my new snail mail address

Shanny Tan
University College
315 Leith Street,
Dunedin, NZ

hi people. please send me snail mail. i promise ill reply them. it cost $1.10 to send a letter to NZ. it will be nicer if you can send a package of something over. (*hint : my room is rather empty) haha.

my first offical post from NZ

ron, my mom and my sis sent me off at the airport.

i was both really happy and really sad at the same time. i spent half the time trying to hold back my tears since 10am in the morning. it is hard to hold back when you know you are not going to see them for a long time. but i tried really hard too keep the tears behind the eyeballs. only getting go at the final moment. everything just came out when i was saying my final goodbye at the glass doors.

i was surprised that even my mom cried. and i guess i am finally under the "long distance relationship" category.

point of note: i cut my hair. new color new style. how this is going to last 5mnths. i love this shade of red.

everything looks really nice from above. the first sight of new zealand is more than just clouds. it is a whole mountain range and rivers. SNOW CAPED MOUNTAINS. looking at the real thing is way better than viewing 2D pictures under a steoroscope in coastal lab. there were braided streams and alluvial fans. i could see everything from 3000m in the air. the window seat is great.

i really could see the details.

it is a beauty



new zealand have plenty of sheep and cows. but somehow they were so small i could only see the from up close. i was wondering since it was 4million cows and 8 million sheep. i always thought that it could easily be seen from the sky. apparently sheeps and cows can camoflage. you see the coniferous tress and the land divisions but you just dont see clutters of sheep and cows.

sitting now at christchurch waiting for the domestic flight. couldnt resist but went outside the airport to test the air. the weather is cold. but it feels so fresh so just stand outdoors in a simple thin sweater. just as long as the wind dont blow. it feels just like melbourne.

i barely slept on the plane. who could in that noise and in that sitting position. and besides when i close my eyes i find myself tearing. lucky the woman sitting next to me had that eye mask sleeping thingy on and she couldnt see. i must have sniffed really loud. i am a sucker for comfort. i am awake for more than 28 hours already. i am tired but all i want to do it to hit a decent bed. i think they unsleepable conditions during a flight causes people not to sleep and in the end it worsens their jet lag.

my eyes are tired.

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there was a fire at the airport. can you believe it. i was typing my journal on my com when the fire alarm went off. then we all have to go outside and stand in the cold for half and hour when the firemen came in their nice big trucks to put the fire out. it was damn cool. (cool as in really cool and cool as in cold)

reached dunedin at 5pm. and where i was staying at 6pm. and god i tell you what cold is man. it feels like i am staying in a freezer. i think temp were only 2degC. and it felt colder than that.

blog more tmr. it is like 1am in the morning. i need my sleep.

Last Moments before the cold

This is it people...
my last moments in tropical weather and my favorite northern hemisphere.

i am leaving in 8 hours and everything is in place.
passport, money, luggage... check.

i dont feel anything at this point in time. no excitement no anxiety no nervousness. just a bit empty. the feeling of not knowing what it is going to be like for the next 5 month really sucks. i guess that is the feeling of embracing something really new for the first time. i think this would have been the feeling if i had migrated to Melbourne 3 years ago.

new and unkown.

but i guess it might be nice to have cold weather for a change. ill be able to experience seasons for a change. that is why i wanted to study overseas, even if it is for awhile. to try out my independence again.

did last minute packing of last min items and my baggage is now happily over weight by about 3 kg. my laptop bag weights more than i imagined. and my hand carry is filled with books. should have gotten a psp for entertainment. i hope everything reaches Dunedin without getting lost somewhere else in the world. my life for the next 5 months is pack into that little red luggage. i am praying so hard that it will not get lost. but somehow i dont trust the airport baggage system too much.

ill miss alot of things

ill miss my hokkien mee
my chicken rice
my hanabi buffets
my dog
my room in hall
my IBG
my nonexistant fwoc senior
my late night bitching in hall
my suppers
my bitches
my ron

i guess there will always be something to look forward when i come back.

note to everyone:
you all can send me snail mail or emails. in this time and age it would be really nice to receive mail in my very cold and frozen mail box in NZ. ill post my mailing address when i get there.

my flight is going to be long. i am leaving tonight at 7 plus and reaching there at 5 in the afternoon. 14 hours of flight plus 6 and a half waiting for transit. DAMN. hope there is internet at the airports so i can still go online.

one week left of tears

sometimes i dont know why i put us through this. sometimes i wonder if i have made a bad decision. sometimes i wonder if i will live to regret this. i feel sad all the time when i am at home and alone.

havent had the mood to blog about anything since most of the times, all i want to do is sit down and cry. and cry hard. many times i have already done that for hours at a go. i cry before i sleep. i cry when i am in the shower. i tear at random moments and cry at others. i cry and let no one see. i cant help it.

all i have left is one week. i feel very happy recently when i am in hall. i try to spend as much time here.

sometimes i just dont want to see anyone. i dont want to let my presence known. i dont want anyone else to take away time. i dont want to say goodbye. goodbye hurts too much you know. esp when you are gong for 5 months. i wonder how my mom did it when she left for Melbourne and UK.

although i miss my friends. secretly i am happy that my good friends are not around to see me cry. mala and nelle is in the US. there is every chance i will have a heavy emotional breakdown when i talk about leaving. those two people have seen me cry the most.

hey people. do me a favor. dont see me off at the airport and dont talk about me leaving. ill start crying. i have been trying to control my tears but i simply just cant do it. so i dont want any surprise arrivals at the airport or surprise moves anyhow. my heart cant take it. and you dont want to see me weeping.

i think i better start carrying around packets of tissue. it might prove useful.

it is only not that i realize how hard it is to leave someone. even if it is for awhile. (ok. 5 months is not really classified as awhile)

take some to stare at it and finish the sentence

this is stuck at the top of the lift in my block of flat. i read it everytime i take the lift. somehow people like me donno where else to stare when you are in the lift. then again no one knows where to stare without being rude.



what do you stare at in the lift

if you stare at your shoes, you are like everyone else
if you stare at others, you are rude
if you stare into blank space, you are stupid
if you stare into someone's chest, you are assulting
if you stare at the walls, you will be crossed eyed
if you stare at your hands, you are insercure
if you stare at your clothes, you are vain
if you stare at other peoples clothes, you are sick

SO WHERE DO YOU PUT YOUR EYES?

i m going to be in safe hands

todays papers had this article regarding where singapore lies in world ranking of "the worlds peaceful countries" list. and singapore is on at the 29th spot. pretty good for a country that is smacked in the middle of south east asia ( aka, a place that has a good share of rubbish at work in politics ) you will never know what kind of politics politics are out of singapore.

then the list of top 5 were
1> Norway
2> New Zealand
3> Denmark
4> Ireland
5> Japan

then i realised that my uncle and my aunts made really good choices to think of migrating to Norway 30 years ago. they had the foresight to look into the future. Norway not only is that place on earth with the most magnificant landscape. it has cute guys too. and to top it off, it is the most peaceful country on the planet



and guess what? i am going to the second most peaceful country in the world. not only do the second place have great scenery, they have the perfect summers. i guess as the list goes downwards there is going to be less peaceful and more ugly.

the world sucks. with the news getting more environmentally crazy, to think people still care about peacefullnes and even coming up with a list like that. cant they channel more funds into the environmental research. i think politics do not really deserve the funding more than the environment.

what is the point of politics when there is no place in the world for politians to live.

imagine if
eutrophication killed all the rivers and lakes in the world
or 10 tornados sweap the earth
or the whole temperate dies under the heat wave
or china and the rest of the world drowns in flood and mud slides