And we're live

 My house listing is up. So now we wait! I don't have control over what happens next, so we'll see what happens. It feels kinda like walking out of a big test, knowing you did the best you could, and just waiting for the results.

As much as I was excited about building a house near my best friend, I am now rethinking that. We aren't making any decisions right this minute, but the reality is that building what I want is going to be about $100k MORE than buying similar - and that is no paved driveway, no landscaping. So.... I dunno. It feels like I can have my dreams or a brand new "dream" house (and its not my ideal), so I'm wondering if that's the right choice.

My husband still hasn't found a job. We are toying with the possibility of doing a road camping trip prior to buying a house because it seems like a good opportunity. So much is up in the air, but that also means so many opportunities.

T minus 5 hours

 The photographer will be here in 5 hours to take the photos for our house listing. The past few days have been beyond exhausting.  Minor repairs, yard work, some painting, and of course decluttering and cleaning! But I hope it pays off in the form of a solid offer that comes in quickly. Fingers crossed.

If y'all are interested, I will share a link to the listing once it is up. I think I'd prefer to email that rather than post it on my blog though. What you you guys think?

Making progress

My son and his girlfriend came for a couple of days and helped with some maintenance type chores around the house. We've continued to pack up some extra stuff and now comes the big push to deep clean and stage before the photographer comes Tuesday afternoon. The appraiser came this past Tuesday, and the house should be listed & on the market come next Friday. So scary and exciting!

I'm not rushing the process on the new house, I know that adds time but right now I don't have the bandwidth for keeping that ball in the air.I will think about it soon. All of this has been very stress filled to say the least. I'm beginning to do a bit better, but its been a struggle. I spoke with my doctor about an antidepressant to help deal with things - especially going into winter (which I hate).

So not great, but not terrible.

Friday reflections

Good morning and happy Friday. Weight is down 2.6 pounds from last week, which is a miracle. Still no intentional exercise beyond walking the dog.

As I am packing up and getting ready to sell this house, it feels like a right time to reflect on being intentional in creating the next stage of my life. The goal is for the next house to be the last house, so beyond some obvious choices (one story & other aging in place choices), things like size of house matters as well. 

I am aggressively down sizing my furniture to minimize what gets moved & stored. While I'm keeping important family items, things I've collected and like but aren't emotionally attached to are going to go. The house we've looked at is roughly the same size as this one, but I'm wondering if we would be comfortable in a smaller one. Given that I work at home, I do need an office space, so maybe not. But size affects price, and price matters! Thankfully that isn't a decision we need to make right away.

My ideal is that I have a new house that is decluttered, which will translate to less maintenance.  The reason is that I want to be able to do more traveling - which requires money, so mortgage size matters!

The other reality I am dealing with is my husband's health. He has gained a fair bit of weight since his knee replacement surgery (much more sedentary role plus stress plus depression) and his weight definitely affects his activity level. One reason I went to Alaska alone was the simple fact that he would not have been able to do the things I wanted to to. I'm not trying to throw stones - my fitness affected what I was able to do in Alaska! 

I don't want to sound mean, I love my husband. But work demands, raising a child, etc. has meant certain dreams of mine have been deferred. I'm ready to stop deferring my dreams. If that means I do trips with women's groups or other organized travel groups or other family members and T stays home - well, that makes me sad. I'd love for him to have adventures with me, but I can't control the choices he makes around his health. We've had that discussion.

I don't know what that looks like. I need to think through that. I do know I need to set myself up for success - and that means creating a lifestyle that prioritizes physical activity and minimizes the constant sorting/ cleaning/ organizing that takes up a lot of my time now.

Have a great weekend!

Uncertainty

 I feel like I should be using this blog more than ever, but I feel so frazzled that even sitting down to write seems like an effort.

We've made some progress on packing up some stuff to declutter for photos. My son is coming Sunday to help with some of the "work" - we need to paint any exterior peeling paint, mainly the ceiling of our 3 season porch. Plus wash windows, tidy up yard, etc. A lot of manual labor, but we've been primarily focused on the interior.

It's just so huge. I'm trying to just do a bit at a time and not freak out. My goal is to have the house listed by the end of the month.

I had major sticker shock when we went to talk to a builder. Our new mortgage is going to be higher than I would like, that's for sure. But I still feel now is the time to do this.

Anyway, some days I do pretty good, other days not so much. Exercise is out the window for now, unless you count packing boxes.

Take care.

TGIF

 My surgery went ok, but my eye is pretty swollen and sore. Mom is on the mend and doing okay. House is a mess as we try to pack up to move on.

My weight is up - way up. Not happy.

Onward and downward.

Have a good weekend.

1 down, 1 to go

 I am at the hospital, waiting to take mom home. Her surgery went extremely well - even better than last time!

I'm super nervous about my surgery tomorrow - I am having a skin cancer cut out right beneath my right eyebrow. Not looking forward to anything about that.

The company is fighting husband's unemployment claim. I'm like, what????? So that sucks. Trying to get the house ready for pictures - I hate moving.  Also, house prices are crazy.

I am scared to get on the scale. That is all.