The Past, The Present and The Future

Just last week I was complaining that I had probably ran out of steam blogging. I had nothing to write about then. I had blogger's block. So I ended up posting pictures and a YouTube link for a fabulous movie I watched. But yes, a week has since passed and I am back with quite a bit to bitch about. Where shall I start?

But first, NAHHH! Yes, instead of the middle finger, I've decided to put something closer to the real thing. A bit of graphic swear to kick off this blog post.

Why so rude ah? Why so lebih-lebih ah? Phuh! It has been a busy week for me. Traveling all over the place. Last Thursday and Friday was in Penang. No sex. Weekend was like nyonya doing housechores. No sex. Then Monday flew to JB for day trip. Tiring. And then Tuesday flew to Jakarta and only got back today. Tired and still no sex. Wah! Tired but very horny you know? And now, mom and dad are in town for a month or so. Whenever, they're in town, they usually stay with me during the weekend. Again, no sex. Cannot bring hot guys back home liao.... for the next four weekends. How? How? (Not that I always bring hot guys home la, in fact I can't quite remember when, or did I? But whatever it is, the thought, the possibility of it has been dashed....).

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The Past and The Future

As I collect my hand-carry bag from the security scanning machine at the Gate leading to the aircraft, I turned behind and saw a familiar face. A tall, fairly well built guy with quite a handsome face. Yes, I remembered him clearly. He caught me looking at him. I smiled and looked straight into his eyes. I winked. He was caught offguard for a moment. Puzzled that he was being cruised so forcefully and unashamedly. Then, he remembered who I was.

It has been such a long time since I've seen him or contacted him. Must have been like 4 years. We have a common friend (whom I have also lost touch) back then, and we were introduced by that common friend. At that time, I was still a virgin, and so was he. Nope, sorry, wrongly stated .... hehe... I am still a virgin now. So two virgins how? Ok ok.... I digressed a bit. At that time, we were relatively new to the plu scene. According to him, I was his second plu friend wor. Wah! I feel so terharu! Back then, we met up quite a bit for a short while, but for some reason, there wasn't really anything going on. Eventually, the friendship just died.

The aircraft was eerily empty for an international flight. I think only about 40 passengers, I counted. As we were lining up to get on board, I asked him where is he seated, so that I can come sit next to him and chat. 15D. I looked at my boarding pass: 15C. Wow! What a coincidence! How impeccable! After 4 years of non-contact, and of the 200 seats in the aircraft, we were assigned seats next to each other, only to be separated by the aisle! We laughed at it, and we spent the next two hours talking and catching up.

When we found out that we're going to be living in the same neighbourhood (he's shifting from PJ to a place just 5 minutes away from my place) by next month, we got even more excited about it. We're practically neighbours. Yes, there'll be another kaki to hang out with soon in the area.

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Banten, Indonesia

This time, my trip to Banten was relatively short. Thank goodness! I usually had a driver to take me to the work site, but this time I had two. One of them act like a bodyguard la. Wah! Everywhere I go, he follow me you know?! I never felt so safe before. He even told me he will take good care of me and assured me not to be scared.

So, on the second day, I treated them with food when they break fast at around 6pm.

Clockwise from bottom right: Sayur Asin Char Tahu, Ikan Bakar Gurame

Sayur Asam (in small bowl), rice, and Ayam Kalasan

On the way back to the airport, we passed by the poorer areas of Kota Tangerang. There were people washing their clothes by the drain. The water is so murky and filthy, but yet, these poor people use it to wash their clothes. Yes, shocking, but painfully true. We should be thankful that we didn't have to live under such deplorable conditions, with limited access to clean water.

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I came back today and went for BodyJam. But my usual Jam kaki was nowhere to be found. With their passport, they have migrated to the other branches, in search of instructors with good techniques and cues, as well as of course, in search of lengchai la. So, I bodyjammed today without them. Hmmp!!! Sindy has agreed to subsidize my passport upgrade, until now also keep quiet only. Cheh! I wonder what the future holds for my Jam kaki....

Good Morning Baltimore

This cute little tune got stuck in my head for the whole day!

Big Hair

What else better to do on a Saturday nite than to watch BIG stars with BIG hair singing and dancing the nite away? It's corny. It's campy. It's colourful. Love the music, love the moves, love the hair, love the drama queens, love the cute hot guys....

John Travolta in drag.

Big haired Pfeiffer

Yum yum.... James Marsden

Yummicious Zac Effron

Drool!!!

Younger and younger

Many people had told me that I don't quite look my age. But last night was the ultimate! As Fable got through the main entrance, I was stopped and asked to produce my IC as the bouncer insisted to look at the date of birth. At this ancient age, I still looked like an underaged school kid??? Even Fable got through! Haha!

Well, I take it as a compliment. I was a YOUNG beautiful sexy diva that night!

The Divas Don't Live Here Anymore

I can't quite remember how I got to know about it, but it was about 8 years back when I first made my way to CM trying to locate the happening club for the gay community in KL. It was daytime, and I was walking around the area trying to look see look see la. My heart was racing as I climbed the staircase to the first floor. It wasn't open, of course, but it had a heavily tinted glass door. I was young and very timid then, and hadn't quite come out yet. It had a very sinful look. Too much for me to bear.

Fast forward two years later, in 2001, when I started to blossom in full glory, like all if not most gay sinners, I just had to go and experience gay clubbing. I remembered quite vividly when I was touched by the whole experience. I went there with my two ex-colleagues. I even bumped into the Director of my company then (yes, surprise!).

It was the time when Kylie was the Queen of all Discos, especially the campy ones. The club was packed with all sorts of sinners partying away. Quite a number of sinners were taking a breather outside to get away from the heat, sweat, smoke, booze and loud thumping music. When the familiar addictive thumping base of Can't Get You Out of My Head started with that oh-so-catchy la la la, everyone outside, including moi suddenly jumped up (as if we're in a high jump competition), screamed Kylie!! (as if we've been possessed) and rushed (as if we've been chased by a ferocious dog) campily inside to join the rest of a worked up crowd. Now THAT is the power of Kylie.

The club became a regular haunt for me and my other dancing/clubbing partner, Fable, and we went there like almost every 1 or 2 weeks. There were times when we went there for 3 - 4 consecutive weeks! Other regular campy crowd favoruites at that time was Jenny From the Block (JLo), Stronger (Britney), Get This Party Started (Pink), In Your Eyes (Kylie), Love At First Sight (Kylie).... In no time, Fable and I progressed to become the Liquid Divas. We almost always dance on the podium. We attended quite a few Liquid trademark functions, such as the Beach Party and Back To School. But I didn't get to go to the Foam Party. I was out of country but I think Fable did. I'm so jealous!

Then the club expanded to include The Disco on the upper floor. Which meant more glorious dancing nites, bigger space and larger podium. Yes, more space for divas like us! But in spite of that, the crowd seemed to grow bigger too. For example, on the May Day event, it was so packed, smoky, hot and with so many shirtless sweaty muscle-bodied guys, I had difficulty breathing! Fable and I also had a new non-dancing partner, Alex, who refused to dance because he claimed he's too stiff (kononnya he's straight acting la....straight guys and straight acting guys don't dance, apparently). But in the power of Kylie changed that, and he soon became a dancing queen, to our surprise.

But I blossomed for only a short 2 years, to my disappointment. My energy level dropped, I was sleepy by 10pm and the music became unsuitable for divas like me. It probably died when the Kylie mania withered away too. Our frequency to the club (and the other new club with the same acronym) dropped quite drastically. Too old for this kind of stuff liao! Too old for the smoke, the crowd, the loud music, the pretentiousness.

When we heard it was closing/shifting, we thought that we had to go to reminisce the old times. Ant and Kit came along too, just like before. Alex joined us later. But there was something missing in the atmosphere. The divas don't live here anymore.

Where My Love Is

You should never have...
Kissed me, hugged me.
Caressed my face.

I should never have...
Kissed you, hugged you.
Caressed your face.

I don't do that.
For I've always known.
To tell apart.
What is love.
And what is not.

But I did.
'Cos you did.

In that moment.
I was lost in your touch.
Still, I should have known better.
What is love.
And what is not.
And soon I realized.
It wasn't.
For you.
At least.

But now I know.
What I didn't know before:
What my love is.
How my love is.
Where my love is.

What if....

I was standing there on the first floor of Bangsar SC, staring into nothingness, waiting for PC who was late to arrive. I was tired from Jam and from work. I startled a bit when this guy came over and asked what the time was in chinese. He was a small guy, probably in the early twenties, but could be younger. Sensing that I had difficulty understanding mandarin, he then asked in English. "It's almost nine," I answered as I showed my watch to him.

"Thank you."

When I looked up, he winked at me and motioned me to follow him. He walked towards the passageway that leads to the toilets. I was shocked. Dumbfounded.

He then whistled for me to come along. But I was still in a state of shock. What? Me? You want me?

He went past the emergency door that leads to the emergency staircase and toilets, so I couldn't see him anymore. He was waiting for me. I ignored him and looked out for PC who still hasn't arrived yet. But in my mind, I began to have naughty thoughts. What if I follow him? What if I just go see how daring he is? After all, I don't get this sort of 'excitement' all the time. Just go see see look look la. I have heard of those cruisy stories from friends. I have read about it on erotic stories sites. After all this time in my life, nobody wants me... now got people want to play play with me wor.... after all, I am a HOT dude! What if I go for a quickie? What if.... what if....

He was back to where I was standing, rather persistent, not giving up yet, and asked, "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yes, waiting for a friend," I replied.
"What time is he coming?"
"She should be here soon."

Sensing that I was disinterested, he politely said, "Oh, ok then. I have to go now. Bye." And he walked off.

I stood there, still waiting for PC. What if....

What A Feeling - Body Jam Fever

Recently, after every BodyJam session, we would spend like at least 2 hours discussing it! Is there really that much to talk about? Certainly..... about which release is nice la, about which moves are hiao or drama la, about which routine we missed doing la, about about which instructor is good, bad and ugly la, about which instructor is hot la, about historical classes la etc etc.

So adddicted am I that I actually went hunting for YouTube clips. So I landed with this one. I dunno who shot this clip but the music was from BodyJam 35, but with moves from BodyJam 35 (What A Feeling), BodyJam 37 (Jazz/rock) and BodyJam 39 (Dance For Life). How peculiar!

You Decide, Anything, Whatever: My Version

Well, most of us had probably read about "You Decide, Anything, Whatever: Three Answers From Women". But for me leh, lagi teruk, especially when I go out to makan with my girlfriend PC. We're both really indecisive (but I must admit that I am also very picky when it comes to food). We could loiter around for half and hour and still couldn't decide on what to eat!!! Very stressful one! This is how a typical conversation goes:

Me: Where to go for dinner?
PC: Dunno la. Where hah?
Me: Hmmm....

(5 minutes later)
PC: So how?
Me: Dunno la. No place to eat la. Sien already.... Erm....
PC: Nothing interesting to eat around this area one hor....

(5 minutes later)
Me: How leh? Where? Where?
PC: Let's go Hartamas la.
Me: But tonite saturday, parking very difficult leh.
PC: Oh ya hor. Then u suggest la.
Me: Dunno la

(and so on .... when the location has finally been decided....)
PC: What to eat?
Me: Anything
PC: Want to try Japanese?
Me: Dun feel like Japanese la. Expensive summore.
PC: Oh... ok.. Then?
Me: Hm.... anything but Japanese or vegetarian la....

(5 minutes later)
PC: where ah? Do you want to try that new Korean BBQ place. Not bad.
Me: Eee.... smoky la. DUn want.
PC: Then you suggest la. Me: Whatever la.

(5 minutes later)
PC: Errr....
Me: What about vietnamese noodles?
PC: Oh I just ate noodles yesterday. Maybe not. Want to try thai food then?
Me: Hmm.... a bit spicy la. I just got a bit better from my stomach problems la. U know la, I always got tummy problem one. Better not la
PC: Then what you want to eat???
Me: erm...

(5 minutes later)
PC: What about that one over there? Oh, but long queue.... hafta wait so long...
Me: ya lor.... hungry already leh.... where? where? Cin cai la

(5 minutes later)
Me: How? I heard that one quite good. But why nobody one ah?
PC: Dunno. Sure good or not?
Me: Ya lor, better not, scary dunno good or not. Afterwards not fresh.
PC: So how?
Me: You decide la....
PC: I decide??? You suggest la. Quick! Quick! So hungry liao.
Me: Hah??

(and so on.....)

Jam With a Difference

Oh! That cool masculine energy never experienced before. Orgasmic!

Up in the Attic

A cool comfy laidback ambience
Guys and gals sipping cocktails
All smartly dressed, looking their best
A pretty little lady with big voice was singing
Songs from the past, music of today

Everybody seems to know everybody
Geri as usual thoughtful and friendly

Genie waved around here and there
To tell everyone that he was there

Luck was certainly on Sindy's side
As the guy he eyed
Came over and sat by his side

Lisa was more 'in' than she claimed
From the manager to tiger
To the boy whom she met on the train

I sipped my long island tea
Just being me
Yawning away like a sleeping beauty
The bed was where I want to be

50 years on

Yesterday the country celebrated it's 50th anniversary of independence from British rule. But I came across a letter to the editor under the Man in the Street column in The Straits Times, August 28, 1957:

If a constitution were lopsided so that one section of the population were unfairly benefitted, the section that received the benefit would certainly declare that the constitution was best and that all the other sections should "shut up and accept" it.

Now 50 years on, despite the apparent superficial harmonious relationship of the peoples of this country, there lies a certain dormant divisive force underneath. Everybody talked about it behind closed doors. A few politicians occasionally risk bringing the subject up in parliament only to be told to "shut up and accept it".

We talked and read about it in the papers in 1957. Now, 50 years on, we can't talk and read about it in the papers. 50 years on, has anything changed? Have we really moved forward and matured? Was there really a reason to celebrate?