hmmm 31 of dec 2005 - last blog of this year. Pretty sure this is it because i will be out from 1pm onwards and will not be back till after 12midnight. Not because i'm going for some orchard countdown but helping out at pks.
I'm still listening to 'Union' since i got it yesterday.. Hahaha really nice way to start the day. :p
Well well well... What am i goin to blog about? I need to leave house by 1245 to give tuition. Then will make my way to pks cos my uncle says there's blessing at 3pm. Hmm.. Initially i tot they needed people to help out, turn out he asked me to go be blessed ;p den i told him, i din chant for the world for the whole week and now i go down to be blessed... tt's very singaporean. HAHAHAH don't give but take. He told me to go down for next year then. Sigh since i've re-arranged my tuition to an earlier date, might as well go down earlier. Moreover, my uncle, aunt-in-law, aunt, sister and Sinz will be there! hee Like to be doing things with my fam actually LOL..
Talk about religion and fam, my younger uncle said he wanted to read the bible. hahaha and the other day when the computer hang as he was playing computer game he said "if god wants me to rest, den i probably should" Hahaha i was like "Like u'll listen to Him." "you don't know i believe in God now meh?"
I din. Told him i have a bible, shall pass it to him later.
I believe religion does a person good. Any one can. Believing there is a higher power will keep people's lives on track, more discipline, more loving, nicer. Religions usually provide a reason for us being living in the world now, what is the greater cause of it. Just that the stubborn person in me refuse to listen to anything. ;p
My fickle mind, my want to be different, i believe all gods are real and one and the same one. Like how pre-historic chinese people make gods out of mountains and rivers because of their knowledge, or lack of it and their background. People of everywhere saw the supreme being through the lens of their own culture. Hence the difference in appearance.
Teaching wise, every religion speaks about being caring, compassionate, love mankind and a heaven.. Of cos, there are major differences in terms of rituals, execution of these goals. But i jus it is because of human subjectivity and after so many years, the divergence simply grew bigger.
I don't mean to offend anyone of any religion thou. Jus my lil tot.
I might look a lil crasy to think this way... Think about it, wat's the point of differentiating you are from this religion, i'm from that. *shrugs* The only time there is a difference is when the people have a false sense of superiority, i guess. This competitive nature only exists in humans right? I don't know, i'd like to think that the god/s up there, that i'm believing in, is/are magnanimous and forgiving. I guess every organisation has measures in place to prevent outflow of members, religion is no exception. :p i think i better stop the topic here before i get killed.
I love the song...
Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange this curse
Utilising all the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one
It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows another one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing
(Union - BEP, Feat. Sting)
Let's change on the count of three.
In the new year, i hope i become a nicer person. less temper, more love. More positive energy. A more caring person, less bossy. :p More appreciative of the people around me.
Then maybe the world will become a better place in 2100... :p
Saturday, December 31, 2005
The song in my last post is Union by Black Eyed Peas (feat. Sting). Can't explain it but i just love this song the first time i heard it. At first it was only because of the upbeat-ness of the song, den i went to look for the lyrics - very meaningful indeed. I've got to say, BEP is really talented. Another song to intro is 'Home' by Michael Buble. His voice is so sexy that you'll simply get lost listening to him*GRINZ*
Listening to so many songs because of the new ipod nano that my sister lent me. she got it for christmas, and she told me i could play with it... I've been wondering what she meant by 'play with it'. Does it mean i get to use it? or does it mean i jus load the songs in, learn how to use it, teach her and tt's it? *sulkz* Anyhow din manage to do anything to it until today, 5 days after xmas. Very unlike me, who likes to meddle with such things once they fall into my hands. I guess i din wanna touch it mostly cos it's not mine. Hahah anyhow my sister asked me to load songs in yday. So loaded the songs in my com into it.. And i carried it around today!!!!!!!!! hahaha k, kind of cool. Felt really good with it. LOL i guess i'm a convert. Used to hate ipod because so many people are carrying it. i liked Zen because it is made in Singapore (k not technically, but the brand is). But Nano has won me over, it is so slick!!!!! yet it can store like 4 Gigs of songs if i rem it correctly. Call me swaku (mountain turtle) but i was most fascinated by the touch pad. hahahahah the way u scroll up and down and adjust the vol.. I thought it was genius. And the packaging was simply awesome. Everything, up to the earphone covers, were packed nicely in white plastic pockets, sealed. (duh) Look like the way medical supplies are packed, e.g. syringes etc. Everything was put nicely in a box which was black in the outside but white in the inside.. The whole thing was screaming CLASS to me..
I'm sorry creative, i wanted to stay loyal to our product. I guess you cant give youngsters wat they wan, you need to create something for them to want.
Saw my SN friend today. Very glad i still get to meet her once in a while and feel like i can tell her anything :D How many friends do i really have to do this.. i think 4? LOL yeah... strictly speaking 2 but yeah... Gotta say someting really cliche here: Time really flies. I got to know her since sec 3, when i was 15. I'm already 20 goin on 21.. and so SO SOOOO many things have happened to her, me and both of us within this 5 years plus... Don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but i'm sure glad i've got a friend like her, my diary. Thank you KW :D Oh yeah, by the way she don't read my blog LOL so yeah... I don't know why i'm writing this..
Asked Mr Paul to pick me up after my little session with KW and Mel. Hee.. He very nicely obliged, even though he was very tired after a wedding dinner. Thank you Mr Paul. And i very unreasonably asked him to drop mel off at Payar Lebar, when i stay in Yishun. Sorry Mr Paul. Feel so bad :p I don't know about other girls, but i like to ask my bf to drop my friends off.. Most of the time, it is already very late, and my friend happened to be girls as well. And on the other hand, people will think my bf is very very nice and love me very very much to be willing to send him/her all the way to XXX place. :p hahah i'll just feel very loved when my bf drop me home at the end of the day. Rahhhhh Thank you Mr Paul Heee
I guess i'm goin to sleep soon.
Another 20 hours, the year is goin to end, again.
What have i achieved this year? What am i goin to do next year? Where is my life leading me?
When the clock strikes 12 tonight, i will be 6 months closer to being an adult. 21.. How time flies. I'm actually starting to feel scared. I don't feel ready to handle the big 21. All the responsibilities that will come with that, the problems i have to face...
My tuition kid told me this story:
There was a monk who needed to go to the dentist the next day. Being very traumatised by dentists when he was young (as we all were), he was worried sick for the whole day. He cound neither sleep, nor eat. Then come the next day, the monk woke up with little sleep, washed up and was about to leave the house when he received a call. He was told that the dentist will not be free on the day hence his appointment will be changed to the following friday.
Moral of the story:
Don't worry about things that hasn't happen. Dont bother thinking about things you cant control. Dont brood over things that have passed.
My kid has more wisdom than me. :D I try to learn from them too.
Regards,
Wenrong
Listening to so many songs because of the new ipod nano that my sister lent me. she got it for christmas, and she told me i could play with it... I've been wondering what she meant by 'play with it'. Does it mean i get to use it? or does it mean i jus load the songs in, learn how to use it, teach her and tt's it? *sulkz* Anyhow din manage to do anything to it until today, 5 days after xmas. Very unlike me, who likes to meddle with such things once they fall into my hands. I guess i din wanna touch it mostly cos it's not mine. Hahah anyhow my sister asked me to load songs in yday. So loaded the songs in my com into it.. And i carried it around today!!!!!!!!! hahaha k, kind of cool. Felt really good with it. LOL i guess i'm a convert. Used to hate ipod because so many people are carrying it. i liked Zen because it is made in Singapore (k not technically, but the brand is). But Nano has won me over, it is so slick!!!!! yet it can store like 4 Gigs of songs if i rem it correctly. Call me swaku (mountain turtle) but i was most fascinated by the touch pad. hahahahah the way u scroll up and down and adjust the vol.. I thought it was genius. And the packaging was simply awesome. Everything, up to the earphone covers, were packed nicely in white plastic pockets, sealed. (duh) Look like the way medical supplies are packed, e.g. syringes etc. Everything was put nicely in a box which was black in the outside but white in the inside.. The whole thing was screaming CLASS to me..
I'm sorry creative, i wanted to stay loyal to our product. I guess you cant give youngsters wat they wan, you need to create something for them to want.
Saw my SN friend today. Very glad i still get to meet her once in a while and feel like i can tell her anything :D How many friends do i really have to do this.. i think 4? LOL yeah... strictly speaking 2 but yeah... Gotta say someting really cliche here: Time really flies. I got to know her since sec 3, when i was 15. I'm already 20 goin on 21.. and so SO SOOOO many things have happened to her, me and both of us within this 5 years plus... Don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but i'm sure glad i've got a friend like her, my diary. Thank you KW :D Oh yeah, by the way she don't read my blog LOL so yeah... I don't know why i'm writing this..
Asked Mr Paul to pick me up after my little session with KW and Mel. Hee.. He very nicely obliged, even though he was very tired after a wedding dinner. Thank you Mr Paul. And i very unreasonably asked him to drop mel off at Payar Lebar, when i stay in Yishun. Sorry Mr Paul. Feel so bad :p I don't know about other girls, but i like to ask my bf to drop my friends off.. Most of the time, it is already very late, and my friend happened to be girls as well. And on the other hand, people will think my bf is very very nice and love me very very much to be willing to send him/her all the way to XXX place. :p hahah i'll just feel very loved when my bf drop me home at the end of the day. Rahhhhh Thank you Mr Paul Heee
I guess i'm goin to sleep soon.
Another 20 hours, the year is goin to end, again.
What have i achieved this year? What am i goin to do next year? Where is my life leading me?
When the clock strikes 12 tonight, i will be 6 months closer to being an adult. 21.. How time flies. I'm actually starting to feel scared. I don't feel ready to handle the big 21. All the responsibilities that will come with that, the problems i have to face...
My tuition kid told me this story:
There was a monk who needed to go to the dentist the next day. Being very traumatised by dentists when he was young (as we all were), he was worried sick for the whole day. He cound neither sleep, nor eat. Then come the next day, the monk woke up with little sleep, washed up and was about to leave the house when he received a call. He was told that the dentist will not be free on the day hence his appointment will be changed to the following friday.
Moral of the story:
Don't worry about things that hasn't happen. Dont bother thinking about things you cant control. Dont brood over things that have passed.
My kid has more wisdom than me. :D I try to learn from them too.
Regards,
Wenrong
[Chorus]
(One for all, one for all)
(It's all it's all for one)
Let's start a union, calling every human
It's one for all and all for one
Let's live in unison, calling every citizen
It's one for all and all for one
We don't want war- can't take no more
It's drastic time for sure
We need a antidote and a cure
Coz do you really think Mohammed got a problem with Jehovah
We don't want war – imagine if any prophet was alive
In current days amongst you and I
You think they would view life like you and I do
Or would they sit and contemplate on why
Do we live this way, act and behave this way
We still livin' primitive today
'Cause the peace in the destination of war can't be the way
There's no way, so people just be a woman, be a man
Realise that you can change the world by changing yourself
And understand that we're all just the same
So when I count to three let's change
[Chorus]
Got no time for grand philosophy
I barely keep my head above the tide
I got this mortgage, got three kids at school
What you're saying is the truth that really troubles me inside
I'd change the world if I could change my mind
If I could live beyond my fears
Exchanging unity for all my insecurity
Exchanging laughter for my tears
[Chorus]
I don't know, y'all, we in a real deposition
In the midst of all this negative condition
Divided by beliefs, differences and religion
Why do we keep missing the point on our mission?
Why do we keep killing each other, what's the reason?
God made us all equal in his vision
I wish that I could make music as a religion
Then we could harmonise together in this mission
Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange this curse
Utilising all the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one
It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows another one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing
[Chorus]
(One for all, one for all)
(It's all it's all for one)
Let's start a union, calling every human
It's one for all and all for one
Let's live in unison, calling every citizen
It's one for all and all for one
We don't want war- can't take no more
It's drastic time for sure
We need a antidote and a cure
Coz do you really think Mohammed got a problem with Jehovah
We don't want war – imagine if any prophet was alive
In current days amongst you and I
You think they would view life like you and I do
Or would they sit and contemplate on why
Do we live this way, act and behave this way
We still livin' primitive today
'Cause the peace in the destination of war can't be the way
There's no way, so people just be a woman, be a man
Realise that you can change the world by changing yourself
And understand that we're all just the same
So when I count to three let's change
[Chorus]
Got no time for grand philosophy
I barely keep my head above the tide
I got this mortgage, got three kids at school
What you're saying is the truth that really troubles me inside
I'd change the world if I could change my mind
If I could live beyond my fears
Exchanging unity for all my insecurity
Exchanging laughter for my tears
[Chorus]
I don't know, y'all, we in a real deposition
In the midst of all this negative condition
Divided by beliefs, differences and religion
Why do we keep missing the point on our mission?
Why do we keep killing each other, what's the reason?
God made us all equal in his vision
I wish that I could make music as a religion
Then we could harmonise together in this mission
Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange this curse
Utilising all the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one
It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows another one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing
[Chorus]
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Really soft song... I don't particularly like the lyrics but the song is really nice. I guess if i cant put the song on the blog den the next best alternative is to write the lyrics. Man, how pathetic.
Went to SNAVA chalet yesterday. Yes, i went to a chalet, and a pretty empty one. Because most of the girls went home instead. 4 people in a 4 bed chalet, how luxurious is that? Almost like a hotel exp, minus the beautiful scenery.
You know how it gets a little awkward to gather with people you haven seen for years? Not to mention they are of a different batch from you, the different experiences. I have to say that i din feel awkward at all there, almost at home. Although not everyone from the club was there (i will neva expect full attendance actually), those who were there were pretty pleasant. Erm, maybe it was because most of the time they were inside and i was outside BUT, at the very least, they din irritate me. HAHAHAHHAH :p
Current batches aside, the alumni girls were pretty cute. I wonder if Laodamia and I were too strict last time, they always seem a little frightened of us, except melissa of cos, who's a little eccentric. And she claims i'm weird. :p
Biggest discovery during the bbq, My sec two lit teacher, Mrs Sng, actually suspected me of being spastic when she taught me. NO JOKE. I was so hurt... Just because i had really short hair and always act innocent in front of teachers, she thinks i'm spastic. Dam*
Ohz, did i mention 4 teachers turned up for our little gathering? 2 ex SN teachers and 2 current teachers. So touched!!!!!!!! LOL the best thing is the 2 ex SN teachers will be working in Bouna Vista from Jan onwards, this means i can meet them for lunch or dinner :D *grins*
Hahaha i have no idea why i'll be meeting them, i mean after a while there won't be anything to say to them and vice versa. So yeah...
Yes, i still have many things to do .. and i still haven touched them.
Seeing dentist tml!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *JAW's music playin* *see ghost expression* Rahhh...
Sianed..
Happy holidays everyone.
HOpe ur life is not as boring as mine.
Boo
Regards,
WR
Went to SNAVA chalet yesterday. Yes, i went to a chalet, and a pretty empty one. Because most of the girls went home instead. 4 people in a 4 bed chalet, how luxurious is that? Almost like a hotel exp, minus the beautiful scenery.
You know how it gets a little awkward to gather with people you haven seen for years? Not to mention they are of a different batch from you, the different experiences. I have to say that i din feel awkward at all there, almost at home. Although not everyone from the club was there (i will neva expect full attendance actually), those who were there were pretty pleasant. Erm, maybe it was because most of the time they were inside and i was outside BUT, at the very least, they din irritate me. HAHAHAHHAH :p
Current batches aside, the alumni girls were pretty cute. I wonder if Laodamia and I were too strict last time, they always seem a little frightened of us, except melissa of cos, who's a little eccentric. And she claims i'm weird. :p
Biggest discovery during the bbq, My sec two lit teacher, Mrs Sng, actually suspected me of being spastic when she taught me. NO JOKE. I was so hurt... Just because i had really short hair and always act innocent in front of teachers, she thinks i'm spastic. Dam*
Ohz, did i mention 4 teachers turned up for our little gathering? 2 ex SN teachers and 2 current teachers. So touched!!!!!!!! LOL the best thing is the 2 ex SN teachers will be working in Bouna Vista from Jan onwards, this means i can meet them for lunch or dinner :D *grins*
Hahaha i have no idea why i'll be meeting them, i mean after a while there won't be anything to say to them and vice versa. So yeah...
Yes, i still have many things to do .. and i still haven touched them.
Seeing dentist tml!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *JAW's music playin* *see ghost expression* Rahhh...
Sianed..
Happy holidays everyone.
HOpe ur life is not as boring as mine.
Boo
Regards,
WR
Oohooh ooh oohooh ooh...
C'mon!
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, you're the only one for me (one for me)
(What I'm sayin')
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you (baby I'm with you)
Baby you're with me (baby you're with me, higher)
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's, that's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u (come on)
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
C'mon!
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
And throwing their love away
But I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
I don't wanna go another day
So I'm telling you, exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride, in our private lives
Ain't nobody gettin' in between
I want you to know that, you're the only one for me (one for me)
(What I'm sayin')
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
And now, ain't nothing else I can need
And now, I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you, we'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you (baby I'm with you)
Baby you're with me (baby you're with me, higher)
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's all that counts
So don't cha worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you, and you know me
And that's, that's why I say (Hey)
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u (come on)
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick wit u forever
Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick wit u
You know how to appreciate me, I must stick wit u, my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick wit u
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
procrastinator...
i've got lotsa things waiting for me, i just cant bring myself to finish them..
1) Spring cleaning of the house
i've got to do this all by myself. My sisters are working, younger one isn't really very helpful. And my bf has decided not to help me out... sigh... my 4 room flat isn't very big, but still.. too big for me to spring clean...
2) YJ ALUMNI E-Newsletter
I've distributed the work out, but it is way too late to start writing in order to email it out in January.. Arghhh... I still have to put it together and send it out. Anyhow it is not within my control now. i'll just have to wait till fri and ask them for the write-ups.. den my stress will set in :(
3) Tuition
NEED another tuition assignment, but haven contacted any tuition agency yet. Matters are complicated because my aunt has a tuition assignment centre, and she has promised to help me with it. However things are taking a little too long because i'm so BROKE right now.. I'm living on the daily allowance my parents are giving me, which should be more than enough if i stay at home and not run around like i do. RAhhh. It is not helping when my current tuition kid is cancelling her lessons every week. *frustration*
4) Packed days
Isn't really something that i have to do, just something that adds on to my frustration. I'm goin to a chalet today (SNAVA - I HAVE TO PAY 20 DOLLARS!!!!) Thurs-hoping to leave it for paul, we'll see. Fri, i have dentist appointment and meeting dear KAIWEI for dinner i think. Really want to go out aft that, but we'll see whether i have enough money to go out :P. And... sat i've gotta go PKS to help out.
I wanna play game... do nothing at home i guess.. Yawns... read my book...
Suckz.
and school is reopening in 1.5weeks' time.
Oh and for all who wants to know how i did for exams: i did badly.
Results = devestation ever since i stepped into law school. Hardwork doesn't help. Not to mention hardwork + occassion game playing.
Byebye china exchange program. It is a little late to say i'm not suited for law so i guess i'll just say, i'm just not smart enough for law sch.. Suckz.
This is depressing.
this is life.
i've got lotsa things waiting for me, i just cant bring myself to finish them..
1) Spring cleaning of the house
i've got to do this all by myself. My sisters are working, younger one isn't really very helpful. And my bf has decided not to help me out... sigh... my 4 room flat isn't very big, but still.. too big for me to spring clean...
2) YJ ALUMNI E-Newsletter
I've distributed the work out, but it is way too late to start writing in order to email it out in January.. Arghhh... I still have to put it together and send it out. Anyhow it is not within my control now. i'll just have to wait till fri and ask them for the write-ups.. den my stress will set in :(
3) Tuition
NEED another tuition assignment, but haven contacted any tuition agency yet. Matters are complicated because my aunt has a tuition assignment centre, and she has promised to help me with it. However things are taking a little too long because i'm so BROKE right now.. I'm living on the daily allowance my parents are giving me, which should be more than enough if i stay at home and not run around like i do. RAhhh. It is not helping when my current tuition kid is cancelling her lessons every week. *frustration*
4) Packed days
Isn't really something that i have to do, just something that adds on to my frustration. I'm goin to a chalet today (SNAVA - I HAVE TO PAY 20 DOLLARS!!!!) Thurs-hoping to leave it for paul, we'll see. Fri, i have dentist appointment and meeting dear KAIWEI for dinner i think. Really want to go out aft that, but we'll see whether i have enough money to go out :P. And... sat i've gotta go PKS to help out.
I wanna play game... do nothing at home i guess.. Yawns... read my book...
Suckz.
and school is reopening in 1.5weeks' time.
Oh and for all who wants to know how i did for exams: i did badly.
Results = devestation ever since i stepped into law school. Hardwork doesn't help. Not to mention hardwork + occassion game playing.
Byebye china exchange program. It is a little late to say i'm not suited for law so i guess i'll just say, i'm just not smart enough for law sch.. Suckz.
This is depressing.
this is life.
Monday, December 19, 2005
hahaha let me complete my unfinished business from yday...
as i was saying,
those in-charge weren't doing what they were suppose to do, doing things from other portfolio.. Bad management. I'm not saying everyone should stick to their job and not help others. However, when you want to help, you got to at least finish what you need to cover right?
Moreover, the vice chair and chair always stick together, like bee see honey lydat. Friend, if you donno the portfolio of vice chair right, let me tell you. It is to be there when the chair is not around. When chair is talking to campers, you will give instructions to the organisers. When chair need to attend to outside matters, the vice will take charge of the camp. Pls, don't stick to each other like girls go to toilet. You are running a whole camp of 160 over people, you need each other's company?
K i might be too harsh..the reason why i always get pissed off is because i expect too much from others and too lil of myself. Big big problem of mine. Gotta do something about it. New year resolution :d
I guess this time the good outweighs the bad at the camp because i'm kind of missing the camp. haha can't believe thou, but i don't miss it like the sabah trip thou. I believe it is because of the very nice people whom i met there. Yvette, Liwei (hahaha must write his name ah, cos he is reading), lok wei, rock, chu feng and randal. Logs and games team. Made the waterbombs, put up the castle wall, carry things, lame jokes, ghost stories, slack, eat.. everything together..
i guess of all people in the camp, i learnt the most from them. I guess others may think they're just a bunch of slackers, bunch of followers, indifferent to many things. But i see something else. I see them as a bunch of givers, very selfless people.
Talked to Liwei on msn yday, i still rem what he said "as long as i do what i am suppose to do, the campers are happy, i'm satisfied already"
I don't know how many of the organisers go with this mindset. And how many of them can actually do things behind the scene, not expecting any recognition, watsoever, and their satisfaction is from the camper's laughter and enjoyment.
When they forgot to thank the logs team, i was angry for them. But the logs team wasn't a least bit affected as i saw it. They joked about it to Lawrence, 'Oei... every year lydat one, forget to thank us... Don't do already lah' but they were laughing.
When everyone, GLs and organisers included, asked us for the light sticks, Chu feng insisted that the campers take first. When there wasn't enough and the stupid in charges collected the light sticks back. Yvette went to dig out another bunch from the boxes.
SBMY should be very thankful they don't have a selfish logs team. At the rate they are goin, a selfish logs team wont last long. True, everyone has their forte. They don't like to relate to people, therefore they want to be in logs. Not to say that GLs and other people are useless, but how many people can go on so long without appreciation? Perhaps i do not know the real story behind. I can only say they have earned my respect. A group of guys more matured than they and others think they are.
On the last night, we had our dinner as the campers were having debriefing. i was lying on the floor while ang hwee talked to the three of them. I pretended to sleep because i din want to talk. (partly because i just want to lie down) He commented on each of their character and their desire to learn buddhism. He told them that their desire and determination was weak. As i thought about it today, i wonder if it is because the group has became too big. That those who have certain understanding of buddhism has no time to reach out to them? to sit down and listen to them one to one? Is it time to devise a system, that those who are ready to receive more serious buddhism education to have classes, instead of a one-for-all class?
I just hope that at the end of all the fun, they still remember why they are doing what they set out to do.
as i was saying,
those in-charge weren't doing what they were suppose to do, doing things from other portfolio.. Bad management. I'm not saying everyone should stick to their job and not help others. However, when you want to help, you got to at least finish what you need to cover right?
Moreover, the vice chair and chair always stick together, like bee see honey lydat. Friend, if you donno the portfolio of vice chair right, let me tell you. It is to be there when the chair is not around. When chair is talking to campers, you will give instructions to the organisers. When chair need to attend to outside matters, the vice will take charge of the camp. Pls, don't stick to each other like girls go to toilet. You are running a whole camp of 160 over people, you need each other's company?
K i might be too harsh..the reason why i always get pissed off is because i expect too much from others and too lil of myself. Big big problem of mine. Gotta do something about it. New year resolution :d
I guess this time the good outweighs the bad at the camp because i'm kind of missing the camp. haha can't believe thou, but i don't miss it like the sabah trip thou. I believe it is because of the very nice people whom i met there. Yvette, Liwei (hahaha must write his name ah, cos he is reading), lok wei, rock, chu feng and randal. Logs and games team. Made the waterbombs, put up the castle wall, carry things, lame jokes, ghost stories, slack, eat.. everything together..
i guess of all people in the camp, i learnt the most from them. I guess others may think they're just a bunch of slackers, bunch of followers, indifferent to many things. But i see something else. I see them as a bunch of givers, very selfless people.
Talked to Liwei on msn yday, i still rem what he said "as long as i do what i am suppose to do, the campers are happy, i'm satisfied already"
I don't know how many of the organisers go with this mindset. And how many of them can actually do things behind the scene, not expecting any recognition, watsoever, and their satisfaction is from the camper's laughter and enjoyment.
When they forgot to thank the logs team, i was angry for them. But the logs team wasn't a least bit affected as i saw it. They joked about it to Lawrence, 'Oei... every year lydat one, forget to thank us... Don't do already lah' but they were laughing.
When everyone, GLs and organisers included, asked us for the light sticks, Chu feng insisted that the campers take first. When there wasn't enough and the stupid in charges collected the light sticks back. Yvette went to dig out another bunch from the boxes.
SBMY should be very thankful they don't have a selfish logs team. At the rate they are goin, a selfish logs team wont last long. True, everyone has their forte. They don't like to relate to people, therefore they want to be in logs. Not to say that GLs and other people are useless, but how many people can go on so long without appreciation? Perhaps i do not know the real story behind. I can only say they have earned my respect. A group of guys more matured than they and others think they are.
On the last night, we had our dinner as the campers were having debriefing. i was lying on the floor while ang hwee talked to the three of them. I pretended to sleep because i din want to talk. (partly because i just want to lie down) He commented on each of their character and their desire to learn buddhism. He told them that their desire and determination was weak. As i thought about it today, i wonder if it is because the group has became too big. That those who have certain understanding of buddhism has no time to reach out to them? to sit down and listen to them one to one? Is it time to devise a system, that those who are ready to receive more serious buddhism education to have classes, instead of a one-for-all class?
I just hope that at the end of all the fun, they still remember why they are doing what they set out to do.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Mr Paul is BACK!!!! YEayyyy
Haven been writing anything in the blog, decided to type something before he gets home and call me :D
Just went to help out at a buddhist camp, thankz to alvino and xiong, if not i wouldn't have been there. Probably spent my 3 days doing nothing at home, playing maple story and missing my boyfriend.
but everytime i go for SBMY camp (my second time) i seem to come back with a lot of complaints. Well, i'll elaborate on the good things that happened to me after my angry rant..
actually this time the overall camp was pretty nicely put together. probably because i wasn't a camper but one of the organisers (more like sai kang warrior). They invited speakers who actually look pretty pro, and the usual, meditation games yada yada. The movies were very nice also.
However, i wasn't too happy with the camp mistress, or rather her style of management. On day 0, we were asked to go help bring things from SBMY temple to camp site at LCK. She came in, asked us to gather for briefing. Things started out alright, i tot she looked pretty nice to work for. However, seems like she wanted to compensate for her size, her speech carried a pretty threatening tone. She said things like "Anyone with no forms have to go home tomorrow." and "Every bit of rice you are taking now is bought with the money from the donation box at the temple. Everyone of you should know how difficult it is for us to collect money there. So i hope all of you will not take time off during the camp".. well to both tt statment, i was thinking to myself, "since i dun haf forms i might as well go home now." and "den why am i paying camp fees for?" respectively...
Well, she totally pissed me off.
Anyway, i wasn't there for the first day. so no comments.
Second day onwards started the crazy schedule, (plus i had very bad cramps on dat day) had to walk like... 20 mins under the scorching sun, to the frog farm once i got to campsite. then conduct games till throat was super sore. den stupid timing, all come together.. do till i headache. but i really enjoyed my station.. cos i got to tekan pple. HAw Haw Hawwww
after which just kept making water bombs, cos they needed them to play some sniper games... Which i didn't join cos by then my cramps were killing me.. I just showered and went to bed.
Third day also sianed... morning wake up go sun tan liao... do up the 'castle wall' under the sun. meanwhile feed the ants (cos we were in the field).. afterwhich make water bombs again for war game (7,500 water bombs made altogether) afternoon i go sleep again hahahhaa at night there was campfire..
then i blood boil again.
Before the campfire, there was buffet dinner for us, parents who came for the campfire. organisers had to take last so by the time they finished taking, there was nothing but garnish left for us...
Missy asked us to attend to the parents, entertain them. I look like wat? PR ah? not i dunwan to talk to them, they dunwan to talk to me k. First, they are there to look at their kids interact, film their kids. Second, they were eating, am i suppose to interrupt their meal? third, you have so many GLS who can talk to the parents about their kids, why ask the logs pple to go talk to the parents? tell them how to make waterbombs?
STUPID nia..
YOUR ORGANISERS are sitting down, doesn't mean they haven done anything yet. Allocated the job liao den trust them to do the job, trust ur heads to make them work. Dun say things like "eh, you guys like campers lydat, must call so many times den move". The only reason they're not movie is because ur head is not doing his job, ur head is not doing his job is because YOU are not doing ur job!
Camp mistress always in front of the campers givin instructions, games-IC doing MC job at the same time.
Oeiii i haven finish..
TO BE CONT...
wr
Haven been writing anything in the blog, decided to type something before he gets home and call me :D
Just went to help out at a buddhist camp, thankz to alvino and xiong, if not i wouldn't have been there. Probably spent my 3 days doing nothing at home, playing maple story and missing my boyfriend.
but everytime i go for SBMY camp (my second time) i seem to come back with a lot of complaints. Well, i'll elaborate on the good things that happened to me after my angry rant..
actually this time the overall camp was pretty nicely put together. probably because i wasn't a camper but one of the organisers (more like sai kang warrior). They invited speakers who actually look pretty pro, and the usual, meditation games yada yada. The movies were very nice also.
However, i wasn't too happy with the camp mistress, or rather her style of management. On day 0, we were asked to go help bring things from SBMY temple to camp site at LCK. She came in, asked us to gather for briefing. Things started out alright, i tot she looked pretty nice to work for. However, seems like she wanted to compensate for her size, her speech carried a pretty threatening tone. She said things like "Anyone with no forms have to go home tomorrow." and "Every bit of rice you are taking now is bought with the money from the donation box at the temple. Everyone of you should know how difficult it is for us to collect money there. So i hope all of you will not take time off during the camp".. well to both tt statment, i was thinking to myself, "since i dun haf forms i might as well go home now." and "den why am i paying camp fees for?" respectively...
Well, she totally pissed me off.
Anyway, i wasn't there for the first day. so no comments.
Second day onwards started the crazy schedule, (plus i had very bad cramps on dat day) had to walk like... 20 mins under the scorching sun, to the frog farm once i got to campsite. then conduct games till throat was super sore. den stupid timing, all come together.. do till i headache. but i really enjoyed my station.. cos i got to tekan pple. HAw Haw Hawwww
after which just kept making water bombs, cos they needed them to play some sniper games... Which i didn't join cos by then my cramps were killing me.. I just showered and went to bed.
Third day also sianed... morning wake up go sun tan liao... do up the 'castle wall' under the sun. meanwhile feed the ants (cos we were in the field).. afterwhich make water bombs again for war game (7,500 water bombs made altogether) afternoon i go sleep again hahahhaa at night there was campfire..
then i blood boil again.
Before the campfire, there was buffet dinner for us, parents who came for the campfire. organisers had to take last so by the time they finished taking, there was nothing but garnish left for us...
Missy asked us to attend to the parents, entertain them. I look like wat? PR ah? not i dunwan to talk to them, they dunwan to talk to me k. First, they are there to look at their kids interact, film their kids. Second, they were eating, am i suppose to interrupt their meal? third, you have so many GLS who can talk to the parents about their kids, why ask the logs pple to go talk to the parents? tell them how to make waterbombs?
STUPID nia..
YOUR ORGANISERS are sitting down, doesn't mean they haven done anything yet. Allocated the job liao den trust them to do the job, trust ur heads to make them work. Dun say things like "eh, you guys like campers lydat, must call so many times den move". The only reason they're not movie is because ur head is not doing his job, ur head is not doing his job is because YOU are not doing ur job!
Camp mistress always in front of the campers givin instructions, games-IC doing MC job at the same time.
Oeiii i haven finish..
TO BE CONT...
wr
Thursday, December 08, 2005
| Your 2005 Song Is |
 Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care. |
| Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating |
 You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility. |
| How You Are In Love |
 You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
| You Are Mexican Food |
 Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you. |
| Your Outrageous Name is: |
 |
| You Are 40% Weird |
 Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it! |
| Your Sexy Brazilian Name is: |
 |
| Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible |
 Fun, funky, and a little bit euro. You love your summers to be full of style and sun! |
| Your Hair Should Be Pink |
 Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow. |
| Your Eyes Should Be Brown |
 Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart |
| Your Animal Personality |
 Your Power Animal: Eagle Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale You are active, a challenger, and optimistic. Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal. |
HAhahhaha Saw the birthdate thingy at my friend's blog, decided to try it out(I guess largely because i am waiting for a patch for my game (Romance of the Three Kingdom). Yes i've upgraded (not much thou) to a thinking game.
But the reason why i'm patching it is because i cannot use the cheat codes!!! HAHAHAH i've no shame in saying that. Because i only have like 8 people to protect two carriages! RAHHh How do they expect me to strategise that?!
Obviously i cannot be a war strategist. (how ever that occupation is called)
Muahahah back to try my cheat codes.
(now you guys know i'm busy with...surprise, surprise!)
LOL
WR
But the reason why i'm patching it is because i cannot use the cheat codes!!! HAHAHAH i've no shame in saying that. Because i only have like 8 people to protect two carriages! RAHHh How do they expect me to strategise that?!
Obviously i cannot be a war strategist. (how ever that occupation is called)
Muahahah back to try my cheat codes.
(now you guys know i'm busy with...surprise, surprise!)
LOL
WR
| Your Birthdate: May 29 |
 You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet. Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings. You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments. You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action. Your strength: Your vivid imagination Your weakness: Fear of failure Your power color: Coral Your power symbol: Oval Your power month: November |
Friday, December 02, 2005
Actually i got a number of things to blog about, since i haven been blogging for some time. LOL Dun blame me, blame my exams.
Had the Alumni Tea on 26th Nov. I thought it went pretty well for first timers, for starters. Other than the VP telling the members how much money the sch plans to make frm the 20th Anniversary events, i would say things went like we planned.
Actually i couldn't believe it when VP was talking about the amount of donations they hope to get from the Alumni. Not to mention that she was the first to present. Using the same blunt way and telling us that the college only wants money from us like last year, i really wonder why am i doing this.
Tried as i might during my presentation, our presentation, i guess we had lost some of them. On top of that, many did not come wanting to help i guess. Most came for the friends, the teachers.
It is going to be a long and difficult journey...
I guess what YJ students lack is confidence to speak up, like most of the Singaporeans. Or they just cant be bothered. I'd rather the former, at least that is something i can help. People who are indifferent, will remain so. In some aspects of my life, perhaps i should be the last person to criticise about these people. Still, i have to say it. Guess some people lose grip in their life, others neva find it. I really wonder what are they living for? Without dreams, without anything that they are willing to work hard for, without something that they really want, without a belief in life.
I don't know, how do you teach awareness? How do you teach someone to learn how to observe? observe others, observe themselves. Knowing who they are, their principles in life, what do they want.
Met up with a friend from JC yesterday. He changed a lot. No longer the loud mouth that he used to be. I believe he is someone who knows what he want, and he is going out for it. He is trying to better himself. From his mannerism and what he speaks of, i can sense that he went through alot. Became more matured than most of our classmates have. Being one of the students that he has praised, i'm glad this friend of mine has proven him right. More than that, i'm happy for him.
I've heard other guys say 'i think i've matured alot from this. I wont look at life the same angle again.' Then later, he say that 'i would have joined, if there were any pretty girls in the club.' Then you wonder what may his definition of maturity be...
Sian.
-wr-
Had the Alumni Tea on 26th Nov. I thought it went pretty well for first timers, for starters. Other than the VP telling the members how much money the sch plans to make frm the 20th Anniversary events, i would say things went like we planned.
Actually i couldn't believe it when VP was talking about the amount of donations they hope to get from the Alumni. Not to mention that she was the first to present. Using the same blunt way and telling us that the college only wants money from us like last year, i really wonder why am i doing this.
Tried as i might during my presentation, our presentation, i guess we had lost some of them. On top of that, many did not come wanting to help i guess. Most came for the friends, the teachers.
It is going to be a long and difficult journey...
I guess what YJ students lack is confidence to speak up, like most of the Singaporeans. Or they just cant be bothered. I'd rather the former, at least that is something i can help. People who are indifferent, will remain so. In some aspects of my life, perhaps i should be the last person to criticise about these people. Still, i have to say it. Guess some people lose grip in their life, others neva find it. I really wonder what are they living for? Without dreams, without anything that they are willing to work hard for, without something that they really want, without a belief in life.
I don't know, how do you teach awareness? How do you teach someone to learn how to observe? observe others, observe themselves. Knowing who they are, their principles in life, what do they want.
Met up with a friend from JC yesterday. He changed a lot. No longer the loud mouth that he used to be. I believe he is someone who knows what he want, and he is going out for it. He is trying to better himself. From his mannerism and what he speaks of, i can sense that he went through alot. Became more matured than most of our classmates have. Being one of the students that he has praised, i'm glad this friend of mine has proven him right. More than that, i'm happy for him.
I've heard other guys say 'i think i've matured alot from this. I wont look at life the same angle again.' Then later, he say that 'i would have joined, if there were any pretty girls in the club.' Then you wonder what may his definition of maturity be...
Sian.
-wr-
Monday, November 14, 2005
Woke up bright and early today to study (Sunday eh!), but 3 pages into my CLT text, half my mind is thinking about maple story... So i thought i'll blog instead of starting the game, in case i cannot end it later ;p
Well there isn't much to blog about, have been studying the whole week. Din quarrel with paul, usually no one at home, din even read the papers... Think my life is pretty dead right now. Cannot stop thinking about what i want to do when my papers are over...
I just read about Andy lau yesterday on a two week old magazine. Talks about how he work 365 days a year, given his status and wealth, he can easily take things slowly, become more arrogant, etc. Instead of having more and more silly news like who might he be dating, changing gf every week, he has always appeared 'clean' and well taken care of by the reporters. The report mentioned his 25 years of hard work on the silver screen. What struck me is this paragraph.
When we were in school, we always admire the student who manages to do well without studying but simply smarter than the rest. However, we always neglect the ones who really work for their good results. This is human nature, we like reap what we are lazy to sow. We want to get things without working for it.
This is a perfect description of me.
Everyone wishes to think that he is the smart one, who only have to do a little last minute revision before the exam and can pass with flying colours. I'm one such example, ever since secondary school. I remember the days i spent sleeping in classes, failing all my tests, going to fast food restaurants after school. Come sec 4, mugging near the prelims to pass my maths and sciences. Picking and choosing chapters to study for humanities.
Fortunately, i scrapped through my prelims, ended up in YJ.
Come O'lvls, my results were far worse than what my friends. I couldn't complain.
It was difficult to convince myself that i have to work hard for what i want, because i'm no one special. In fact, all these years of education have taught me that, i'm especially unlucky. If i failed to revise, work hard, then it is more likely than not i wont do well.
It is painful to realise.
Such experience is impossible to teach. As much as you tell someone else this, it will not be effective as going through it yourself.
I told my sister two days ago after joggin,
"I can only support u as much as i can when you are putting in the effort. If you have given up, there isn't must i can do. And remember, no one will wait for you to help u."
I bet she cant rem it by now.
But i guess i was just trying to remind myself of something i've begun to forget.
Cheers!
Well there isn't much to blog about, have been studying the whole week. Din quarrel with paul, usually no one at home, din even read the papers... Think my life is pretty dead right now. Cannot stop thinking about what i want to do when my papers are over...
I just read about Andy lau yesterday on a two week old magazine. Talks about how he work 365 days a year, given his status and wealth, he can easily take things slowly, become more arrogant, etc. Instead of having more and more silly news like who might he be dating, changing gf every week, he has always appeared 'clean' and well taken care of by the reporters. The report mentioned his 25 years of hard work on the silver screen. What struck me is this paragraph.
When we were in school, we always admire the student who manages to do well without studying but simply smarter than the rest. However, we always neglect the ones who really work for their good results. This is human nature, we like reap what we are lazy to sow. We want to get things without working for it.
This is a perfect description of me.
Everyone wishes to think that he is the smart one, who only have to do a little last minute revision before the exam and can pass with flying colours. I'm one such example, ever since secondary school. I remember the days i spent sleeping in classes, failing all my tests, going to fast food restaurants after school. Come sec 4, mugging near the prelims to pass my maths and sciences. Picking and choosing chapters to study for humanities.
Fortunately, i scrapped through my prelims, ended up in YJ.
Come O'lvls, my results were far worse than what my friends. I couldn't complain.
It was difficult to convince myself that i have to work hard for what i want, because i'm no one special. In fact, all these years of education have taught me that, i'm especially unlucky. If i failed to revise, work hard, then it is more likely than not i wont do well.
It is painful to realise.
Such experience is impossible to teach. As much as you tell someone else this, it will not be effective as going through it yourself.
I told my sister two days ago after joggin,
"I can only support u as much as i can when you are putting in the effort. If you have given up, there isn't must i can do. And remember, no one will wait for you to help u."
I bet she cant rem it by now.
But i guess i was just trying to remind myself of something i've begun to forget.
Cheers!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Fell sick while trying to study. Couldn't sleep then, sickness aggravated. Mum forced me to see the doctor last night. Paul came to pick me up to see the doc...
Very tired now, don't feel like studying after studying from 8am to 12 noon just now. Took a nap till 230pm. But wasn't helpful. Now i feel more drained than anything.
He refused to come over because my parents are home.. Sigh, we've been through this before. I don't know his issues with seeing my parents. He wasn't like that when he wanted to patch. I don't know if i'm asking for too much, but i just want him ard when i'm not feeling well.
Things don't change, do they? maybe i'm whining over nothing. But since i'm down with flu, i have the license to do all these. Just blame it on the medication.
I went to ur event despite being sick, spent the time i shld be resting with you, your family and everything that was important to you. Unlike you, i could have spent that time studying. Perhaps you thought that was for my good. But on my part, all i thought of when i contemplated if i should go, was that it was important for you. Down with cold, sitting in the air-con room for 2 hours plus, i'm willing to go through. My house, with my parents, too much?
It is not because the difference in character.
You're right, i need all your attention.
I'm just too disappointed right now. If history has to repeat itself everytime pressure adds on, i'm sorry, i can't take it.
I have my enough pressure on me, i told you before, i don't need anymore.
Very tired now, don't feel like studying after studying from 8am to 12 noon just now. Took a nap till 230pm. But wasn't helpful. Now i feel more drained than anything.
He refused to come over because my parents are home.. Sigh, we've been through this before. I don't know his issues with seeing my parents. He wasn't like that when he wanted to patch. I don't know if i'm asking for too much, but i just want him ard when i'm not feeling well.
Things don't change, do they? maybe i'm whining over nothing. But since i'm down with flu, i have the license to do all these. Just blame it on the medication.
I went to ur event despite being sick, spent the time i shld be resting with you, your family and everything that was important to you. Unlike you, i could have spent that time studying. Perhaps you thought that was for my good. But on my part, all i thought of when i contemplated if i should go, was that it was important for you. Down with cold, sitting in the air-con room for 2 hours plus, i'm willing to go through. My house, with my parents, too much?
It is not because the difference in character.
You're right, i need all your attention.
I'm just too disappointed right now. If history has to repeat itself everytime pressure adds on, i'm sorry, i can't take it.
I have my enough pressure on me, i told you before, i don't need anymore.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
shld try very hard not to get distracted by anything today...
better start the day by chanting...
mayb will ask uncle to send me that chant again..
ahahhaha
It helps me to focus
:D
WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
oH,
btw it is my younger sister's birthday todaY!!!
she is a halloween baby then, hahaha i think that explains why she is so queer...
Wonder if i shld celebrate for her
ahahahah
better start the day by chanting...
mayb will ask uncle to send me that chant again..
ahahhaha
It helps me to focus
:D
WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
oH,
btw it is my younger sister's birthday todaY!!!
she is a halloween baby then, hahaha i think that explains why she is so queer...
Wonder if i shld celebrate for her
ahahahah
Sunday, October 30, 2005
I ended because my breakfast was here...
I just wanna mention something else
I think many of the human rights supporters will be jumping when they see this post (not for joy definitely)
Anyway, from my previous entry, it is easy to infer that I think human rights can be consented away. Meaning, if they people choose to do something wrong, they have no human rights. That is not what i am proposing.
My idea of Human rights is based upon people making choices (as wrong as i may be), and i will go as far as saying the state policies should not be subjected to Human rights (which is very wrong for many of you out there.) Let my try to explain myself first:
My idea of Human rights is based upon the choices people make, you have the right to make choices in what you want to do, how to do it, legally or illegally. The consequences that comes with it is because of the choices they make. They will be punished or awarded based on those choices, the right of choice. The consequences are sought of foreseeable and ought not be subsumed under 'right', if need be, perhaps 'right to be punished', because each one is rational individual (an assumption...)
The state ought not to be subjected to my idea of human rights because the choice is by individuals. The consequences sanction by the state is decided after weighing the rights of different categories of people. Some balance ought to be struck definitely, but more often than not, other factors such as the market interest, relationships with other countries etc will come into play. The state has also to be stern about their principles on certain things.
Anyway, at the end of the day, a lot of laws are not those that we break on a habitual basis. If we eat, work, shit, sleep as normal human beings. Will we go around killing people? Will we traffic drugs? Will we do weird things like pointing third finger at ur neighbour?
I just wanna mention something else
I think many of the human rights supporters will be jumping when they see this post (not for joy definitely)
Anyway, from my previous entry, it is easy to infer that I think human rights can be consented away. Meaning, if they people choose to do something wrong, they have no human rights. That is not what i am proposing.
My idea of Human rights is based upon people making choices (as wrong as i may be), and i will go as far as saying the state policies should not be subjected to Human rights (which is very wrong for many of you out there.) Let my try to explain myself first:
My idea of Human rights is based upon the choices people make, you have the right to make choices in what you want to do, how to do it, legally or illegally. The consequences that comes with it is because of the choices they make. They will be punished or awarded based on those choices, the right of choice. The consequences are sought of foreseeable and ought not be subsumed under 'right', if need be, perhaps 'right to be punished', because each one is rational individual (an assumption...)
The state ought not to be subjected to my idea of human rights because the choice is by individuals. The consequences sanction by the state is decided after weighing the rights of different categories of people. Some balance ought to be struck definitely, but more often than not, other factors such as the market interest, relationships with other countries etc will come into play. The state has also to be stern about their principles on certain things.
Anyway, at the end of the day, a lot of laws are not those that we break on a habitual basis. If we eat, work, shit, sleep as normal human beings. Will we go around killing people? Will we traffic drugs? Will we do weird things like pointing third finger at ur neighbour?
Tot i'll write a short one before looking for facts in my mock trials, and since i managed to read the papers today. Hahahah i realised ST is easier to understand than the evening chinese papers. The colour pictures are just too distracting for me, half the time sensationalising the news, telling me everything but what really happened... Is this what chinese pple are concern about now? as the Morning chinese paper grow thinner and thinner, i wonder what is actually available for them.
Anyhow, in the very slim chinese morning papers, I read an article about Australians (pple in melbourne) opposing our death penalty. Local court had sentence a Australian-Vietnamese(Aus by Nationality and Viet by birth, i think) to death penalty because of drug trafficking. This sparked the whole debate (again) about us not respecting human rights, etc. Being pressured by his people and the opposition party over there, the PM actually requested Singapore to be lenient when sentencing. In contrary to his earlier statement that Aus will not interfere when Australians break the laws of other countries.
(NB: anything that i'm writing is based on that article that i read)
I have to agree with the author to a great extent that we should not back down on this.
We had our death penalty since 1975, why in the world should we change our law, just because a foreigner has broken it HERE, with knowledge that death penalty existed HERE?
Apart from unusual circumstances such as some gang has kidnapped his family and threatened him into doing this.
If he wanted to escape death penalty, traffic the drug somewhere where there isn't any death penalty. I bet trafficking drug to Singapore gives them a higher profit margin because of the tough penalties here. So if you had assumed the risked because of the extra profits, That is a risk he has assumed and it materialised. What do these people want? A fair drug market ah?
Secondly, the essence of death penalty is to deter, granted, there are still people trafficking drugs, hence it is not 100% successful at deterring. This might be due to reasons of higher profits and demand (mayb in some extreme cases, just for the fun...) For a reasonable person, an act that attacts a punishment as serious as death will make him think twice before doing it. So logically speaking, EVEN the death penalty cannot ensure 100% no trafficking of drugs, wouldn't lessening the penalty make it more attractive to traffic drugs here?
Thirdly, the author mentioned that these people are crying out loud for human rights. So you see us as suppressing the accused, what about when the accused sell those drugs and affect thousands of people, who's family are broken up because of all the repercussions that drug addiction brings? What about the rights of these people? Should they not be protected then? In weighing out the rights of innocent consumers (as they always assume) and those people bring the drugs in from less regulated areas. The choice has to be made by the state, and the choice is clear.
Of cos, it may be argued that human rights activists are not asking for no penalty at all, but death penalty is just not justified. Well, as i mentioned above, it is meant as a deterrance. And Singapore is famous for her death penalty for drug trafficking. There seemed to be no reason why a drug trafficker won't have knowledge of the sentence that is attached to the crime. So equiped with that knowledge, he thought he could have made it out with more money than the same batch of drugs can fetch. Unfortunately for him, he was caught. The risks he had undertook came true, he was sentenced to death. Sad, yes. But he had implied consented. (hahahah contracts...)
i'm not some cruel bitch who want to see people dead. In fact, the first time i sat in high court to listen to a murder trial, i felt bad thinking that the max sentence for that man is death penalty, regardless of what i said before trial.
However, i believe the penalty is justified for drugs trafficking than murder (except of cos a serial killer or that sort). Murder may be because of a split second of rage, but not all rage cases can come under CHNAM (culpable homicide not amounting to murder). Drug traffickers are actually earning money by selling poison..
Once again, everyone entitled to their views. I'm just writing my stand...
Anyhow, in the very slim chinese morning papers, I read an article about Australians (pple in melbourne) opposing our death penalty. Local court had sentence a Australian-Vietnamese(Aus by Nationality and Viet by birth, i think) to death penalty because of drug trafficking. This sparked the whole debate (again) about us not respecting human rights, etc. Being pressured by his people and the opposition party over there, the PM actually requested Singapore to be lenient when sentencing. In contrary to his earlier statement that Aus will not interfere when Australians break the laws of other countries.
(NB: anything that i'm writing is based on that article that i read)
I have to agree with the author to a great extent that we should not back down on this.
We had our death penalty since 1975, why in the world should we change our law, just because a foreigner has broken it HERE, with knowledge that death penalty existed HERE?
Apart from unusual circumstances such as some gang has kidnapped his family and threatened him into doing this.
If he wanted to escape death penalty, traffic the drug somewhere where there isn't any death penalty. I bet trafficking drug to Singapore gives them a higher profit margin because of the tough penalties here. So if you had assumed the risked because of the extra profits, That is a risk he has assumed and it materialised. What do these people want? A fair drug market ah?
Secondly, the essence of death penalty is to deter, granted, there are still people trafficking drugs, hence it is not 100% successful at deterring. This might be due to reasons of higher profits and demand (mayb in some extreme cases, just for the fun...) For a reasonable person, an act that attacts a punishment as serious as death will make him think twice before doing it. So logically speaking, EVEN the death penalty cannot ensure 100% no trafficking of drugs, wouldn't lessening the penalty make it more attractive to traffic drugs here?
Thirdly, the author mentioned that these people are crying out loud for human rights. So you see us as suppressing the accused, what about when the accused sell those drugs and affect thousands of people, who's family are broken up because of all the repercussions that drug addiction brings? What about the rights of these people? Should they not be protected then? In weighing out the rights of innocent consumers (as they always assume) and those people bring the drugs in from less regulated areas. The choice has to be made by the state, and the choice is clear.
Of cos, it may be argued that human rights activists are not asking for no penalty at all, but death penalty is just not justified. Well, as i mentioned above, it is meant as a deterrance. And Singapore is famous for her death penalty for drug trafficking. There seemed to be no reason why a drug trafficker won't have knowledge of the sentence that is attached to the crime. So equiped with that knowledge, he thought he could have made it out with more money than the same batch of drugs can fetch. Unfortunately for him, he was caught. The risks he had undertook came true, he was sentenced to death. Sad, yes. But he had implied consented. (hahahah contracts...)
i'm not some cruel bitch who want to see people dead. In fact, the first time i sat in high court to listen to a murder trial, i felt bad thinking that the max sentence for that man is death penalty, regardless of what i said before trial.
However, i believe the penalty is justified for drugs trafficking than murder (except of cos a serial killer or that sort). Murder may be because of a split second of rage, but not all rage cases can come under CHNAM (culpable homicide not amounting to murder). Drug traffickers are actually earning money by selling poison..
Once again, everyone entitled to their views. I'm just writing my stand...
Friday, October 28, 2005
Just had a chat with my mom and sister, then i realised that i have been really lazy for the past year, compared to my days in YJ.
Sian... I think of the things i want to do in my life, and see that i have to work very hard to get them.. tt's when i start to give myself excuses to slack. E.g. too many smart people in law school, no way i can get a good grade.
Think of working hard just ... sounds tired... hhahahahaha yes, i'm plain lazy. My philosophy in life is "You gotta work hard to be lazy." Perfectly logical when you think about it..
Good bye Maple Story... Even if I don't get to go China for exchange, it is still for my own good to do relatively better this sem..
HAI...
It is when you try ur very best, and u get screwed up...
Perhaps tt's what i'm trying to pre-empt... as usual...
Sian.
Muah Ji in action..
Good bye to Muah Ji Me.
Wenrong
Sian... I think of the things i want to do in my life, and see that i have to work very hard to get them.. tt's when i start to give myself excuses to slack. E.g. too many smart people in law school, no way i can get a good grade.
Think of working hard just ... sounds tired... hhahahahaha yes, i'm plain lazy. My philosophy in life is "You gotta work hard to be lazy." Perfectly logical when you think about it..
Good bye Maple Story... Even if I don't get to go China for exchange, it is still for my own good to do relatively better this sem..
HAI...
It is when you try ur very best, and u get screwed up...
Perhaps tt's what i'm trying to pre-empt... as usual...
Sian.
Muah Ji in action..
Good bye to Muah Ji Me.
Wenrong
hey guys, sorry man, haven been updating my blog since god-knows-when...
Don't really have anything controversial, or interesting, or intellectual to put on my blog... But den again, i think nothing much here's any of the above, Hiakz
Anyhow, much of my life is taken up by Maple story, studying and Paul plus trying to get some social life. Blogging isn't really a priority right now..
Plus all the hype about bloggers being charged with the Sedition Act... Talking about the internet is a free space, to support free speech.
Look, like i've said one year ago, and i still stand by what i say now. You know very well you are writing on a public domain, you know there will be people looking whether or not u secure ur blog with a password. So if you face the consequences when you try to play with the rules.
Freedom of speech will only come if people start taking responsibilities of what they say.
Many people wont agree, my Law frens definitely. And i don't intend to argue with them. Everyone is entitled to their views. If they think that Singaporeans can afford to have more freedom in whatever they do when they cannot even take the responsibility to preserve the very fabric that Singapore is made up of, den so be it.
what xia.... suddenly i'm so popular on msn, everyone started msging me... 2 of them asking for muggers, one to ask me if i'm goin to the LFC retreat tml, one asking me about my fren whom he is interested in and... one asking if i'm free for gathering on sunday...
Law Sch's student exchange program just started taking in application. Initially i din wanna apply. First, my grades are really bad since year 1. I need my year 3 to pull them up in case i fall into the 2-2 category (which BCG won't wanna employ). Second, it will cost quite a bit, even if i'm goin to China. Sigh..
When i looked at the application form today and think about who to ask as referee, i realised i haven accomplished much in Law school. I wonder how many tutors really have a good impression or perhaps even an impression of me being in their class. I know i definitely have improved in some ways since Law Sch started. But i've also become more critical of myself, less confident in sch and i guess it is unhealthy?
I just received my prop law assignment grades yesterday - B-. I was told many people din do well. But then again, i've put in a lot of effort into this assignment, then. Then my fren who surf the net during tutorials got a better grade than me. Isn't it frustrating when however hard you work, you simply cannot get pass a certain grade?
I need to work harder.
Don't really have anything controversial, or interesting, or intellectual to put on my blog... But den again, i think nothing much here's any of the above, Hiakz
Anyhow, much of my life is taken up by Maple story, studying and Paul plus trying to get some social life. Blogging isn't really a priority right now..
Plus all the hype about bloggers being charged with the Sedition Act... Talking about the internet is a free space, to support free speech.
Look, like i've said one year ago, and i still stand by what i say now. You know very well you are writing on a public domain, you know there will be people looking whether or not u secure ur blog with a password. So if you face the consequences when you try to play with the rules.
Freedom of speech will only come if people start taking responsibilities of what they say.
Many people wont agree, my Law frens definitely. And i don't intend to argue with them. Everyone is entitled to their views. If they think that Singaporeans can afford to have more freedom in whatever they do when they cannot even take the responsibility to preserve the very fabric that Singapore is made up of, den so be it.
what xia.... suddenly i'm so popular on msn, everyone started msging me... 2 of them asking for muggers, one to ask me if i'm goin to the LFC retreat tml, one asking me about my fren whom he is interested in and... one asking if i'm free for gathering on sunday...
Law Sch's student exchange program just started taking in application. Initially i din wanna apply. First, my grades are really bad since year 1. I need my year 3 to pull them up in case i fall into the 2-2 category (which BCG won't wanna employ). Second, it will cost quite a bit, even if i'm goin to China. Sigh..
When i looked at the application form today and think about who to ask as referee, i realised i haven accomplished much in Law school. I wonder how many tutors really have a good impression or perhaps even an impression of me being in their class. I know i definitely have improved in some ways since Law Sch started. But i've also become more critical of myself, less confident in sch and i guess it is unhealthy?
I just received my prop law assignment grades yesterday - B-. I was told many people din do well. But then again, i've put in a lot of effort into this assignment, then. Then my fren who surf the net during tutorials got a better grade than me. Isn't it frustrating when however hard you work, you simply cannot get pass a certain grade?
I need to work harder.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
i'm addicted to maple story.
for those of you who have no idea what that is, it is an multiple-player RPG game which you play online.
For some reason i cannot d/l the new game client with the new additions to the game. It is disgusting how they take advantage of our addiction. They simply don't do a good job linking the downloads! And my stupid sch connection which usually can download things pretty quickly, chooses to screw up today. I'm left here, waiting for the game client to be done d/ling after 81 hours.
Damn i hate this.
Perhaps i shld consider quiting playing the game altogether. Considering my exams are round the corner
HAHAHA, yes my exams seem to be ancillary to the difficulties in d/lding, you haven't read me wrongly.
81 hours...
for those of you who have no idea what that is, it is an multiple-player RPG game which you play online.
For some reason i cannot d/l the new game client with the new additions to the game. It is disgusting how they take advantage of our addiction. They simply don't do a good job linking the downloads! And my stupid sch connection which usually can download things pretty quickly, chooses to screw up today. I'm left here, waiting for the game client to be done d/ling after 81 hours.
Damn i hate this.
Perhaps i shld consider quiting playing the game altogether. Considering my exams are round the corner
HAHAHA, yes my exams seem to be ancillary to the difficulties in d/lding, you haven't read me wrongly.
81 hours...
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I've just sent an email to the pro-tem team for YJ alumni, one with a pretty frustrated tone (according to my fren). However, i couldn't help it. On one hand i cannot expect everyone to put this as anywhere near a priority, on the other, i can't do this alone. I tot that since we have all pledged our commitment, we shld at least see it through. To establish a functioning ex-co and that's it. But here i am, having problem organising meetings with full attendance of the pro-tem, and getting response from them for event details or suggestions. As much as i try to make things easy for them by emailing them to inform and get feedback, their indifference makes it difficult for progress. How can i expect the greater mass of the members to respond, when the core group cannot get its act together? I really wonder if i should go on or to just f*ck it.
My own friends from YJ are not supportive of the alumni either. I've met up with a couple of friends for movie a few days back, the little time i was with them, i spent it trying to convince them to come back for the tea. I'm beginning to feel like i'm selling the alumni like MLM, trying to make them buy by harassing them. The closest friends i had, or so i thought, i had problem calling them to support me. Personally, i don't want them to think that i'm just looking for them when i have some agenda. I guess i'll have to attribute this to my absence from the group throughout my first year. No excuse. Most of them just took it as i've left the group because of my boyfriend and only looking for them when i break up. I can't blame them for feeling that way thou because it appears so. But i guess when i try to get them together, there isn't much to talk to them about except listen to their army stories. I don't blame them because their lives are just about army right now. However, it is difficult to organise a gathering when most of us are busy with our own lives.
I sometimes question my passion for the alumni.
I spent my most hardworking days in Yj, to be frank, the only thing i learnt is academic things (and largely not from the teachers). But i've learnt about life, really grew up in YJ. I've learnt that sometimes when life takes a nasty turn, it may be for the better. A place where i hated the system and learnt to live with it. A place where i got into trouble with the system but managed to survive it. A place where i've proved my worth to myself. I hate the school, used to.
That is why i want to change it.
Damn
My own friends from YJ are not supportive of the alumni either. I've met up with a couple of friends for movie a few days back, the little time i was with them, i spent it trying to convince them to come back for the tea. I'm beginning to feel like i'm selling the alumni like MLM, trying to make them buy by harassing them. The closest friends i had, or so i thought, i had problem calling them to support me. Personally, i don't want them to think that i'm just looking for them when i have some agenda. I guess i'll have to attribute this to my absence from the group throughout my first year. No excuse. Most of them just took it as i've left the group because of my boyfriend and only looking for them when i break up. I can't blame them for feeling that way thou because it appears so. But i guess when i try to get them together, there isn't much to talk to them about except listen to their army stories. I don't blame them because their lives are just about army right now. However, it is difficult to organise a gathering when most of us are busy with our own lives.
I sometimes question my passion for the alumni.
I spent my most hardworking days in Yj, to be frank, the only thing i learnt is academic things (and largely not from the teachers). But i've learnt about life, really grew up in YJ. I've learnt that sometimes when life takes a nasty turn, it may be for the better. A place where i hated the system and learnt to live with it. A place where i got into trouble with the system but managed to survive it. A place where i've proved my worth to myself. I hate the school, used to.
That is why i want to change it.
Damn
Thursday, September 22, 2005
So sick of being the mediator at home, why do i have to know everything when they don't like to tell each other? Maybe i shldn't be such a busybody at home, just keep to myself, don't ask them about their lives, rush off for work as fast as i can, come home real tired...
I'm not blaming them for doing what they are suppose to do.. but why has they become so absorbed by their own lives, that when they think they're being considerate, they're actually causing much more misunderstanding? They are all very generous, friendly and nice people individually. Why do they have to impose their idea of being considerate on others, such that it becomes more of a burden to each other?
She tries to bring her dad to doctor's appointment all the time because she doesn't want the rest of them to take off from their work. Being a tuition teacher, she doesn't want to burden the rest, hence she changes her schedule as and when to suit the appointments. Also, she is like the mother in the household, she cooks and clean and does all the household chores. Although she doesn't ask for anything back from her siblings, her efforts are almost always seen as "she took it up herself, she will redo it if we help anyway". A person who like to do things her way, her siblings know better than to help which she continues to pack herself with more work. The only problem is that, there is only so much that a person can do, and with all that stress she packed herself with, how does one expect her to smile all the time? Not to mention that she is a serious person by nature.
He has got a 9 to 5 job, as the eldest son in the family, he tries his best to be aware of what is going on. He tried catering to everyone's needs. He is stressed out himself, he is tired of accomodating everyone else. With most of his sisters married, he has to be the balancing force between his sick dad, his tempremental elder sister and his quiet younger brother. To add to this, he has a dreamy girlfriend who believe in living her life to the max while she is young. His sister cannot appreciate his gf as well as him, he doesn't feel the need to address that. As the 'mother' of the household, she cannot understand how can a lady, whom come to her bf house to play computer games and playstation, who always asks his bf to go restaurants and genting be ready to settle down, when she herself doesn't earn much.
His girlfriend thinks that his sister has something against her always, he thinks that one day things will sort themselves out. That everytime, when his sister has a 'black' face, it is because of her.
I say this is a perfect recipe for disaster.
To him:
You've told me before that once u put her into the position, she'll be forced to grow up. So when is she being put into the position? when you guys get married? or is it good enough now that things are more or less settled? I'm not trying to be nosy here, i noe very well that this is non of my business. But i don't want to sit here and watch the disaster unfold itself if i can help it. If today it is some other family showing this, i'll watch it like a drama series. I cannot let this happen to you guys. So just try to hear me out here.
I know it is difficult to come home and face her, you've also told me before. When met with difficulties, the easiest way is to run away from it. There is no way you can run from it, unless you want the problems between ur sister and you to pile up. I guess being the younger one, we have to always take the first step to make the communication. If you think that "she has made herself clear, she is so stubborn she wont change", den i can safely tell u that you are only waiting for disaster to happen.
Her "anal-ness" stems from the fact that she loves u too much and has been taking such good care of you that she don't know if your gf can do the same. She has an image of you in her head, one who shld be taken good care off, that you like to laze around the house, etc. She cannot imagine u, after u come back from work at about 8 plus, to be doing the housework. It is pressurizing to be loved like that, but can u blame her?
The pressure is there because there isn't any communication, there isn't any understanding. Since you have chosen yr gf, and she has chosen you, shldn't you guys try to get your sister's understanding? After all, she is the one who has taken care of you for so long, whether you asked her to do so or not. Frankly, if i can help you tell her that how you guys can work out, i'll be glad to help. But there is only so much i can do. I know it is frustrating to handle both of them, now it is already so evident, what do you think will happen in the future? You also told me before, you make the decisions, you face the consequences. This is one consequence that you have to face. Either you work hard at salvaging the relationship between them, or you lose this sister of yours eventually.
Stayin out wont save you. Your hopes that things will take of themselves will never happen. If all of you cannot let down ur walls, the pretence that things are always fine and beautiful, that you guys are independant individuals - i guess there isn't much me as an outsider can do, not to mention i'm merely a niece...
I'm not blaming them for doing what they are suppose to do.. but why has they become so absorbed by their own lives, that when they think they're being considerate, they're actually causing much more misunderstanding? They are all very generous, friendly and nice people individually. Why do they have to impose their idea of being considerate on others, such that it becomes more of a burden to each other?
She tries to bring her dad to doctor's appointment all the time because she doesn't want the rest of them to take off from their work. Being a tuition teacher, she doesn't want to burden the rest, hence she changes her schedule as and when to suit the appointments. Also, she is like the mother in the household, she cooks and clean and does all the household chores. Although she doesn't ask for anything back from her siblings, her efforts are almost always seen as "she took it up herself, she will redo it if we help anyway". A person who like to do things her way, her siblings know better than to help which she continues to pack herself with more work. The only problem is that, there is only so much that a person can do, and with all that stress she packed herself with, how does one expect her to smile all the time? Not to mention that she is a serious person by nature.
He has got a 9 to 5 job, as the eldest son in the family, he tries his best to be aware of what is going on. He tried catering to everyone's needs. He is stressed out himself, he is tired of accomodating everyone else. With most of his sisters married, he has to be the balancing force between his sick dad, his tempremental elder sister and his quiet younger brother. To add to this, he has a dreamy girlfriend who believe in living her life to the max while she is young. His sister cannot appreciate his gf as well as him, he doesn't feel the need to address that. As the 'mother' of the household, she cannot understand how can a lady, whom come to her bf house to play computer games and playstation, who always asks his bf to go restaurants and genting be ready to settle down, when she herself doesn't earn much.
His girlfriend thinks that his sister has something against her always, he thinks that one day things will sort themselves out. That everytime, when his sister has a 'black' face, it is because of her.
I say this is a perfect recipe for disaster.
To him:
You've told me before that once u put her into the position, she'll be forced to grow up. So when is she being put into the position? when you guys get married? or is it good enough now that things are more or less settled? I'm not trying to be nosy here, i noe very well that this is non of my business. But i don't want to sit here and watch the disaster unfold itself if i can help it. If today it is some other family showing this, i'll watch it like a drama series. I cannot let this happen to you guys. So just try to hear me out here.
I know it is difficult to come home and face her, you've also told me before. When met with difficulties, the easiest way is to run away from it. There is no way you can run from it, unless you want the problems between ur sister and you to pile up. I guess being the younger one, we have to always take the first step to make the communication. If you think that "she has made herself clear, she is so stubborn she wont change", den i can safely tell u that you are only waiting for disaster to happen.
Her "anal-ness" stems from the fact that she loves u too much and has been taking such good care of you that she don't know if your gf can do the same. She has an image of you in her head, one who shld be taken good care off, that you like to laze around the house, etc. She cannot imagine u, after u come back from work at about 8 plus, to be doing the housework. It is pressurizing to be loved like that, but can u blame her?
The pressure is there because there isn't any communication, there isn't any understanding. Since you have chosen yr gf, and she has chosen you, shldn't you guys try to get your sister's understanding? After all, she is the one who has taken care of you for so long, whether you asked her to do so or not. Frankly, if i can help you tell her that how you guys can work out, i'll be glad to help. But there is only so much i can do. I know it is frustrating to handle both of them, now it is already so evident, what do you think will happen in the future? You also told me before, you make the decisions, you face the consequences. This is one consequence that you have to face. Either you work hard at salvaging the relationship between them, or you lose this sister of yours eventually.
Stayin out wont save you. Your hopes that things will take of themselves will never happen. If all of you cannot let down ur walls, the pretence that things are always fine and beautiful, that you guys are independant individuals - i guess there isn't much me as an outsider can do, not to mention i'm merely a niece...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Hahah suppose to do my property law assignment now.
Went joggin, played game and eat breakfast.. Finally settled down and i feel sleepy
hahaha
this is life man.. this is a pig's life :D
super slack..
Totally not nervous about my company law paper nex week
I AM SO DEAD!!!!
LOL
I need to type out my tutorials.
joggin helps
alot
HEEEEEee
i wanna learn dancing, anyone has lobang?
Went joggin, played game and eat breakfast.. Finally settled down and i feel sleepy
hahaha
this is life man.. this is a pig's life :D
super slack..
Totally not nervous about my company law paper nex week
I AM SO DEAD!!!!
LOL
I need to type out my tutorials.
joggin helps
alot
HEEEEEee
i wanna learn dancing, anyone has lobang?
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
-Putting things behind me, as i step into a new chapter in my life.
Let this holiday be a time where i start to realise the important things in my life.
Let me remember my priorities, and the principles that gives a framework to my choices in life.
Let me walk on the path that i ought to, instead of treading dangerously into the unknown.
Let my choices reflect that of a thinking individual, that of a conscious one and that of a sensible one.
Let me be able to then, bear the responsibilities of my choices.-
Let this holiday be a time where i start to realise the important things in my life.
Let me remember my priorities, and the principles that gives a framework to my choices in life.
Let me walk on the path that i ought to, instead of treading dangerously into the unknown.
Let my choices reflect that of a thinking individual, that of a conscious one and that of a sensible one.
Let me be able to then, bear the responsibilities of my choices.-
I had a messed up weekend. Trying to clean up my act right now. I nearly lost a friend back there.. I hope i had done all i can to try to put things right again. I doubt things will be the same again, I'm apologetic for the error in judgments, but the harm is done.
I wanted to justify my position, my actions. But i guess at the end of the day, we all have our own positions to take care of. At the end of the day, what is important is that I admit that i made a bad call, but at the point of time, given my position, knowledge and conditions of the situation, i would have made the same decisions then and there. At this juncture, i just want to make sure that i understand the impact and address it, instead of saying "I had to do what i did". which of cos cannot help. I'm glad i had a chance to be frank and talk things out. I think if it happened to me, i wont be as cool. It was enough to send me hating the person.
Well, i pretty much screw things up the way i din want it to be. What irony.. Every single thing that was not to be done, was.
It was simply a crazy week for me. I'm glad it is over. Still some loose ends for me to tie up but i think those are fine.
For those who have been reading my blog and were concerned for me, i'm fine. ;)
To those whom i've caused some trauma towards, i'm sincerely sorry. I dun think there's another better way of saying this.
Hopefully i've gotten something out of this. I mean as of every past experiences, i shld have learnt something but i always choose to disregard them.
Clearly i have some things to take care of now, they are obviously not in the category of 'looking for trouble for myself'. Stay off the liquor, it is starting to cloud my mind.
Think coffee will be my best fren for sometime now, can't seem to stay awake for more than two hours without it. Unhealthy yes, but staying awake seems to be more important.
"Brave it out these 8 years, you'll find ur life is more or less set by then." I've gotta do things that i ought to do...
"Whatever it is, just be honest with me." Very simple rule, very basic in a friendship, i haven been able to keep to it.
Decorating your words, beautifying things, making things look alright when they're not only shows how much you trust ur fren.
I can say,
i dunnoe if i can do them anymore.
I'm beginning to scare myself.
hahaha
I wanted to justify my position, my actions. But i guess at the end of the day, we all have our own positions to take care of. At the end of the day, what is important is that I admit that i made a bad call, but at the point of time, given my position, knowledge and conditions of the situation, i would have made the same decisions then and there. At this juncture, i just want to make sure that i understand the impact and address it, instead of saying "I had to do what i did". which of cos cannot help. I'm glad i had a chance to be frank and talk things out. I think if it happened to me, i wont be as cool. It was enough to send me hating the person.
Well, i pretty much screw things up the way i din want it to be. What irony.. Every single thing that was not to be done, was.
It was simply a crazy week for me. I'm glad it is over. Still some loose ends for me to tie up but i think those are fine.
For those who have been reading my blog and were concerned for me, i'm fine. ;)
To those whom i've caused some trauma towards, i'm sincerely sorry. I dun think there's another better way of saying this.
Hopefully i've gotten something out of this. I mean as of every past experiences, i shld have learnt something but i always choose to disregard them.
Clearly i have some things to take care of now, they are obviously not in the category of 'looking for trouble for myself'. Stay off the liquor, it is starting to cloud my mind.
Think coffee will be my best fren for sometime now, can't seem to stay awake for more than two hours without it. Unhealthy yes, but staying awake seems to be more important.
"Brave it out these 8 years, you'll find ur life is more or less set by then." I've gotta do things that i ought to do...
"Whatever it is, just be honest with me." Very simple rule, very basic in a friendship, i haven been able to keep to it.
Decorating your words, beautifying things, making things look alright when they're not only shows how much you trust ur fren.
I can say,
i dunnoe if i can do them anymore.
I'm beginning to scare myself.
hahaha
Monday, September 19, 2005
Just did my preparation for tutorial.. still refuse to do my prop law take home assignment, maybe later :)
Sometimes i find myself working so hard at things that are not worth the time, and really slacking with things that need my attention. hahaha opportunity cost. Some times some friends are worth investing the time one, some are not. I don't know if i'm making the distinction right. I don't wanna end up just by myself again...
Well, on a second thought, it isn't so bad being alone i guess.
:D
I'm hungry.. I need food. I think i need to exercise too.
hahahaha
HGIS
Sometimes i find myself working so hard at things that are not worth the time, and really slacking with things that need my attention. hahaha opportunity cost. Some times some friends are worth investing the time one, some are not. I don't know if i'm making the distinction right. I don't wanna end up just by myself again...
Well, on a second thought, it isn't so bad being alone i guess.
:D
I'm hungry.. I need food. I think i need to exercise too.
hahahaha
HGIS
I'm enjoying posting on my blog :D
I did something that i tot i never will. LoL Weird.
It is pass midnight, mid autumn is over.
I am supposed to prepare for my trial and advo tutorial tml. Have yet to write a single word, neither have i wrote anything for my property law tutorial.
I think i'm bringing paul down with me, i shldn't.
I have yet to revise my sponsorship plans for the law firms tml.
Procrastinating.
I enjoy doing my yj alumni stuff...
Been sleeping later for the past few days, i hope i'll be able to wake up for the canvassing tml.
Random thoughts.
Had fun playing with the candles just now. Which makes me wonder if i am the one who is 12 or my younger sister. Because i was fighting with her over the candles.
I think it's tough to sit down and work, getting tougher and tougher to concentrate. Always worrying about things that aren't within my control. Don't do things that are within my control. Always go out of control, refuse to listen. Hahaah I think i properly define screwed up.
I need to cut my nails, i need to print out the proposals, i need to write my evidence in chief, i need to ... do my property law paper. i need to sit down and reorganise myself. Stop goin out till so late.
I nid to get two referrals for my volunteer program.
i need an organised life in order to be a mentor for the kids.
Yes, i nid to reorganise my life.
I wonder if i can do that tml morning, because i just want to sleep tonight.
Tonight is just like any other nights :D, i sleep, wake up tml, another day will pass me by. The slowly the week will be gone and then months.
Den i question my existence in the world, i question why am i still living and breathing, when i'm actually not doing anything that adds value. Either to the society or to my own life.
Happiness, it is not defined by my mom, neither by you, neither by any supreme being. It is defined by me, what i want out of life. Happiness = satisfaction? I don't know, i think satisfaction is a kind of happiness, it brings happiness, but not entirely. Happiness covers much more..
How do i define my life?
Have been trying to ans this question since the day C left.
I wonder have i grown up ever since he left? I think i have been regressing. Less sensible, less independent.
Hahaha
I think i shld stop doin things to hurt myself. When mr mind says don't do it, mr hand shall listen, instead of listening to the devil called mr heart. :)
Oh yeah,
liverpool v. man utd - draw 0-0
But it was a good match. Hahahah i enjoyed it, fast paced with lots of tackling! That's the way they shld play it every time!! K i don't watch soccer very much thou. hahah
i want to go to bed.
!!THGIN DOOG
!EM OT SMAERD TEEWS
...HGIS
To you:
I know it is not easy being you. I always thought you can work ur way through it as difficult as it gets. Drinking urself silly, building up a wall around you, doing the things u do, you are jus digging into it deeper and deeper. You given up on urself because u are afraid of being disappointed again and again. But when you give up on urself, you are disappointing ur frens ard you. Yeap, i'm in no position to say this, because i'm not in ur shoes, i don't know the kind of pain you go through. But i'm very sure you have enough frens, including me, who will walk you through this. If you don't wanna stand up and walk through it, then maybe i've place my bet wrongly. Take good care. I doubt i'll ever talk to you in this manner, that is provided i see you again.
I did something that i tot i never will. LoL Weird.
It is pass midnight, mid autumn is over.
I am supposed to prepare for my trial and advo tutorial tml. Have yet to write a single word, neither have i wrote anything for my property law tutorial.
I think i'm bringing paul down with me, i shldn't.
I have yet to revise my sponsorship plans for the law firms tml.
Procrastinating.
I enjoy doing my yj alumni stuff...
Been sleeping later for the past few days, i hope i'll be able to wake up for the canvassing tml.
Random thoughts.
Had fun playing with the candles just now. Which makes me wonder if i am the one who is 12 or my younger sister. Because i was fighting with her over the candles.
I think it's tough to sit down and work, getting tougher and tougher to concentrate. Always worrying about things that aren't within my control. Don't do things that are within my control. Always go out of control, refuse to listen. Hahaah I think i properly define screwed up.
I need to cut my nails, i need to print out the proposals, i need to write my evidence in chief, i need to ... do my property law paper. i need to sit down and reorganise myself. Stop goin out till so late.
I nid to get two referrals for my volunteer program.
i need an organised life in order to be a mentor for the kids.
Yes, i nid to reorganise my life.
I wonder if i can do that tml morning, because i just want to sleep tonight.
Tonight is just like any other nights :D, i sleep, wake up tml, another day will pass me by. The slowly the week will be gone and then months.
Den i question my existence in the world, i question why am i still living and breathing, when i'm actually not doing anything that adds value. Either to the society or to my own life.
Happiness, it is not defined by my mom, neither by you, neither by any supreme being. It is defined by me, what i want out of life. Happiness = satisfaction? I don't know, i think satisfaction is a kind of happiness, it brings happiness, but not entirely. Happiness covers much more..
How do i define my life?
Have been trying to ans this question since the day C left.
I wonder have i grown up ever since he left? I think i have been regressing. Less sensible, less independent.
Hahaha
I think i shld stop doin things to hurt myself. When mr mind says don't do it, mr hand shall listen, instead of listening to the devil called mr heart. :)
Oh yeah,
liverpool v. man utd - draw 0-0
But it was a good match. Hahahah i enjoyed it, fast paced with lots of tackling! That's the way they shld play it every time!! K i don't watch soccer very much thou. hahah
i want to go to bed.
!!THGIN DOOG
!EM OT SMAERD TEEWS
...HGIS
To you:
I know it is not easy being you. I always thought you can work ur way through it as difficult as it gets. Drinking urself silly, building up a wall around you, doing the things u do, you are jus digging into it deeper and deeper. You given up on urself because u are afraid of being disappointed again and again. But when you give up on urself, you are disappointing ur frens ard you. Yeap, i'm in no position to say this, because i'm not in ur shoes, i don't know the kind of pain you go through. But i'm very sure you have enough frens, including me, who will walk you through this. If you don't wanna stand up and walk through it, then maybe i've place my bet wrongly. Take good care. I doubt i'll ever talk to you in this manner, that is provided i see you again.
"I think if you say you don't have anything for me, then it is easier for me" "Ok!.i'll say i don't have anything for you'.. any easier?"
I guess that marked the end of the episode. After a while, it just boils down to do you feel anything for me or not. That's just me, the way i work i guess. If you have any feelings for me, I don't wanna leave without a battle, even if i'll get hurt at the end of the day. Rather stupid, but still doing it. But if you have no feelings for me, tell it to me outright. No point trying to phrase it in such a way that "it is not ur fault, neither is it mine. We're just at the wrong place at the wrong time." I don't wanna to guess on my side, telling myself, it is okie, once this phrase is over for him, perhaps we'll have a chance, or that i'm willing to work it out with him.
Then i start to wonder, what kind of choice did he give me in the first place? At first i tot we lay our cards on the table, he tells me about his difficulties, i'll choose whether or not i will go through it with him. But now it seems like he told me about his difficulties, expecting i'll be sensible and leave him alone. I don't know what kind of choice is this.
Yeap, made a fool of myself, but at least i got it nice and clear. I don't see the point of salvaging my 'face', and live my life guessing everyone's thoughts. I think that's too much pain. You tell me you have difficulties, i ask u if you have any feelings for me. You guys told me that at the end of the day, there is no easier way of rejecting a person. Den why do that to me?
If i want to continue kidding myself, i can always tell myself that 'well, he din want to drag me down with him, therefore knowing what kind of choice i'll make by saying he doesn't have anything for me, he said it'
Then i must be really dumb.
Actually, i wanted to settle this face to face, instead of through the fone and sms. But he has been avoiding me since friday. I think if i had a good talk about it, it'll be settled nicely and our frenship wont be jeopadised. He said we'll meet today to talk. I doubt that'll happen aft our smses yesterday. and i don't like to leave things this way. But i guess it is not up to me, if he wants to run away like that, what can i say?
I'm pretty apologetic for causing him so much trauma at the point of time when he least needs it.
But i'm not impressed by the way he handled it.
I guess that marked the end of the episode. After a while, it just boils down to do you feel anything for me or not. That's just me, the way i work i guess. If you have any feelings for me, I don't wanna leave without a battle, even if i'll get hurt at the end of the day. Rather stupid, but still doing it. But if you have no feelings for me, tell it to me outright. No point trying to phrase it in such a way that "it is not ur fault, neither is it mine. We're just at the wrong place at the wrong time." I don't wanna to guess on my side, telling myself, it is okie, once this phrase is over for him, perhaps we'll have a chance, or that i'm willing to work it out with him.
Then i start to wonder, what kind of choice did he give me in the first place? At first i tot we lay our cards on the table, he tells me about his difficulties, i'll choose whether or not i will go through it with him. But now it seems like he told me about his difficulties, expecting i'll be sensible and leave him alone. I don't know what kind of choice is this.
Yeap, made a fool of myself, but at least i got it nice and clear. I don't see the point of salvaging my 'face', and live my life guessing everyone's thoughts. I think that's too much pain. You tell me you have difficulties, i ask u if you have any feelings for me. You guys told me that at the end of the day, there is no easier way of rejecting a person. Den why do that to me?
If i want to continue kidding myself, i can always tell myself that 'well, he din want to drag me down with him, therefore knowing what kind of choice i'll make by saying he doesn't have anything for me, he said it'
Then i must be really dumb.
Actually, i wanted to settle this face to face, instead of through the fone and sms. But he has been avoiding me since friday. I think if i had a good talk about it, it'll be settled nicely and our frenship wont be jeopadised. He said we'll meet today to talk. I doubt that'll happen aft our smses yesterday. and i don't like to leave things this way. But i guess it is not up to me, if he wants to run away like that, what can i say?
I'm pretty apologetic for causing him so much trauma at the point of time when he least needs it.
But i'm not impressed by the way he handled it.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Well, as if he saw my entry, called me just now 2 in the morning.
Beat around the bush, talk about some crap, then into The topic.
"Tell me dear, when did you start having a crush on me?"
A lot of the things he said, i am fairly aware. The biggest problem about this is that, knowing all the problems that a possible relationship with him will face very well, I happened to just started feeling something for him.
"if i've met you on a different timeline..." "But if you had seen me in a different timeline, u'd probably not feel the way u do now."
I know he doesn't want someone to go down with him, that this is a relationship probably heading towards disaster. And i'm pretty sure i don't want the kind of relationship he is looking for right now. I'm taking his word for it. there's no point i tell myself that, he is merely saying it to deter me, if i really want it he'll be nice to me. To me he is pretty frank, too frank in fact.
So by telling me how bad it is to go into a relationship with him, he then added that "At the end of the day, you are the one making that choice. But i hope u make a good choice and be happy"
I fail to see how whatever he said left me with a choice. To me, all he was saying was "hey dear, i'm indirectly rejecting you." I don't know, perhaps i'm too cynical...
When they tell me, they want me to be happy, does it mean the rational happy? Like what everyone deems normal = happy? Like i shld find someone promising to fall in love with, who loves me and get married at the end of the road and have a herd of kids? I don't know if i define that as happy. It sounds almost scary to me now HAHAHA. ;P Well, i'd say that if i wanted someone promising, i wouldn't have left my ex.. As for a fulfilling relationship, that's pretty much what he is trying to give me now... So is that an obvious choice?
What i'm trying to say is that, most of the time, my feelings lead me down the wrong road. Not to say that he is very wrong but wrong road as in probably end up disastrous.. Mind says one thing, heart says the other. If i had been rational enough, many things wont have happened. And probably wouldn't have gotten to know them. I can choose to learn from my experiences and walk away from this. I can continue to follow my small little heart and see where it leads me to. I know i'll never go out with someone whom i don't have feelings for, so does that mean i've have to wait till my heart and mind agrees? My gift is that i can see flaw in everyone that my heart fancies, so does that mean that in order to be happy, i'll stay single from now?
Perhaps i'm trying to rationalise my choice, not to say they are very strong arguments, i just think how i feel is very important. Think that's (major) part of being a girl.
The fact that he didn't bring up his fren shows that he doesn't want to make use of someone else as a shield. That's one thing that i failed to do. I like to find excuse so that i can run away from the problem, so that i don't have to face it directly. I think it is time i fight my own battles. It is little things like that that i enjoy hanging around them so much. At the end of the day, they don't judge.
I've met someone with very accomplished lives, great aim in life, full of drive. He is smart, undeniably, he is capable. But he gave up a lot just to stay there, sometimes his integrity. I used to think it was alright, in order to climb up, there are somethings you have to sacrifice, not to say i'll do it thou. But at the end of the day, will i be able to face myself if i do that? He is one person without many frens. The way he handled our relationship is very telling of his personality. He is very afraid of direct conflict, more than anything. He always try to find a way to manage it such that he has a way of 'come-back'. Pretty selfish way of doing things, but i don't blame him. I guess with his background, he has to look after himself more than anything.
They've taught me a lot about life. Before this, i'm simply an idiot when it comes to handling people. Never actually progressed after secondary school. They taught me how to handle rejection. Even when they're mean sometimes when we simply sit there and do 'people-seeing', i know they're actually very sweet guys. So nice that most of the time, they are the ones getting hurt. Behind those crude jokes, i see two sincere, tired, strong souls. If someone else had to go thru what they did, that person might have given up on himself long ago..
"what ever you do, be happy"
Hahahah if i want to be happy now, i'd quit law sch. :D but i think i've gotta look at happy in a broader sense. I always think that if i enjoy myself now and neglect my studies, i'd probably not be able to enjoy as they are when i'm their age. I was told i think too much. Happy, I don't know what will make me happy. But i know what will make me unhappy... many many.
If there's one reason why i shld not go into a relationship with him, it is the thought of hurting him at the end of it. Losing my frens, losing a good fren in him, feeling hurt about it - i guess it doesn't measure up to this.. I don't think i want to put him thru another round of heartbreak. That's probably my main concern.
I don't know if i make sense. I just feel like writing something.. pen them down to take them off my mind. (rather, type them down)
"I want to see you grow up, strong. But i also know that if you're strong girl, u'd probably not see me this way"
Guys, u simply think too lowly of urself and me.
Beat around the bush, talk about some crap, then into The topic.
"Tell me dear, when did you start having a crush on me?"
A lot of the things he said, i am fairly aware. The biggest problem about this is that, knowing all the problems that a possible relationship with him will face very well, I happened to just started feeling something for him.
"if i've met you on a different timeline..." "But if you had seen me in a different timeline, u'd probably not feel the way u do now."
I know he doesn't want someone to go down with him, that this is a relationship probably heading towards disaster. And i'm pretty sure i don't want the kind of relationship he is looking for right now. I'm taking his word for it. there's no point i tell myself that, he is merely saying it to deter me, if i really want it he'll be nice to me. To me he is pretty frank, too frank in fact.
So by telling me how bad it is to go into a relationship with him, he then added that "At the end of the day, you are the one making that choice. But i hope u make a good choice and be happy"
I fail to see how whatever he said left me with a choice. To me, all he was saying was "hey dear, i'm indirectly rejecting you." I don't know, perhaps i'm too cynical...
When they tell me, they want me to be happy, does it mean the rational happy? Like what everyone deems normal = happy? Like i shld find someone promising to fall in love with, who loves me and get married at the end of the road and have a herd of kids? I don't know if i define that as happy. It sounds almost scary to me now HAHAHA. ;P Well, i'd say that if i wanted someone promising, i wouldn't have left my ex.. As for a fulfilling relationship, that's pretty much what he is trying to give me now... So is that an obvious choice?
What i'm trying to say is that, most of the time, my feelings lead me down the wrong road. Not to say that he is very wrong but wrong road as in probably end up disastrous.. Mind says one thing, heart says the other. If i had been rational enough, many things wont have happened. And probably wouldn't have gotten to know them. I can choose to learn from my experiences and walk away from this. I can continue to follow my small little heart and see where it leads me to. I know i'll never go out with someone whom i don't have feelings for, so does that mean i've have to wait till my heart and mind agrees? My gift is that i can see flaw in everyone that my heart fancies, so does that mean that in order to be happy, i'll stay single from now?
Perhaps i'm trying to rationalise my choice, not to say they are very strong arguments, i just think how i feel is very important. Think that's (major) part of being a girl.
The fact that he didn't bring up his fren shows that he doesn't want to make use of someone else as a shield. That's one thing that i failed to do. I like to find excuse so that i can run away from the problem, so that i don't have to face it directly. I think it is time i fight my own battles. It is little things like that that i enjoy hanging around them so much. At the end of the day, they don't judge.
I've met someone with very accomplished lives, great aim in life, full of drive. He is smart, undeniably, he is capable. But he gave up a lot just to stay there, sometimes his integrity. I used to think it was alright, in order to climb up, there are somethings you have to sacrifice, not to say i'll do it thou. But at the end of the day, will i be able to face myself if i do that? He is one person without many frens. The way he handled our relationship is very telling of his personality. He is very afraid of direct conflict, more than anything. He always try to find a way to manage it such that he has a way of 'come-back'. Pretty selfish way of doing things, but i don't blame him. I guess with his background, he has to look after himself more than anything.
They've taught me a lot about life. Before this, i'm simply an idiot when it comes to handling people. Never actually progressed after secondary school. They taught me how to handle rejection. Even when they're mean sometimes when we simply sit there and do 'people-seeing', i know they're actually very sweet guys. So nice that most of the time, they are the ones getting hurt. Behind those crude jokes, i see two sincere, tired, strong souls. If someone else had to go thru what they did, that person might have given up on himself long ago..
"what ever you do, be happy"
Hahahah if i want to be happy now, i'd quit law sch. :D but i think i've gotta look at happy in a broader sense. I always think that if i enjoy myself now and neglect my studies, i'd probably not be able to enjoy as they are when i'm their age. I was told i think too much. Happy, I don't know what will make me happy. But i know what will make me unhappy... many many.
If there's one reason why i shld not go into a relationship with him, it is the thought of hurting him at the end of it. Losing my frens, losing a good fren in him, feeling hurt about it - i guess it doesn't measure up to this.. I don't think i want to put him thru another round of heartbreak. That's probably my main concern.
I don't know if i make sense. I just feel like writing something.. pen them down to take them off my mind. (rather, type them down)
"I want to see you grow up, strong. But i also know that if you're strong girl, u'd probably not see me this way"
Guys, u simply think too lowly of urself and me.
Blind - Lifehouse
I was young but I wasn't naive - I watched helpless as you turned around to leave - and still I have the pain I have to carry - a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried - after all this time - I never thought we'd be here - never thought we'd be here - when my love for you was blind - but I couldn't make you see it - couldn't make you see it - that I loved you more than you'll ever know - and part of me died when I let you go - I would fall asleep - only in hopes of dreaming - that everything would be like it was before - but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting - they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor - after all this time - I never thought we'd be here - never thought we'd be here - when my love for you was blind - but I couldn't make you see it - couldn't make you see it - that I loved you more than you'll ever know - and part of me died when I let you go - after all this why - would you ever wanna leave it - maybe you could not believe it - that my love for you was blind - but I couldn't make you see it - couldn't make you see it - that I loved you more than you will ever know - and part of me died when I let you go - and I loved you more than you'll ever know - and part of me died when I let you go
I was young but I wasn't naive - I watched helpless as you turned around to leave - and still I have the pain I have to carry - a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried - after all this time - I never thought we'd be here - never thought we'd be here - when my love for you was blind - but I couldn't make you see it - couldn't make you see it - that I loved you more than you'll ever know - and part of me died when I let you go - I would fall asleep - only in hopes of dreaming - that everything would be like it was before - but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting - they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor - after all this time - I never thought we'd be here - never thought we'd be here - when my love for you was blind - but I couldn't make you see it - couldn't make you see it - that I loved you more than you'll ever know - and part of me died when I let you go - after all this why - would you ever wanna leave it - maybe you could not believe it - that my love for you was blind - but I couldn't make you see it - couldn't make you see it - that I loved you more than you will ever know - and part of me died when I let you go - and I loved you more than you'll ever know - and part of me died when I let you go
Your Birthdate: May 29
Your birthday on the 29th adds a tone of idealism to your nature. You are imaginative and creative, but rather uncomfortable in the business world. You are very aware and sensitive, with outstanding intuitive skills and analytical abilities. The 29 reduces to 11, one of the master numbers which often produces much nervous tension. This is the birthday of the dreamer rather than the doer. You do, however, work very well with people.
Your birthday on the 29th adds a tone of idealism to your nature. You are imaginative and creative, but rather uncomfortable in the business world. You are very aware and sensitive, with outstanding intuitive skills and analytical abilities. The 29 reduces to 11, one of the master numbers which often produces much nervous tension. This is the birthday of the dreamer rather than the doer. You do, however, work very well with people.
i just cut my hair, did a treatment that is supposed to hydrate my hair. I guess it is pretty much the same.
Yes, cost me a bomb, moreover i bout this bottle of treatment thing.
I dun have time, yet i'm not using it wisely. I dont have money, yet i'm spending like crasy. I have alot of things to read, yet i'm not doing anything remotely like reading.
I'm even playing truant..
I find myself slacking further and further.. I dunno if i can catch up. And i don't seem to be putting in the effort to try. All the expectations i just cant be bother. Just living in my own world.
Haiz, why do i always find myself falling for someone who i can turn to in bad times. Then, i'll find that when the next bad time comes, i cannot turn to that person because he is my problem.
WTF..
Damn pissed off with myself right now.
Just feel like slapping him, budden hahah it is really no fault of his.
Well, like he told me before, if that guy isn't goin to provide u with anything u can work on, den u'll have to move on by urself.
He sounded like he'll know what to do if he was caught in the same situation, but apparently not.
I told him i had a crush on him, i tot he shld at the very least tell me he is not interested? i'm not even asking for a reason. He simply appologised for not noticing it. it may sound pretty dumb to most of you out there - the fact that he did not do anythign more is pretty evident that he is not interested. But i guess this is the way i work, just tell me you're not interested and yes, i'll be able to move on man. i tot he'll know how to handle it pretty well.. Well, i guess i was wrong.
Sigh, so much for liking matured man.
YEap, so effectively i've lost my two good frens i guess. in the sens i think i nid to take some time off them. I can't go out with one without the other.. Sigh. sometimes i think they wont feel the lost, i mean i've gone out with them too much lately, nothing much to tell him. Their conversation is .. too explicit to be written here. hahaha and most of the time i just sit there and enjoy myself. Going out with them is super fun, no pressure, dun haf to pretend. hahaha
But i guess sometimes if u make urself too available, people simply take u for granted. No point making too much effort, it is the same in relationship, the same in frenship. In the end, the more effort u put in, the more expectations, the more disappointment you'll feel.
Well, i don't know.
I know i don't like to be ignored
hahaha i really hate it. Call me spoilt, call me attention seeking.
I've got major issues with my msges being ignored.
From now gotta be more 'man'. Take the man approach cant go wrong. LOL. I mean the only way to ensure u don't feel too disappointed.
Yes with that said.
To hell with those to snub me!!!
You know who u are!
hahahaha
Evil laughter...
Regards
WR
Yes, cost me a bomb, moreover i bout this bottle of treatment thing.
I dun have time, yet i'm not using it wisely. I dont have money, yet i'm spending like crasy. I have alot of things to read, yet i'm not doing anything remotely like reading.
I'm even playing truant..
I find myself slacking further and further.. I dunno if i can catch up. And i don't seem to be putting in the effort to try. All the expectations i just cant be bother. Just living in my own world.
Haiz, why do i always find myself falling for someone who i can turn to in bad times. Then, i'll find that when the next bad time comes, i cannot turn to that person because he is my problem.
WTF..
Damn pissed off with myself right now.
Just feel like slapping him, budden hahah it is really no fault of his.
Well, like he told me before, if that guy isn't goin to provide u with anything u can work on, den u'll have to move on by urself.
He sounded like he'll know what to do if he was caught in the same situation, but apparently not.
I told him i had a crush on him, i tot he shld at the very least tell me he is not interested? i'm not even asking for a reason. He simply appologised for not noticing it. it may sound pretty dumb to most of you out there - the fact that he did not do anythign more is pretty evident that he is not interested. But i guess this is the way i work, just tell me you're not interested and yes, i'll be able to move on man. i tot he'll know how to handle it pretty well.. Well, i guess i was wrong.
Sigh, so much for liking matured man.
YEap, so effectively i've lost my two good frens i guess. in the sens i think i nid to take some time off them. I can't go out with one without the other.. Sigh. sometimes i think they wont feel the lost, i mean i've gone out with them too much lately, nothing much to tell him. Their conversation is .. too explicit to be written here. hahaha and most of the time i just sit there and enjoy myself. Going out with them is super fun, no pressure, dun haf to pretend. hahaha
But i guess sometimes if u make urself too available, people simply take u for granted. No point making too much effort, it is the same in relationship, the same in frenship. In the end, the more effort u put in, the more expectations, the more disappointment you'll feel.
Well, i don't know.
I know i don't like to be ignored
hahaha i really hate it. Call me spoilt, call me attention seeking.
I've got major issues with my msges being ignored.
From now gotta be more 'man'. Take the man approach cant go wrong. LOL. I mean the only way to ensure u don't feel too disappointed.
Yes with that said.
To hell with those to snub me!!!
You know who u are!
hahahaha
Evil laughter...
Regards
WR
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I need some discipline.
1)Reasons why i'm msging him:
I'm just lonely, bored, in need of attention.
2)Reasons why i shldn't msg him:
It is one way, impossible, stupid, irritating, and any other words that has similar meaning.
1)Reasons why i shld avoid him:
i dunwan him to be so nice to me, i nid him to get over me so that he can conc on his work.
2)Reasons why i'm not avoiding him:
I dunwan things to turn ugly, i dunno how to say no, i'm jus soft.
My life is messed up:
1) Sponsorship not coming in.
2) din see jia hui last week end
3) haven read for lecture
4) haven fin my tutorial
5) I'm missing someone that i shldn't be missing
6) I cant stop myself from doing things i shldn't be doing.
Maybe i shld be alone for a while. Alone, by myself.
I nid to do something about my life.
-W.e.R. k.-
1)Reasons why i'm msging him:
I'm just lonely, bored, in need of attention.
2)Reasons why i shldn't msg him:
It is one way, impossible, stupid, irritating, and any other words that has similar meaning.
1)Reasons why i shld avoid him:
i dunwan him to be so nice to me, i nid him to get over me so that he can conc on his work.
2)Reasons why i'm not avoiding him:
I dunwan things to turn ugly, i dunno how to say no, i'm jus soft.
My life is messed up:
1) Sponsorship not coming in.
2) din see jia hui last week end
3) haven read for lecture
4) haven fin my tutorial
5) I'm missing someone that i shldn't be missing
6) I cant stop myself from doing things i shldn't be doing.
Maybe i shld be alone for a while. Alone, by myself.
I nid to do something about my life.
-W.e.R. k.-
Monday, September 12, 2005
Pretty whinny now.
Spent my whole saturday outside.. din do much.. but i know there's so many things to complete.
my property 10day assignment starts next week, i dont have my notes ready.
Spoke to my ex yesterday, saw a fren who was sort of interested in me and listen to my crush oogle at his target. Tell me why am i feeling so drained now?
By the above, i've effectively cut myself off from my good frens and my bf. Then i remembered my nice little blog that i haven been updating. And perhaps today my blog can be my good fren and listen to me whine, as it always has been.
I really wanna laze today away... but i cant.
rah rah rah...
Mayb i shld write it down here....
Spent my whole saturday outside.. din do much.. but i know there's so many things to complete.
my property 10day assignment starts next week, i dont have my notes ready.
Spoke to my ex yesterday, saw a fren who was sort of interested in me and listen to my crush oogle at his target. Tell me why am i feeling so drained now?
By the above, i've effectively cut myself off from my good frens and my bf. Then i remembered my nice little blog that i haven been updating. And perhaps today my blog can be my good fren and listen to me whine, as it always has been.
I really wanna laze today away... but i cant.
rah rah rah...
Mayb i shld write it down here....
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Like my fathers come to pass,
Seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.
Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Ring out the bells again.
Like we did when spring began.
Wake me up when September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.
Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Like my fathers come to pass.
Twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.[x3]
Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Like my fathers come to pass,
Seven years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.
Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Ring out the bells again.
Like we did when spring began.
Wake me up when September ends.
Here comes the rain again,
Falling from the stars.
Drenched in my pain again,
Becoming who we are.
As my memory rest,
But never forgets what I lost.
Wake me up when September ends.
Summer has come and past.
The innocent can never last.
Wake me up when September ends.
Like my fathers come to pass.
Twenty years has gone so fast.
Wake me up when September ends.[x3]
Friday, September 09, 2005
In the library now, i've jus read an email by my ex.
Mixed feelings.
Thinking back about what happened between us, we had our good times we had our bad ones as well...
I can't help but think that whatever he is complaining about now is what he had done to me once not very long ago. As always, my stories, i tried too hard, i got sick of trying, i want to move on.
I nid to grow up and learn to be independant, hence i've gotta be alone. When i don't wanna dismiss the possibility of us again, i don't wanna give false hope to him now.
I step back, i see things that i never would have if all i thought about was being with him. I see so many things that we have to overcome and i don't see his support. I see a relationship that needs so much work, i don't see his effort.
Relationship is hard work, it is a commitment. And commitment is when u make that decision over and over again.
You and i don't need and cannot afford that right now. What i was ready to give up, i'm not sure about it right now. I'm not sure it is worth it right now.
When you say u're willing to give up ur As to be with me, i think about the time i ran after you outside the com lab, begging you to talk to me. You told me you were stressed out and relationship should be the last thing on ur mind. When the stress kicks in, our relationship cannot handle it. The commitment is lost.. I think about the time when we have criminal law paper, ur losing of temper at my house. I'm sorry i haven mention these to you before, i din think it would have made a difference.
I have to keep a distant from you, in order for you to step back, and re-evaluate our relationship. See the problems that i see, when you have an ans to them, perhaps we could get back together. It is outside of religion and outside of backgrounds. it is about character, it is about ideas, it is about expectations, it is about how we handle ourselves and situation.
Simple communication hasn't worked for us. That's why i've decided to break up. I hope we can meet people, see and experience things that will broaden our perspectives. To be able to accept each and other.
I will despise myself, if i cont to let u hold my hands now. Because i'll be toying with you. Because i respect you, i cannot bring myself to.
If you have to hate me for it now, i can only say, i've been through that, it will be harder if i gave it.
Wenrong
Mixed feelings.
Thinking back about what happened between us, we had our good times we had our bad ones as well...
I can't help but think that whatever he is complaining about now is what he had done to me once not very long ago. As always, my stories, i tried too hard, i got sick of trying, i want to move on.
I nid to grow up and learn to be independant, hence i've gotta be alone. When i don't wanna dismiss the possibility of us again, i don't wanna give false hope to him now.
I step back, i see things that i never would have if all i thought about was being with him. I see so many things that we have to overcome and i don't see his support. I see a relationship that needs so much work, i don't see his effort.
Relationship is hard work, it is a commitment. And commitment is when u make that decision over and over again.
You and i don't need and cannot afford that right now. What i was ready to give up, i'm not sure about it right now. I'm not sure it is worth it right now.
When you say u're willing to give up ur As to be with me, i think about the time i ran after you outside the com lab, begging you to talk to me. You told me you were stressed out and relationship should be the last thing on ur mind. When the stress kicks in, our relationship cannot handle it. The commitment is lost.. I think about the time when we have criminal law paper, ur losing of temper at my house. I'm sorry i haven mention these to you before, i din think it would have made a difference.
I have to keep a distant from you, in order for you to step back, and re-evaluate our relationship. See the problems that i see, when you have an ans to them, perhaps we could get back together. It is outside of religion and outside of backgrounds. it is about character, it is about ideas, it is about expectations, it is about how we handle ourselves and situation.
Simple communication hasn't worked for us. That's why i've decided to break up. I hope we can meet people, see and experience things that will broaden our perspectives. To be able to accept each and other.
I will despise myself, if i cont to let u hold my hands now. Because i'll be toying with you. Because i respect you, i cannot bring myself to.
If you have to hate me for it now, i can only say, i've been through that, it will be harder if i gave it.
Wenrong
Monday, September 05, 2005
Been a while since my last entry.
Was working hard, keeping up with the readings... den came down with a headache, or a few days of headache.. Then the cough..
I have been coughing for almost a week now, only getting worse. haha mayb i have TB or something. Headache has been haunting me as well..
hee,
but i'm fine. I mean i wont die just yet. it is better than having fever and feeling lethargic on the bed, or the ache that you exp when u have a cold.. i'm just glad it is not that bad :D
wat's more, mummy has been mixing "fa guo lang jiu" Dom with warm water for me.. Got "jiu" before bed. hahaha like some alcoholic..
Well as for my studies, trying to catch up. Things are getting more and more technical and difficult to remember.
I've been trying to decide btwn hand writing my notes or type them out.. Think i'll go with handwritten.
Hope i don't spend too much time re-writing my notes and tutorials..
LFC sponsorship is still not settled yet. I dont have 3.8 k to fork out. I just hope UOB is nice enough to fork out more than that :D
It is 3 weeks away.. please bless me
Doing all sorts of things at the wrong time.
i nid some discipline.
-tell me frankly how u feel-
WR
Was working hard, keeping up with the readings... den came down with a headache, or a few days of headache.. Then the cough..
I have been coughing for almost a week now, only getting worse. haha mayb i have TB or something. Headache has been haunting me as well..
hee,
but i'm fine. I mean i wont die just yet. it is better than having fever and feeling lethargic on the bed, or the ache that you exp when u have a cold.. i'm just glad it is not that bad :D
wat's more, mummy has been mixing "fa guo lang jiu" Dom with warm water for me.. Got "jiu" before bed. hahaha like some alcoholic..
Well as for my studies, trying to catch up. Things are getting more and more technical and difficult to remember.
I've been trying to decide btwn hand writing my notes or type them out.. Think i'll go with handwritten.
Hope i don't spend too much time re-writing my notes and tutorials..
LFC sponsorship is still not settled yet. I dont have 3.8 k to fork out. I just hope UOB is nice enough to fork out more than that :D
It is 3 weeks away.. please bless me
Doing all sorts of things at the wrong time.
i nid some discipline.
-tell me frankly how u feel-
WR
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Sunday, July 24, 2005
To waste a man's existence in worrying about the future, in grieving over the past, in idleness or in heedlessness, is to show his lack of fitness for the noble place that he holds as the best of earthly creatures. He will thus create bad karma which will religate him to a place befitting his unworthiness. Bear this in mind and do good while life lasts. By wasting ur time, your harm not only urself but also others, for ur time is as much others' as it is yours.
The secret of happy, successful living is to do what needs to be done now, and not worry about the past or the future. We cannot reshape the past, nor can we anticipate everything in the future. There is but one moment of time over which we have some conscious control and that is the present.
Many people jus worry about the future. They have to learn to adjust themselves to the circumstances. Whatever castles they may build in the air, whatever dreams they may have, they must always remember that they are living in this world of constant friction and change.
"There are no stars which we could trust,
There is no guiding light,
And we know that we must
BE GOOD, BE JUST, BE RIGHT."
The secret of happy, successful living is to do what needs to be done now, and not worry about the past or the future. We cannot reshape the past, nor can we anticipate everything in the future. There is but one moment of time over which we have some conscious control and that is the present.
Many people jus worry about the future. They have to learn to adjust themselves to the circumstances. Whatever castles they may build in the air, whatever dreams they may have, they must always remember that they are living in this world of constant friction and change.
"There are no stars which we could trust,
There is no guiding light,
And we know that we must
BE GOOD, BE JUST, BE RIGHT."
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
SICK CYCLE CAROUSEL - lifehouse
if shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes
would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this
well here we go now one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my wayI tried to change this mind
you better believe that I have tried to beat this
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good
well I never thought I'd end up here never
thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
you better believe that I have tried to beat this
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from thissick cycle carousel
this is a sick cycle yeahsick cycle carousel
this is a sick cycle yeah
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good
sick cycle carousel
sick cycle carousel
sick cycle carousel
sick cycle carousel
if shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes
would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this
well here we go now one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my wayI tried to change this mind
you better believe that I have tried to beat this
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good
well I never thought I'd end up here never
thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time
I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
you better believe that I have tried to beat this
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from thissick cycle carousel
this is a sick cycle yeahsick cycle carousel
this is a sick cycle yeah
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good
so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good
sick cycle carousel
sick cycle carousel
sick cycle carousel
sick cycle carousel
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