dragging

Confession time. 

I'm still in my pajamas. 

It's 11:17 am. 

I hardly ever do this. 

I blame it on the NyQuil. 

I thought for sure I had strep earlier in the week. 

Nope, just a virus. 

Now my voice sounds like I've inhaled smoke for 2 days straight. 

I haven't. 

And my head feels like a swimming pool.

I have accomplished a few things. 

I've paid bills. 

I've cleaned baseboards. 

I've cleaned the washer. 

I've washed dishes. 

I've made some phone calls. 

I've cleaned the bathroom.

I've straightened up the family room.

But I'm still in my pajamas. 

And it's making me want to crawl back into bed.

Maybe it's time to get the yoga pants out.

monopoly

I think we played Monopoly 300 times over break.

 

Well, maybe closer to 5. 

Elliott L.O.V.E.S. this game.

 

He likes to be the banker and figure out all the money.  He's really good at it, too.  I like to play when it's just the three of us.  But I'm done once Brian gets home and wants in on the action.  I first played Monopoly with him many years ago and quickly learned that he has no mercy.  And I get angry about his "business strategies and tactics" that seem rude to me (there's a very good reason I'm not in the corporate world).  So it's better that I just don't play.   The boys learned this pretty quickly too.  In fact, nobody likes to play Monopoly once Dad gets home :)  Well, maybe Elliott every once in a while.  He likes the challenge.

Christmas at Grandma's & Grandpa's

It's always fun when we're all able to get together with my parents, sisters, brother-in-law and nephews.  Especially for Christmas.  And we were all even under one roof for over 24 hours which meant that we could stay up really late playing board games, talking, laughing.  It was fun.  Reminded me much of New Years Eves when we were all still at home.  Those times are pretty rare now, so we make the best of them when we do get them.

Stratego was a new game for me - not for the boys of the house, though :)  I guess it was just foreign to those of us who grew up in a house full of girls.

Trivial Pursuit is a must for Erin and Brian - the rest of us try not to upstage them with our trivia knowledge......okay, the rest of us kind of stink at trivia, but we enjoy playing.  But only to 3 or 4 pie pieces.  6 is way to long of a game, don't you think?

All of the boys were excited about their presents the next morning.  It was fun to watch their faces as they opened each one.

Amber always chooses the perfect gift for Brian.  This year it was pants expanders for those times when you eat too much or your suit pants from high school don't fit anymore.  They are just so thoughtful with each other.

They assure me they will not shoot their eyes out.

 

Both of my sisters required a nap that afternoon.  Maybe I should have joined them :)

Of course a game of Monopoly.  If Elliott is around, there will be a game of Monopoly played before the weekend is over.

And ending the afternoon with a little iPad time.

one

That's how many of these I'll be taking for the next 1,826 days.  And I would gladly take 1826 of them over 1 round of chemo anyday :)

It's the Tamoxifen.  It will be the last of the treatments for the breast cancer.  I'm still getting the Herceptin every three weeks until the end of June - which continues to be a breeze.  And then it will be just this tiny little pill.  Yay!  I may just do a happy dance when that day comes, but I will not let you know cause you would not want to see it.  Just ask my kids :)

lego nativity

We stopped at Our Lady of Snows Shrine (I think that's what it's called - I always get it wrong) on the way home from one of our holiday trips to Illinois.  We were too early for the lights or laser show, so we walked over to the hotel to see the Lego Nativity.  Wow.  This was really amazing for us as a Lego family, but I think anyone would appreciate the time and effort and talent that went into this.  I can't even imagine how you begin to design something like this and see it come to life.

BOB's adventures

BOB was a mischievous little guy.  And he was only here for 3 nights.  I can't imagine what he will be up to next Christmas.  We enjoyed his antics and notes SO much though.  Can't wait to see him again!

thankful - the rest

Okay, I totally bombed on keeping up with the "thankfuls" in November.  I don't know why I tried.  I knew I wouldn't keep up with it.  Remind me not to try that again.

There are so many things I'm thankful for and I think you get a good feel for those on our blog.  But here are a few pictures that I took specifically for the "thankful" thing that I thought I would share (and then I won't feel so guilty about not finishing it, right?)

A quiet Thanksgiving that didn't involve roasting a turkey or turning the oven on for any kind of food.  We had soup and snacked on apples, cheese and crackers and loved it.

People who are not afraid to mix their faith with their business.  I happened to sit at a table at Chick-fil-a under this print and noticed these signatures and verses for the first time.  One of the big reasons I love Chick-fil-a

These treats at Trader Joe's.  

This cup.  It's pink so no one else in this house will touch it.  All mine.  That means no coffee taste or smell in it.  Purely tea and hot chocolate.  Ahhhh..

This guy.  Brian always draws this guy.  Now he draws him on the iPad.  I'm wondering if the boys will draw him too.  I'm just amazed at the ability to draw. period.  I can't do it one bit.

Leg warmers.  I thought everyone was wearing thick knee high socks with their boots, but the girl at H&M showed me that they are actually leg warmers.  Really?  Back in style already?  Can't be.  That was just back in elementary school.  Guess time is catching up with me.  Oh, and right by the leg warmers at Target were......get this......slouch socks.....oh my goodness!!

This sign that allows me to park just steps away from the entrance everyday.  The only other time I've been privileged to get a special parking spot was when it said "parking for expectant mothers only", which were rare and I always thought it should say "parking for brand new moms who have to lug around a stroller, infant seat, diaper bag, purse, and, heaven forbid, a toddler"

Homemade pumpkin pie.  Yummmm.

Vanilla Coke.  I was so excited when soda finally tasted good to me again.  This and Cherry Coke are my faves.  I really need to decide that water is my fave now.  I treated myself to it after chemo, and now I'm having a hard time not "needing" one everyday.

getaway to kansas city

We took a much needed getaway to Kansas City and The Great Wolf Lodge in November.  Loved it.  Had to see the choppers at a BBQ place (can't remember the name of it right now).  The boys wanted to play MagiQuest at the hotel.  We discussed for a while and then let them play - best decision!  Such a fun game for all of us - you had to find clues in the hallways of the hotel and complete "levels".  Much like a video game/scavenger hunt in real life.  Our room had a fun "den" type of theme and the kids loved that.  Not to mention the water park.  So much fun.  Will definitely go back!!

still glowing

After 33 days of radiation, I'm pretty sure I could glow in the dark if I really tried.  Ok, probably not, but the boys would have thought that was way cool!

Radiation was so so easy for me.  I know it's not like that for everyone, but I so wish it was.  My skin never felt more than a little irritated, a very minor sunburn feeling at the most.  And the fatigue never hit me hard either.  Toward the end, it seemed like there would be about one day each week that I just crashed.  But really that just meant falling asleep at 8 or taking an unexpected nap cause I fell asleep in the afternoon or having to skip some things on my schedule cause I just didn't have the energy to get there or do them.

I did not enjoy having to go to radiation everyday, but I did enjoy the therapists and doctors and nurses very much.  I'm telling you that God blessed us so much with the people that he chose as our caregivers for the past few months.  I said that on Facebook the day radiation ended, and I still feel that way - always will.  

Take this picture as an example...

The boys had to go to radiation with me a few times over Christmas Break.  I was going to try to find someone to watch them, but the therapists (in the picture) insisted that I just bring them with me.  So I did, and after my treatment, they brought the boys in and showed them the machine and the lasers and how everything worked.  The boys were totally into the lasers and how the machine rotated.  Not to mention, Pam fed them cookies every time they came I think.  I'm surprised they haven't asked to go back yet :)

I only had to go back for three more treatments after Christmas Break and finished on January 5th.  I also had to have an echocardiogram that morning so it was a full day.  It was bittersweet leaving the office that day.  So glad to have some time free up in my days and to know that I was one step closer to being finished with all of the cancer treatments!  Yet sad to not see these nice people everyday.  When you see someone everyday for almost two months you kind of get attached to them.

I comforted myself by going to the Container Store afterward.  I know, some people like to have some great food, some like to buy something nice for themselves, some just like to celebrate with their friends.  I'm odd.  I love the Container Store.  I like to organize.  I like the feeling of a fresh start.  I knew I was halfway there and didn't have any good reason to be halfway there after that day so I took my opportunity and went.  I just browsed.  No buying.  So all was good.

On my way home, I might have cried just a little bit as I crossed this bridge.  

I can't tell you how many times we've crossed this bridge in the past 8 months.  

Once for every mammogram, ultrasound, biopsy, doctor visit, surgery, chemo, echo, CT, OT, radiation and more, I'm sure.  

I've crossed this bridge many other times before all of this and not thought about it much except for praying that everyone stays in their own lanes and lets me get safely to the other side, and wondering why the westbound lanes were so incredibly narrow.  

But a couple of months ago I started seeing this bridge as more significant in relation to our journey.  One day I was in the passenger seat as Brian drove us home.  I'm guessing it was still during chemo or shortly after cause I remember being tired and kind of resting my head back on the seat.  As we were crossing, I just kept seeing the bars of steel pass by us and the end getting closer and closer.  It was kind of a calming feeling, like things were passing us by as we were carried closer to the end.  It hit me just then that so many movies use images of people crossing bridges as ways to dramatically show time passing or a fresh start or moving away from the past.  (I don't know why that was so apparent to me right at that very moment when I had been watching movies for over 30 years, but it takes me a while sometimes.)

So I would think about this every time I would come home from chemo or radiation or OT or whatever.  That was one more bar of steel on the bridge.  And the day that I finished radiation, the last of the big treatments in our book, I realized not so much that we have so very little left to face, but it really hit me how much we have already faced.  Wow.  Praising God that we never faced any of it alone.

The boys' memory verse for tomorrow night is the same one that I've repeated to myself countless times during this journey.  I was so excited to see it, and so annoyed with myself for not teaching it to them a long time ago.  I think they knew though, cause Elliott mentioned it this evening.

Fear not, for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you.

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Time

Just never seems to be enough of it, huh?  And it's always getting away from me, too.  Which is what seems to keep happening with this blog.  I plan to update it, but time just slips away (or I fall asleep - same difference maybe).  In fact, I actually have quite a few drafts started with pictures uploaded (cause that's the part that takes so much time for me) that I just need to add words to - or not add words to and just post the pictures.  At this point it probably really doesn't matter.  I should just do something.

So I'm going to try my best to catch you all up without writing you a novel.  Brian and the boys were gone the other evening playing volleyball and basketball with friends at church.  I was so excited to have unexpected time to myself!  I plopped myself on the couch with my M&Ms (that might be a post all on its own) and my Beth Moore study and enjoyed the quiet.  They still weren't home after finishing that, so I thought it would be a good time to catch up on the blog.  The problem now is that I'm so far behind that it is overwhelming to even start.  But I did start writing this post and then had to abandon it for stories and prayers and arguments about bedtime once all the males returned.

So here I am again.  I'm hoping to post a lot today - sorry!

spelling bee

So proud of Elliott today!  He came home a little before Christmas saying that he had won the spelling bee in his class, and today he competed in the school-wide spelling bee.

We had been practicing the word list that his teacher sent home for days (I thoroughly enjoyed this because I love all things about spelling/grammar, etc. - much to Brian's relief, I'm sure).  He was a little nervous for today, not knowing exactly what to expect and wanting to do well.  He handled it really well, took his time and asked for repetitions, sentences, etc.  And I was so impressed with his and the other kids' character in encouraging each other with silent thumbs up and whispered "good job"s throughout the competition - so great to see that selflessness.

He came in 3rd place today and was very happy with the accomplishment.  He was pretty proud when telling Ethan that his name was read over the loudspeaker at the end of the day along with the 1st and 2nd place winners, too!

So proud of you E!!!