Last June, my mom, the kids and I were heading north for a week or so while we were getting new flooring in our house. The freeway was closed for 2 or 3 hours because a fancy schmancy air show had to practice their fancy schmancy routines. (Seriously? You can make a WHOLE freeway close for an air show practice? Yep, apparently.)
Anyway, we decided to stop at the Visitors' Center for the Idaho Falls Temple while we waited for the freeway to open. They had extra copies of past issues of the Church's children's magazine
The Friend. I thought I'd grab one for Tyler. It wasn't until I read
this article that I realized how much the magazine was really meant for me. (It was no coincidence that I grabbed
that particular issue because I believe there
are no coincidences!)
In a nutshell, the article is about a little boy who doesn't want to go to school because it's hard. His mom helps him see that what may be hard now will eventually become easier for him. She reassures him that he can do hard things.
Even in its simplicity, it touched my heart. I. Can. Do. Hard. Things.
And as life unfolded for me as the mom of 3 kids born within 25 months of each other, I've had to tell myself those exact words many times.
Emily and Megan are now 8 months old and I think I can finally say that things are getting easier. (Not easy, just easi-ER!) It is true: I CAN DO HARD THINGS! But only with a lot of help from Heaven and from earthly angels around me.
Here is how we've been able to survive.
1. Bottle feeding. I know breastfeeding is ideal, and I thought I'd give it a try when the girls were born. But the girls hadn't even been alive for 24 hours when the Spirit basically told me, "Don't even go there." It was such a relief. I know that is not the answer for everyone, but it was the answer for me.
It has been so nice to be able to have others help feed the girls. And can I tell you how "free" I feel now that the girls can hold their own bottles? Love it! (Especially in the middle of the night. I can just make up a bottle, hand it to one of the babies in their crib and head back to bed.)
2. Help from my mom. My mom was SO wonderful to come and help after we moved and the babies were born. She not only helped with the girls, but she was everything to Tyler. (He really didn't want to have much to do with me after coming home to a new house and 2 new sisters.)
Mom was "chief handy woman" when it came to all the repairs our "new" house needed. She was also chief box organizer as we started to unpack all of our boxes after moving.
Mom took a baby each night so I would only have to get up with one baby.
It was a sad day to see her leave when the girls were 9 weeks old. That is when I REALLY learned that I can do hard things!
3. Car seat naps. I know babies aren't supposed to spend much time in their car seats, but the girls just wouldn't take naps any other way when they were first born. They needed to sleep and I needed them to sleep. It worked out great.
4. "Doo dads." When I needed free hands, the bouncers and swings were so nice.
5. Juggling hands. There were some days I seriously wished I was an octopus and had 8 hands.
6. Letting go. Sometimes the house looked like this and that was OK. And sometimes Tyler watched WAY too many DVDs, and that was OK too.
7. Perspective. When things were, and still are, overwhelming (usually when all 3 kids are crying at once!), I remember that I felt equally overwhelmed being a teacher. There were times when I didn't know how I could keep up with EVERY child in math and reading and writing and spelling, etc. and then find time to do all the planning and the correcting, etc. on top of that. But I survived and I learned coping skills along the way (you just can't stress about some things.) And I learned that nothing lasts forever.
I can hardly believe that the girls have gone from this
to this so quickly.
8. Past experience with hard things. In October I went to a missionary reunion with my mission president, his wife and some of the missionaries who served together more than 16 years ago. When Pres. Haws found out I had twins and a 2 year old he asked how I did it. And I told him, "I can do hard things. I KNOW that because I served a mission."
My mission was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We spent days and days in the hot, humid summer or the cold, humid winters trying to find those who were interested in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. We had very little success, at least outwardly. But "inwardly" (is that even a word?) I was finding out what I was made of. I found out I COULD work long days only to get up and start it all over again. I found out I COULD get along with all kinds of companions AND learn to speak a foreign language one day at a time. I found out that Heavenly Father knows ME and will help me get through hard times.
Missionaries 1994 (Before a soccer game)
Hot mommas 2010
9. One fabulous husband. Darrell is such a great dad! After my mom left, he took a baby each night for the next 2 1/2 months until the girls moved into their cribs so that I would only have to get up with one twin each night. Even now he gets up on the weekends with the girls and allows me to sleep. He also gives the kids their baths and makes it possible for me to relax a little at the end of each day. I am so blessed!
10. Spiritual guidance. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost that speaks peace to my heart and whispers to my mind the little things that I need to hear to be a better mom, wife and person. One such experience was a thought that came to my mind about a children's book series I read when I was little.
I hadn't thought about the Betsy and Tacy books for a long, long time. But at that moment, I wanted to head to the library and check them out to remember why I loved them so long ago.
That first trip to the library was just what I needed. Since then I have started reading books each night and I have loved getting back into good books. I look forward to the end of the day and I get the "release" I need to unwind and get ready to start over the next day.
Now, some may say it is a coincidence that I just happened to think about a long-forgotten series, but I don't think that is the case. I believe a loving Heavenly Father knew what I (little ol' Debbie) needed in my life to give me a mental boost each day. He loves me that much. He loves each of us that much.
And that, my friends, is how I can do hard things.
