My Sunshines

WHAT? It seems that things tragic either happen in slow motion or too quickly and vaguely to even realize what is going on. I'm not sure which is better but the latter happened to me recently. June 5th to be exact. I won't go into details (for your benefit, not that I mind), but after a series of events, tests, and a doctor's visit, it was determined that I had suffered a miscarriage. I was 6 weeks along. Did I mention I had surgery to block my tubes over 5 years ago? Yeah. And I had nothing to worry about for over 5 years. But things can change, and they did. The medical term is "failed tubal obstruction". Ya don't say? What I had suspected was confirmed by my doctor. I wasn't even sure how to feel because my mind was so far from this situation ever happening again, the situation meaning pregnancy. Last time I became pregnant I was planning it, taking vitamins, preparing my body to house another body (or 2) for the next 9 months, but this time, I wasn...

After my last blog post, I had numerous people text, call, email, and mention to me in person that the post had helped them with their personal experiences with depression and anxiety. It even encouraged a few people to seek treatment for issues that they had, to that point, been too ashamed or too hesitant to seek help for. My goal in writing the post was to help others cope with a subject that most people do not wish to speak about. I told myself that if I helped even ONE person, it was worth it and that I would continue to write on other subjects that not many people wish to speak of but that many people can benefit from or may be dealing with.  I strive to be a "real" person and do not have any intention to present myself as someone I am not, which is why I am passionate about writing and getting my opinion out there to the world. If more people would be real, stop trying to impress others, and speak openly about their struggles, we could all relate to each other and e...

It happened exactly 3 years ago. I woke up crying. I never cry. I went on about my morning with my two 4 year olds at home. Made breakfast, brushed teeth, all the usual. But I couldn't stop crying. "Mommy, why are you crying?" I heard over and over. They had never seen me cry. All I could say was, "I don't know." My heart was racing, I had a sense of confusion all around me. I didn't know what was going on. I called Brandon at work, still crying. "Come home. I'm really upset and I don't know why." Considering the fact that I literally NEVER cried, he knew it was a big deal and came home right away. My mother in law came and got the kids. And I kept crying. The soonest I could get in to my psychiatrist was around 4:30pm that day. So Brandon stayed with me all day and then took me in. Now let me backtrack. I've been seeing a psychiatrist since I was 18. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 18. I've been on psyc...

....builds the house. We are moving in NEXT MONTH!! The first pics are of the model home - we are building the exact same one. And the last pic is the progress so far. Sweet girl in front of the model home    Hutch's room in the model    Anniston's room in the model   House as of October 1st

What is crazier than moving? Moving twice! We searched high and low and decided which neighborhood we wanted to live in but didn't find a house that suited our needs, so we decided to build one. It will not be ready until early November and we closed on our house at the end of July. Soooooo, we are now living with my parents. Here is the progress so far.... Nice huh?? JK :) They are supposed to break ground this coming week. We shall see.......

This summer has already proved to be busy, busy, busy. After 6 months of trying to keep the house clean and making it appear that no one lived here, we finally have a contract on our house and are in the process of building another. In the meantime, back home to my parent's house I go, with 3 extras!! It will be a crazy few months, with my sister's wedding being in the midst of the move, but will be well worth the wait! At least I think so. My sister will also be living there until the wedding so it will be a FULL HOUSE!!! Anniston recently got her ears pierced and is SO girly! She puts on her "makeup" every day, brushes her hair, picks out her clothes, and puts in a clip or headband. All by herself. She wants to wear neclaces and rings. I asked her if she wanted to play softball when she got older and she said, "NO! Ballet!". Well OK then. Hutch is slightly obsessed with Spiderman right now. Too bad he is too young to go see the new movie. We've seen ...