a quick reminder

i am gay..
that is all.

Secret Update

Wow, i still have a blog!? Feels like ages since i've last posted, prolly cause it has been ages!
ahhh time flies! faster than superman!

Anyway, this is a secret post....just for you.
I realise that things have not been going as planned lately.
Fights, quarrels, swear words, annoyance.....
it's becoming more and more frequent.
I know you and me have been purposely adding fuel to our fight...
each wanting each other to get even more and more angry.
Cause non of us wants to be wrong, we desire to be the right one, the one that is faultless.
But in the end, we end up not only hurting each other, but hurting ourselves too.

Life goes on....and we are left with two choices, to move on or fight on.
We have traveled along this path, holding hands for nearly a year and a half already.
We know each other so well, and that is what makes us stay together i reckon.
We both know that we truly love each other.
Every couple fights, but truly in love couples will be hugging each other at the end of the day.
Because at the end, we are both winners of the fight, because we still have each other.

I do not know how to truly express my feelings for you.
You have completely changed my life, completely...
You have shown me the true colours of the world.
You have opened up my eyes to the wonders of living.
Your smile and laughter, are what keeps me living on this life.
Being with you, holding your hands, makes me such a happy person.
I AM the luckiest person alive, no doubt about that.

For we may fight, but we will always love each other.
Fighting results in us being stronger in love with each other, because it reminds us how significant one another is. Cause without you ji, I will truly be dead.

I love you, and forever will, for eternity.
My girlfriend, my best friend, my baby, my Ji, my world, My life.
03.02.10

Honestly....

Your smile is all I need....
To cast away my doubts
To weaken my heart
To kill my anger
To brighten my day.

Your touch is all i need...
To release my tension
To distract me of everything

I am sorry for treating you the way i have been treating you.
I know I have said sorry over and over again,
but it just keeps coming back.
My anger and frustration has to end, for real.
I am starting to realise, I am an angry person.
I am a perfectionist in some ways.
I probably have ADD ?
I think all these contributes to my random and yet frequent burst of angers.
You do not deserve any of this, and I am sorry.
Sorry for putting you through all these episodes.

When i think about you and how you are always treating me so nicely, how you are so happy when you are with me....i break down.
Right now, I just want to kill myself. I just want to hurt myself. You are just too good for me.

How you take everything in and pretends nothing happens though it hurts you...it FREAKING KILLS ME. you should lash everything out on me! i deserve everything that you lash out!
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FREAKING AWESOME?
i am NOTHING compared to you!


I FREAKING LOVE YOU JI! always will!
bye! im off to your house to annoy you!

Insomnia

Its pretty late at the moment but i just can't sleep.
All I am thinking of is how you are feeling atm, whether you are having a good night sleep, whether you are having awesome dreams and stuff....
I wish i can read your mind...so at least ill know what you are feeling and how i can comfort you.

I love you ji,
and its because of love that makes me wanna make you happy 24/7.
I know i may be annoying sometimes when i keep asking whats wrong and stuff,
but its because i care about you and i just can't stop wondering whats bothering you and i will always want to try and at least cheer you up a bit.

I just wish i can sneak onto your bed and hug you in sleep now.
Just hold you tight so that you will feel secure, safe.
I want you to know that no matter how tough your life is, i will always be here for you.
you can rely on me, you can trust me, you can lean on me.

Deep down you know that i love you very very much.
Don't fight this thought, don't think it isn't true, because you know its true.

03.02.2010
19 more days.

Leave

before i go,
i would like to write you a poem.

A poem of love,
of truth
and of sincerity.

There was once a boy,
happy on the outside,
yet sad in the inside.

There was once a girl,
cute on the outside,
awesome in the inside.

Both of them never had a clue,
what 3rd of February of 2010 would do to them,
how this date,
although insignificant to many,
has changed both these two people,
for the better.

It brought him happiness,
a reason to smile always,
it is like a gust of cold wind,
in the middle of summer.
It hit him so hard,
yet it left him with no ordinary bruise,
it is a bruise of love.

It brought her EXTRA awesomeness,
that she was no longer perceived as miss awesome,
but miss EXTRA awesome.
However it also made her realise,
that she isnt the only awesome person in the world.
That she has finally found,
her other half of awesomness.

Together,
they will conquer life together.
Although life is tough,
they will always have each other,
and with that,
they will live a happy life,
together,
forever.

Follower

HELLLO MY ONE AND ONLY FOLLOWER!!! :)
hahhahahha! dont think i didnt realise u followed me ! :P
so tempting to BLOCK YOU! muhaahhaha

anyway! on a serious note...here goes :


Although we may have disagreements/fights sometimes,
I want you to know that my feelings for you will never change.
Although i may sound harsh sometimes and say hurtful things to you,
I want you to know that i do not mean it.
Although in life there will be times of ups and downs,
I want you to know that i will be right beside you all of the times.
Although it is unclear of our future,
I want you to know that i have a solid picture of my future with you in my mind all the time.
Although it may be hard to believe that i've truly fallen for you,
I want you to know that if i'm not, my blog, the place where i write about my feelings, would not be filled with posts of you.

Because all i ever want, is for you to be with me.
For us to experience life together,
For us to grow old and have wrinkles together,
For us to tackle our life problems together,
For us to be happy.

For i know i am happy, or even ecstatic, when i'm with you.
I hope you feel the same way too.

I am in love with you.
Please be mine, forever.
Never let me go.
For i will never do so.

How far would i go? Til the ends of the Earth, and back.

TnJ 030210.
A small beginning,
for a never ending love story.