Max is 5!

How can it be and where has the time gone?  The 10 pound baby I gave birth to is now a 58 pound 5 year old!   Happy Birthday, Max!

I told Max that he needs to stop growing and he said, "Mom, I can't do that."  I told then he needed to promise to always be my little boy and he was agreeable with that and gave me a sheepish grin and a bear hug.  I'm excited to see how he developing into his own little person with his own likes and dislikes but it is still sad and a bit scary to see how fast this is all happening.  It's been almost a year since I've been back to work full-time with my three 12 hours shifts per week and sometimes I question if that was the right decision.  Their little lives are happening and they are growing and changing and I'm worried that one day I will look back with regret that I wasn't home more.  Right now it seems to be working out.  I'm home in the morning with them and then Rob is with them in the evening.  I know THEIR needs are getting met but are mine?  Am I doing everything I can to be the best mom and to give them the tools they need to face this big world?  Is this the same fear of all moms?

This past week has been such a whirl wind with the visitations and funeral for Lloyd.  Max was having a little bit of a hard time with us being gone so much and crying so much when we were around that I just wanted his DAY to be FUN!  He was able to choose ANY place to go for dinner and he chose my least favorite.  Good thing it was his birthday and not mine!  So, we went to Chuck E. Cheese with a friend of his and he had a great time!  I did too after I choked down their pizza.  I can eat almost anything and that was pushing me over the edge.

I was feeling really bummed that I wasn't going to be able to make Max a birthday cake this year.  There was just no time.  But I didn't have to worry because a friend made one for us.  I  was talking to Cyndie at the visitation and she graciously offered to make a Bumblebee Transformer cake for Max and it rocked!  And Max LOVED it!

I just love this kid! 

About Max at 5 years of age:

He is all boy.  He loves super hero's but not girls.  He is getting more independent but not in the butt wiping area.  He likes to eat but is favorite line at dinner:  "I don't like that."  He prefers chocolate over candy.  He loves learning new words and has a vocabulary larger than Rob's (according to Rob).  He is very hard on himself and easily discouraged if he can't do something right the first time.  He wants Jesus to turn him into a super hero when he gets to heaven.  He is very smart, insightful and intuitive.  His favorite color is "anything but pink."  He makes me smile.

Happy Birthday, Max.  I love you to the moon and back and that is more than you will ever know.  I pray that God gives me the tools to raise to you be a God seeking and God loving young man.  A man that is strong yet sensitive.  A man that is honest and fair.  I pray that you always know who you are and are confident in what you do.  I pray that when troubles arise that you turn to God, who knows everything about you, and that you find your peace and comfort with Him.

I love you and I'm so proud to be your Mamma.

The best Grandpa EVER!

How quickly life changes.  I know this.  I experience this at work all the time.  I constantly have this nagging "when is it going to happen to me" feeling lurking in by being.  Well, on December 8th, it was my family's turn.  Rob got a call that his dad had collapsed at work and before we could even wrap our minds around what had happened, we learned that he had died.  My initial feeling was that of anger.  I was so mad that this had happened.  Rob's family was intact and was everything I didn't have growing up and now  his dad was gone.  I loved him and wanted my kids to know him.  I was so upset that I didn't get to know him better.  I wish I had asked more questions and just spent more time learning about him.  I can still hear in my head the sound of his voice greeting me at Thanksgiving.  "Hi Denise."

I also felt so very, very sad.   I was so sad that Rob lost his father and his best friend.  They had such a cool relationship.  They probably talked on an almost daily basis and Rob was pretty current on where is dad was on his road trip; when he would be loading or unloading; or his next destination.

The visitations and funeral were long and emotionally exhausting.  It was amazing though, to see all the people that knew and loved Lloyd.   People waited over an hour to pay their respects and some of Rob's friends drove over an hour to come and support him.  We felt so loved.

In the end, I still feel angry, sad, in disbelief, but also so blessed.  I'm thankful that I at least got to know him as much as I did and that all of my children had been born and were held by him.

I love this picture!

Grandpa and Max at the Hamilton Memorial Day parade

Max and Grandpa

Grandpa, Max and Leah

Max and Leah-  He wanted another grandaughter!

Isn't this cute?

Carving the bird-  Thanksgiving 2009

At the Griffins' Game

Grandpa and Max this past summer

Grandpa and Sarah

:-{

I'm so mad right now.  I'm so mad that my kids will not get to know their grandfather.  That's the story of my life, I did not want it to be their story too.  I'm so mad that I didn't get to know him better.  I'm so mad that I didn't hug him on Thanksgiving like I wanted to.

Priorities in check!

Thanks to a great friend, my priorities are in check and my Christmas tree and decorations are up!  And I'm so glad I did it!  I can't believe I even contemplated....

Bahumbug?

Is it bad if I don't decorate for Christmas?  I love the look; don't mind the work; dread the take down.  The first week of December is almost over with and I haven't done a thing because I've been so busy.  I could possibly do it tomorrow, but more likely it would be Monday before I got around to it.  I just feel like Christmas is a mere 3 weeks away.  Is it worth it at this point?  I'm thinking I might do everything but the tree.   We really have no good place in our house for the tree.  Last year we put it up in the bonus room but we are never up there.  If I did make room on the main floor Sarah would be all over it.  I don't know... I feel like it's terrible if I don't.   What to do?

What was I thinking?

I say that after every shopping trip I attempt with all three kids.  I'm not sure why I thought today would be any different.  Actually, it wasn't that I thought it would be any different despite my very small ray of hope, but more a valiant attempt out of pure necessity-  Rob was hunting and I needed groceries.

It started out good.  Remember before you had kids and the mom-van and you parked as far away from the shopping cart corrals for fear of getting a door ding?  Well, I've traded door dings for easy access to a shopping cart.  I'm still trying to convince myself that door dings are over rated.  Today is Saturday, a huge Meijer shopping day,  and I got a spot right next to the shopping corral and the lady that was parked next to me had just finished using the highly sought after shopping cart with the bench seat in front.  You know, the one that is capable of restraining 3 children?  I thought I had died and gone to shopping heaven! In my dreams I go to the store, my kids don't ask for anything and behave like angels.  I remember my grocery list, which has all my items organized in order by aisle and I find everything I need.  I have all my coupons organized and I have to wait behind no one in line to check out. When we leave the store my children hug me and say, "Thanks for buying us food mom."   In reality, I bribe the crap out of my kids in exchange for good behavior.  (Really, any behavior that allows me to get my groceries without someone wanting to call Child Protective Services on me)  Usually the bribe is food/snacks.  I'm fairly certain the will have some time of eating disorder due to the fact that I use food to "entertain" them.  At any given moment, one of them is usually having a melt down.  Today Sarah screamed about 90% of the time. I plastered a smile on my face and acted like what I was hearing was music to my ears.  She is my little Houdini and manages to wiggle her way out of any restraint applied.  She was mad that I wouldn't let her stand up in the cart.  Leah hat a fit because her left elbow was touching Max's right elbow.  Sarah puked/vomited/spit up the fruit punch I had given her (to "entertain" her) all over the foot rest part of the shopping cart.  Leah dropped her M&M's (the bribe) in the puke.   I had coupons falling out of my sweatshirt pocket.  I had a little old lady stop to ask Sarah "what's the matter?"  And I could have sworn I heard Sarah say, "My mom looks a little crazy, doesn't she?"  Another lady stopped to inform me that Sarah was getting out of her seat.  Um.  Thanks.   I did eventually make it to the check out lane where only some of my coupons worked.  It was a fiasco, like always, but I'm sure one day I'll be able to look back and say, "Those were the days."

Gearing up.

Hello Monday.  Of all the days of the week, you are my least favorite.  Nothing personal, we just don't jive that well.  I need a day after the weekend madness to just ease into the week and you just don't afford me that luxury.  I'd really like to trade you in for another Sunday.  Oh, what I'd give for another day of rest.  Maybe if I actually "rested" on Sunday, I could be more cordial to you, Monday.

This week is no different that any of the more recent ones but for some reason I feel like I really need to gear up for the busy-ness that's around the corner.  I work Monday, Thursday and Friday this week.  That really chews up most of the week.  On Tuesday I am making 10  chicken-broccoli-stuffing casseroles for my  meal exchange at work.  Wednesday is chock full of errands preparing for the kids birthday party with my side of the family on Saturday and Rob's side of the family on Sunday.  Somewhere in there I need to do laundry, clean the house, make some food and maybe throw in a kid cleaning x3.  I've learned when I look at the whole week and all that needs to be done, it looks much worse than if I just take it one day at a time.  “Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. . .” Proverbs 30: 7-9, NIV.


It's going to be busy, but it's also going to be a great week!

Sweet Sarah is ONE!

Today is very bittersweet.  I am so happy to be celebrating the first birthday of my baby but I know it is the last "first" birthday I will celebrate with my children.  After we were done eating the cake, Rob took the number 1 candle and put it on the counter and said, "I guess we won't need this anymore."  I used that candle with all three of my kids and it just hit me hard there will not be another "first" birthday at our house!  Never fear, I'm saving the candle for their 10th, 11th, 12, etc., birthdays!  How cool will that be!  I'm sure by then it will only be cool in my eyes, not their's, but they'll have to humor me.

Now that I have the sentimental stuff out of the way it's time to C e LE bRa Te!  Sarah is ONE!  Today we had just a small little family party.  I made home made pizza and Rob's parent's came over to celebrate with us.  When Max turned one I made his first birthday cake.  From then on I decided to make it a tradition.  Because my kids birthdays are in October, November and December it seems like I'm making a cake every other week in the fall, but it certainly is worth it!  I want my kids to have those special memories and know how much I love them!

For no reason other than I thought it was cute, Sarah's cake was a "Moo" cake, as Leah referred to it.

As for the rest of her birthday, she was really pretty clueless.  She was just happy to have her cake and eat it too!

Taste Testing

Let the eating begin.

Because Sarah really isn't "into" anything, I tried to pick a cake design based on her personality.  She really likes to clown around so I thought a clown cake would be a fun first birthday cake.  But have you every googled clown cakes?  Do so only if you want a clown nightmare.  They are just creepy.  So, I opted for the cow!

But she is our little clown.  And she's a dream.  Far from a nightmare.  She has been an easy baby and her personality is just shining.  She has a pretty deep voice and loves to make this loud, deep, hoarse "ahhhhhh" sound and then top it off with a giggle that requires her to rev up with her eyes squeezed shut!  It is so cute.

She has her one year check up next week.  I'm guessing she and Leah are about 3lbs apart.  Sarah is wearing 18month- 2T.  It won't be long and the girls will be wearing the same size!

Sarah is so close to walking.  She is talking steps on her own is cruising along everything.  I bet in a matter of 2 weeks the crawling with be a thing of the past.  I'm ready for this and for her to get up off the floor.  I know she's ready!

My dear, sweet Sarah, I am looking forward to this next year with you; to see how your personality grows and develops; to cherish your daily smiles and giggles.  I pray for another year of good health and a lifetime of love.  I pray that you grow to be a strong, independent woman that loves God and seeks him in everything you do.  I pray that God grants me the tools to be the best mom and teacher to meet your needs.  I love you, honey.  With all my heart.

Maybe my favorite picture ever.

Happy Halloween!

I knew Halloween was October 31st.  And I knew that we were going to have our 4th annual Halloween Party but for some reason, it still snuck up on me!  Here are some pictures.  I have found I cannot be the party planner and the party photographer.  I need a few more arms to be able to do that.  So I really didn't get any good "party pictures."

But here are some cute pictures of my little trick-or-treat' ers.

Optimus Prime, Little Lady Bug, and Spidermangirl

I picked out a super cute pig costume for Leah.  But she wanted nothing to do with it.  She wanted to be "spyman."

My little Pumpkin modeling costume #2

Love this picture from the party.  Do you see Leah in the background?
No matter how many times we do this game, it is still the kids FAVORITE!

Totally forgot to take a group shot before it got dark.
Next year I'm adding a few extra arms as my halloween costume!

The Harvest.

Summer is over and Fall has arrived.  The final fruits of the garden have been harvested but the yield was small.  It certianly wasn't a great year for us.  Our tomatoes were terrible and our beans neglected.  I'm so mad I didn't have time to can green beans!  It was so nice to pull a jar out of the pantry to enjoy for dinner.  Next year I'm going to be more on top of it.  I think it will help, too, that the kids will be older.   Anyway-  I did manage to get a couple of salsa canning sessions in!  I don't remember exactly how many quarts I canned but probably around 50 or so.  And this years theme was sweet and spicey.  Hopefully that will get us through until next summer!

Simply Irresistable.  (Yes, I know it's JUST salsa!)

So pretty.

And the fall fruits:

And this past week, with the wonderful help and expertise of my mother-in-law, managed to can roughly 60 quarts of applesauce.  I just can't go back to the the store stuff.  And all the canning makes me feel a little pioneer womanish.  She's my idol.  If you don't know her, check out her blog.  She can cook, she can take photographs (good ones), and she is a funny and great writer!

Jonagolds, Empire, and Crispins

The official apple washer

Prepping

Can you smell?  Oh. So. Yummy.

The taste tester

And we're done!

Happy Birthday, Leah!

Two years ago today, in a delivery room at a community hospital, a doctor held up a baby he had just helped deliver. The father inspected the "parts" and the announcement was made.  "It's a girl!"  That little baby born on October 2, 2008 was our sweet Leah Grace.  And my life was changed forever.  My heart will never be the same!

The past 2 years have just flown by.  Days pass.  Seasons change.  I can't believe how time flies.  Leah is growing up so fast.  Since today is her special day this post is dedicated just to her.  Here' a little update.

Leah's Loves:

Her Curious George Monkey

Snuggling and Cuddling

Her "boppie" (pacifer)

Her blanket

Chocolate milk

Playing "mommy"

Her little sister

Her brother when he is not picking on her!

Leah's Dislikes:

Not getting her way

Having her hair washed

Certain food, certain days, no rhyme or reason

Her brother when he picks on her

Not getting her way (yes, I know that's been stated already but I'm restating it for emphasis.)

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  She is sugar.  She is spice.  Leah is absolutely a lover.  She has an endless supply of hugs and gives them freely.  I love when she come up and wraps her little arms around my leg or when I’m holding her and she squeezes me around the neck and give a little grunt.  Oh, how I love her hugs.  Leah is so affectionate, loving, caring, sweet.  But she is sassy!  She can scream and throw a fit like no other.  She's a girl that knows what she wants.  That's good, right?  (Just say yes!)  I'm hoping once she is able to communicate better verbally, these little screaming fits will cease.   

About those verbal skills.  She is talking up a storm and loves trying out her new words.  She is even stringing them together for 3-5 word sentences.  This is such a fun stage!

Her most noticed features are her hair and eyes.  Her hair is light brown and hangs to the middle of her back already.  Her eyes are big and blue.  People constantly comment on “that head of hair” or the “pretty blue eyes.”  I think she is one of the cutest kids that ever lived but I might be just a bit partial ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥!

Here are some pictures of her and the Curious George monkey cake I made.  I decided when Max was little to make it a tradition to bake and decorate a cake just for the birthday person on his or her birthday!