*looks ard*

hahaha
i'm wasting my life away as usual.

sleep till 1150 today and met my sister to go ktv.
I ENJOY SINGING!
thou i shouldn't be singing now.
hahaha
i'm actually arranging another session tml
but my frens yet to reply me.
guess i'll hafta do some calling later.

den again.
i was thinking, maybe i shld leave de last day of de year to myself.
u noe, sitting in my studies alone.
think of wat i haf done in de past year.
wat's good and wat's bad
so i can do betta nez year.
dun sound like me yeah?
but i think i shld do it once in a while.
=p

brb.
go take my contacts out....

yupzz
here i am~

and i gotta call tuition agency tml!
hahaha
i'm thinking of saving some money to buy secondary sch text bk
if i'm teaching sec sch maths..
but aft some calculations.. de amt is rather large.
sighz.

yeah..
decided tt i shld onli decide my dir in life when my results are out...
and i'm already freaking out about my results.
argh.
i really wonder what will happen if i flop tis.
i dun think i'll haf de courage to face it, and to start all over again.

anyhow>> beginning to wonder why some pple like clubbing so much.
personally, i enjoy goin with my frenz. dancin with em. drink with em
with de pple i noe.

i realised i'm getting afraid.
afraid of getting close with pple, guys esp.
not jus physically close, emotionally as well.
k, maybe not afraid.
jus denying any possibility tt anyone will "kan shang wo"
=)
hahaha i think tt's qt good thou.

i wanna earn money!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahhaa
i wanna get my license by may.
go overseas in dec.
=)
my short term plan for de year.
*grinz*

we're frens again.
i'm glad.
at least i wont hafta feel bad.
think things are betta this way ba...

act. sometimes i'll still feel lonely.
=p
no one there specially for me.
no one to listen and talk to me everyday.
no one dat i can sha jiao to.
no one i can make lil things for.
no one to take care of me.
hahaha
this is wat pple call freedom.
freedom = doin all de things u wan anytime, anywhere.
emptiness = too much time, dunnoe wat to do.

i think i feel empty.
i cant think of things i wanna do.
seriously.
except goin out with frens for coffee, ktv session, shopping, movie.
i nid something to commit to.
feels like a kite without string attached.
feels like a boat lost at sea.

de kite might look free without de string, but without de string, de kite can onli fly where de wind carries it. no dir of its own.
think it's true for me.
as a student.
as a person.

been studying most of de time.
now dat i've graduated from jc, i really dunnoe where i'm heading, wat am i suppose to do.
sad life ah?

so i aspire to travel!
hahaha
out of singapore.
to learn other things.
to widen my horizon...
to noe more pple

hahaha
i think i crap too much..
gtg
=)

happy new year...

hiak hiak hiakZzz
i'm in a rather good mood today.

went GH with my grandpa today for his appointments with de docz
rather positive
they say he has recovered
and de cancer cells are under control
so great news
thou we spent de whole morning sitting at de couch. waiting.
de air in hospital really bad.
i got a headache there..
blahzz

anyhow>>
came home and slept. or shld i say went into coma.
no idea why i was dead tired.

and i went cwp with my aunt and mom in de evening!
hahaha
and i got a pair of black pants out of it.

on top of tt>> i'm damn happy
hahaha

cant wait for tml~
i'm goin ktv!!!
but i'm still coughing non stop eh
wonder if i should stay home...
and wait for my dinner.
*deep tots*

or go walk walk with some1 else
RAH
decisions. =|

hrmm
i'm too busy to haf any chim tots nowadays.
feel like a bloody brainless ger nowadays eh..
living like a zombie

i shall spend some time to myself tml.
oh yeah>> and to find a tuition agency tml morning.

=)
gtg
byez

i'm still in a daze.
i din really took de medicine today thou.
guess my brain lacks oxygen.
cos both my nostrils are blocked.
I CANT BREATHE!...

argh

yeah!
i had a pleasant surprise today
due to my bad memory or my lousy hearing or eyesight
*grinz*
ignorance can sometimes be a bliss.
hiak hiak hiak...

haha k k tt was a really diff tone altogether.

anyhow>> i think i'll haf to sleep early today.
cos tml goin hospital with my cute ah gong.
to check up.
wonder wat time will de whole thing end...

act. i'm rather brain dead.
i cant write a blog now..
i'll come back to u when i get my brain organized.

cheers
=0
wr

no mood to write blog today
TMD

i'm not goin to eat yun tun for a good long while....
for those who understands wat yun tun means.. sorrie to spoil ur appetite...
for those who dun, i suggest u dun find out...

anyhow..
i still cant feel my head, or my limbs after take 2 doses of medication...
strangely, it feels like when i'm tipsy..
so tis is wat pple call high aH?
i feel rather stupid lydat eh...
anyhow>> i cant really think str8 now...
so.. yeah.. hahaha i'll jus type anything tt comes to my mind yeah?
as usual anyhow..

oh yeah...
i think de onli good thing dat came out of my losing voice exp is tt i finally started reading LOTR tt was lying on my table for .. about 2 wks..
hahaha.. it's really nice eh..
even when de medicine was acting on my, i cont reading...
dun think i shld cont later.. maybe tml.. cos its rather late le..
mus take care of myself.. no one take care of me...*sigh*

hahaha
k k
tt's a load of rubbish...
i haf my very cute ah gong.
he's so nice eh..
cook porridge for me
den keep walking in and out of de kitchen, asking me if i wan this or dat.
told me not to wash de dishes cos he tot i'm still having flu, but in actual fact i'm having sore throat and cough now..
anyhow>> i very guai-ly left de dishes hahahaha patients must be good rite?
yeah>> i think he cant stop worrying about me ba. yesterday my situation already qt bad.. he told me not to go to my aunt house in de afternoon.. but i still went.. =p
hahaha bad bad me.. made my ah gong worry...
i think cos he was a patient not long ago.. so he understands how bad i feel.. sigh.. i think what i went thru was nuthing compared to him.. i already felt like like dying yesterday..
imagine him goin thru all dat for a few weeks....

good thing he's recovered!
*grinz*
and i'm on my way to recovery!!!
*grinz grinz*

heng no one called this few days.

hahahah
my mum damn cute..
jus now she called.
i picked up..
den she was like "why ur voice still lydat?"
...
hahaha guess she too worried le ..
aft yesterday i woke up 6 in de morning...
and told her i cant swallow even my saliva..
=p

yeah..
i guess one cant have everything in de world.
i haf a great family. and i'm thankful for it.
shan't ask for too much
hahaha
u gain some, u'll lose some...

think i shld go to bed le...
=)
i cant wait for monday to come...
hiakz hiakz hiakz

i'm gone~

merry merry x'mas to all of u out there.

cant say i'm having a good christmas eve thou.
i was bed ridden since yesterday nite.

as usual, i sneeze too hard and too many times.
until i got a sore throat.
i caught a cold.
very bad cold.
i slept at 11 plus, wanted to go to bed earlier, but boss they all wanted to come my house initially. so had to wait up.
in de end they din come.
much to my relieve thou.
i was in no state to take care of em.
din even greet my sis nor my parents when they came home....

tis morning my cold and sorethroat escalated into fever.
really good to haf a sister.
she made me go over to eat breakfast (swiss roll)
and made me eat panadol...
only den she went to sch.

aft i woke up and had my porridge, prepared by my dearest ah gong,
i felt betta alreadi.
den my sec sis left de house.
so technically i was left alone at home until my parents came back in de afternoon.
they brought home tis really big vegetarian bao.. really appetizing...
and i felt betta.
so i had half of it.
and 2 mouths of my dad's duck rice.
wonder which of it left me tossing and turning in bed later in de afternoon.
wanted badly to puke cos my sore throat was really uncomfortable.
and coughing really made me wanna puke.
finally puke in de evening....
den went over to get some sympathy....
my unker asked if i wanna watch LOTR... argh.. i wan to!!!!
but i cant.

after i had porridge, again, courtesy of my ah gong whch taste really good, i wrapped myself up in my unker's room watching who wans to be a millionaire..
den my bones were really killing me..
i took some ying qiao and came back over....
back to bed... all alone...
i had to be all alone on a christmas eve..
i'm really qt sad.
i wonder was i really tt mean?
i feel like a total failure in life.
from last nite till jus now.
onli 2 ppl noe i'm down will flu.
no one else msged me...
no one called.

boss said he wanted to ask me out>> but tot i might haf plans le so din...
so, am i too successful? or pathetic?

i read bosses' blog jus now...
i haf to admit i'm envious of her.
i mean how many gers get to haf guys doin all dat for em?
i'm not greedy ba..
i jus nid one.
sigh.

i dun like to be alone.
or rather i was hoping they'll be online...
looks like there's no miracles on christmas either...

i'm really wallowing in self pity now....

act. i feel betta in front of de comp..
feels like i'm connected to de world...
at least i noe i'm not alone ...
talk about pathetic...

i cant really think now...
i'm jus typing wateva tt's coming to my mind...

some bloody idert jus cant stop asking me about my break up.
WHAT THE FUCK.
he act. asked me "why always gers break up with guys"
wah.. damn it
it's as if i'm so damn happy breaking up with him
it's as if i wanted so bad to break up wit him
it's as if i was toying his feelings all along
it's as if i am in de wrong.

i think anger is much betta feeling than sorrow.
at least i feel more alive.

sigh.
i was hoping one of em to call me.

argh

no special tots to post today eh...
jus wanna tell everyone that centro got bad management
uberture cannot find good place to organize their "beauty paegent"
on de whole yday rather sucky.

=p
centro is damn ex as well.
either tt or they purposely push de price up yday.

once again>> we're taught of de harsh reality in society today.
everything involves money.
and de amt it involves will onli increase with time.
so can somebody tell me again, why are de teens in sg growing more and more materialistic and motivated more by money than anything else.
not onli is de education sys not working.
de society itself .
de family unit itself.
has problems, and flaws in the upbringing of de limited amt of younger generation.

but den again.
who am i to comment so much?

i'll jus appear cynical.
to others, i'll jus be another person, unhappy to be a sg.
a quitter.
someone who onli critize de country but doin nuthing.
rite> i've yet to contribute anything to de society.

tt's why i'm writing all tis in my blog, and not in a bk.
partly also becos of my lousy eng thou.

yeah.
tt's my two cents worth today.

wr

i've still got a mindful of things goin on in my head.
i really think i shld empty my schedule nz week.
to haf time to sit ard, by myself. think of my life, my goals.
where am i heading.
what issit i really want in life.

suddenly i feel like being a teacher.
hahaa
guess i'm rather influenced.
perhaps i wanna make an impact on some1 else.
be it 1, 2 or 20, 30 pple..

hahaa
but i'll haf to get my degree first.
*grinz*

yupZ
=)

i hope my blog has inspire some souls out there...
or at least entertained all of u.
=)

wr

man.
i feel that i've jus wasted 18 years of my life.
compared to him
i think i've wasted EVERY single sec this 2 wks.
he has surpassed de "eligible bachelor guy" stage to a zhi ji
someone whom i wouldn't dare to date in fear of losing him as a fren
someone whom i doubt i'll date due to circumstances.
someone who can really get me thinking about life, about goals, looking into de inner self.

i'm learning how to practise what i preach.
i'm finding de true goal in my life.
looking for things that really matter in my life.

man, i jus cant get enough of talking bout such intangible stuff.
thankz~.

another significant day in my life.
reminds me de analogy about self motivating leaders as fire starters
and leaders as charcoal, not knowin their own potential.
i guess i'm a piece of charcoal that needs constant liting from fire starters.
hahaha
wat a lousi piece of charcoal.

yup> he might be leaving sg for good
tt's rather sad piece of news
but i've learn something

no one is obliged to be there for anyone.

=)

i think i need time to find myself.
do some soul searching
b4 2003 ends.
b4 stepping into a new year.

today's meeting has not disappoint me a bit at all.

and i realised as well today
that i've not been as good a fren i tot i was all along.
i wasn't sensitive enough
rather self centred.
always completing other's sentences for others
most of all, i think i haven't been practising what i preached.

i realised i cant really change how pple think.
as much as i hope they'll change for e betta < according to my stds
i realised they might not see me as a figure important enough to cause an impact on their perspective of life.
they haf diff influences in their lives, diff fam backgrd.

i'm working towards being a better fren.
i suppose i'll try.
i dun see it as accomodating them
i see it as learning
learning to communicate with them.

i onli see it now.

i'll see it thru.

wr

yada yada..
i'm rather brain dead now.
nothing much happened today
brought my lil sister swimming
and gave her a lecture.... or rather a lesson on how to apologise.
hahahaha
k k
made her cry~
my mum says i'm sadist.
whahahaha
but needed to teach her a lesson...

so...
I"M NOT A SADIST!

LOL...

k k
feel betta today.
not much time to think too much
gotta wake up early tml...

suppose to sleep early ba...
but dunwan to go sleep.
*grinz*

so....
dunnoe shld i sleep today not..
hahahah
tis is worst that when i'm preparing for a's...

yeahh...
19 is tis fri~!
hiakz hiakz

k k
take care

wr

hrm
i feel like crying aft reading their blogs.
i think i've already forgotten wat it means to be a gd fren.
i dunnoe wat am i suppose to do to be a gd fren.

or maybe it has no definition?
i can feel their presence even thou they're not near.
i can relate to their situation, their conversation, even thou we have not met for a few months.
i can laugh and cry with them, get angry for something that does not even concern me with em.
i haf not told these pple i'm consider them as good fren.
i neva labelled anyone as good fren at all.
but i noe deep down inside, these are the pple i wanna keep in my life forever.
meeting em once in a while, get to know their situation.

there're also pple whom i lost contact, emotionally and physically. for as long as a year. den i realised that, i was that close with her. i've finally found her back. but u cant imagine how bad i feel when i heard wat hap to her in dat year. in a year when she needed frens de most. in a situation when i knew if someone was there for her, she'll be able to recover much faster. i cannot forgive myself.

did i tell her : hey, we're de best of frens. u're my gd fren.

no.

i think it's less of wat u say.
more of what u do.

to some whom i believe is not worth it, i usually dun gif much attention to.
to pple whom i see as a gd fren, one call and i'll be there.
i'm not trying to sound noble.
but these are the pple who were there for me.
whom i tot of when i was in deep shit
and turn up for me.
niang niang is one eg ba...

perhaps u all might see me as selfish,
onli when pple treat u well den u treat him/her well.
but tt's how i work.
tt's de diff standards that pple have.
tis is mine.

=)
well, i noe we're still close frens ba...
i dun ask for u all to be there for me all de while.
bi jing, we all haf our own lives.
i mean, in my life, a few gd frens is good enough for me.

hao peng you ying gai hai xu yao yi dian yuan fen ba.

thankz.

i'm not feeling too good...
sigh.

i dunnoe whats wrong with me...
argh
i think i nid to sleep.

he lost his fone.
dunnoe what hap.
he din reply my icq msg online.
i suppose he hates me now?
i dun like this feeling at all..
wat's dis suppose to mean?
argh.
maybe it's becos i'm alone.

sigh.

i dunnoe wat to say.

wr

i've been in front of de comp since 9 plus.
it's 0035 now.
i dunno wat hav i been doin.
wat am i waiting for.

yeah
stupid me.
went thru my old entries.
dun feel too much thou.

i think i'm losing it.
~~`

i think i'll jus dismiss it as a joke ba.
hahaha
come to think of it, it's so unreal.
i feel like luffing at myself le
*hahaZ*

so perhaps. from today, i'll stop waiting.
i'll stop mentioning. i'll stop thinking.
not goin to feel like an idert again ba..

well, perhaps i shld feel happy dat he replied
LOL.

i'm outta of all tis.
goin to retreat to some nunnery.
maybe i'll set up my own religion.
den start preaching wat i've learnt in life.
which is rather little.

sighz

"wo xiang yao runaway runaway home...."


haiZ..
wo hai shi bu gan ji mo ba...
*ku xiao*

hahaha jus realised something...
we've been "siaming" de topic ever since tt day.
perhaps we're still at de guessin stage
haha and i guessed that he's got over le.
so. i shall stop wat i've been doin ba?
LOL, wonder how dumb i look..
haha de female side of me talking.
dou shuo le, i've got alot of diff faces...
no one will see it all ba.

maybe it's my "bu gan ji mo" that cause all de trouble in my relationship.
which resulted in my pestering him to pei wo.
tt resulted in him getting sick of dat.
tt resulted in de relationship losing de spark.
tt resulted in tis.

so, why issit tat pple go into a relationship if they'll feel lonier than they are when they're single?
dat they can tell emself there's someone thinking of em somewhere on earth?
so is there anyone that is thinking of me now?
if so, why do i still feel lonely?

i think i nid help
i shld stop thinking of qn tt i dun haf ans to.

stop acting like a despo wenrong.
is de voice inside me tt's screaming to me.

yeap.
def, wateva u say.

sigh

wr

hey hey~
eating milo choc now
hahahaha
growing fat xia
anyhow>> i went joggin jus now... so i suppose it's not so bad ba....

stayed home de whole day today..
haiZ
made my fren angry today
cos flew her aeroplane...
but even if i said a million times of sorry. she will still be angry
but tis doesnt mean i can jus ignore her...

tis is de same for a couple ba
guys usually think de ger will be fine aft some time
dat since she's angry, wateva u say will be in vain.
but wat de ger is waiting for is for u to say something nice ba.
even if she might scold u, tell u to go away. u still hafta be thick skin and try to make her smile or sumthing
i mean u wont expect her to be not angry suddenly and talk to u first yeah?
if not she'll haf more reason to be angry..

so guys, be abit more thick skin nez time ba...

perhaps dat's why guys think gers are diff to understand..
or issit they dun put in de effort to understand em?

yada yada
i shld go woo gers instead
hahahahaha
maybe i'll be rather successful eh~
k crap.

man..
damn cold..
all alone at homeZ
=)
eating choc..
shld be wrapped in my blanket reading some story book ba..
hao xing fu woah...
hahahha


hrm
ke neng zai zi qi qi ren ba.
=p

anyhow>> gers still xiang wang ai qing ba.
hahaha
yah yah.. i noe i noe.. all my jc frens gonna start tis.. "you think u ger" thing
yada yada yada
no comments..

i go sing song le...

wr

i dun feel so good.
i'm starting to question alot of things.
question de way i treat pple.
question de way others treat me.
question my frenships with other pple
question my relationships with other pple

i realise that pple can ba hao peng you gua zai zhui bian.
but in act. fact are we?
i realise that my relationship with them are getting awkward.
are they trying to bao liu yi fen chan que de you yi?
i starting to feel that i'm treated with double standards.

maybe it's jus me.

it's a very abstract feeling, or rather i really dunno how to put it down in words.

somehow, something is also telling me i'm expecting too much.

perhaps in my life, they'll be another group of frens.

so i start to ask myself, is there anyone that i really call a good fren, close fren.
someone i think of when i haf happy things to share, someone whom come to me when he/she is in trouble and yada yada yada

i realise i dun haf an ans.
we all haf our own group of frens.
all turn to diff ppl for help.

so.. is hao peng you a nicer name for a closer passerby in this phase of my life?

i do not like de feeling when i put in effort and show enthusiam but all i get in return is indifference.
i'm afraid i learn to ignore, learn to be indifferent. becoming unfeeling towards the things ard me. things that perhaps, really matter in life...

i'm one confused soul.

wr

i left de camp even before it started.
doubt i can mention wat happen but..
life is super unpredictable...
plus i din get enough sleep
and i think i'm allergic to some drinks yesterday...
and i'm hungry
i'm super depress now.

i feel like a piece of shit.
RAH

i nid to see doc about tis rashes.

man...
it's times like these when u think u need someone by urself
times like these that u feel most lonely.

but i'm fine
i jus hope my fren can take it.
she'll pull thru

sigh

i feel helpless.

wr

hiak hiak hiak
it's 430
i'm rather sleepy
but i think i cant sleep le..
cos i gotta leave house by 6 plus for de camp..
bear>> now u noe why i dun feel like goin le..
i can sleep there de whole day man...

*yawnZ*
had a great time ... k k
de music at de rj bash suckz like hell
i cant believe i upset my parents becos of some stupid bash like this..
however>> i had a good time with my frens
thou they did abandon me once in a while
anyhow i was a good ger. as in i din dance with any guys lah
thou i saw tis cute caucasian
hahahaha
k k
who told me i shouldn't accept drinks from strangers
*grinz*

anyway~~~~~~~
i'm sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and for all of u out there who're worried..
i'm fine.
not drunk
anyhow i'm de onli sober one but i got a ride all de way to my doorstep
wahahahhaha
how lucky
din hafta spend on cab fare eh..
but rather brave of us lah...
shhhhhh

sigh
i've yet to pack my stuff..
damn
i think they're gonna get a bloody zombie in de camp tml..

sheesh
i gotta get a gripz

see u all on 15...
when i'm back..
take care
muackz

wr

yada yada yada....
some stupid taiwanese show on de tv...
pi li huo
*yawnZ***

slack my day away at home today
scolded my stupid sister for something tt she said wrongly....
she's rather thick skin eh...
1 min later she's running ard again.. making noise le...
budden it's good lah..
at least she wont develop some mental prob cos she always says sumthing wrong
and everyone will scold her for it....
so let's all learn how to be abit more thick skin...

little sis said sumthing profound today
hahahha
think it's something like every diff pple haf diff thinking
wahhhh
not bad eh... for a ger of her age..
i'm proud of her
=)

family...
i love my fam
esp after learning how much my dad loves my mom..
hahahahah
k k
i abit lian fu now...
bleai

anyhow everyone ignoring me on irc..
i wonder why?
wat did i do..

yuck..
jus heard something damn mushy from my unker
*brrrrrrrrrrr*
sends shivers down my spine.....

hahaha i goin to camp on friday!!!!!!!!!!
hahahaha
hope i'll haf fun..
going clubbing tml..
jus go there see see look look
dun feel like dancing..
bleai

k k
i think all these are rather mindless....
i see andy lau on tv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahha
he damn shuai..
yue lao yue shuai...
he damn cute eh...

yada yada yada
talk about mindless
no choice lah
rather no focus in life now....
yupZz
and i believe i shant bore u all with my bo liaoz love life...
so yada yada yada....

shall come back later..

hhahahaha
i'm in a good mood today
=)
shall update later
hiak hiak hiak

adapted from some where... i like de analogy..
very true...
take some time to read yeah?

A relationship starts off as a clear piece of
paper. A guy and a gal
agrees to write on that piece of paper. When it
starts, both r excited as
it's their first time working together. They
fill up the paper with the
best of things they can think of. Sometimes the
guy writes more, sometimes
the gal writes more. Some people writes without
thinking much, some writes
after some thought.


As the writing carries on, it gets more and more
tiring. The couple have
to be motivated to keep on writing.This is the
commitment and
responsibility of a relationship.As long as the
urge to write
continues,the writing will never end.It will
carry on paper after paper
until one pen's ink run out. This is eternal
love till death do us
apart...


Some couples prefer to write together,some write
their own and combine the
efforts.Neither side should be the only one
writing,else ink may get
blocked for the party who writes non-stop. Too
tired...


The character of a person is like the
handwriting on the paper... Everyone
has his/her handwriting. It is very difficult to
change one's
handwriting.Not impossible but it takes a lot of
time and hard work.


The outcome may not be desirable.It is also
difficult to imitate the
handwritings of another person.The most one can
do is to be tidier or more
untidy in their handwritings.Sometimes,to make
the writing on the paper
look more presentable,it could be necessary for
either side to slightly
alter the style of his/her handwritings...


A mistake in love is like a smudge on the
paper... Whether purposely or
accidentally a smudge is a smudge. No matter how
well the writing has
gone.So far or how lovely is the content, a
smudge will leave a mark no
matter how well u cover it (eraser, liquid
paper, etc.). Whether to keep
on writing will depend on the perception of the
couple. Whether they mind
the content more or the outlook of the piece of
work more.


Worst case is when the paper is torn. It'll
leave a very ugly mark. Well,
the decision lies with the couple...


To break-off is to stop writing... Many reasons
can lead to this ending.
One party could be the one writing non-stop and
really too tired to carry
on anymore. One party or both could be
unsatisfied with the content or
really dislike what each other is writing (it
takes time to know the
writing style of someone,it could be halfway
through the paper before it
is known).


Or a smudge exists and either one or both mind
(depend on their level of
perfectionism). Or it could be what they r
writing r contradicting each
other. It can also be the case where one party
finds another partner to
write with...


Other analogies... Pen users r serious lovers.
Those who use pencils like
to test things out first. Some even write drafts
with other people
(many-timers).


After a breakup, a photocopy of the writings so
far is made and this is
given to a party while the other keeps the
original (for memories).Or it
could be either or neither will keep the
writings. It could also be the
original work lies there waiting for the
original writers to be back.


A well-done masterpiece could be bound into a
book and kept
forever.Likewise in some cases, it may be pieces
of paper lying
around.Different people writes different things
and have different
outcomes.In the case of people going through
many relationships, it's just
like changing partners to work with.


Some may write things according to past
experiences or have new ideas.
While writing, the couple may exchange their
pens. In a new relationship,
one party might mind that his/her partner's pen
has been used by other
people before.Personally I believe this also
applies to friendship right?


It also requires both parties to play their part
to keep the friendship
forever lasting.


You only live once. What do you really want to
do and achieve in life?


Let's think, learn & share. It is a meaningful
journey.

they come to you like a knight in a shining armour...
u fall in love like a helpless princess.
onli to find out later that they're the wicked wizards/witches/wolfs in disguised...

rather cynical huh?

i jus realised everything tt's not nice in fairy tales starts with w...
my name is Wenrong..
hahahaha
interesting discovery of mine when i'm writing another blog.

rah.

jus watched elf de movie..
rather stupid.
it's de kind of mindless entertainment u go to when u're tired/sad/boliaoz
i'm all three i guess

and for my frens who might get worried...
i'm fine.

i'm still wondering if i wanna turn up for my fren's dad's wedding dinner..
supposedly to go with him..
now i dun think i wanna go eh..
~~`
it's 25th. any guy out there wanna help?
hahahahaha
nah..
kidding..
i'm bringing a girl!
LOLzz
k k...

i really wonder why am i online...
talk to a bunch of pple who think they noe me but act. we're jus crapping away.
or wait for others to msg ?
so how many pple are there that act. noes me?
for who i am?
and who am i?
i think i'm goin thru an identity crisis here...

i'm known as the noisy "lil" chatterbox that provides entertainment in a crowd. always talking, always making noise. ever cheerful, no need for battery to work. sometimes can be fierce. loud, outgoing, mindless, lame blabbering all de while.

doubt many seen de other side of me.
doubt many will ever see de other side of me.

well..
anyhow, for guys out there.
i'm serious about setting up a male escort agency.
includes a month's (perhaps longer for some out there) of basic gentleman ediqutte(however u spell that) training, and when i'm successful with it, some investment on ya image.
hahahahaha
anyone care to join me as partner?
firstly i nid someone to teach me more about being a gentleman.
i noe some le.. i nid more ba...
hahaha i nid some one with money.. so i can "decorate" my male escorts..
and get license in singapore.
so i nid someone with ALOT of money...
mauhahaha
k k..
dis is fun
=)

anyhow>> guys, be nice to ur gf. i would advice u all to be gentleman to all de ladies out there. but might mislead some. so.. be nice to ur gf... =)

take care.

i've officially broken up with him...
he said he's having a hard time at field camp.
he said he missed me..
asking if not meeting was my way of getting back at him or i want to end it all...

i told him, he'd onli miss me when he's having a hard time...
it's only a week of cold shoulder and he couldn't take it
i said i think we're seriously not meant to be...
i tried. i failed. i leave with no regrets.
wished him all de best in his future relationship.
and not to make his mistakes again...

really sad things haf to turn out tis way.
i shld cry.
i haf no tears.
perhaps the impact has yet to set in...

why does relationships starts with all de lovey dovey stuff...
but changes from when one cant live without another,
to one has to learn to survive without another.

why teach me to be dependent on you, den leave me helpless, giving me all kinds of excuses?

i'm glad i got pass de helpless stage.
i dun wish to go there again...
sigh.

i wonder how he's taking it...
i din wanna say a thing cos he's in field camp..
i dunnoe wat will happen if i see him again..

like i've learnt frm my mentor... do things and dun ever regret..
i haf to look forward..
i've got many more things to do..
no time to wallow in self pity..

i'll rem de good times he gave me.
=)

i'd rem that there was once tt i act. tot he's de one.
i'd rem that there was once tt he was de nicest person on earth.
he's de one i ran to when my esteem was badly hurt.
he was de one whom i ran to when i got into trouble with my ct.
he was de one who gave me some of de sweetest mem that i have.

sigh.
things had to turn out tis way.

i din wan to choose de easy way out.
i learn that when u dun see future in de relationship, no matter how much u feel for de person, how much u're willing to give into the relationship. it's not goin to work.

i believe he'll feel less burdened.
without me pestering him to come out meet me.
throwing tantrums when he's late.
sulking when he fails to make me happy.

he'll feel less burden and a sigh of relieve when de issue of pride is over.
i believe he was afraid of hurting me.
tt's why everytime we got to de issue of breaking up, he'll say we can try abit more.

i tot i could pull thru..
i tot i could wait till one day when he realise my worth.
then he'll haf time for me.
then we can jus walk hand in hand down de beach
he'll be with me as and when i wan.

i'm sorry.

he can now find his sporty ger.
tanned, pony tail..
he told me i wasnt the kind of ger he wanted b4...
i hope u find ya ger soon...
someone whom u'll bring home.
someone whom u'll love her with all ur heart
someone whom u'll put her amongst ur top priorties.
someone who will love you
someone who can take care of you
someone who can give u de freedom u hope for.
someone who is independent...

it's not adviceable to listen to songs when u jus broke up...

i'll be strong...
=)

another great old song.. hahahaha enjoy

N'sync
i believe in you

I never believed in dreaming
It never got me very far
I never believed that love could find me
Like an arrow through the heart
I never believed in miracles
Or building castles in the air
Not until that day I found you
Turned around and you were there

From the day you came
You gave me a whole new point of view
I've been touched by an angel
It's impossible but true

I believe in you
I swear that forever from today
No one will ever take your place
I believe in you
(I believe in you - oh yeah)
And I believe our love will last
Always (Oh yeah)

I never believed in fairytales
Though sometimes I wish I could
I never believed that golden slippers
Could ever find the perfect foot
I never believed in magic
Or that wishes could come true
But your very first kiss
Changed all this
Something only you could do - yeah

You made me a believer
You made me trust again
You showed me there's a pot of gold
In every rainbow's end

I believe in you (I believe in you)
I swear that forever from today
No one will ever take your place
(No, no, no, no no)
I believe in you (I believe in you)
And I believe our love will last
Always (Always yeah)

Only love (Only love)
Sets you free
And if it's up to fate
Then you're my destiny (Yeah)

Now I know (Now I know)
Now I see
Anything can happen (Anything)
If you just believe

I believe in you (I believe in you, baby)
(I believe in you, baby)
I swear to forever from today
(Forever) - (Forever)
No one will ever take your place
(No one's gonna take your place)
I believe in you
(I believe in you, baby) - (I believe in you)
And I believe our love will last
(Believe our love will last) - (Will last)
Always (Oh ohhh)
I believe in you (I believe in you)
I swear to forever from today
(I swear - I swear) - (Forever)
No one will ever take your place
(No one's gonna take your place)
I believe in you
(I believe - I believe in you)
And I believe our love will last
(Is gonna last - is gonna last - is gonna last)
Always (Oh ohhh)

I believe in you (I believe in you, baby)
(I believe in you) - (Believe yeah)
I swear to forever from today
(Forever) - (Forever)
No one will ever take your place
(No one's gonna take your place)
I believe in you
(I believe) - (I believe)
(Can you believe) - (Can you believe)
And I believe our love will last
Always.

GREAT XMAS SONG BY 98 DEGREES
thou abit old.. but nice songs lasts forever and ever..
=)

This gift

The snow is falling
the city is white
ur eyes are shining like diamonds tonite
and we're all alone there's no one home
u're finally in my arms again

the nite is silent
and christmas is here
i couldn't ask for more than having you near
cos i love you girl
and i always will
and now i noe the moment is rite
the moment is rite.

cos i've been waiting to give tis gift tonite
i'm down on my knees there's no betta time
it's something to last for as long as you live
tonite i'm gonna gif you all my heart can give...

i tot i'd gif you something shiny and new
i tried to find something worthy of you
but i realise when i looked inside
there's something that money cant buy
i feel de magic whenever you're near
i feel it even more this time of the year
cos i love you girl
and i always will
and now i noe the moment is rite.
the moment is rite...

cos i've been waiting to give tis gift tonite
i'm down on my knees
there's no betta time
it's something to last for as long as you live
tonite i'm gonna give you all my heart can give

you know i'll always be true to you
and you know i'm de one you can turn to
oh yeah
anytime any place or any where
u noe that i'll always be there....
oh baby

cos i've been waiting to give this gift tonight
i'm down on my knees there's no better time
it's something to last as long as you live
tonight i'm gonna give you all my heart can give......

muahahahahha
woke up brite and early to send a frenster msg.
den decided to put a tag board on my blog
=)
doubt anyone will comment leh
but anyhow
i see already i happy lah
whahahahaha

sian!
might be goin to sing ktv with boss and co. later
i jus realised de uk farmers all not available today
damn.
hahaah oh yah
did i mention i'm having a lil' sore throat..
i'll be noiseless tml
ahhahaha
HOORAy for some of u out there who consider me to be too noisy

bleai
yupZzz
not much to add today.. esp when i jus woke up and have yet to do anything
except tt i'm goin to sweep de floor later..
its been a while since i swept my house floor
hahahahaha can imagine de dust piling up~
right...

yada yada yada.

cheers

hiak hiak hiak~
had a great time at my class chalet..
man i'm goin to miss them.
sigh.
my class!! so small so cosy. seems like i noe everyone abit .. thou not very close but yah.. i'll still miss em...

so many things happened~!
i dunno where to start lah.
doubt i wanna put it here anyway.
hahahaha sorry ahZ...

yupZ
jus sent my gd fren off today. sigh. everyone like flying here and there...
i feel sad. bleai.

anyhow>> i dun haf much tots to put in here today eh..
so all i'm typing is mindless blabbering.. (yah lah.. as usual as some pple might put it.)
heez

yeahh
celebrating my mom's bday today.
got lotsa food... hrmm damn man keep eating
i'm goin jogging tml!!!!
=)
mus jian fei le.. bleaii....
if not become fatso. rah.. yah yah yah.. already qt fat le lah.. k k let's not talk about sensitive issues.

rahhhhh
my job still not confirm.
i think they're rather inefficient
hrmpf

CANT WAIT FOR 19!
hahahaha
shhhhhhhhhh

k lah
i shan't type any more weird stuff here...
in case everyone starts swearing and cursing

take care!

cheers

now it's jus me my blog and de songs in my comp.

i would like to start todays blog saying, i hope i can trust those that noes about tis blog to keep it to emself. i mean, i dunwan pple to be reading it. most pple. it's about my inner most feelings and thoughts. unless my closest frens ask, i wont give de add to em either. of cos u all can stop visiting, i mean who wans to read about wat happens in my boring life. but yah. i trust all of u. =)

secondly i'm dedicating tis blog tis gd fren of mine. i still treasure our frenship.

thirdly, it's rather eventful today. it's really filling up my whole mind and i doubt i'll do well in tml's sat. hopefully i'll be able to make it in de jan one.

i feel lousy. feel like a bitch. perhaps i'm not cut out to be one. perhaps i still cant get use to hurting pple. hurting pple ard me. however, sometimes situation jus calls for it.

tis blog is goin to be full of ideas and tots flying here and there.

i dunno if what i did or said is appropriate today. i believe is betta than givin u false hope. given my situation, i really think i nid to clear up my situation, find myself, move on. instead of getting cropped up again. victimizing u. i really hope u understand.

not trying to sound noble here. not trying to find ways to justified wat i said. but there are many things that u've yet to take into considerations. i nid someone who can see further than me. that looks things in de big picture.

i cant deny i'm flattered. serious. i believe u're de best looking, most matured, best choice among my guy frens. i also think u haf a huge fan club out there. u haf many to choose from. but u also happen to be one of de nicest guy i noe. i cant lead u on. if not i could haf agreed. rather than trying so hard to explain myself to u. sigh.

all i can say is. i'll take care of myself. wont turn into a party goer. wont flirt ard. i'll cont to go out with guys, but jus as frens. perhaps what i said may haf made u disappointed in me. but diff pple, individual have diff sense of what's acceptable what's not.

i believe u'll come back one day and show me how much i've missed. =) i haf faith in u. u'll make me regret my decision. i'll be happy for u. i'll be hoping u find dat someone that really can treasure u, at the rite time, de rite person.

sigh

btw i'm touched. by what u said. de way u said if i nid help to clear my mess up. and de other things u mentioned. =) thank you. so de more i noe i cant keep u waiting. de more i had to explain my situation. de more i tot u shld find someone betta.

i dun think many pple noe me that well. i've many characteristics that not one person has seen thru and thru. one day u'll tell me u're not de person i was in love with. i've exp it b4, i dunwan it to happen again. =)

life will go on for u as usual.
life will go on for me as usual.

it's tough noeing ur gd fren is goin thru tis and not being able to help. i'm not de one tt shld go comfort him now. feels really bad. but u'll pick urself up.

i haf faith in u.

hrmmm
went many many places today~~~
=)
not really lah
but jus ran ard today to get my stuff done.
and other ppl's stuff done
i'm now a running errand ger. ~~`
hahahaha anyhow it makes me feel impt.
LOL i sound like some attention seeking lil kid .. ~~`
i'm attention seeking... hrmm not very sure if i'm a lil kid
wahhahaha

k enough of crap
yupZ
went to get some prezzie for a couple of frens
bon voyage to em~

anyway>> my mom said bear is handsome!!! ahhahahahaa *Luff my head off*
no offence ah bear. but yah.. hahahahahhahahahahahah k k.. eh.. u jus officially became shi nai sha shou... go figure.

hiak hiak hiak.
oh yah.. wanna to apologise to litong, cos i used up his cam battery on prom. and i aggravated his already bad reputation as a "gay" hahahaha SORRY TONG! u wont guai wo one rite? =)

hrm.. went thomson plaza starbucks to study SAT for an hour. FUN =)
hahahahhaa rather cozy de sofa. hiakZzzz. i really wanna bring one home eh... man.. sigh.. (*^(*&%(&*%&*^$%！hahaha i hope de chn wont come out.. LOL

had a great time tis week.. suppose tis is my bestest week in my whole hols i believe very strongly that i wont change my mind even till de last week of tis 7 mths. lalalallalala

i always believe when things hit rock bottom, it can onli get betta. =)

life is good. sigh. till sat i suppose.

take care my fren(s)~

cheers

hrmmm
i type one whole page on my prom and de stupid website hang....
k k
i shall go thru it all over again... but i think i'll shorten it
hahahaha

yeahhhh
talk about my prom
let's say all de bad stuff first...

firstly~
we had muslim food!!!!!!!! no offence but i think my table pple din take it very well..
not very used to it..
esp poor tong!!!!!! he dun take spicy food at all!!!! those organizers din spare a tot for those who dun take spicy food can!!!!???!?!?!
end up, we decided that the penut was de nicest dish of all
plus de fruits
ahahahhahaha

secondly~~
de mc suckZ!!!!!!! no only was he tt kind that think his jokes were funny when they're not. he was super sacastic~!!!! i think he offended most pple that took part in de stupid games they prepared. ~~` i mean... he started de nite off by saying "finally you all are movin in" can someone tell me how come he is an mc? i cannot find a teeny weeny bit of quality in him that makes him an mc. except that he talk too much.

thirdly~~~
de choosing of prom king and queen...hrmm one thing, we din get to nominate our own frens. it was de yr 1 councillors and teachers. HELLO!!!! THE PROM IS FOR US LOh, NOT FOR EM LOH~! rah. i cant believe it eh. they are blind enough to not choose tiong, belle and some pple tt i cant think of now (having short term mem) yah~! and rite!!!! yaqin and any guy shld haf won other than mark~!!!!!!! ..... no offence. he's cute but dun exactly look like he was goin to prom yesterday lah. i mean HELLOW~! PROM KING EH! bloody hell look like some ah beng with a tie. cant even stand str8. k i think i'm offending alot of pple. but yah. i dun haf anything against him lah. jus think that the voting sys is abit rubbish. i mean if a "cannot make it guy" got nominated and he has many LOUD frens are we goin to haf him as a prom king as well. sigh. i wonder why am i so worked up over this. but yah.. de other 4/5 guys, it's a pity.

i was rather sad. strangling myself with my shawl. cos i really wonder if there's a conspiracy among de teachers and councillors to make our batch suffer. even till de last min of our jc life. com'on man. it's our prom and we get such shit. they really hate us or wat? sigh.

enough of complaining.

i love de part when we take pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man. i bet i'll miss my frens in yj. miss like hell. i miss em already. those really close ones. sigh. they're de ones that has pull me thru de bad times in yj... and my odac frens~ they are de ones tt left me good mems when we organize our last camp. man..... sighhhh.....
man... my frens my frens!!! i hope pics wont be de last ting u all leave me k? hahaha =)

yup. and we went clubbing aft that! at chinablack. supposedly a NUS bash. hahaha ended up 3/4 of de pple were yjcian~ tis is a good sign!!!! hahaha yj gonna conquer NUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whahahaha i din drink today. jus brainwashed. LOL... ptd joke. anyway>> yeah.. de party was fun. it's fun when u party where u noe de crowd. u jus move everywhere like u own de place. it was one of de few times when u feel really proud being a yjcian~!! and the place was so smoke free!!!! i bet it'll be de one and onli time i'll ever enjoy such clean and smoke free environment while clubbing! it was better air than de coffee bean we went today!!!! rah... i miss last nite. hahaha

i had a great time today as well. =) altho i had bad tummy in de morning and in de afternoon. perhaps it's de mixing of drinks yday... hahaha i jus took wat i could find on de table and drank ~~ got scolded today by boss... say we gers not street smart at all.. he was rite... i overlooked it. hrmm.. good exp earned. =)

told some1 a really big secret of mine today. that till today on 3 of my frens who noes. sigh... think i'll get black mailed by em pretty soon. hahahaha mus treat em well man...

oh yah~ sad sad sad... i jus realise my frens are flying off here and there!!! rah. one on 6th, set on 8th and bear think on 7th~!!!!! i hate tis.sigh. i wanna send em off!!! but de one on 6th cant make it. cos got stupid sat~!!!!
talk about sat test.. i haven study yet.. haben get de book also! rah.. tis is bad. i nid to get em tml... hope there's still some left. sigh.. i dunwan to go buy... no money le... bleai.

sigh.. mr yong passed away... ~~` i dunno wat to say. wasn't particularly closed to him. but made me realised that some things really cant be predicted in life.... someone told me today, neva regret what u do. perhaps it's de same as do things such that u leave no room for regrets. =)

this few days i learnt alot alot alot. more than i'll ever do in ANY classroom.
thankz LKK~

hahaha

cheers.

wr

well..
bad day today.
might haf 2 things tt cause tis.
may be 'a' or 'b'
hahaha
both confidential..
k k
i noe everyone throwin stones at my way... but everyone has some things that cannot be said yeah?
sigh.

i ask him to see my blog, he say i can publish book le. i take that as a compliment.
guess i'm really physically and mentally tired today to think of how i feel today.
hahaha

i'm goin thru yet another phase of change in my life.
as a gemini, tis happens rather frequently ah? but it's qt a drastic on tis time.
today i realise i can walk in town without worrying how pple look at me.
for de first time in my life i learn how to walk with confidence. it's not as tough as i tot... however that me might not last.

i realise not one 'me' lasts. i can be independent, cool, care free on moment and a bloody whiny girlish dependent childish girl de next. .. these changes are starting to make me think i haf split personality... perhaps i've not found who am i yet. hahaha or maybe my characteristics are simply "someone with everchanging characteristics."

k.. i'm starting to confuse myself.
haha

hahaha oh yah.. did i mention that my criteria for husband went up by a few notches. not that i think i haf betta qualities now.. perhaps it's due to de changing me again. hahah.. but one thing is that>> i realise generally guys in singapore will onli show their gentleman gesture towards the gers that their interested in (well some not even) so actually it's not de gerls instincts that's sharp, it's that u all are too obvious. or shld i say generally asian men. hrmm really not very attractive feature. budden again dey might get mistaken for leading de ger(s) on... so... poor guys. hahahahahah

sigh.
i'm not very aware of what i'm typing le...

i'm jus blabbering whateva that comes to my mind. as usual like what bear said.
anyway>> i'm not goin to be famous, and not many pple look at my blog. so if it's understandable can le..
lalalalalalla

oh... realised that during conversations, most of the time everyone is talking.. but not many listens. as in, everyone will wish to talk and share about their exp, their ideas, their views. but not much development on one person's topic. everyone wans to get their fair share of talking and no one is listening. so end up everyone goes home feeling neglected, lonely. like no one in de world understands.

perhaps it's onlie me.

hahaha i'd wish for some one who'd sit down beside me and listen and share all de stuff with me. but in de first place i dunnoe how to say what to say. sigh. i think i'm in a mess. total mess. i nid to pick up de bits and pieces in my life and instead i go ard telling ppl they're losin their focus in life...

well...
i will survive.

i wont lose my determination on de way, even if i lose my way. =)

wr

heh heh~
had a great day today
shld i say, it's a very significant day.
a day that my perspective changes. a day that i learn more than my 10 over years of studying.
=)

shant elaborate too much on wat i did
jus went to alter my gown and check out de manicure thing
and den went to meet my teacher to shop
hahaha
damn funni yah?
nah, had a great time talking to him lah. really taught me alot of stuff thru de conversation we had today
thankz man!

anyway>> was reading a really small book of zen at borders.
amazing .. de content was so .. dynamic? it's even smaller than a handfone. but when u think of wat it says, it's really amazing.
there's sumthing about breaking de illusions of life. not expecting too much, goin with de flow. accepting things as it is.
so many things but i cant rem much lah. sigh. shld haf bot it man... shall go searching for some other bks as well.
k shan't bore u all with my stupid sudden interest....

man.. my stomach is growling like mad! very hungry. yet to haf my dinner... god.. shall i jus haf instant noodles? i think i dun haf much choice anyway hahahahha

well.. nothing much to talk about.. hahahaha cos my stomach is really hungry...
if i'm still online i'll come back and up date again
=)

wr

hey
i got my prom gown today!
hrmm
mus say sorrie to my sis and her bf..
hai my sis not feeling well stil pei wo eh..
heng she felt betta halfway
*sinful*
sigh. still my fam best =)
so i did a nice thing today
hahaha i swpt my house floor today!!!
hahahaha it's been some time man....

anyway>> i love de gown. jus hope i dun look too out of place on de day.. hiak hiak hiak
=)

anyay>> alot of changes of plans. lazy to type

read a book today. chn book. really nice. by wu qing kang. hai cant agree with him more on somethings. ur atitude really changes frm time to time.
today u can be crazy over something. tml u'll be like, why de heck did i like dat in de first place? today u might think loving someone is de thing u're born to do, tml u'll feel u've wasted ur time on de person, love is no longer something that u hold on to so much. sighs. when u're into something, there's no rite or wrong. only aft u get over it, u can look at it seriously, assess de whole situation and wonder wat was wrong with u in de first place.

abit abstract. cos my language not as power. sigh. somethings, some people are born with the talent of writing, of sharing their tots. mine are meant to be kept.

author mention somehting about songs representing a phase in one's life. do i haf any particular songs that come to mind fr time to time? i suppose. i can think of some now. but so? are u goin to live in de memories of de songs, to live in de pass? or move on. i haf to learn to move on. so many things waiting for me to exp out there. i'll move on. =) everyone learn to pick em'self up yah? tt's wat we did when we're a baby. why cant we do it now?

shant act chim le.
my sis and bf bot me a sweater!
=)
they're really very sweet. they're de onli couple i can go out with now... de rest jus too sweet for me.

everyone: i'm allergic to sweetness now. i might sound about ultra sensitive to u. but rest assure i'll jus move away when i sense i cant take it. i mean. i might sound idiotic running away, trying to look hurt broken sad. i'm not. i jus cant stand de sound sight feel of sweetness. jus ignore me man.

=)

life is great
i'm loving it.

wr

hey hey hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm officially out of jc!
wahhahahahahahhahahahahahha

k let's not talk about de phy ppr today...
one word. sux.

anyway>>
wahhahaha bot my prom shoes today!
wahahahhahahahah my sister say it's goin to hurt my feet
but it's so far the nicest pair le lah...

hrmm on my way back my little aunt offered to sponsor me a new gown
so i dun haf to wear my sis's
as much as i think my sis's is nice.. hrmm
dunnoe leh.. shld i get a new one?
i'll go see tml ba....

anyway>> someone jus ask me what's de point of staying together with him aft what i wrote in my blog... i say see how.. and he say's i'm running away from it..
i also dunnoe eh
i'm so undecisive when it comes to relationship.
i really wonder so much about our relationship.
i neva get a satisfied ans. not even when we sit down and talk about it.
i dun think i noe what's a satisfied ans.
am i waiting for a betta guy to come my way? am i waiting for him to change for de betta? am i staying becos i still feel for him? or am i jus staying cos we've come so far, we've gotten so used to each other that might as well jus stay together?
sigh.
i dunnoe.
i dun feel like thinkin about it.
i wonder alot of things.

that day mr goh say, mayb ur bf got another gf outside tht's why he got no time for u.
maybe.
i'm not sure anymore.

am i painting a very bad picture of him here?
i dun mean to.
he's nice.
he think of my when he saw de alpha bear. he bot me de alpha bear. i put it on our photo frame.
he'll say nice things once in a while.
well.. supposedly when we're out .. i think we'll still oke..

=)
shan't think too much.

anyway>> i got company. like he said, we'll haf our own time when we're not together. he say he wont interfere with me and my frens and he dunwan me to interfere...

lallalalala
dunnoe lah. jus fin exams dun tax my brain too much.
anyway>> as much as i write he wont see
as much as he see, he wont change. as much as he change, he wont remain.
so~
no point.

yup!
freedom here i come! hahahhahahah i've got so much to do!
so little time and resources!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no money! no money no money!

any rich guy out there?!
hahahahha rich and old is good!
LOL
yeah..
my sis's is kbing for de comp le
whahahaha
bye la!

love u all!
hugz

cheers

hiak hiak hiak~
i feeling damn guilty.
hahaha
went to set's house's gym and swim eh~ budden hor whahahaa
i eating alot .. very bad..
LOL...
nuthin much happen
jus that i think its damn hard to score for phys now lah..
hahaha
plus i already holiday mood le~
zhe me ban!!!! cannot mus start studying tml... hrmm
i good ger =)
maybe got free japanese dinner nez sat~~ muahahahhaa
i think i damn cheapo lah
but u noe, even sometimes pple wanna treat i also dun gif face one k~
so i still see who's treating
wahhahaa
hrmmm

well
act, when i'm so occupied, i dun really haf a chance to think of alot of stuff..
wahhahaha
so i got nuthin to talk about today~

oh yah
did i mention today is de first time i run on treadmill~
wahhahahaa
interesting.

wahha
i goin to eat le
bye la!

oh yah
mus thank setiawan for de hospitality~
thank yoU~

cheers

jus realise wat i typed in chinese din came out..
mayb it's a good thing..

wanted to write in chn... but realised i shldn't be wasting my time typing hypy..
but.. yeah
anyway>>
was super tired today aft meeting niang niang at mos for some phy revision
wasnt very productive thou...
yup
we left immediately when i spotted the ever famous �讪王。de guy who can talk and seat at any seat no matter who's sitting there and no matter wheter ppl mind or not.

on my way home.. tot about the few reasons that can make me feel like goin home or miss home like mad..
firstly, when i'm super duper tired, physically, mentally wateva. jus hide away from de world in my bed. surrounded by the people that care for me de most out of the dunnoe how many billion zillion ppl in de world.
secondly, when i'm extremely happy or sad. extremely happy cos i wanna share it with my fam. no one can appreciate what i feel for betta than my fam, esp my sister~ muahahhaha i mean my eldest sister, currently she's one of de closest person i am bonded to.. *sadly* muahahha. when i'm sad my fam gif me de best listening ear.. i almost forgot.. when i'm angry~!! hahaha they sympathize with me ze most...

thirdly, when i achieve something, the first thing i'll do is to send an sms home.. thru out tis year, i neva fail to imagine de day when i get my a's result and immediately calling all my fam members to tell them good news, that i've done well and got wat i worked so hard for.. but now it seems it's gonna stay as a dream.. but .. i'lll cont to work hard. cont to do what i can to make them proud of me!

forthly, i'll run home when i nid some space to breathe... from all de pple, rules, and what not that close in on u once in a while... at home i dun haf to pretend, i can joke all i wan and say wat i wanna say. i can be less afraid to offend pple. cos they noe me, they noe how i talk how i act, how harmless i am. wont get misunderstood by my fam.

rite.. sounds like i'm taking full advantage of my fam members yeah? hahaha some more stuff that's even worse.. like taking allowance and asking my mum to da bao lunch back summore whahaha .. this is what fam's for... we shld not be afraid that we are taken advantage of, that even so, even we get grumpy about it. we noe we'll still goin to give in to each other becos we're a family. i love my fam... cant help wondering what wld i haf turn out to be if i weren't born here... hahahaa
muackZ
i love them.

haha yah.. den my tots drift to, my bf shld gif me such a feeling. as mention above, like whenever i'm down and out, he's there for me. vice versa. whenever i get excited over something i can share with him. whenever i haf probs he'll be there to share de burden with me, even if he can onli sit there and listen. get angry with me cos someone bully me, or at least pretend to be. hahaha...
i think i'm still waiting for one person to be lydat~ wah.. den i'll propose to him
wahhaha..

sigh.
i neva fail to wonder, are we wasting our time together? are we jus being together for de sake of staying together? like he said, we've been together for a year plus, got feeling. so what is tis suppose to mean? def he does not fit my criteria for a potential partner...
我现在深深的体会到，什么��∶�先了解自己，了解自己�什么，�能够找到自己的幸�。
i dunno what i want. i'm so afraid tt hist will repeat itself. that i will start to get pissed off when i see him with someone else. then realise that there's actually no prob btw me and him.
prob with me is i haf a very bad memory. i usually dun rem what we quarrel about and all de unhappines..
but de prob btw us is so intangible, i cant pin point it out. but i noe the prob has always been there, coming back to haunt us every now and then. some times we'll quarrel but nuthin ever came out of anything.
也许�观和逃��是一线之差。也许看似�观的我，�会逃�，没有勇气�对问题。没想到我如此懦弱。。。

hai. i really dunno how and what shld i do to get a good solution to all my prob. issit possible to get rid of every single of ur worry? read a quote somewhere, it says 'if one day we wake up and everyone was of a same race, same religion, same color. we'll look for sumthing else to discriminate about.' it applies to our probs as well.. even if u solve some, u'll soon find urself more things to worry bout...

does that means we shldnt solve them?

wr

heylo~!
muahahaha
today went sch to fin mr goh~
hrmmm
had alot of stuff to ask him manZ.. took me one hr to fin..
and it's onli mcq..
how?!

anyway>> can confirm he's not leaving yj nez year le
wahahah yj damn lucky lah
think the phy department will zhen zhen re shang...

hemo hemo
anyway
on my way home.. i suddenly felt super hungry.. as those like jus recover from sickness lydat.. weak kind of hunger..
scary~
den i came home to eat maggie.. sob sob.. so ke lian rite? no body take care is lydat one.. sigh..
den aft i ate i went to sleep!!! totally coma man.. neva sleep so sound since dunnoe when...

talk about sleeping
did i mention i've been getting hrm.. not very nice dreams latelY?
sigh.. think i've been thinking too much lately... cannot run away from reality even in dreams.. who can come help me!!??

sighhh
oh yeahh..
i must do well for phY!!!!!
muahahaha
i think i've said that b4..
but.. haiii sian~
this yr cambridge like not very happy with my batch eh...
dunnoe wat kind of sai ppr will come out....

i've been qt unfeeling lately... shall elaborate nez time..
sigh

13 and counting down to days of liberation..
i hope i can enjoy fully when all these end....

cheers

hrmm
fin 2 subjects yesterday...
i think not very optimistic eh
but i'd rather not think about it..
totally no feeling or mayb i'm hidding from my fears lah...
dun even dare to hear any comments from anyone..
try my best to comfort those who say they're gonna flop..
but jiang lai jiang qu.. only can say, if u think it's tough , others will think it was as well..
but we all noe its not true.. there's bound to be some idert who can surpass everyone and conquer the impossible... damn those iderts lah.. i jus hope that there's not many of those iderts...

moreover, one still haf to consider the fact that one may make stupid mistakes.. haii.. let's not think so much..

oh yeah.. i'm beginning to enjoy my phy revision.. hahaha
find phy damn interesting. yet again. for one period i act lost de touch lah.. now it's coming back.. hopefully it'll stay till my pprs are over...

i got nuthing much to say liao..
starting to haf lose feeling about everything..
jus sit and stare when pprs are over..
wonder if tis is a good sign...
scary~

now i jus hope to step into university..
pleas dun let me disappoint my fam members...

cheers

hahaha this song shows the diff bw females and males..
but hrmm seems to be rather bias huh~ rahhhh
but anyhow.. nice
muahahha
男女之间
曲：黄舒骏 | 词：黄舒骏 | 编：
女人最怕男人是一堆沙猪 男人最怕女人脑袋像浆糊
女人通常都是感情的动物 男人大半都是生活的侏儒
女人可以爱的义无反顾 男人只能爱到相当程度
女人失恋容易另寻出路 男人失恋可就万劫不复
男女之间永远说不清楚 互相厌恶又互相追逐
彼此可以找出千万的错误 却是五十步笑百步
女人对爱要求需索无度 男人总是显得马马虎虎
女人好不容易决定开始 男人却好像刚要结束
女人的泪可以融化冰雪 男人的哭却是山崩地裂
女人的坚强是金石不变 男人的温柔是沧海一粟
女人的胸前是男人的家 男人的肩膀是女人的床
女人希望男人像一棵大树 男人渴望的是精神支柱
男女之间永远说不清楚 互相厌恶又互相追逐
彼此可以找出千万的错误 却是五十步笑百步
女人说谎保证是天衣无缝 男人说谎终究是百密一疏
女人懂得演戏是一种天赋 男人永远败在经验不足
女人认为爱情是一种付出 男人总是把它当作一种征服
女人好不容易决定开始 男人却好像刚要结束
女人好不容易决定开始 男人却好像刚要结束

very nice song.. hahaa very funnie.. try reading de lyrics yeah?
damn cute.

恋爱症候群
曲：黄舒骏 | 词：黄舒骏 | 编：
关于恋爱症候群的发生原因 至今仍然是最大一个谜
不管性别年龄职业体重学历长相和血型 没有一个人可以免疫
有些专家学者研究后相信 恋爱是内分泌失调所引起
却有别人认为恋爱属于滤过性病毒 像感冒无药可救但会自动痊愈
不管你同不同意 自古到今许多例子证明 恋爱不但是一种病态
它还可能是一种变态 一般发病后的初期反应会开始改变一些生活习性
洗澡洗得特别干净 刷牙刷得特别用力 半夜突然爬起来弹钢琴
有人每天站在阳台对路人傻笑 有人突然疯疯癫癫 突然很安静
有人一脸痴呆 对着镜子咬着指甲打喷嚏 有人对着小狗骂三字经
女人突然改变发型 男人开始每天练着哑铃
食欲不振歇斯底里四肢萎缩神经过敏发抖抽筋都出现在这时期
随着病情越来越变本加厉 人会变得格外敏感勇敢和恶心
写的说的唱的都像天才诗人一般才华洋溢 愈肉麻愈觉得有趣
有人恋爱之后每天躲在厕所哭泣 有人开记者会宣布恋爱的消息
有人总是喜欢两个人躲在黑漆漆的地方 像做了不可告人的事情
每天忙着找人算命 挖空心思改变自己 配合对方的习性
把每天都当作纪念日 把自己当作纪念品 每天漫无目的的腻在一起
言不及意也觉得好有趣 走着坐着躺着趴着都形影不离
像是两人三脚又像连体婴 心里想的只有爱你爱你爱你爱你
也不管家里米缸有没有米 也不管路上有人示威抗议 只管爱你
心里想的只有爱你爱你爱你爱你 也不管海峡两岸统一问题
也不管衣索匹亚多少难民 只管爱你 经过一段轰轰烈烈热恋时期
不久就会开始渐渐痊愈 两人开始互相厌倦 互相攻击对方缺点
所有甜蜜都随风而去 然后开始从错觉和误解中清醒 惊讶自己为何如此不聪明
为了爱情不管一切 不顾父母朋友姐妹兄弟 开始感到后悔不已
然后开始感到疲惫沉闷气喘心悸牙痛头痛梦呓
然后是精神不济瞳孔放大脾气暴燥四肢麻痹 终于受不了要分离
虽然结果颇令人伤心 了解之后也没什么了不起 爱情终究是握不住的云
只是我想要告诉你 哦......在我落寞的岁月里 你的温柔解脱我的孤寂
带给我深深的狂喜 如此颤动着我的心灵 轻轻诉说爱你爱你爱你爱你
不管是黑夜或是黎明 不管是梦中或是清醒 深深爱你
我要对你说爱你爱你爱你爱你 不管是黑夜或是黎明 不管是梦中或是清醒
深深爱你 多么幸福 让我遇见你 呜......

it's goin to 4
tml is my a's papers..
i hope i can do it
cos i've been studying
dunnoe if it's adequate thou..
sigh
i goin for a nap soon
and waking up to study
cos i'm really totally sick of econs..
but i nid to do well
so no choice...
i hope i dun blank out tml..

anyway i'm really damn angry with chris.
argh
hrmphf
change bf liao!
idert

well
maybe i'm very unreasonable
but i'm having my exams eh!
wateva man.. i've been trying to calm myself down with chants.. it's actually working
i feel peace..
so peaceful that i feel like sleeping
all thanks to my unker for burning de mp3 for me
whahaha
i'm goin mad

reading some gp stuff
shall cont blogging on thurs..
hate my life.

damn
wr

hey... i'm totally drain of energy
haben been sleeping well since de dat b4 yesterday..
online to check if mdm lee send me anything

talk about lee.. she rather sad case lah
she fell sick and still come back for us..
den talk and talk till she wanna coff to death liaoo..
suddenly i feel bad about disliking her all this while..
sigh..
shall gif her some yan wo if i ever do well for econs
wahhaha
tt's if i do well for econs.. or rather satisfactory for me lah..
sighhh
future damn bleak eh.. how?
k k.. i noe all those out there saying "there we go again..."
but.. i jus cant help it lah...
i still think anything lesser than a's and b's is not good leh
shit man..
i nid to sleep... .. and soon...

btw.. bear told me something about an american prof making analysis of singaporean student.
that they look lifeless as they haf their lunch while de american students haf so much fun while eating their lunch
i made an observation today too!
i realised that adults are also expressionless when they go home from work..
or mayb all de time..
think that lead to everyone talking less in sg and then resulting in lack of ability to express ourselves...
sigh...

anyway..
who cares.

goin to sleep..
cheers.

YOyOYoYoy
i'm online~!!!
wahhahaha
feels like a caveman now eh..
anyhow..
suffered from depression on saturday ..
some how..
i couldnt get to sleep
and couldn't study
so.. totally freak out.

all thankZ to my sweet~ bf for tucking me in on sunday and meeting me for movie
now i feel so much betta~
thank u!!!! muacK
wahahhaa
oh yah
mus comment on his good efforts to send me msges everyday aft my endless complaints that i cannot feel my bf's presence~
thankZ for addressing my complains?
wahhaha k k.. he is now a great bf.. presently~ wahhaha

k k
enough of mushiness...

i went joggin today!!!! erm.. not exactly joggin long long dist
but after being told by 2 teachers i got a green face .. hrmm i think i nid to do abit of exercise and relax a bit.
more over mr woo tell me go walk walk.
so i walk abit faster yah?
anyway>> very bad timing lah
cant jog on de road side during 5 plus
can die of inhaling too much carbon monoxide
i think half my lungs become black liao...
talk about externalities...
muahahaha

finally fin with my International trade..
shall fin my econs topics tml
and read up all essays and all case studies...
den thurs and fri dedicated to my maths..
and meanwhile.. i die die haf to read some phy... all dat i did last time..
if not i think i'll be murdered by goh when i get my results...

hrmmm
tml got bloody gp timepiece
argh
essayz
wat de heck
i feel like sleeping already!
damn...
how?

lalalla
sleeping too much
doin too lil
wahhahaha
think i'll go sleep at 1230 today
shld slowly adjust to 11 befor monday comes..
jus in case i cant sleep again..
rahh
mayb i shld get some sleeping pills..

cant wait for this night mare to be over..
anyway>>
i realise that everytime i jog or walk alone, i tend to think of stuffs that i neva think b4...
cant really express that very well
so shall jus keep em to myself...

anyway>> was wonderin as well.. can someone tell me why toilet bowls haf no handles like what we haf on chairs or rather arm chairs? i mean we are suppose to feel relaxed when we shit yeah?

hrmm signing off~~
sorry for updating so late~
hrmmm
still wondering how to put de tag thingy
any help?

cheers

argh
jus fin hcjc qn 5 part a online
not sending to mdm lee yet
cos i dun think i can fin part two liao
de typing is damn fast
it's de bloody diagram that is killing me

sorta brain dead liao
gotta go sleep man
if not i wont be able to wake up in time for mr goh's make up lesson
i think i'm gonna get screwed tml again~
damn it
11 more days onli...
sigh

oh yah
btw
my sister took away de pass word to ensure i dun come online anymore
so ..
everyone out there
i'll miss all of u
sighhhhh
esp coming online
whahaa

yada yada yada
gd nite

hey heyZ~
hrmmm
starting to haf funnie ppl adding me to their frenster but..
some i dun even say hi to?
hrmm
wonder what are these ppl trying to prove..
that they haf alot of frenz?
i mean.. we're not exactly even acquaintance to start with~
sighhh
and dey add me and tt's it lah
no msg no testimonial. i dun even see de link from them to me.
except my ex class mates is in their class..
~~`

anyway>>
manage to fin 2 macro topics.
nia and money~
goin on to third today and doin another njc essay later..
shall do a maths ppr 2 as well .. i think tml
today mus fin hcjc phy ppr 2 before mr goh slaughter me tml~
damn it manz
counting down = 12 days to a's...
it's really do or die liao~
hrmm
wonder how much i can fin in 12 days...
mus bia maths and econs first man..
sighhh
i fang bu xia phys eh..
how?!
undecisive me...

anyway>> effective kenna ignored by some idert.
i think i fan jian leh...
sigh
some pple jus cant be frens with lah...

hrmmm something jus cropped up in my fam again~
rahh
wat 'good' timing...
wonder when will this end man..

did i mention i dun feel like goin u anymore..
as in...
it's so .. regulated?
u haf to comply to this comply to that..
and there is this bidding for cross fac thing that can drive u crasy..
i'm already so unhappy with rules..
how can i cope with all that nonsense....

they claim that taking cross fac can make one more marketable...
i totally disagree.
how marketable can u be if u learn a subject so superficially and for jus a few mths.
after the term u can totally forget about it and take one sum other thing that is totally unrelated to ur core subjects. and then forget about that in another 6 mths.
i can neva understand how schs or education in singapore works.
moreover, u may not be even interested in de subject and u're taking it cos u're too damn unlucky to failed bidding for de ones u really wanted.
wat the heck~

however.. guess i'm stucked with no where to go. i take onli 3 As, no good in gp, no money to go overseas, no hope for any scholarship.. i damn stuck.it's jus one mistake in my secondary sch life and i'll haf to carry it thru my life..
i think nez time my children will suffer like hell.. cos subconsiously i'll be damn strict with them jus in case they follow in my footsteps..
the onli thing i can do now is to do well and go to bloody local u and suffer for another (hopefullY) 4 years. den come out and fulfil my dreamS!!!!! hiak hiak hiak...
frankly, i still haf no idea what to take.
talk about no goals in life.

argh life.
sighz

hehheh~
cannot resist the temptation to get online yeah?
so shall satisfy my needs before goin back to studyin~!!!
muahaha

went sch for econs initially..
had a break and some visitor wanted to find teacher in charge of student council~
haha
turn out it was for some cheer leading competitioN~
and de lady was very very frenlY~
so ended up talking to her in de canteen instead of goin back for econs lesson~
whahahaha
she's from global association for culture and peace~
vice prez summore~
woah i'm impressed
anyway>> got her card and she's gonna email me bout goin to watch de competition~
sounds damn fun lah de organization
hope its not some hrmm very complicated club~ where pple go for de fun
hrmm and mayb some peace? and international harmony~~
world as a global village..
now now.. where haf i heard tis b4~
whahahaha
gp lah duh!
anyway>> the attractive thing about tis is they go ard de world and play!!!!
as in interact i mean
whahaha
they haf soccer competition, art dance wateva that doest not concern language i think..
as she said.. art and sports is a universal language?
hrmm now this is helping my gp i think~
muahaha

k k
enough of de lady and her club~

think i'm rather mentally worn out~ so mus go take a rest.. and tml got maths tuition~ i'm hoping i dun lost track of time.. cos it's happening now.. i really dunnoe where and which dimension i'm in now.. i'm jus trying to max what i do in de shortest period of time
so
i think it's time i go bathe and haf a wink~

cheers!

wenrong

YoyOyoYoy
jus found a long lost fren
as in he found me on icq~
LOL
it's been a long long while since i talk to him maNzzzz
very happy~

anyway.. realised today i've slack too much
so i wanna fa fen tu qiang liaoooo
dunwan to come online so much liao
5 wks no updates
i think u all can live with that yeah?
whahahaa
i love all my frenz

i go eat liao!!!
ciaoZ

wR

haha today is a happpy day
saw my sec sch clique pple
damn fun
they were decorating siok's house to gif siok a surprise party
as usual... i was late and walking ard de house trying to look busy
not to mention.. occasionally nimbling de food..... muahahahha
my only contribution was to stick de 3 heart shape balloons up de wall
which was rather diff.. wahahha i do more interesting work..
ATE ALOT ALOT ALOT
i'm getting fatter and fatter..
and i cant believe it when they were discussing how fat they were in sioks room..
rahh they are no where near the word fat..
no one is goin to believe that anyway...

lalalalalla
toopid boy jus jog to woodlands back..
hahaha i cannot even reach sembawang lah...
talk about fit. damn it man
i nid to work out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fat fat fat..
it's haunting me!
sighz
read tis some where "god, if u cant make me thinner .. make my frens fatter..."
*evil luff*

i'm so tiredddd
i nid to sleep
but i'm damn full
anyway
tml got tuition again!
wahhaha tat means got cake!
hahah cos siok's bday~
sighh
damn xing fu eh?
dun rem wat hap on my bday liaoo...
bleai...

lalalalalal i hope tml is another okie day...
i jus wanna fin this 5 wks asap..
i miss my life..
wahhahaha
i nid to get it backkkkkk

k k
i got nuthing much to say..
very very tired..
gotta go orh orh liao
BUAI

YoyOyoy
got alot of things to say today...

firstly..
i've went thru a emotional roller coaster ride today...
dat kind really go up and down one..
whahahaha
i had good mood when i woke up
cos toopid boy goin to meet me today.. den he msg me he's sick - translation he is not meeting me today. so i got very sad..
den i went to tuition and had my fair share of oogling at some ac guy with a very very low and sexy voice. .. den everything became fine....

until i couldnt do my maths.. i haf this feeling i'll fail all my a's subject..
tt's failing when i dont do well yah?
so.. broke down at tuition centre.. thou mr yan din see.. rah..
rather embarassing..
felt betta when i was hafin de yu pian mian xian!
hahah not bad.. quite nice...
den walked ard bugis like a trail behind mr yan tis choo choo train head..
he really walk damn fast eh... and
hahah de happy thing is dat he say alot of ppl look at me..
i took it in de positive way.. hrmm or mayb they are thinking "wah.. so fat..."
sigh.. nahh... i look fine...(tryin to convince myself here)
muahah anyway.. i'm happy cos i neva notice tt pple act. look at me before.. given that i'm always surrounded by pretty ladies.. i'm more of de leaf lah...

anyway>>
i met chris.. and felt really mentally tired after i bombarded him with all my troubles...
sorrie dear.. i dunnoe who to tell liao.. i noe sometimes i haf to learn to deal with my troubles.. but i jus nid to get if off my chest.. hrmm feel very bad for adding on to ur burden.. sorrie lah...
den we went marina bay and sat at the mrt station waiting for time tt he shld be in...
by then i can already drift off in a daze as i talk.. i wonder what is happening to me...
boss say i shld see a doct..
anyway i feel really bad about blabbering nonsense and drifting away at him cos he's not feeling well.. and he seldoms sees me.. this worries him and i HAD to do all that jus b4 he went in..
i think he was rather worried.. until he got up de wrong train and was late.. it's damn sweet of him to say it's all his fault.. althou we all noe i'm some how to be blamed.. *grinz*.. (jus saying all this to prove that i dun always JUS say his bad points)
hahaha yah mus biao yang him once in a while..

yup
and now for my 2 cents worth of de day
i realise..
life can be really miserable with expectations..
if things dun turn out de way u expected
u get really sad..
tt's de prob with me..
i think i expect too much...
and i'm afraid i dun reach my expectation..
in de mean time .. i fred about not doin enough to meet em..
i forgot that when i fred about all this.. i wont be able to perform my best..
thus realisin the fact that i dun reach my expectation...

i also realised expectation fr relation ship is not .. hrmm.. very healthy for de relationship...
everyone noes the story about cinderella and de slippers..
anyone actually tot wat the slippers symbolises?
i think it symbolises expectation from partner.. tt's why cinderella is a fairy tale..
i dun think a guy like chris will ever wear de slippers i haf in mind yeah?
and i can neva fit into de cinderella image in his mind..
well...
so..
relationship without expectation.. might not work.. but we'll def be happier yeah?
=)
life without expectation.. i'll haf to rem to put in my best foot everytime..

=)
something worth thinking about yeah?
cheers

had a very bad time jus now..
some how some heat wave hit me and i was so pissed off with everything that is happening.. whether is it the way i breath or de way the moon is tonight...

sighhh
2 wks left...
tell me now why am i online again?
ahhaha
de nearer u are to ur exams ... de more things u do that do not concern ur studies..
rahhhhh i wanna go home...
i wanna go back to when i'm young..
when i was in kindergarden playing rubber bands when the teacher is blabbering..
and i come home to watch cartoon...
mummy!~!!!
i dunwan to be 18 anymore....

i'm down with pms for de moment... will be okie in short while...


yada yada

oh yah!
my ka zhua (cockroach) story continues today!!
ahhahaha
i managed to catch it...
den it was so small that it manage to escape thru a really small hole.. or shld i say slit on de floor..
however it walk right back to where i caught it
and stood there quietly..
maybe it was starting to haf feelings for me
whahahaha
aft all.. i provided a place for it for a few dayZ(considering it's size)
i wonder if it has any siblings nesting ard my table..
yuckZ!
shudders..
let's hope it has lost it's way dat's why it is found near my table..
urggg

my sister jus cooked maggie for me..
now i'm hoping that the myth of eating during dat period of de month will not make one fat.. cos i'm eating alot..
feels like being pregnant huh
wahhaha

hrmm i think i go eat den go do my maths liao
it's really taking too long...

cheers!

hrmm came during 4 plus but de web site abit down
wahhaha
so now come again to update my blog..
ahhh
i think i mus haf said something wrong throughout de month
dunnoe why this few days so suay..
first i fell sick
now i'm struck with a real bad stomach cramp tt refuses to go away
hrmm
perhaps part of it is contributed by the fact that i drank abit of cold drinks yesterday
wahhahaha

hrmmm
managed to run through my mirco econs topics today
and fin a phy ppr 1 from hc..
rather low productivity thou
whaha
goin to start on JI maths ppr once i fin dinner
preparing to go back sch tml to pester some econs teacher for my econs mcq...
hrmm
tt's if my stomach allows lah..

oh yah!!!!!!!!!!!!
happy deepavali!
ni ba ba ma ni
wahhaha
hrmm rather old joke..
*tell tale signs that i'm old and out dated..
wonder wat's de most in thing for pri kids now adays...

saw some cartoon in the afternoon
realised de cartoons are getting really ugly..
wateva happened to the cute cute characters?
even characters in disney cartoon hercules look crooked (as in literally crooked face)
ahhaha there's tis sponge bod square pants cartoon.. damn corney.. a yellow sponge in pants tt's really squarish running ard..
haiZ..
i'm old and useless liao...

hahaha
de more i study de more i think i wont get wat i dream for..
haiiiii damn sad
budden cannot dun study right?
so.. mus ying zhe tou pi.. and study!
study study study..
it's getting interesting lah..
studying
whahahaa
neva imagine i would say that manZzz

please god.. jus let me get into something interesting in my university..
or rather let my results be good enough for me to choose something interesting..
dunwan to be stuck no where being forced into something i dun like...
rahhhh

hahaha wrote a testimonial for chris on frenster..
since he put single..
i wrote "great guy great bod. very entertaining and interesting character.. full of weird actions that cracks one up. single huh? gers wat are u waiting for? ..."
hahaha hope everyone get's the Sacarsm in there... or maybe i wasnt sacarstic enough...

i think i'm getting dreamy eh..
i'm starting to drift away while typing..
wat kind of symptom is tiS?
i think i need help~~

i feel sickkkkkkk
wahhh
i wan a new bf!!!!!!!!!
how nice if u can make and mould ur dream bf into real life
whahaha
i wan a rich and okie looking bf who's always at my beck and call
muahahahahha
*evil luff*
hahaha
ok looking cos lydat more secured...
sighzz
oh yah huh.. our sch got one wat~ SUPER assistant CEO's son
hahaha
but heard got gf liao
lalalallalalalalala

issit possible for ppl not to sleep?
i think sleeping is a waste of time eh..
hahahaha
gp qn>> is there a real nid for 25th hour...
sigh
one observation lately..
everyone is complaining everyone else is a waste of time
budden from what they are doin.. they are not fully utilising their time..
like me..
i'm online now complaining i haf not enough time..
so is there a real nid for the 25th hour?
or people are not using their time properly...

frenster is getting cranky...
i'm not allowed to add my frenz.. is it alright?
hrmm
i wanna go chalet!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna go enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna laze ard at mos with niang niang and talk about nuthing at all!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna go shopping (even thou i dun really shop)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna to go to the zoo!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna go tanning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanna ... wanna.. fin my exams and feel that i can do well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahhahaha

so this two weeks is bloody important..
there fore.. i'm goin off to eat and to complete my ji ppr asap.

wenrong signing off.. till nez time.. same time same channel.
here's a song from linkin' park - somewhere i belong..
cheers

waHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i'm super guilty stricken now (wonder wat de heck am i doin online)
anyway>>
arhghhh
i wasted de bloody afternoon away
shit
i'm one step further from my dream of taking my result on stage
tmd!
arghh
anyway
stupid cockroach came to disturb me when i was writing my econs essay jus now
wahhh small but irritating
now i haf my shieldtox, container (to catch de ka zhua) and newspaper by de side
jus in case it strikes again..
skali later the mother comes as well
argh
damn
anyway
i very angry tis morning@
cos my stupid econs teacher was wasting my morning away
shan't elaborate cos i dun haf the time

i'm feeling de heat of the competition liao man
some idiot can actually finish 4 sch pprs in 2 days
and some already fin 11 jc's prelims ppr
damn scary
wat de hck am i doing?!!!!
damn it manzz
i think to get a for maths is like getting 90 and above liao
wat kind of marks is that?!
rahh
getting really very insecured.
not to mention my econs is like sai

arghh
i'm so panicky
i dun think i can sleep well tonight!

and my stupid idert stomach cramp!!!
sighzzz
chinese sayin: wu lou pian feng lian ye yu..
attic already got hole, still rain de whole night
wat de helllllll

my life is goin down hill..
tis 6 wks is hell man!

anyway>> my bf is making an attempt to msg me everynight
and he is saying i shld comment him on his effort
whahaha
stupid boy!
still cannot believe he put single in frenster
wat is tis man..
dun respect me at all can?
sighzz
big idiotic pig!
anyway>> can see him on fridAY!
deepavali!
hopefully i can fin wat i wanna fin before fri

ahhhhh
tml got gp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as in a test like ppr..
dunnoe how am i goin to do if i'm goin to sleep late tonite
wahhh
i nid more time!!
shld sleep less man
pig xia
no more story books!!!
rahh
k k

btw>> really hot tis few days huh
sigh
talk about hellish environment...

cheers