Last day of 2012 and the yearly ritual of recap for the year!
This year, I'm doing this in a water chalet at Avillion Resort (Port Dickson) and I've just watched the sun set for the last time this year. I'm on a day bed with my daughter (YES! My daughter!). While I'm typing away, she's making all sorts of cooing sounds at the side, entertaining herself with her fingers and 'grrrrrr' sounds. She looks over to me and returns my smile. The peace is sometimes disturbed by the soft purring snore of the hubs who took the wheel this early morning.
No doubt the biggest event of the year is her arrival and thus my entering to motherhood.
I had many things to complain and grumble about but I simply love how our brain functions - choosing only the pleasant to remember and therefore this year's entry will be one to count my blessings and take note of the wonderful things that happened in 2012.
- Smooth pregnancy
- Delayed honeymoon to New York
- Safe delivery of baby Shyan
- Maiden family (of 3!) time in Athens/Santorini
- Understanding boss who permitted the long leave for extra quality time with Shyan
- Wonderful parents and in-laws who are ever so willing to accommodate and help out
- Supportive siblings sharing their experience in child bringing
- Great friends who stayed by my side (figuratively) despite my absence and 'auntie-sization'
- "Completion" of stanchart marathon (making the last of my 3 goals by 30 years old complete)
[3 goals: 1) Afford a rolex; 2) have a baby; 3) complete a marathon]
- New Year countdown at Port Dickson (+ quality family time!)
Hope 2013 will be an even better year!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
End of my SAHM career
Soon, very soon (13 days to exact), my short stint of a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) career would have ended. Excluding the 2 weeks of leave before Shyan's birth, I would have had a 19-week full-time job as a Mom by the time I go back to work on Jan 7th. I feel fortunate to have been able to have this time with Shyan, though I certainly will not mind if they really changed the policy to a 6-mth maternity leave.
Life as a SAHM is simple. There is really only one purpose and goal - look after Shyan well. What this goal encompasses is not a lot either; if you count, there are only two items -
1) feeding her well (latch-on, pump milk, wash bottles/pump parts, make sure I'm eating well so that the breast milk I'm feeding her is nutritious enough,)
2) make sure she's clean (bathe and diaper changing)
but in order to accomplish them, I am left with two injured wrists, backache and panda eyes.
There is no scorecard too, no KPI. No bonus, no increment, no salary. I realize it's a conscience thing. There was this one night when she was crying. I was sleep deprived and did not know what she wanted and I said some things to her angrily (it doesn't really matter what you say since babies don't understand; they only recognize the tone of voice). I can't remember how that particular night ended but I remember the guilt I felt the next morning. There is no reason to be harsh to a 1-mth plus baby! What this translates to is having to think through every little action and word, fearing the sense of guilt for losing my temper or worse, displaying bad behavior (in case she follows).
Simple management rules tell you - without measurable results and compensation, nobody will enjoy what they are doing or be motivated to do their best. Am I motivated to do my best? Surprisingly, yes. Did I enjoy it? Amazingly, I sure did.
Perhaps the compensation in this case is -
* a simple smile or an occasional cackle which is as valuable as your pay-check.
* the satisfaction when you see her outgrowing her clothes or her responding to you when you call her name
* the autonomy of having no boss
又或许这就是传说中的母爱。
Regardless, I'm treasuring this time with her, knowing I will not never have this amount of quality time with her once this leave is over.
Life as a SAHM is simple. There is really only one purpose and goal - look after Shyan well. What this goal encompasses is not a lot either; if you count, there are only two items -
1) feeding her well (latch-on, pump milk, wash bottles/pump parts, make sure I'm eating well so that the breast milk I'm feeding her is nutritious enough,)
2) make sure she's clean (bathe and diaper changing)
but in order to accomplish them, I am left with two injured wrists, backache and panda eyes.
There is no scorecard too, no KPI. No bonus, no increment, no salary. I realize it's a conscience thing. There was this one night when she was crying. I was sleep deprived and did not know what she wanted and I said some things to her angrily (it doesn't really matter what you say since babies don't understand; they only recognize the tone of voice). I can't remember how that particular night ended but I remember the guilt I felt the next morning. There is no reason to be harsh to a 1-mth plus baby! What this translates to is having to think through every little action and word, fearing the sense of guilt for losing my temper or worse, displaying bad behavior (in case she follows).
Simple management rules tell you - without measurable results and compensation, nobody will enjoy what they are doing or be motivated to do their best. Am I motivated to do my best? Surprisingly, yes. Did I enjoy it? Amazingly, I sure did.
Perhaps the compensation in this case is -
* a simple smile or an occasional cackle which is as valuable as your pay-check.
* the satisfaction when you see her outgrowing her clothes or her responding to you when you call her name
* the autonomy of having no boss
又或许这就是传说中的母爱。
Regardless, I'm treasuring this time with her, knowing I will not never have this amount of quality time with her once this leave is over.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)