heyZ.. it's been awhile since i blogged... however, not many people will look at my blog, so there's no stress at all :)
think alot of stuff have been happening throughout this period, gotta slowly update one by one...
well, firstly, for anyone tt's interested, i'm attached. dun think i wanna elaborate too much, jus a really great guy that i think i'm not really good enough for (i'm not being humble here)...
secondly, starting to have papers that count, meaning really had to mug very hard for the pprs, even 5% counts... and had my first tort paper today.. hahaha guess wat, all de talk about not having enough time to finish the paper... i was sitting there 15 mins prior to end of paper, looking at others busy scribling, wondering to myself 'why do they have so much to write'... like 5 min before time's up, i was busy scribling something which does not really appear in the ppr..
when paper ended, though i din write alot, i think i put in enough effort for the ppr. i'm not even thinking about the score..
have the postponed SLS ppr on Sat... my dear lecturer brought the qn to vietnam last week and had difficulty sending it back in time .. it was qt irritating, considering the fact that they were talking about how important it was to hand in assignments in time. becos later in our careers, deadline must be followed really strictly as courts and judges do not give leeway... I mean they even went through the trouble to set up a practice workbin for us to try uploading something just to make sure we could do it... and they themselves have the technical problem... Talk about double standard... should have asked him to write us a report (as we have to write one if we fail to turn up for his lecture...)

thirdly, have extra responsibilities right now.. for all who're letting ur imagination run wild, no i'm not pregnant, i joined law club.. am the social welfare secretary in law club.. alot of meetings, invitation to this and that.. with my tuitionS.. i really wonder if i can juggle them all at once... at this point, i jus wanna say i'm super glad i have a super understanding bf who waited for me till 7 in de evening when his lesson ended at 2, jus to go home with me.. lend me his shoulder to sleep everytime we're travelling.. cos i'm really not sleeping enough.. :p

yeap..
sorta 'quarrel' with my good fren..
really good fren i think..
i think i really neglected the people around me.. growing more and more self-centred as each day passes...
getting really really short tempered nowadays.. really impatient..
but we 'quarrel' not becos of my temper or my lack of patience.. quarrel becos i emailed her telling her i'm attached after a while since we met... she thinks we only go to her cos we haf prob in r/s or have bf stuff to tell her.. i'm qt disappointed.. perhaps our frenship did not really grow with time.. i'm qt disappointed with myself, perhaps i really took her for granted, did not stand in her position to judge if what i was telling her was material enough.. like i did not really pay attention to her as an individual..

i was wrong about how free and easy frenship could be... any kind of relationship needs time and care for it to blossom... without care and attention, think it'll jus wither and die... i tot we had a frenship forged so strong that irregular meetings will be adequate... that we know we'll always be there if something bad happens to each other.. apparently it was not the case..
after this episode, i really dunnoe on what occasion can i look for her? what should i say when i meet her? i have said this to other people before, that if a frenship will require one to think thrice before saying anything, then it's really qt superficial, thinking twice is reasonable.... Din't noe it could apply to us one day..

i should not get too emotional.. it's been awhile since i got too emotional.. and i really dun like the emotional me.. i'm losing touch with that and it is good.. having too much feelings is really not good... be considerate towards other's feelings, but don't have too much feelings urself..

even after you're gone, u cont to teach me... u teach me how to protect myself, by staying in my heart.

be back real soon.
good nite.

wr

hemmmm
din go for dinner with my farmer frenz.
went to study, edit abit of my close memo, read some torts. rather productive compared to stayin at home...

feels much better now :) he said it din haf much impression on him. so i guess i still have a fren

hemm.. eugene says i'm super confused, blur, dunnoe wat i want individual. well, wat to do, when things involve more than one person, it jus gets more complex, in an exponential manner...
it's easier to be alone... with occasional showers of blessings.. haha dun sound right.

i'm goin to blog in my other blog.
talk to u nez time.

wr

as the heart and mind battles...

hahah never tot i'll be caught again. but i noe this time it's a mild one, i could still get myself out of it. i mean i could see it coming, there's a black hole in front of me, take de plunge or step over it...
looking at the situation, his reactions, my past experience, my fren's experience.. my mind tells me to step over it..

"never let the fear of striking out keep u out of the game.."
i'm a coward


"I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn
Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that it's through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn" usher- burn

grinz.
i dunno what i'm typing. jus typing
need to get some emotions out before i go back to my books, if not any attempt will jus be in vain
random tots..

"It's the simple things in life we forget
You hear her talkin' but don't hear what she said
Why do you make something so easy so complicated
Searching for what's right in front of your face
But you can't see it" Usher - simple things

stop trying to read into things. been doin that too much. but a girl will always be a girl, think too much... hahah if i could get rid of this as well..

well, i think there goes a fren. think i talked abit too much yesterday. jus rem wat i said at the end of the conversation. hahaha very clever, wat a thing to say... "i nid to get a grip" LOL.. i'm amazed with myself, budden how could u blame a person that is chatting at like 2 am in the morning? well, i guess it makes things abit easier now.. hahaha. ;p

let me see, anymore things to say...
hmmmm
hahaha i think i jus found something very interesting that i said yesterday as well..
:P qt screwed.

k k.. life's much easier now...
thou i dunnoe wat i wan, i think wateva i said has actually decided for me.
life's going to be fine, sunny, occasional showers... and jus me

wr

not in a good mood.
stressed out, memories came flooding back, overwhelming me... and i'm super stubborn, cont to listen to all de sappy songs...
i noe it's not the time for me to whine, somehow i think that i dun haf the right to be whining. there's so many things waiting for me to do, to complete, to achieve.. what's there to whine about, what is there to think about? what is there to cry about?

i feel rather lost.

where am i heading? why am i doing all these?

i'm already in this, it's really not up to me to turn back. and i will never turn back.
admitting to defeat is something i don't allow myself to do.
i know i'm goin to pull thru, jus like how i pulled myself thru that period of time... pain is nothing but a process, a phase.. crying will only teach you to be wiser, to learn how to protect yourself from being hurt again...

haha, jus when i tot my life turn for the better, that my fren commented it's been a while since i had been so chirpy. then i realised it never really left, it was at the back of my mind, constantly reminding me of the past.
5 months is not enough.. :) my bestest bud was rite, forget about love, conc on studies, "not hurt enough?" even thou i never told him anything haha

i nid to get a new hobby.. learn how to de-stress. like learning archery? bladding??

i'm sorry about the really bimbotic entry today- i dun mean i haf the looks to be one, but mayb de intellectual level.

wo xin li de gan qing
dou dui ni shuo
ma lu shang tian tian dou zai sai
er yi ge ren tian tian zai deng dai
mei you ni re zi hen hei bai
yuan lai zhe yang jiu shi lian ai
wo xiang yao ni zai wo shen bian
fen xiang wo shen ming de mei yi tian
wo xiang yao tian tian shuo
tian tian shuo
tian tian dui ni shuo....
wo ai ni.
david tao, tian tian

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

well, let me think of something nice to say.. to balance it out.
currently, alot of nice frens ard, mostly guys, or all? hemm
good fren, best fren, bestest fren all happens to be guys
and it happens that they're all from ACS, and they're christian~
hmmm
very interesting rite? so far no one tried to convert me yet, maybe they noe they will never succeed hahaha
well, another very interesting factor is they all haf dream gers already !! haha yeap so we're platonic frens k, mai siao siao.. hahah not many pple can have such achievements rite? i'm goin to like become part of them really soon, judging from the fact that been looking at gers (well i still look at guys), and abit violent, and abit loud. starting to curse and swear... very soon, i might not have any suitors at all, not like i have any now but yeah...

hmmm that's de weirdest thing happening around me... *thinks*
yeah>> and my bestest bud is my neighbour, so refer to earlier entry, he has appeared as an eye candy hahah and i actually reminded myself not to give him my blog add. but since we're now bestest bud, i tot it's only right... self proclaimed anti social, cant really talk person. super good christian, dun even drink (wonder why is he a fren now) hmmm good guy, too bad his taken. hahahaha well, if u gers pay me enough mayb i'll keep track of his love life for u all. LOL :) i nid money ah fren.. mus understand..

good fren is supposedly the hottest guy in law fac, i'm still wondering wat they based on to come up with that... cant really comment too much, cos i still want to keep our friendship. hahaha he's cute but definitely not my kind of cute. that's why we can be good frens~ but den again, this guy can be good frens with any ger, think to make his head abit bigger (ego i mean)

and my best fren is an AGP, like a super blur big brother. ask him about outside law stuff and he can talk to u bout it. but think once it comes back to sch work , he always seems to be abit lost. hahaha think my brother here has a bit too much commitments. did i mention we're in same TG for both LAWR/SLS and Torts/contracts? that's why i became his best fren.. easier to inform him about wat to do. i think after some time, we both realised we're both very lost in sch work. hahaha and this is really not working out very well...

well, i think i can haf my male escort agency rather soon, at the rate i'm goin. it's time i find a partner, den start recruiting members. hahahah well, gers can start contacting me and we can start the ball rolling from there...

think i hafta complete my studies in law, i might hafta use my knowlegde nez time....

in de end, it's all going to be worthwhile

when will it be de end?
wat's going to be worthwhile?
who's goin to judge what's worthwhile or not?

shi shang wu nan shiiiiii
Zhiii pa you xing rennnnnnnn

i wannna fly!!!!!!
fly fly fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

have qt a number of things to talk about today...

firstly, was reading the newspaper in the morning and came across this article about the SMRT contemplating whether to build railings that cost $5m. due to the fact that too many pple are falling into the track nowadays.

one interesting observation : those that fall into the track are all adults. does that mean that children nowadays are either well taken care of by their parents or just that adults cant really take good care of themselves?

another thing is that don't singaporeans feel embarrass enough to have an annoucement system that tells us to stand behind the yellow line in FOUR languages EVERYTIME a train is coming, like it's not of common sense?
NOW hearing it is not enough, we have to take action to tell the world that we cant really take good care of our own individual self? that we nid physical barriers to stop us from falling off the track?!?

Wat ever happened to all the protesting voices that we are too taken care of? I tot we have an active group of people always calling out for the government to not dictate our lives, not take care of us so well?

As a frequent SMRT commuter, i personally feel that there are a number of reasons why people do fall off the track.
during peak hours, there are really too many people waiting to board the train. at first, everyone will be nice and courteous and stand behind the yellow line, even outside the line that is drawn for people coming how. HOWEVER, once the train began to move into the station, they seems to be attracted to the centre of where the door will be and before you know it, they are like so close to the door even before the train stops. this might not illustrate how a person can fall into the track before the train arrives, but it certainly shows how people don't really think before they act. by bernoulli's principle, the difference in pressure between nearer the moving train to outside will cause people to be 'suck' towards the train (haha my phys teacher gonna be so proud of me~!). Thus by moving beyond the yellow line before the train actually stops is qt a dumb move. and it actually SHOWS how careless adults can be with their own lives. therefore i think they can be qt capable of standing near the track when they feel giddy etc...

at this point, i nid to make it very clear that i have nothing against those victims of such accident, it's purely against the fact of building the railings.

back to the railings that is estimated to cost $5m. ultimately, being a monopoly in singapore (now my econs teacher will come into the picture) that extra cost, either will be subsidise by our ever caring government, or to us, commuters. and it's really people like me, who take the train like twice everyday, going to absorb most of the cost. If you were hoping for the govt to subsidise, start thinking of where that money comes from first. (hint: working adults pay tax)

It's seriously not about the money, it's about how it can be spent in better ways? like upgrading elderly flats which have pipes that are rusty already? i mean, if there were children or old folks falling off the track, yes, i totally agree we shld put railings. But we're talking about adults who are reasonably competent at taking care of themselves here. if they deliberately did so, only a concrete wall can stop them; if they were purely careless, isn't it high time they wake up? i mean, looking at all the previous cases, cant all of us take abit of initiative to take care of ourselves?

another of such incident is the parking problem in joo chiat (the man goin to disrupt church service due to church goers parking in front of his gate)
i'm sure many complaints would have been made to the church before such an outburst take place. and i am sure that the church would have told the congregation about this. it's human nature to wan convenience, i do it myself, but isn't it only polite, to actually ask if u really have to park in front of someone's property? have it actually occur to those inconsiderate people that others might need to drive out anytime during the church service? What if it was an emergency, someone's dying? if the asking had occured before the whole issue occurred, we wouldn't nid to dispatch traffic police to station there every sunday jus to make sure people follow the rules.

but then again, if everyone follow rules and be considerate, i won't have a job in the future...
hahaha

Yoz~
comtemplating if i shld go out later
i haf another 8 minutes to decide
let's list out the pros and cons..

cons are: i've already been laggin in reading. tml there's torts lecture. my mum wont like it. have been slacking since yesterday. i'll feel bad when i come back.

pro is: there's a brazillian cute guy~! hahaha

k.. looks like goin out is not justified.
mayb i shld jus stay home and study

sigh.

as promised, goin to bring you all de topic of "girls and their petty nature"
actually it's not much. jus alot of my guy frens telling me that gers are really petty, like. too sensitive.. yada yada.
and somehow, i'm not like a ger when i can take insults. i wonder why's dat.
i've got nothing against my own gender here but i do feel that sometimes..
now i've two min left before i go back to work.
i'm goin off..

will attempt the topic again later.
:)
smile.

wr

i'm not getting day off tml becos of teachers' day...
cos i'm an undergrad~!
another tell tale sign that "age is catching up"

anyway my eye is hurting, due to the lack of rest, over stressing and wearing contacts all day and nite...
i'm not very kind to them eh?
think if they had a choice they would jus jump out and run away or something..

i'm qt hungry now>> was out since 7 today, went yj to give Teachers' day Prezzie... then ran off before flag raising before every teachers see me... in order to prevent them and myself to fulfill the obligations to engage in little conversation.. which i'm sure they feel that, as much as i do, is the last thing u wanna do like 7 in the morning
and then went nus from there, over shot my destination and dropped at commonwealth instead... apparently there was no frustration or anything, i jus walk over and took a train back.. den like running in auto pilot mode, i walked to the bus stop, and saw my sister who was on the train after mine...
went to sch..
decided to stop by the computer centre to settle my ivle prob once and for all... and.. GUESS WAT? i like the biggest fool in the century... based on the illustration(pictures) i went to the log in page meant for maintenance purposes... so i will not get thru there... stupid. on my part. and the guy was like apologising for the picture.. haha qt nice eh? these really nice pple make my day man.. makes me wanna be nice, which is qt seldom lah...

maroon 5 qt a dirty band eh?
hahahhaha
i like.

anyway>> cont with my boring entry of my little day
met my new best fren (self-acclaimed by him) at FASS canteen coincidentally so got company for eating~ not like i nid lah.. hahahaha as usual, my anti-social self..so ate and went to try to do some reading... TRY.. and my tutorial.. but jus fell flat on the table after half an hour..

think all the lectures and tutorials are not worth mentioning.. how boring can it can? i jus type boring things here... hahaha so not boring enough to enter my blog i guess

haha did i mention the excitement about goin home with my neighbour wore off already?
still fun when i can stay awake, but i'm jus too tired at the end of the day to really entertain someone..
den it's like tuition
den went sun plaza with don and damien. had fun
and decided to put my work aside.. for like few hours..
(in denial)

i'm goin off to sleep..
i shall address the topic "gers and their petty nature tml.."
got some ideas today..
hahaha

hope i got time to update.

cheers

wr


had my first contract tutorial today, i have really interesting instructor~ he smiles when he talks about contract, can see he is really passionate about the job... anyway, concluded that it's really useless to go for contract lecture, and yes, i'm goin to skip the one tomorrow, as i really nid my sleep. but it wont be perpetual.. :p hopefully
hahaha