{reflecting}

I have been in a reflection sort of mood. I've been reminiscing about when the kids were all smaller - when I had no idea what I was doing. And all of this reflecting has made me absolutely LOVE the season of life I am in now. Seasons are so interesting. I am thankful that God designed our lives that way. I definitely think it is one of His many mercies toward us. Seasons are especially interesting when you realize that you are in the middle of one and can view it from the outside. I am in the season of "getting a taste of the 'bigger years,' while still knee deep in the 'little years.'" 

Iris is 18 months old and quite the clown. And this is the age that has always made me a bit kooky. Like crazy-lady-gonna-run-away kooky. But this time it's different. There is more grace, more patience. I am constantly comparing how different it was when Reed was this age. When I tell Iris that she can't do something, she turns it into a game - usually running off, with a maniacal laughter, and leaving a mess in her wake. When I would tell Reed that he couldn't do something, he would throw a huge, raging fit. Full on, thrown down, ugly hissy-fit. He would get SO angry and it would blow me away, make me angry, and humble me all at the same time. I would just sit and cry in defeat. Because even though I would discipline him and correct him, I would think that it was futile and get so discouraged. But God is so good, because I can look back at the me-then and say with confidence to the me-now that "It gets better!" All the hard work, all the training, all the correction and discipline pays off in huge ways. Because although their personalities are very different, what has really changed is me. I am different. I am a different mom then I was. All the prayers, that God would change my heart and that I would display the fruit of the Spirit, are paying off. God has done a work in me (with a long way still to go, mind you) and for that I am thankful.

I am also remembering how hard it is to take a toddler anywhere and actually carry on a conversation. I mean seriously. Iris is a storm of food on face, dirt in nails, vaseline in hair, and cereal on floor. "It's time to go, Iris," I tell her and she goes completely boneless as I mop the floor with her thighs all the way down to her pink converse. It is exhausting. She is exhausting. But I can breathe, give thanks, and press on, because I know this madness will end, and I know the time put into training now is and will be completely worth it. 

Because I have 3 big kids to prove it. They are actually like little people now. Well-behaved. Respectful. Polite. And overall, they are a blessing to be around and I like them, I actually like them. I am not embarrassed or worried about an outburst or temper tantrum from one of them. But here's the thing. My husband and I have put in the time of sowing seeds and God has done the growing. We have prayed, we have laughed (I have cried), and we have spent hours training, correcting, and disciplining. They weren't born this way and we didn't "get lucky," as if we hit the parenting jackpot and were given better-than-average kids. What is really happening is that we are reaping the harvest. We are reaping the joys of having children that are a joy to be around, not just for us, but for others as well. We have always prayed that our children would bless others. That they would cause people to stop and consider the words in Psalms 127 that children are a blessing from the Lord. That they aren't just little consumers using up the earth's resources. That all kids don't spit in the face of their elders while they play on their smart phones. This blessing, this joy to be around is not just a sentiment that we wished for. It is one that we fought for. We have interceded for them and pleaded with God. And He has used our broken, sinful selves to bring about His grace in their lives, because He is a good and loving God that desires for us to be sanctified completely and thereby blessing our children. The seeds - the training, tears and prayers - were sown and we are reaping a harvest that is worth it all. 

Enjoying our children, liking our children, fostering a deep relationship with them is tough stuff. It is the work of plowing and digging up the soil even when the sun has set and we are bone-tired. It takes hard work, it takes dying to self. And it takes the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives to not get frustrated, angry and downright selfish. It takes remembering the grace of God and setting our eyes on Christ in order to extend that grace to little lives He has entrusted to us.

{on becoming a pastor's wife}

I used to smoke pot in 8th grade. And if you had asked me then if I thought one day I would be a pastor's wife, I would have blown that joint right in your face. 

But by God's grace, a pastor's wife is exactly what I am. I mentioned in one of my last posts that 2012 was a big year for our family. Patrick became the pastor of our church in August 2012, which meant that Iris was only a few weeks old. I can remember several people asking how I was going to handle that with a new baby, three other kids and Patrick still working as a real estate broker on top of everything else.

Iris at 2 weeks

I can honestly say that God gave me an extra measure of grace during those first couple of months. Iris is a wonderfully calm baby and when she isn't hungry or tired, she is so happy. This was, and still is, such a gift from God. I was also genuinely excited to see what God was going to do in our church and in our family. I trusted that He had called Patrick and the Lord has proven to be faithful to that calling. My faith has been strengthened by the way God has moved in Patrick's life and I am reminded of God's perfect plan and perfect timing. A year ago, I would've grasped and clawed for Patrick the busier he got, demanding that he be home to help me - I mean I just had a fourth baby for cryin out loud - I would have been justified, right? But thankfully, I didn't feel that way and although it was hard at times in those early months, I had a peace in my heart, knowing that this was God's plan and I could rest in His goodness. 
And this journey that we are on has been so good. Our church is in the candidacy phase to become part of the Acts 29 network, and that has been such a blessing. It is an amazing church planting network that supports pastors in their call to shepherd their churches. I am so thankful to be a part of it, especially as I meander this new role of a 'pastor's wife.' I never felt any pressure from our church to be someone that I am not and I am so thankful for that. But I am becoming keenly aware that like anything else, if I am not resting in who Christ has made me, then I will put the pressure on myself. I am a people pleaser by nature, and have to be careful to not fall into that trap. But on the other hand, I want to be willing to give of myself and not hunker down under the guise of protecting my family. It is a fine line between those two and I need the Lord to direct my steps and keep my heart in check. 

Our church is considered a re-plant by Acts 29, since Patrick is now the pastor and the church is under new leadership, and so I am a "church-planting pastor's wife" (sounds complicated). I was pretty stoked to win this book in a random drawing that I stumbled upon the other day over at Kendra's blog. The book I won is The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart, by Christine Hoover. She blogs at grace covers me and it has been such a source of encouragement to me.

I am looking forward to reading it. I desperately want to glorify God and be a helpmate to Patrick and the good Lord knows that I could use some guidance in this area as it is so new to me. I didn't think that my life would change that much, because I am still me. But my life is different and at times I can't put my finger on exactly why. I am praying that I will glean some wisdom from the other women that have gone before me. 

miscellany monday {fourth child observations}

Ever since Iris was born, I have had a running list of things that I have noticed since we became a family of six.    

Iris at 6 weeks old   

• First, everyone comments on how she looks like one of her siblings. I have yet to hear that she resembles one of the parents who actually conceived her.
• The only time I have heard that she looked like me was from the sweet, random 80 yr old in the store. I thanked her for feeding my unfortunate narcissism.
• People assume that I have it all down now that I have 4. And I have absolutely no problem letting them believe it.
• Conversely, people allow me tons of grace for NOT having it all together. "Oh, it's okay," they say, "you have 4 kids, I'm doing good with just 2." "Don't worry that you're 45 minutes late." And I am thankful that the expectation bar has been lowered. Because that's how I like to roll, people. Always lowering the bar, always lowering the bar. 
• People tell me that she must be laid back since she's the fourth. I can remember hearing that when Reed was born and I got a rude awakening. He was and is not laid back, and in fact, he is very obstinate and let's just say, passionate. So I think it depends on the child's personality. So far, Iris, is shaping up to be more like Patrick and Meadow - calm and content. Saige and Reed favor their momma - emotional passionate and opinionated we'll say.
• I hear a lot of "God bless you," when I have all four of them in the store. I used to hear "you've got your hands full," but I guess people just jump straight to, "Holy crap, she's is crazy," and they just give me the sympathetic "God bless you."
• I get a lot of random people telling me all about their grandchildren, which I love by the way. I guess they feel like they can tell me, because apparently I love children. Oh and they usually think I am even more awesome since many of them (the grandmothers) have a friend named Iris.
• If you go to lunch with other moms with multiple children, bringing the total to 10 kids you may or may not be asked if you're part of a daycare. True story.

KAPOW! The AMAZING Super Baby on the attack!
(Iris at 6 months)

Happy Monday!!

 

{miscellany monday}

Happy Monday to everyone! I decided to jump back into {miscellany monday} because sharing about other things I find on the web is one of my favorite things about this blog!

1. 5 Ways to Fight Slavery

I liked this post - What Christians Do About Modern-Day Slavery over at the desiring God blog. It was informative, convicting and challenging. We need to do our part in fighting the evil of human trafficking and this article helps point out some easy and obvious ways to do it. I can't help but think of this quote by Martin Luther King Jr.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” 

2. Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart

This is a review of J.D. Greear's book, Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart, by Tim Challies.
Challies says, "Greear sets out to accomplish two things: to help the Christian find assurance that he has been saved, and to help the unbeliever resting on a false assurance see his danger and to turn to Christ." It looks like a great book and would be helpful for anyone who struggles with the assurance of their salvation.

3. A mover and a shaker

Iris is on the move! 
So far she still army crawls everywhere, but she gets up on all fours and rocks it like a rock star. I love to see their personalities take shape. She's 6 months and I love this age!


4. The Greatest of These is Love

photo by cloistered away

My friend, Bethany, wrote a great post on Valentine's Day last week. I could totally relate and I know you will too.
  Check it out, will you?

Grace and peace to you 

this glorious Monday morning,

a new year and a faith strengthened

A new year. I can hardly believe it's 2013. And that it is already February. What?!?! Life most definitely moves faster the older you get...

4 crazy kiddos

A lot changed in 2012. I had baby #4, I became a pastor's wife and I decided to homeschool. Whew. That IS a big year. I spent most of 2012 on a blogging break because I was, and still am, searching for balance in my life. But I am processing what the Lord has been teaching me and thus I am blogging for today. 
I have been learning that my entire Christian life comes down to faith. I know, I know, ground-breaking, isn't it? But as simple as it sounds it has been life-altering and many of the dots of my walk with the Lord have been connected, so to speak. I have realized that the same lie that Eve believed in the garden - that God was withholding something from her and that He couldn't be trusted - is the same lie that is whispered in my ear daily. And the battle in my heart and mind is a battle of faith - who will I believe? Will I believe the lie or will I believe and remember the faithfulness of God? Will I believe that He is withholding something from me or will I believe that He works all things together for my good (Romans 8:28)? A couple of years ago, I can remember crying in the shower and asking the Lord if he was good. Was He really good? I desperately wanted to believe it, but knew that I wasn't living like I did. I would say that I believed in His goodness but when it boiled down to it, did I really? How we view God dictates how we live this Christian life. And I knew that, I knew that if I was questioning God's goodness, it was affecting how I lived. I didn't want to doubt - I wanted to believe in my heart what I knew to be true in my head. I wanted to see fruit of the new creation that Scripture promises. And praise be to God, I believe that He has been answering that prayer ever since - slowing showing me His goodness and faithfulness.
This verse from Romans has made a huge impact on my life:

"Yet [Abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why 'it was credited to him as righteousness.' The words 'it was credited to him' were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification." Romans 4:20-25

I am seeing more and more that God has the power to do what He promises, and my prayer is that I am fully persuaded like Abraham. I believe that He is the one that is faithful. He is the one in whom my heart finds joy and the one in whom I can take refuge. But oftentimes it's a battle to believe these truths in the depths of our soul. In 1 Timothy 6:11-12, Paul exhorts believers to "Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called..."I have to fight to believe the promises of God. When I am tempted to worry, to get angry, to be impatient, I remind myself (with Scripture) that His Spirit is in me and therefore, I have the power to display the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 6), and that I am a new creation (1 Cor 5:17). I fight the lies and the temptation with the truth in His word.

 John Piper's Future Grace has been so helpful in this battle of faith. This book has helped me to see how trusting in what Christ did on the cross is my strength for the future - minute by minute, day by day. It's not just enough to look back and be thankful for what He did. I also have to look forward and trust that He will remain faithful to the end.

"...what it means to believe in Jesus is to experience him as the satisfaction of my soul's thirst and my heart's hunger. Faith is the experience of contentment in Jesus. The fight of faith is the fight to keep your heart contented in Christ - to really believe, and keep on believing, that he will meet every need and satisfy every longing." - John Piper, Future Grace

That's where I'm at. I love to write out my thoughts, so thank you for reading! I have lots more to say, but I am cutting this post off now and plan to write more about the other changes that I mentioned earlier in this post (i.e. homeschooling and being a pastor's wife). 

But I would love to know how you fight the good fight. Leave a comment and let me know! 


Blessings!

{on ovens, teapots, cleaning and God's light}

We got a new oven this past week, because our old oven was a causality of my last pregnancy. Let me explain. Since I can't drink coffee when I am pregnant (not because I like to avoid caffeine, but because I like to avoid puke), I drink A LOT of tea. I turn into a Brit the minute I conceive. So when I was pregnant with Iris, I boiled water on the stove every morning. I used a whistling teapot that was a wedding gift many moons ago. It was yellow. A happy bold yellow. Since it whistled, I would turn it on and walk away, because you know, that's what moms do - multi task - and come back when I heard it whistle. Well one day, I walked back into the kitchen and I could smell this awful charring smell. I yelled for Patrick because I thought something was about to explode in the oven. And then I realized that my teapot was what was getting charred. Me and my baby brain forgot to put water in the teapot! And I saw that my yellow teapot was melted to the glass top of my stove. Yeah. Awesome. And in the process of prying it off, the entire top cracked. Patrick was so kind about it and we have laughed about it on more that one occasion. I am thankful that he doesn't love things more than me. 
In preparation for the new stove, we had to pull out the old one. And I knew what that would entail. Cleaning. I was not looking forward to seeing what was behind the oven. When I got the mop out and started to clean, I saw a whole lot more that needed cleaning - the baseboards and the cabinets were atrocious. I don't notice them anymore since I don't have a crawler - who knows the last time that I gave it a good scrubbing. Have you ever not wanted to turn a light on because you didn't want to see the dirt that is lurking in the corners? When the light streams through my windows, it reveals so much grossness that sometimes I honestly just shut the blinds so that I don't have to see it. So I don't have to stop and deal with it. And as I was mopping, I started thinking about how much my life resembles that. I oftentimes don't want the light of Christ to shine on the yuckiness in my heart, to reveal the gross sin that is lurking in the corners. In BSF last week, we studied Genesis 4, about Cain and Abel. ^"The Lord said to Cain, 'Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it'” (Genesis 4:6-7). God mercifully warned Cain that he was blind to the sin that was crouching and lurking in the shadows. He warned him that it wanted to rule over him. I have been thinking all week about what sins are crouching at the door and want to rule me? They aren't the "big" sins, but the less discernible ones in my life, that lurk in the shadows of my heart. Impatience, selfishness, self-righteousness... these are what I am tempted to give into. I am constantly teaching my kids that Love is patient and kind, it's not rude. And every time I say it, I am reminded of my own rude and impatient heart. While cleaning, I was reminded of this truth:

"...for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Ephesians 5:8-14

What a wonderful promise. Expose the dark places of my heart to the light of Christ and darkness no longer reigns there. This is because when sin is exposed, when it becomes visible, it is in the light. I may still struggle with it, but I am no longer blind to it. It is there for me to deal with instead of ignoring it, it is there for me to confess and allow the Holy Spirit to clean it out. I want His light to reveal the places in my life that don't bring him honor and that hurt the people around me. Because that's what sin does, it hurts those around you whether you like it or not. Instead I want to love with the love of Christ and not give in to the sin that is crouching in the darkness, I want to be the light. I don't want to be blind or comfortable with the sin in the dark places of my heart. I don't want the sin in my life to hinder me from authentic relationships. So I am opening the windows and letting the light of His Word expose my sin.

"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:5-9

This promise in scripture is both challenging and comforting. I am going to take hold of His faithfulness and allowing the light of His Word to expose the sin I don't want to deal with, the dirt in the corners. I am relying on his forgiveness to wash and make me clean. And I am praising Him for the times in my life that I am forced to clean and deal with the yuckiness in my life, in the corners of my heart.

Blessings to you this Monday!

 


 

miscellany monday {random}

One of my absolute favorite things about blogging is the ability to share with you all the awesome things I come across in cyberspace. Here are four of them.
 
1. Honest Toddler. It is probably one of the funniest blogs I have ever read. I have literally cried from laughing so hard. If you are a mom (or if you have ever spent more than a minute with a toddler) and you have a sense of humor, then check this post out. I had a hard time picking just one for those of you new to that blog. You might want to check out the other posts with your smart phone in the bathroom, because I guarantee that you will wet your pants. Don't say I didn't warn you.

2. Craftfail.com is hilarious, and this made me laugh. I like look at this website when I get disillusioned with pinterest. It's therapeutic.

3. This is so funny. No explanation needed.

source

4. And, of course, Happy Columbus Day!

one week photo shoot

My good friend, Terri, offered to take pictures of Iris and I gladly took her up on it.

Here is our sweet Iris Elaina at 1 week. Enjoy!

 

 

iris elaina. july 25

This post has been a long time coming. Iris is now 2 months, but better late than never, right?!

 

Our fourth baby, Iris Elaina, made her way into the world on July 25th at 11:40 am. She weighed 7lbs 5oz and was 19" long.

  

We decided on her name about 5 hours after she was born. Iris was the 5th name on my list of 5. I liked it, but wasn't sold on it. But when she was born, she came out a little feisty. All the other names seemed too docile and passive, so we decided on Iris. She's calm and content, but she's definitely not going to be a pushover.

Mimi picked out these shirts for the kids. It's uncanny that she chose purple given her name wasn't decided yet.

    

The big 3 ready to meet their baby sister.

 

Proud BIG sister Saige with a knitted cap from the nursery. Once again, uncanny that it's purple. God cares about the details!

Meadow, her bling, and her baby sister somewhere in that blanket and hat

Big brother Reed

The Wimberlys Six

Two days old

I hope to blog more about how being a family of 6 is going, so check back if you're curious!



Happy Friday!

my first baby is six

This entire pregnancy has been a wonderful reminder of my first pregnancy with Saige. Her original due date was Aug 3 and this baby girl's original due date is Aug 1. I have reflected on where we were living and how I felt during my first pregnancy more than I have in a long time. Seeing Saige grow up, is a beautiful reminder of what babies turn out to be - a little person with their own personalities, talents and gifts from God. 

My dearest Saige,

How lovely you've become. You are such a smart young lady, with a contagious laugh and a natural ability to lead. Your Daddy and I are so proud of you and of who you are becoming. Our prayer for you is this:

Lord,

You have Saige on a journey, and she needs her mind to be ready for the challenges, and the adventures that are ahead.  The world will offer many distractions and the enemy will try to make her stray from the path You have carved out for her. I thank you that You go ahead of her to light the way, are with her always to keep her steady, and You even follow after her to comfort her when she missteps.

Father, I ask that you give her a mind that is calm and full of hope. I pray that Your grace will turn her thoughts toward You and strengthen her walk of faith.

May she be a girl who is marked by self control and confidence in Her faithful God.

I pray this in Your name that never changes.

Amen.

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self‑controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:13, NIV

We love you, sweetie!

-Mommy and Daddy