Happy Monday! This week in Come Follow Me we are supposed to be studying Jacob 5-7. I’ve prepared some thoughts on the chapters for this week and have some questions. Feel free to comment on any or all. On Sunday, I’ll share some insights from my own study.

The first thing we notice about Jacob chapter 5 is that it is LOOONG! In fact it’s the longest chapter in the Book of Mormon. It’s often referred to as the allegory of the tame and wile olive trees and revolves around the imagery of a vineyard owner who is trying to bring forth good fruit from his olive trees.

What’s an allegory? The manual tells us that allegories stories that teach spiritual truths through symbols. But to be more specific, an allegory is a type of metaphor where everything in the story represents a particular idea or real-world event. Allegories are full of parallels to actual events.

I’m going to approach Jacob 5 a little differently. I oftentimes like to read this chapter more as a parable. Now a parable is a bit different from an allegory. Its purpose isn’t so much to represent actual groups or events, but general principles and truths about life. So this week in my studying and pondering I’m going to look for principles that Jacob 5 teaches us about God and the ways he works in our lives.  And actually, I can’t think of many other places in the scriptures where I feel I get a better understanding of the character and heart of God and his connection with us, his children, than Jacob 5. I think this is so appropriate for what is happening in the world today. I’m going to call the principles I find here “Truths from the Vineyard”.

INTERPRETING THE PARABLE

·       The Vineyard: The World or mortality

·       The Master of the Vineyard:  God or Jesus Christ

·       The Servant: Jesus Christ or Prophets

·       The Olive Trees: Me/People

·       The Labor in the Vineyard: How God works with us

·       Good Fruit: Righteousness and blessings

·       Bad Fruit/Decay: Wickedness and consequences

·       The Soil: The circumstances under which we are born or raised

I’ve identified 6 truths and have some questions for you all to consider as you study.

Truth #1

What is the goal of the gardener? What does the master hope to accomplish with his vineyard, with us?

There is a lot of repetition in this chapter and usually, if an idea is repeated, it’s because the author is trying to communicate its importance. It’s a means of expressing emphasis.

So, find the phrase or idea that is repeated in each of the following verses that answers the above question:

:13, 18, 19, 20, 23, 29, 31, 33, 46, 54*, 60*, 61*, 71, 75, 76

Truth #2

What is the Master willing to do to help his trees to produce good fruit?

There is one keyword that stands out to me as the definitive answer to that question, and then a whole list of other words that are associated with it. But see if you can find the overall keyword. It’s repeated in the following verses:

:15, :16, :32, :61, :62, :71, :72, :74, :75.

Truth #3

What are some of the methods he uses to work with you? How does he labor?

There are a number of different verbs that show up over and over and over again in this chapter. In fact, a great marking activity would be to go through and mark every time you see one of these words show up. I’ll give you the first letter of each word.

N - :3, :4, :5, :11, :12, :20, :22, :23, :24, :25, :27, :31, :34, :47, :58, :63, :71, :75, :76

D - :4, :27, :47, :63, :76

G - :8, :9, :10, :17, :18, :34, :52, :54, :55, :60, :63, :67, :68

P - :4, :5, :11, :27, :47, :62, :64, :69, :76

D - :47, :64, :76

B - :7, :9, :47, :77

As you find and review the words ask yourself how Heavenly may have performed each of these things in your own life.

Truth #4

What repeated phrase do you find in each of the following verses:

v.7, 11, 32, 46, 47, 51, 66.

Truth #5

What do the phrases found in verses :41, 46, 47, 49 and 50 teach you about the master of the vineyard?

Truth #6 Does it matter what kind of soil you are planted in?

Question about Chapter 6

Have you seen and felt the hand of God working in your life? How?

Chapter 7 is all about Faith Shakers

How do you earthquake-proof your testimony and reinforce your faith?

I'm so proud of my boy Brien!

Hi Mom,

Have you ever been driving somewhere, and you see a sign in big flashing letters that unmistakably says MERGE RIGHT. LEFT LANE CLOSED AHEAD.

Being the good reader that you are, you take this to mean that the left lane is closed ahead.  You merge right because you know that no left lane will preclude driving in the left lane. You are astute like that.

Then you, along with the other good readers, spend the next 30 minutes painfully inching forward in the right lane for the next mile where the left lane actually ceases to exist.  And as you approach the point where the left lane ends you are united with those who did not merge right a mile back and now insist that you let them in.

And are you like me in that some days your tendency is to look straight ahead and pretend that you don’t see them? And maybe you keep the front end of your car so close to the back end of the car ahead that even a gnat couldn’t pass between?  Or maybe you are even brazen enough to look over at them and give them the “Ain’t no way buddy!” look.  You maybe even say to yourself, “That’s no fair!  Get in line and inch up like the rest of us!  Who do you think you are??”

Now that I’m older and have a slightly better grip on what is important in life, I’ll usually just wave one or two in front of me and go on my merry way, because the stress of teaching the world a lesson while behind the wheel of a car is just not worth it.  But sometimes, it’s just one of those days and I can’t stop myself, and I allow myself to falsely believe that they will change their me-first-lane-cutting ways and the world will be a better place for all concerned if I don’t let them get away with it.

But that never happens.

Those days when I just have to right the traffic wrongs, I never move along feeling better about myself.  I never feel like I made my little slice of the world a better place.  In fact just the opposite. Sometimes a win is not really a win.

Brien has had a really tough time this past semester in school. He's had to endure several confidence shaking experiences. Critiques by instructors at school and also critiques and bad-mouthing by some of his co-students. In the last week of the semester his partner for his capstone project quit, although that really didn't have anything to do with Brien. But he has a tendency to be like his mother and his grandfather and take everything personally. Often when he's pushed or feeling insulted my normally tenderhearted boy will respond to this perceived attack by digging in his proverbial heels. He gets defensive and goes on a counter-attack (this is particularly true when he's around Wes...but that's a story for another day). When all of this was happening during the most pressure filled time of his program, I saw that he was not handling things very well and that anger, resentment and self-doubt were really starting to take there toll on him. As you know, school is never something that has come easy to him.

So the other day, I sat Brien down and I talked to him. I told him about my experience with taking things too personally. I told him about Dad and his inability to let things go and how destructive that can be in life. I told him that holding onto hurts and nursing a grudge and a bad attitude simultaneously only results in more pain for yourself.

I explained to him that often times even if you are in the right and respond to negativity, meanness, or just plain thoughtlessness in kind you are not really winning. Real winners in life return meanness with kindness, return thoughtlessness with thoughtfulness and return negativity with a positive attitude. I told him that being the bigger person doesn't really cost you anything, and as a bonus you get to feel good about yourself.

He didn't really respond to that. I could tell he was giving it skeptical consideration or trying to figure out how to get off the subject.

"What if you give up something that does cost you?" he asked.

Good question. Crickets chirped as I tried to think of something I had given up lately that had cost me something and couldn't come up with one thing.

"I guess then you get to look big in the eyes of Heavenly Father," I said slowly, more to myself than to him, wondering what the heck just happened here. I thought I was supposed to be the teacher.

Sometimes, the teacher is the student and learning is more about the questions than the answers. And recognizing that is part of being an adult.

Well last night I could see that Brien had thought about what we discussed. All week long he put the negativity behind him and pushed forward with a good attitude and worked harder than I have ever seem him work in his life. It all paid off. His meal was perfect. It was delicious...a feast for the senses. Both tasty and visually appealing. 

We had to leave before the judges gave their critiques and grades for the evening were handed out. But before we left I made sure to tell him that no matter what grade he ended up with...last night was one of those times when everything came together and he was a WINNER both in the kitchen and as a man. He did his absolute very best and I could not have been more proud.

Finding the Light

Hi Mom,

I can't believe you only have a few weeks left of your mission. It's crazy how quickly a year can go by. I'm sure it's becoming bittersweet for you. Counting down the days until you can be back with the family, yet not wanting to leave the work and the people you've come to love. I hope these next few weeks are filled with many wonderful moments for you to cherish.

As you know I've been doing a lot of studying of the scriptures. I've been doing some soul searching and reflecting.

A few weeks ago I was out on one of Elon's properties. We have a small "Forrest" or a small area of land that has been designated a "Forrest" that we use for biology and botany research for the students. It's really a beautiful area with many different kinds of trees and plants. One of my favorite trees is the Mountain Laurel. In case you didn't know, there are few things in nature better than a Mountain Laurel tree.

They get these gorgeous lavender blossoms that smell like grape soda and basically make the world feel like a better place. The trees blooms from early may through June and every time I see one I think of that primary song "I know Heavenly Father Loves Me." That's how I feel when I see these incredible Mountain Laurel trees.

This year there were a couple of trees that were looking sickly. I happened to be doing a story for one of Elon's publications on the installation of a solar farm on an adjacent property, when I saw that there were some people out inspecting the trees. I wandered over there to see what was going on. The tree guy said that when the trees were originally planted, they were planted too deep and over the years the roots had become covered by more and more layers of dirt and mulch until they weren't getting enough light from above.

Hi. Spiritual analogy anyone?

The tree guys brought in some equipment that I'd tell you all about except I didn't care enough to ask and they dug out all of the excess dirt around the tree roots to expose them to the light.

And I'm not kidding when I tell you that not even two weeks later the sickly trees were coveted in bright green foliage that's a sign of new growth and health. That's all it took. The roots were in need of the light.

Those trees are a reminder to me that I let too many things crowd in and block out the voice of Heavenly Father in my life. And not even bad things necessarily, just busy things.

Things that distract me from absorbing how much my Heavenly Father loves me.

I heard someone say once, "We will never be secure until we realize we are fully loved by God, no matter our failings." That's my struggle.

I struggle with grace.

I struggle to comprehend that I am fully loved by my Heavenly Father no matter how much I fail. That's the place I go when I let too much cover up the truth of the Gospel in my life.

Because I know myself. I know all my weaknesses and failures. I know what I've done and what I regret. I know all of the ways I continue to fail on a daily basis.

And if I'm disappointed in myself - then how is Heavenly Father not disappointed in me? How does he look at me with unfailing love and hope that I'll do better tomorrow, but won't love me any less if I don't?

It doesn't make sense. And sometimes it just feels easier to cover these insecurities up and pretend they're not there instead of exposing them to the light.

Over the last few weeks Heavenly Father has shown His love to me in a hundred different ways, just small simple things. There have been moments when I've almost felt like it was too much. More than I deserved. Confirmation that He is weaving together plans and purposes and a future I couldn't have imagined.

And I've felt Him say to me in the deepest part of my heart, the part I sometimes let get too covered up, "You are so much harder on yourself than I am."

I am. I'm hard on myself. I get caught up in the comparison game and feel like everyone is loving better, living more purposefully, doing more significant things and, essentially, blooming so much better than me.

I give other people the benefit of the doubt, but I never give myself that same consideration. And that's what Heavenly Father has been teaching me these past few weeks as I have been studying.

He has never once looked at me, shook his head and said, "Wow! What a failure. I should have gotten someone else to do that." That's not how He works.

I don't know if any of us have the capability or the comprehension to ever fully grasp the love of Heavenly Father. It's too big. But I know that the only way we'll ever grow and become what He has called us to be is when we expose ourselves to the light of the gospel. That's where we bloom.

That's where we have the fragrance that tells the world who we belong to, what He has done for us, and that we are covered in ridiculous amounts of grace by the light of His love and the truth of His gospel.

I love you mom and I hope your week is going well. Thank you for all that you do and all that you are!

Holley

Driving Dane crazy one phone call at a time

Hi Mom,

I hope you are doing well. I'm still bogged down with lots of work. I find myself really missing the summers of my youth that were spent riding my bike and playing softball all summer long. Those were the days! I don't know how much I like this responsible adult thing I've had going on for the last 25 years. I can't even contemplate retirement anytime soon. Not that the government will even allow me to retire...but that's another complaint all together. I thought I would share another one of those hilarious exchanges with Dane that drives him crazy. I actually kind of feel sorry for Dane because it seems the older I get the more the teasing/get your goat traits that I inherited from Dad come out in my personality. I just can't stop myself. To give you a little background...you know how long it took Dane to accept and embrace cell phone technology right? Well embrace it he has. But he has this habit of expecting me to you know, use it to communicate with him. I have this terrible habit of leaving my phone in the car when I'm running errands. Or, I turn the ringer off while I'm at work for a meeting and then I forget to turn the ringer back on. When I have to work late sometimes I just get so focused on getting the work done so that I can get home and I forget to let Dane know that I will be really late. Maybe I'm not such a responsible adult after all...HMMM. I'll have think about that tomorrow. Anywhoo...see if this reminds you of Dad. Oh and Happy Belated Anniversary Mom. I love you!!!

Conversation with Dane after the 40,000th time I failed to answer my phone:
Dane:  I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU.  WHY DON’T YOU EVER ANSWER YOUR PHONE WHEN I CALL YOU?
me:  I didn’t hear it because I was too busy yelling at some idiot who claimed that you weren’t the most understanding and patient husband in the world.
Dane:  I…don’t even know what to say to that.
me:  You should probably just say “Thank you.”

The 40,001st time I failed to answer my phone:
Dane:  AAAAH.  IT’S A PHONE, HOLLEY.  JUST ANSWER IT.
me:  *mumble mumble*
Dane:  What?  What are you saying?
me: *mumble mumble*
Dane:  WHAT?
me: That was me practicing what it would sound like if I was gagged and bound and finally answered the phone with my nose to tell you which abandoned warehouse I was stuck in.  And you failed.
Dane:  WHAT?
me:  Because maybe that’s why I wasn’t answering my phone.  Maybe it was to make this drill seem more realistic.  I can’t just reach my phone immediately if I’m tied up.  IT TAKES FINESSE.
Dane:  You’re killing me here.
me:  It won’t always be a drill, Dane.  Get your act together.

The 40,002nd time:
Dane:  YOU HAVEN’T ANSWERED YOUR PHONE IN HOURS.  I’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK THAT YOU’D BEEN MANGLED IN AN ACCIDENT.
me:  But I wasn’t.  I just turned the ringer off accidentally.  You must be very relieved.
Dane:  RELIEVED?  I’M IRRITATED. WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL AND LET ME KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO BE THREE HOURS LATE GETTING OFF WORK?
me:  Well, that’s really the very opposite emotion to have when finding out that your wife is less-mangled-than-expected.  I think maybe you need to re-prioritize and call me back when you’re less confusing and ready to apologize.

The 40,003rd time:
DANE: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED?  WHAT IF I JUST NEVER ANSWERED YOUR CALLS?
me:  Hello.  I just found this phone.  I’m not Holley.
DANE: YOU ARE RIDICULOUS.
me:  The girl who dropped this phone is inside a flaming building saving orphans. She told me to hold her phone for her in case you called.  How are you?
Dane:  Seriously, why can’t you just answer your phone?
me:  Why is the sky blue?  Why can’t they just make orphans fire-proof?  Frankly, we could ask these questions all day, but the main point is that your wife is a hero and you should probably bring her some egg rolls on your way home because I bet she’d like that.

The 40,004th time:
Dane:  AAAAARGH!
me:  You know, at this point it’s sort of your fault for expecting me to answer the phone at all.  It’s not like I haven’t set a precedent.
Dane:  JUST ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!!
me:  Technically if I answered right away the first time you called it would be totally out of character and would probably be a sign that I was being held hostage or something.  We should have code words so that if I ever need to talk to you in front of kidnappers you’ll understand me.
Dane:  I already don’t understand you.
me:  That’s why it’s good we’re having this conversation now.

The 40,005th time:
Dane:  I’m going to duct tape your phone to your ankle.
me:  That would make it very hard to talk to you.  I’m not really that flexible.
Dane:  But at least you’d answer the phone.
me:  Technically the doctor would probably answer the phone.
Dane:  What?
me:  Because I’m allergic to the latex in duct tape remember how it gave me a rash when I was trying to smother that wart on my hand? So I’d probably have a massive reaction and then I’d have to go the hospital and then they’d call the police because normal husbands don’t stick poisonous tape to their wives like some sort of deadly ankle-monitor.  And then you’d have to explain that to the police.  Who would be talking to you from my ankle.  Which would just be weird for all of us.

The 40,006th time:
Dane:  WHAT IF I WAS DEAD?  WHAT IF THIS WAS THE POLICE CALLING TO TELL YOU I JUST DIED?
me:  Well, that would be very depressing.
Dane:  Yes, but you’d never know because you never answer your phone.
me:  You can’t begrudge me a few extra hours of blissful ignorance.  Why are you in such a hurry to make me grieve for you?  It’s not like you’re getting any less dead, Dane.

The 40,007th time:
me:  OH MY GOSH, DON’T YELL AT ME.  I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR IT RING BEFORE.
Dane:  Um…this is actually the first time I’ve called you today.  You actually picked up the phone the first time I called.
me:  Seriously?  That’s so weird.
Dane:  I know.  I’m so shocked that you answered that I don’t even remember why I called anymore.  My mind has gone utterly blank.
me:  Awesome.  I think we just switched bodies.

A Strange Encounter

Hi Mom,

I'm sorry I've not posted in a few weeks. Work has been kicking my butt lately and helping both Brien and Wes get through finals just about did me in. I will be so happy when they graduate. I never thought I would still be helping my college kids with their homework...but I do.

Wes and I had an interesting experience the other day. I was on my way to pick up Wes from the car place where he was getting his car serviced when I saw a man bent over on the sidewalk.  That is not something you see around here everyday, so it caught my eye and I slowed to see what was going on. And I couldn’t quite tell.

I couldn’t tell if he was having a heart attack and had dropped to his knees. I couldn’t tell if he had been jogging and was winded.  I couldn’t tell if he had stopped to examine a bug or perhaps he had just stopped to tie his shoes. But something about it sent my antennae up. Something was not quite right.

But I was running late as usual, so I didn’t stop.  After I retrieved Wes , I circled back to see if he was still there.  He was, so I slowed and rolled down my window.

“You doin’ okay?” I called towards him from a safe distance.

He looked up, surprised.

“Yeah,” he sighed.  Then, “No. Not really.  I’m having a really bad day.”  He sounded tired, not so much in body but in spirit.  A fatigued spirit is the worst kind of tired; no amount of sleep or vitamins can restore a weary soul.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said sympathetically and empathetically. I’ve had a few days in my life where I’ve wanted to collapse in a heap on the sidewalk and cry.

“You wouldn’t have a cigarette, would you?” he asked from the sidewalk.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t,” I said.

I stole a glance at Wes and noticed that he was taking it all in with curiosity as though he was watching a movie waiting to see what will happen in the next scene.

Without any cigarettes, I could see that there wasn’t much beyond sympathy I could offer him, so I promised that I would send up a prayer for him.

Offering to pray for someone is a risky thing, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t do a whole lot of that sort of thing, particularly with strangers, but there was something desperate about the way he was hunched over on the sidewalk that evoked an upwelling in my heart and a desire to do something to relieve his burden in some small way.  He could have told me where to stick my prayers, but he didn’t.

He smiled just a little. I thought I saw a glimmer of hope, a tiny spark.

“Thanks man, thanks for stopping, thanks for checking on me, thanks…” he rambled.

“Hang in there,” I said. It didn’t quite convey the encouragement I wished for him, but it was all I could think to say.

He cut such a sorrowful figure standing there that I couldn’t help but to wonder what it was that had brought him to his knees on a sidewalk in the middle of the day.  I could think of a hundred things, maybe a thousand.

As I pulled away, Wes asked how we were going to pray for him.  “We don’t even know his name,” he pointed out.

“That’s true,” I said. “We don’t know his name and we don’t know what is troubling him, but Heavenly Father does.”

As we drove home, my boy and I prayed for a man on a sidewalk.  It was all we could do.

I was reminded of a favorite poem:

I know not by what method rare,

But this I know, God answers prayer.

I know that He has given His word

That tells me prayer is always heard

And will be answered, soon or late,

And so I pray and calmly wait.

I know not if the blessing sought

Will come just in the way I thought,

But leave my prayers with Him alone,

Whose ways are wiser than my own—

Assured that He will grant my quest,

Or send some answer far more blessed.

~Eliza M. Hickock

I was given the opportunity to bear my testimony to Wes about the power of prayer. 

Love you mom and hope you and Pat are doing well. Have a great week!

Holley

I can't believe I paid someone to beat me up...Kelly you so owe me $30

Mom,

I told you about how I went to that doTerra essential oils seminar put on by Katie's friend last weekend. It was great and Dane and I learned a lot. We were so impressed with it that we joined up and even bought some stuff to try. So since I was impressed with the essential oils and have been trying to go more holistic with food and stuff, I decided that I would try to have a massage. I have been having problems with my left hip and my shoulders for a few months and I have torticolis in my neck and its been kind of acting up lately. Kelly suggested that I have a deep tissue massage to release the toxins and align my chakras or something like that. So despite the fact that I have major personal space issues and don't even like it when Dane hugs me too often, I went to get the massage and it was awesome, except for the parts when I thought I was going to be murdered.

Halfway through the gal told me to “smell” I was all “What?” and I opened my eyes and her hands were over my face like she was just about to smother me and I yelled “WHAT?” and she said, “I said ‘smell‘” and so I did and it was eucalyptus. I assume that’s some kind of aromatherapy but I have to think that the relaxation gained from smelling eucalyptus is not worth the stress you get from thinking you were going to be smothered.  Maybe it’s just me.  Then she rubbed the eucalyptus into my body.  Except by “rubbed” I mean “punched.”  I smelled like I'd been beaten up by a koala bear.

Then she started pulling on my limbs and pushing them back in and it was kind of like if a class of kindergartners were told to kill you using only their hands and feet.  Then she tried to dislocate my arm.  Not on purpose, but she kept doing this thing and my arm was getting crunchy(?) and so she pushed harder and then I realized that she was trying to align my shoulder-blade except that I’m sort of resistant to people trying to pull my arms off. Then I started thinking maybe she didn't really know what she was doing but she did have a really nice license, framed and hanging on the wall, so I assumed she was legit but that maybe she was trying to fix something unfixable and so I’m all, “Oh, it’s supposed to be like that.  You can move on”

Then she asked, “Um, have you ever had an allergic reaction to lotions or essential oils?” and I was all “No, why?” and she told me that my arm was really red and I was all, “Oh, that’s because YOU JUST TRIED TO DISLOCATE MY SHOULDERBLADE” but I didn’t say that out loud because at this point I was a little afraid that she was going to murder me, because who enjoys inflicting that much pressure on someone?  Sadists, that’s who.  But then it turns out that I am allergic to the oils, or that maybe I’m just breaking out in hives from the stress of my stress-relieving massage.

The only good part was when it was over and the gal was all “Make sure you drink a lot so you can flush your body of the toxins” and so I was all “Heck yeah." when I got home and I poured myself a gigantic glass of diet caffeine free Dr. Pepper and downed like 25 Advil and Dane said, “Water.  You’re supposed to drink water” and I was all “She was not specific“.

And that’s why there are so many typos in this post.  Because I’m so sore and tense not to mention bruised and dislocated.  That was not relaxing at all.  Next time I’m just skipping straight to the diet Dr. Pepper and the 25 Advil. I have been peeing a ton because apparently taking that many Advil's acts like a diuretic....so that must be flushing out all of the toxins right?

In the immortal words of Taylor Swift...I am never, ever, ever getting another massage as long as I live!!!

Husband Training: When will I ever get this right also a book review

Hi Mom,

I read this really great book the other day called "The Fault in Our Stars." You should read it when you get home...but don't read it now because I don't think its missionary fare. But anyone else reading this...go...run...read this book. It's really good. But be warned....make sure you have plenty of Puffs tissues on hand. The kind with the lotion because those don't chap your nose and believe me you will be blowing your nose...a lot!


So I was reading the book last night and this happened.

Dane: Holley! I could hear you sobbing all the way on the other side of the house.  What’s wrong?

me:  This book.  It’s so.incredibly. sad.

Dane:  Seriously?  You’re sobbing over a book?

me:  It’s terrible and beautiful and perfect and I’m pretty sure I’m never going to stop crying.

Dane:  The Fault in Our Stars?  huh?  It says it’s about terminal cancer patients in the very first sentence.  Why would you even read that?  You can’t watch Doctor Who without crying.

me:  No one with a soul can watch Doctor Who without occasionally crying.  And besides, it’s a teen book.  I thought it would be like Twilight, but with slightly less vampires.

Dane:  Seriously?  It’s just a book.  Calm down.  These people are all imaginary. Remember the lessons we learned from Mr. Rogers....Real....Imaginary.

me:  AND THEY’RE MY FRIENDS.  ALL OF MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS ARE VERY SICK, DANE,  AND I’D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU’D RESPECT THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION.

Dane:  You are so confusing.

Conclusion: Dane doesn’t understand how books work.

P.S. The week Pat is gone...do you want me to come be your companion? Because if you do, then you'll have to buy me an plane ticket. But Mom, I would totally sacrifice that for you, if that's what you wanted of course!