was listening. And we wonder how much our kids understand? Well, I can say now that Alana understands a fair amount of the international adoption process. :) That's my girl!

Homestudy update

Well, today we got our homestudy on our e-mail to proof-read. It didn't take but 15 minutes and I sent it back asking when we will have the final copies by. I pray it will be by Saturday as we leave for vacation on Sunday. If not we will have to wait until the 16th when we return (it had better be here by then) and send it out before we leave the next day for another week long trip to see Jonah's parents and other friends in Nor Cal. The sooner we can get this thing in to immigration the sooner we can get the referral of our son and the sooner we can pick him up!

My little mommy

Being an adoptive mom I have come to realize that I need to be spending more time with my kids in the beginning to help them to bond to me. This is something I wish I would have done when Kai first came home and even with Alana(although we weren't prepared for her AT ALL). Babywearing promotes such great trust and bonding with kids and for me it is important because, unless I birth my children, I will never have been there from day one. I started "wearing" Kai sometime around Feb. of this year and it has been awesome! He doesn't need it to much but it gives me such peace to know that I can just throw him on my back and do what needs to be done(usually it's when I'm making dinner) while he is getting some mommy time. He LOVES being on my back and will drag the Mei Tai (chinese style baby carrier) to me and say "back". All that to say that I am fully preparing to wear the new baby as much as possible. I will not be using the carrier or stroller to carry him in when I can be holding him so that we can form a bond as quick as possible. I do not think that I would have done babywearing if I were to have birthed my children, I would have just nurtured them like I was taught growing up (nothing wrong with that either). But because I am not able to be with my children from the beginning I find it very important for me to keep them as close as possible and meet their every need immediately until that bond is formed. I think this is especially important for our new son because he will have been in an orphanage. Studies say that if a child does not bond properly to ONE adult by the age of 12 mo. they can have major attatchment issues. Of course my 3 that are with me now are fully bonded and the need for meeting their needs immediately is a moot point but for the future children this is how I plan to mother them.
All that to say that Sarah has been watching me carefully as I have made my own Mei tai and how I nurture Kai and told me that she wished she could have a mei tai to carry her "babies" in too. So, I made her her very own mei tai and she LOVES it! I made one for Alana too and they have both been wearing their babies for a few hours during the day. So that is what the pictures are of. Just wanted to share. If you are interested in the best baby carrier I have found (the Ergo)you can see the link to the left saying " the best baby carrier in the world!" It truly is the best and SO comfortable.

Front carry Mei Tai 

Little Mommy 

Back carry mei Tai 

Some really great pictures of Liberia

I found these photos from a woman named Joy that is leaving soon to minister at the Deaf Orphanage in Monrovia (Liberia's capital). There are a lot of them but they are SOOO wonderful! From the pictures I think Jonah and I are going to like it there, very tropical and right on the ocean. Look closely at all the beautiful children! They are so amazingly beautiful! It makes me want to adopt them all! To view the pictures click on "view as slideshow" in the top right, there is one set of pics of her in medical training preparation but the rest are all of Liberia, the ACFI orphanage (for kids5-14), Shepard's village for young men 14 and over (where our 'son' Randall is) and the deaf orphanage.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/findingjoy/

13 days

and still no homestudy. I have learned that when a social worker says you'll have it in a week they really don't mean that. They're usually off by 3 weeks and mean 1 MONTH. Sigh, just more waiting. Nothing new, right? We should be good at the waiting game by now. Still, it isn't fun.

Randall's letter from Liberia

I just got back a letter from my "son" in Liberia, Randall. It is so sweet and I enjoyed it so much I wanted to share. His writing is very good and he sounds so sweet. Many of the errors in grammar are just a part of Liberian english. I wish I could find a home for him here in the US! If you know of anyone please let them know about him. If he is not adopted soon he will lose all chances of having a family to call his own. Here is his letter:


Dear Mom, I am so happy to receive you letter, and to know that you are my new Mother of Love." I will begin praying for you too. I hope you love and understand my writing. I hope to do my letter on computer someday. Thanks for your prayer! I am so much happy about you been a lovely mother to me, it doesn't matter about your age it is the will of God. Here is a story about me, a true story. In Liberia sometime ago war kill my parents, and my grandmom took care of me and give me to my uncle and my uncle brought me in the ACFI home(the orphanage). My grandmom told me the story of my parents, she is very poor woman, not educated, and my uncle is a very poor man too. I came to ACFI during the year 2001. I am very happy and thankful to God that I am alive. He keep me safe from all of those war. I am in grade 8 and I am 14 years old. My birthday is July 4th and on my past birthday sun shines. It is rainy season in Liberia now. Liberia has 2 seasons, they are rainy and dry seasons. During rainy season its rain at many days and we have little sunshine, and during dry season sunshines more than rainfall. Do you love rain? Does it rain often in California? I have 2 cousins and the are both little boys. Joshua is maybe 7 or 8 and the other boy called John is maybe 9 or 10. I am praying that they will have a home in the USA. I hope you and Dad and the little sisters and brother are well and hope in your next letter to hear that you people are fine. I would like to also know you in person (which we'll be able to do in a few months when we go to pick up our baby!) Thanks for your package, I really love it! I will tell you about some of the things I love best. My best sports are soccer and basketball. I love so many colors, but I don't love pink. I love learning at church and school and also at home. I love reading the Bible and stories book. I love to play with my friends.I am praying that God will bless you with a child or children from your own body. There are times for everything, Ecclesiastes 3:1-15. I am glad that you have a picture of me and I have yours. Please say hi to Dad Jonah, Sarah, Alana and Kai and I love them all. I haven't done surfing and I don't know what is surfing. I hope you can explain it to me about surfing. I would like prayer for God to know me better and better each day and that I will dwell in the House of the Lord (heaven). I want to become a helper to the whole world. I want to become a civil engineer and I want to archive 3 degrees. It is true that God answers prayers. My greatest dream is to be adopted to the USA, I need to live with a Mom and Dad. May God bless you! With Love From Randall Doegmah



If you read this far, thank you. If you were touched and would like to be a Mother of Love to a boy that needs someone who cares please let me know. If you know someone that may want to be Randall's mom and dad e-mail me too!

My kids...

Oh my kids, what can I say. I don't know why I am sentimental today, nothing has happened really. I was walking with them in Costco, Kai was pinching Alana and she was crying. I told Kai no and he got upset and started crying. For some reason I started smiling. I just love my kids, I love being with them, I love hearing them laugh and cry and even whine sometimes. It means that I am a Mommy and GET to deal with all the little irritating things kids can do; like pinching sisters and making them cry or crying all the time when you are reprimanded. I GET to be there all day long while they play and fuss and laugh and whine and cry and smile. HOW LUCKY AM I? That I don't have to miss ONE moment of their little lives? That I get to see them learn and grow and play. I am so lucky to have a husband that thinks it is beyond important for me to stay at home with my kids and works his behind off to make it happen even when he is sick of working.
There are many times that I am overwhelmed with my life and the hand that God has dealt me. Not in relation to my kids but all the work involved in "having" kids, the decisions that have to be made, the paperwork and money that has to be paid, etc. but when I look back on it all I can so clearly see God's hand in my life. He has blessed me beyond my wildest expectations with my husband and my kids. I just can't wait to see all the other blessings he has in store for us!
On a prayer note, I have been feeling a heavy burden to pray for our son right now. I don't know what is going on in Liberia or even if he is born yet. I have no clue who he even is! Please join me in praying for him. Pray that his tummy will always have food in it, he will be free from malaria, parasites and diarreha (sp?), that God will just be with him and comfort him and his birthmother (if he is with her), that he will bond well with his caretaker (whoever it might be) because this is such an important part of babyhood and many kids can have long lasting problems if they don't bond properly when they are babies. Anything else you can think of too. Thank you for listening to my rambling :) GOD IS GOOD AND HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER!!!!

Some kid's cute sayings

Sarah- we were playing "I spy" today in the car. It was something grey. She asks Jonah, "Is it the letters on the honker?" Jonah and I started cracking up. It was so cute the way she said it. She had no clue it was called a horn. I guess we don't use it at all and especially not like Uncle Chas ;) I love you bro.

Alana- She came to me the other day with her hand on her chest and said, "Mama, I can feel my heart beeping." I said, "Really you can hear it?" She said, "Yup, just like a horn."

Malakai- Well, he doesn't say too much but every time he sees a fire engine he yells at the top of his lungs, "ENGINE!!! Daddy engine!!!" He loves fire engines, such a Daddy's boy.

Yeah!

Pictures of the house came, I will send the package on Monday. Now all we need is for that darn homestudy to hurry up and be finished and sent so we can start the wait for the referral!

Still no house pictures or homestudy

I'm bummed :(

One more step

The police clearance has been written and notarized, woohoo! I went to the Sheriff's office today and met with the Captain. He was such a nice guy and was very talkative asking about the adoption. Alana was so sweet and said, "I am going to have a new little brother from africa, I am so lucky! We are going to take care of him and Mommy is going to be his Mommy." She of course kept talking but this was the best part.
I was hoping to have our pictures of the house already and send all the paper work tomorrow but I am still waiting for them in the mail from Wal-mart :( Also still waiting on the homestudy, praying it will be here tomorrow too.

Yeah! Our application was approved!

I just got off the phone with Donna, the woman who does intake for Acres of Hope. She wanted to let me know that they received our application and paperwork and after going through it were happy to say that we are approved to adopt with Acres of Hope. All she really wanted to make sure was that we were Christian's and also to let us know that we can only specify 0-12 months, not 0-3 mo. like we had put. I am a little disappointed in that as I want our baby boy to be as little as possible when he comes home. I already know what it's like to miss out on your child's life. It is NOT fun! I guess I just need to trust that God has the perfect baby for us, right? I know that to be true.

Another thing. I just got a phone call (literally a minute before Donna's) asking if I knew anyone that was interested in adopting 2 sisters 7 and 8 years old. Their mother just died and the family is not interested in adopting them and want to find a family before they are taken into foster care. If you know of ANYONE that may be interested or know someone that is interested please let me know ASAP so that these girls don't get knocked around in the system. You can e-mail me at faithwingnut@yahoo.com Also, pray for these little girls and that they would find the perfect family for them that would love them and help their little hearts to heal.

Small update

I picked up our passport pictures today so that is one thing down and 2 to go. The photos of our house should be here any day as they were shipped on Friday of last week. Then on thursday I have to go in to the sheriff's station to get the captian to notorize our police clearance letters. The notary will meet me there, I will pay her, she will notarize and then we will be done with all but the homestudy!!! Yeah! I am anxiously awaiting a large packet in the mail (our homestudy) so that I can proffread it and send it out again the same day. (Sigh) things are moving forward, slowly but surely. Jonah made a comment yesterday to Sarah that our baby might be born soon or could already be if we accept an older baby. What a concept! I pray that he is safe and healthy and getting enough food to eat. I can't wait for him to be home.
On another note, Sarah is very concerned about us traveling to Liberia because of the recent civil war. She told me yesterday that is scares her to think that we could be hurt or killed while we are there. So you can pray for her that she isn't scared and will trust in God for this. I remember those feelings from my childhood when my parents were with Kelly across the country. I didn't know if they were going to bring him back or not and didn't really understand why they were gone at all. At least our trip will only be a week or two.

Sent off a packet

I forgot to add to the other post that I sent a really big manila envelope to Acres on Wednesday with some of our paperwork along with our application and a check for the input fee. I still have another large envelope that I am going to send next week but we still need to get our police clearance, 4 passport photos each and 2 pictures of our house. The pics of our house are coming soon as I ordered them from Wal-mart online and they will get sent straight to my house (very cool), we are going to go today to get our passport pictures taken and then we just wait for the police clearance. That is literally all that needs to be done. It sure does feel good. Of course, once the referral comes in there is a whole other list that needs doing but at least we will have a while before we have to start that one. That list includes lots and lots of travel shots; I am NOT looking forward to those..., more approval from the government, visa applications, travel insurance, and the list goes on. Have a good weekend!

On our way!

We had our last homestudy appointment today and our SW told us we should have the rough draft within a week and then once we send it back to expect the final copies in about a week or 2 depending on how long it takes his supervisor to review it. Both Jonah and I are feeling so good about the way this is going and that we are almost to the next step in the process, waiting for our referral. I know we still have quite a ways to go before we bring our boy home but it feels good to have this chapter of the process almost over. Now I'll just start praying that once the homestudy is in that Immigration approves the I-171H super fast! This is the document we need that tells Acres of Hope that we are OKed to adopt a baby and then the can give us a referral. Here's to prayin'!

Our family, getting ready to come home 

Jonah war painted Kai's face. Jeff war painted Jonah's out of revenge for Kai.  

My dirty kids. I know it's blurry but if you look close you can see just how dirty they were. No, it's not a shadow either. 

A beautiful sunset 

The kids on the beach 

Grandma and the kids hanging in the hammock 

Kai and his new boots

I bought Kai some "fire" boots for when we went camping as I wanted something that would wash easy. I found them at a second hand store for $2.50 and Kai LOVES them! The moment he saw them he yelled, "Daddy shoe!" So they became his fire boots. I also bought him an OLD VHS movie about fire trucks (from 1993) and the other picture is of him entranced by the movie. It is 36 minutes long and he will sit there the WHOLE time! I like that movie ;)

Kai watching his new "There goes a fire truck" movie 

Kai and his new "fire" boots 

Getting things together

Tonight I spent some time getting things organized to send out for the adoption. I have 2 large manila envelopes full of paperwork that need to get sent to Acres of Hope. The only things I have left to collect are 2 pictures of our home, 4 passport size pictures for both Jonah and I and our police clearance which will hopefully be ready by Friday this week. I am going to go ahead and send all the paperwork in to Acres even though we don't have a completed homestudy, that way it is out of my hands and into someone else's, therefore, off my mind. The social worker comes again on Friday to finish our interviews (pray Jonah gets off, he must be here this time) and then he can write it up. I don't know how long it will take him but I am hoping no more than 2 weeks. Then I need to send 3 notarized copies to Acres of Hope and one notarized copy to the US immigration and Homeland Security Office. After that we wait for immigration (approx 5 weeks) to approve us for adoption and send the I-600 A approval. Are you confused yet? Once we have our I-600 A form we send that to AoH and then wait for a referral!!! Yippeee! I can see the end of this step and the next one nearing, finally. Thank you Lord for your goodness!

I stumbled upon this narrative comparing Liberia and Tennesee (roughly the same size) that makes the everyday conditions in Liberia a tiny bit more real. This was found on another blog but is from the LiberianMinistries.org website. I thought you might enjoy reading this.

"Imagine for a moment the state of Tennessee and its capitol city Nashville. Now imagine that, other than privately owned generators, there is no electrical power in the entire state, no running water and no sanitation services. Except for Nashville, where some cell phone coverage is available if you can afford it, there are no communications of any kind available other than to the very few that can afford the $1,000 cost to purchase a satellite phone and the $1 per minute to use it. Also understand that a job, such as a certified school teacher, pays $20 per week or less.

"As you walk down the streets look at all the high rise buildings and imagine that most of the windows are shattered from automatic weapons fire, that the upper floors are abandoned because there is no electricity to power the elevators and because the businesses that once used them have fled the state. As you walk down the streets there are bullet holes in every building, street sign and utility pole. Many of the buildings you pass are burned out but have been reclaimed by street vendors and others, at least on the first floor. Each person you meet on the street, all 1.5 million of them, has one or more relatives that have been killed by rebels within the past ten years.

"Imagine that, if you can find a car or truck going, it takes 15 or more hours to reach Memphis. If your tire fails on the way there is nowhere to buy another except in Nashville. In the city of Nashville people live in shacks built in back alleys and against buildings. Everything that they need, food, water, clothing, must be purchased and yet 9 out of 10 people do not have a job. Most do menial tasks each day such as selling cold water, hauling goods long distances in a wheel barrow or selling food that they have prepared that morning. The goal in life is not to “get ahead” but to stay alive. Many (most) people in Nashville are hungry.

"Once you leave Nashville the situation changes. If you live near Knoxville or Chattanooga you are able to raise your own food. Of course you have to plant and harvest it first. Potatoes and turnips make up almost every day’s meal but, if you can hunt, there is the possibility of a raccoon, possum or ground hog from time to time.

"Think of every home in most towns outside Nashville having been burned and the families not killed being forced to flee into the woods to hide out. As they are hiding they are systematically being hunted and killed. Know that if you live outside of Nashville and have a serious injury you will likely die before you can get to a hospital. Besides, most of the doctors have left the state long ago.

"Now imagine that you can’t find your parents or perhaps your children. As you walk down the street you pass thousands of children whose parents were both slaughtered during the rebels’ killing march through the outer areas of the state as they converged upon the capitol city. They are orphaned. If they’re lucky they can find a relative to help them. But many are alone to fend for themselves or starve. There is no welfare system to rescue them, no school they can afford to attend and no place to learn a trade or business that will enable them to earn a living in the future. They are caught in a trap that will ensure the next generation of Liberians will be less literate, less prosperous and more likely to turn to crime than any in the past. If you can imagine all of this, you can imagine what it is like to live in Liberia."

Can you see why we have decided that these kids need us? Their lives are in no way comparable to ours. They need help...

My afternoon alone

Yesterday, my mom called to see if she could take all the kids for the weekend. This is something she hasn't been able to do since we moved and I readily agreed. Well, after our dentist appointment and homestudy I met her and then didn't know what to do once I was alone. Remember Jonah is still at work. Usually when I am without the kids I am either with friends, Jonah or just grocery shopping. This was a whole new experience for me really and it was ACKWARD! I called Cari who lived nearby to see if she wanted to have dinner later that night but that still left me with about 2 hours to find something to do. I went to the mall. I guess when your used to having kids with you everywhere you go for 3 years being alone is a little bit disconcerting, at least it was for me. I felt extremely self-concious and I am not usually (or didn't used to be) that way at all. After all, there was no stroller to push or little hand to hold, just my purse slung over my shoulder (not even a diaper bag!). I wondered what people thought about me as I walked, no kids to distract them from me. I wondered if they could tell I had kids or if they thought I was just a woman. I wanted them to know that I was a mom! After waiting so long and going through so much, I REALLY wanted them to know I was a mom. I know, I'm strange. I guess I just love my kids and love being with them. I am so glad it is not just me anymore alone when Jonah is gone and that I have 3 little ones following me everywhere I go, wherever I go. What a blessing!
I did however get to sleep in this morning. It was very nice to just lay in bed and know that there was NOTHING else that needed to be done right at that moment. BTW, I don't get to sleep in when it is just Jonah and I, he's as bad as the kids :)

Our homestudy today

It's late and I'm tired but I wanted to fill you in on today's homestudy. The devil is working overtime with us trying to discourage us but then the Lord steps in and gently reminds me that He is the one in control. What would we do without Him? I shudder to think of it... Anyways, last night Jonah found out that he was getting held on at work( not for a fire, just because someone else called in sick and they didn't want to find someone else to work overtime). Well if you've been following this blog at all you would know that we have been waiting a long time to get our homestudy interview scheduled (about 2 months). We were SO angry at Jonah's work, that they could do this even though he had somewhere important to be and we both went to bed angry. This morning I prayed for the homestudy guy and that he would be understanding, be able to do all the other stuff and meet with Jonah only next week at our next appointment. The doorbell rang and he was the coolest guy, not at all concerned with the fact that Jonah wasn't there because he had all of Jonah's ?'s written down from all those millions of pages of paperwork we filled out. He just needed some more answers on our specific child type, age, health needs, etc. along with some other very general questions. No serious ?'s and for most of the time we talked about our kids; his are older mine younger. Overall, I jsut felt a sense of peace from God and thought to myself, "What was I so worried about?" I definitely felt better after the meeting.

Sarah and I made butter

And it is SOOO yummy!!! We are reading "Little House in the Big Woods" and Laura and Ma made butter in the book so Sarah and I decided to try making some butter of our own. We had fun shaking a jar filled 1/2 full with heavy whipping cream and Sarah enjoyed the buttermilk (YUCK!) . We spread the fresh butter on Ritz crackers and it was to die for. We're going to try some honey butter next. Mmm!

WOOHOO!

Many of you may know that I am very involved in an online ministry called Hannah's Prayer. It is for women, like me, that are dealing with infertility and a great place to go and meet with women who love the Lord and are dealing with the same kinds of issues that you are. I have become fast friends with many woman there even though we have never met face to face. When I heard about the "Mother's of love" program for Liberian boys I wrote a post telling others on HP about it and I got 3 "mom's" to sign up for the program and are now "Mother's of Love" themselves. Well one of my friends, Elisa, just wrote to tell me that because I turned her on to this program her and her husband are going to be pursuing the adoption of an older child from Liberia! I am so excited that I can hardly stand it. These kids need homes SOOOOO bad! Elisa is also an adoptive mom like me and has adopted from Romania, Korea, Haiti and domestically so this will make child number 5 for her. I think we are a lot alike as both our husbands tell us, "You can't adopt all the children that need homes" our answers, "Well, we can adopt one and give them a family and love." Just wanted to share and again if any of you want to be a "Mother of Love" please let me know. It is such a simple thing that takes very little time and could change a young man's life.

Oh how I miss the mountains!

We got back REALLY late last night after a LONG drive and a fun weekend of camping with Jonah's parents. We caught lots of fish, sat by the lake and swam a lot. It was a great time. Kai was the dirtiest he has ever been and it took a lot for me to just let him get dirty but he had fun. On Sunday we had a bunch of our friends come and spend the day at the lake with us and it made me miss it there a lot, Jonah too. I wouldn't be surprised if we end up back up there some time in our life, we just love it there. I went to church on Sunday with the girls (grunge and all) and it was nice to see everyone. We got to be there for our good friends to be set in as elders at our old church. Overall it was a great weekend but it made me miss it there all the more. But I am happy here too... Back to the heat, it was 86 last night when we got home at 9:00 and is already 80 outside at 9:30 this morning. I can't wait for fall!

Chocolate chip cookies, Mmmmm

Tonight I had on my agenda to make cookies for our camping trip (we are leaving tomorrow). I told the kids that they could help and they were SOOO excited. I made 2 batches so there was plenty for them to do. Alana and Kai helped pour in all the ingredients and then helped me hold the mixer as we "blended". Sarah helped put the dough on the cookie sheets and then she put them into the oven (she was at a friends during the measuring/mixing part). And here is my favorite part... they all sat on the kitchen floor and watched the cookies bake for the whole 10 minutes. It is a facsinating thing you know :) It was a very cute picture ( one I didn't get) of all 3 of them sitting there watching the oven. Oh how I wish I can make time stand still some days. They grow up too fast!

Moving forward, finally!!

After much confusion and time waiting to get a homestudy appointment scheduled we finally have 2! Our social worker called yesterday (after pestering his boss) and we were able to set up an appointment for Sept. 8 & 15. He has none of our paperwork and so we need to pray that he will get what he needs before the 8th so he can write the homestudy as we meet and that it will be done soon after our last appointment. So our deadline of Sept. 1 is not going to happen but maybe we will only be a month behind? I pray that it is so!
We could also use some prayer for an unspoken request about this adoption. We are praying about something right now and waiting for God to lead us to an answer. We need to have a clear direction by the time the social worker comes for his interview so we are a bit on a timeline.
Also, another update. We have decided not to pursue foster care at this time. It seems clear to us that God closed the door for now after finding out that we would have to supervise visits between the foster children and their birthparents. We are not comfortable putting our children in that situation because of their past with foster care. They would have to come with me and sit in on visits as well. Just not a good situation for young children, or me either! So we are putting off foster care to the future when our children are older but are still possibly doing fost/adopt for our next child/ren once we bring home our boy from Liberia.

Waiting and more waiting

But it is worth it in the end, right? Things seem to be going REALLY slowly. We are still waiting for the agency to get their act together to come interview us and then write our homestudy. Once that is done we should be on our way, at least turn in our paperwork to Acres of Hope and start waiting, again, for a referral. There are many new positive changes happening in Liberia right now and it looks like they are headed for a promising future if things continue down the road they are headed. There is electricity running in the city for the first time in something like 20 years. Even though it is only to select government buildings they are planning on connecting it all around within a short time. It is great to see the Lord work in such a devistated country. It only took the new president 7 months to have the power on, I wonder what she will be able to do in the next 7 months... They are also making a stricter policy for adopting parents that will be good for the children. The biggest one is that they are only allowing adoptions from professsed Christian families.

We kind of sort of started Sarah in school this week. Just some slow-basic-getting-back-into-it-kinda-thing. She learned about Helen Keller last week and now wants to learn sign language so I am trying to find a good kids video that she can learn from and then we can practice together. It will be fun for Alana and Kai too! We sat down last week and discussed what she wanted to learn about this year and she wants to learn ALOT! She wants to learn about: China, Liberia, the USA, space, geology, her body, and a different man or woman a week that did something in history. This week she chose Ponce de Leon. We also started the "Little House in the Big Woods" and are doing vocabulary and Christian principles skills from it. I just love those books, they are fun to read and you learn so much about that time period too.

I'm tired, time for bed.

I am now the Mother of a 14 year old Liberian boy!

I just got an e-mail that has matched me with a 14 year-old boy named Randall as his Mother of Love. It is a program from a Liberian orphanage that matches Christian mother's with boys who are either too old to be adopted already or are not likely to be adopted because they are too close to 16. It is not a monetary thing, just encouragement and motherly love through praying, letters and pictures but may help a young orphaned boy feel like he has at least one person rooting for him! Randall's parents are both dead. His father died in the war and his mother died of sickness during the war. He has been in the orphanage since 2001 and was just moved to the older boys unit called Sheppard's Village along with 50 other young men. How sad that these boys have very little hope to have a forever family and also a 1 in 90 percent chance that they will ever have a job! It just breaks my heart to pieces...
If you would be interested in being a Mother of Love you can go to the Children Concerned website and e-mail Candy about it using the contact e-mail. The website is www.childrenconcerned.org/cc/ I asked about it and she sent me a reply with Randall's picture (boy is he handsome and has an amazing smile!) with some of his information and then asked if I wanted to be his "mom". I can send him letters and small trinkets (nothing more than $3) if I want every 2-3 months when there are missions trips from the US and they will take it there for him.
Just think what an impact you can have on a child's life half way around the world! Even if it is just praying for him and encouraging him through your letters. Please give this some consideration, you could change a child's life.

Frustrations

I am really frustrated right now with the speed of this adoption. It is hanging up on our homestudy agency because they aren't ready to come and interview us. They say they have to wait until the fingerprints come in to make sure that we aren't felons or something. I mean come on, it has been 5 months since we have adopted our other 3 children, do ya really think we are bad people? You would think they would take it case by case. After all they do have our money, ALL OF IT, to write our homestudy. They should be working for us, right? So as our self imposed deadline draws near I am realizing that there is no way that we will have all of the needed items in by Sept. 1 like we wanted. We actually have everything else needed for the orphanage but the homestudy holds things up and it makes it out of our control. Sigh... Jonah reminded me last night that it is all in God's timing and we aren't ready yet because our baby isn't ready yet, not even born. I guess he's right but this waiting game isn't fun at all.

On a side note Sarah and I have been having so much fun spending the money for supplies to go to Liberia. We went to Costco and bought a bunch of stuff (clothes, vitamins, baby shampoo and lotion, and lots of Tylenol) and she still has about $220 left to spend. It is so much fun to see Sarah excited about giving to others and she is loving it too. Her favorite part was when I would ask how many of something she wanted to get and then she would just shout out a number and we would put that many in the cart. She is really trying to talk us into letting her come with us to Liberia and give the goods to the orphanage herself. I think it would be a GREAT idea but Jonah isn't keen on it at all. He keeps trying to get ME to say I'll stay at home too but I'm not buying that one.

We have a name picked out for our son but won't be sharing it with anyone until we get his referral. That way we can use his birth name with his new name if we want or we may like his birthname so much we might not change it at all.

Have a great week and I will be posting again soon, I have a lot on my mind...

Sarah is 7!!!

I truly cannot beleive that I am the mom of a seven year old. Am I that old already? We had a great day with some friends over, swimming, cake, a movie and then a special dinner at a place called Yellow Basket which was Sarah's choice. We got her a new bike that she loves and it is still yet a little big for her so it will take some time learning to get going without sitting on the seat and also using hand breaks and gears. At dinner I decided that we would go around the table and say something good about Sarah (we had 2 friends with us). I started and she completely ignored me! So we stopped that and I told her that we would start that tradition when she was older and wanted to hear good things about herself in front of others. :)
So, Sarah... She's only been Sarah for a year now but it seems like its always been that way, that she's always been here. Even she says it is weird when she hears the name Dreama. Reminicing (sp?) today we started talking about the day I went to go pick her up and almost started crying when I thought about how far my little girl has come and how she has captured our hearts, especially her Daddy's. It took Jonah a long time to love her and Sarah a long time to love him but now he is smitten and it shows, she loves her Daddy. When I met Dreama she was a little 4 year old that didn't talk at all, was petrified of men between 16 and 40, pointed at everything and had NO verbal skills. She didn't even know how to use the bathroom correctly! Little by little she started learning the words for fork, salt, plate, pajamas and even though you couldn't understand her it was progress. By the time she was 5 she was talking up a storm in the house but was still shy as can be with others and still hard to understand most of the time. She was hurting but growing and thriving in a loving and secure home that she was safe in. Now that she is 7, my how she has changed!!! I can say without doubt that she is a completely different little girl. Yes, she is still shy at times but not enough that she minds busting out in song at the grocery store! A couple of weeks ago she performed in front of our whole church with other kids to sing a song and she actually SANG AND did the motions!!! That is HUGE for her.
Sarah is still learning what unconditional love is but how lucky am I that I get to show her that! I still have to make her give me a kiss but she is now ready with hugs whenever I ask. I am so glad that God put her in our home, she is such a blessing to me and such a big help. I cannot imagine my life without her in it. Sarah to me is a miracle of a little girl that had all the odds against her in her short little life but she got a second chance and I was the one SHE chose to be her Mommy forever. I still remember the day she said that word for the first time... Mommy. What a precious sound. I can finally say that I am truly her Mommy and she is truly and completely my little girl. I love that girl so much, I don't think she will ever get it.

A blessing in the mail

Yesterday when I went to go get the mail I noticed a letter addressed to Sarah from someone I didn't know. My first thought was it could be someone from her birthfamily(who shouldn't know where we live) and so I opened it before telling her just in case. Inside was the letter she had written about Liberia along with a short note from someone we didn't know. It said, "We got this in our P.O. Box that we have had since 2/2005 and wanted to let you know it didn't reach the intended person. We opened it to see if we could get the correct zip code to send it back and read your letter. We were touched and pray that you will meet your goal. Here is a gift to help the children in Liberia." They enclosed $20 with the note. It is a blessing when others that you know give but for someone to give without knowing us as the Winger family and our integrity really blessed our family. Just wanted to share.

Foster Care

Jonah and I attended a meeting on Saturday from 9-2 to get licensed to be foster parents in our county. It was a long and boring meeting and we knew everything they had to say but it is mandatory if you want to do foster care. We also need to do 11 weeks of training; once a week for 3 hours and then go through the whole foster care homestudy process. It was a bit daunting thinking about what we are going through with this adoption and we even talked about whether or not we wanted to do this (on our 15 minute break). By the end of the class though we both knew that even though it is a TON of effort we were called by God to do foster care. It is not fun or pleasant but if God called us how can we say no? Some may wonder if we can handle it, of course we can and again I say, "How can we tell God no?" Besides I truly beleive that God will not give us more than we can handle. What would that be teaching our children about being obedient to God's calling? We decided that IF we get licensed before baby Winger comes home from Liberia we will take placements but will take off 2 or 3 months after we come home with Baby Winger. I guess you could say it is all in God's hands now and we shall see what happens. We are excited about the future of our family and more and more seeing peace about being "tied" down with a family of young kids. What a wonderful problem to have!!!

Busy, Busy, Busy

We are super busy but there is not much to report from the adoption front. We got our certified birth certs. today and I finished our letter to the Liberian government about why we want to adopt from their country, two more things down and many more to go. We are still waiting for the homestudy agency to contact us and start the interview process. I am praying that they will call early next week and we can meet Friday for our first meeting. It will take the social worker a while to write up our homestudy and the sooner he gets it done the sooner our son will come home!
Saturday Jonah and I are going to a foster care orientation for the county. Not sure if we will be going forward with them or another agency but we could use the prayers for direction and dicernment(sp? that doesn't look right?).
Sarah passed her half way mark today and has now raised $365!!! She is beyond excited and making a list of what exactly she wants to buy. It is so refreshing to see her being so selfless in this and excited about something that in no way benefits her. She is not, by nature, a very selfish girl (although she can be) but it is good to know that she is learning to think of others first. One of our family motto's is "Put Jesus first, other's second and yourself last". She is doing just that with this project. I am so proud of her!

Sarah's fundraiser update

So far Sarah has raised $105 and is in the process of collecting some sheets and towels from a friend and also some receiving blankets from another friend from our old church. Thank you Sue, Annie, Grandma and Papa, Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Porge and Lynda. Sarah took some of her money to a sale at Carter's where everything was $3 and bought 4 outfits. 1 for a baby boy, 1 for a baby girl, 1 for a 5 year old boy and 1 for a 5 year old girl. She was so excited to do this and give them new clothes. It was a great deal because we couldn't have bought good quality clothes for that price at a second hand store! So she officially has about $85 left right now(which we are going to go and buy medicine with next week) but is still $490 short of her goal. God Bless.

Fingerprints, fingerprints and more fingerprints!

Jonah and I have had our fingerprints taken 3 times this last week and are about done with the whole thing. I mean really, why does the government need to take them each time for each different agency? Can't they share? Of course not because then they wouldn't be making $75 a pop now would they? On Tuesday I went to the sheriff's dept. to get my fingerprints done and they wouldn't take them because I had the kids with me. Now, I have had my fingerprints done at least 4 times with at least one if not all of my kids in tow so I don't know why this was a rule here. The worst part was that they were SO rude about it as if my kids are just little nuisances and brats. I got to get in at a private company that does it out of a ladies home and the kids sat quielty and perfectly for the whole 10 minutes it took. At least that one is done now.
Yesterday we had to get fingerprints done for the Dept. of homeland security about 30 minutes away. When we drove into the parking lot we noticed there was an African store! It was so much fun walking through and seeing all the beautiful clothes, food and trinkets. The owner was from Africa and got very excited when we told him that we were adopting from Liberia. I am sure we looked a strange sight to all the people in there wondering what the heck we were doing. I bought some Red Palm Oil which is a major staple in Liberia and used to cook everything. It is supposed to have major health benefits and is one of the best oils you can use to cook because it does not cause free radicals in your food. I made scrambled eggs this morning with it and they were good!
At the fingerprinting place the kids were SO naughty! Alana and Kai would not sit still and leave each other alone and Sarah just made things worse by yelling at them. We were so frustrated. Jonah got his done and then they called me back. Well, the form that Immigration had sent to us in the mail had my maiden name on it instead of my married name and they didn't know what name they needed to fingerprint me under. So of course the immigration officer was at lunch and would be gone for 45 minutes. I made a phone call to someone on the form with my maiden name and left a message and then Jonah left to drive around with the kids because we were both so frustrated with it all. About 5 minutes after they left a lady came up to me and said did you hear the news? I don't know what you did but someone faxed over a new form with your married name on it! She went on and on about how amazing that was that someone was doing their job so quickly, it never happens. Who said God doesn't answer prayers? I got my prints taken and then called Jonah to pick me up but he had forgotten his phone at home and so I waited and waited and waited. It was quite a frustrating day and we were both glad when we got home because we got to go on a date!!! It was the first time in a while and so nice to just be together. Jonah mentioned when we sat down at dinner how different it was without the kids because you could just talk and not worry about anything but yourself.
Is this adoption stuff done yet? I am ready to just go get my baby, enough of all this. paperwork.

This one touched me too

Once there were two women who never knew each other.One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one. One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it. The first gave you a need for love. The second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name. One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears. One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide.The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.
And now you ask me, through your tears, the age-old question unanswered through the years. Heredity or environment, which are you a product of? Neither, my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of Love.
© Author Unknown

Kisses in the wind

This poem touched my heart as we wait for our precious boy and as he waits for his mommy and daddy to come and take him home.

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.--- Unknown

Reciept of our I600A, Yeah!

On Saturday we got a letter from USCIS (dept of homeland security) that they recieved our form to adopt a foreign orphan(I-600A) and will wait till they recieve our homestudy (which is in the process) to send our I171H, which we need in order to move forward. Is that confusing enough for you? The good part is we are going to be able to get our fingerprints done next Friday and will just have our homestudy to turn in. It should take about 4 weeks from the time they get our homestudy until we get our I171H. That puts us a little bit over where we want to be but it could still happen! There is just no putting a time limit on how slow our governement and other people do their work. We can, however, still turn in all of our other things to Acres of Hope on Sept. 1 and wait for our I171-H without causing a huge delay in our referral.
This was exciting news to me and I started clapping when I saw who the letter was from. One more step forward (oh and they cashed our check too, yipee!) and one day closer to holding my baby boy in my arms.

Malakai is 2!!!

WOW, where has the time gone? I think I will say this every year as each of my children get older but it is so true. When I think of 2 years ago on June 22 I am reminded of the days events. That morning (right around the time Kai was being born unbeknownst to me) I sat in his bedroom in the rocking chair staring at all the cute little boy clothes I had for a little boy that never did come home after a failed adoption. I cried and cried as I asked God why he would allow us to have a room ready for a little boy and yet there was no baby in sight? It was a difficult morning for me to say the least. I wanted my baby! I went through the day in somewhat of a funk. I took Sarah and Alana to the city pool and we had a fun time. For some reason I decided to check the messages at home (which I never do) and there was a phone call from Lois telling me she had a birthmom who wanted to meet us and to please call her ASAP. There was NO mention of a baby already born! After calling Lois back and learning Lisa wanted to meet us the next morning I was elated but VERY cautious as we had already been let down once before.
The following morning June 23 we drove to the hospital and met Lois there. She had some news for us that we needed to consider and so Jonah and I prayed in the lobby to make it clear if we should meet Lisa or not. I am so glad that we did! From the moment we walked in the room she talked about Kai like he was already ours, she had already made her decision about us before we met. We talked for a while about things I can't even remember and then she said, "Why don't you go and meet your son." We walked down to the nursery and there were 4 babies there. How strange not to know which one is yours! When the nurse pointed him out the feeling was indescribable. I was scared to hold him or even touch him. I was scared that the nurses would chide me, I was so out of place! One of the nurses finally told me to sit down and I could feed him and OH how wonderful that was. Jonah looked on and chose not to hold him yet. We were both in complete shock I think and still cautious because there was always the chance we wouldn't be able to leave with him. Our heart's were very guarded but at the same time we wanted to rejoice!
That day is probably the most memorable day of my life outside my wedding day and it is so special to me. I thank Lisa often in my heart and in my letters even though I don't know if she gets them or not. What an amazing gift she gave me! I wish she could see him now and what a big boy he has gotten to be. I wish she could see how much he loves his Mommy and gives her kisses every 5 minutes. I wish she could see the elation in his eyes when Daddy comes home and how he cuddles (just for a second) against his sisters and says, "I uv oo!" How blessed am I that I get to be the one to kiss away his tears, hold him close before bedtime and sing to him his favorite song. God has surely blessed me! Thank you Lisa for entrusting this precious boy to my care and finally fulfilling my dream to be a Mommy. You gave me the best gift someone can ever give.
Happy Birthday Kai! Mommy loves you!

Sarah's fundraiser has officially begun

Sarah recieved her very first check in the mail today and it was for $50! I wish you could have seen the look on her face. It was priceless. The very first question she asked was, "how much stuff can we buy for the orphans with this?" She can't wait to go and buy things with the money. She has been working so very hard on this project and even though she has gotten discouraged with writing out addresses she has still trucked on. I am having her work on addressing the envelopes for an hour a day and the poor thing can only get 4 done in that time. The good thing is that she finally finished them all today and sent the last one out! Yeah Sarah! At VBS she had to draw a picture of something that was hard for her and she drew a picture of her addressing envelopes. The good part is that she knows how to address an envelope and knows our new address now. That is something kids usually learn in 3rd grade. Good school project if you ask me ;) So she now officially has 1/12th of her goal which is $600.

I HATE tomato bugs!

They are the grossest things I think I have ever seen! And they are destroying my tomato plants :( They just started appearing (where do they come from?) about a week ago and Jonah had the honor of getting rid of them because I couldn't do it. I mean, I am not a sissy. I'm not usually scared of things (except spiders but isn't everyone?). I like snakes and rats and things that most women don't really care for but these bugs have got me creaped out. Last night as I was watering I almost jumped out of my skin when one came into my vision! It truly scared me but I was too chicken to kill it myself. So this morning I elicited the help of my little girl who loves worms to come and help me find and kill this huge worm. Did I mention that the worm was about 4 inches long and as big around as my thumb? So Sarah and I tromp out with a paperplate for smashing and some tongs for retreiving. I was going to get it off the plant and Sarah was in charge of killing it. I found the little bugger and pulled with the tongs but just managed to squish him a bit so then I kind of scraped him off to the ground. Sarah wasn't sure exactly what to do and I just turned my head and told her to kill it. She put the paper plate over it and squished. When she raised the plate about 1 TBS. of worm bile and parts (all nasty green)were now all over my patio. Now I was thouroughly disgusted. But the bug wasn't dead! SO Sarah squished him again and even more gunk came out! I had had enough but we still needed to look for other worms. Thankfully the only other one we found was very small and didn't make such a big mess. I am really not looking forward to doing that again.

I keep forgetting to mention

that Alana is offically a swimmer! And boy is she amazing. It is such a cool thing to see such a little girl (just turned 3) diving like her sister and swimming around like a pro. Sometimes she looks like she is dying but she tells me not help if I pick her up. Her favorite thing to do is dive from the side, which I taught her last week, and she does it SO good! Once in a while she does a belly flop, but don't we all?
Another cute thing about her is that she has just turned 3 and the difference in her is astounding. It is like a bulb clicked. She is more compliant, obedient and wanting to please. She is more compassionate with her brother and sister and ALWAYS wants to do things like a BIG girl. She has to put her clothes on like a big girl, eat her grapes like a big girl (take them off the vine herself), pull her panties down to go potty like a big girl, have a big girl cup, and the list goes on. It does not fail that she makes the comment, "can I do it like a big girl Mama?" everytime we do something that could be construed as her still being a "baby". That basically means anything that Kai needs help with. I am amazed at how grown up my baby girl has become. Part of me is excited about it with a new baby on the way and all but I still just want her to be my baby girl and let me do evreything for her.
One last thing and I'll finish. Today as I woke her up from her nap the first words out of her mouth were, "Mama are you going to adopt a baby in your belly?" Now how do I answer that? She knows we are adopting a baby but she also knows that we are praying that there will be a baby in Mommy's belly too. It's all too confusing for me to even think about but it was a sweet question none-the-less. By the way, yes Jonah and I completely believe that God has healed us and that we will one day be pregnant, well me at least ;)