As far as I can recall, In my entire career with the Singapore Armed Forces as an Officer, I have NEVER punished anyone with anything more than simple push-ups, and the only time I ever gave anyone push-ups was simply to tune my recruits into the regimental caged mentality (I'm not a saddist but this is an organisational requirement), hahaha....

But just two days ago I the words "GO SIGN SEVEN" were brinking at the end of my lips, and the story goes like this:

About a month back some new clerk posted into my branch, and I learnt that he was PES E (for the benefit of non-military personnel - basically means they cannot do anything other than office work), and had only gone through a 1 week super-reduced BMT (basic Military Training).

As a Not-So-Pro-SAF Officer, I decided it was best for me to introduce this newcomer to our branch, and to make sure that he is not too overwhelmed by the big ranks and stuff. My briefing basically consisted of how my branch, and the residents of the premises are generally less regimental and that if you get your work done, it would be well appreciated, with certain examples drawn from the other guys in the branch.

I realised I made the biggest mistake right there...

1 DAY Later... 1 DAY ONLY.... this guy started to show bits of his colours... beneath the withdrawn, demure front, an extremely talkative and rather obnoxious. "Oh well... " i thought "Perhaps its just his nature to be a little louder". And since I personally am proud to be a person of considerable attitude, I was pretty much able to accept a similar.

But as the days gone by... it seems as if our good friend is not really just holding an attitude, but perhaps, he has no idea whatsoever of what exactly is the army, and what is military discipline.

Just 2 days ago this was the conversation between PTE Obnoxious and LTA Myself:

(I returned to my table after a fag and discovered a humungous monitor taking the place of my documents and notebook, and I knew it was PTE Obnoxious who placed it there out of convenience)

Me: "Obnoxious, could you please shift the monitor elsewhere?"

PTE Obnoxious: "The monitor don't put here put where?!"

(I was a little pissed here, so my answer went) - "Well if you put it here does that mean I do not need to work?! Please shift the monitor away ASAP, thank you."

I then continued to the other end of the office to do some filing of documents. When I returned THE MONITOR WAS STILL THERE! And PTE OBNOXIOUS WAS NOT THERE! (Do note that I took pretty long to file my documents, so approximately 15 minutes have passed since my instructions to shift the monitor was passed)

Fury started to boil from within, and the thoughts running through my head then flowed in such a manner: "I think our friend here does not know what an order means, neither does he know who the hell he is fucking around with. has my smiles made him forget my rank, and then maybe he never had regard for it anyways since he was born into the army as a PES E fart who had never gone through no shit".

I called for a certain lady in the office who took change of the movement of clerks to enquire about PTE Obnoxious, and even she does not know where he dissapeared too (considering she is quite strict with clerk movement).

Just as the words "You can tell him to sign 7 when he gets back!" were on the verge of being lashed out, PTE Obnoxious returned from nowhere, and as I signalled to him in a rather displeased manner, hastily moved the monitor out of my sight.

I promptly withdrew the words, and saved this prick of having 7 weekends burnt. Am I being too lenient? Let him continue to think that way.... we shall see in due time, heheh...

Just over lunch today one of my colleagues popped this question in my face. A simple question to many, yet somehow I found the answer.... errr... more like I found out I didn't really know the answer.

Just about a year ago during the period between the good and not-so-good times I found myself pretty much surrounded by flocks, and then I was having quite a bit of difficulty with my pick, but it never really dawned on me that somebody like me, without a girlfriend, presents a rather weird, and even disturbing notion.

Even my mum, MY MUM was hinting that I should find a girlfriend, and that therein lies the possibility of me finding my purpose in life, but wait! That's not the best part...

I was entertaining this really chatty taxi driver today, and as we were exchanging bits and pieces of our life stories, he asked the same damn question, and even better... he helped me give an answer by concluding that I am GAY!

Is it really such an abnormality? I'm not the only single guy around anyways... plus when it comes it comes, if it doesn't there's no point "YING4 - YING4 - LAI2" as quoted from a friend of mine.

Counting all the way back to September last year, when I was preparing for Carnival@Marina, to February this year, when I moved over the Division HQ to contribute to the EXCO efforts, till yesterday, when everything came to an end, and frankly, quite an abrupt end.

Though most good things, busy things, and crappy things must eventually conclude, I really cannot fathom that all these months have passed, and next week, I will be taking down all the banners and posters that I have put up over the island (of course with the help of my beloved teammates).

So it is all over, and soon the team shall be moving in their various individual directions... some to ORD, some to other camps, some swapped internally... And now that everything has ended... I really don't find any happiness within... WHY?

Today is just overwhelmingly exciting

The day started off with the usual drag of pulling your feet out of bed and head out of slumber land. Thank the high heavens for the dry weather, and the rest of the city dwellers for the intoxicatingly stuffy atmosphere and incessant traffic, I succeeded barely in getting out of bed. Just as I left the door, I had to thank the high heavens again, for cooling up the place with a few drops of morning drizzle.

The welcoming drizzle soon started to get on my nerves, as I stood by the road (Upper Serangoon Road), and tried frantically to get a cab. Time got by, 5mins, 10mins, 15mins, the taxis that appeared got less and less, while the H2O falling from the sky got more and more. In my desperation to get a cab before the rain turns me to the equivalent of that rapidly accumulating puddle by the walkway, I started racing up and down the road (the action was similar to the shuttle run sequence in BMT circuit trainings).

Apparently my queer movement patterns folded as a failed attempt to attract any taxi drivers (they probably did not want a lunatic passenger who might pull out a spoon to threaten them halfway thru the trip). It did, however, attracted an inquisitive passer-by, who came up and politely gestured for me to keep off the edge of the road. Well, the passer-by is, of course, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Policeman...

As Mr Policeman left, a thought struck my mind... the ancient, all effective formula for getting a cab. It has never failed me. It always works, always - Pull out a cigarette, light it, and start puffing.... puff..... 2 puffs.... "ahhhhhh...... look what we have here - a cab!!!" This is god's way of punishing those who smoke.

And so, I arrive at Tan Tock Seng Hospital, 5 minutes before my appointment. Luck was not so good, I didn't meet any hot interns as I did during the heart scan, nor did I have any young nurse waiting upon me. But I did get what I want - My Test Results; Positive Test Results for my Slip Disc! That means I can be downgraded at last, and not be posted to miserable OCS as a no-life instructor.

I return to camp... it is 1230 hrs

First thing that greets me - My boss is dressed like some gas delivery man, getting ready to go home!

I walk up the stairs - My Big Boss is dressed like Darth Vader, getting ready to leave for outer space!

I enter the office - There are 3 clerks, 3 out of the close to 20 clerks we have in the branch. Two were on internet, and one was struggling to learn C&C Generals - Zero Hour.

I sat in boredom for 3 hours, keying in my taxi claims and chasing some contractor for some commemorative polo tee.

I leave the office at 1500hrs...

I arrive at Tiong Bahru Plaza, to pick up my NDP pass from my friend, whom out of a purely magnimous gesture, decided to safe-keep my pass for me. He successfully persuaded me, after meeting up, that he should send me home, so that I may rest for 2 hours before going down to the Carnival@Marina... 5 mins... 10mins.... I succumb to his irresistible offer.

I reach home at 1900hrs... I GET THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE!

My brother is chatting away with 3 strangers. Two seem his age, so perhaps they are his classmates or something, but as I toggle my visual to the extreme left, I realise the old fat man can't possibly be his classmate. The answer came as intuitively as it should be, it's my fourth uncle and my two cousins, whom I have not met for a period i distinctively remember not to remember.

Ah it's so nice to meet up with relatives you have not met for donkey years, the grouchy little girl is now a blossoming cherry in some JC, and the quirky little boy now speaks in flat-pitch monotone.

The discussion soon diverges into 2 groups, with the kids talking about... errr... I don't remember paying attention to what they were talking about, and me and my uncle having a debate, no actually it was more like a one sided lecture, of entrepreneurship.

As all imposing old folks from Traditional, Hierarchical, CHINESE Families would start when it comes to such a topic: "Don't think of doing business lah! It was a stupid choice for you to forsake your university education! Do you think doing business is easy? I am a businessman myself, and do you know how many people fail to even get past startup? Why? Because they do not have a solid financial backing! Only people who have a solid financial backing can afford to pay the cost while the business slowly takes off. You young people just think making money is very easy!"

I nod and listen, occasionally trying to bring up some opinion in between the near-to-fits ranting of "Advice" my uncle had to hurl at me, and now, this is what I have to say:

1) "Don't think of doing business lah!"

I do not, and would not think of questioning the credibility of your advice, though from the tone and description of your sentences it seems that you have not met with a very smooth path in business, and probably got burnt a couple of times.

2) "It was a stupid choice for you to forsake your university education!"

Firstly, I did not say I would be forsaking my university education. I merely stopped pursuing a course that I deemed was not suitable, in my best interest. Secondly, I do not, and probably cannot fathom you trying to rate my intellectual decisiveness, simply because you are not close to half as smart as me, period.

3) "Do you think doing business is easy? I am a businessman myself, and do you know how many people fail to even get past startup?"

I never said that the founding of any business entity, and the journey to substantial profitability and market share would be easy, so do not try to put words in my mouth. And I am well aware of the statistical figures - 95% of startups do not make it to 3 years, and only 2/5 of the remaining actually see it to considerable success.

But allow me to ask - why rate your success possibility on the statistics? This is not gambling, and certainly it is not by chance the high flyers made it big. If you start a business and leave it totally to market forces to determine when you will hit critical mass, I'm afraid that you will be greatly disappointed, for the answer is never.

Simply put, if you do not take responsibility for the success and failure of your business, you will never be in control of the situation, thus leaving yourself at the receiving end of cause and effect, which is mostly, also the losing end.

4) “Because they do not have a solid financial backing! Only people who have a solid financial backing can afford to pay the cost while the business slowly takes off.”

WRONG! If a business concept has to depend solely on a solid financial backing to withstand the test of time, I am sorry again, to have to tell you that, the eventual winner will be time.

If you start a business, and set aside a million dollars to bleed, you are not creating any new value, you are merely buying time, and when your funds eventually run out your business would fold.

5) “You young people just think making money is very easy!”

Please have the basic courtesy to not discriminate because of age. One may have lived 20 years but had made the effort to maximise the takeaways from every single experience, while another may have lived double the time but learnt nothing from all his past encounters.

Next, I am well aware making money is not easy, and have had my fair share of experiences and a vivid memory of my poorer days to remind me of that fact.

IN SUMMARY

Your claims and accusations to the concept of entrepreneurship are as groundless as your understanding of it all. You have failed terribly to impress me with your ego-ridden illustrations. And since business, to you, is no more than a gamble, I suggest you make your way to the nearest authorised dealer of Singapore Pools, and place a bet on 4D or TOTO.

In fact, you should place a minimal stake on both, and spend the rest of your wallet on getting Singapore Pools to announce the draw results later, since your idea of ultimate success is battling time.

I cannot persuade myself to take pity on your pathetic soul, the foul stench of ignorance it spills forth is much too nauseating.

May god be with you…