Last year at this time

Last year at this time Jonas was very sick. Last year at this time I still had a husband and my boys still had a daddy. Last year at this time I felt hope that Jonas would get better. He always did. Last year at this time I would have never in a million years thought I would become a widow at the age of 33.


Things change. Bad things happen. Even to a family that I thought was "exempt" from another death in the family since we lost Jesse, (Joe's brother in law) on Feb. 11, 2002. I was pretty naive to think that the Websters wouldn't have to face death again. But I suppose that's what I am good at. Being naive. 


Things have become hard again. The grief wave has crashed once again and I am having a hard time finding purpose in life and motivation to do much. I think what is really getting to me is that I have to start 2012 without Jonas. I will no longer be able to say "last year at this time" once February 22, 2012 comes. I don't want to start a new year without my husband. 


But...I will. The New Year will come and I will still be a widow raising three young boys. I will get up each day to take care of my handsome boys and hopefully find peace and motivation again. It's a good thing I have family to keep me moving. I know I couldn't do this without their love and support. It's a good thing I have Sam, Ben, and Jack. They are my world.

Last year at this time I had an eternal family. I am so thankful and grateful to know that I still do. I always will.

This is our "daddy" tree. All the ornaments on it represent Jonas. I had a fun time looking for ornaments that would fit on our tree. Some of them are Ute footballs, books, fishing, camping, angels, and computers. My family and Joe's family also contributed ornaments to the tree that represented Jonas to them. It is a special tree and I am already excited to add to it next year. When my boys have Christmas trees of their own they will be able to have the ornaments from their "daddy's tree". That thought makes me smile.

2009, It was a good year!

Jonas is telling us he has had enough of being sick. "This year I am staying healthy!"

(to read previous medical histories, click here)

Family outing to the Gateway Children's Museum

Attempt at a family photo

Daddy & Jack 

This was on Ben's birthday. (Joe's sister is always teasing her brothers!)
Joe looks so much better at this birthday party compared to Ben's
2008 birthday party.

Dr. Samuel Webster

At this point, Jonas was just using his
port for his nightly IV antibiotics.

Dr. Benjamin Webster

Enjoying the warm weather at Joe's parents house
for his sister's birthday.

Happy Easter

 Joe loved to be at Sam & Ben's tball and soccer games!

Hill Air force base

Joe made this treasure box and treasure maps for Sam's
pirate birthday party

Joe & Jack at the 4th of July breakfast at my
parent's house.

Sam got a pet bearded dragon for his 6th birthday!

Swimming in Midway

Family time in the canyon

Dinosaur Park

Dinosaur Park

Lagoon

Cherry Hill

Cherry Hill

Joe's 34th Birthday

Enjoying the outdoors

I don't know where we are....maybe the Todd's
family cabin??

Enjoying some TV after a Sunday dinner
 (I suspect its football)

Reading time

Joe is so creative!

The spider cake (its much better than I could ever do!)

Perhaps more football?! And unfortunately
this about the time Jonas started feeling sick again.
Can you tell he has lost weight?

Webster Christmas party. We make gingerbread
houses every year and the kids (and adults)
always have a good time!

Mine and Kaleb's (my nephews) birthday party
Joe completely shocked and surprised me by showing
up with a Cricut Machine! It was such
a generous gift and I had no idea he was
getting it! I hadn't even hinted I had wanted one.
But I loved it!

Sam & Joe singing at our Christmas Eve talent show

Joe getting his yearly South Park season for Christmas. He loved
that show! (I hated it. Although, yes,
occasionally I did laugh at it. Not very often!)

Merry Christmas!

As far as I can remember it was a really good year! For almost the entire year Jonas was pretty healthy. I think it was about September that he started to not feel good on a more regular basis. At some point Jonas had to go back on TPN, I wish I could remember exactly when that was, but I think it was around September or October of 2009.


 He started to loose weight again and his diarrhea got worse which caused him to be dehydrated. We felt like we were reliving the beginning of 2008. We were both so sad and discouraged that he had to go back on it, but we knew it would be the only way to keep his body nourished and hydrated.


 I am so thankful for the good memories I have of 2009, we had some really fun times together as a family. I wish I had thousands of pictures to document every good moment of that year, but I will cherish the memories in my mind forever.