okay it ends here.

this post is dedicated to my parents who kept finding my blog time after time.

you are right. i should not post things online that i do not want others to read. so this means i am moving, and for good.

oweek has been a blast so far, and i won't ever regret my participation. maybe i'd regret other things that i should have done as clan head or ogl; but there are two more days to go and hopefully they'd turn out to be even better.

it's been a good five years here at waterwaltz where i've faithfully recorded (almost) every event and all the ups and downs in my life.

but everything ends somewhere, and this blog ends here.

i don't know if i'll ever set up another blog again, but if i do, those who deserve to know will surely do.

(this reminds me of news of the world less the scandal.)

if there's nothing else, goodbye.

moving on..

this entry is password protected.

in other words, if you manage to get my username and password, you may access this entry.

passion vs lunch.

German 2 (LAG2201) is giving me a headache. it's either i brush up my german further before i go over to germany, possibly to some extent at the expense of my other modules, or i can have a two-hour lunch break on thursdays.

this is a tough decision to make, although i know i will choose german.

today's the last day of june and 2011 is half over! this year was more awesome than last for various reasons - pcb trip, better grades and less 'meaningless' slog. i doubt i'm less busy than before, but the things i occupy myself with now are definitely more interesting.

song of the month for june is so incredibly good that i listen to it every night before i sleep. kind of like the national anthem, only better. recently i felt so much flagging patriotism that i decided to cancel my subscription to pioneer. LOL.

although this is the first chinese song of the month, it definitely ranks right up there with all the old classics before. the theme song for the phuket trip came close for this one, but it just cannot compare to good old emil chau.

inspired by his concert performance and subsequently this MV, i decided to start training on my recorder again.

and here is the song:

happy listening! i always feel happy after listening to it. haven't got sick of it although it's been in my ears on a daily basis for a month now. 雨人 ftw!

holidays half gone.

i feel lazy, yet obliged to blog, since the last post was close to two weeks ago.

phuket was good. the pictures on facebook say it all. in fact it was more than just good - it was heavenly. i managed to not check my mail/facebook at all these six days, and that is always good. to add to that, i lost my hp. that gave me six days in the wilderness and i enjoyed myself a lot.

back to singapore - country without a ling hun. i barely had two days of unpacking and settling down when i got thrown into FOC. now the thing about camps is that it is almost as if you are entering another world. this one was full of high energy and little sleep.

i amassed ten hours throughout the whole duration, so no prizes for guessing who slept twelve hours on friday. i also managed to get my first clubbing experience (though yuk says it doesn't count), and my first emceeing experience along with it.

not something i asked for, but it went along pretty okay because everyone was high. the sound system was like shit though. never go to soul in odeon towers if you want your event to be nice and loud.

then i kinda suffered from a hangover in the past few days because my house was undergoing renovation and i woke up in the afternoon all the way so there wasn't much impetus to do anything. i give tuition, i pack my stuff, i go on facebook, and that's pretty much my life now.

next week is the first week that i get away from all these. no work, no camp, no nothing. now i hope i do something productive haha, usually too much to ask for of myself.

last night i discovered something real schweeeeeet, and it makes failing dalf c2 and all the bad things in the world in recent times worth it. of course they are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but heck, i'll take whatever i can in this messed up place.

mq's flight back is today. sunday swimming + soccer later. ALL GOOD.

relief.

no one probably has as good an idea as i have about how i relieved i am going to phuket. this is more than a PCB holiday, this is an escape from reality altogether. okay so i actually am causing all the stress i am heaping upon myself, now what's stopping me from getting rid of it?

BYE SINGAPORE! you suck.

life in a bottle.

i decided to post this because i'm sunburnt, sitting in my work clothes for longer than i should, and stuck in front of my laptop again.

this post is going to be full of random crap.

yuk called me at about two minutes to six today, saying he was waving from the infinity pool at marina bay sands. i walked over to look for a figure waving his hand, but sadly everything looked like specks from afar. i really wished i was up there.

the phone conversation ended when i realised i wasn't going anywhere. six o' clock. time to check utopia and make my way home.

throughout work today, i had a taste of finance fatigue. having just started the week on a wednesday, i guess you could say i was fresh and all ready to charge. however, i was soon affected by my surroundings and lapsed into lepak mode.

it got me thinking. despite complaining being quite a fun thing to do (at least for me), to do it everyday while ploughing through work doesn't seem much fun. then i thought about my studies.

i think you would probably recall how i slam people with high expectations. the unfortunate truth is that i suffer from it most times too, as much as i try to eschew them. when i don't get my scholarship or higher than a B+ which i most definitely should have got for biz comm, i whine and bitch like i deserve it.

speaking of which, i really do deserve it. nobody should have stood in my way, much less a self-righteous english teacher who contradicted herself frequently with her imbalanced judgments on the nuances of the language. prude. i despise you.

yet when others complain, i try to tell them that it is one step too far, one expectation too high. it's pretty hard to reconcile why. nonetheless, i won't stop my efforts in lowering expectations and working harder. it's so easy for most to say "okay results still lousy - fuck it", but can we REALLY fuck it?

truth is, these guys go home with a silent resolve to work harder.

and we never get enough of good things, that is eternally true.

we all know the case study of my friend m___ (wow guess who??) who incidentally was in dean's list for the first sem with a sky high cap. that sort of cap was always dangerous because there wasn't (realistically) anywhere else to go but down.

so he went down this sem. my justification was that he should be happy anyway because the situation could have been reversed, and having his sem 1 cap in sem 2 + vice versa would cost him a lot of things.

BUT upon reflection, i realised i would have been just as pissed if i were him. so his angst or disappointment, in line with the theory that everyone expects more anyway, is in a way justified. simply put, i thought that i would feel the same.

since i didn't experience that drop, i suppose i'm still pretty happy overall, and that i would die tomorrow with no regrets. now that's a very loaded and dangerous thing to say, and if i were to post this on facebook i have no doubt everyone will come in with raised eyebrows.

and of course phang and gang would then come and question my source of happiness when i never had, or more importantly, don't have a girlfriend.

i guess i've learnt to see past that. i need to learn how to take it easy and stop planning everything ten years in advance. past experience has taught me a lot, probably more than i want to learn but since i didn't have a choice i learnt it anyway.

now is the time to do it king jing style and say 'fuck it'. if i were to stay single i won't be the first and won't be the last.

man, am i on a roll or what.

girls are more of a hot topic nowadays than in the past. i know of people whom i don't need to name but they should already know (and whom perhaps i have ALREADY named) who cannot seem to get them out of any given random conversation.

back to sec 4. could we ever see beyond waterpolo trainings and maths assignments? more mature people might have, but i certainly did not. (i think the violent basketball helped a lot.) we talked about computer games and navy seals. that was enough.

when we went to JC i believe most of PCB were still complaining about studies and how RJ was a bitch compared to the good ol' days in RI. and i can't remember if we were still playing computer games, but that was enough.

nowadays, the change in conversation topics mirrors the changes in our lives - and unfortunately it is not something i am looking forward to. call me unprogressive, because that is what i am. to me if it ain't broke don't fix it and if it's broke, make gradual changes.

shit now i'm starting to sound like a politician.

forget it, all these are random ramblings. for all the crap i am posting, i am going back to bain tomorrow and slogging my arse off once again. i alt-tab when someone walks by and i go to the pantry every two hours.

BUT. the thought of PHUKET~ on sunday is a whole different prospect altogether! now that is something to REALLY look forward to.

btw a good recommendation by goon. thailand truly has got talent, i say.



enjoy. but be careful before you fall in love.

life is full of surprises, they say.

never underestimate sleep.

i'm not the hyperactive type that can survive on no sleep. but comparing with the national average, i probably require less sleep than the normal person, being able to survive on 5-6 hours a day.

and i just had 13. it never felt any better. this should be the longest duration i've ever had.

the past three days were spent in NUS, being part of the organisation at NUS Business Case Championship (NBCC). or wait, did i say part of the organisation? i was a full time slave warrior. although it was sometimes fun, it got really exasperating at some points in time.

nonetheless, whatever.

first day was kinda crazy because we went to camp on the back of very little sleep. i almost thought i'd fall asleep in my formal attire listening to talks but LUCKILY it didn't last very long. we changed up and got to play orientation games.

i felt like a freshie all over again. oh well. at night, when the case started proper, the real fun began because we had so much time on our hands - and at least we weren't made to do freshie stuff. even had time for a marketing study which paid us a handsome $5. life was good.

so the second day was pretty chill. last day was a mad rush in comparison. and even though i wasn't really thinking of 'making friends' whatsoever, the jc kids were pretty nice to talk to. that was a major surprise because at this level you'd think there's a generation gap between you and them.

or maybe there was, but it didn't matter. i think networking is so totally not my style, because i felt it was so much more enjoyable talking to jc kids (shit too used to this term) than the judges?? i think i'll sorely miss uni life once i go out to work. not gerd!

then that's all. the camp ended as abruptly as it started, and now i'm back to civilian life. not that it's a bad thing, you know, going back to normalcy. 13 hours of sleep is proof of that. i still have two other camps to go and wow, next sem is gonna be real busy.

k bye.