Greetings from Jakarta!!!

i am here, waiting for a video to be converted from .dat to .mpeg. blah... this is what happens when i come back... i am always doing the odd jobs for daddy dear... and this time, i have to convert it and edit it, cause there are some business secrets that only me and him know of...but the QUICK VIDEO CONVERTER doesn't convert so quickly.. so that's why i am here...

anyways, all is good in this New York City of Asia.. woahhahahaha... i've been to the dermatologist, shopping (shoes and more shoes), eating good food, visiting my grandparents, manicure and pedicure sessions, attended a wedding dinner, set up our xmas tree, went to a gorgeous park and gotten myself a swollen eye!! booo... so off i went to see the doc today, and i hate hate it when i have to go and see a doctor here, cause it makes me feel like a sickly little girl...

all rightie.. looks like the video converter is doing its job to be quick.. i shall get down to business. goodbye everybody!

sometimes i wonder whether the things that i did are the things that i should have done.

like this thing that i have gotten myself into tomorrow. why did i do what i did when i actually don't really have to do it cause i've gotten something else? the alternative is really not bad cause everyone else is taking that path. instead of just settling for that, i did this and brought uncertainties to my own life. i am wondering whether i am just being ambitious, unsatisfied with things, greedy and wanting more and more out of my life. or am i just trying my luck to see if this is the road that He wants me to take. perhaps it's His plan, since He knows what my future holds.

i am excited, and yet rather doubtful. i wish my doubts will just go away, and confidence will set in.

mood:*confused*

xiao di di, please forgive me...

i feel sooo guilty about what happened just now during one of my papers..

so here it goes.

it was the exam for the childish module - mpw - and halfway the paper, this guy suddenly asked me whether he can borrow my calculator.. he TALKED to me!! i mean since young, you and i know not to ever talk to anyone during exams, right?. even if i drop my pencil/eraser/pen, i would raise up my hand. call me paranoid, i JUST don't want to be caught cheating.

so when i heard his voice, i began to get worried to be caught cheating or having the intention to cheat, cause the invigilator earlier on already said that she'll just take note of anyone having the intention to cheat and won't probe further if she catches you cheating... so i didn't say anything to that guy, and pointed the invigilator.. he thought that i didn't want to lend him, so instead of asking her whether he can borrow my calculator, he asked for permission to take his calculator... BUT again, this small boy boy didn't bring one and instead took his handphone... i was looking at my own paper then. When the invigilator told him "NO", someone behind offered her calculator..

Blah! I am like this selfish bitch who doesn't want to lend people calculator now.. but that wasn't what i meant loh...i meant asking the invigilator first then i'll lend him. this is my second last sem already, and i don't want to be caught cheating for just a little xiao di di who doesn't know what-not-to-during exams!

damn it lah.. i feel so bad and i have to live with that. i wanted to explain to him after the paper, but he kind of give me that attitude when i reminded him to do something else

... geerrr...

am i that bad?

that's the reason why I prefer to sit by myself during exams. like in the first row of the sr, where the table is too small to have two peeps, so i have that whole table to myself. okay, maybe i'm an antisocial egocentric selfish bitch.

mood:*guilty*

a tired looking fran
a bus ride to church
a visit to mango
and

voila!

a satisfied fran

mood:*giggly*

exams here I come!

can you sense my boredom when i am studying?
my ass is in pain after having to sit down here for 2h20min
my eyes is teary too
i have sooo much problem about studying
i can't study at home
so i have to make my way down to the school library
in order to get something into my ever-so-stubborn brain
troublesome right?
is not as if anyone is disturbing me at home?
hello, i have the blooodddyy house to myself
but i can't sit still at my study table for 30mins!!
what is my problem??
arrghhh...
i hate the fact that i am not nervous for the exam
and yet
i am not prepared too.

wtf, right?

mood:*uncomfortable* cause the chair is hard

I have a fuzzy feeling when old friends who I have not heard for years, suddenly, contact me. I do wonder why they bother to message me out of the blue. I don't know whether I should feel happy that "hey, they still remember me!" or should i be critical and think "is he contacting me for a motive?" But so far, all of them have only been asking me how I am doing and bla bla bla. And no Fangky, they are not in that line, so I am still quite safe. At least, for now.

For the past 2 days, I have been in the school library. I have a sudden affinity to it. I like the feeling of having the whole table to myself, and the window that overlooks the concourse of the school. Plus, being in the library keeps me away from the unnecessary acts of blog hopping. It's a good environment to study.

I don't know if this is a good sign or not, but this is the first semester that I have 5 papers, back to back, BUT, I am not stress at all. I have not been mugging hard at all. Last last friday I was still out with Fangky, on sunday out again to catch "Just like Heaven" and this coming Monday, I'll be watching the "Harry Potter" show. I kept on telling myself that "it's okay to take a break" which is of course just to console oneself.

bla. i think i ought to work harder a little bit. 5paper, mind me!!

motivating note to self:
12 more days to freedom
freedom = sentosa + out with friends + martinis + fun + more fun

20 more days to going home
home = mummy + daddy + food + mani + pedi + massage +
fun + xmas tree + gathering with the family(s)

yeay!


back to bookienotie!

unexpected. exhilarated. excited. happy. thankful. jubilant.
on top of the world

simply GREAT!

now i have more drive to mug/beanerd/beageek

thank you God!

mood:

*excited*

can you see how bored i am in class?

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't. Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time. Your flirting style: Coy Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant What you bring to relationships: Romance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

uurrrghhhh
you just have to piss me off again right with your attitude?
i hate doing projects with you!
you are the first person that i really hate to do project with!
*hate hate hate!*
i never hate my project mate this much!
kuddos to you who really know how to be all vulnerable in front of the prof!
of course you have to be when you don't do your work!
urrrghhhh
tmrw will be the last time i will talk to you!
after that, you can just look at my superficial smile!
i really don't want to be your project mate ever and ever again

oh well, tell me, where on earth is there a project mate whom you msn to clarify something, and instead of answering, just went offline! phew! kaput!
i can bet is "appear offline" loh.
Is not once, but umpteen times, until i am so pissed
...urrrghhhh....
no point of being pissed off now, cause i am going to lallalaalla land
and i want to have sweet dreams of my chun jun ge!!
silly me.

but i am still pissed when i am writing this, so my mood shall be

*pissed off*

so what do you do when you are stress??
sounds like a million dollar questions eh...

for me, i cooked when i am stressed.
in fact, today, i whipped up 3 chicken dishes
my sis will go bonkas of chickens when she gets home!
and i cooked dishes from all over the world.
1. masala chicken (indian)
2. soto ayam (indonesian)
3. fried chicks (international)

on another note, i received this on my mailbox.

Hi there,
I just finished reading your report. It was very good, and interesting. It has an A+.
Cheers
-the prof-

wooohooo!! we are all very happy people.
even my prof say "cheers"!
we didn't expect it, cause we thought we covered less than the other presentations.
oh well, i better study hard for the finals, cause the other 70% has been secured...
good luck to me
and to you all who are having/going to have exams soon.

and think about the million dollar questions above!

mood: *jubilant*

Ah Hsia sent me this around June this year, and somehow i came across this again while I was blog-hopping (yes.. again) and I thought this is an interesting to be kept here. That way i can read it again and again when I am bored.

it's rather long. so if you have no patient, just read those that is in bold. :)

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

mood:*thoughtful*

see ya!

i am such a bimbo today.
i wore pink just because

1) i painted my toenails pink last night
2) i was feeling moody so i thought pink would brightened up my day

oh well, maybe i had look very pinky today,
but i like. cause it was a good way to start the stressful week.

did i say stress?

oh yes, i did.
this is week 11, everybody!
the time when everyone is rushing for deadlines and i am not excluded.
even though tomorrow and thursday are Deepavali and Hari Raya, accordingly
guess what?
i would be in school for class!!
*wooohooo!*
i love school!!

who was i trying to kid??

arrghh!!
so many things so little time
blame it on myself for being so unproductive during the weekend
you see, sis was sick, so she took an afternoon nap
and me taking the role of a nurse also slept in.
from three to six!
what a pig!

i think i have rambled enough and should get back to my bookienootie.

note to myself:
i shall be extra hardworking the next few days
annnnd
reward myself with my tai-tai game at the end of the week!!
i am so looking forward to FRIDAY
but we need one more person!!
:(
anyone wants to "swim" along with us?

mood: *silly*

pooped.tired.exhasuted.

long day i had today

woke up at 0800, started on my report, took a dip in the pool, went for class late cause of the dip, met up with my 6year old tutee, went home and took a shower, cooked my belachan dou miau (my new creation), took a nap, finished up report, watched my chen jun ge, did research for IE, and now blogging.

why do i feel that my life is becoming more productive than it used to be?

yesterday was also another "great" day

woke up at 0830, came to a class of 30 7years old who would climb all over me and smack their faces right in front of me, finished up my homework, started on 1st article for AT, 2nd article for AT, 3rd article for AT, edited an indo essay for famous-to-be dj, reformatted mpw report, blog-hopped too.

okay, i'm heading the bed now and looking forward to a great day tomorrow.

it's AT day!

i like the prof, the module, except the ........

i hope you (whoever who reads this) have a great day too!

sincerely,
me

mood: *tired*

Your Birthdate: June 20

Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading. The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. You are very prone to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. When things are going well, you can go just as far the other way and become extremely affectionate.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

chanced upon a meaningful story.

There were 3 men walking a journey. Each of them had 2 sacks...one in front of them and one on their back.

The first man took all the regrets, hate, and all the negative emotions he experienced during his journey and tossed them into the sack on his back and never kept any of the positive things he encountered. He soon found it so difficult to keep on walking with the heavy burden on his back, dragging him more and more and making him struggle to keep balance...

The second man also put the negative things in the sack on his back but not as much as the first person. However this man also appreciate the little, little positive things in life, which he took, and put them in the sack in front of him. He realised that while the sack at his back is slowly getting heavier, the positive things in his front sack managed to counter the weight and keep him balanced, although he still finds it a tad diffcult to walk with all the weight...nevertheless, still much better than the first person...

The third person did the same thing as the second person...but he made a hole in the sack on his back. His journey was the smoothest because even though he filled his back sack with the negative heavy burden, they never really weigh him down as they slowly fell out of the hole in the sack along the way. With every negative burden dropped, he'd look back and appreciate the journey a little more.

pissedpissedpissedpissedpissedpissed

i can't stand it anymore! i am pissed and this is my blog, so i can rant and rant till the cows go home! i just have to get this out here while i am in class cause if not my 6year old tutee will get it from me later!

the assigned work is due tomorrow. the person did take the initiative to ask me when i am free and i did reply as to when i would be free. the person chose the date and time and i agreed. despite the mid term that i had that very same day, i still went through my notes for that particular module as I wanted to be prepared for the meeting. but guess what? the person msged me in the morning, asking me whether the meeting could be postponed to monday. i said "okay, perhaps we could discuss online first during the weekend". as i am quite worried about not doing anything, i tried on my own last night. when i was not sure of some terms, i msged the person and fangz. guess who replied? of course not the person, but fangz. she even told me which book i could refer to and offered to lend her my book at 9plus. indeed, i am blessed with friends like fangz, but am i blessed with projectmates?? *roll eyes* i tried to msg the person again but to no avail.

okay, maybe msn is screwed, so i resorted to sms. i sms the person to meet at 9 at the library. at 835, the person msged to say that she just woke up, postponed meeting to 10. at 945 i reached school to see another msg asking me to meet at 1025 in kopitiam cause she hasn't had lunch. so i was there at the said place and time.

but guess what? the person is unprepared at all! the person honestly told me that she just took her notes from her locker! i thought since she could keep in the locker, maybe she already had the theories at the tip of her fingers so i clarified some stuffs with her, but in the end, i ended up teaching her some other stuffs. urrghh! my intention was really to work things out together, but i couldn't stand it anymore so i told her to look through what i have done! the person said it looks right, huh? like real when i did make some mistakes there. the thing is i did only income statement but was too lazy to come out with balance sheet last night, when i asked the person if we have to come out with balance sheet, the person conveniently said yes. so there i was punching in the numbers while she was there msging people on msn!! okay, fine, i was still able to stand it, cause it was only keying in the raw data. then when the balance sheet couldn't balance, i got worried, while she still look damn relax there. time was running up and i had to go for my class, and the person "cleverly" said "why dun you send me the excel and i try to look at it". but i said "why don't you come out on your own and we compare" guess what's her reply "it will take me a long time to do!"

huh? so the person did know it has taken me a long time to do last night, but she could conveniently ask me to send it to her without her putting in any kind of effort?

i really cannot understand how could people do such a thing? am i too naive to always compromise with people's need? am i worried for nothing? but i don't think i am, cause fangz has started with it even before the weekend and i heard Ph is also working on hers too. it is only right that i am rather worried right? and this is not the first time. the first project that we have to do together, i took the initiave to come out with an outline before the first meeting. when the discussion didn't seem to lead anywhere cause the whole time she was asking me stuffs, i gave in by giving her the outline that i have thought of. as for subsequent meetings before the presentation, i had to cancel one of my tuitions to suit her schedule. Then now, she postponed all the meetings to today, the day before the presentation, without being prepared! isn't she aware that there are only 2 of us in this whole project??

urrghhh... please God, give me the strength to put up with this kind of people!! i don't know how this is going to work out tomorrow. i really don't feel like sending her the excel cause i would be spoon-feeding her and made her think that she could just relax-one-corner, while i get worried!

mood:*pissed off*

as if I am well-versed with the conventional banking
that i am now doing research on islamic banking!!
*wuekkks*
there are not many sites that would explain how they fix the interest rate.
how? how how?
can someone who happen to read this and know
something about islamic banking give me a holler?
*fat hope*

but daddy is so sweeet, he asked if i need him
to find info from the indonesian banks
but i told him, no thanks,
cause i am researching on malaysian islamic bank
though it would be similar but it may differ a little or two

*sigh*
break is over officially tomorrow
and i am not looking forward to the next 7 weeks in school
especially the next month..
cause it'll be work, work and more work
and i would be going bonkas with project meetings and more project meetings

nonetheless, i know that the daddy up there would give me ample strength
can't wait to see my kids tomorrow!!

will you just leave me alone?
cause i don't really care

whether you remember

that i was there or not!

the one above knew best

what i have done and not done.

the truth will be out one day,

and i am not scared of the truth!

*irritating!*

he
who made me so pissed
who asked me to make amendments to the document but don't believe me
who never listen to other people but himself
who made me look like i did nothing for it
who thought that he had done something for it
who never ever recognised that i also put my blood and sweat into it
who made me decide that i should just ignore his future emails

urrrghhh... to think that we are siblings-in-christ!!!

i am so infuriated that i should just get back to my accounting theory readings!

mood:*angry*

sick-o-me

I am sneezing non-stop
*aaa...chew*
I hate this feeling of
being under the weather.
urrghh
..
am i sick?
or
is someone thinking of me?
..
i would like to think
it's the latter
>_<

mood:*sick*

it has just dawn on me that i have quite a lot of things to do. midterms, project meeting, assignments, homeworks and the list goes on and on and on and on. the thought of "the list" make me cringe a little, but i told myself to just do it one thing at a time. cause things would eventually get done. however, the state of my body right now doesn't allow to get things done. urrghh. despite making sure that i have 6 hours of sleep each day, i feel extra exhausted by the time the clock struck 8pm. That is why i am here now, cause I am not in my most productive state!!

what's wrong with me?

today was worse. thinking that my body was not functioning well due to lack of exercise last week, i woke up before my 0830 class to go for a jog. It did me good during my morning class, but after lunch, i was back to my sleepy state. I even fell asleep when I attended a talk which was supposedly for my professional development. I was falling asleep again when i tried to get some readings done on the bus. And when I got home, I took an hour nap when it was only meant to be 25 mins only. urrghh.

on a different note, a note from a friend whom i have not spoken to for a long time cheered me up:

hey fran, how r u? haven heard from u for ages. where r u now? ok, take
good care.

xx

though it is just a simple message, it makes me ecstatic to know that an old friend still remembers me. plus, xx used to be a ....... (fill in the blank yourself!!) funny how that simple message could reconnect our friendship once more as we began to exchange emails (almost) everyday. or perhaps, i am easily-contented with how things are happening around me right now.

ok, out of my room i shall be watching Amazing Race!

mood: *optimistic*

if my mum ever get too see the current state of my skin,

she'll prolly ban me from the sun/beach/Sentosa.

cause despite getting all burnt last weekend,

I still went to Sentosa yesterday.

this time I put a layer of block to my burnt parts,

and a layer of tanning oil (hoping that it would even out the tan).

but it didn't really work, cause the sun was less scorching yesterday.

arrrghhh

i have two different tan lines now

and

am still peeling & feeling itchy now.

i look like i have some skin disease!!sheesssh

even though i seem to complain a lot about this skin problem that I have,

i still have fun yesterday in Sentosa,

allowing the wave to carry me, playing frisbee and blalalablalabala

then we continued in LongJohn

talking lots of silly-billy stuffs.

which lead to D being too scared to let me see his fingers

hahahahhahahaha

---------------------------

today, my eye candy sat beside me in Church

this eye candy is one cute bloke

whom you all might have seen on TV/newsapaper.

He held my hand during the "Our Father"

when nowadays very few people do that

...wooohooo...

besides being cute, i think he's a very nice uncle

cause he was all protective over his nephew

arrghh

good uncle -> good father

right??

but too bad, i prolly won't see him again next week

cause he studies in a very famous school overseas

mood:*silly*

A long day I had today

Started off with 0830 MPW Class.
after class I found out that I am peeling and the funny thing is only on my left shoulder. what's with my left? or is something wrong with my right that it is not as well as the left? as E put aptly last night during prayer meet when I told her that my face is peeling, it is free exfoliating service.

International Econs at 1200.
Sitting in for two presentations is damnnnnn tiring. I was dozing off and the rain outside seems to encourage me to do so. So I went down to get a toast during break. Anndddd let me just say that it would be the last time I buy Kaya Toast from the Killiney in school. It was horrible lah. They just heat up the bread for a few seconds which I don't consider it a toast at all. The bread is so hard and cold. While eating it, I even contemplated on complaining to the real Killiney. Surely, these franchises must follow some standard quality control, right?? Plus the auntie, I suppose is the owner, she was able to scold the guy for being slow when she just stood there. "Hello, why don't you help him out so that it won't be slow?"

1545 I had Pilates.
This is one class that I look forward to every Thursday. I love to go for this class cause it really relaxes my mind. Today the instructor challenged me one step further in order to strengthen my abs and miraculously, I could do it!! Sadly, I only have four more weeks to go :( Today, i just found out that the two instructors are dating. how sweet would it be to work with your other half!!

Lastly, tea-session with the Firm.
I went there with the motive to check out the restaurant. hehhehehe. The Firm always provide nice food anyway. Last year, they catered Olio Dome when they came for campus visit, this time round, they invited us to Capela, so I thought why don't I just drop by? I know deep inside my heart that I would not mind joining them next year, but I do have my reservation as to whether I should stick with that department. I had the chance to speak to some people in a specialised department and they are nice enough to explain to me more about theirs. The more they talked about it, the more I felt that that is where I should try getting in. Halfway through the conversation, we had to leave Capela and continued our little chat in Insomnia. It was another nice and cozy chill-out place. urrghh, another pulling factor, this firm always choose great food and great places!! And so in the end, they (who have worked for years) told me to apply and let them know of the outcome.

mood:*excited*

i had a greatilicious weekend
plus: sunday lunch in Holland V (great Italian restaurant) with Ettoria....
mood:*refreshed*

i like how my life is in proper order right now.

my readings have been going well so far, except for Accounting Theory which would take some time to comprehend and sort out. i think this weekend, i'll try to catch up on it.

my first presentation was okay today. -phew- except for the jitters that I had yesterday.

my experience of being an event organizer was great (thanks, Qh!), seeing the gorgeous gowns that those guests wore made me wonder whether I would ever have the chance to do otherwise.

my encounter with the old birthday boy taught me three lessons: to trust, to be trusted and to be humble. i am beginning to be motivated to do something else in the next few months. shall hush hush for now.

i love how my life is going well. no one can break me.

mood:*bouncy*

You are Yellow Fawn

who tend to be idyllic, not pretentious, and seem to give an impression of a tomboy (really??), and someone who hates to lose. Nevertheless, you are a woman with gentle heart and rather old fashioned ways of thinking. You enjoy having life with atmosphere, and shows consideration and care for others. But you can be very fussy about your preferences. You dislike anything that is dishonest (this is so true!!), and have passion and cuteness. Your weakness is that you can be bit selfish at times. You are honest hard working person. Relationships that you feel safe tend to be restricted, and therefore, you are easily influenced by people and situation around you. You can not easily adapt to changes.You think high of morality. You are easily moved by tears, and are honest and sentimental sort of person. You tend to restrict your self with your cautiousness, and this may result in isolation. You tend to be difficult to get to know (true, true), and will require time to become friend with.Nevertheless, once your character is understood, you will be able to keep a long and steady friendship.If you keep doing favors for those people who always ask you, you may lose your good fortune. So, be careful. You are not a housewife type of person (hmm.. so i guess i can't be a tai-tai), but you can be dependent on your husband.

check out yours!

mood:*happy*

i had a great dinner just now
with my beloved sister
.finally.

just the two of us
food was fantastic at HongKong Cafe

drink - mango pomelo - was thirst quenching

french toast was ohhlalalla

all of you should try it!!

mood:*full*

as this semester i'm taking "childish modules" (as described by pH), i have childish things to do - homework. it sounds damn childish to say that i am doing my homework. i am already in uni, and i am doing homework??!?!? the term just doesn't sound politically right. the last time i used the word was probably in secondary school. in jc we used to call it "tutorials". for the past 3 years in uni, i don't recall having any. and suddenly in my final years, i have "HOMEWORK"?!?

on a separate note, i could finally say i am a tai-tai in the making cause I have finally regained my skill of playing mahjong. last night, when we (yj,wl,s and I) stayed over at c's, we played mahjong the whole night. all right, maybe not the whole night, cause we went for supper at 85. i din win a few rounds!!

my hands are itching right now...i think i need to look for future tai-tai to practice my skills.

hee

i am addicted to a korean show
"stairway to heaven"
this is also the first show
that i shed my tears
*boo hoo hoo*

but that's not the point of this entry

being the curious me who want
to know the whole plot
i went to the page that
my friend told me.
if my memory didn't fail me
it was
http://kittyheart.com

but guess what was that site?

they are selling vibrating panties!!
woo hoo.. i didn't know they sell this kind of stuffs

mood:*surprised*

i've a full day in school today..
which means i've class from 0830 to 1845,
with a break between 1000-1200.
i'm crashing in for two classes.
one is an option for me,
while the other one -
i'm trying to beg the prof to let me in
despite not meeting up with the requirements.

yesterday, i tried asking another prof to let me in his class
but he refused!!!
i told him i would take the risk
of just scrapping,
but he won't let me!!!

urrrghhh..
all right, gotta do some photocopying for one module..

a summer to remember

In a few hours, my holiday will come to an end. School would be starting as per normal tomorrow and it would mark my second last term in school. Don't really know how i should feel though, cause i am in a confused state of mind.

so what have happened in Summer 2005??
let me just say a lot have happened during this vacation.
read on to find out!!

found my love

this summer, i was teaching english to two groups of taiwanese kids, for a duration of two weeks for each group. These bunch of 8-13 years old are so innocent and cute that they helped me a lot during those difficult times. I can say that maybe God did sent me his little angels to help me cope with my sorrows. (Thank you, God!) It also made me think that dealing with kids are much easier than dealing with adults and I began to have a goal that I want to work on in the coming years. shall keep mum until everything is concrete. *lalallalla*

first and last summer class

this is the first summer that i took a class, and sadly it would be my last too. I enjoyed the lesson as there's no exam to study for and the group project is pretty interesting. just imagine having to redesign a game!! i know i won't get that kind of opportunity in the corporate world. the group that i was with was also cooperative, minimising the fact that i have a groupmate who disturbs me continuously. for now, just gotta wait for the grade.. *cross finger*

being offered a JOB

knowing that I would be graduating in May 2006, the firm has offered me a job, with a rather reasonable salary, i must say, for fresh graduates. the firm is famous globally and a good learning ground. i can also foresee myself wearing power suit walking along the CBD area. *bling bling* but i am in dilemma of whether to take it up. i know that this kind of opportunity doesn't happen to everybody, but would i want to keep a promise for a year??

having great company

this summer was well-spent cause i managed to meet up with almost all my friends - secondary school, jc, some uni friends, perhaps it was only the accounting kaypohnehs that i didn't manage to spend time with. eits, but we did go out after our final paper and the long-cum-tiring hike. i can trully say that i had a great time in all the gatherings, catching up with one another's lives. come to think of it, it's funny how we could all connect though we meet up only once in a while!!

of being single and lovin' it

to those who have been contemplating my status, i shall give the confirmation here. i guess the lesson that i can take away from the experience is that i should never ever trust a person wholeheartedly, cause when i did and things happenned, it really hurts. don't know whether i should hold on to the opinion that "there is always a good side in everyone of us", cause from the look of it having a belief in someone doesn't do me good. i am beginning to have doubts though whether all the words that had been said before were sincere. But it doesn't really matter now, does it?

so there you go... my summer in retrospect. i wish you all for a good term ahead, especially now that i'll be in the city!!

mood:*peaceful*

since i'm waiting for the two girls from Jurong to come and bring the food, i thought i might as well scribble here..

today the SAAT people are coming over for a BBQ at my house. seeing that the prediction was "THUNDERSTORM IN LATE AFTERNOON", i got worried and started to clean up my house in case these 20-25 people are coming up to my very own house! luckily, the sky is clear now and it looks great to have a BBQ...

i have been eating lots of nice food lately.. grrr.. fat fat fat.. i better go for exercise soon. yesterday, being my sister's birthday, we went to have a Jap buffet dinner at IOKI Restaurant. It is good! and it's worth the money! salmon is fresh and you can eat as much as you want.

ok, they are here. bye

i did an IQ quiz online
and it says that i am
"above average"
but is the test valid?
cause i only have to
answer 33 qns...

mood: *mischievous*

testing my photoshopping skill

can someone please shoot me so that i would get back to my report??

...

i hate myself.
when i have a deadline
i will dilly dally -
blog snopping;
blog writing;
online shopping
instead of getting down with work!!!!

what is wrong with me??

hello, my brainwaves,
can you please not meander around
and shoot right into that part of the brain
that is for writing.
which was it?
the right or the left?
i can't remember!!
all my bio knowledge has gone too..

*frustratedfran*

i hope my brain will cooperate
after my stomach is satisfied with
the geylang frog porridge.
please, do..

mood:*crazy*

i guess everyone's writing "Today is Singapore's 40th Birthday" on their blog for today, so i should do the same to follow the norm.

i have nothing to write actually. except for the fact that i am confused.
i want to merge this page and my previous page.
feel silly to inform everyone that i've moved.
so i am thinking whether i should just stick with little-fran and shut this down.

ok. i'm out thinking.

I have a sudden yearning to blog. don't ask me why.

so now i am back to being a student. no more "Teacher, Teacher" (except for Sundays), as i have decided that since my parents have paid $600++ for this summer term, i might as well maximised it by getting good grades for it.

I like this course, it is very interesting. despite the tons of readings that he has fed us with, the course is so far so good. The final paper for this course is due.... NEXT WEEK !!

I was lucky enough that just one week before this course started, I chanced upon a book on Calvin Klein. so when Prof told us what we have to do for the final paper, I immediately asked him if I could do on cK, and he said "yes"!! so my paper for this module would be on cK's elements of creativity and how he has used his ads to provoke our purity.

a preview of my paper:

when Kate Moss was his signature model


the "Do you know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing" ad

mood: *determined*

i'm so excited!!

my sis is coming back in a few minutes
armed with the bag
that i have been dreaming
of for the longest time

*prancing around*

this week is going to be tough for me

mon: school 1300-1700

tues: teach 0930-1530

wed: school 1300-1700

thurs: teach 0930-1530

fri: teach 0930-1530
(skipping school)

i'm looking forward to my class
tomorrow, cause it sounds
really interesting.

Management of Creative Industries, here i come!

mood:*excited*

my long weekend has passed
and now it's back with the kids again.
This time, I spent almost half a day with them.
930-1530!!
but I am not complaining cause
pay is good; lunch is free

The kids are older now so
it's less cuter bunch than the previous.
The duration is longer such that
by the time it is after lunch,
the teacher feels sleepy. *tsk tsk tsk*
ain't easy becoming a teacher, heh?

yesterday, i received an email from one of my kids, Kelly.
it says
"i am very miss you"
perhaps she was trying to say
"i miss you"
or
"i miss you very much"
or
"i miss you lots"

whatever the case may be,
it makes me plainfully happy.
even though i didn't do a very good job
on improving her English,
i am missed by a little kid!
*sheepish grin*

p.s. now i have an irritating kid who shouts
"tea char, I pin nis"

mood:*giggly*

what have i been doing for the past 2 weeks?

*tada*



i love my current job!!
long weekend.good pay.free lunch
no reason to ask for more.

another set of kiddos to have fun with on Wednesday!!

*lalllalalla*

mood:*optimistic*

my class is great! :) my throat is baaddddd :(

i think everyone's falling sick these days. 3 girls in my class are sick. 1 of my friend is having fever. (ah hsia! take care) the weather these days have been rough. hope everyone gets well soon. including myself of course, cause i've another class next week!! i see $$ rolling in!! yippie yay!!

so lately, i don't know what's up with organizers. they organize something, participants reply, and these organizers never get back to their participants. i have not only encountered this once, but a few times! it has to be me who take the initiative to ask whether it is still happening, and it pissed me off when they say it's cancelled.

#$%&! I've scheduled that day for them and said "no" to other invitation. at the last minute, it's a "not meeting up today"! what the @#$%! guess what, they are the ones who take the credit that they bothered to take the initiative to organize meet-ups for all these years! my toes are laughing, cause some of these people used to order people around to inform everyone, while she just shoke leg. then when i took the initiative to organize, she cleverly took over as if she's the one who organized!!

all right, i shall stop ranting. i shall just sleep. two more days with my class!!

mood:

Today is my first day of being an English Teacher. I couldn't sleep last night cause I have some doubts whether these kids would understand me or not. I was glad that they do! These kids that I am teaching ranged from 9-12 years old. The younger ones behaved well and are enthusiastic about learning, but there is a particular 12 year old girl that is irritating me. She took out her handphone and started messaging in the middle of the class. She ordered her younger buddies to not join the games that I have prepared for them. And when I told them to wait for the rest of the class, she gave me that "why are you bossing me around" kind of look! I am suspecting that she did this because she is about my height and she thinks that I am in no capacity to teach her.. but whatever, i shall not let a 12 years old girl bother me too much.

yesterday in Cathechism class, there was another incident of a kid being rude to me! We asked them to do a crossword puzzle and being a nice teacher, I looked around to see who needed help. I approached this boy named Joseph and he told me "don't come and irritate me lah!" I was appaled by the rudeness of kids these days. And so I care less for him. By the time everyone has finished, Joseph was only able to find 3 of the words!! I wanted to tell him "see lah you told me not to irritate you right!" but I didn't. I was patient enough to hint to him where the words are. Am i not a good teacher?

twas the bad incidents, there will always be good ones. For examples, there is a kid who asked me to marry him, or a kid who confided to me that she couldn't get to sleep, or a kid who told me her experiences in school.

Teaching has taught me one thing - patience.

mood:*accomplished*

out of boredom, i chanced upon this quiz which has rather accurate explanations.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

woke up yesterday morning with
Michael Learns to Rock's new hit
"Take me to your heart"
and I can only conclude one point:
guys have such big ego.

the chorus goes:

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true
btw, it was a guy singing this

my point is -
why can't the guy take the girl's heart and soul?
why can't the guy take the girl's hand before she's old?
why can't the guy show the girl's love?
if he hasn't got a clue now, then wait till he has lah

is it just me? let me know your views

mood:*thoughtful*

"Never Give Up"

Visions that can change the world trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me too afraid to dream out loud
And though it's simple your idea, it won't make sense to everybody
You need courage now If you're gonna persevere

To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you're called
So don't be afraid to face the world against all odds

[Chorus]
Keep the dream alive don't let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don't stop
And never give up, don't ever give up on you
Don't give up

Every victory comes in time, work today to change tomorrow
It gets easier, who's to say that you can't fly
Every step you take you get, closer to your destination
You can feel it now, don't you know you're almost there?

To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you're called
So don't be afraid to face the world against all odds

[Chorus]
Keep the dream alive don't let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don't stop
And never give up, don't ever give up on you

[Bridge:]
Who holds the pieces to complete the puzzle?
The answer that can solve a mystery
The key that can unlock your understanding
It's all inside of you, you have everything you need yeahhhh

Sooooo, keep the dream alive don't let it die
If something deep inside, keeps inspiring you to try don't stop
And never give up, don't ever give up on you

Sometimes life can place a stumbling block in your way
But you're gotta keep the faith, bring what's deep inside your heart yeah your
Heart to the light
And never give up Don't ever give up on you

Nooo don't give up,
No, no, no, no don't give up
Oh, no, no, no, no don't...give...up

parents left this afternoon and our house is back to its usual quietness. decided to watch Honey and boy, it was inspringly great! at the end of the movie, this was the song:

- I Believe-

They said you wouldn't make it so far a a
And ever since they've said it its been hard
But never mind that night'cha had to cry
Cause you had never let it go inside
You worked real hard and
you know exactly what you want and need so believe
And you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say

[Chorus:]
I believe I can
I believe I will
I believe I know my dreams are real
I believe I stand
I believe I'll dance
I believe I'll grow real soon and
That is what I do believe

Your fools are just a thing in your soul aha
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine leave all of your cares and stress behind and
Just let it go
Let the music go inside again the pain
It just start to believe

[Chorus]

[Rap passage]

Never mind what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams I will believe
Even though it seems it's not for me
I won't give up, I'll keep it up
Looking to the sky
I will achieve on my knees
I will always believe

there you go, this is my favourite song right now. The lyrics is really motivating, especially those that i have bolded.

i had an evening stroll just now which rejuvenates my energy. However, after dinner, my sis, his bf and I catched It's a lot like love which I shall not comment except don't burn your $8.50 for that show.

i am such a movieholic!!(is there such words?)

mood:*optimistic*

was talking to my dad just now and it seems that he is very protective of me. he was rather against the idea of me settling down somewhere where he has to travel hours to get there. 1.5 hour flight is still okay to him. my dad is soooo adorable.

on another note, my mum is okay!! feel rather relieved but i ought to do something for her so that she wouldn't be stressed out. what could i do as a daughter?

hmmm, i hope the day trip to JB tommrow will lessen the tense.

so I am a little tired of this hectic life
as compared to some people,
i have so many activities
that i am not concentrating on the IMPORTANT stuffs

i like to be busy and not laze around
but i am at this juncture of my life
that i really and only want
to do the IMPORTANT stuffs

should i stop for a while?
really, i would not mind seeking my passion
once i am done with the IMPORTANT stuffs
but this is just not the right time!!

would they understand?
would they think i am a black sheep?
would they think i am a quitter?
is the IMPORTANT stuffs really important?

if only someone can decide for me, i would not be...

mood: *stressed*

yippie yay! my parents will be here in a few hours..

i've cleaned up the house, neatened up the mess, changed the bedsheets for them. watever it is, it is presentable to my parents and don't look like a pig-sty. now, i can't wait to see them cause it has been around 3 months since I last saw them.

i am looking forward to a great week ahead with them - celebrating my buffday, accompanying them for a check up, shopping, sleeping with them and basically spending time!!

i think i am quite good in dividing my time. cause this week, i was catching up with my SMU friends and my secondary school girlies. next week, i would be spending time with my parents. and the following week would prolly be the choir peeps, jc friends and exercise, exercise.

all right, i have to get going now..have a great week ahead Everybody!!

mood: *productive*

i'm so relieved after getting to know what i've got for my tax planning. It's a miracle! It's God's gift to me for this term! Now, I really do not mind testing the water in tax...

I am really lost for words. Just the other day, I was trying to gauge what's my GPA this time, and I was talking to myself "if i can get a * for my tax planning that will be good" Deep down in my heart, I was praying to God to just give me what I deserve. And today, this is what I've got!

two lessons i've learnt from this term:

1.never make judgement about the prof
the one that you expect to be the nicest is the worst

2.never give up studying(even when the subject is tough)
the prof who has a sexy bon-bon or turban will motivate you

mood: *awake*

This is my first post for this new blog.

Look at the skin!! I made it all by myself... any comments?

so why the change?

1. previous one was too obvious. one look and you know who the name of the blogger. it is not that fun and i want to be a lil more mysterious.
2. i am a new motivated ME! i know what i want to do for the last 2 semesters of my uni life and before i enter the dark corporate world with my powersuit.
3. age is catching up. a new year with a new blog.

tada! i think that's all the reasons i had for this change.

lemme satisfy your eyes with some pics from 2 weeks ago...

mood: *giggly*