Do u really care?

Sometimes this question bothers me a lot. Do you really care about what I think or do? I doubt that, unless it actually affects you. You don't really care that my life sucks. Yes, you ask and pretend that you care, but when I am away from your sight, you just forget about it. That is what humans do. Their life revolves around themselves and anything not concerning them, they just ignore.

Do I really care about you? I hope I do. But in the end, I care much more about myself. Yes, it's not that I don't want to care about you, it's just that I want to spend more time thinking for myself. I can't spend all my time on you, and neither will you on me.

But, as long as we care for each other when we are together, I don't really mind you not thinking about me when I am not around. Sometimes, I just don't understand why can't you be more caring towards the people around you and stop showing that pathetic face of 'my life sucks, please ask why' just so that people can actually ask what they don't really want to know so that you can say it out loud. Your problems aren't necessarily the worst among the people you are with, why can't you think on behalf of others before putting on your sad face. The only thing I want is to have a dinner with you all happily, can you not spoil it. If I offended you in anyway, please feel free to tell me. I am open to comments, don't wait for me to ask you because to tell you the truth, I don't really give a damn.

P/S: Now I know why I love hanging out with my usual gang instead of new friends. We really care about each other, and even when we are sad, we will tell each other without wanting each other to feel sad for us but actually share the feeling with us.

Smile

It kind of dawn on me that I actually do this quite often.... since people actually notice it.... I smile or laugh to myself while doing my work... Okay, it sounds weird when you don't know me... While doing anything, my mind don't only think about the thing I am doing, it also links it with anything that I have encountered in the past or it just wanders off somewhere and bring up some other thoughts for me to think about.... Normally I think about things that are somewhat funny in my own sense and I smile slightly.... okay, not slightly, but for a period of time which I think is short but I don't really have an idea how long (Long enough for people to notice that I am smiling)... Sometimes, I myself too feel that it is weird, but I enjoy this short session with my brain which brings things up that can make me smile.... It makes me happy and weird (when seen by others) at the same time.... But, who cares, as long as I am happy with the little joy it brings me....
If your mind brings up some happy and enjoyable thoughts to you, just smile, it is these thoughts that might keep you happy and going for the whole day....

Thoughts

Been thinking a lot lately, about something or another, nothing that really makes much sense actually. Don't really understand why my mind does this all the time. It keeps putting different thoughts in my mind and made me think it over and over again. Sometimes I just want to empty my brain, drain out all the thoughts that keep bugging me. I especially hate it when the thoughts contradict themselves. It's as if my brain just keep digging up old thoughts that I have already put away and tell me that it shouldn't be this way. It makes me doubt all the choices I made in the past and all those that I am about to make in the future. Why can't it just rest for a while? Or maybe it's not just the brain that is doing this to me but also my emotions that are ever-changing that is bringing up thoughts after thoughts that I don't want to think about. I really don't understand myself sometimes.

Another thought that occur to me is that why people still cling on to something when there isn't much hope of getting it. For example, you already know that you won't be able to capture the attention of the person you are in love with no matter what, why do you still hope that the person will turn and look at you and then fall for you? If you already know that you don't have a future in this career path or with this person, why do you still follow it? For me, I think of things more practically at first, but in the end my emotions will take over and I become torn between 2 and unable to choose, causing me to be stuck in the middle (I knew that the chances of myself achieving what I hope for is slight but I still cling onto the hope that I will be able to get there). I guess is just that for every human, even if there is just a slight hope of getting what they first deemed is impossible, they still want to believe that they are the ones who can make the impossible possible. If there isn't any hope at all, the world will be plunged into a darkness full of desperation and despair. So, hold on to the little hope that you have in anything as that is the only thing that keeps you moving and living.

Too early or too late.....

Heard this from a friend of mine yesterday while having a 'candleneedle' lunch.... hehe....

'There isn't a time which is too early or too late for you to find true love, and there isn't any right or wrong in it, just always remember the happy moments that you had and feel blessed that you had it.'

Hearing this got me thinking slightly. There are so many people in this world who criticize others about getting married too young or too old. But, what is really the ideal time or age to find true love? I don't think there is any, as long as the both of them are in love with each other and are ready to commit to each other, any time is the right time to be together. The same applies to parting with one another. When it ends, just let it go and let it end, the only important thing is that the both of you were true to each others feeling when it started. When you remember about each other in the future, remember about the happiness that you had and not the sadness that you part.

Outing

Went out with me buddies again... haha.... it's quite expected that my mum doesn't ask who I go out with anymore as I only go out with the same bunch of friends weekly... If I don't, I will tell her even before she ask anyway....
Today was a short trip to Taylor's Lakeside campus for short lunch plus tour of the uni... The trip was planned due to Eugene saying 'Chatime', a shop selling bubble tea and other specialty drinks, is opened there... and Backofen, an Austrian-based shop selling cakes and mostly western food, as well... So, we went there, 8 of us (Me, CJ, KY, BY, Gan, Kai, Ken and Tham) to have lunch at Backofen and then drinks at Chatime.... Lunch was decent and the people were friendly, all the guys ordered from the set lunch menu since choosing from the main menu prove too much a hassle for them, while the girls chose some special stuff (omelette, bratwurst and beef spaghetti)
Off to Chatime then... only me and CJ got drinks the rest were too busy talking...

Taylor's UNI was having their open day that day and it looks quite happening since there is also a concert tonight at seven... The high-end style and happening-ness of the place makes me think of going back to Uni.... If only I could decide on what course to take....
We had a tour of the place, their classrooms were all locked but the rooms containing more expensive and important stuff, mainly the computer labs and other laboratories (physics, chemistry, pharmaceutical...) were all opened... so we went in and touched almost everything we can get our hands on.... (There were CCTVs in all the room recording whatever we are doing, but who cares..)
Though we just spend a little more than an hour walking round the uni... I enjoyed it... It reminds me of myself before worklife started... and I kind of regret the lack of involvement in social activities during my college and Uni life... but since I can't turn back time, I will just have to create better memories of my life from now on so that I won't regret it in the future...