"So much to learn, so little time"

I just feel so stressed right now. I just came back from meeting Miss Ooi. Yes, that one. The one that is old and single young and sexy. The same Miss Ooi with phenomenal powers - when she opens her mouth, everyone miraculously falls asleep. Anyway, she called me up to talk about my block tests results. And she goes on and on about how I must bulk up for Promos (I would be a dumbass if I haven't realize that). There's one shocking thing is that I didn't know that Augustine got his scholarship revoked by MOE. It's like a reminder for me to seriously study for Promos. Like WTF.

Again, time is not on my side. I used to think 24 hours is too much time, but how silly I was to think like that. Now I'm scrambling for time, trying to fit revisions, consultations, remedials, PW, tutorials, dance, and (hopefully) some personal time into my schedule. This seriously sucks. Period. Time is ticking away too damn fast. At this rate, I don't even know how I can continue living like this till Promos. Life gets so suffocating that I hope I can just go on a holiday for a while, to escape from the hectic schedule.

The funny thing is that, I used to say that I don't have a schedule, but I realize if I don't have a schedule, I would most likely be screwed upside down for Promos. And a scheduled life seems so......... programmed. I feel like a robot, being forced to do things that are against my will. I feel like I'm forced to study. And this feeling sucks.

What can I do? I can only shake my head and say this: "So much to learn, so little time"

Let Dead Dogs Lie

These few days are so damn boring. After the whole blog-flaming incident, it seems like many of the ppl from "the usual gang" became quiet. I guess part of it was my fault for wrongly blaming Yu Wei for the incident, and most of it is because most of the ppl just don't know what to say about the whole incident. When the usual gang becomes quiet, there are no more jokes and no more laughter. It's because of them that school life actually becomes fun. Anyway, I am thankful that the whole incident is over. Again, thanks to the ppl who defended or encouraged me, but I hope that this matter will just fade away into nothingness. I'd rather let dead dogs lie.

Another reason why life's getting boring is because we see geeky cool and funky Dr.Tan for afternoon lessons everyday. He called for make-up lessons for wednesday and thursday afternoon, of one and a half hour each. And I also had a remedial with him yesterday till 4pm. And the last lesson on Monday was his 2-hour tutorial. So basically, we see him till about 4pm from Monday to Thursday. Since I did his tutorial way before hand, I just dao-ed his lesson and do Math tutorial in his class. At least I'm not wasting my time on something I already know.

My life is turning into a routine. Everyday, I go to school, dance after school, then go back to boarding school to continue mugging/doing tutorials. No wonder I love the weekends so much. If I don't study, my Promos will be GGfied. Like seriously.

I am seriouly turning into a mugger. Even Wang Yi and some of my other classmates think I'm turning into a PRC complete mugger. There's not a day that I don't do tutorials or mug for Promos. I feel so insecure about my Promos if I don't mug, and since I don't plan to get my scholarship revoked, I guess I have to stick to this boring life till after Promos. Besides, if I mug during in-between tutorial classes, I would have more time to do other things. You know.......... the thing that most ppl like to do; that hot, sweaty and passionate --

Dance. Of course it's dance. I'm too innocent to think of anything else. xD haha. Today I broked my record for staying in the PE studio the longest. The last record was 3 hours, but I exceeded that record today because I danced for 4 hours straight. Crazy right? Actually, I was about to go off when Edwin came and practised. So we just practised together for one hour plus. Dancing is the only thing that's making my life more bearable. Can't wait to go to OSchool this weekend. I want to go for Daniel's Hip Hop class!

Anyway, I think I should sign off and go back to my boring routine of doing tutorials and mugging. Got lots of work to do.

Till then -- May you become a mugger. Like me =)

Learnt/Unlearnt

Today didn't turn out to be the day that I thought it would be. I thought today to be filled with anger outburst, and it would be an ugly day, but it turns out I was wrong.

First and foremost, I must apologize to Yu Wei. When this whole flaming incident started, I automatically assumed it was him, without really questioning my assumptions. This is the most important lesson that I learnt today - Do not jump into conclusions. After much thought, I realize that he would most likely be the one to flame me on my blog, because he would rather say it straight in my face. I thought he looked kinda sad after reading my blog in the Fish Tank with Yip Yang knowing that I assumed it was him. But I can't help but wonder whether he was really upset over this whole matter. Anyway, I want to apologize for thinking it was him.

Yes, you guessed it right. I found out who was flaming me on blog. If you guys really wanna know, you guys ask me in school when you see me. But I just don't feel like listing that person's name, because that person is most likely flaming me to get a kick out of it. It reminds me of what Alfred said to Bruce Wayne in "The Dark Knight": "Some people aren't looking for anything logical. They just want to see the world burn." Anyway, I think (okay, more like hope) that the person will stop after telling me it was him today.

To the random ppl who were fanning the flames, let me make this clear: I've never said I was good at dancing on my blog. For the whole time, I only talked about my passion for it, and not how good am I at it. However, if you really want to gauge how good/bad I am, feel free to come and battle me at PE studio sometime. If you're good, I'll praise you, and if you're not...... well, we'll see how. I'll be waiting. Oh yeah, and to the arsehole person to said I was not a good person, I'll admit I do piss ppl off at times. But if you do have any balls, stop hiding behind your alias and show me your real name. That's if you have any balls at all.

Through this whole ordeal, I learnt how good my friends really are. Again, I feel fortunate to know the ppl who helped me stood up against the flaming of my blog. Honestly, I was quite touched when I see how angry they were at "Big Popa"'s comment. The ironic part is that I only know some of these ppl for only a few months. Thanks to the ppl whol made me felt better.

I feel better that the ordeal has ended today. Till a better tomorrow.

Knight of Darkness

Check out the tag from “Big Popa” ------------------------->

There are so many things happening in the past 48-hours so I split the post into 3 posts. If you want, you can take a look at the other 2 posts below. But first, let me clear up a matter. Take a look at the tag by the coward who’s calling himself “Big Popa”. My initial reaction was to flame this person (yes, I obviously know who you are), but after watching “Dark Knight”, I decided not to. I refuse to downgrade my morals to your standard, because that is exactly what Joker did to one of the main characters in the movie. I shall elaborate on this later.

I rushed to Shaw Lido and went into the cinema about 1 hour late. Luckily, I didn’t miss a lot of the action, because I was thrust into the middle of it when I reached there. I must give props to the actors in the movie. They were all so good at being their role, especially Batman and Joker. Heath Ledger, the guy who took too much drugs and passed away acted as Joker, was damn freaking good. He made Joker seem like, what Terrance put it, a demented child.

But what I liked the most about the movie is the dialogue and the storyline. The dialogue has so much depth to it that it reads like a Literature text. And the story seems much more mature this time round, compared to the Batman movies of the past. The old Batman movies are like something out of a cartoon, but the new Batman movies are so much more mature and deals with more adult themes.

I like the part where Harvey Dane said: “The night is darkest before the dawn”. That simple analogy was so powerful that nothing more needs to be said about the situation of Gotham City. Sometimes, life gets so tiring and mundane that it seems that there is not much hope, but we tend to forget that things will get worse before it becomes better.

Another thing is that Joker is usually seen as a psychopath, but he is the one that’s good at psychology. I like how he can gauge ppl’s reaction and anticipate them, and also how he can manipulate ppl so easily. Although he is crazy at times, but the things he say does make sense at times. He said: “The world likes structures and systems, no matter how terrible they are. But once a small part of the structure is loose, the whole thing just crumbles down”. He was referring to law enforcers and also corruption within the government.

There’s this scene where there are two ferries on the sea. One ferry is full of criminals and the other is full of civilians. Both of the ferries have tons of explosives on board, and the captain of each ferry is given a detonator – of the other ferry’s explosives. The Joker planned this and said that if no one detonates the other ferry by 12 midnight, he will blow both of the ferries up. Joker was anticipating that one or both of the ships will be detonated, but he seem to forget one thing – within this corrupted world, there are still mankind who are good. I was so touched when the convicts took the detonator from the captain’s hand and threw it out to sea.

Also during that scene, I realized that democracy may not necessarily be a good thing. The civilians in one of the ferries actually took votes whether to detonate the ferry with the convicts. Majority voted for detonation, but luckily no one dared to push the button and take responsibility for what was about to happen. This shows that though democracy is a good system, but what the ppl maybe voting for is not necessarily the “best way” or a good thing. It is quite horrendous that the civilians voted over such a terrifying act, like bombing a ferry. It opened my eyes and made me question the notion of democracy entirely. It made me realize that democracy is not necessarily the best for the society’s welfare, because sometimes the majority of the ppl don’t really know what they are voting for.

Also, what differentiates this Batman movie from the other cheap superhero movies out there is that Batman is not really portrayed as a superhero at all. He is just “a man that fears darkness, and out of his fear, he fights it”. That’s not really a noble reason for being a hero. And Batman also asked the murders done by Harvey to be placed on him, because Harvey has a reputation to uphold, while he “is not hero”. I like the ending scene where he is said to be not a hero, but a silent guardian.

Lastly, the Joker turned Harvey, a noble and just law enforcer, into a vengeance-thirsty villain. I like how the coin that Harvey carries around signified his two-face personality, literally. It is quite unfortunate that even the best and just person around have a much, darker and sinister side. It goes to show that you can’t judge a book by its cover. Which leads me to my next point –

“Big Popa”, you are a coward and a two-faced person. It is very unfortunate that behind your good looks, you hide a hideous nature. In front of me, you act like nothing has happened, but actually, you are pissed because I niao-ed you the other day. And you did not look me straight into the eyes and tell me all that you have typed in the tagboard. Instead, you chose to do flame me on my own blog and did not leave your real name behind. You always acted like you are brave, but I looked pass all that and to find the coward you really are. You have no balls.

Go on, flame me again on my tagboard. This time, leave your real name behind if you dare, which I obviously think you don’t. Though I don’t need you to do that, because I know who you are. You like to niao ppl but you don’t like to get niao-ed at. Treat other ppl the way you want to be treated. You are just like Joker, in the sense that you want me to scream and shout and spout vulgarities at you on my blog. But I don’t play your games and I won’t be degraded to your level. I am very disappointed in you. Your attempts to flame struck me as pathetic.

“An eye for an eye makes the world goes blind”, I remember you’re the one who wrote Gandhi's quote down on the piece on paper. It’s so ironic. There’s so much irony in your tags that it’s soaking wet with it.

By the way, if you say I sucked at dance, well, that’s your opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own, and too bad yours is screwed up. Anyway, I want to see you dance if you’re good at it.

In everyone lies a seed of darkness. It depends on the person whether to let the seed sprout and turn the person into a monster. Conversely, that person can let the seed remain there, untouched. Sometimes, ppl do stuff that is unlike their normal self. The darker emotions in a person can consume the person entirely. But I hope that within the darkness, there is a light that annul the darkness.

We have both light and darkness, in one entity. Because.....we are human after all. What matters is which side you're on.

P.S Thanks to my friends who defended me. I'm really grateful for you guys. Props to you guys!

The Last Class

Yesterday was also a good day for me, in general. It was the last Hip Hop II lesson and it was quite fun. The class started ONE HOUR LATE, but I ain’t complaining because I finally get to talked to Wang Yi properly since THAT incident. The saddest part is that I finally know what some of the ppl in my class is thinking, which is quite ugly.

The Hip Hop class was fun because we get to improved our formation and also get our formation video-ed in front of the whole class. I was happy that Hip Hop II was ending so that I can move on to HH III. We also took a picture after class with Daniel (our instructor).

After the lesson, we ended up talking with Daniel for quite a long time. He taught us some locking moves and also talked about his past. Apparently, he started dancing 8 years ago, and he started by imitating moves from videos and attending dance classes (sounds kinda familiar?). Then he went on to explore many different genres (including ballet!!!) and he formed his own crew. After a period of time, he improved a lot and he got invited to join O Crew and teach Hip Hop (hence the name OSchool). He said that if we need any help in our choreo or formation, we can approach him for help, which is good news because I was thinking of that too.

Oh ya, and OSchool Recital auditions registration was officially opened. I signed up for Hip Hop, Lyrical Hip Hop, and Bboy. Yes, I know I’m not good in bboying yet, but I guess there’s no harm trying. And I also haven’t tried Lyrical Hip Hop before, but I feel like trying out for it. The auditions are set to be on the 17^th of August, one day after the start of Hip Hop III. I am moving on with Hip Hop III and Popping I this coming term.

Talking with Daniel was very inspiring. He encouraged us to form our own crew. He said that O Crew was made up of ppl who are good in their own genres, so that they can learn from each other, which was exactly what I visioned my crew to be. Standing there, with Nik, Diana, Ie-Ching, Bryan and Hui Xian, talking with Daniel, I can sense that everyone is inspired by him and everyone was thinking about forming their crew. I wonder whether we can be a crew eventually…… By the time we were done talking, it was already close to 8 p.m (!!!), and I was supposed to watch “Dark Knight” with the other Malaysian Scholars at 7.30 p.m.

To be continued in the post above.....

48-Hours Ago….

Was a Friday. Since Friday was declared a half day, I was feeling kind of excited throughout the day. The weather was misty and cooling, which made me feel even happier on that day. I knew Friday was going to be jam-packed day, with KFC (Knockout Fac Comm) and going to PE studio after school, and also Temasek Poly Dance Ensemble’s (TPDE) dance night in the evening. I gotta give a round of applause to the Athena Fac Comm for organizing such a fun event. KFC was fun with innovative games and also free food that was given out. In fact, I think KFC was better than Apollo’s fac event. Now I know why Jia Yun was so excited about the whole KFC event. If the Athena Fac Comm continues to be this good, I bet the whole Athena will like their fac more.

After getting like 6 hotdogs and a whole lot of ice-cream the KFC, I went to PE studio to train as usual. A lot of ppl dropped by and danced too, like Terrance, Andre, Teck Kian, Chuan Khim, Pao Pao and Hui Hua. My respect for Hui Hua just increased by a lot when I saw him doing his isolations. I gotta give him credit for that. After practising for like 3 hours, I left the PE studio around 5pm.

Temasek Poly is located at Tampines, and the problem was I didn’t know Tampines was like 1.5 hours away from school. Supposedly, I was meeting Diana, Nik and their friends at the MRT at 6.15, but I only reached there around 15 minutes later. I got to know Erika and Wei Jie through Diana and Nik.

We sat at on the front row and got to watch the whole dance night up close. As we were waiting for the show to start, we spent our time cam-whoring chatting.

The show started at 7.30 pm. The emcees were great! The whole crowd was cheering and shouting even before the opening. The emcees really knew how to hype up the crowd, unlike the ones during HCI dance night. From the start, the performances were great. And ALL OF THEIR PERFORMANCES are linked to each other through a storyline. Their dance night really pawns HCI’s. Their choreo is like so imba and I seriously think their standard is much better. I wonder whether our J1 batch of M.A.D ppl can match up to their standards. I hope they do.

You guys can check out the pics on Diana's blog, coz I'm too lazy to post it up here. Bleh. :P

Dance: My Origin and Future

Today is definitely one of the more fruitful days for me. Last night, my PW seemed like it was in a mess. My group knew all along we had the right ingredients to create that "bang!", but we didn't know how to go about doing it. Luckily we told Mr Shyam about our situation and he made it become much more clearer. Now my PW is back on track again. =)

Not only my PW was fruitful, my dancing too. I went to the PE studio to practise for like 2 and a half hours; something I didn't have the luxury of doing for a period of time. The Taiwan Immer Programme ppl were kind enough to let me blast my music and use the studio while they were practising their own Indian dances (yes, I know what you are thinking. Indian dance for TIP. Heh).

While practising today, I can sense the improvement in myself. Like how I hold my chair- freeze (it's a b-boy move for those not well-versed in dance) longer than the last time; or how my salsa (another b-boy move, not the real salsa dance) improved;or how I can balance better while doing footwork. Basically, like alot of things in life, it takes awhile before you can finally see the improvement. I feel so happy that I have improved since my last proper session in the PE studio, which was last Thursday. I have been learning b-boying for around 2 months (ever since Change concert), and all the things are finally starting to piece together today, while I was practising.

Dancing is not a de-stressing method. It's not an interest interest or a hobby either. It's much more than that. It's my life and passion. Yes, I know some of the ppl out there are sick and tired of hearing me talking about dance, but how can I not, when dancing is on my mind 80% of the time when I am not studying? I bet many dancers experience the same thing too. They will be thinking of that nice move, or they will fantasize about doing power moves, or perhaps thinking about their next dance session/class. Some, like me, are probably thinking about forming a dance crew. It's inevitable.

My mum (yes, that same one who always typed long messages on my tagboard. The same one who didn't know that you can leave a comment by clicking the comment button below this post) was also a dancer when during her schooling times. I probably got all my musical talents from her, since my dad cannot sing the Alphabet Song without going off-tune. The bottom line is -- dancing is in my blood.

Even my younger brother who is less musically talented than me has picked up a form of dancing called "shuffling", which is immensely popular in Malaysia but is thrown out of existence in Singapore. For those who doesn't know, shuffling is basically like gliding just that it's kind of retarded and meaningless. I tried persuading him to go into hip-hop or bboying, which he say he will consider. All the best to him then.

While he is busy persuing his own dance style, I decided to dabble in Hip-hop and B-boy. Popping and locking will be up next. I really love OSchool, which in turn makes me love Saturdays too. The instructors there are pretty good and the ppl there are friendly too. Not to mention, the dance standard there is better. I can't wait to go for OSchool Recital at the end of year (yes, I've said it many times. Bear with me). After that, me and my OSchool peeps will team up and form our own dance crew. Can't wait for that!

Anyway, I feel happy now because tomorrow is half day! Yay! Meaning my lessons end much much earlier than usual (which is 4pm on Fridays). Saturday is coming too! Woo hoo!

So what's this post about? It's about the passion of a dancer. It's my family's history of dancing. It's my future of dancing. But above all, it's about me, dance, and our intimate relationship together.

At-Risk Youths

As expected, today proved to be a very tiring day. Luckily I ponned school yesterday, if not I dunno how I would have lasted the day.

Classes ended at 1.30p.m today. After 3 days of not practicing dance (which also happened last week. History has its way of repeating itself, doesn't it?), I happily headed to the PE studio...... to find a bunch of ppl from (I think) Health and Fitness Club which is a total joke hogging the PE studio. Ironically, the ppl there were not doing anything healthy or fit, they were mugging and playing PSP instead. I found myself going to the area outside LT5 (the highest floor) to practise dance.

Around 4, I proceed to canteen to find Glenn, Wilson, and Terrance eating. It's been a long time since I last talked to them. Then I met up with Valerie and JunKang Brendan, and made our way to Ang Mo Kio. We reached AMK Hub and met William, then making our way to the street soccer court where we were supposed to meet the "at-risk youths". We were finding our way to the street soccer court when William suggested we walk diagonally so that we can cover more ground, but that plan was abandoned when we reached a railing and a steep slope going downhill.

We found the street soccer court and met Kris and the youths that she was working with. They were all either Malays or Indian, and they were mostly teenagers. So these were the kids termed "at-risk youths". When we got there, we totally got a culture shock. We arrived there expecting them to be silent while we are being chatty. In an ironic twist of fate, we were the ones being quiet while they are being friendly and accomodating.

After the soccer session, we had dinner with the youths and the other social workers. In an attempt to woo them, we bought them a big plate of rojak which they proceeded to gobble down within a flash of a moment.

After dinner, we made way to the tuition centre to give tuition. But the group we met at the tuition were mostly pimary school kids, which are totally irrelevant to our PW. We expected to find teenagers at the tuition, so that we can get them to participate in our mini-trial, but apparently that plan got derailed. Sigh. Though the tuition is now meaningless, we have promised the organization that we will continue this for 6 months. Our only hope now is to get the soccer youths to participate in our mini-trial, which might or might not work out.

After the tuition, we all went back home. I am feeling damn tired now. I really cannot imagine doing this for the coming 6 months. Basically our Wednesdays are gone. Forever. I didn't even have time to do any work. PW is getting harder and time-consuming.

It's eleven plus. I think I shall go rest now. Nitez

Silence

I didn't go to school today. I wasn't exactly sick but I chose to not go to school. It's been stressing lately and yesterday kinda pushed me over the edge so I decided to pon school today.

I need the break and silence away from the hectic school life. I am a person who value silence. I once did a personality test and I was surprised at how accurate it was -- it said my strength was my inner calm. Because of my calmness, I usually can organize things well and put things into perspective. Not to mention, I think best when I have my calm composure. My inner self was feeling unbalanced lately and I feel that today was a good break to regain my calmness.

I slept like till 12 pm before I went to grab a bite. Though it was supposed to be a rest day, I actually took the time to finish my part of the Written Report, which is chapter 1 and 2. I feel damn relieved to get it cleared so that I can focus on other things.

I spent the rest of the afternoon stalking other ppl's blogwatching dance videos. Oh, and I found out that Kaba Modern is actually a CCA group, so it's something like MAD. Just 10 times more imba. Kaba Modern is a CCA at UCI (University of California), so they have yearly auditions and stuff. I always thought they were a street dance crew, since the Kaba Modern on America's Best Dance Crew only had 6 ppl. I like watching their dance videos and I am constantly amazed by their choreography. I also took time to watch my other favourite group, Jabbawockeez. I think I am starting to appreciate Jabbawockeez's style. =)

Tomorrow is definitely going to be a long day, with school, dance practise, and also Project Work, which will last till 9pm at least. Tomorrow will be a tiring day and I need all the energy I can get. But I also feel kinda restless because I haven't practise any dance for 3 days (counting today), so I look forward to tomorrow.

For now, I think I better start on studying for Promos, since I have the time. Tomorrow, thou shall return to unsilent living -- thereforth thy silence shall be broken.

P.S. I should have taken Literature. Heh. xD

Trust

Today has been a rather moody day for me, which is quite rare since I rarely get moody over...... err... well, anything at all. I usually don't get moody over stuff and I am quite surprised at myself over how moody I am today.

Basically my whole day was ruined due to someone. If you're reading this (which I am fairly certain you will), I want you to know that you have pissed me off badly during school. Like seriously. The thing I told you was supposed to be kept between us but you gotta get your mouth get the better of you. Then, there's also another issue that I told you that like bloody 5 months ago. I can't believe you spilled the beans to those ppl like only a few days ago while the matter has passed so long ago. When I heard that you're the one who told them, I meant what I said when I wanna bash you up real bad. Big time. I wanna chop your balls off and send them to some India longkang, probably through Fedex.

But after the initial burst of rage subsided, I felt kind of bitter. I realized you have broken my trust again. And I don't even know what or how much you have told them. And to think that I have kept your secrets while I expected you to keep mine. Then you go and backstabbed me like that. I realized that my initial reaction was unfounded: my first reaction should not have been a burst of anger and violence, it should have been the shaking of my head in disappointment. You read it right, disappointment. I trusted you and you have disappointed me by losing my trust. I wonder what else you have done. Not long from now, I bet the whole class will start speculating, thanks to you.

Trust is essential in a relationship, be it between friends, couples, or even classmates. Without trust, any kind of relationship will break down. On a side note, I realized today the importance of what Ie-Ching said -- a dance crew should be made up of ppl we trust. Today was a lesson -- about how ppl cannot be trusted easily. It takes a lifetime for trust to be built, but it only takes a second to destroy whatever trust there was.

I will make sure the same thing will not happen again. I don't think I will ever be that foolish again to confide in a classmate. Like seriously. Ironically, the first song that I listened to when I switched on my PSP was "Apologize" by One Republic.

I think I will treat this whole ordeal as a lesson, and I shall therefore not succumb to the same mistake again. I will remember to choose my subsequent project group mates more carefully, and also my dance crew.

On a lighter note, I finished compiling the PW interview and I watched "So You Think You Can Dance" just now. I saw this hip hop routine which was totally fresh and dope. It has waves, isolation, tutting, and clapping. Yes, the simple motion of clapping. It's simple yet elegant. I think I can include it in my dancing next time. Very cool.

Anyway, a new school week has just started and I am already feeling tired from school. What happened today didn't help to lighten it either. Still, I look forward to tomorrow -- till a better day.

Planned Stress

As I'm typing this, I'm watching "Ah Long Private Limited" at my relative's house. Sometimes, I would meet up with my relatives for a dinner and maybe watch movies/tv shows afterthat. It's some form of escape from the lousy boarding school foodbusy school life. And it's also some rare family warmth in this not-so-foreign country.

Today is basically a rare resting day. I spent most of the day slacking. But I did something I've never done before -- I planned my schedule 3 months in advance! You read it right, 3 months. Yesterday's PW meeting/interview made me realize that if I don't manage my time properly, I would most likely have no time to myself at all. 9 more weeks left to Promos and after looking through the pile of notes, it's really not a long time. The amount of depth to be covered for each subject is just crazy. Case in point, I need to study almost 20 topics for my Geography, with Human and Physical Geog combined.

I took close to 2 hours trying to place everything that's going on in my life into perspective. There's PW (which includes Written Report and mini-trial), dancing lessons at OSchool (which I'm taking Hip Hop 3 and Popping 1 course the next round), self dance prac, remedials, tutorials, and revision for Promos. The more I look at my schedule, the more I realized what I said yesterday was right -- more work and no play. This is freaking crazy. After looking through all the subjects, I also find that I need to make time for consultations for some of the topics.

I can't believe that Promos is 9 weeks away and I already feel stressed. How I wish I can just scream all my stress or frustration away. And the bulk of the stress stems from the fact that MOE wants all Malaysian Scholars to obtain an average of C for all subjects, which is like fucking crazy. Even most of the PRCs can't do this la, and this is after considering they locked themselves in their rooms and mug their life away study most of the time. This is MOE's evil plan to turn non-PRCs into PRCs. And gosh they are suceeding. I think my stress will only increase as Promos drawing nearer.

With all these stress, it's hard not to be emo (it's short for being emotional/depressed for those not-so-updated ppl). I want to be my happy and carefree self, but this is close to impossible. The only things that make me happy is dancing, singing, and playing. Even then, I will have lesser time doing all these. T.T

But I know I'm not the only person going through all these. I know I'm not alone. I won't give up. Because within this dark abyss, I can see a shining glimmer. I want to reach for it and get out of this darkness as soon as possible. I know I can do it, and I hope everyone can too.

P.S Thanks to my cousin Connie for the ride back to the boarding school.

Freedom

Today has been a long day, so if you're reading this, expect it to be long.

Today started with a PW interview with a social worker at Bukit Ho Swee Social Centre (she wants to remain anonymous due to certain reasons). What was supposed to be a normal interview would be a commitment to the social centre in the end. We met her around 1pm and she brought along 2 youths that she is working with.

When I saw the 2 youths, which are both 14 year-olds, I can see that behind their eyes, lie a cautious mask that betrayed their innocent appearances. I bet the 2 kids must have experienced some events in their life that robbed them of their child-like innocence, and such is the cause of some juvenile delinquents. I don't think they are juvenile delinquents, but more of at-risk youths, as the social worker puts it. It made me realize the "clean and green" Singapore actually has some not-so-clean flaws.

The social worker was kind enough to let us interview her even though she doesn't know much about our project. We spent some time explaining to her the project and how it is based on the Freedom Writers. For those who doesn't know, Freedom Writers are a group of at-risk youths who managed to change their lives through diary writing. Yes, diary writing. This simple act made them reflect about their lives and made them realize the world around them. And this is what we plan to emulate.

She said our project is quite feasible, but we need to get to know the youths first before engaging them in this project. I can tell you this will not be an easy task. She said that some of them are not that open, and some of them are not good at expressing themselves. But first, we need to befriend them, which will take time, which in turn is what we don't have much. And she say that if we do this, we must commit at least 6 months. I think this is perfectly ok -- except for the fact that Promos is near and OSchool recital is at end of year.

After she left, my PW group took time to lay out our schedule for the coming weeks. As I was counting the weeks left to Promos, I realized how much things I need to study and revise. I need to juggle dance, work, play. At this rate, play will be replaced by more work. I got so stressed out by the fact that I need to get an average of C for Promos, lest my scholarship will be taken away. This sucks like shit. The promotional requirement was only 2 passes, but the MOE wants scholars to get an average of C, which is not easy in JC. If you get average of C, you are already considered above average in my school. I can't wait for Promos to end so that I can break free of this misery. After we created the schedule, I left for my hip hop lesson at OSchool.

Today's lesson was just putting together the formation for our dance group. I got to say that what me and Wang Yi came up with actually worked. Our instructor, Daniel, came over and gave us more ideas which improved our formation. I think our formation could have been better if Vivian could actually follow the dance. And some ppl are just lazy to think of formations.

If Vivian could actually follow the steps properly, I would have opt for a more challenging formation. Too bad she can't. So we need to stick to the easier formation, which admittedly, not that nice. But at least most of the ppl in my group can dance well, and we got praised for being synchronized, which I don't really think it is. Must be all the Kaba Modern and Jabbawockeez videos I have watched made me feel that way. I also cannot stand Yan Wei in my group. He's freaking irritating but he doesn't do much. How I wished I was not in this group. I can picture a group with Freddie, Bryan, Diana, Nik, Ie-Ching, Me, Hui Xian, and Wang Yi. I bet we can own the class. Haha.

I had dinner with Nik after class. We were talking about dance and school life, and how stressed up school life is. Again, we were talking about forming a crew. When I asked him whether he would join, he straight away answered yes. I didn't expect him to say so. In fact I didn't expect that so many ppl would be interested in forming a crew with me. I just casually mentioned the possibility through word of mouth and this blog, and i expect a hard time getting ppl. But apparently, it's the exact opposite. I feel happy to have ppl who are willing to form a crew with me. In fact, I am already in one, but I think I am going to quit if I can form my own crew.

But as Ie-Ching pointed out, we don't know each other that well yet to be forming a crew, so we should wait till after the OSchool Recital first before we really teamed up. A crew is supposed to be made up of ppl that are comfortable with one another. And so wait we shall. But I have high hopes for forming my own crew. I picture it to be forming somewhere EOY when the Recital is over.

With tons of tons of topics to be covered, dancing, PW project, Written Report, and remedial, things are set to be hectic in the following weeks. Everyone is hoping for freedom to come, so that we can be our happy selves. I know, because, we all are.

Stay Strong

Today was fun and tiring. Yes, I went to PE studio again today, but this time, I stayed there for like close to 3 and a half hours. Me and Tze Young were supposed to be there alone. Supposed, anyway. Apparently, the Tapestry ppl were using the PE studio to practise, but they were kind enough to let us stay and practise dance.

Not long after, more and more of the bboys came to the PE studio to practise. And I officially get to know Andre, Anzai, and Jon Neo. Today's practise was ok, though I hoped it could have been more fruitful. When 30-40+ ppl is dancing in the same studio, it's hard to get a mirror space and concentrate. Ah well, at least I learned how to do chair freeze and salsa properly, but they are far from perfect. Oh ya, I am quite impressed by Hui Hua's choreo, and I really really really like the song he used. It was done by Kaba Modern, my favourite dance group, and it was filled with gun-shots and hard-hitting beats - I like ;). Today's session made me realize that alot of ppl have improved, including me, and this will be my motivation to practise hard.

Anyway, there's another thing that happened today that I swear I must blog. Someone almost lost my PSP today. Since I didn't see it for the whole day, I assumed I left it in my room. How wrong was I to assume that. Apparently, this retarded person took my PSP when I was out of class. And then something went freaking wrong with his brainhe left my PSP under the desk and walked out of the classroom. If I hadn't realized I lost my PSP, I would have really lost it. Everyone, give a round of applause to Wang Yi.

I cannot imagine losing my PSP. If it was really lost, I would have to take a large chunk of money from him and Jesslyn's marriage fund (jk, jk) his allowance. On the other hand, he was so sorry that he waived the debt of around 7 bucks that I owe him. But I hope this will never happen again. I totally panicked when I realized my PSP was lost.

Moving on, I recently have the motivation to complete my homework. I actually did Econs Tutorial 15. Maybe I should start on Chem Equillirium Tutorial next. And weekend is around the corner, and that means more dance, dance, dance! Yay! OSchool on Saturday and SMU session on Sunday. And also PW interviews on Saturday too. It's going to be a busy weekend.

Before I go, I just heard that Diana's grandfather passed away this afternoon. It was kind of sudden. Diana, if you're reading this, remember that you can approach me for comforting or if you just need to talk, you can look for me. I will be here if you need me. I dunno what to say to you, other than to stay as a strong girl.

Soon, it will pass. Trust me.

Rollercoaster Ride

Today is like an emotional rollercoaster ride. I got back my Econs block tests paper and also half of my GP paper. Tentatively, my string of grades read "DUUSS". I was totally right about my block tests man. It's totally fucked f***ed up (actually there's no point in trying to conceal the word, coz it's exactly what I'm feeling now. Anyway, I am entitled to freedom of speech). I feel damn devastated by my results. 9 more weeks left to Promos and I think I seriously need to start to brush up on my weaker subjects.

On the bright side, my Project Work (PW) is turning for the better. After trying like what seem like countless (no, seriously) tries to approach an organization, we finally got 2 meetings and interviews with 2 separate organizations! After so many emails and phone calls, 2 organization agreed to meet up with us for an interview! Just yesterday, all hope seem lost. Apparently, last night Jun Kang also spam emails to quite many organizations. I feel happy to have finally found ppl who are interested in our project. It seems that my whole Saturday will be set aside for meetings, interviews, and dance.

That's the reason why I feel both sad and happy today. This bittersweet feeling.......... a tinge of happiness among the sea of sorrow, it's quite weird. Funny how one can experience 2 extreme feelings at the same time.

To shake off the depression frustration, I went to PE studio with......err...... well, no one in particular. I was supposed to meet up with Tze Young, but because or stupid Mr.Tan smart and ever-the-genius Dr.Tan, he was forced to go for the stupid judo competition. Apparently, Dr. Tan accompanied Tze Young's class to send them up the bus. This act of stupidity kindness caused Tze Young to be forcefully sent away to support the judo ppl, and was also received in kindness when Tze Young sms-ed me, "Fuck it la...Mr. Tan force us to go...he send us off...".

Anyway, when I was at the PE studio, Jia Han and Andre came along. Then Anthony arrived too. After they was about to leave, freaking horny and pervertedWang Yi also came. We finally finished the formation for the hip hop class, but I wonder whether our group will make any mistakes. The formation we came up with was rather complicated. Anyway, this is another reason I should feel happy about. Oh ya, after not dancing for 3 days, I lost abit of my form. But luckily I managed to regain it after dancing for a while.

I think I shall go off to have dinner and then finish Math Tutorial 10a. I actually started on it. Kinda impressed by myself. Haha.

Till then -- Ciao.

Adrenaline

IMO, today was another unproductive day, in terms of dance. Haven't dance in 3 days and I feel damn restless. Recently, the PE studio is being used for some Taiwan Immersion Programme thingy and they are practising some kind of fac dance remix. Otherwise, the PE studio is being used by the MAD ppl for Tapestry (which is also doing fac dances). I wonder whether I would have the chance to use the PE studio at all. With formation to choreo, and also some techniques to practise, I feel damn uncomfortable with the fact that I haven't practise at all for 3 days. Argh. So frustrating.

On the other hand, this means that I have more time and energy to do my almost unending pile of tutorials. My string of grades now read, "STD" i mean, "SSD". Though I know there are ppl who got much worse than me, I feel damn frustrated with myself because I actually spent time to prepare for blocks. I know I can do better. Anyway, today's Chem Remedial was quite useful. Though I know most of the things Mr. Tan is crapping Dr. Tan is teaching, it helps to refresh my memory of the basics.

After the Chem Remedial, I actually have the adrenaline rush to complete my tutorials, which is simply amazing. I have never felt so pumped up about completing my work since like the start end of last term, I think. I shall start doing Math Tutorial 10a later (I hope).

I feel kinda relieved this week is not as hectic as the last. Last week was totally crazy. I rather have block tests all over again than sleeping at 2am every night and then go to school like a zombie. And tomorrow is some retarded fucking judo competition that we need to go to support. Might as well have normal lessons, because at least the day ends earlier, not at 5.30pm after the fucking competition.

Shall sign off now.

Far

Finally, I have finished the Econs ILP essay that I have put off for days. I'm glad the hectic week is over and I can get back to doing normal tutorials now. I hope this coming week won't be so streesful so I can just be my happy self.

I just finished my dinner. Today's dinner was probably one of the most funniest one that I had in a long time. As usual, me and the other Malaysian Scholars sat together and eat our dinner. We started talking about our Sec 1 and 2 days. The funny moments, the not-so-funny ones, and everything in-between. We talked about the time Janey Sim scolded Tze Young and asked him to spell "shame", to which he replied "S.H.A.M.E". We talked about the time Xiao Ming was caned in front of our class. We talked about how Coffin Tan(Chen Guan Cai) read aloud Cao Yue's "FUHXM" note.

The conversation was so funny and we reminiscenced about the days that we were so bonded as a class. We were talking and laughing so loud that people were turning their heads to look, but we didn't care. I really miss my 1G/2G class. It was probably one of the best class that I was in, along with Primary 6K. 3Q/4Q was out of the question. I still remember 2G won the best class award during the Sec 2 camp.

Everytime I look back at the fun times we've had, I wonder what my current class 08S6E will become. I think the guy-gal segregation in my class is widening. The gals just don't wanna talk to the guys and the guys don't talk to the girls. And some of the guys (no, no, I'm not looking at you, Hao Cheng, Yu Wei, Bing Yeow and William) just refused to turn up for class outings. Some of the gals just give up on the class entirely. The other ppl are just concerned about spending their time with their "one and only love" (it sounds corny now, doesn't it?). I just hope that ppl will give this class a chance and maybe (i'm being optimistic here) we can become bonded. It's improbable, but it's not impossible.

All this talking about my old class made me realized how far I've come since I first stepped foot in Singapore. Last time, I was this chubby kid obssessed with computer games and Pokemon cards. 4 and a half years later, here I am, more matured, with raging hormones, studying in HCJC, dancing away, and having the time of my life.

Also, it reminds me of how far we've come, as Malaysian Scholars, to this stage. We started off with high-pitched voices, and in the same class. Now we've split up into different classes, in the same JC, each having their own time of their lives. Some changed for the better, and some just became worse (hey S.O.B, i wasn't talking about you =P). What matters is how far we've come.

So here I am, a changed man (pun unintended). One and half years to go before high school life is over. Another one and a half years that I look forward to, with OSchool Recital, possibly forming a dance crew, dancing at PE studio, maybe joining MAD (it's been on my mind since Tze Young asked me about it), improving my skills, making new friends, maintaining old ones, and just having fun.

So guys, when you're on the verge of giving up, or when everything seems to crumble down around you, remember how far you've come to your now, and find the strength to go on. You're not alone, because we're all moving forward.

Saturdays

I REALLY LOVE SATURDAYS! Like seriously! Jus came back from dinner with Ie-Ching and Shino at Plaza Sinagpura. I think Saturday is the only day in the week that I can rest up properly and do not need to drag myself out of the bed. Why the fuck does school starts early in Singapore? Do they know that American schools start their lessons at 9am? And there's no such propoganda-ish things like flag raising. They say it's to instill a sense of belonging to Singapore, but in reality, it's not working. You don't go around instilling a sense of belonging by forcing people out of bed early. And look at the number of ppl rushing to leave Singapore.

Anyway, the hip hop lesson today was awesome! The moves are getting faster and harder, but it's worth it. And we learned formations today! Basically we are split into groups of 6 or 7 ppl and are given time to come up with a formation. My group has 6 ppl, including Lao Wang. I think the dance standard of our group is quite good, except for one person. Pardon my lack of experience, but I have enough to be sure that she's not clean when it comes to dancing. She really needs to brush up. And my group's formation is kinda screwed up.

Since I'm like the pseudo-leader of the group, I think I better think of a good formation over the next week. This is like a test of my creativity, and I accept it. I'm sure I can think of something to wow the class, provided my group won't screw up. I'm quite excited for the next lesson!

Anyway, dinner with Ie-Ching and Shino was kinda thought provoking. Ie-Ching raised a point that I find quite true. She said that she envy her friends who are in a dance club or a crew, because her friends look so bonded and she herself needs to pay to dance. I bet she has no idea that's kinda what I felt too. But I think I'm lucky in that there's a PE studio for me to dance everyday in school while Ie-Ching has work. Not to mention, I met many dancing friends while I was at the PE studio. Anyway, paying to go for hip hop lesson is not that bad, since Daniel is a pretty good instructor.

I never regret going to OSchool, and I think I never will.

Dancing is not what I do -- it's what I am.

Blind

Phew! This school week is finally over. Finally have time to rest proper. It's been a crazy week man, with ILP, Chem Clock and EOM. Thank god there's it's been raining in the morning for the apst few days. If not, I dunno how many demerit points I would have gained from coming late. Went to PE studio just now. Yay! Tomorrow there's lesson at OSchool! Whoo!

It seems to me that these few weeks have been rather hectic, and it's just getting more and more hectic each week. Every week, there'll be some things to complete by the end of the week, and I would feel so stressed by the things undone. Then the weekends come and I feel relaxed again. Then the cycle repeats itself, with more things to do each week. More tutorials, more tests, more projects.

And it doesn't help that the teachers keep telling us that we have x week left to Promos (where x is the freaking number of weeks left to Promos), like we can't count for ourselves or somthing. HEEELLLLOOO, GET OFF MY BACK! I know there's only 10 fucking weeks to Promos, but that doesn't mean we must do revision ALL the time. What am I? A PRC? I have a life, you know. Oops, sorry for insulting you guys, PRCs. (Pls sense my sarcasm, I can't tone down my English further)

Anyway, I think today's GP lesson is rather thought-provoking. Mr Shyam showed us the movie "Dead Man Walking". IMO, it's a darn good show. The movie deals with issues such as life sentences, death sentence, and also forgiveness. I like how the director pieced the movie in a way that makes us question our moral gray areas. Before the criminal, Matthew Poncelet, is about to receive his lethal injection, he told the victim's parents this:

"I think killing is a wrong thing, no matter who does it. Me, other people, our government. It's not right. I just hope that my death can bring you some relief in your heart."

It's true. If someone killed another person, does that mean we can kill the murderer? That would make us murderers too. So the government is like a manslaughter house, and we should all go kill the goevernment officers too eh? And in the end, the victim's parents still have hatred and anger in them. In the last scene, the conversation goes like this:

Nun: "Let us help each other find forgiveness and relief"
Victim's parent: "No, I can't do that. I still have hatred for him."

The punishment of death sentence didn't even bring relief for the victim's parents. In fact, it only brought misery to the criminal's family members. If the death sentence does not change anything, then what's the point in that? It only brought more sadness and misery.

"An eye for an eye makes the world goes blind"-Gandhi

How true, Gandhi, how true..... The justice system stems from the notion of vengeance. We want to punish criminals by doing the same thing to them, and that's the law. It's ironic how justice, a noble and morally high system, actually takes it roots from vengeance, a selfish and rage-filled emotion. Like Mr Shyam said -- isn't there something intrisically wrong with that? I think we have no fucking right to take away other people's life. Fancy calling yourself living in a civillized society.

So tell me -- What's wrong with this world?

Fatigue

Haven't updated in 3 days. Been busy doing Chem Clock, ILP and stuff. I am finally glad that I have finished doing those man. They are like a freaking pain in the ass, especially when you're the one staying up till 2 am to edit and finalise those stuff. Been sleeping at around 2 am for the past 3 days. Totally didn't want to go to school today. I reached school at 8 plus because I didn't want to go for the PW lecture. HCI ppl, stop gaping at the computer! 8 am only. Could have been later. Haha =)

I should totally considering being a psychic man. Before blocks, I remember saying I would get fucked for blocks, but the funny thing is I dunno how right I am in saying that. After block tests, I thought that maybe I didn't do that badly for blocks afterall, right? Wrong! I got D for math and S for Chem. I thought I would do better, then I look at the paper and realize that I got fucking lot of careless mistakes. Shit! Turns out what I predicted was right -- I got fucked for blocks. I wonder what my parents would think when they hear this. They are probably 600km away in KL having dinner with my younger brother now. I must start revising for Promos soon, if not I sure get fucked again.

Anyway, I'm glad I went to school today. Went to PE studio with Tse Young and Jin Xiang. I think Jin Xiang can make a good freezer since he has a nice body build and he has the strength anyway. But he needs to work on his toprock man. His footwork is ok I guess. I'm like the totally opposite of him. I need to work on my freezes and footwork, which is worse than my toprock. I'm happy I finally pinned my shimmy down. Need to work on salsa next.

BTW, Wang Yi needs to practise the Hip Hop routine. Like seriously. His moves are not sharp enough and he goes off beat at times. The good thing is that he remembers his routine and his hand wave is getting better. That reminds me. I also need to polish up some steps too. Probably gonna do it tomorrow.

And I just found out that my mum reads my blog too! *waves at her* Hi mum! xD. I'm (not that) sorry for the vulgarities I use because this is my blog anyway. Anyway, who can say that their mum reads their blog too? (no, other than you, Shen Hong) Oh ya, and Dad too! *waves at him* I knew something was amiss when my dad called me in school and say "how are you doing late? been watching movies?".

I guess I shall stop here for now. I think I'm suffering from fatigue and I need to get some rest before this weekend. Got OSchool lessons. Till then -- hope you may not get fucked for Promos!

The Strangers

OG outing today was quite ok, i guess. We were expecting 10 ppl today but in the end, 4 of them could not make it. Ah well. Anyway, Charlene, Zhi Yang, Jun Xin, Bryan and me went to Cathay to watch "The Strangers". Teck Yuke joined in after the movie.

The Strangers is a freaking sick show. Like seriously. It's not like Saw, in fact, it is much scarier than Saw. The movie is loosely based on a true event, and that makes this movie even more chilling. It's about this couple, James and Kristen, who went to an isolated summer house and hot violently murdered. The summer house was supposed to be a honeymoon house since it was nicely decorated with rose petals, furniture, and even champange to top it off. But Kristen, the lead female character, rejected Jame's proposal. So they reached the summer house in a bitter mood.

Not long after their arrival, weird things started happening. Like the gramophone started playing suddenly or the someone was playing the piano keys. Then the couple realized they are not alone is the supposedly isolated area. They got chased around by the "strangers" with the mask and in the end, they got caught and were murdered in cold blood. The worst part is that the killers did it with no apparent reason other than it's fun and they got away with it.

The whole movie have damn lot of scary moments. Like the part where the killer was behind Kristen the whole time without Kristen noticing. Most of us were like totally freaked out by the movie, especially Charlene, who covered her head with her jacket. Haha. xD

But after the movie, I was damn freaking pissed that the killers got away. Now I understand why some ppl muder murderers for revenge, coz it's exactly what I felt like doing too. I want to see justice served on the killers. At that moment, I even felt like catching them and torturing them like how they tortured the poor couple.

Moving on, I still got damn lot of things to do later but I'm altready worn out. Fuck. Got ILP to do. Sian. And tomorrow is a schooling day. Even more sian. Also got Chemical Clock proposal to do tomorrow. I hope that this week will pass quickly. Because handling multiple projects at the same time is a monster.

Till then -- don't talk to strangers, lest you got murdered by one.

Moment of Peace

I haven't felt so fully rested till today. Woke up around 12pm! Anyway, I'm glad I finished my EOM today. Next are the ILP and Chemical Clock. I seriously think ILP is screwed cause the meeting is cancelled today and we must finish it by Wednesday, which is impossible since I'm not free tomorrow and Tuesday there's school till late afternoon.

Serious stuff aside, I am looking forward to the OG outing tomorrow! It's been a long time since our OG have gathered together and just hang out with each other. With everyone busy with their own commitments, having an OG outing amidst these busy times is a rare sight. I love my OG very much because I can proudly say that my OG is one of the most bonded OG ever! It's been 6 months and we're still hanging out with each other while the other OG have disappeared into nonexistence. Too bad Pei Wen could not make it tomorrow. Still, love you guys! OG07 forever!

Spent the whole day hanging out with Tze Young in my room watching videos, eating pizzas, doing EoM and playing PSP. Finished God of War on my PSP too! Finally! Can start on other games.

Well, must rest up for tomorrow. Till then -- chill.

Inspired

I watched Inspire'08 last night. Actually, I think the concert was rather okay but there are like way too many technical errors. In the end, the performers suffer because of the technical incompetence. There's this band called "Stella Story" and there guys in there are like damn cool. The 3 guitarists are freaking cool with thier hairstyles and everything, and the singer is also not bad. But most of the time, we cannot hear what the singer is singing because the instruments were too loud.

But I think the Funk Faction Crew (FFC) have the coolest performance today la. As Pao Pao puts in his blog, their popping are of okay standard and it is poosible to reach that level through proper training, but I think that they are damn synchronized in their performance and that's what makes it the best. The three performers can bboy, pop, and lock but they didn't show much of locking, which is quite sad cause I think locking is damn cool also.

Anyway, the reason I watched Inspire'08 is because I wanted to support Tse Young and the other bboys. I must commend them on their choreography because I think it was quite good, given that they only used 8 days to get the performance done. And this is their debut, their first performance as MAD J1 Bboys only. And I am quite proud to see some of them doing great in their dancing. Unfortunately, I think they lacked synchronization. Even Karlton admitted this. If they worked on their synchronization, the performance would be flawless. I guess they need to work on that for Tapestry.

Some ppl think synchronization is not that important, and it's not easy. Well, I think that argument is partly correct, partly bullshit. True, synchronization is not easy, but its probably the other most improtant thing in a performance, other than choreography. I would rather have an easy move and everyone can do it nicely than have a hard move and everyone missing a beat or two. It's just wack if everyone is doing it incorrectly.

Anyway, jus came back from Oschool and dinner. Had dinner with Shino. We had a interesting discussion of forming our own dance crew within our hip hop class. Probably with the other teenagers. Actually, I started the topic by bringing up the fact that someone is my school is forming a crew and he asked me to join him. Then I asked Shino whether she wants to join, since we need a good popper anyway. And she brought up the idea that we can form a crew within our own class too, an idea that I already had since Hip Hop I. Shino, I'm all for it!

I think that the crew would be genereally a Hip Hop crew, but I want the crew to have ppl from different dance genres, like bboy, street jazz, locking, popping, hip hop and etc. Then we can learn from each other and progress as a dynamic group that's good in most dance genres. Then we can go for competitions and such. Now that would be cool.

I am quite inspired by Kaba Modern. After looking at their videos on Youtube, I am quite interested to choreo a group dance item. That started me choreo to the song "Apologize". I can just imagine a crew with 10 ppl or so hanging out and learning from each other. But the challenge now is too get good ppl into the crew, and this will take time. Only time will tell our success.

A crew. My own crew. Inspired by Kaba Modern. Let's see how it goes.

"We See What We Want To See"

My new GP teacher, Mr Shyam, gave me a very good first impression today. IMO, he is tons better than Mr Cheong. Mr Shyam's lesson today can own all of Mr Cheong's lessons combined. Seriously, why didn't he come to take our class earlier? He shows us that he has intellectual depth and he is very good at expressing them. And he managed to get the attention of out whole class and have a fruitful intellectual discussion. He's almost comparable to Miss Ong, though I still miss her teachings.

Mr Shyam gave us an article about Crime and Punishment today. In the article, the author talked about how a group of black teenage kids kidnapped, beaten, raped, then left a white female to die. He was criticizing ppl who argues that the kids did what they did because they are "victims of circumstances", meaning that the kids did the act because they are living up to their stereotypes. For the first half of the class discussion, I was totally oblivious of what was being said because I was reading the Freedom Writers Diary. So when we talked about social/racial stereotypes, I felt kinda sad because the situation portrayed parallels what I was reading in the Freedom Writers Diary.

Mr Shyam was touching on the subject on racial stereotypes and he pointed out that statistics may not always be true, as it can be served to support stereotypes. Sounds confusing eh? Let me give you an example. White Americans always believed that blacks are always prone to commiting crimes. And their government has statistics to show that this is true. Sounds perfectly fine right? What if I tell you statistics can be inaccurate? Now what do you think? Mr Shyam raises an example where out of ten ppl being chosen to get spotchecked by police in America, 7 out of 10 would be blacks. Let me guide you through the train of thoughts:

7 out of 10 of ppl chosen are blacks --> Increase in chance that crime offenders who are black get caught --> More whites will get away with their crime (e.g. drugs) --> Statistics show that blacks are more prone to commit crimes

See? In this case, the statistics are skewed, since the police only check on blacks most of the time. And this is how racial stereotypes are supported. When I heard about this, I couldn't help shaking my head in sorrow.

I raised a point during the discussion about what I once read in Da Vinci Code:

"We see what we want to see"

Like history, we choose only the points that can help strengthen our beliefs. When this happens, it's hard for ppl to change or question their opinions because we only choose what we want to see. We must open our mind to more possiblities and ideas and always challenge our assumptions. If not, many problems such as racial inequality and stereotyping can never be solved.

So the next time you stereotype something, remember to open your eyes then:

Stop and stare.

Back To Busy-ness

When I woke up this morning, I could not even open my bedroom door. Both of my hands were aching like mad due to the straining of muscles yesterday. I took a longer time than usual to prepare for school and thank God the bus waited for everyone to be present. I didn't even feel like going to school today. One of the reasons pushing me to go is the fact that I wanna try my hands on the speed climbing wall today.

When we reached Toa Payoh SAFRA, I went to climb the 9m wall, which is the easier wall out of all four. When I was climbing the first few rocks, I feel the jolt of pain in both of my hands, but I was determined to go on. I want to at least reach the top of one wall. In the end, I managed to get to the top and I feel a sense of achievement reaching the top, though I'm not the first. At least I could. Then I spent the remaining hours trying to reach the top of the other 3 walls, but I failed to the reach the top. Overall, I had lots of fun rock climbing and getting to know other ppl.

When I reached school, I went to the PE Studio to meet up with Glenn. But the PE studio was used for Street Jazz sabbat. I got to say the instructor's choreo was quite nice, but then again, the students were not that synchronized. Then Ezra came along. I asked Ezra about Studio Wu and he recommended me to go to Studio Wu. I didn't know the unlimited class at Studio Wu means you get to go to all of their scheduled classes for $180 per month. It's kinda ex, but I wanna try out their unlimited classes one day. It may be the only thing that can satisfy my thirst for dance.

Since the PE studio was used, then Glenn decided to head to the SALT centre gym. Because I was aching all over my body, I decided to pass but accompany him there since it's on my way back to boarding school anyway. We passed the soccer court and were quite surprised to see some of the MAD J1 Bboys there. Si Quan, Chuan Khim, and Jon Neo was playing. Glenn wanted to play so I just watched from the sideline. Not long after, Shen Hong and Wilson came to join us too. It feels good to see them after a period of time.

After a few matches, me and Glenn left the soccer court. He headed to the gym while I went back to the hostel. I bathe then slept like till 8pm. Damn tired. Now my muscles are like aching all over again.

Now that sabbaticals have ended, then JC life will get mundane again, just when I am enjoying post-blocks. Now there will be more tutorials, tests, assignment, PW, ILP, EOM and such. Sian. How I wish JC life can be as carefree as it is now. Anyway, there are things to look forward to amidst all that busyness, like Inspire'08, OSchool classes and possibly dance classes at Studio Wu too.

I'll stop here today and have a late dinner. Well, it's back to busy-ness, guys.

Sabbatical

Today was sabbaticals and I was doing rock climbing! We went to this Toa Payoh SAFRA place to have our outdoor rock climbing. When I went up the bus that was chartered to the venue this morning, Anthony and Chia Ern are definitely not the ppl I expect to see at the back seats. I didn't know they chose rock climbing too! My classmate Si Jie was also there along with Chia Wu (my long time video sabbat buddy) and another (horny) guy named Gu Chao.

The bus was supposed to leave at 7.15am but it left school half an hour later. I seriously wonder why the hell I woke up so early for. I should have taken my breakfast since it's going to leave half an hour later anyway.

When we reached the SAFRA place, we were given basic rock climbing and belaying instructions. We were also supposed to put on the harness, which, well, as Gu Chao puts it, emphasizes our manhood. Haha. I can see from everyone's expression that we were all thinking of one thing -- how sick the harness made us look. I guess I can't help it, since I got a big 'dragon'. Haha.

Anyway, we took turns going up the walls and I can tell you that even the easiest wall is difficult to climb. It's much harder than the OBS standard and also not many rocks to cling onto. The instructors -- Mr. Amir and Ms. Effa -- gave us a demo on how to get to the top and we were all damn impressed. While they went up, they can swing around and climb in unthinkable positions. Me and Anthony joked that maybe we should ask the instructors to go to the top and start doing airchairs or airflares. They are that good.

The challenging walls made me feel disappointed that I didn't manage to reach the top. After a few hours, my hands and fingers were shivering that I don't really have much strength to continue climbing. Now my muscles are aching from all the rock climbing. I must try my best again tomorrow and conquer at least one wall.

Oh ya, and Si Jie learnt that it's good to have ppl anchoring the belayers, the hard way. Si Jie (who is only about 45-50kg) was belaying Gu Chao (who weighs close to a freaking 70kg). Then Gu Chao lost his grip and fell, and this sets in a quick chain of reaction. Gu Chao fell off the wall --> Gravity pulls Gu Chao down --> This causes Si Jie to be flung upwards --> Si Jie banged into the wall. Si Jie should have gotten a taste of the wall and mmm, it taste good right, Si Jie? Haha. This was damn funny and alot ppl was laughing.

Anyway, this sabbat is quite fun and the ppl there are friendly. Looking forward to another day!