Tired-ness

a week since exams ended. now I am back in JB, back at home where I feel relaxed. haven't recovered fully yet, considering I keep waking up at 8am every morning to accompany my parents for breakfast. afternoons are always hard to fall asleep because I come online to settle 'business' and I haven't been used to taking afternoon naps.

6 days now and I already not know what to do. oh no~

*had a great time with June yesterday having dessert. more to come! XD

真的忘了

怎麼開始忘了
演唱：林隆璇，張芸京

琴鍵那麼重 我用技巧去彈奏
情緒那麼濃 我該用甚麼去快樂
隱密到最 後 在我失去了以後終於懂得
追夢若是片寬闊天空 只是我從沒抽離過

吉他那麼重 我已無力去彈奏
不想作什麼 誰能陪我清唱那首歌
不是我不懂 擁抱之後總是難以去承受
那些認真的美好都一閃而過

怎麼開始忘了 我 還能微笑
怎 麼開始忘了 我 還有心跳
那些黑色的玩笑 沒有受傷不會好
我們還在找 自己的生存之道

慢慢釋懷才能讓自己變好
朦 朧的話只是無聊的暗號
流言傳來傳去 不知何時平息
該如何去面對 那不重要

琴鍵那麼重 我用技巧去彈奏
情 緒那麼濃 我該用甚麼去快樂
不是我不懂 擁抱之後總是難以去承受
那些認真的美好都一閃而過

怎麼開始忘了 我 還能微笑
怎麼開始忘了 我 還有心跳
那些黑色的玩笑 沒有受傷不會好
我們還在找 自己的生存之道

慢慢釋 懷才能讓自己變好
朦朧的話只是無聊的暗號
流言傳來傳去 不知何時平息
該如何去面對 那不重要

怎麼開始忘 了 我(你) 還能微笑
怎麼開始忘了 你(我) 還有心跳
那些黑色的玩笑 沒有受傷不會好
我們還在找 自己的生存之道

慢 慢釋懷才能讓自己變好
朦朧的話只是無聊的暗號
流言傳來傳去 不知何時平息
該如何去面對 那不重要

Exam stress

this might be the last time I am going to talk about undergraduate-level examination stress. I pity my pea-sized brain that was pan-fried for the week and will be deep-fried by the end of this coming week. brain cells of acceptable quality are depleting at unprecedented rate, together with hair loss. of course the second-time experience of the 2 same papers multiplied the stress level.

this feels like somebody wanting to kill me but did not do it at one shot. a little hole is pierced, blood started dripping drop by drop and nobody is stopping the bleeding. soon enough, I will be dead; prior to that, I am to endure this whole slow and torturous process.

I tell myself that I can do it, by believing that I can do it.
I now hope that I can do it!

眼泪

哭
演唱：陈庆祥
只有真正懂得付出的人
才懂得何为哭 为何哭
再坚强的心 偶尔也会脆弱
心会痛 心也会感动
只有曾经真心付出的人
才懂得何为哭 为何哭
泪水要记得为真心保留
眼泪 别白白的流

***
妈妈问我：‘怎么曾祖母过世的时候，我好像没有看到你哭？’
我沉默不语，不知该如何回答。

其实我也是有血有泪的，我也会哭。
只不过我不喜欢让人看见我流泪。
装坚强，比爱哭软弱更适合我。
从小就很喜欢这首歌，挺有意思的~

Lenovo ThinkPad Edge 13

considering of changing my Dell XPS M1210 for a Lenovo. fascinated by the white one, although would prefer one with the scratch-proof matt surface of a typical IBM ThinkPad.

ok my Dell is 3+ years old and I would consider it to be a good-performing notebook. just that the battery died shortly after 2 years and I just don't want to spend the money of refreshing the cells. but I have just changed the OS to windows 7 and I think with a refreshed battery it would be just nice.

oh no what to do?
the temptation of a new machine... :S

the LAST assignment

Leonardo da Vinci once painted 'the last supper'. here I am talking about 'the last assignment' of my university life. degrees of angers and shock was portrayed at the masterpiece while mine was just a clear exhibit of I-finally-understood-what-AFW 3121-is-all-about. you see, great minds think alike! MWAHAHAHAHA.

this AFW 3121 is actually code named 'Investments and portfolio management'. last year when I was taking the unit for the first time I totally did not know what it was about. put part of the blame on the lecturer and the rest on me because I did not really pay attention since it did not manage to grab any of mine in the first place. :P

so this time round, being the second and I-cannot-screw-it-up-this-time, I manage to figure out the assignment by myself and browsed through the textbook for answers. not like I am confident of a 100% assignment but I am actually quite happy to know that I actually can understand what I wrote in that report. AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING I managed to get the whole report printed out 22 hours before its due. :)

so with the first and the last time I finished an assignment before due date, I think I am about to end university life SOON. like after 1 day's lessons and 2 exams.

She left.

一个礼拜前，她合上了双眼，离开了我们。
归土的时候一百岁（天地人各一岁，农历再加一岁），也该是时候了。
没有很痛苦，没有挣扎，就在冲完凉洗完头的时候仿佛睡觉般，安详地走了。

很想念她，却为她得到的解脱而感到欣慰。