My Two Cents

On Bad Habits, i.e. bad temper
Do not find excuses for our shortcomings. We change and improve ourselves not because our partner wants or expects us to do so but it is US, OURSELVES want to do it. And, when it is your WANT, you will be more determine and will not feel so dreadful or like being forced by others. If u are determined to drop bad temper u will find all ways to control yourself (and i definitely knows that say is easier than done as my temper is bad also). One way u can try is when u feel u want to explode already, 抬 头 望望天 ( 或天花板 ) ， 让 自己冷静一下，想想一念天堂，一念地 狱 。 (I am trying this way now also.)

Love is sharing be it good or bad, sweet or bitter.
Some questions to you: Why do you date her? What is your opinion on her? When you are together with her, did u have any plan? Did u have any vision on both of your future? Did u share with her?

She is an adult (believe it or not? She is 23 years old now) and need to be treated as an adult. As she always has been treated like a child by all of us (mum and all sisters), i think deep in her heart, she hopes her BF treats her as an adult and let her feel she is useful and important and can be a pillar for you to rely on when you need her.

It is a correct way for not to let the elderly, like parents, sisters and brothers to worry about us but this does not apply to our partner. For a healthy relationship, it needs to be “laugh and cry together, share the fruits and bear the risks together, enjoy the good times and suffer the bad times together” and most importantly “learn and grow together”.

To me, sharing a problem does not necessary mean will burden your partner if you can give them confidence and assurance that you can manage it. Sharing thoughts and idea is also a way to reflect our respect to our partner.

To love someone, you need to love yourself first.
This is cruel but true. I learnt this in hard way from san jie fu. Get yourself back in shape first, please. Live on, move on, with or without her. Don’t attempt to win back love by earning her sympathy. This will not last long and you may feel revengeful to her in future. Focus on your career for the moment and try to show your improvement to her over time – may be turn to her as a friend first if this is an easier way to approach her. Since both of you have given this relationship a chance before, if it does not work out now, you shall move on. This may not a tragedy but an opportunity for you.

Lastly, a question for you to really think on, are you certain that she is the ONE for you?

A relationship will not always be a smooth sailing trip, it needs to go through thunderstorm and rough waves to make it stronger and for you to really appreciate it.

Fortunate or Unfortunate?

Looking at all the cute babies photos that sent by friend, I can’t put a smile on my face as I am thinking about those babies with abnormalities that showed on the Octo (a Singapore TV Channel programme). I have only watched for 3 episodes but it give me a really big impact. I have think about the triplet in US who were borned in their 24 weeks. They are blind and deaf. I respect the mother and mother’s boyfriend, who have support the mother all these years. (The biological father has gone nowhere.) Then, the second family with a daughter who has never grown up, despite already 16 years old, the young lady is still like a baby, she need to rely on the walker to walk, she is only the size of a 4 months old baby. The parent and the sister (2 elder and 1 younger) have take care of her for the past 16 years. The recent week has showed a baby with 2 faces – Baby Laili, who was born in a lowest class in India. She has not survived. But it may be a good thing to her parent.

Watching all these unfortunate cases that happened on the parent, I feel sad for them and I thanks god for giving me a healthy baby. I remembered when I first watched the show on the Triplet, I can’t sleep and tears flowed down from my face when looked at my own child. On the other hand, I feel happy for these children for having parents and family members who love them and have not give up on them. They are fortunate in another way.

Fortunate or unfortunate, this is a choice of yours.