I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible, since I already have it written down in the baby book in full details :)
5am on the dot I got the call from the nurse saying there was room for me to have an induction that morning. Dan and I got ready as fast as we could, were out the door 15 minutes later, headed to Starbucks, I had a chonga bagel and he had caffeine. 5:30am I was in the hospital bed ready to start the show. Answered a bazillion questions, texted all the fam and waited til the IV nurse came in. This young gal starts my IV, and does a horrid job. HORRID. I've had plenty of IVs in my life, I know whats good and bad. My husband is an IV starter EXPERT, and he was cringing watching what she was doing. She put the wrong needle in me, far too big for my vein. It hurt so bad.
at 6 they started my cytotec, and after a half hour I could walk around. My sister Suz showed up with more coffee, then an hour later Alicia arrived. Bryn was with my mom at this point, thanks to George shuttling her up to her house at 7:30am. The contractions were so small. Just little crampies. I was 50% and 2cm, and she was far up there. Far.
3 hours later, another round of cytotec, same dilation.
By 1pm, my doc came in and agreed to break my water, I was BARELY a 3cm, but since this was my second rodeo, they figured my body would be more forgiving. She broke it, and holy moses, the flood waters kept COMING. I kept telling my nurses, you guys, I'm sitting in a swamp, it's going to flood the floor. They laughed and said they've never had a spillage yet, it wont happen today. Sure enough, it went all over the floor. All over. I gushed and gushed fluid. It was humorous. Alicia even got a pic of the flood waters on the floor.
The pitocin shortly followed and that of course brought on the big contractions. Ouch. They kept upping it til finally I got the thumbs up for my epidural. By now my parents had come, Jena, Alicia, Suz, Dan and Bryn had all been around. My nurse was so fabulous I couldve kissed her. I was in so much pain during my epidural due to contractions, she literally held me still so I wouldnt flinch while the needle was going in my back. Loved her.
All was well after that. I relaxed, felt very little. People came and went. My doc came to check me and I was at a 6cm 90%...and she noticed Lennon was caught on my hip. She said I wasnt going to have a baby tonight, see you tomorrow, and she checked out for the night. At this point my parents are ready to head home with Bryn.
My nurses werent satisfied. THey got to work on me, flipping me over left and right until finally they moved me to my left side, with my leg high up in the air.
I got Horrible shakes. The nurses said, once she's off that hip of yours, she's gonna come flying out. I was like no way. She was still at -3 station, only 6 cm. I was no optimistic.
Not 5 minutes later, I was hit with the force of incredible pain. THIS was what it felt like to go drug free.
My epidural had drained out of me, and I was now laboring without drugs, and frankly, it scared me because it came on so fast. I started wimpering, then crying for my nurses, begging them to tell me why I could feel everything. She lifted my leg, and yelled, it's baby time, your gonna have this baby right now.
Chaos. Well atleast to me. It was like a synchronized dance to everyone in the room.
My nurse ran and got whoever was in the hall way...and yelled for a doc.
My dad ran to get my mom who went for a walk with Bryn down the hallway.
Suz is getting the skype call ready for Sayle whos in Hawaii, ready to watch this go down.
Dan is getting in his position.
Alicia is so giddy with excitement and snapping a thousand pictures.
I am a blubbering mess.
Just a couple minutes go by during that dance, and this rockstar doctor comes in, and says push.
I gather my tears up clothes my eyes and push with all my might. I'm thinking, I cant believe this is happening.
Ten minutes ago she was -3 station, 6cm. Those nurses know best.
I pushed about 7 times? It hurt so incredibly bad. So THIS is natural childbirth. Huh.
Everyone is screaming and crying with excitement, the nurses are so fabulous, the doc is so encouraging,
my sisters are crying, Alicia is giggling with excitement, my dad is somewhere in the back, Bryn is looking out the window, my mom is in front of me..
Then she arrives. It was slow motion. It sounds cliche but the last few years of infertility flashed before my eyes. All the struggle, pain, nights we wept for a child. Here she was. I was dying to see her face, who was she?
She was familiar. Best way to put it. Looked like Bryn, but was her own self. Familiar. Like I knew her already.
We recorded the audio of the whole thing, and first words I say to her are I love you, and We waited so long for you.
I just loved the whole experience, once again. Although it mirrored Bryn's birth quite a bit, there was that pain this time that I cant describe, however, it's such a high, looking back. Such a high.
Brynlee just adores her sister. Greatest help. So tender and sweet to her. She is always asking if her eyes are open, because she wants to see her sisters "pretty eyes" so she says.
I had an internal tear and a minor external tear, but recovery has been harder this time around. I'm only 3 weeks out, but things still arent "normal" down there. I'm dying to start working out, but have a while to go still.
I gained 19lbs, and I have lost 25, within the first 6 days. However, I'm a big marshmallow :)
Ok that's all for now. I'll post more later.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
38
Gah.
First it was an email saying that my big laundry room rug will be delayed til MID JANUARY.
Then it was my afternoon appt today with my doctor saying that she doesnt recall me being scheduled for induction on the 12th. But instead, scheduled me for the 13th and refused to change it.
I wont know FOR SURE, 3 days prior to that. Then even THEN, the day of induction, my time can be bumped an hour before. ( so different from the last hospital I was at )
So yes I'm grumpy and frustrated. I even had plans made for Brynlee, and now I have to start over. Family is taking time off work, they have to reschedule now, blah blah blah.
The only good news from today's appt is i'm almost fully effaced. I thank my acupuncture and evening primrose oil for helping things along.
My cervix is being pinched more often, so much that I yelp like a dog every so often. My heartburn is out of this world, doesnt matter what I eat. But she's happy and moving and growing so it's a blessing and i'm thankful. Trying to remember all these movements she makes, since I plan on this being my last pregnancy.
First it was an email saying that my big laundry room rug will be delayed til MID JANUARY.
Then it was my afternoon appt today with my doctor saying that she doesnt recall me being scheduled for induction on the 12th. But instead, scheduled me for the 13th and refused to change it.
I wont know FOR SURE, 3 days prior to that. Then even THEN, the day of induction, my time can be bumped an hour before. ( so different from the last hospital I was at )
So yes I'm grumpy and frustrated. I even had plans made for Brynlee, and now I have to start over. Family is taking time off work, they have to reschedule now, blah blah blah.
The only good news from today's appt is i'm almost fully effaced. I thank my acupuncture and evening primrose oil for helping things along.
My cervix is being pinched more often, so much that I yelp like a dog every so often. My heartburn is out of this world, doesnt matter what I eat. But she's happy and moving and growing so it's a blessing and i'm thankful. Trying to remember all these movements she makes, since I plan on this being my last pregnancy.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
36.5 weeks/November 25
Almost there.
Last Tuesday's appt showed I was 1cm dilated and not effaced. Pretty much what I expected but not what I had hoped.
I must be atleast 2 cm and effaced in order to be induced on the 12th, and I'm starting to have my doubts. I'll start acupuncture this week and do chiro work 3 more times. If I'm not too tired I'll do the elliptical.
I'm still madly making scarves. I'm kinda sick of it, but I need the money and it keeps me busy at least.
Heartburn is only getting worse, backpain is still there, but I'm not swelling thankfully, and my weight is still under control. I'm not eating as much as I was just because there's NO more room!
I'm very very ready to meet her.. Very.
Last Tuesday's appt showed I was 1cm dilated and not effaced. Pretty much what I expected but not what I had hoped.
I must be atleast 2 cm and effaced in order to be induced on the 12th, and I'm starting to have my doubts. I'll start acupuncture this week and do chiro work 3 more times. If I'm not too tired I'll do the elliptical.
I'm still madly making scarves. I'm kinda sick of it, but I need the money and it keeps me busy at least.
Heartburn is only getting worse, backpain is still there, but I'm not swelling thankfully, and my weight is still under control. I'm not eating as much as I was just because there's NO more room!
I'm very very ready to meet her.. Very.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
34 week appt
I waited and waited for my doc to come in the room today. 15 minutes. 30 minutes. Started to get sick cuz of my back and finally laid down. 50 minutes later she comes in the room and I start crying. Trying to explain that I feel silly but wanting her to know that my pain is REAL. I cant wear a support band because my ligaments are SO weak they are so painful and fragile. I've done the chiro, I'm in massage therapy, but it's still there. She immediately said to get into physical therapy. What I will do there, I dont know. But whatever.
Next up for discussion was the ultrasound I had 3 weeks ago.
I reminded her that she's big...and my concern was fluid levels, delivering late, and then not being able to get her out resulting in a c-section. But the biggest concern was that this pain I have will last past 40 weeks. I cannot, will not do it. She knew where I was going with this. She is one that doesnt like to induce. IN fact right off the bat at the beginning, she said she doesnt do it before 42 weeks. So today when she told me she'd agree to induce at 39 weeks, ( if cervix is ok ) I was so relieved. I obviously want Lennon to arrive on her own but I am comforted in knowing we have a backup plan.
It is funny, because although Lennon is big, and I FEEL how big she is, my stomach doesnt really show it. I cant figure it out. In fact, weird things have happened. My rings dont fit because they are too BIG. My pants fall down, I havent retained much water, which is great. I'm still holding strong to 12lbs Gained. It waivered a bit last week by a couple pounds but I'm back to 12. 16 is the goal for the max and I'm doin good. My appetite is partially to blame, it's nearly non existant. I could have a small sandwich or salad for lunch and it'll hold me all day, and I'll barely want dinner. I still MUST eat breakfast, and it's usually the most unhealthy of the day. Sausage Biscuits or poptarts have been a staple. So has orange juice.
Anyways, that's about it.
Next up for discussion was the ultrasound I had 3 weeks ago.
I reminded her that she's big...and my concern was fluid levels, delivering late, and then not being able to get her out resulting in a c-section. But the biggest concern was that this pain I have will last past 40 weeks. I cannot, will not do it. She knew where I was going with this. She is one that doesnt like to induce. IN fact right off the bat at the beginning, she said she doesnt do it before 42 weeks. So today when she told me she'd agree to induce at 39 weeks, ( if cervix is ok ) I was so relieved. I obviously want Lennon to arrive on her own but I am comforted in knowing we have a backup plan.
It is funny, because although Lennon is big, and I FEEL how big she is, my stomach doesnt really show it. I cant figure it out. In fact, weird things have happened. My rings dont fit because they are too BIG. My pants fall down, I havent retained much water, which is great. I'm still holding strong to 12lbs Gained. It waivered a bit last week by a couple pounds but I'm back to 12. 16 is the goal for the max and I'm doin good. My appetite is partially to blame, it's nearly non existant. I could have a small sandwich or salad for lunch and it'll hold me all day, and I'll barely want dinner. I still MUST eat breakfast, and it's usually the most unhealthy of the day. Sausage Biscuits or poptarts have been a staple. So has orange juice.
Anyways, that's about it.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
31 weeks
As you know I've been suffering from severe low back pain. Turns out it was NOT a bladder infection. The test was initially positive, but turned out to be negative. uhg.
I went to see my doc a couple days ago, explaining in detail all that is going on. I took my time and explained what I've done to try to change it, and that nothing is bringing relief. NOT EVEN a vicodin.
She didnt like it. Kept saying that this early I shouldnt feel back pain, since my baby is barely 3lbs on average. So she checked me and noted that my cervix is softer than it should be at this point. Swabbed me to see if I was in preterm labor, which turned out to be negative. But the nurse was very clear that that doesnt mean that I should ignore symptoms etc. Doc measured my tummy for fundal height, which I understand is an ancient measurement and can change by the minute if you eat or fart or inhale....but it was early in the morning, and I had only inhaled. She measured 34cm, which is equivalent to roughtly 34 weeks ish. She kept saying how big I was. Ok shut up skinny beautiful asian doctor ( that i love )
Doc sent me for an ultrasound ( it's annoying, I have to go to a different clinic to have them done ) two days later...which was this a.m.
Obviously anxious, I hopped up on the bed, telling the u/s tech that she better tell me all this pain is due to a big baby. ( I'd rather that be the reason than her say the baby is small or i'm "right on track" )
Sure enough she started to giggle and said she's bigger. As I watched her track all the measurements, the estimator on the screen kept typing out 34 weeks ( plus or minus a few days ) and that threw me. Then once the measurements were done, she said it looks like she is in the 4.6lb range. Giggling again. I was like wtf, what the hell does this mean? I asked if this changes my due date and she said they rarely do that anymore, but she said dec 8-13 is where I have you at, between you and me.
Now I try to take all of this information with a grain of salt. Believe me. I understand these are wild estimates and could be off by as much as 2lbs. But I know what I saw, I know what I feel and I do believe that she is big. This is how I felt at 39 weeks with Bryn.
I dont go back in til November 6th, which is a freaking long time, considering Lennon should gain another 2.5lbs by then. Doc isnt fond of inducing, but in my case she maybe.
So I'm shoving my anxiousness aside, and filling my time with prayer, sewing, halloween events, and a client or two.
Monday, October 1, 2012
update
No preterm labor. Bladder infection was irritating my uterus causing contractions and back pains. Thank the good Lord. So a week of antibiotics and watching for timeable contractions it shall be. But boy does my back hurt.
I have a training session tomorrow, frankly I'm nervous, but I know he'll go easy on me. I know it'll give me some relief. I'll also have a chiro appt to get my hips back in order.
We found out Dan's student loans are jumping up by a significant amount. Mind boggling really. So I got back onto mint.com, I forgot how great of a budgeting site it is. AND it gave me some peace. Our spending always gets out of hand ( and eating out ) over the summer months. Now that it's fall, I'm in the mood to cook more, and of course start eating better. Trying to make the transition to working out/getting back on my diet plan after birth, a little easier. My goal this month is to LOSE 2lbs. Here's why. People say it cant be done, weight loss in the 3rd trimester. I want to prove that you CAN lose that fat and stay healthy. Now that my appetite is normal I can eat more protein and all the other stuff I was eating while losing weight. I understand this may be frowned upon to some, but doctor gave me the thumbs up and there is no harm in it.
My dad was diagnosed with diabetes a few weeks ago. So on top of gym time for me ( which is really only 3 days a week right now ) I'll be walking a few miles a week with my dad and sister. Speaking of walking, I desperately need some sort of belt to hold up my belly. Not a bella band, something significant. :) If you have a recommendation, I'll hear it.
Hmmm what else...
My sweet little sister is in Hawaii, with surfing the nations. Yesterday marked her one week of being there, and she broke her foot while jumping off a rock into the ocean. 4-6 weeks in a cast. She's obviously devastated and frustrated. But I was reminded that God is gonna use whatever circumstance you're given.
But she could use healing prayers!
Nursery is nearly done. I'm just being lazy now. I just need to do pillows, crib skirt and a wall shelf.
I had a wonderful shower thrown for me, I felt seriously overwhelmed and blessed by all my great friends. I didnt know what to do with myself! It was so special.
I have a training session tomorrow, frankly I'm nervous, but I know he'll go easy on me. I know it'll give me some relief. I'll also have a chiro appt to get my hips back in order.
We found out Dan's student loans are jumping up by a significant amount. Mind boggling really. So I got back onto mint.com, I forgot how great of a budgeting site it is. AND it gave me some peace. Our spending always gets out of hand ( and eating out ) over the summer months. Now that it's fall, I'm in the mood to cook more, and of course start eating better. Trying to make the transition to working out/getting back on my diet plan after birth, a little easier. My goal this month is to LOSE 2lbs. Here's why. People say it cant be done, weight loss in the 3rd trimester. I want to prove that you CAN lose that fat and stay healthy. Now that my appetite is normal I can eat more protein and all the other stuff I was eating while losing weight. I understand this may be frowned upon to some, but doctor gave me the thumbs up and there is no harm in it.
My dad was diagnosed with diabetes a few weeks ago. So on top of gym time for me ( which is really only 3 days a week right now ) I'll be walking a few miles a week with my dad and sister. Speaking of walking, I desperately need some sort of belt to hold up my belly. Not a bella band, something significant. :) If you have a recommendation, I'll hear it.
Hmmm what else...
My sweet little sister is in Hawaii, with surfing the nations. Yesterday marked her one week of being there, and she broke her foot while jumping off a rock into the ocean. 4-6 weeks in a cast. She's obviously devastated and frustrated. But I was reminded that God is gonna use whatever circumstance you're given.
But she could use healing prayers!
Nursery is nearly done. I'm just being lazy now. I just need to do pillows, crib skirt and a wall shelf.
I had a wonderful shower thrown for me, I felt seriously overwhelmed and blessed by all my great friends. I didnt know what to do with myself! It was so special.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
oye.
28 weeks 3 days. Sitting in church today I suddenly felt very odd, instant bad pain, woozy, just felt so weird. Actually reminiscent to what I felt at 40 weeks with Bryn...which scares me. Goin on 5 hours of this constant low back pain now. I'm not contracting, not vomiting, no blood, no loose stool. Just dizzy/heavy feeling with bad back pain. And she's just as active as before.
I have my rhogam shot tomorrow, so i'll be able to talk to the nurse. I may work up the balls to check my cervix tonight if this continues.
Back pain is a normal thing for me. Sciatica is also a trouble of mine. But THIS is different.
Sigh.
I have my rhogam shot tomorrow, so i'll be able to talk to the nurse. I may work up the balls to check my cervix tonight if this continues.
Back pain is a normal thing for me. Sciatica is also a trouble of mine. But THIS is different.
Sigh.
Monday, August 20, 2012
aug 20
just returned from another nice camping trip in 100 degree weather. basically our last trip of the summer, so it was bittersweet. i'm itching for fall though, no doubt.
something strange is happening emotionally to me. as my stomach grows, and i find myself scrambling for clothes, old feelings are returning. the feelings of disgust, feelings that make me self conscious, like i felt when i was 50 lbs heavier. things are not fitting properly, even though my thighs/legs/arms are much smaller, my stomach grows. i was aggressive and threw away all of my fat clothes at the end of my biggest loser competition. i'm now regretting tossing my jeans and a couple tops, because I have nothing to grow into. atleast if i had my jeans i could take them in where needed and let my stomach grow. i basically want to live in leggings this fall. i may have to give in and buy one pair of jeans for the sake of variety.
but i realize these feelings are satan trying to rob me of my joys. he knows my weaknesses and he hunts me daily, but I serve the Lord and therefore He shall win this battle.
if anything, this is just another reminder of where i'll never go again ( uncomfortable with my body/fat clothes)
i'm back in the gym, i nearly cried when my trainer hugged me and told me i looked good. i wanted to cry also because it felt SO good to be back in the gym. even though i panted my way through a pathetic 15 minutes on the elliptical for warm up. trying so hard not to be so tough on myself.
in the meantime, i'm incredibly anxious to hold this baby of mine. i cant stand it.
something strange is happening emotionally to me. as my stomach grows, and i find myself scrambling for clothes, old feelings are returning. the feelings of disgust, feelings that make me self conscious, like i felt when i was 50 lbs heavier. things are not fitting properly, even though my thighs/legs/arms are much smaller, my stomach grows. i was aggressive and threw away all of my fat clothes at the end of my biggest loser competition. i'm now regretting tossing my jeans and a couple tops, because I have nothing to grow into. atleast if i had my jeans i could take them in where needed and let my stomach grow. i basically want to live in leggings this fall. i may have to give in and buy one pair of jeans for the sake of variety.
but i realize these feelings are satan trying to rob me of my joys. he knows my weaknesses and he hunts me daily, but I serve the Lord and therefore He shall win this battle.
if anything, this is just another reminder of where i'll never go again ( uncomfortable with my body/fat clothes)
i'm back in the gym, i nearly cried when my trainer hugged me and told me i looked good. i wanted to cry also because it felt SO good to be back in the gym. even though i panted my way through a pathetic 15 minutes on the elliptical for warm up. trying so hard not to be so tough on myself.
in the meantime, i'm incredibly anxious to hold this baby of mine. i cant stand it.
Friday, August 10, 2012
21 weeks
it's been a helluva week. my dearest friend lost her dad suddenly, and it's been so emotional. so i've been busy keeping her busy, her house clean and trying to be the support she needs in this time of grief. i cant imagine losing my dad right now.
on top of that, bryn took a very nasty fall down the stairs on her trike, knocked out a tooth and obliterated her lips. seriously one of my nightmares. after an er trip and dentist trip, we are on antibiotics and brief pain killers when needed. but truth is she's tough, tougher than me. i was a mess. she's healing nicely now, swelling is slowly going down. we just have to be extra cautious, as the other 3 teeth need to firm up again.
i had my anatomy scan/pertussis vaccine this week. all looks good. she's an active little thing. i'm not sleeping well these days. whether it's my full bladder, or restlessness, or stupid round ligament pain.
I'm at about 4lbs gained now, at 21 weeks. i really, really need to get back to the gym...but there never seems to be a good time. i still need a nap most days and mornings are nearly impossible.
our last trip for the summer is next week to entiat/chelan for camping. i'll be postponing it a day so i can attend the funeral.
on top of that, bryn took a very nasty fall down the stairs on her trike, knocked out a tooth and obliterated her lips. seriously one of my nightmares. after an er trip and dentist trip, we are on antibiotics and brief pain killers when needed. but truth is she's tough, tougher than me. i was a mess. she's healing nicely now, swelling is slowly going down. we just have to be extra cautious, as the other 3 teeth need to firm up again.
i had my anatomy scan/pertussis vaccine this week. all looks good. she's an active little thing. i'm not sleeping well these days. whether it's my full bladder, or restlessness, or stupid round ligament pain.
I'm at about 4lbs gained now, at 21 weeks. i really, really need to get back to the gym...but there never seems to be a good time. i still need a nap most days and mornings are nearly impossible.
our last trip for the summer is next week to entiat/chelan for camping. i'll be postponing it a day so i can attend the funeral.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
week 19
Nearly half way done! I'll be 19 weeks on Thursday. I dont know if it's gone fast or slow, so dont bother asking :)
I fluctuate, but I'm up 4lbs total. I'm gonna slow down on the calorie intake, I got a bit out of control, eating whatever, but now that I can tolerate salads and sandwiches in moderation, I'll be eating more of that. Still havent made it back to the gym though. Too much movement causes me to toss my cookies, so I'm scared.
We went camping last week and I did swim, which felt so good, so I need to be doing more of that. I still get
sick in the mornings, but it's not too big of a deal.
I'll be having another ultrasound next week, the "big" one that does the thorough look at the anatomy etc.
The crib is bought, rug is bought, drapes are bought, still have painting to finish and a couple small items to buy...but they are things that take some hunting. I'm having a garage sale this week, hoping i'll make some cash to complete the nursery. We are on a TIGHT budget.
Dan interviews for a big promotion next week, could use prayers on that one. It'd be a big deal.
I'm anxious for September. I love the weather, the feel, Bryn goes back to school, the fair, weddings, etc.
That's about it for now....
*edit* weighed myself this morning and I'm down 2 lbs....talk about fluctuating.*
*edit* weighed myself this morning and I'm down 2 lbs....talk about fluctuating.*
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Girl!
Long time no blog it seems. We found out we are having another girl, last week. I was so emotional over it. I really did think it'd be a boy, preparing myself for what a different dynamic our family would have, what a change it would be. But to have another girl, I didnt realize how badly I wanted her til I got the news. I am so full of joy. To be able to use some of Bryn's clothes again ( since seasonally they will fit, being as this baby and Bryn will only be weeks apart ) and just small things like that.
I have indeed started the nursery. Painting will be done this week, Rug is ordered, Vintage Panels are ordered, truth be told I could be done with the nursery next week, but I'm trying to slow down and think it through. I'm gone next week anyways, so that'll force me to relax. We'll have a garage sale at the end of the month, which will help with costs of new baby stuff. I went through a lot of stuff last night, and realized I had givin away WAY more than I thought. Clothes wise. Most of the "equipment" I gave away or sold was stuff I really dont need now anyways. Other than the crib, which will be an easy craigslist buy.
I'm still sick in the mornings, throwing up, and nauseous right before bed, but nothing like I was early on.
We've been eating out way too much, mostly because I dont feel like cooking and cant think of anything TO cook, but I really gotta snap out of it.
Bryn's doin good, enjoying summer weather. Loves riding her trike, feeding the chickens and going to splash parks or friend's pools. I'm so very excited that she'll have a sister relationship. There's nothing like it.
I have indeed started the nursery. Painting will be done this week, Rug is ordered, Vintage Panels are ordered, truth be told I could be done with the nursery next week, but I'm trying to slow down and think it through. I'm gone next week anyways, so that'll force me to relax. We'll have a garage sale at the end of the month, which will help with costs of new baby stuff. I went through a lot of stuff last night, and realized I had givin away WAY more than I thought. Clothes wise. Most of the "equipment" I gave away or sold was stuff I really dont need now anyways. Other than the crib, which will be an easy craigslist buy.
I'm still sick in the mornings, throwing up, and nauseous right before bed, but nothing like I was early on.
We've been eating out way too much, mostly because I dont feel like cooking and cant think of anything TO cook, but I really gotta snap out of it.
Bryn's doin good, enjoying summer weather. Loves riding her trike, feeding the chickens and going to splash parks or friend's pools. I'm so very excited that she'll have a sister relationship. There's nothing like it.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
June 17
Thanks for those of you checking in on me :) I am alive. Happy Fathers Day.
I cant tell you how rough it's been. I've never been so sick in my life. On Thursday I turned 13 weeks, and wouldnt you know it, I woke up feeling, dare I say, ok? I didnt throw up for 3 days, I was able to go outside, I even went to Target for the first time in 6 weeks. Torture! It's still early, but this baby is really active. It's bizarre, because I didnt feel Bryn til 16 weeks. I have the case of the disappearing bump, it comes and goes.
We have our girl name, but the boy name is still up in the air.
I have plans for the nursery, but wont start the big stuff til late August.
I'm anxious to get back to the gym, I'm hoping and praying I can go this week, and also get back to eating good foods. Appetite is still a bit wonky though.
For those of you without facebook, here are a few recent pics:
me with makeup, first time in months.
and our sweet 4yr old Bryn
Next appt is in July for my 16th week checkup. Anxiously awaiting the gender scan, trying to persuade the doc to get me in at 18/19 weeks :)
I cant tell you how rough it's been. I've never been so sick in my life. On Thursday I turned 13 weeks, and wouldnt you know it, I woke up feeling, dare I say, ok? I didnt throw up for 3 days, I was able to go outside, I even went to Target for the first time in 6 weeks. Torture! It's still early, but this baby is really active. It's bizarre, because I didnt feel Bryn til 16 weeks. I have the case of the disappearing bump, it comes and goes.
We have our girl name, but the boy name is still up in the air.
I have plans for the nursery, but wont start the big stuff til late August.
I'm anxious to get back to the gym, I'm hoping and praying I can go this week, and also get back to eating good foods. Appetite is still a bit wonky though.
For those of you without facebook, here are a few recent pics:
me with makeup, first time in months.
Next appt is in July for my 16th week checkup. Anxiously awaiting the gender scan, trying to persuade the doc to get me in at 18/19 weeks :)
Saturday, June 2, 2012
june 2
11 weeks, 2 days. I'm down a couple pounds, so no true weight gain yet. I'm still throwing up and the variety of foods I can eat is getting smaller and smaller. My dear Alicia made me chicken salad croissants because I figured it'd last a few days, it's beige and a safe food. It's a vicious cycle with meds: I take a zofran, I break out into itchy bumps on my legs, it SOMETIMES helps nausea but only for an hour or less, so it's a gamble. But I can always bet on constipation ( sorry ) with it, which leads to dehydration, which leads to headaches and other issues. I had two IVs the other day and I did feel pretty good for the rest of the day. Dan's realizing how much I do around the house, as he desperately tries to keep this place together on his own. Poor guy.
I'm sad because today is the mud run that I was suppose to do with family and friends, but alas, I had to say no, and here I sit at home. I'm pouting a bit.
Things around the house are falling apart, one by one. The fridge is poopin out,bathroom faucet needs replacement, we have a lime issue upstairs in the pipes, my SUV needs technical stuff done to it as well as a new starter, the Jetta needs a new belt and a section of the house needs to be stripped and repainted outside. One issue at a time I suppose.
Brynlee is done with preschool, which makes me sad. I look forward to pre-k, 3 days a week in the fall.
I miss my trainer. I miss working out. I'm so anxious to get back as soon as I stop throwing up every day.
I'm sad because today is the mud run that I was suppose to do with family and friends, but alas, I had to say no, and here I sit at home. I'm pouting a bit.
Things around the house are falling apart, one by one. The fridge is poopin out,bathroom faucet needs replacement, we have a lime issue upstairs in the pipes, my SUV needs technical stuff done to it as well as a new starter, the Jetta needs a new belt and a section of the house needs to be stripped and repainted outside. One issue at a time I suppose.
Brynlee is done with preschool, which makes me sad. I look forward to pre-k, 3 days a week in the fall.
I miss my trainer. I miss working out. I'm so anxious to get back as soon as I stop throwing up every day.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Sick Sick Sick.
You all are so sweet. Some of you I havent even met! Thanks for your excitement for us.
Now I need your prayers.
I have been very ill. Pregnancy does not do well with my body, unfortunately. I throw up daily, fight nausea til I fall asleep at night, other unpleasant issues, stomach aches etc. I look and feel like death, 99% of the time. I have immense guilt hanging over my head because I cant entertain Bryn like she needs right now, and my house is slowly falling apart. My bathroom needs to be bombed.
I can tell you that Dan, is superman. I havent done the dishes in WEEKS because he knows I gag, so he just does it. He's done most of the laundry for 4 weeks, done the grocery shopping and ran errands for me. It's a big blessing. I'll be hooked up to an IV in the morning, thanks to him. Hoping I'll get relief with that.
I pray this doesnt last as long as it did with Brynlee. Most foods I CAN eat, are beige. BEIGE. With the occasional green apple, yellow banana. Its the exact opposite of what I was eating all those months to lose the weight. I miss protein.
Anyways, I could go off about that. But really, please just pray for healing, or solutions or whatever. Help!
Now I need your prayers.
I have been very ill. Pregnancy does not do well with my body, unfortunately. I throw up daily, fight nausea til I fall asleep at night, other unpleasant issues, stomach aches etc. I look and feel like death, 99% of the time. I have immense guilt hanging over my head because I cant entertain Bryn like she needs right now, and my house is slowly falling apart. My bathroom needs to be bombed.
I can tell you that Dan, is superman. I havent done the dishes in WEEKS because he knows I gag, so he just does it. He's done most of the laundry for 4 weeks, done the grocery shopping and ran errands for me. It's a big blessing. I'll be hooked up to an IV in the morning, thanks to him. Hoping I'll get relief with that.
I pray this doesnt last as long as it did with Brynlee. Most foods I CAN eat, are beige. BEIGE. With the occasional green apple, yellow banana. Its the exact opposite of what I was eating all those months to lose the weight. I miss protein.
Anyways, I could go off about that. But really, please just pray for healing, or solutions or whatever. Help!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
This is the story I never thought I'd have. I'm shocked.
My period was late, I started to feel awful, and the headaches began. I told Dan to grab me a cheapo pregnancy test so we can rule it out. I get home from working out ( where my boobs felt like 50lb weights when I ran ) took a shower and then realized I needed to take the test. It was an immediate positive. In all the years of testing, I've never had 2 solid lines, they are always so faint I have to look at it a million times to verify. I thought, that's weird, must be a bad test. I had a few spotting episodes and wondered if the blood had turned it positive. But as I went through my symptoms, and realized just how late I was, I yelled for Dan. "uh, it's positive" I said, while washing my hair. He just stood there, dumbfounded. The next few minutes and hours were robotic.
I thought, Ok if this is for real, what does a normal person do when they find out their pregnant? All these years of micro managing my cycle have made me forgot that the average person does not get a very very early ultrasound. The average person doesnt know to ask for a beta number. So I ran up to convenience care, asking for blood draw and beta. In tears I explained my history and that I am in shock and dont know what to think. I asked if I could have a viability ultrasound, but of course they didnt have those machines. After taking the blood, he said it'll be 3 days before we know.
Forget that. 3 days to an "infertile" could seriously mean life or death, and it's eternity. I needed to get a viability test and have my bloodwork, now. I turned around and had an HOUR phone interview with my new doc's nurse discussing my history. She had to run it past the doc in order to get me in this early ( i was 6w) for an u/s.
So my friend hooked me up with her lovely midwife who wrote me a script for a viability ultrasound, sent it in to a lab, and I got in the next day.
Still with me?
Now I'm getting sick. Everything within me is saying, YOU ARE PREGNANT. I have the exact symptoms I had with Bryn.
I went to the appt, and was spoiled rotten by the fabulous technology. At my old clinic, their machines were ancient. So after a few brief hellos and introductions to the nice tech, I dropped trou, lubed up and hellooo nurse. i havent had a transvag in a year, always a thrill. She didnt know my history and my unfortunate wealth of knowledge at this point in the game, so I was explaining to her student what she was looking at and for, what the measurements meant, etc. She got a kick out of it. In fact I saw the heartbeat before those 2 genius's did. I asked, what the heartrate was at, and she said she hasnt seen it yet, I saw its right there ( as I took the wand and moved it around my hoo ha while pointing at the screen. Catching her off guard. The heart was strong at 128. I found myself being very factual, I had no emotion whatsoever. It was weird.
You have to understand, we gave this idea up. We 100% believed that bryn was gonna be it, and WE WERE FINE with it. So to go from that, to, SURPRISE! You're pregnant on your own! Is, earth shattering.
I'm extremely sick, just like with Brynlee. I puke everyday, no meds can touch my nausea, unfortunately. I went from cramming my body with protein and lean foods, to now barely getting protein in a 3 days period, and eating anything I can bare. Which is usually about 5 different foods. I estimate I'll be hooked up to an IV by the end of the week at this rate.
I'll write again once the sickness and shock wear off...
I will note, my conception date was one week off from Bryn's. I'm 10 weeks ( tomorrow ) and heart rate is 168.
My period was late, I started to feel awful, and the headaches began. I told Dan to grab me a cheapo pregnancy test so we can rule it out. I get home from working out ( where my boobs felt like 50lb weights when I ran ) took a shower and then realized I needed to take the test. It was an immediate positive. In all the years of testing, I've never had 2 solid lines, they are always so faint I have to look at it a million times to verify. I thought, that's weird, must be a bad test. I had a few spotting episodes and wondered if the blood had turned it positive. But as I went through my symptoms, and realized just how late I was, I yelled for Dan. "uh, it's positive" I said, while washing my hair. He just stood there, dumbfounded. The next few minutes and hours were robotic.
I thought, Ok if this is for real, what does a normal person do when they find out their pregnant? All these years of micro managing my cycle have made me forgot that the average person does not get a very very early ultrasound. The average person doesnt know to ask for a beta number. So I ran up to convenience care, asking for blood draw and beta. In tears I explained my history and that I am in shock and dont know what to think. I asked if I could have a viability ultrasound, but of course they didnt have those machines. After taking the blood, he said it'll be 3 days before we know.
Forget that. 3 days to an "infertile" could seriously mean life or death, and it's eternity. I needed to get a viability test and have my bloodwork, now. I turned around and had an HOUR phone interview with my new doc's nurse discussing my history. She had to run it past the doc in order to get me in this early ( i was 6w) for an u/s.
So my friend hooked me up with her lovely midwife who wrote me a script for a viability ultrasound, sent it in to a lab, and I got in the next day.
Still with me?
Now I'm getting sick. Everything within me is saying, YOU ARE PREGNANT. I have the exact symptoms I had with Bryn.
I went to the appt, and was spoiled rotten by the fabulous technology. At my old clinic, their machines were ancient. So after a few brief hellos and introductions to the nice tech, I dropped trou, lubed up and hellooo nurse. i havent had a transvag in a year, always a thrill. She didnt know my history and my unfortunate wealth of knowledge at this point in the game, so I was explaining to her student what she was looking at and for, what the measurements meant, etc. She got a kick out of it. In fact I saw the heartbeat before those 2 genius's did. I asked, what the heartrate was at, and she said she hasnt seen it yet, I saw its right there ( as I took the wand and moved it around my hoo ha while pointing at the screen. Catching her off guard. The heart was strong at 128. I found myself being very factual, I had no emotion whatsoever. It was weird.
You have to understand, we gave this idea up. We 100% believed that bryn was gonna be it, and WE WERE FINE with it. So to go from that, to, SURPRISE! You're pregnant on your own! Is, earth shattering.
I'm extremely sick, just like with Brynlee. I puke everyday, no meds can touch my nausea, unfortunately. I went from cramming my body with protein and lean foods, to now barely getting protein in a 3 days period, and eating anything I can bare. Which is usually about 5 different foods. I estimate I'll be hooked up to an IV by the end of the week at this rate.
I'll write again once the sickness and shock wear off...
I will note, my conception date was one week off from Bryn's. I'm 10 weeks ( tomorrow ) and heart rate is 168.
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