Please visit and bookmark this URL: http://wilkinsstuff.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
New Life, New Blog
After blogging for 1.5 years about our adoption trials and events... we have decided to create a new site, where we can share about our finally-together family and our "new life" post adoption!
Please visit and bookmark this URL: http://wilkinsstuff.blogspot.com/
Please visit and bookmark this URL: http://wilkinsstuff.blogspot.com/
Monday, April 5, 2010
Easter Weekend & Worms
We headed over the mountains and "through the woods" (and this song was quite appropriate, given we drove through a snow storm!) to my parents house for Easter. It was sort of a last-minute decision, but we were all glad it worked out. It was a long car ride for Samuel (about 5.5 hours) but he did great. He didn't get fussy until the last 20 minutes and that is mostly because he needed a diaper change!
M&D took us out for dinner on Saturday and we enjoyed hanging out and talking. Samuel did really well there too... so that was a relief!
We enjoyed our Easter baskets and going to church with M&D. We met a lot of people who have been praying for us, which was really nice. Samuel definitely had ants-in-his-pants during the service, so I spent most of my time in the back, walking him around. But all-in-all... he did great, given he is a 23-month old! :-) I can't really complain too much...
Health:
On our way home, I was listening to v-mails and OHSU had called to give us the results of his latest tests (we did another round and dropped things off before we left on Friday.) Turns out he has tapeworm... SIGH, UGH, YUCK. So he has been through the ringer with parasites and now this... poor guy. But actually, we are a bit happy to find this out, as it might explain his continues lack of significant weight gain. So... now it's more medication for the little one.
Paperwork update:
The stack of adoption papers is sitting on the table ready to mail. Well, we thought so anyway, until we started reading more fine print. It says we need "certified copies" of the birth certificate and adoption decree. Well, we don't have those, given Haiti doesn't have original copies... so now what? We are really the guinea pigs for this Category One process, so asking questions doesn't generally lead us to answers... it just opens up more cans of worms.
Other:
We are heading to Palm Springs next weekend... we weren't sure we were going to go, but have decided it will work out okay. We have a house rented for the weekend, which will make this "workable" for having Samuel with us. We don't plan to do anything except relax and enjoy some sunshine...
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My Helper...
Monday, March 22, 2010
A Paperwork Kind of Day...
So... the GREAT news is that we are considered to be in CATEGORY ONE, which means we should be able to complete our adoption this year! I will be so thrilled if this is really the way it plays out.
The USCIS (immigration) came out with a long document and details of being in CAT 1 or CAT 2... basically if you didn't make CAT 1... there is a two-year waiting process that has to take place. But because we got that one document signed, the day before the earthquake... we just made the cut-off. I am so relieved by this news, but also feel so bad for the many other families who didn't make it. I know we will all do whatever we have to, but it just makes things a lot more complicated and drawn out.
HOWEVER... the picture is of all the paperwork I had to go through today... much of it was new and some was trying to dig up the old stuff and compile it in a "slightly" different way than what was required before... we also must get passport photos and get a sealed medical exam done. All of this takes a lot of time and coordination...
But... we are hopeful we are on our way to having what we need... the check-off list is a long one.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Apology
Sorry that I haven’t blogged in awhile… I know many have expressed concern, wondering if everything was okay. I promise you that everything is just fine!
Samuel is definitely keeping us busy! But aside from that, over the past couple of weeks I was in California, Pennsylvania and then flew to Bend, OR for the weekend (to meet Joe there at his parents.) So finding time to blog was just a bit much with my work schedule…
Things are going well…. We do love this kid. :-) I am feeling a bit guilty being able to leave for work though… I KNOW this it is more than a full-time job to stay at home with Samuel and Joe has his hands full. But Joe has found some opportunities (like a small daycare at the gym) to be able to have some time to himself, which we both feel is important. But we have definitely been able to get into a routine/schedule and are figuring out what works and doesn’t work… I think our last big hurdle is the sleeping pattern, which is still a struggle. Some nights are better than others, but in general, all the kids in the orphanage seem to be going through similar issues (not being able to sleep through the night and needing to be comforted in order to get some sleep.) The orphanage/adoption setting is different and we all tend to error on the “just give them love and attention” side… these kids have been through so much and I don’t think sleeping straight through the night was a common occurrence/pattern in Haiti.
This weekend we were in Bend, OR (at Joe’s parents house.) We were able to see aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins for the first time since brining Samuel home, so it was a fun day. Joe had been there since Wednesday and I flew in late on Friday night. Thanks to all of the family members for coming over and hanging out (and thanks to Bonnie for hosting!) A SLIDESHOW IS BELOW…
It was fun when we arrived back home today. Samuel was TRULY elated to be “home.” He was dancing and spinning around – all grins. I think it was just one of those “wow, I am safe and I know this place” moments in life. So I just laughed and danced with him for awhile! :-)
Samuel is definitely keeping us busy! But aside from that, over the past couple of weeks I was in California, Pennsylvania and then flew to Bend, OR for the weekend (to meet Joe there at his parents.) So finding time to blog was just a bit much with my work schedule…
Things are going well…. We do love this kid. :-) I am feeling a bit guilty being able to leave for work though… I KNOW this it is more than a full-time job to stay at home with Samuel and Joe has his hands full. But Joe has found some opportunities (like a small daycare at the gym) to be able to have some time to himself, which we both feel is important. But we have definitely been able to get into a routine/schedule and are figuring out what works and doesn’t work… I think our last big hurdle is the sleeping pattern, which is still a struggle. Some nights are better than others, but in general, all the kids in the orphanage seem to be going through similar issues (not being able to sleep through the night and needing to be comforted in order to get some sleep.) The orphanage/adoption setting is different and we all tend to error on the “just give them love and attention” side… these kids have been through so much and I don’t think sleeping straight through the night was a common occurrence/pattern in Haiti.
This weekend we were in Bend, OR (at Joe’s parents house.) We were able to see aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins for the first time since brining Samuel home, so it was a fun day. Joe had been there since Wednesday and I flew in late on Friday night. Thanks to all of the family members for coming over and hanging out (and thanks to Bonnie for hosting!) A SLIDESHOW IS BELOW…
It was fun when we arrived back home today. Samuel was TRULY elated to be “home.” He was dancing and spinning around – all grins. I think it was just one of those “wow, I am safe and I know this place” moments in life. So I just laughed and danced with him for awhile! :-)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Happy Wildcat, Happy Husky
So "the boys" had a bit of both going on today. :-)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Haiti Adoptions: USCIS FAQ's
I am posting this because I wanted to share with friends and family where things stand on the adoption of Samuel... I think many people think we are "in the clear" and moving forward with processing the adoption. Unfortunately that isn't the case and it honestly is feeling like we have a long way to go. I am HONESTLY trying to stay positive and just channel my frustration toward making a difference (and at least having the "adoptive parent voice" be heard.) I think we learned how important it is not be afraid to stand up for what you think is "truly right."
This being said - we have Samuel at home, with us... and nothing will ever take these moments away! Having him home almost 9 months sooner than we anticipated has been an honest miracle and we do not take that lightly! We just want to close the chapter and know he is our son - for good! Right now I am not sure what we are according to the US government. And the only ID we have for him looks like a paper coffee punch card (not kidding!)
----------------------------------
The USCIS (citizenship and immigration) issued a 5-page FAQ, outlining next steps for legalizing adoptions. They also hosted another conference call for agencies and adoptive parents. I guess I was hopeful when I saw the documents arrive in my inbox – thinking that may the US government had worked out special provisions for these Haitian children and their families. I have been trying to be so positive that the US government would "do the right thing" and create a special category and grant citizenship for those children who have proof of being far enough along in the adoption process.
We are working with our adoption agency, who is having their attorneys review the details. We have also contacted a senator's office. And Joe and I are now thinking we will need to contact an immigration lawyer. Which means more financial burdens, more paperwork follow-ups and more battles to fight. It's not that we won't fight – I think all of you out there know we will do WHATEVER IT TAKES for Samuel (we have come this far and we aren't about to stop now!) ☺
But it's like the nightmare just keeps going… and we have to be our own advocate (and use other parents to check and verify our hunches..) It's like we are playing a game but the directions weren't included in the box. And even the experts don't have the answers because the rules keep changing on us. You know those times when the insurance gets your info wrong and you have to spend hours trying to fix something you didn't break? Well multiply that feeling by 1000 and you get the idea…
And not that I am an expert, because I am hoping someone tells me I have the facts wrong and all will be just fine!
So here is the summary of where things stand:
This being said - we have Samuel at home, with us... and nothing will ever take these moments away! Having him home almost 9 months sooner than we anticipated has been an honest miracle and we do not take that lightly! We just want to close the chapter and know he is our son - for good! Right now I am not sure what we are according to the US government. And the only ID we have for him looks like a paper coffee punch card (not kidding!)
----------------------------------
The USCIS (citizenship and immigration) issued a 5-page FAQ, outlining next steps for legalizing adoptions. They also hosted another conference call for agencies and adoptive parents. I guess I was hopeful when I saw the documents arrive in my inbox – thinking that may the US government had worked out special provisions for these Haitian children and their families. I have been trying to be so positive that the US government would "do the right thing" and create a special category and grant citizenship for those children who have proof of being far enough along in the adoption process.
We are working with our adoption agency, who is having their attorneys review the details. We have also contacted a senator's office. And Joe and I are now thinking we will need to contact an immigration lawyer. Which means more financial burdens, more paperwork follow-ups and more battles to fight. It's not that we won't fight – I think all of you out there know we will do WHATEVER IT TAKES for Samuel (we have come this far and we aren't about to stop now!) ☺
But it's like the nightmare just keeps going… and we have to be our own advocate (and use other parents to check and verify our hunches..) It's like we are playing a game but the directions weren't included in the box. And even the experts don't have the answers because the rules keep changing on us. You know those times when the insurance gets your info wrong and you have to spend hours trying to fix something you didn't break? Well multiply that feeling by 1000 and you get the idea…
And not that I am an expert, because I am hoping someone tells me I have the facts wrong and all will be just fine!
So here is the summary of where things stand:
OPTION ONE:
We have the option to wait and go through legalization in Haiti ("Orphan Case") However, as we all know, Haiti is shut-down. This seems unreasonable and it puts the onus & stress right back on the adoptive families. The US government actually states that we may have to take them back to Haiti to finish the process.
We have the option to wait and go through legalization in Haiti ("Orphan Case") However, as we all know, Haiti is shut-down. This seems unreasonable and it puts the onus & stress right back on the adoptive families. The US government actually states that we may have to take them back to Haiti to finish the process.
OPTION TWO:
We need to wait 2 years if we want to use the US process (Petition for Alien Relative.) However, our Humanitarian Parole WILL expire before it is possible to go through these steps. So my frustration with this is that the US government should automatically just extend all of the Haitian Adoption Humanitarian Paroles, as this will be required. Why wait and then create more work for the government later on - they are going to have hundreds of families who require this. As well, the need for an extension will make the parents liable for more "filing fees."
There are also additional issues:
- Not being able to comfortable travel out of the country with our children for two years… (paperwork is not robust enough to have the confidence to go in/out of other countries)
- Concerns about insurance coverage (some parents are having big issues with this)
- Not being able to have our children be beneficiaries of assets, etc…
- Name changes; can't do anything here (not a big deal in the scheme of things, but still an issue.)
- What about the money and fees most of us already paid to the government for fingerprinting and I-600 paperwork filing? These seem to be for not… should those fees be refunded?
This seems like red tape, for the wrong reasons (is this just me being too dramatic and frustrated?) Using existing processes absolutely should have been reviewed/considered, but not made THE process just because they didn't want to create a new one for the Haiti children. It sounds like we didn't have anyone fighting to streamline this and do the "right thing."
Alternative suggestion and ask for help: Minimum Request
• Step 1: Should they not have instead looked at how far the kids were in the adoption process, drew a line and granted citizenship to those children?
• Step 2: Extend all Haitian Adoption Humanitarian Parole, as this will be required
• Step 3: Consider working with Haiti to create a special category for these children.
We need to wait 2 years if we want to use the US process (Petition for Alien Relative.) However, our Humanitarian Parole WILL expire before it is possible to go through these steps. So my frustration with this is that the US government should automatically just extend all of the Haitian Adoption Humanitarian Paroles, as this will be required. Why wait and then create more work for the government later on - they are going to have hundreds of families who require this. As well, the need for an extension will make the parents liable for more "filing fees."
There are also additional issues:
- Not being able to comfortable travel out of the country with our children for two years… (paperwork is not robust enough to have the confidence to go in/out of other countries)
- Concerns about insurance coverage (some parents are having big issues with this)
- Not being able to have our children be beneficiaries of assets, etc…
- Name changes; can't do anything here (not a big deal in the scheme of things, but still an issue.)
- What about the money and fees most of us already paid to the government for fingerprinting and I-600 paperwork filing? These seem to be for not… should those fees be refunded?
This seems like red tape, for the wrong reasons (is this just me being too dramatic and frustrated?) Using existing processes absolutely should have been reviewed/considered, but not made THE process just because they didn't want to create a new one for the Haiti children. It sounds like we didn't have anyone fighting to streamline this and do the "right thing."
Alternative suggestion and ask for help: Minimum Request
• Step 1: Should they not have instead looked at how far the kids were in the adoption process, drew a line and granted citizenship to those children?
• Step 2: Extend all Haitian Adoption Humanitarian Parole, as this will be required
• Step 3: Consider working with Haiti to create a special category for these children.
Monday, February 22, 2010
4 Completely Full Days...
As you have probably noticed, I have been posting photo’s without many details the past few days as it’s about all I could manage.
My life has had some crazy times in it, but I think these past 4 days have been right up there at the top for “go-go-go.” And given it was also my first week back to work, I didn’t have a lot of time to think about stuff until it was happening (maybe that was best!) And I have to be honest and say that we pushed Samuel too much and we feel guilty and bad. I know we over exposed him to people and places. We were just trying to balance events with having family in town, along with giving back to all of the wonderful people who have supported us.
I feel bad if people think we are not allowing him to “visit” and be held as much as they would like. But we are trying so hard to work on this attachment thing, as he doesn’t know what parents are (it has only been one month.) And after you read the below details, we know we would be considered “failures” to date, per the experts. To Samuel, we are just “a safe place” right now, but he could easily go to other people to meet his needs… So, I ask that people just be patient with us while we work through this. We want to get this right; we only have one shot.
Thursday:
Thursday:
We presented at the Baptist church downtown Portland. We had put together a 10-minute video of the our story to bring Samuel home, so that made it relatively simple. We share the time with 2 other volunteers who were actually in Haiti during the earthquake. There were about 20 people who attended and it was fun to share the story of GLA, Haiti and help get the right facts out there…
Jamie R. stopped by and we played, watched Survivor and got sandwiches… Jamie was one of Samuel’s volunteers in Haiti this past summer (though we had no idea until later on!) She was in town (from Southern Oregon) to play a couple of basketball games in Portland.
Jamie R. stopped by and we played, watched Survivor and got sandwiches… Jamie was one of Samuel’s volunteers in Haiti this past summer (though we had no idea until later on!) She was in town (from Southern Oregon) to play a couple of basketball games in Portland.
Friday:
Joe went to his elementary school (Greenway) where he was presented with a “big check” for $1473.09 – the amount of fundraising the school has done thus far for God’s Littlest Angels! He spoke about how the money would be used by GLA to improve the lives of babies and other member of the surrounding community.
My parents came to stay with us (5.5 hour drive)
Joe’s mom and grandma came to stay with us (3.5 hour drive)
We enjoyed time with family… just playing with the kiddo and catching up with each other.
Joe went to his elementary school (Greenway) where he was presented with a “big check” for $1473.09 – the amount of fundraising the school has done thus far for God’s Littlest Angels! He spoke about how the money would be used by GLA to improve the lives of babies and other member of the surrounding community.
My parents came to stay with us (5.5 hour drive)
Joe’s mom and grandma came to stay with us (3.5 hour drive)
We enjoyed time with family… just playing with the kiddo and catching up with each other.
Saturday:
Aunt Martha stopped by and dropped off a big box! It was full of cool gifts for both Samuel and US!
Our WONDERFUL friend’s Shannon and Amanda put on a “Toddler Shower” for us. We spent from 12-3pm enjoying time with friends, eating delicious food and opening some really great gifts! I was so thankful to S&A for doing this for us! And also so glad people were able to share in this event. I feel like so many people have truly helped bring Samuel home... Samuel made a quick showing, but took a nap from 1-3pm, which was great!
We then took my parents and went to see Jamie R. play the second half of her basketball game. Samuel was SO GOOD and sat on our laps the entire time. He was completely engaged watching the game and we were able to snap some photo’s with Jamie after the game.
Sunday:
Samuel’s dedication at church. Let me preface by saying… Samuel is a good kid. He did awesome all weekend and was just calm, pleasant and really good at just being quiet (I realize this is NOT NORMAL!) JBut this has become “his norm” for us, so we were pretty confident he would do just fine for the dedication. (as proof of this calm nature, he is currently just sitting on my lap as I type completely content.)
He did fine on Sunday morning… he had got good sleep, was being good, etc… However, once we got to the church, took some photo’s and went back inside (to wait at the back of the church until we were called up front) he decided that he didn’t want anything to do with church… There might have been some issues with his parents giving of “stress vibes” as we were kind of shocked by some people we didn’t know just walking right up to him and touching his face and hands, etc… It just wasn’t something we needed right at that moment.
And so… when we were called to go up with Pastor Randy, Samuel was a complete wiggle worm and quite frankly a little pill (this is NOT a term I have ever had to use for my son (honestly, I keep waiting, but he is truly just a good kid – the typical words have been “sweet, pleasant, kind.”) The only cute & redeeming factor was that he was waving to the crowd. But we made it through... no harm, no foul in the end. We just exited into the foyer, headed to the car and went directly to Starbucks (leaving all of our family at the church service.) There was just no way we were sticking around with this little attitude!
We then had some friends/family over for a get-together after the service… And I have to say THANK YOU to Michele and Meagan, as they organized and made food for the entire event! I could not have pulled this off without their help (a complete last-minute ask on my part too.) It turned out to be fun and a good way to spend a bit more time with people.
That night… we ordered Thai food (thanks Dad!) and enjoyed a bit of down-time. Then my sister and her kids dropped by to see us before M&D had to head back home. We enjoyed time with the cousins, though Samuel crashed to bed before they left (he was exhausted.)
So… I am tired yes. We made some wonderful memories and so thankful for everyone who was involved with one or more of these events! It was definitely a crazy few days and I think I might need a “weekend for my weekend.” But unfortunately work does take priority and I was back at it today. I am just glad we made it through all the events semi-successfully!
Now we hope to just chill out for awhile, stay in our “cave” and enjoy doing nothing for awhile… Is that bad?
Aunt Martha stopped by and dropped off a big box! It was full of cool gifts for both Samuel and US!
Our WONDERFUL friend’s Shannon and Amanda put on a “Toddler Shower” for us. We spent from 12-3pm enjoying time with friends, eating delicious food and opening some really great gifts! I was so thankful to S&A for doing this for us! And also so glad people were able to share in this event. I feel like so many people have truly helped bring Samuel home... Samuel made a quick showing, but took a nap from 1-3pm, which was great!
We then took my parents and went to see Jamie R. play the second half of her basketball game. Samuel was SO GOOD and sat on our laps the entire time. He was completely engaged watching the game and we were able to snap some photo’s with Jamie after the game.
Sunday:
Samuel’s dedication at church. Let me preface by saying… Samuel is a good kid. He did awesome all weekend and was just calm, pleasant and really good at just being quiet (I realize this is NOT NORMAL!) JBut this has become “his norm” for us, so we were pretty confident he would do just fine for the dedication. (as proof of this calm nature, he is currently just sitting on my lap as I type completely content.)
He did fine on Sunday morning… he had got good sleep, was being good, etc… However, once we got to the church, took some photo’s and went back inside (to wait at the back of the church until we were called up front) he decided that he didn’t want anything to do with church… There might have been some issues with his parents giving of “stress vibes” as we were kind of shocked by some people we didn’t know just walking right up to him and touching his face and hands, etc… It just wasn’t something we needed right at that moment.
And so… when we were called to go up with Pastor Randy, Samuel was a complete wiggle worm and quite frankly a little pill (this is NOT a term I have ever had to use for my son (honestly, I keep waiting, but he is truly just a good kid – the typical words have been “sweet, pleasant, kind.”) The only cute & redeeming factor was that he was waving to the crowd. But we made it through... no harm, no foul in the end. We just exited into the foyer, headed to the car and went directly to Starbucks (leaving all of our family at the church service.) There was just no way we were sticking around with this little attitude!
We then had some friends/family over for a get-together after the service… And I have to say THANK YOU to Michele and Meagan, as they organized and made food for the entire event! I could not have pulled this off without their help (a complete last-minute ask on my part too.) It turned out to be fun and a good way to spend a bit more time with people.
That night… we ordered Thai food (thanks Dad!) and enjoyed a bit of down-time. Then my sister and her kids dropped by to see us before M&D had to head back home. We enjoyed time with the cousins, though Samuel crashed to bed before they left (he was exhausted.)
So… I am tired yes. We made some wonderful memories and so thankful for everyone who was involved with one or more of these events! It was definitely a crazy few days and I think I might need a “weekend for my weekend.” But unfortunately work does take priority and I was back at it today. I am just glad we made it through all the events semi-successfully!
Now we hope to just chill out for awhile, stay in our “cave” and enjoy doing nothing for awhile… Is that bad?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
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