Holy Cow! He's 10 months old!

For Goodness sake, a year ago you could not have convinced me I needed a baby no matter what you did, and I was 7 months pregnant! I really struggled with the reality of having Rowan and I was one unhappy girl for most of the pregnancy. I don't think too many people liked me much then. Even up to the morning he was born I was not ready for a baby. They always say things change in that first moment and that is when you fall in love with your children. It always happened a little different for me, I bonded with my three previous babies when I was carrying them and was prepared for them and excited to meet them when they were born. I loved them before they were born, having them was like icing on the cake, but I already felt I knew these little people. My emotions toward this baby before he was born terrified me, I really feared that I was not going to like this kid. While I was laying in the OR waiting for them to announce the baby had been born (most nerve wracking 20 minutes of my life!) I tried really hard to come to terms in my own head, not sure if that worked, then he was brought around the curtain and showed to me I remember being a little shocked, I had never seen one of my babies so fresh, he was soaking wet still and covered in blood and vernix, the sheet the nurse was holding him in had fallen in his face so I could not see what he really looked like, he was fussing though and he looked really tiny. I knew then he was about the same size as Maddox. It didn't take long for me to feel emotions start to fall into place, the next days and weeks were very different from the other boys and it's been much more of a journey for me to have this little boy in my life.
So, one day Ben and I were sitting there watching Rowan play on the floor and Ben said, "I wonder if Rowan would fit in the sleeping bag box?" I stuck him in the box and he liked it quite a bit, he played in there pretty good for a while.

It worked well as a car or a sled, is that little smile cute or what? He did not get the Sass eyes, those eyes are from my side of the family, not me though, I think they came from Nana ;-)

He stood and waved the flaps back and forth for a while and just laughed, he thought that was the funniest thing ever! This little boy has personality just oozing out of him, he is so hilarious, he's a complete ham and he cheeses everybody up. He is always smiling, but very sensitive and emotional. He is so sweet and he loves to snuggle. He is definitely a handfull and keeps me on my toes way more than any of the older ones did, everything goes in his mouth so I am always doing a finger sweep and pulling various (sometimes really gross) things out. I fell in love with Rowan pretty quickly and have only enjoyed him more and more as he gets older and grows into a toddler. He's certainly made my life more challenging and tested my ability to handle everything going on. He's also made me laugh and brought a lot of joy to our family, he's forced me to take things less seriously and relax. Rowan is the best gift I never knew I wanted. I needed him more than I knew, strangely enough, he has made me a better person. I know all of my kids have changed me in some way and I really do love them all the same amount, but the relationship I have with each one is different and they are all such individual people. They are each amazing in their own right. I am so happy that Heavenly Father blessed me with these wonderful boys.

He finally decided he wanted out and tipped the box over on its side so he could crawl out. I really thought he would be walking by now, guess he REALLY likes to crawl. He is super quick too, makes a Bee line for the back door as soon as he figures out the baby gate is down.

Semester End Celebration

After all our hard work this semester Enny decided that we all needed to relax a little and unwind. So, she set up a party at the Cotton Bowl in Casa Grande. I took Deacon and Rowan to Maggie's house, where she had a babysitter already lined up (and she lives like a mile from the bowling alley) and we met up with Enny. Kerrie came later.

Me, Maggie and Enny. Actually, reverse that order. Kerrie showed up later and Kerri had to be at Drill with her husband. Maggie is single and has 4 kids, all 3 of us are headed for Nursing Programs. Maggie struggled the most this semester with obstacles coming up outside of school. Poor woman had 2 different kids break their arms, a major car accident, flooding throughout her house, legal issues with her grandchild, you name it, Maggie had to deal with it. She is so cool, calm and collected, she never freaked out or fell apart, just kept going. And she still ended the semester with a B! I am telling you, these are amazing women!

This is Enny Bradshaw, she is from Indonesia and is a former model. She had lived in the US for about 3 years and is married to a man from Indonesia as well, she says he is very "Americanized" though. She is a fabulous cook and I think she can make anything. I am surprised she does not weigh more. She brought food to class every single day and I think she ate at least something every time I saw her. She has a ton of energy and she is very sweet, sentimental and caring. Enny is smart as heck, she was the other A in the study group. I cannot imagine trying to go to school in another country with the language barrier. She is not afraid to ask questions though and she makes sure she knows what she is talking about. We had some pretty hilarious incidence of misunderstanding between the 5 of us in study group this semester, there were a few times we ended up in tears from laughing so hard. When I first met her, she told me I could remember how to say her name because it's like "Anytime, Anywhere, Anyplace, Anyone." She adores Rowan, calls him her little "boyfriend," I took the boys with me to several study groups that she attended and she would always scoop up the baby and talk to him and offer him food (she knows how to speak Rowan's language Lol He loves Enny). I am trying to make it to her house one day this week to hang out, maybe tomorrow....

Don't Ask...

After Kerrie G showed up. She had a wake or something like that to attend. She is wearing the necklace I made for her, I ended up having to lengthen hers, I knew it was gona be too short! I am also wearing the one I made one for me, mine has all of their colors on it, the only one I left out was black because it really did not match.

Last Day At CAC!

I can't believe that this day actually came. Unfortunately I was not able to walk away from Central Arizona College with a diploma in hand as I would have preferred, however, my schooling is not complete and will continue in Minneapolis. (I have a hard time writing that out, it makes it too real and it sounds way too much like a fictitious city from a comic book, like "Metropolis") The last day of school for me was last Thursday, May 13th, I had one final to take that day and that was it.

This was after my business final. I seriously considered skipping the thing all together, but somehow, as simple and logical as this class was, even with me getting A's on literally every assignment, the way she did grading I would have gotten a 'B' if I had not taken the final! Don't you love it when there's a catch like that! It took me a total of 25 minutes (50 questions), I went into it without studying at all (woops!) and still got an 84% on it! So, I ended the semester with all A's again!

This is the clock tower that you see as soon as you get on campus, told me every morning if I was late or not. Fortunately, the one place I am very good at getting to on time is school, I did not miss a single class this semester! Can't learn it if you are not there!

I saw commencement set up and couldn't help taking a picture. I wish I had looked into getting a certificate or something at least before leaving the school, I am sure I even had enough credits without taking any more classes. :( I like CAC's logo and their colors are not too horrible. I will miss this school, I started my college education here and I learned a lot about myself sitting in those classrooms. Found out what I am made of and met some really wonderful people.

I had to get a picture of this. This is at the entrance to the campus, when you turn off of Woodruff onto Signal Peak, there is a 'Central Arizona College' sign on either side, one has an LED sign behind it, the other has this Saguaro Cactus. I won't see a single one of these in Minnesota, they only grow in Arizona and New Mexico.

The Five Non-Blondes Exchange Gifts!

This is actually supposed to go at the end of this, but I can never get it to upload pics anywhere but at the top of the post, so sorry! This is the necklace I made for me that matches the other girls. I have all their colors accept the black and I added green for me. Would have done ruby cuz that's my birth stone, but you got any idea how expensive rubies are? Yikes!

So, the story behind this Chemistry study group that I was in this semester. I usually don't do anything school related in groups. I tend to stick to myself, study when I get time and work at Michelle pace, which is a bit scattered and full of multitasking and interruptions. So, after the second Chem exam the girl sitting next to me saw my grade (I got a 103% on that test and at the time I was ranked #1 in the class) and said she was going to drop because she had gotten a 33% on the test. I managed to talk her out of it and convinced her that if she would let me I could help her bring her grade to at least passing, that late in the semester I knew I couldn't get an F to an A but I could probably get her to a B. (I know, cocky of me, huh!) She agreed she would come to study groups and I agreed I would do everything I could to make Chemistry make sense to her. The other 2 members of our lab group had been struggling as well and unbeknownst to me, had been meeting with her to study all semester. They had not asked me because they thought I was antisocial (I felt bad about that but they were right! I was still crabby about the baby then) and they thought my name was Melissa. Our teacher had always referred to me as Tuttle and they had never heard my first name. So, we started that week and met 2, 3, sometimes 4 nights a week. I sometimes took the kids, sometimes didn't. We arranged and paid babysitters, juggled schedules to accomodate, tried to appease men who got mad at us for being gone so much (love you Benny!) and studied our little butts off. I spent hours standing at the white board writing out and balancing equations, asking questions, reinforcing information. We had one test where they all got every single equation worked out perfectly, they missed silly questions, but those equations they had DOWN. It was extremely rewarding for me and helped me to gain back some lost self esteem, I learned a lot about myself and I gained some loyal friends in the process. I will always remember these four strong women! Kerrie Gordon, Kerri Lyons, Enny Bradshaw and Maggie Espinoza. And the woman leading us all, Marilyn Edelman.

About a month ago I decided I needed to do something for these girls to thank them for giving me so much emotionally. They all kept thanking me for doing study group with them (it eventually became mine, I was the one deciding on times and places and dates, sometimes going to the school 4 nights a week to meet someone for chemistry study group) and I kept thanking them for coming. They are all so unique, I wanted to do something that was related to them as individuals, so I asked for birthdays and went from there. What could I do with a birthdate? I could get a sun sign, a birthstone, a birth flower, chinese zodiac, numerology...hmmmm....so, I asked for a favorite color and preferred metal. I was thinking about a collage for each one of them, play to your strengths, right? I came up with the idea for a necklace one day when I put on my "ice" necklace from my Mom. It's got these great fat glass beads that look like partially melted ice cubes, I wear it as a source of strength. Like she's rooting me on in the background. I thought that is what I need to give these girls, confidence in themselves. I used their favorite color, their birthstone (or as close as I could get to it) color and their zodiac sign on the necklace. the large pendant is all 12 of the zodiac signs. That is a nod to me, I am an astrology girl. I wanted it to mean more than just beads on a string, I wanted them to know I thought about what went into it. So top left is Maggie, favorite color is pink and sapphire is her birthstone (that is actually cobalt though, sapphire is EXPENSIVE). Top right is Kerrie G, favorite color is purple, birthstone is torquoise or blue topaz, Bottom left is Kerri L, favorite color is black and her birthstone is yellow topaz, she also prefers gold over silver. Bottom right is Enny, her favorite color is also pink, but yellow and green are also favorites, her birthstone is diamond (she got crystals instead).

This is what each girl got in her gift bag. The frame has their zodiac sign and their purpose written out, their birthstone and what it means, their name and birthdate and their birth flower. I gave them each music that I study to, I chose an album for each girl that was by a band they probably did not own but fit their personality. They all got Lady Gaga because I have been studying to her consistently all semester, Maggie got Beyonce "I Am...Sasha Fierce," Kerrie G. got One Republic "Waking Up," Kerri L. got P!nk "Funhouse," and Enny got Flyleaf "Memento Mori." They all got their necklace, an index card box with a package of index cards in it as well as a little bag of paper clips, a mechanical pencil eraser and mechanical pencil lead. They each got a nametag that said "Hi, my name is Melissa," I gave them each the same kind of mechanical pencil I have so they can have their own "magic pencil" and a sharpie to make notecards with. The little boxes with the bows are baby food containers from Rowan that I cleaned out, they are lined with tissue paper and filled with werther's chocolates or hershey's cookie's and creme kisses.

This one is Kerrie Gordon's. She got one extra gift from me, the Spin Pins. I found them and I love to use them for school and studying and she's the only other girl with long enough hair to need them. She was the one that started all this and worked the hardest for that B!

A close-up of Miss Enny's. She is such a darling girl. She is from Indonesia and she's just amazing. She gave me Tiramisu last night, it's delicious, I am keeping it all for myself! SOOOO GOOD! She's a fabulous cook, she really should go into culinary, the only other person I know who cooks more and better than Enny is my mother and you just can't touch my mom, she's the best cook in the world to me!

This one came out really cool. I was not expecting it to be quite so pretty. I have learned that you trust your gut when it comes to color, let it work with the other colors in the pallet and you will be able to see how to buffer them, hence the silver, the black and white in back and the cream of the roses are really not complimentary and right up close they look awful together, but throw that silver in and they both pop and they look great together. Her necklace surprised me too, it looked really good on her and the colors worked.

This was the gift I got from the 3 girls in my lab group. They made me cry, this was so sweet of them. They were just as thoughtful as I was. Everything in this basket is meant for me to be able to use it only, not for my family! =) I love that. My favorite perfume (that I have not had in 5 years) is in there, there's a $50 gift card for Victoria's Secret (that box is SOOO cool, I'm keeping it!), several different hair products that Maggie is going to teach me how to use (I also get a hair cut), a picture frame and a big mug full of hershey kisses. I also got 2 movie passes from Enny. (Gona take my man to see Iron Man 2, I think). What a great group of women, this really taught me the power that we have and how positive interactions can change your whole outlook! Thanks for believing in me, ladies, and showing me how to believe in myself!

FINALS Week!!!!!

Finally, here we are! Last week of the semester. This is always the weirdest week for me. It's so stressful, there's so much going on, I pull at least one all nighter during the last week, there's all that review and then panic when you realize you don't remember everything! I only have one final, thank goodness. But that does not mean the week has been any less busy or stressful. It's always kind of a bittersweet week for me because I like school so much, I don't mind going or being there, but when I am in school my whole house goes to crap and I have a hard time balancing the kids so it's a relief when the juggling ends. I need a break for a little while, althought I am not really sure that is a break either, sounds like more work...

This is what I look like at 4 a.m. after studying chemistry alone for 6 hours and working out every equation again and again. After all, I promised Mrs. Edelman I would get the other girls in my study group ready for the final even though I don't have to take it. I think I am way too nice! :)

This would be what the table looks like at 4 a.m. after I have been studying chemistry for 6 hours straight. And no, the other stuff on the table is not clutter, everything there came right out of my backpack or the fridge (the redbull). Right there I have 3 different homework assignments, a quiz, my chemistry book, my study guide and the solutions manual. Whew! That's a lot of thinking. That green pancil is known as the "magic pencil" to my study group, Kerri claims it knows all the answers. ;) I wish.

My Mother's Day

I had a pretty good Mother's Day this year, some of the past ones have not been so great. I got chocolate first thing in the morning from my guys and I was planning to go see my Mom as soon as she got out of church (initial plan was to go to church with her but I got all messed up on my assignments with school so I had to catch up before I could leave for her house.) I didn't end up leaving until almost 2:30 p.m. because the kids kept pulling me away from school. I talked to Cambria on the phone before we left then we went to my parents house for a little while and just kind of hung out with them. We got to talk to Marx and Maddox on skype and Cambria's family as well. We saw the fat baby Lydia, she's absolutely adorable and as fat as a baby should be. Apparently she is being pretty nice to her Mama too, which is wonderful. From Mom and Dad's house we went to Travis and Brook's and had dinner with them, watched the Suns game (yes, they won) and then we played the Wii for a while.

Rowan crawled around in the back yard for quite a while, he was delighted with the grass. At one point he had a rock in his mouth, one in his hand and some grass in the other and he was happy as a clam. Little weirdo.

YES!! That is Rowan standing all by himself. This is his favorite trick right now, I really don't like it. As cute as he is, he is way too little to start walking and guess what comes after standing.....

Deacon being his usual, adorable self. Love that little face.

Oh, that little Jack-Jack is so stinking cute! He has the most pinchable cheeks. He's such a fun little boy, it seems like Jack laughs all the time.

Rowan fell asleep snuggling in Daddy's arms. This is incredibly rare, he never falls asleep anywhere but the carseat and his own bed.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....The rest of us were watching Will show us how to play the ski-jump game on the WiiFit that lucky dog, Travis won at the gym.

Will was actually pretty good at it. After watching this game being played by both adults and kids I could see how this video game console could be a real benefit for family activities in this techno-age we live in. Everybody who tried it seemed to have quite a bit of fun and it was fun to watch.

It was great to have Ben there, he usually can't make family gatherings because he has to work. This time we were super close to his work though and he got off right at dinner time. For having such terrible balance, he did pretty well with this game. I love that he's still in his work uniform. :)

Travis and his beautiful wife and kids. That's Brook and Will in back, Jack on Brook's lap, Miss Charly in the middle up front and Travis on the right, trying to ignore me taking his picture.

OK, I admit, this is my favorite picture of the entire night. I love that he is on his toes! He totally got into it! You are the best, Dad! This was so much fun. The other great thing that happened that night was me and my Mom bursting into a rendition of "Oh, Lonely Peas!" at the exact same moment in the middle of dinner. Great Mother's Day!!!! Thanks, guys!

Happy Mother's Day!!

I got Mother's Day cards from Marx and Maddox a few days ago in the mail and I got one from Deacon and Rowan today. It's Deacon and Rowan's on the left, Maddox in the middle and Marx on the right. I am keeping them forever. Absolutely precious and invaluable, those are Maddox's lip prints on the front of his, how cute is that? Marx put a little pile of "M&M's" inside and the front says Happy M & M Day and that's an M & M on the front. :) I sure did get some good little boys. Love those kids.