Ouch!!

Fell... within that 1 sec i fell, i felt that i've gone back being a small boy. I continued to stare blank into the sky for awhile then i just recover. What happen is like this... My friend called me while i was cycling in camp and so i act skill so i use 1 hand to ride. However, i've forgotten to revise the speed. and when i realise, i just brake, and its the wrong brake and i flew... whoosshh~~ got some scratches and blood.. hoho... fall down and got up. LOL... however its fun.

We seems to have done a mini duathlon. Swam, cycled like 16km? and also then adventure race with our bike into the jungle bashing here and there...

I am so tired of this tiring world actually. i can really feel why my friend wanted to end it alr... tired. real tired of getting up early to toll and rest in the night and do the same everyday. only difference we wanna lie to ourselves are go drink coffee with friends, go clubbing, those are like external... dunno what i talking.. just some immediate thoughts that i have. scary right. i am afraid too..

to be re-on to track

lost and still very lost. Miss Liew Yiling, u did this to me and Joel. Thats why we are lost. You asked me not to let the ghost of the past haunt me but u are joining them against me. Why?!? Please let me know really what happen that night? Please by anyway by any means..

Still felt sad and depressed. And definitely its not an excuse for not doing my work in camp. But well, i guess some will think it is but i don't care. Last night, Leong wai ask me what's bothering me, just say out i say none. But I will say out here i guess. what's bothering me is of cos Yiling. I really dunno. Even though she is gone, i still worry her, her afterlife. feel very pain. Many will say that this pain will go away but yet I guess and i can feel it that it will tag me for the rest of my life.... scary as it can be said.

ARGH!!!!

let's put that aside.

Last night chatted with Gerard. Yeah!! He wanna go SIM too. And we promised to enrol together. Hope can get into marketing and put up my brother's proj and we get distinction. LOL... ok, think too far. very bad.. LOL...

peace and quiet

to come to think of it, i guess i would say she have finally rest in peace. I really hope she is happy as its will be a mystery to us and till the day we meet again that is when either I go up or i go down, my friend.

very tired after everything. Me and joel was very tired before and it was like a few consecutive days. however, after that, this things happened again and i think the rest period for me and him isn't really that much. As for now, the tireness have already acculmulated in my heart, my soul and my shell. SO i really wanna sleep and rest in an hotel and sleep for the whole week. hmm.. hotel... I think JOEL!!! Is that a good ideal? LOL... kinky leh... LOL.. like gay littat. lOL...

Just wanna have a good rest. really a good rest. Maybe this is what she wants too but i still feel the pain.

Every now and then

Blog blog blog... Just hope technology reaches the place she have gone so that she can see my everyday life. Yes, i cannot forget. This pain is worse than ending a relationship.

Last night went to HOME. A big place and a nice place to chill. Kind of bewildered by the sound system. It is very good. haha.. less than 1hr, me and joel sorrow burns deep with finishing the bottle of chivas. I guess when you are in the state of grieve, u can beat anyone without getting drunk. LOL...

Try to smile, try to laugh. Can I? She wants us to be happy for her, she wants me not to let the ghost haunt me since the past get me. But she is now part of it. LOL... funny right. LOL..

Many things. We have yet to complete with each other. Where's our promise of outing? Fishing? Learning of Hip hop? Me and Joel haven teach you shuffling! What about the Thailand trip? Just hope u just wake up and tell me. I don't care u turn into what. I just wanna know the real reason. WHY?!?!?!!

is it really what it seems to be

Yes i am alright. Actually i am questioning myself since yesterday. Misplaced of things, got into lift wanna go up, press down and then up and then forget to press the floor i going and stood there for awhile then realise it. Seriously, i have to question myself everyday. Am i alright? There is this thing called Sub-conscious Sadness. I guess I still cannot differentiate it yet.

Just hope and pray i will be really fine...

有一种异性叫温柔

这种异性之间的友谊确是存在的，并且它的名字应该叫做——温暖。

当你高兴时，你会第一个想到他，把你的快乐告诉他。而他会比你更加高兴， 他会陪你一起兴奋、一起开怀大笑。

当你伤心时，你也会第一个想到他。他不会和你一同悲伤，而会 用他特有的方式，给你鼓励、给你体贴，让你在他的关怀中感到丝丝温暖，在不知不觉中抚平你心灵的创伤。
当因为你的固执而伤害了自己时，他会大声地训你，甚至会骂你几句，但 你也从不会记恨，甚至你体会到的是 一种暖暖的心意。同时，你也会为他而拿出你的真心与真情，也会把他的一切记在你的心间。　 　
当你知道他要出门远行，你会发自内心地为他的行程担心和祝福；
当你知道他身体有什么不适，你会真心真意地为他而感到心疼；
当他的事业不顺心，你会真心地为他焦急，并奉上你微薄而真心的鼓励。
这种朋友，你可以和他开各种深浅不一的玩笑，甚至会说：“我喜欢你，我爱你。”而不必担心他会真的成为你的情人而让你受到一 丝一毫的伤害。你可以把自己所有的心里话都说给他听，甚至是夫妻之间 、情人之间都无法表达的心里的秘密。而这时候的他，就是一个最好的听众，一个最好的咨询专家，为你解除心底的迷惑和痛苦。
这种朋友，不会有像情人那样，一日不见如隔三秋的 相思，但也会时时从心底扯出一丝丝牵挂，从而温暖你的心。　　　　
这种朋友，不管有多长时间没见，见了后，都会有一种最亲、最近的感觉，都会让你有一种温馨的暖意在心中升起。　　　
在你需要的时候，他总是一棵大 树，为你撑起一把摭风挡雨的绿伞； 在你无力的时候，他会为你撑起一片 蓝天。而他却从不求回报，只需你抬起头，为他献上甜甜的一笑；只需你轻轻地抚摸一下他粗大的树干，他就会因你的 鼓励而成长地更加枝繁叶茂，而那种郁郁葱葱地绿，会给你更多舒心的清 凉。　　　　
我一直在想，今生有了这样一个朋友，就应该是一种最完美的幸福。

Never Be The Same Again

Received the news this morning. Saw her message after seeing Joel standing beside me talking on phone and he walked out. She just gave us her blog and the password and got to read it only when the sunrises and everything seems to slow down as it was already too late for us to even have one last chat.

My last conversation was her calling me to ask me where I place her SIM Card. Everything was perfect as per normal. I guess thats why people called this the calm before a storm.

For a life to build up and survive, it takes years and millions of dollars. But to end the effort, it takes just a despair and disappointment and 1 significant second.

She fell. This time she really fell or should i say jump? I guess i'm now in the same despair and disappointment but its just different from her. To just lose someone who seems ok 2 days ago, and to talk to her 2 days ago, watched movie with her just 2 days ago. I cannot believe that i will nv have the chance to do the same again. She said she want go fishing with me, Joel and Trevor but I guess there is no more chance. She told us she just need time to forget what have caused her this way and we are kind of relieve as she finally realise it. But everything is too late. Everything just happened like the speed of light. I still cannot believe it.

Tears fell today. And I will not forget today, May 22nd 2008. I am wrong. I am really wrong. Yes, i blame myself as I do not believe she will do it. She attempted once which me and joel saved her. I was wrong with all my fuck analysis. Now by thinking of it, it just pissed me off. Yes she did not jumped the second time she attempted, but its the police that got her down. Now the third, there is no one there, there is no one but the ex-bf, Vincent. I do not blame him as thats his decision. I can onli blame myself for not being really able to read the sign... for now, i cant complete this..

I will not forget .... Liew Yiling, we will be friends forever.

I'm sorry but its for your own good

This story starts with this....

I was on my way to meet up Kokheng to acc him to sew his rank when this guy running around came up to me. In a very rush manner he talks to me and I show him the face of Sylvester Stallone. So he asked me, "relax a bit, he meant no harm." Looks who talking about who is going to harm who. Ok, back to this story, he told me he is playing this game on Entreperneurship along with his friend behind and, i take a look, a girl, standing there. Ok, by dressing, i can tell they are together. So he suddenly bring out this box, it contains the greatest invention of all time, paper clips. He took one out and happily showed it to me. It is twisted in a shape that i could use 1 sec to do it.

The wrong move:::

He ask me to look at it and imagine the hardwork him and the girl had done to win this competition. ( I was thinking i don't even have to use brain to talk to this guy. And also using 1/infinite of my imagination, i really cannot imagine why would the girl partner this guy to lose the competition. ) And so he carried on saying name a price, any price will do, and he started saying if u think it is $2 then buy it for $2, if i think it worth $5, buy it for $5.

The Correction and his F**K face::::

I simply just asked him, can u accept rejection and comments? He said yes, another wrong move boy... So here goes my lines:" Firstly, running around in front of me and dash up to me only make me angry, thats why i had the provoked face. Secondly, if you wanna win a competition that u wanna to do well, please do not insult my intellect by showing me a paper clip. Thirdly, do you know what is hardwork? Fourth, u wanna sell this? U may wanna wait till global warming is over. Fifth, if entreperneurs do what u are doing today, i am quite worried about my own future. So, i'm sorry to have wasted my time, just leave me alone and wake up your idea. " Then he give me the dun buy say dun buy la face and the crumble face and run to another person again. I hope he understand by twisting the paper clip gives no appeal to what he wanna sell. thats what i mean actually.

Back To Zero.

Hope R will make the right choice. R, ur years of relationship is at stake, don't because of a man and u throw the memories and the time u spend with ur bf to waste.

simple, quiet direct.

Its just me. I don't know why Weihong changes to different character to suit into the crowd. If u are childish and stupid, i will tend to match in. If you are intellectual, u know i am through the conversations. I guess this in the term of psychology is called the Chameleon Personality.

Something awkward. Been out on the streets alone near to a year. Friends asking where i am through smses and i would reply outside with a friend. The next question is, a girl? It sounds funny actually as I do not have a date for quite sometime. I don't even dare to have one also. Its scary to know someone to me somehow. Yes i will talk to them, listen to them. The guts of asking them out for a date? Better to swallow it. It seems to have become a variety show in my heart, FEAR FACTOR.

A trip. By hook or by crook, near end August and start of Sept, i must get on the plane this year to Thailand where it be alone or a couple. We people are all binded by the reality of paper cash, giving excuses of no money. I can save, why can't you right? By using the direct left brain to think, a trip with Jetstar could only reach the amount of 230dollars and also by touching down @ Bangkok, clothes and foods are almost below 10 Sin. Think about it.

The Answer Someone told me about the 2 Weihong. A emotional one and a cheerful type. Or should i just question you back, do you prefer just Weihong as Weihong himself?

What Happened In my previous posting, its obvious something hurting had happened. Thanks for those who wrote in my tag. The two that I've never expected to tagged in. Now i know who really listens and sees.

The Path is Set Studies and work, hard to balance... but to me actually, Studies are easy. Work are twice as easier. Be intellectual to understand that.

Reflection

I am tired of posting blog and this will be the last one. Just want to let the viewers of my blog know the below story:

She was a very pretty young lady. Perfectly fun and fine. She is a very good friend of mine. Given her cheerful personality, its ok that me, her and J are on good terms as the 3 of us clicked and had become close.

One day, her relationship failed and given her past history, its not going to be a good sign. After my duty, I went home trying to sleep as I had not had one yet and for J, him too. After going back home knocking out for less than just a handful of hours, I received a call from J asking me to look at the message. It says like this: "Sisters, very nice meeting u guys, when we go out, I really had fun & enjoyed myself, take care." At first glance I was not paying much attention. Do not know why I look at the message again. And I realised and sensed something was not right.

Met her up at Bedok on Sunday with her face looking perfectly fine. She requested me to wait for her for another 1/2 hr, without thinking so much, i agreed. After which exact timing, she came back. and I was there definitely. She kept telling me she had a stomachache, asking her from menstruation to doing her bowels, she say its not that. Then J arrived, without noticing much, me and him intended to bring her to have fun trying to cheer her up. Suddenly I tot of what caused the stomachache, which first thing to come to my mine is over-dosage of pills. So i confronted and she did not replied twice after which i had asked her again. Something is wrong.

J started to observe her and realize she was shivering. We quickly held her and alighted the train, she was groggy and almost fainted a couple of times, after taking a cab, she fainted a lot of times in the cab while i was holding her soon cold body. As all clinic refused to take her in, we rushed her to the E*** S**** Hospital to clear out her stomach. At the moment, I told myself to be strong. But.....

I will not continue anymore, this is a story which i would say, please, if you have relationship problem, please dun resolve it by attempting to suicide. This incident totally hurt me and J a lot. And if its not for the police, i will live in guilt forever.

I know how it feels

I totally understand how it felt guys. So I hope both of u will managed it well k! Life is like a bus, this is what came to my mind this morning after my duty, dragging my tired shell on the boat.

Life is like a bus because it stops almost every 100M++ and keeps going everyday. Different ppl boarded the bus and they are like the example of different social circle of ppl u will meet. And in this bus, by quietly sitting in there, u will see a lot of different emotions,commotions ups and down. However, no matter what, it will always reach its final destination, The Interchange. The interchange is the heart of where everybody's destination is, the bus number is to where the destination is.

What I am trying to say is to mould yourself into a bus, create a destination and be prepare and accept that it will be a rollercoaster ride with ups and down, stops and go. One last important thing, have u ever seen a bus stop when a passenger is crying and sad? No? that is why life still goes on!!! Jiayou! this is to who they know I know they are.

The Run

Went around my block for a run before hitting the stadium. Up and down 3 blocks and u can smell the fragrance of the food. Dun get me wrong, im not thinking of eating. But if you realized, different house have different kind of smell. No no, its not because of different cooked food. But its the smell of the house. U will nv find a place having the similar smell as your home. thats for sure.

Some boys was warming up @ the stadium when i got there. They seems to be getting themselves ready for NS, thats why i call them boys ya? LOL... So after my 8th round, their warm-up just finished, not impressive, I was like dear god, Singapore really needs to depends on the kids? LOL.. After their warm-up, the first few looked @ me with the snobbish look, however, after their 2nd round, their are gone. LOL... I am not saying I am fit, i am just saying children or say, Poly guys just find sometime out during the weekend to do some exercises or training before u hit the club or pub or whatever nightlife..

I don't think we can keep blaming on technology that make this ppl stick to it. Its self-discipline and their own mentality and laziness. So as a parent OR a parent to be, educate them the healthy way and raise them the healthy lifestyle.

My parents dun have to worry about me because I am crazy. LOL..

woohoo...

I wan go Thailand.. I wan i wan... desperate to go see my Buddha and their culture.. ARGH!!!

i really blurred out

it suddenly change direction like what wind does. What am i doing? Pursuing the impossible.

Very dilemma indeed. Weihong always give the idea of a flirtish guy. Am i? Maybe the approach of friendship is different from ppl thats why people judge. Leong wai also say, human have high tendency to judge first before they act.

Training. Yesterday went over to train some guys. He is so thin that even wind can break him when he stood there. He tell me he cannot get over the wall and he have difficulty. After 15 mins of try out, he smiled. Because he got passed. Im not saying i helped him a lot. sometimes, one needs a voice to tell him with step by step teaching on what to do. He was overjoyed coming up to me and say yeah!!! this is my first time getting past the wall. Sense of achievement came. We did not stop there. He continue to awe me with his determination and he listens to my words. This reminds me of myself.

I do have self-discipline from how i was brought up. I endure everything during my training days, even if i can't, my body just won't stop going. But these are all training aspects. My previous instructors told me before, i will make a very good instructor, someone who ppl will died for if the day comes. But i choose not to. Because of my injury, i stepped out. I am very scary of my injury. The frightening twist and the Osgood schlatter.

This few weeks are not that good for my health too. My knee, my nose nerves and my gastric is killing me. My life is changing and evolving. Just hope that it is good. After so much of running and training on my own for weeks, finally the pain from Osgood Schlatter caught me again. Physical pain for me is better than having my heart aching.

Relationship. Still empty. Fadzli last night said something about interested then ok, not interested then forget it.

As quoted from Joel again, just remember vaguely. If two person like each other but both person thinks they do not compatible to each other and not try to be together. That is wrong as we have no right to think for each person. That is call selfish."

So tired. Later going to continue destroying my knee. LOL.... Endure and Excel.. LOL...

the walk

took a walk in the jungle and felt quite nice being there smelling nature. accept for the latrine area which definitely i am not talking about that. LOL... pretty sian.

Studies are all in my mind. going to look up for things more to motivate my brain cells and enlighten myself before i go into U.

战争的利益

Thousand of years have passed, thousands of famous names have all falls and bleed for just a word, War. Lives perished due to the word from the generals they trust and distrust. Small soldiers just follows, those who did not, dies..

Clever strategist, infamous route of advance, traps, art of weaponry skills.

For now, what do we really fight for?

Relationship

I am no idiot in this thats for sure. Saw Karen's blog about her friend's situation. I would recommend break loh. There is no such thing as forever and also there is not such thing as on the verge. dun like means dun like, like means like. Dun try to fake it.

Just like my previous relationship, i love her so much and she say she love me so much. In the end, just a few words and just a small quarrel, its over. I dun believe in love alr and for now, i prefer to say like than love. Love to me, just leave it till marriage.

2 second SOC

do you believe now in Singapore, trying to go down an escalator is like part of army obstacle course?

Why? today, me and my mother was trying to go down the escalator, one family is standing just at the escalator mouth discussing where to go, well, i definitely know where is there destination, rolling down. they block my mother way and the retard son change course and pushed my mother abit, I was trying to go in front to pull him to apologise to my mother loh, then the father chopped in front of me and pretend nothing happen.

I am saying this as this are the things u will see everywhere. So inconsiderate family and friends, Singapore is small, but there are still sufficient space to stand to discuss on destinations, so fuck off..

1 Last time

If anyone say i think too much and too emo on things. just delete my number in ur phone book will do.

I am Weihong, accept and care who i am thats ur problem. And I discover a lot of ppl keep saying I think too much. Because you ppl are too simple-minded. If i bring up this problem about ECO, how many will talk to me about it? 1/10. Most will say think too much, because u all just dun care.

this world got this problem of destroying itself because of all u this kind of ppl!

And this part is to those who keep calling ppl loser. GO FUCK YOURSELF. You just are bloody selfish to think that ppl who dun do things to ur delight are loser. But fucking go look up yourself and compare yourself with a piece of shit. Call ppl loser, so what if you win a lot? by calling ppl loser, you are a loser to your own EQ. Fuck!!

I am pretty fed up and I will not be willing to let ppl climb over my head just because I become nice and control my temper.

Morning + Slack + Night

Went to ECP C4 for a run of 5km, then Tug of war, then sand castle. Very tired and suddenly very sleepy. Went over to Marine Parade to eat, saw miss nice. LOL..

Afternoon, woei chao and joel came over to my place to slack and slack.. LOL... watch a little bit of muay thai. and woei chao went off to meet his friend and me and joel went to meet yiling. and waited and waited, btw, the lady @ zone X is quite... hmm... wee o wee o~ LOL...

Finally got to meet Yiling and trevor and went for our buffet then ktv.. damn suddenly lazy to blog..

titleless

just hope one day i can turn the guilt ard..

Today stayed home whole day as I slept like 6plus am till 1600hrs~! then sit home like stone littat loh. Drank quite a lot. Hahaha... Lucky still strong. LOL... at home is boring but it does feel good because my mother cooked my fav. foods!! woohoo~

BBQ & Club

Rushed out of camp to meet up with YingYing and Seck Wang. Small chit chats.. The food there was not bad, and we are like the onli Singaporeans there and most importantly, its hot! Not a good place to date for dinner and after that u will stink with BBQ smell. HOHO...

Yiling sms me asking me got go out a not and suddenly i know there is something on her mind alr. She asked if I wanna go Malaysia club a not. I was thinking hmm... can hear from the tone she is keen on going very much and dun wanna disappoint her so I just go there loh. Met up with her, Trevor, Joel and Ah yung, Yu Ting, Swen, erm.... LOL... forget alr. LOL... Did enjoy ourselves with the drink. Too bad the R&B came too late~! LOL.... Drank quite a lot! And tried the Johnnie Walker Swing, its damn smooth and shiok!!!! The Place is called Kavana, I think lah.. dunno got spell wrong a not.