Don't know what came over me. The need for recognition, the anger from possible rejection or simply self-destruction/justification to plot my departure or all of the above? I was irrational and unusually hot-headed.
What was I trying to prove? That I am not "meek" and that I can stand up for myself? What happened to all the sound advice I used to render with so much confidence to others?
I can only say that wisdom still comes with experience and experience is accumulated.
I am so greatful and glad that I had people to turn to before I made my subsequent move.
Jogging allows me to have a clear mind to process my thoughts. It gives me so much space to calm down and the conversations I had in the afternoon replayed in my mind. At the same time I continued to ask myself, what was my objective in the whole exercise?
There are so many possible answers and they could all be my answers.
So what now?
What I need to do now, is put into practise the advice that I might give to another person who may be in the same position as myself, the most practical one - to play dumb and achieve what you came for as there is no point in fighting head-on.
这个世上没有英雄。你也不是主角。你只是一个过客。
你不需要证明什么。
也不要把大家当成你的敌人，因为世界不是绕着你在转动。
你会把别人的举动，当成对你的威胁，只不过是因为你太看得起你自己。
想一想，如果你的反射性动作时硬碰硬，证明你对自己的执著，对自己的看重，对面子的放不下。冠冕堂皇的说-”这样的人，我不稀罕为他做事“ 只是一种借口，为自己铺后路。这种话，只有有身家有背景的人，才有能力说。没有的话，遇到什么都要当成一种训练，一种磨练。
态度-心态-动作-习惯。
心念会影响全世界，at least 我的世界。。。
