I'm kinda back

Hey, I'm back, for a while.
Been preparing myself for the final exam.
Overnight at friend's house with a bunch of crazy gang.
We been doing study group from afternoon till 4am.
McDonald was our 1st location before we move to friend's house.

Hehe. We had 2 sets of Family Dinner Box before we continue our revision.
I made a last minute decision to stay overnight with them later on.
Continued our revision at home till 2am.

We all was seriously mad and crazy.
After the revision, we played DOTA and off to bed at 4am.
Woke up at 7am, and went to college for our 9am paper.
Well I gotta say that this kinda study method is very effective eh.
I think we all might pass the 1st paper.
Gonna have another study spree with the gang tomorrow.
Overnight plan again, fun time.
K peace out.
Cya on the next few days :)

bad decision

I'm supposed to join study group at college.
But I decided to stay at home.
Staying at home is terribly boring.
Spent whole day studying chapter 1.

Saw an interesting quote today

Aim In Life Must Be "6 5 4 3 2 1 0"
6 Digits of Salary
5 Days of Work
4 Wheels Vehicle
3 Apartments
2 Cute Children
1 Sweetheart
0 Tension

i wonder

I'm always around when people need me,
No matter in real life, or e-life.
It makes me wondering,
Will people glad of my existence?
Is there someone who wish I'm gone from their life?
When I was still an emo brat,
If there is someone who wish I'm gone,
I will stupidly disappear from their life,
And do stuff to show them,
Hey, I'm gone now, just so you know okay.
Now, things are kinda different eh.
When I recalled back those attitude,
I feel kinda stupid and retard.

I love to think when I have free time,
But recently, I don't know what I should think.
Things seems to be kinda different now.
Feel like being lost.
What is the reality? What is the imagination?
Why does imagination end up with this reality?
Where am I?
Reality? Imagination? Or in the middle?
Where do you wish to be?
.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Christmas eh?

Christmas night now.

Been doing nothing since the eve.
Slept whole day thanks to Mr. Flu + Mrs. Sore Throat + Ms. Headache.
Gaming during the night time till 5am with buddy who came overnight.

My mind been feeling empty no matter what I'm trying to think.
Buddy randomly picked a song and played it out of boredom.
While listening to it,
My heart suddenly feel so sad.


Such a peaceful night eh?
Merry Christmas to whoever viewing this post right now.

finally

after spending 1 week time doing web-based programming assignment,
we managed to get the highest mark among our group.
Seriously, never spend so much time and effort for an assignment.
Friends are getting closer with each other in this 1 whole week.
We slept together, eat together and code together.
Went to Times Square today for karaoke session with them.
Decided to watch Mission Impossible 4 : Ghost Protocol later on.
Spent our evening chit chatting at a new restaurant there.

It's kinda heartbroken to see Ethan,
Sacrificing everything in his life,
Just to protect his lovely wife.
At the end, he's still willing to watch his wife from far knowing that he can't get close to her in order to protect her.

Well, feel like kinda sick.
Hope I'm gonna feel better before the paper on Friday.

battle battle battle

been battling for the web-based assignment since last Wednesday.
Everyday went to college, including Saturday and Sunday.
Supposed to be done by today.
But a bunch of errors occurred.
Thanks to tutor for allowing us to submit it on this Thursday.
Yeah, gonna fight for another 2 more days.
Feel like kinda getting close with the gang.
We been doing lots of crazy and shit stuff during this tiring week.
And I love this pic lots.

We spend our time and money at college's Paparich for 5 days straight.
Kinda feel bored with it now.
K peace out.
Wanna re-charge myself.

feeling tired and lazy

spent like 7 hours with coding.
This time, we locked ourselves at MU MCD.
Logic is killing me.
Didn't touch Netbeans after I reach home.
Don't feel like doing anything.

In another life,
You would be my girl.
We keep all our promises,
Be us against the world.
In another life,
I would make you stay.
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away.

not bad eh?

9.30am,
sitting alone now at CITC,
Looking at the chilling environment,
Listening to A Thousand Years.

like a bee

Been busy with this web based assignment for few days.
Went back to college today just for assignment.
Can't take it anymore and finally decided to walk around KLCC and Pavilion with a friend after spending 7 hours with all the coding.
Gonna go to college again on tomorrow.
Gonna hit 7 days streak for sticking my ass around college.

Song of the day
I Will Remember You by Sarah Mclachlan

I will remember you.

Will you remember me?

Almost lost my wallet yesterday. (4.18am now)
Feel freaking nervous and went outside to look for it.
Dad called and said there is a guy who came to our house and hand over my wallet.
Feel so glad, although I didn't manage to see that nice person face.
But I think I know where he lives.
Sincerely hope that God will bless this nice person.

Was pretty tired.
Slept at 10pm and woke up now caused of some weird dreams.
Assignment are killing me.
I gotta off to college later as well just to rush the assignment.

1st time watching the MV after listening to the song for 6 months plus.
This song always remind me of you.
You might not know what it has to do with you.
It's okay.
Sigh, I shall back to sleep.

any meaning?

any meaning for that dream??
aigh.
feeling so sleepy now.
class at 8am.

login login

my brain been stuck with the logic of user validation for our assignment.
kinda headache now.
been looking at the laptop screen for whole day.
Was having a deep conversation with a friend this evening.
And she dropped her tears because of assignment.
It makes me wonder,
How hard is it to achieve a good teamwork?

different

everything feels so different now.
Feel like kinda losing direction.
Where should I go?
What should I do?

kinda disappointing

the presentation are kinda disappointing.
Although my group are all pass for the assignment and everything,
I still feel a bit disappointed.
To be honest, among my group members, I'm the only one who are able to present well.
I can actually score much more higher than them.
But the marks given are based on group presentation, not individual.
I have no choice but to follow the natural rules.
I don't blame them, because I had predicted this kinda stuff will happen.
I tried my best to help them though.
But I guess I fail to put enough effort in helping them.
Am I being a selfish person?
I just hope I'm not becoming someone bad in future.
Sigh, feel like crapping lots.
Maybe cause I'm kinda sleepy now.

demanding eh?

No one can be perfect.
But everything and everyone around you will always demand for perfection.
You can never satisfy them.
Gonna have presentation today.
But I'm still sitting in front of laptop and blog.
I'm suppose to be in the bus right now.
Just feel that I should miss it.
Wish I will get hit by something hard.
I wanna close my eyes and my mind for some time,
Ignoring everything in reality for a while.

Life / Programming

Don't know why, I have the urge to blog earlier than usual.
Maybe I'm kinda tired recently.
I realized my logic for programming are getting better.

It makes me wonder,
If life gonna be like programming, things might be a little bit different.
I can code whatever variables for everything in my life,
Build as many classes I want to store it,
Create whatever functions I wish to run it,
Developing any logic I like to link it,
Every pieces of coding represents every element in my life.
Every errors occurred represents every obstacles in my life.
When I successfully develop a perfect program,
I will feel satisfy for it,
Just like how satisfy you feel for your life when you finally get what you want.
But hey,
There is only 1 different between programming and life.
In programming, you can delete everything and restore it back with a backup data/file.
In life, you won't have any backup file.
Programming can be run with many cycles,
But life only have 1 cycle.
No matter what's gonna happen in your life,
Face it, don't sit there and "emo".
That's kinda waste of time.

Feeling Empty

Didn't talk at all today.
Feeling so empty.
Tried my best to fill up myself with works, assignments, and even games.
But still, I don't feel like a normal person.

Human, lives their life depending too much on "If".
Everyone need a "if" to motivate and improve themselves.
Some died because there's too many "if" in their thoughts.
IF all the things happening now is just a dream,
I wish I wont wake up.
I will continue fighting in this dream.
There are too many things I wish to understand.
Love and bonds, is one of it.

"Cause there'll be no sunlightif I lose you, babyThere'll be no clear skiesif I lose you, babyJust like the clouds,my eyes will do the same if you walk awayEveryday, it will rain,rain, rain"
It Will Rain - Bruno Mars

Ah

How well do I understand you?
Yeah, I'm an idiot.
I had a bunch of time to know you.
But instead of that,
I spent it all on stressing myself up with the event.
Such a waste.

What's actually going on with you?
Deactivated your Facebook?
Removed me from your Skype?
I won't whine.
All I want is to know whats happening.
You know I will be sad
And I can assume you are suffering and trying to avoid me.
Texted you, and I believed you might even ignore the text.
Everything happening now is much more worst than I ever feel.

You become one of the people who brings big impact to my life.
Last time,
Every single thing happened will caused me being emo all the time.
But you?
You made me realize that everything you done,
No matter it's gonna make me happy, unhappy or feeling down,
The day still goes on.
At the same time, I keep telling myself that everything gonna be fine somehow.
Even now, I still hope things gonna be fine sooner or later, no matter how impossible it is.
Your presence in my life, has changed me a lot, although no one realize about it.
Sorry for hurting you.
Sorry for making you suffered .
Sorry for not realizing what's happening to you.
Sorry for not knowing what I have done to you and your feeling.
I wonder if you ever read my blog all this time.

What's Going On?

Is everything alright for you?
I wonder why you deactivated your Facebook.
I know I might sounds silly,
But I wish you will pop-up somewhere and tell me what's going on.
I'm worried about you the whole day.
I'm worried about you the moment I saw this
"The page you requested was not found"


"i think u are a really good friend, when i'm sad and youre always thr for me."
Remember this?
This is what you told me few months ago.
I know you are having hard times although you always told me you are doing fine and good.
But I choose not to ask more because I don't want to force you.
I don't know what's the stuff bugging your mind right now,
But hey silly, my ears are always available for you.
Hope you are doing fine there.
Miss bugging you on Skype.

never easy

Today's weather are pretty nice.
While walking early in the morning,
Inhaling the fresh air,
Walking under the beautiful sunshine,
I looked at the clear skies,
Wishing for something miracle to happen today.
But seems like fate need me to wait for a little longer.
Waiting can never be easy.
Don't make it harder by not knowing what we are waiting for.

Something Missing

Feel like there's something missing in me.
I feel so dull all the day.
Thought of sharing some stories with sis Pui Kei.
But blehhh,
She said she don't want to know.
Feel more dull.
Oh hi Pui Kei!
I know you gonna read this, since you asked me to blog bout you today.
I WANNA GO SLEEP NOW!
PLEASE SAY GOOD NIGHT TO ME ON MSN NOWWWWW!
ugh.
speechless.
peace.
out.

Demotivated

Many things to do.
Many technical issues occurred.
Web-based programming is getting more challenging.
Compare to Assignment 1,
I can easily think of the logic of every linking.
But now Assignment 2,
I can't even build a simple HTML file.
It's not hard though,
But I'm stuck with the logic of building and linking what kinda page etc etc.
With the additional of database features,
I'm feeling so demotivated.

Feel that you might having problems.
Hope everything gonna be fine for you somehow.

If you are stuck in a river, it's best for you to swim with the current flow.
Let everything to go with the flow.
You might end up somewhere.
At least there's still some hope for you.
You can choose to go against the flow.
You might end up floating at the same direction for a long time.
You might get stuck in the river, with no hope at all.

Recently, I always told myself.
"Follow the flow, 顺其自然"
I realized that if I've been pushing a lot of things,
Things might stray away from its flow.
At the end, everyone gonna suffer over the consequences.
I should just take it slowly.
But, flow is a very complicated yet amazing thing.
There are some flow which will bring you to a road of giving up.
If you're not willing to give up,
You can become a wind, blowing around and create a new flow for yourself.
And that flow, might bring you to a different result.
A brand new journey.

Maybe

Sometimes I might be a lil bit disturbing.
I guess I shall control myself from time to time.
It's very rare for me to blog early in the morning.
I just don't want to make any silly mistakes again.
Gonna off to college soon.
Be back later

Ugh

What a day.
Database assignment need to redo.
Not only my team, but also the whole tutorial group.
Wish to blame someone, but that's not important anymore.
I just wanna complete all the assignment.

Seems like you are busy with your studies.
Wish you are doing good.
Was lectured by a friend today.
A lot's of stuff flying around my mind.
I guess I should stop thinking and off to bed.
Good night. Peace.

Updates Updates!

Yeah, kinda lame title.
My brain kinda malfunctioned a bit caused of Maths assignment.
So, what happened recently?

Went to Perak yesterday.
Was a "Not bad" trip with a tour group.
Most of them are senior citizen.
I realized they do enjoy their life till the end.
They loves to sing those old Chinese songs and they loves to share their stories with each other.
And it's kinda sad to see some of them are alone during the trip.
Am I going be just like them someday?
Imagine 40 years later, I'm singing "A Thousand Years" to my child/grandchildren.
It's gonna be awkward :P
Well, if you wanna know more bout the trip, do visit my Facebook.
There's photos available for you.

So,
Just done my presentation today.
Glad to know my group get the highest for both assignment and presentation.
Thanks for your wish as well :P
Slept like a boss during Maths lecture.
Yeah, overtired after a trip.
While walking out,
My lecturer met me and said I look handsome today. X)
Such a nice and funny lecturer. I like her so much. Gonna score her paper no matter what!
Kinda guilty cause I slept during her lecture though. :P

Everything seems to be awesome today.
A great quote for myself,
"Sometimes, what you want isn’t what you get. But in the end, what you get is so much better than what you wanted "
I'm sure you are sleeping like a beauty right now.
Well, hope you gonna sleep tight.
And I'm off to bed too.
Wanna continue my sleep :P
Peace out! :)

what's wrong with me?

I don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm supposed to attend for a college event(ATCL) gathering tomorrow morning.
But instead, I choose to follow my family for a trip to Ipoh.
Is kinda last minute decision.
I'm not sure why I did that.
I don't know what will happen next.
Kinda confusing.

A Thousand Years

Heartbeat fast,
Colors and promises.
How do be brave?
How can I love,
When I'm afraid to fall.
But watching you stand alone,
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow.

One step closer.

I have died everyday waiting for you.
Darling don't be afraid,
I have love you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more.

Time stands still,
Beauty in all she is.
I will be brave,
I will not let anything take away,
What standing in front of me.
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this.

One step closer.

I have died everyday waiting for you.
Darling don't be afraid,
I have love you for a thousand years.
I will love you for a thousand more.

And all along I believe
Time would find you
Time has brought your heart to me,
I have love you for a thousand years.
I will love you for a thousand more.

A song from Christina Perri.
A Thousand Years.
Believe it or not,
I typed out the whole lyrics,
Without referring to or copy/paste from any sources.
Been listening to this song over and over again since yesterday.
Yeah, the only song in my playlist.
What's my mood?
I think the song explains everything.
So much things in my head recently.
It's not that I'm being silly for not sharing it.
But I can't find the right person.
Even there is 1, I'm not sure whether the lil one are willing to hear my problems.
Have the strong feel that no one gonna read this part.
They might immediately close the tab when they see the lyrics.
But if you manage to get to here, thanks for reading.
Im tired, peace out.

I Blames Myself

For everything happened on me, it's all my fault.
I blame it all to myself.
If I'm a good leader, things like that wont happen.
The whole event will end with a happy ending.
I'm such a failure as a Program Master.
No ones know how sad and heartbroken I am during the Actual Night.
Everyone doesn't know I cried the moment I can't take it anymore.
The moment I feel that I'm not needed by them anymore,
They doesn't look at me at all.
They doesn't tell me that I'm no longer needed to control the night.
They did it like,
"You are not trusted anymore. I don't need you for tonight. I don't have time to tell you."
I burst out my tears in front of my adviser and few friends.
They do feel bad for me, but they can't do anything.
At that moment, I have no one to voice out my feelings.
It is the most lonely moment I ever feel.
I don't blame them when the event is much more important that me.

During the post mortem,
They admit their fault for causing some big mistakes.
I don't blame them for the walkie-talkie issue.
I just doesn't like the way they show that I can't control the night and they have to take over me.
I don't like when they doesn't tell me that they have to take over me.
All I want is a proper apologize, and close the whole issue.
But at the end, they blame it back to me.
They blame me for being weak.
I don't wish to continue the argument anymore.
Everything seems to be pointless for me since that night.
I fail in everything, and I don't think I have the right to defense myself, proving I'm right.
I don't blame you guys, because I know the event is very important to you all.
But you know? The event is important for me as well.
I put my spirit, my heart, my time, just like you all, everything just for the event.

I rather take the blame, but out of 80 people from this event,
No one knows how deep the guiltiness I feel in myself.
Everything that happened is all because I'm not strong enough.
Everyday, I been thinking of things happened during the event.
No one knows I had nightmares.
I dreamed of everyone opposing me in meeting.
Everyday, I think of what I will do in the next OO.
No one knows how badly I want to fix my mistakes
No one knows I miss everything so much.
I miss the moment everyday sitting in Mr Yik's room, listening his words.
I miss the moment everyday taking bread from the shop.
I miss the moment I laughed with everyone.
I miss the moment I accompanied you while you waiting for bus.
I miss the moment watching your silly smile.

Some people said I should move on and forget everything.
But when there's a thing that can make you drop your tears, that will be the most unforgettable thing in your life.
I done too many mistakes in this experience.
It caused me lose a lot of things that I wish to have like other people.
End of rant, end of tears.

Feel so silly

I'm such a silly.
Have the feel that I said something wrong.
Here comes again.
The problem of having a complicating mind.
Sorry if I said something wrong.
Forgive me If I done something wrong.

Pantun-Memantun

Kalau ada jarum yang patah,
Jangan disimpan di dalam peti.
Kalau ada silap sepatah,
Jangan disimpan di dalan hati.

Arak-arak kelapa tuan,
Tidak tuan kelapa bali.
Harap hati kepada puan,
Tidak puan siapa lagi.

Bulan mengambang bulan purnama,
Laut meluas laut biruan.
Nama si jelita fikiran bergema,
Rupa si jelita hati kerinduan.

I'm not drunk and you are reading it right.
I'm just voicing out my thought and I'm doing it right.
Peace.

Dreams

I had a dream last night
I know I'm not a good looking guy.
All I have is my heart and my thoughts.

Life is Too Short

Finally finished my assignment.
Seriously, it's kinda tired when there's some teamwork problem.
Doesn't even feel like speaking of it.

Today outing is kinda dull.
A friend of my friend was murdered at her hometown, Alor Setar.
Kinda big news as well since it's in the news headline.
A little bit of heartache watching my friend being dull and moody.

Pavilion and Times Square are getting ready to celebrate X'mas.
Nice decoration here and there.
Have a sudden thought that maybe I should ask you out to see the beauty of the city.
Life is too short for you to keep wishing for something, but at the end, you done nothing.
Learn how to seek for chances.
Ah.
Gloomy day. Gloomy mood.
Peace out.

You Are

Yeah you are the cure for my stress.
Been stressed out for this few days.
For the first time,
I feel kinda relieved while doing the assignment.
Thanks for your time although you are busy with your stuff as well.
Hope you are sleeping tightly right now.
I need to sleep as well.
Tomorrow gonna make a full stop for the assignment.
Peace out.

Is it me?

Is it me who think too much?
I've been waking up every 1 hour just to check your reply.
I thought of telling you something that been bugging my mind day by day.
I guess I will just keep waiting.

Assignment progress is terrible.
Midterm later.
This is tough for real.
I might just scream out loud any moment.

So Many Things

Gonna be hectic starting from tomorrow
Assignment, midterm, and midterm.
And I failed my programming lab test today.
This is the first time I feel kinda disappointed of myself.
Compare to previous semester,
If I fail any coding test, I wont even give a shit about it.
Maybe because I don't really give my heart for the subject.
But this semester,
I tried my very best to understand every single coding and logic during practical class.
But seems like I need to be more hardworking.
Starting to feel kinda mentally tired.
I need more encouragement and motivation.
But no one gonna know.
Peace out.

Surprise

So, my course mates had thrown a surprised belated birthday celebration for me.
But too bad, I can't enjoy much because of my current health.
All I can do is maintained my smile.
Although there is still some missing pieces in my heart,
I'm still glad for their effort.

I remember there was a moment I asked you,
Why do you love to run?

Right. Peace out.

What If

I die young?
Had this silly conversation with dear Pui Kei today.
It was just a sudden thought.
What's gonna happen if I die young?
Will all the friends gonna come and bid the final farewell?
Are they gonna remember me forever?
Is there anyone gonna feel regret for everything?
Will there be anyone who feel glad that I'm finally gone?
Life can be that short.
Death might be the only way for us to realize who's our love, our friends, and our foes.

No worries.
Nothing happen to me.
Except my asthma are kinda serious and I've been coughing for whole day as well.
And I'm not gonna suicide or something.
This is just some random thought.
Peace out.

Midnight Movie

Yeah. Kinda first time in my life.
Free ticket for 2011 movie at TGV One Shamelin.
Get to watch Rise of The Planet of Apes again.
First impression of the cinema quality is totally fcuked up.
Movie was at 12.05am, but it started after 12.40am due to some technical problem.
I bet most of the customer has come to conclusion that the cinema is gonna be very crap in the future.
But not for me, since the cinema is just started to operate.
All the staff are new as well.
They might need more time to cope up with everything.

I don't feel so good recently.
Asthma again.
Breathing is such a hardcore for me right now.
Peace out.

Action or Imagination?

Life is all about action or imagination.
Some people like to imagine about something.
Imagination will caused you much more confused whether it will become real or not.
Let's have a Vincent's Case as an example. (Yeah it's me)

I was thinking of something this morning.
I'd been imagining what will I do, if it becomes real.
The imagination of case "It's real" was getting way more far and ridiculous, although it's all about what I wish for and it's making me feel very glad of it.
When the case became "What if it will not happen ever?", everything I imagined had become nothing but just an imagination.
And all of sudden, it teared my heart apart.
With all this, I confused of what will and should happen next with the little imagination.
I figured out that I should just take some logical actions.
Why so?
I believe that if there's an action taken, you might at least have a chance to turn your imagination come real and also know the result of your action so that you wont feel confused anymore.

Yeah. I hope you people will understand this post.
Sorry for any bad grammars.
I feel like I been crapping again in this post.
Peace out.

Most Disappointed Birthday Ever?

Yeah.
I guess I just had it today.
Heard a conversation between my parents.
Seems like my birthday is their wedding anniversary as well.
The only hurtful thing is, they remember that but seems to have forgotten me.
No present, no wish, nothing.
If a family doesn't even care about their children's birthday,
I don't see a point why should I care about my birthday from now on.
I'm starting to hate my birthday so much
A real disappointed day in my life.
And I think miracle doesn't always happen though, not even if its your birthday.
Sad.

But still, thanks to those who wished me.
Thanks to chubby Leng for buying me a cake.
Thanks to you as well, for being the last person who wish me through text.
I feel glad. honestly.

Terrible Day

My mood is terribly down today.
My mom lectured me early in the morning about the family issues again.
Seriously, I'm tired of all this ridiculous hatred chaining this whole family.
Why is it everyone in my family are so greedy, selfish and materialistic?
Why their heart are all blind till there's no sense of love in them anymore?
Why they tried to be fake in front of me?

Honestly,
I'm always jealous of people who are close with their family.
I'm jealous of those who got the love from their grandmother, while my grandmother never think of me as her grandson.
I used to love her very much when I was a kid.
But as I grow up, I see her true color.
She never love me like how I loved her.
All the lovely treatment, are all fake from the start till the end.
My mom told me that when I was young, my grandma abandoned me although she knew I'm sick.
My aunts and uncles are all richer than my family. And it makes them showing their materialistic attitude to my family as well.
I'm totally speechless about this family.
I don't know how to love this family anymore.
Tears wont flow for this family because they are not worth for my tears anymore.
2 more days and it will be officially 6 years of my life of not getting any love from the family.
I have been a lonely person for 6 years.
A son who wake up at 6am everyday, went to school early in the morning, back to home at evening or night, and spend most of the time alone in room.
I lived with this kind of life for almost 6 years.
Not even a single person in my life know about my pathetic fate.
It's a shameful burden on my shoulder, something that I don't wish to share out with anyone.
"Sometimes, the person who tries to keep everyone happy, is the most lonely person"
This quote is true.
Life can be so unfair sometimes.
Peace out.

Silly Brain

brain malfunctioning.
over-thinking.
feeling down.
*bangs head*
silly silly silly silly.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


Remembered you said you love cupcakes.
So yeah, I brought it for you the other day.
But you didn't come.
Still, kinda lucky though.
Cause the cake started to taste kinda weird.
Natural of cheese.

Feeling down tonight.
Grabbed a cupcake from refrigerator.
















Omg! Today post sounds damn silly and retarded.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
*continue banging head"
*self-slap*

Talked to dear sis about my feeling
But seems like she's much more worse than me.
Yeah sis, if you are reading this.
That guy doesn't worth your time.
I don't wanna see you being silly and let yourself getting hurt again.
I shall just slap the shit out of that guy for not appreciating you.
And yes, you still have me to love you.

A boy asked an old man,
"Which one is more important? To love or to be loved?"
And the old man replied,
"Which one is more important for a bird? The left wing or the right wing?"

The old man is wise.
A bird cant live without both sides of the wing.
Just like human.
They can't love without being loved.
They can't be loved without showing their love.
Now, it's pretty clear that I'm still waiting for my other side of wing.
Sad.
Peace out.

You'll Be In My Heart

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always

You know?
There is a quote I read from Facebook.
"I hope someday you'll find all my quotes, all my words, all my songs, and read them all, listen them all. I hope you'll know that they're all about you"

Honestly,
4 more days left.
I know nothing gonna happen on that day.
It will be just a normal day.
I learned that we shouldn't always wish for anything, because the more you wish for it, the higher possibility it wont happen.
But I guess I'm allowing myself to have a small wish just for that day.
I wish a little miracle will appear in my life on that day.
Sigh, feel kinda crap for today post.
Sorry for any inconvenience.
Peace out.

Yeye

Yeye (British slang for yaya)
Been relaxing for this whole Saturday.
Decided to start Behavior Science assignment after dinner.
Guess what,
I managed to puke out 5 pages of words about workers motivation theory.
Feel kinda relieved.
Besides, the assignment only required 10 pages including front cover and etc. :P
Well well, Becca won iPad from lucky draw.
I r kinda jealous.
But I still loves Android :)

First Storm

This week seriously a hectic week.
2 mid term test today.
And finally settled the Web Based assignment.
I need to rest for a while before moving on to the next assignment.
Not feeling well now. Headache, feeling dizzy and wanna puke.
Sucks to be me.

Running is not a very simple stuff to do.
I realized of this after playing that silly but challenging game.
Replacing that dummy with you,
I'm sure you did hell lots of training to achieve what you have now.
Gonna play a few more rounds and off to bed early.
Oh, One Shamelin is finally opened!
Peace.

Tiring

Been rushing a lot of stuff this few days.
Web based assignment and few mid term test in a week.
There's still few assignment waiting for me next week.
Never been this busy before for studies.

Passed by the field today.
Saw you having class over there.
Sorry for watching you.
Glad to see you although you are far away from me.
Everyday, the Skype is there.
But I doesn't have the courage to bug you.
So near, yet so far.
Hope you are doing good.

The Past

Had a bad dream last night.
Was in a room somewhere in college with all the OO committees.
Everyone was there waiting for me to conduct the meeting.
When I started to say something,
Michelle stood up and yelled, "Alright! Meeting dismissed!"
Yeah, all of them leave the room with laughter and chattering sounds were all around the room.
No one look at me.
I saw Denise. She looked at me and said, "Sorry Vincent!" with a big smile on her face.
The whole scene make my heart feel so pain.
The feeling of being opposed by everyone I care.
I sacrificed my entire time for the event and for them.
That's not what I wish to get.
The past really haunting me so much.
I wish to forget bout it, but the more I want to join back the event next year, the more memories I will recall back.
Everything is just like it happened yesterday.
I'm glad it's just a dream.
I'm glad you are not in the dream, laughing at me.

Feeling Down

What am I thinking?
My best buddy finally got a girlfriend.
I should be happy for him, but instead, I feel so down.
I used to give him advises bout girls.
But now, I have no one and he got someone.
At the end of the day, he even asked me to go back 1st while he wanna stay awhile with his girl.
I know I should be mature.
But even mature have the right to feel so down.
Sighhh

Applet applet apllet

Sigh
Applet is very challenging.
Need to understand the logic beneath the logic.
So stress now and tired.
Got back my IC.
Peace out.

Unbelievable

Just a short notice.
I think I lost my IC card.
Just 15 days before my birthday.
Fml.

And I can't believe I spend my time doing Applets and coding since yesterday.
Feel so hardworking lol.
Unbelievable.

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Love is a word that strong enough to make someone goes crazy, does stupid stuff, or be a very lovely person.
I experienced "crazy and stupid",
But I'm not sure whether I'm qualified enough for "love"
I did something crazy and stupid enough just to prove my love.
But things went terribly bad.
When I recall back those memories,
I gotta agree that I'm such an immature and silly person.
Silly me, silly world, silly you.
Peace out.

A Boy? A Man?

Who am I?
A boy? Or a man?
There's a saying,
"A boy will tell you he loves you. A man will show you he loves you"
It has different meaning, depends on how you interpret it.
Some says it means action are louder than words.
But me?
I think it means that a boy says it without knowing any meaning of the words.
For a man, he shows the meaning of the words because he understand it.
Teenagers nowadays,
They tend to keep telling each other "I love you dear!"
But how many of them really understand the meaning of their words?
How well they are able to show their loves?
Only their hearts know the answer.

Back to the question again,
I think I'm a boy who are growing up to be a man.
You know? I wish to tell someone that I love her.
And at the same time, I been thinking how to show my loves.
The road is tough to be honest.
I don't know what's gonna happen. No one knows.
And here comes a saying,
"To travel is much more better than to arrive"
People always wish to get something they desire.
But not many people used their heart to experience the journey of their destination.
Compare to the other people around me,
I prefer enjoying whatever stuff that's going on in my life.
From there, I can learn a lot of things which not many can understand.
That's how I see life.
What about you? ;)

Unusual Experience

Just came back from Cyber Cafe.
Before we back to home,
Me and my buddy decided to walk around those shops.
3am walk actually.
The alley are kinda dark.
And there was 2 Indian fellow walked pass us.
We knew something doesn't feel right.
Before we can do anything, 1 of them already standing in the middle of us.
He asked lighter from me and my buddy and keep asking where we stay and why we are here.
Later on, his mate joined him and started to talk shit like "Give me RM50 now,cheebye!"
We immediately turn to another alley which have few people there setting up their stall for morning market.
That 2 fcuker back off when they realized what we are doing.
1 of them said "Don't let me see you two again"

After this incident,
I feel that it is hard to make decision in this kind of situation.
We don't know what action we should take.
Me and buddy discussed the pron and cons of our action.
We came to an agreement that if there is a necessary of fist fighting, we might need to do it to save our life.
But if that 2 bastard have weapon hidden somewhere, we might fcuked up ourselves.
Man, till now, both of us feel like wanna take revenge on them.

Do You Realize?

I saw you walking to the LRT.
And I don't have the guts to catch up with you.
I don't know what am I doing.
I'm kinda lost control over myself.
Hate the feel of being a loser.
Is been a month since the last time I met you.

You know?
You are amazing enough for me to recognize you although your back are facing me.
Sigh, I don't know what and how to continue this post.
My mind are so confusing.
I'm kinda miss you.
Sorry if this post make you feel that I'm a horrible person or a stupid stalker.

Twice

Think twice before you make any moves.
Been through few matters today.
Make me realized that we should really think twice or maybe more than that before we take any actions.

Sick Day

Yeah. Me still sick.
Why everywhere also got air-condition?
LRT, class, and lecture hall.
And the worst is,
Today is a raining day as well.
I'm sneezing non-stop at this moment.

Went for a small briefing for a small event.
Not sure whether I can make it or not.
Maybe I should give it a try.

Announcement!

Me just took flu medicine!
Gonna fall asleep anytime!

Today saw my OO finalists having their small gathering.
I bet they might forget me.
Or maybe they already decided that I'm a shit leader.
But still,
I'm glad their bond with each other are so strong.
Hope everything will goes fine for each and everyone of them :)

Finally!

Damn!
Finally I'm kinda down.
Sore throat all of sudden.
And now having a symptom of flu.
Sign of me getting sick soon.
The last time I'm not feeling well,
If I'm not mistaken, it is somewhere around June.
Many works and less time to rest because of OO (not whining).
Gonna suffer a lot now!
Haizz.

Monday

Man, I gotta say that I'm totally sucks in thinking title for daily post.
Went to Jusco Wangsa to have our lunch.
Planned to support McD.
But wtf, they don't have french fries and sets.
Make us don't have the mood and we left for KFC.
The gang are crazy because we talked a lot of craps.
Later on, we made unpredictable decision as usual.
Which is hanging around KLCC for a while.
Tried to go for the Beauty Expo because I'm the only male in the group, with 5 girls.
No choice, they are the boss.
But plan fail because the fair on today is just for businesses agency.
So, we bid our farewell and I walked from KLCC to Pavilion with 2 girls.
My 1st time discovering the route from KLCC to Pavilion :D
Been wondering about that for a year.
Grab Red Bean Milk Tea again from Chatime.
I'm seriously addicted to Chatime.
But not as terrible as those friends who always checked in Chatime everyday :P
I'm sleepy.
Gonna off in a bit.
Sleep tight.
Sorry for bad English and etc.
I'm sleepy after all :P

:)

Been thinking to blog,
But I don't know what to blog.
Or more specifically, I don't know how to blog bout what's in my mind.
Well,
I came across some horoscopes stuff in Facebook.
It makes me realize that horoscopes is kinda amazing though.
The descriptions about Scorpions' personalities are almost 90% correct.
I viewed yours,
And it makes me think that I should really get to know you.
Is your personalities are exactly like what the descriptions said?
Humans are a very special being created by God.
And horoscopes was created by God Himself as well.
It's truly mysterious how horoscope can connected with human's personalities.
It makes us curios about ourselves.
And yeah, it makes me curious about you.
Sorry for saying such a silly and "creepy" thing to you if you are reading this.
Watched Narnia again today.
The ending song are quite catchy for me though.
There's Place for Us by Carrie Underwood 

Well, good night :)

Silly trouble

Forget to remove the fake birthday date on another unused Facebook account.
3 people fall for it.
Feel so bad about it though.
But then,
It's clearly show that people rely too much on Facebook.
I believed not many people gonna remember my birthday after all
And all the days in a year,
I hate my birthday the most.
I don't celebrate it because no one gonna celebrate it with me.
Not even my family.
I celebrated it once, and it end up with lots of hurtful memories.
But still thanks to my sisters who willing to prepare surprises for me.
Everyone gonna be busy this year.
So, I guess I'm not celebrating it as usual.
Will be another torturing day again for me.
Countdown 35 days.

Understanding

How well you understand about life?
How well you understand about yourself?
A friend been discussing bout these complicated stuff.
I didn't listen much.
Don't feel like listening at all.
Because I have my own perspective.

The more you think about yourself,
The more you wondering about the meaning of your life,
Things will get more complicated.
Everything has its own flow.
Things happened for its own reason.
You don't moan for the past.
You don't hope too much for the future.
You just have to let go the past,
And learn lessons from it.
Life can only be understood backwards.
But it must be lived forwards.

Words

I don't really know what kinda words will make you dislike of it.
Yeah, I feel glad to see some reply.
But at the same time,
Lots of question bugging my mind.
What should I reply?
How should I reply?
What gonna happen if I offend you?
Etc. etc. etc.
Friends always think that I understand girls a lot.
But now, I started to doubt bout myself.
I guess there's still lots of thing I need to learn.

Oh, seems like my rapidPass is technically broken.
Some data updates that caused my pass unable to synchronize with it.
I guess I'm gonna walk pass the counter like a boss from now on :D

Quickie Post

Sorry for the unrelated title.
It seems like I'm currently losing ideas for a suitable title.
Well, celebrated friend's birthday at Suki-Ya Shabu Shabu, Pavilion.
Overall not bad.
But obviously, Shabu One at Lot 10 has much more choices of food compare to Pavilion.

Well, thought today's post gonna be all about the celebration.
But I don't have the mood to do so.
I see you being depressed.
And its make me kinda depressed for some silly reasons.
But still,
Hope you gonna feel better soon.
Sorry for the random pass by.

He Is Amazing

I gotta say this,
LeeHom is an amazing person.
His song are able to change a person,
Just like how Steve Jobs changed the world.


Saw 1 of the top comment there.

It said that;
"Because of this song, me and her finally back together. We didn't talk to each other for a while. So, I sent this song to her, wanting her to know this is how I feel for her right now. 2 days later, we are finally back together."
Seriously, I'm jealous of you.
Dude, if this happen to me,
I will definitely make sure I wont make mistakes again.
Hope both of you gonna be good to each other forever.

Unpredictable

I doesn't even have the feel to blog for today.
But now, here you are, reading my post right now.
What else can I said?
Life is totally unpredictable after all.
Recently, I realized of one thing.
When I wish for something to happen, it will never happen, and bring me sadness and disappointment.
When I never wish for anything, things happen just like its a miracle.
On a very special day of yours,
This miracle do happened on me.
I doesn't even prepared myself for it.
But I do always stick to this quote of mine;
"No matter what happened,let's just follow the flow"

Many unpredictable things happened to me.
Experienced lots of stuff like how our life should be.
Hehe,
I forgotten how I hooked up with this song,
But thanks to it,
I raise up after falling lots of time.

Wondering, when am I able to stand on mountain.

T.G.I.F

Well, today is kinda very special day for me.
First time in this semester,
I squeezed out my brain's juice for Mathematics.
Feel so good for being able to understand stuff taught by tutor.
And I'm able to solve most of the question as well.

I met few special people today.
Right after I finished my lecture, which is the last class of the day,
I passed by someone who kinda have the same face like you.
I met a friend of mine who withdrew my course and enrolled back as Year 1 Student.
Reached home and get a sudden call from buddy to hang out.
Went to cyber cafe and played Counter Strike and Left 4 Dead.
Seriously, this is my 1st time to really have lots of laugh with my buddies
Went to a friend's house and lied down on his bed for a while.
Although I'm a little bit sad of what's happening to me recently,
But still, I'm glad to enjoy this Friday.

Questions

There is a lot of questions in my mind.
But I don't have the answers for all of it.
Kinda tired though to pretend that I'm extremely fine in front of everyone.
A buddy been asking me lots of question.
It makes me questioned about myself.
Do I really understand how you feel?
There are many things I don't know about you.
I remembered you said that you still wanna be friend with me.
But come to think about it,
I'm the 1 who fail to be a friend of yours.
Remembered some stuff about OO
"Its sad to see u treating yrself like this. I really got ntg to say, we tried to help.. but u dont allow yrself to change. and i always have to be thr to fix the mistakes. Gave too much of tolerance, what more do u want from me?"
I know it's already over,
But still, sorry for all the trouble I gave you.
Sorry for being a fail-friend.
Not matter what's in your thought,
If you ever need me,
I will be right there, just for you.

Sunwayyyyyy

Hah!
Went to Sunway with Becca and Rahmat today.
Kinda 4th time in my life to walk around Sunway.
1st time was me attending Kumon Award Ceremony with my family 4 years ago.
2nd time was me rocking the lagoon 3 years ago with my form 4 pals (Debbie, Adrian, Wai Nam, Sze Kei, Weng Fei and forgotten)
3rd time was me doing work for OO 4 months ago.
And this is the 4th time, wanted to chill with my sis and buddy.

Reached there at 4pm.
Been wandering around the mall for food.
Finally decided to go for Nandos
Image from google, sorry didnt manage to capture any pic in Nandos :P

Continue our walk to Daiso,
A Japanese store with everything worth only RM5.
Went to MPH for fun later on :P
Grabbed 1 Redbean Milk Tea from ChaTime.
My 1st try yo!

My Redbean and Becca's Original :)

Went to Popular for fun as well.
We been walking from ground floor to the top floor the whole day.
Tried some pancakes with both of them.
Hawaii Tuna Cheese and ChocoBanana,
Not bad after all :P
Decided to adios around 9pm.
Nothing much to describe except fun and awesome!
Want more pic?
Go to my FB, kty.
Tired! Adios! :P

Chance

Purposely let go few chances today.
I don't know what am I thinking.
So down.

Behavior

Different people have different behaviors.
Glad that I met a lots of people in my life.
I know who is my true friend, and who's not.
Was in a lecture hall today.
There is a girl standing outside the hall and waiting for someone.
A buddy of mine poked me, and said :
"Isn't it good if that girl is her, waiting for you?"
My heart sunk although I pretended to smile.
I don't know what I had done wrong to you.
I'm sorry.
If there's a way to fix it,
I will give it a try.

Change?

1st Practical class for Database.
The lecturer is an ass.
Scolded me and my friends for wearing slipper to the class.
Well, we know slipper aren't allowed in college,
But even the security guards doesn't stop us from entering college.
What's your right to scold us then?
Your brain are too stubborn as well to accept answers from student.
"Your answer is not impossible, but it is very inefficient"
What do you expect from me?
A perfect answer?
I would be glad if you just tell the goddamn answer instead of keep repeating the "impossible and inefficient" stuff on me.
Seriously, your 1st impression for me,
I don't like you much.

A friend been telling me to change and improve a little part of me on how I treat girls.
I don't know what I should change.
Becca told me that maybe I treat girls too good.
She said I need to be bad ass a bit because girls like it.
Ahhh, I don't know what happen to me.
I think I should learn how to know when a girl feel that you are annoying.
I'm seriously sucks at that.

Random

Another day
Without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now I know
How much it means
For you to stay
Right here with me

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

A thousand miles between us now
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Things can come and go I know but
Baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Special Day?

Feel so uncomfortable this whole day.
Been searching for something everywhere I go.
Something that can't be found by my eye.
Only my heart can find and feel it.
But still, I can't find what I want.
And the only thing I feel, is sadness.


Love, it's a special day
We should celebrate and appreciate
That you and me found something pretty neat
And I know some say this day is arbitrary

But it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Love, I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
But you with me
Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete

This song been stuck in my head this whole day while I'm looking for what I want.
Really a special day for me.

Interesting

A friend of mine said something interesting today.
"If a guy still come back after being hurt by the girl, she should just choose to live with him for the rest of her lifetime"
I was thinking,
Yeah, maybe he is right.
Talked to Becca about this.
And she told me,
"That depends on the girl, whether she actually has feelings for him or not"
Well,
Me and Becca come to a conclusion that,
Human beings are difficult to understand.

Anyway,
Tomorrow have class.
I HATE replacement class on Saturday.
FML.

Past

My life is always full with challenges.
Everything that happened, makes me see a lot of things from various perspective.
I been through lots of situation.
Happy, sad, tears, stress, disappointment, etc and etc.

Since I met this girl,
It was my 1st time to see the world.
She taught me how to love someone in this world.
From care become love, love become disappointment,
Disappointment become hate, and hate become nothing.
I learned everything from what I had been through.

When I'm think back what I had done,
Sometimes I feel so silly of myself,
I never sing songs for a girl.
I never worried so much about a girl.
I never kiss a girl before.
I never hold a girl's hand before.
I never cried for a girl like it is the end of the world.
Because of this girl, I did everything above.
Although it's over,
I do appreciate it.

You probably is the 1st person I loved the most, and hated the most.
But thank you for everything.
Every single lessons from you are very precious for my entire life.
I will do my best, to love the one who willing to accept my love.
You probably are in the flight to UK now.
Good luck and all the best for you.
Thank you for everything.

Space

Kinda moody at the moment.
Fail 1 subject.
I'm expecting this to happen the moment I joined OO.
Well, at least my GPA are at the green zone for me to continue getting loan from PTPTN.

Wonder what I did wrong today.
Maybe Becca is right.
Everyone need some space though.
As long as I wont get forgotten,
I should be fine with that.

What You Are

1st time to blog at the evening.
Kinda have the thought that I might forget what I feel for today.
I do realized I'm the kind of guy who always push myself to get something.
When I unable to get it,
I feel depressed, disappointed and emo,
Conclusion = an idiot.

But today, I feel that I'm kinda different.
I didn't get things I want for today.
Instead of being an idiot,
I told myself this time,
"At least you tried your best. Is okay if you didn't get the chance, but everything will work out somehow, someday."
Yeah, guess what?
Good thing always happen the moment you told yourself that everything will be fine.
I'm kinda love today.
And this song,
Is kinda make me feel something special about today (Just for me, not sure about you all :P )

Kinda headache now.
Gonna peace out to bed!
Have a nice night everyone :)

What A Day

Gotta admit the lecture is boring.
I always disagree how the college conduct a Mathematical subjects.
Having lectures for Maths subjects is just a waste of time.
Students wont learn anything from listening and copying a bunch of crap notes.
Practice is the most important.

Doesn't plan anything for today.
But went to TS and watched Johnny English Reborn.
1st time to be inside the GSC Max.
The hall is very awesome.

The movie is good too.
Had a good laugh throughout the whole movie.
Even you are dumb, but sometimes you can be much more successful than a smart person.

My body doesn't feel very well.
Body temperature are kinda rising.
Bones feel kinda tired and pain.
Ughh.
What a day.

New Semester

Finally, 10 more hours till my 2nd Semester.
I believe this semester I will need to deal with OO stuff.
Yeah, to settle down everything.
I know I will have a little bit hard time,
But that's my responsible.

Having a 1st problem right now.
I'm not sure whether I can wake up at 6.30am or not.
Night.

Someone Like You

Was having movie spree for almost 3 days.
Had watched more than 10 movies.
Actually, I'm doing this just to clear my mind from all the thoughts.
All I want is just focus on movie, movie, movie.....

But now, I just realized there's 3 more days left.
I don't even know what I wanna do.
I scare a simple thing from me, will cause a huge complication again.

Come to think about it
You kinda remind me of my sister.
The way both of you talk are kinda same.
Well, I miss talking to both of you.
Is been a while I didn't really chat with my sister, because of her final exam.
Is been a very long time I didn't chat with you, because of I-Don't-Know.

Insane

Went to park with buddy during the evening.
And with the sudden change of plan,
We went to JJ and wandering around till 8pm.
Reach home at 9pm.
Had a movie spree from 10pm till now, 6.30am.
Troy, Clash of The Titans and Hancock.
I gotta blame this insomnia again.
This is insane.
I really don't like this insomnia :(

Here I Go

Always tried my best not to take a nap during evening.
But at the end, I woke up after 7pm.
It makes me unable to sleep at night.
And here I go again, insomnia-ing.

Stomachache at the middle of Lilo & Stitch movie.
I guess I get food poisoning.
Pretty bad luck of me, again.

Started to feel kinda down since yesterday.
Including today as well.
Feel a lil bit disappointed.
Maybe, I should't ZXhwZWN0IHRvbyBtdWNoIGZyb20geW91 .

Ughh. 

Is already 6.11am.

And I'm still awake.
I effing hate insomnia so much!! :(

Torturing

This semester break is very very torturing.
Didn't have much outing.
Everyday been facing laptop.
Facebook, IRC, Tetris, Maple, Mafiacrime, Youtube and Jango.
4 more days before the holiday end.
Result is coming out soon.
Have the feel that I'm going to fail 2 subjects, or more.
Damn.
\o/

Hmmm. Suddenly feel kinda down. Like my heart is
missing something. :(

I'm so scared now.

Mid Autumn Festival

Well, I didn't really celebrate it for like 6 years.
I don't really feel like I'm part of this family since 7 years ago.
Sometimes, I do feel like being Itachi Uchiha, the famous anime character in Naruto.
If you doesn't read the manga,
Itachi Uchiha is a member of Uchiha Clan.
He slaughtered the entire clan to bring peace for the Konoha Village.
He is actually doing a right thing.
Because his clan is full of hatred and greedy enough to overthrow the village.
This same goes to my family.
Everyone of this family are bloody materialistic and greedy.
And because of this, it caused hatred among each other.
I'm being a tool for them since I was born.
I'm seriously tired of their bullshit.
Its make me seriously wanna crush this entire family.
Enough with my "family talk"
Go Itachi!

Well, speak about Mid Autumn Festival,
There was 1 incident happened during the last time I celebrate it.
Yeah, I been holding the lantern and walk around the road with my neighbors' children.
The candle drop of my lantern fell off right on my foot.
It was bloody pain since its kinda big drop.
I immediately take it off right after the candle drop went dried.
As the result, that part of my skin was gone and now,
There is an unforgettable scar...


Well, I feel that tonight post is kinda silly.
K. Shall just sign off and go play some DOTA.
Happy MoonCake Festival to yall :)
\o/~

Wowww

This is sucks.
Insomnia truly killing me.
Just came back from CC with my buddy.
Now I'm bloody energetic and can't sleep at all.
Guess what I'm doing now.
Browsing through my Facebook friend list.
Yeah. I'm gonna check through the 1863 people in my friend list to kill some time.
Wowwww. This is shit. F.M.L \o/

Suffering

Yeah. This is bullshit.
Been having insomnia these few days.
Unable to sleep at the right timing for 4 days straight.
Always sleep at 5 or 6am, and wake up at 12pm.
This semester break is boring.
Didn't do much stuff.
Spent most of my time in IRC (Internet Relay Chat), trolling around like a badass mofo.

Come to think about it,
Im glad to join MafiaCrime, an online text-based mafia game, almost 3 years ago.
I get to know many friends around the world.
Brad and Dale, both are admin of the game and they lived in UK.
Funny friends, and I even Whatsapp Brad recently for fun :P
Dale helped me lots in my studies while I'm in Semester 2.

Cassy, a hawt babe from Norway :P
She is the most sweetest person I ever met in cyber world.
Still remember that I entrusted her with my sexy game account while I'm gone for National Service.

Stan, a badass internet troller from Canada.
He is younger than me like 4 years.
And he taught me how to DOS(Denial of Services)
Thanks to him as well, I learned how to get my own free website :D

Adam, aka RevCo is a very nice person as well.
He is an old punk who lived in California.
I talked to him a lot, and he always give me advice when I have troubles in real life.
There are too many people to mention since IRC is a place for people to come and go.
I seriously have a thought to ask all of them to come over here.
I'm gonna bring them out for KL Tour :P

What a joke!
Can't even believe I blogged about my internet friends.
Well, that shows you how bored I'm.
Oh btw,
I'm gonna try to maı̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̸̨̨̨̨̨̨k­e u wipe your screen.
:P

What's In My Mind?

Lots of stuff.
Don't know who to whine.
Been looking for people to express it.
But either they have no interests, or just speechless.

Someone from the past said this to me :
"Understand yourself, before you understand someone"
Till now, I gotta admit that I don't even understand myself.
What do I want?
Why my life is so unusual than the others?

Yeah, I'm an over-deep-thinking person.
Sometimes, I will over think something simple.
Sometimes, I will think deeply of something.
I'm a very caring person too as a friend.
But if there is someone special to me,
I will become a terrible over-caring person.
This is the only 2 things that make me hate about myself.
When this happen on someone,
Not many of them will really understand me.
They will either hate me, or feel that I'm childish.

There was a girl who do really hurt me because of my bad personalities.
Because of her, I gone through a lots of hurtful things.
Sadness, lies and regret.
It took me almost 1 year to overcome everything.
Thanks to her,
I learned a lots of stuff as well.
But still, it's not enough for me.
Human are just complicated.

Honestly, I stopped being obsessed of your fb profile for almost a week.
In other words, I tried my best not to "stalk" you as much as before.
I am such an annoying bastard.
I know you gonna hate me so much right now

Passed by my old blog
Whenever I look at it,
I feel that
Wow, I'm truly an immature person.
But mehh, blog is still a place for me to whine.
No matter mature or immature stuffs.

A brand new world

After been through a lots of things,
I realized that human are very naive.
They tend to judge you by just seeing how you work.
And they are too lazy to really understand how you work.
When you are sucks, they wont want you to join them anymore.
They refuse to let you learn more to improve yourself
All they care, is the output of the work.
Not your effort, sacrifices and the will of learning.

This kind of people, yes they are very a successful person.
But they are absolute fail for me.
They tend to neglect the meaning of life.
Doing event as a very freshman Program Master,
Is a very hardcore and challenging things.
Because of my weakness, I lost a lots of thing.

Hell yes I'm going to be strong.
But it will take some time.
There is still a mark in my mind and heart.
A very painful memories and feelings.

Facebook are getting no privacy for me.
Barely update any statuses because it's useless when no one gonna care bout how I feel.
When I care about someone, they will think "You are annoying.".
It's ****** hurt, you know?
I'm sure you wont even care.

Debbie is right, FB is getting useless.

Mistake Mistake

What the hell man?
I feel so stupid.
I'm glad that I'm brave enough to find you in chat yesterday.
Glad that our conversation doesn't sounds so cold.
But I'm too happy and it makes me getting hyper / over.
I'm kinda make you feel annoyed.
Sorry for that.
I gonna be good from now on :(

Even send you a message to explain.
Not sure whether it is a right choice or not,
But at least I wish you know how I feel,
And I also did something that are according to my instinct.
Being honest is what I always wanted to be.
Silly me.
Damn.
So scare that you will even ignore me after reading that message
T.T

Friday Exam

Had my Moral paper today.
I reached Block H and bumped with Kar Mun.
Realized that we're gonna have our exam on the same block,
My heart beat so fast.
I don't know what I should do if I meet you.

Didn't see you pass by when I'm in the exam hall.
I been wondering the whole day,
Where are you? Are you having exam today? Why Kar Mun is here while I didn't see you?
Lots of question bugging my mind.
I was the 1st one to finish the paper, the first one to leave the hall after 1 hour.
Sitting at the garden, looking around, trying to figure out where are you and wondering whether you are here for exam.

4.30pm, all the people are out.
I'm still wondering whether I will see you or not.
I finally saw you.
But, I don't have the courage to look at you.
And yeah, you just passed by me, just like that.

Get back to home, checking up Facebook,
And finally realized that you are sad and down for something.
I'm not sure what is it,
But I suddenly feel sad as well.
Sad that I can't do anything but looking at you, telling your friends that you are sad.
They cheered you up, but I'm here, unable to do anything.

Now I'm so down.
Just wanna sleep and dream of you.
Don't be sad, sillynie.
Don't be sad. Sorry for hurting you so much.

What gonna happen?

Saw your latest status.
Feel like you were aiming me (Not sure whether I'm too sensitive or what).
I tried to act like I didn't read it.
But my mind been through a lot of things.
I shouldn't whine at first.

Gonna start my final exam.
Feel a little bit stress up recently.
Really need to work hard this time.

I miss you.
Hope you are doing fine.

What Are Words

Been through a lot of things lately.
I don't know where and how to start.
Barely blog it out because I scare I might cried.
But now, here I am, decided to dissolve the dust away with my tears.

Involving myself in this year OO is really meaningful.
Although at the end, the results are terribly bad in my opinion.
All the people in college are agreed that this year OO is more awesome than previous year.
But none of them know how much the committee and finalists sacrificed.
They don't even know how many things I had sacrificed for OO.

I failed 2 coursework because of OO.
My time management is sucks apparently.
Gotta score well in coming make good test in order to pass my exams.
I'm still lazying around, unwilling to read the notes now.
It's getting nearer and nearer.
Next week is final exam as well.
Need to hush up myself in this few days.

I decided to let go a friend who I think doesn't worth for me at all.
I saw through a lot of things about him.
I feel so hurt to be honest, for what he had done to me at the final post mortem.
Not gonna talk much about this.
Because it's pointless from now on.

And you, Serenie.
I fall in love with you after the OO 2nd PnP.
I still remember the day I miss you so much while you were at Malacca for the SIPMA.
Day by day, I'd be thinking of you, hope you are doing fine over there.
Because of the feelings,
I even decided to promote you as my Assistant right after you are back.
You are the kind of girl who can definitely do the job very well.
I thought both of us can get along very well.
But I'm sucks in controlling my emotion / stress.
I hurt you lots of time.
I tried to tell you everything.
But I don't know why I cant make it.
I just love you, and doesn't want you to burden yourself with my problem.
You tried to help me, but I just keep on pushing your help away.
What a stupid me!
Things getting more hurt when Actual Night is getting near.
Me and you are becoming stranger to each other while you are getting closer to others.
Every time I see you, I can't get near to you.
Because I'm stuck in the middle of trying to be professional in works and also a guy who wanna get your attention.
It's very painful for me to see you sitting there, while I can't make any move.
I still remember, you promised to talk with me after the Saturday morning exercises.
But instead, you went back home with your junior right after the lunch.
You make me feel like I'm being forgotten by you.
I was down for the whole evening.
When I walking to the escalator at LRT, I met you.
And I sit besides you without saying anything.
My heart feel so confused, doesn't know what to say.
I ridiculously poked you and asked you a question that I wanted to ask day by day.
"What do you think about me recently?"
Yeah. I get what I want and I'm not gonna post it up here.
Things fly to Actual Day.
I'm being pissy at the morning because of some stuff.
I texted you but your reply hurt me so much.
You asked why everything I have to wait for you.
Why can't I settle it myself?
The moment I read your reply, my heart sunk to the max.
I'm not gonna blame you.
All I can do is to blame myself.
I disappointed you on the night.
Really really disappointed you.
I dont even want to defend myself, because everyone will still blame me no matter what.

OO is already over.
You are still being cold to me.
I tried to be cool and date you out,
But your questioning are hurting me deeply.
We barely contact each other.
Everyday, I'd been refreshing your page,
Hope to get your latest updates.
I know it is not a good thing by stalking you.
But that's the only way for me to know things about you.
Saw your latest photo.
You are still that adorable, but I don't know why,
The moment I see the photo, my heart are mixing up.
Sad, nervous and disappointment.

I don't know how to express out my feelings anymore.
Chris Medina's song is very meaningful.
What Are Words.
This is the only song that can suit my feeling everyday.
So disappointed of myself to be honest.
Sign off~

A lot of things

A lot of things happened recently.
Don't have the mood to recall back those useless memories.
Dear Vad finally went to Indonesia for studies.
I'm gonna miss her so much.

And you,
Been stalking your facebook profile for weeks.
Without bugging you and etc.
But today, you poped up at my chatbox.
I do feel glad.
I might realized of something about you.
Not sure whether it is true or not,
I better not telling the world.

Pui Kei's bday coming soon.
Damn.
She been bugging me for 2 birthday present.
My bad for not giving her last year
LOL
Love you pui kei! :)

My Fault

My fault to promote you as my assistant.
I fucked up a lot of things.
You are the one who help me sort out most of the troubles, although I might not realized it.
You seen through a lot of my bad side,
Till you lost the trust on me.
You being cold to me these days.
It feels like there wont be any chances.
It's kinda hurt, you know?

Bleh You

You were MIA for few days.
So, I text you and you get me on fb.
Had really nice chat with you.
But pissed you off at the end.
Hope you doesn't take it seriously.
Love you although you doesn't know it.

A lil sad

A lil bit sad and disappointed.
I brought cupcakes for you.
But you didn't come today.
Haizzz.
Emo le~

What will happen?

A normal morning today
Reach college around 8am
Deal some stuff with Advisor
Did few important things as well
Hope everything will goes well today

Been listening to songs that you posted in Facebook all the time.
Yeah, I'm sorta keep thinking of you right now.
Hope you will have a wonderful day as well.
Gonna have my breakfast and go for lectures.

We argued, We laughed

They argued yesterday.
And we solved it today.
Feel kinda relieved of what had happened.
We pointed out our mistakes,
And we discussed about it to improve ourselves.
You cried, she pissed.
And at the end, you hugged each other and laughed together like nothing happen.
Maybe this is the reason why it happened last night.
So that our bond will grow much more stronger.
Only 1 word can express out my feeling right now,
Glad...

Saw my mom gonna bake cupcakes in the morning.
Been thinking of bringing it just for you tomorrow.
Not sure what might happen.
Feel kinda funny every time you looked at me and asked,
"What's your problem now"?
Feel kinda miss you now.
Heh. Silly me~