So, I have found out that if I was to be a fictional character, I would be Georgia Nicolson. If you haven't read any books from her series, you should. It is basically the diary of a 14-year-old British bird, and basically it is the story of my life (had I grown up in England). And basically we have merged personalities, so I now use about 100% of her vocabulary.
Update on my life. I still work at the State Hospital. I still love it, kind of. That's about it.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Why I Have to Get Married
For the past week or so I've had these random bug bites on my arms and legs. I jokingly told people that there was a spider in my bed. Then two nights ago, at 3:00am, I was reading in my bed, and out from under the comforter came a 50-cent-piece-sized spider, which was making a B-line straight for me. It wasn't a Wolfe spider with long legs, no, it was a fatty spider who was probably pregnant will millions of little spiders babies inside of it. Anyways, I have never moved that fast in my life. I jumped out of my bed and under my breath stated "Are you serious?!" because it was 3:00 in the morning and I was being attacked by a spider. So I frantically searched for a flip flop. Once I found one (I was a little disoriented), I had to search through my blankets for this mammoth of a spider. I couldn't get it near the wall to smash it, so I had to go get toilet paper to smash it. It made a huge crunch sound and I debated whether to throw the smashed spider in the trash or in the toilet, I mean what if I didn't smash it all the way and it crawled back into my room? "Whitney, your crazy" is what I told myself and put it in the trash.
As I returned to my bed, I did the cockroach shake to everything on my bed (for those of you who do not know what the cockroach shake is, it is the shaking out of all your bedding every night before you go to bed. I learned how to do it in Romania from Candice Cheney Carter). Anyways, so I was fuming about having to smash this spider. Basically my plan to live with Katie Cullen for the rest of my life went down the drain because Katie is the type to catch and release the spiders. That won't do. They need to die. I realized then that I have to get married so I don't have to deal with spiders anymore. You see, for the past few months I have been considering the single life. I guess this is God's way of saying I need to date.
Lessons Learned:
I can't be single for the rest of my life.
One of my dating credentials is that you must be ok with or act like you're ok with killing spiders.
As I returned to my bed, I did the cockroach shake to everything on my bed (for those of you who do not know what the cockroach shake is, it is the shaking out of all your bedding every night before you go to bed. I learned how to do it in Romania from Candice Cheney Carter). Anyways, so I was fuming about having to smash this spider. Basically my plan to live with Katie Cullen for the rest of my life went down the drain because Katie is the type to catch and release the spiders. That won't do. They need to die. I realized then that I have to get married so I don't have to deal with spiders anymore. You see, for the past few months I have been considering the single life. I guess this is God's way of saying I need to date.
Lessons Learned:
I can't be single for the rest of my life.
One of my dating credentials is that you must be ok with or act like you're ok with killing spiders.