Florence and the Machine

Recently discovered band. I like its musical style. Brit. Coincidentally, I realised Leona Lewis is a Brit a couple of months ago. :) I think the music scene belongs to the Brits now. Adele? Huge. Tinie Tempah? Another Brit. Haha. And Steps has re-united as a group. Embarrassing to admit but I like Steps. I had a lot of fun listening to its music in my younger days. Better the devil you know, love's got a hold on my heart, and tragedy (coupled with the cheesy dance moves) are some of the more memorable songs. I used to buy some Brit magazine...can't remember the name and got this Faye Tozer (from Steps) inflatable doll as a freebie with it. My cousin would surely remember that 'cos I brought "Faye Dolly" with me when I stayed over at his place when I was younger. Hahaha. Hilarious. Those were the days. :) Thanks to my cousin, I watched all 4 videos on Steps' re-union. It has been 10 years since they broke up as a band. Time really passes so fast.

Ellie Goulding is another Brit artiste I like. Listening to Lights now. Maybe it's the whole electronic musical style thing. Whatever it is, I like. :)

Another recently discovered drama series, "The Good Wife", starring Julianna Margulies. I thought she looked familiar when I watched ep. 1 then I realised she acted in ER. Can't remember what happened to her character in ER but yes, she acted together with George Clooney. 

Ok, time to log off./

Drive

Good movie. Some very violent scenes...but overall, a good watch. I watched it with my mum. She was quite reluctant to watch it with me at first cos there were no Chinese subtitles but the storyline was quite easy to get. She joked at the end, "I know why they didn't do subtitles for this. They will not be able to translate the foul language into Chinese." Yes, some of the characters were using foul language liberally but I'm sure that's not why there were no Chinese subtitles. Haha.

I like the way the scenes were filmed: in slow-mo, with the retro electronic kinda song playing in the background. Ryan Gosling was completely expressionless throughout the movie. There was perhaps just 2-3 scenes where he smiled. That's it. Pretty hot. Haha. Carey Mullingan! Big love. Brit! :)

Next up has to be Midnight in Paris. Love.

oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh. midnight in paris is showing. i have to watch it. even if i have to watch it alone, i would. okay, there are 2 movies that i really want to watch now. one is "drive", with carey mulligan (hope i got her last name right) and the other is "midnight in paris".

my mum is not interested to watch drive cos there is no chinese subtitles. :( sigghhhhh. i'm contacting a few friends to see if there are available...but it seems they are all busy. it's so sad. it's thru this that i realise my social circle is really pathetically small. this WILL NOT do. but doesn't matter, if i can't get anyone...then watch alone lo. I'm completely ok. :)

i need to watch it really soon before the screening ends. yeahhhh. see how

Ayumi Hamasaki - Ballad ~Rock'n Roll Circus - 7 Days Final ~

I watched this in 3D yesterday! Yes, I watched both of Ayu's 3D concerts in the cinema. I loveeee watching her concerts because the production quality is really top-notch. I embedded the youtube link to one of the songs that left quite an impression on me last night (I actually felt asleep towards the end of the concert movie due to drowsiness caused by the cough mixture). I like this song. It has a "chinese" feel to it, esp. the starting tune.

Ayu mixed some really dramatic stuff in between.  Some love-square story that ended in tragedy. I like it. It's dramatic...but it adds depth to the whole concert. I loveeeee her dancers. My favourite is Maro, the dude who got to hug Ayu towards the end. He's a friggin' good dancer. His eyes look a little fierce but there is this intensity about him that I like. I love his solo dancers.

My favourite Ayu dancer is still the one who did the solo dance for "No way to say" way back in 2003. I don't even know his name but his dance really won me over. Fantastic.

Ok. Gotta bathe. Sldn't bathe too late

random observations

1) There are many kids in sengkang
2) there are few strays around this area

I'll add on to This list...

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new place

I'm at my new place now. Renovation's almost finished. Very last min stuff. My room looks very outer-spacey...grey and silver theme. I don't know. My room looks ok, I guess. some decor may brighten the whole look. The so-called peach painted walls don't look peach at all. they look white? Hmm...

I took a while to walk from the station. Had to walk across a few roads, to my dismay. But it's probably just a matter of getting used to and devising a shortcut. Haha.

Lemme take a photo of my new place.

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future...

Okay. I feel pretty rubbishy now. Our workload just got heavier today. My favourite senior is leaving in less than 2 months. The rules and regulations keeps getting tighter. There are more things to check, more searches to go through, more questions to ask...

But I don't hate my work.

I don't know. What does the future hold. What do I want to do. What should I do.

A Beautiful Exchange

You were near
Though I was distant
Disillusioned I was
Lost and insecure

Still mercy fought
For my attention
You were waiting at the door
Then I let you in

Trading your life
For my offenses
For my redemption
You carried all the blame

Breaking the curse
Of our condition
Perfection took our place

Chorus:
When only love could make a way
You gave your life in a beautiful exchange


My burden erased
My life forgiven
There is nothing that could take this love away
And my only desire and sole ambition
Is to love you just the same

Chorus:
When only love could make a way
You gave your life in a beautiful exchange
When only love could break these chains
You gave your life in a beautiful exchange

Bridge:
Holy are you God
Holy is your name
With everything I’ve got
My heart will sing how I love you

Slipping thru the cracks

My cell had a "serve the poor" visit/ outreach after service today. I felt it has been a very bad few weeks for me because I had to go out so often to shop for stuff for the new home. Really tiring schedule. How self-centred of me. It has always been about me. How I feel, how tired I feel, how my needs are not met, etc. By focusing on myself, I only grew more and more dissatisfied with life but thank goodness that today's visit reminded me a few things that matter.

It is really heart-wrenching seeing the plight of the old and poor here. How they have to keep re-apply for public assistance every 3 months. Yes, EVERY 3 months. This is a measure to prevent the abuse of the "welfare system" we have in place. The old uncle has difficulty speaking because he had a throat operation 2 years ago to remove a growth and had to ask someone to write a "petition letter" to extend his public assistance benefits on his behalf to show his MP. They only have $200 a month for a family of 3, which is really quite a tight budget. I don't know if they have any welfare benefits...but we got some food for them today.

We chatted with the uncle and there was point when he suddenly broke down in tears because he couldn't speak properly after his operation and no one was willing to hire him. He lost his job after he lost most of his voice and was "more than 60 years old". I felt so so bad when I saw him cry. This is really this plight of the old and poor in Singapore. They are stuck in a situation of helplessness...maybe they even feel left behind by society. :(

I can't quite put my thoughts into words right now. There is a lot running thru my mind. We're gonna pray and claim for a complete healing of uncle's throat.

It's interesting, the Christian faith. The bible has so many seemingly "illogical" and "paradoxical" commandments. To be weak in order to be strong? To give in order to receive? To claim what is yet unseen? Today's message is quite mind-blowing for me. To live is Christ, to die is gain? Dying to self. To gain is to lose, to lose is to preserve. 


Have I died completely to self? No. This is probably why I feel my Christian life hasn't been that effective. How has my life changed since choosing to believe in Christ? Too many times, I choose to depend on myself and strive to find worth. I worry almost all the time because I lack trust and faith. I've become double-minded. But to die to self involves suffering. When someone slaps you on one side of your face, you're to turn your other cheek and not retaliate. It's really quite crazy, thinking from a worldly perspective. When someone treats you rubbish, it's only "normal" to treat the other person rubbish right? No, not according to the bible. When you're treated like rubbish, you are still to treat the other person nice, and with love- unconditionally (just as how Jesus loves us). It's seriously high calling. Right now, I'm at the crossroads. Do I go all the way??? Am I even able to go all the way? What does it entail? This involves going through suffering because our sinful flesh fights against the change. It seems natural to act in the flesh. I don't know. Honestly, I'm struggling. I hope to go to the next stage in my spiritual growth too...but that means more sacrifice, discipline, and more discomfort (moving outside of comfort zone). & going by a cost-benefit analysis, I don't know if it is "worth it". But what exactly is worthy, I don't know. Success? Feeling good? Earning all the money in the world? Having a loving family? Finding my true love? Will these truly satisfy? All these things are good but to settle solely for such things so temporal and superficial is a waste of life right? Life on earth vs. life in all eternity.

My viewpoint might be a little too myopic. Need to move forward...

Too much has happened the past 2 weeks. I was still soooo sad last week when I found out my senior tendered her resignation, just before our move to the new building. She is currently serving notice. I've always found her very enigmatic, very private. She is hard to get to know and I find it very hard to read her mind. Maybe she's right...I think too much. Is that why? I don't know. Mixed feelings. I allow my emotions to rule my head sometimes, which is a weakness. Gotta take things in control sometimes. It's softness, essentially. Gotta learn to be more independent @ work and more dependent on God. It's a paradox, I know...how to be more dependent and independent at the same time? God's mysterious ways. Just as how we show our strength in our weakness.

Anyhow, I am very very grateful that I'd the experience of working with her and learning from her. She definitely had great influence in my life...in the short few months. How wonderful that I had to opportunity to work with her. Fortunate me. :) I will become better...

How's the office move? It's alright. We're sitting besides Finance now and surprisingly, we are noisier than them. They are SO quiet. Seriously, it's shocking. At my previous building, our level was also very quiet and I thought it was only for our level...but now I know, it is not, it's seems like a company culture. We've got a great view and I am facing the window BUT it is SO hot at my seat in the morning. I've to lower the blinds almost fully if not I'll be baked, under harmful UV rays! NOoooo. Yeah, sunblock is a must. This is no joke.

The pantry's an upgrade, for sure. Toilet, I suppose so. There is no auto-flush tho'...maybe becos it is a "green building". The internal decor is not that to my liking. The whole place feels very clinical, very cold. & I find it realy funny that the door in the dept next door spoilt on its first day. Seriously. I think every office should have a comfy lounge cum pantry that allows employees to mingle and relax but that's not a priority in this place. Not the most important factor I guess. I'm still adjusting to this new place but so far, it has been ok.

I think the nano water filter thing in the pantry is the best thing. We never have to replace water barrels anymore! YAY! Yeah. :) :) :)

Life is too short for me to mop around. I know there is still hope for the future. :)

I am soooo getting the Olympus Pen EP3. Waited soooo long for it & I deliberated for a while before finally coming to a decision. Yeah, I shall wait till after the IT show to see if there are any good deals. I'm also gonna invest in a nice camera bag. Still choosing. :)

Went to see a few interesting wall clocks with my parents today. Not cheap...but they look good. I may invest in one, I don't know yet. It depends on how my room looks like after the renovations. It is kinda difficult visualising how my room will look like. I haven't had much power in deciding how my room should look like but I think the designer is gonna make the room look "minimalistic", which works fine for me. He chose the colour of the paint too, some rosy pink or whatever, which turned out to be a peachy colour. From what he explained, the colour is definitely not pink. Pink's pretty but I don't want to have pink walls. Peach is fine. If he thinks the colour will illuminate my room then ok, sounds good to me. :)

I still can't believe I'm moving homes soon. Seriously. I'm moving office this week too. Like seriously. Gosh.

& why is there no release date for Midnight in Paris, the Woody Allen movie? I want to watch that! 

Okay, I gotta pack and get ready my stuff for work tomorrow then head for bed. Nights ppl.

Yes...and so what?

Tony Tan (TT) is our new president! Our 7th President. Am I pleased? Yes, I'd say so. I voted for him after all (was deciding between Tan Cheng Bock and him). I know most of my peers didn't. I'm not pro or anti PAP but I agreed with some of his views & I voted with my head. There is gonna be a big economic crisis coming along...so we really need a wise and competent leader. A president with a "steady hand" is good for me...PAP-linked or not, I don't care. I believe that TT will be able to rise up to the occasion and be the president that serves the people. Okay, do I sound like I've been brain-washed? HAHAH. Don't forget I'm living in an opposition ward and I just voted for the opposition in the GE a few months back. I'm really not pro-any party but I am really sick of the endless PAP-bashing. Can't we take a step back and see how we prospered under PAP's rule? All the youngsters are bashing PAP non-stop, insulting our leaders and finding fault with whatever they say or do. In my sister's words, they are like Taliban- extremists! It's not that PAP has done everything right but there is no perfect govt and I think compared to many governments around the world, they have done pretty well. As an island-nation, Singapore had NO REASON to exist, let alone grow so prosperous, but we have been so so so blessed because we had leaders with foresight.  

Constructive criticism is ok but senseless bashing is not. The Taliban sentiments online really turns me off. Some are people who had fallen through the cracks and have genuine grievances, ok; but I can say that most are just a ungrateful bunch of Singaporeans who know how to complain/ insult/ bash. Ugh. The kind who will vote for opposition just to oppose. Nevermind if the opposition is rubbish, will still vote for them 'cos "PAP sucks". This is our country's future at stake leh!

The Talibans were upset that only 6 seats went to opposition, they want more than half of the seats to fall to opposition. Can you imagine how unstable our country would become should that had happen??? With the calibre of most of those in opposition leading the country? How disastrous would that be??? 6 seats is just about right for me. I wouldn't want a sudden change in the leadership of the country because we are still not prepared for this kind of change & it will affect our economy adversely, for sure. Do the Talibans care??? NO. They naively think that life will immediately be better if PAP is overthrown by the opposition. Our political landscape would become soooo unstable that it would affect our economy ok & that is NO good. Super angry lah. Can't they think long-term. We want a stronger opposition, ok...but that has to come gradually because anything faster, it will de-stabilise our economy & we need more wise people with heart for the people to join the opposition first (so glad Chen Show Mao won) before we even think of "forming a govt".

This is just my thoughts la...very turn off by the Taliban postings online. You can say I'm a "moderate" voter who will deliberate before I vote. I wouldn't mind if TCB had won 'cos I like him too but in the end, I decided to go with TT instead. TSJ is too aggressive and anti-PAP (the way he speaks remind me of the Talibans) for my liking. TKL, not president material, imo.

So yeah, I'll say it here...TT has my support.

Corrinne May- All that I need

I'm sorry that I hurt you
I took for granted all you gave so freely to me
I prayed it's not too late
To save you from a broken heart
To promise you I'll make a brand new start
Believe me when i say

*You are all that I need
The only treasure I see
You're the air that helps me breathe
through the darkest night
When I fall down on my knees
I was blind but now I see
You are all that I need*

When no one far from perfect
Like a child that needs a guiding hand
Can you stay here with me
I finally understand
You've always been the missing part
Complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart
Please hear me when i say

Please let me hear your voice again
Let me hear you say your love will never end
That whatever it takes you'll be there
When I say

==
I had a bad week. It wasn't a good one at all. I was called into big boss's office Mon and almost throughout the week, my colleague had to help clear my mess. I felt bad and sad, especially on Friday. :( :( :(

But I had dinner with a friend last night and as he shared about how God has been so good to him, I was reminded of how God has really blessed me. If I took a step back to view on my life, I'd realise how blessed I've been. I have gotten so much that I don't deserve. For example, having great colleagues. Colleagues who go out of the way to help me. I really can't thank them enough. It's such a privilege to work with such colleagues because too often, we hear of a dog-eat-dog world that is cold and cruel. This is why God placed me here. I'm sure that God placed me here because everything fell in place at that period, when I was seeking for a direction for my career. & even tho, it hasn't been exactly smooth-sailing, I've always been blessed with kind people who would help me along the way. 

Can I find something to give thanks for this week? Yes. Even throughout all the disastrous events that happened that traumatised me, it's also a week of growth. I've learned so much this week. Happy events include speaking to my deputy boss, who showed me his rotten oranges. Haha. Those rotten oranges cheered me up. From my count, there are 6 rotten oranges in my office now. Yeah, and because of the crappy KYC done by the RM, I got annoyed and became more assertive in my dealing with her. Her case was horrible. The client's source of wealth is so shady and it showed signs of potential insider trading, but as everyone knows, insider trading is very difficult to prove. Nvm. I had another case, which really caused a lot of headache. I felt bad and sad because my senior had to clear up the mess. It wasn't entirely my fault, all these issues...but I could have pointed them in the right direction if I had picked it out right from the start. My senior read the KYC docs and managed to pick it out in 5 mins. Honestly, she's amazing. I'm very thankful that I can learn from someone like her because she is really sharp. You know, it isn't easy to find a mentor who is willing to help and coach...see how blessed I am! My other colleague is probably right in her assessment. She said that this has been a traumatising week for me because I've been pushed out of my comfort zone but it is when I am out of that zone that I will experience growth. How true.

My senior also brought me up to an RM, who turned out to very nice. It was pretty enjoyable talking to her. But you know what I observed in that room? When I explained the situation to that RM, she was friendly but still held on to her view but when my senior spoke, The RM started agree-ing with her almost immediately! I was like...wow.  In the end, my senior managed to get things to flow her way. It was her assertiveness, her people-skills, that made things happen & I saw all it happen "live". Seriously, I hold her in high regards. She's someone with a wealth of experience and yet, she's humble and approachable. She does her work very well. Yes, I have to grow in these areas. Cannot be too soft because my area of work does not allow me to be passive. I need to read up more and accumulate head knowledge and couple that learning how to hit the right buttons when dealing with others while accumulating experience. That's a sure-win formula. How do I find confidence? I feel absolutely crappy about myself and tend to look down on myself many times. It's what I think but I'm learning how to strip the "I" out of the situation and to see through God's perspective. Also, to claim His promises for my life, yes. If God has placed me here, He will definitely give me the tools to succeed. Why would God place me here to be a loser? Not when I'm meant to shine and bring glory to His name right.

In spite of this traumatic week,  I know I have many reasons to be grateful. I shall end off with verses from Isaiah 40:

30Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

31but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

I will renew my strength. :) 

Olympus Pen-EP3

Gosh, I am still thinking should I get this micro 4/3 camera. The single lens kit will cost close to S$1.3k and the twin, close to S$1.6. Am I even an avid photographer, avid enough to go deep into all the technicalities of such a system? Probably not...but would I enjoy better quality photos and subsequently grow a passion for photography- perhaps. Lemme mull over it for a few months. If I do get it, it will probably be before my planned Taiwan trip in Oct.

Yes I am going to Taiwan! Yay! I bought the tickets and booked my accommodations already. Can't believe it is really happening but it is. About time lah. My last real overseas trip (Malaysia not included) was to HK in late 2008. That was almost 3 years ago! Gasps. Till then, it's a battle at work! There is a lot of work to be done. I need to do something about my speed. Sometimes there is really no time to keep considering/ worrying which is the "right" way to phrase or ask something or whether my checks are thorough enough. I dislike being a worry-wart. It doesn't demonstrate the sureness a Christian should have but I know I tend to take myself a little too seriously, which inevitability inflicts a lot of stress on myself. I don't believe this is how life should be lived and I am very sure about this. It's the old nature within me that tends to surface. I am always reminded that there is really no point in worrying because tomorrow will worry about itself and each day there is enough trouble on its own. I cannot add a single hour to my life by worrying. Haha, I just summarised Matthew 6: 25-34. Doesn't it bring comfort knowing that God knows our weaknesses and addressed them in his word to us? :)

It's during my lowest points in my life that the promises of God gives me to hope to carry on. I think that's important because how sad it is to live life without hope. It's as good as not living because there is nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to. One re-occurring prayer I pray is for God's guidance. There are so many choices in life and sometimes I really don't know which path to take or decisions to make. This has become all the more relevant after I entered the workforce. It is truly not easy balancing so many different acts all at the same time. All the expectations and pressure can break someone down- someone who is cannot deal with it all. It was pretty hard for me a while for me back because I piled too much pressure on myself and it sort of back-fired. The lousier I felt about myself, the worst I performed. It became a nightmare, a self-fulfilling vicious cycle. It was also that period that I questioned if this job is for me- whether I am suited for this job. It was pretty bad. Thank goodness I had wonderful colleagues and a boss, whom I managed to sort of reconcile with. There was a period when he became quite irritated with me because of the mistakes I made. He didn't really say it but I could feel it and understandably la, it's normal to get annoyed when your employee keeps making mistakes. That was the period when I entered the seemingly unending vicious cycle. It felt like forever. That phase seems to be over now, thank God. :)

I've realised I have to at least give myself a year to see if I can do this job and put in the extra effort to do well in it. Giving up too easily is my weakness so I want to persevere in this, to do my best, so that at the end of the day if this job is really not suited for me, at least I've tried and can answer to myself. I'm also not alone on this journey. God has really blessed me with great colleagues who aid me along the way. There is this one senior whom I really appreciate. She was the one I mentioned in a previous post who went out of the way to teach me about trust structures. She mentioned the other day that colleagues are just working partners and it is not a given that we will make good friends with colleagues (this is in relation to another issue within my team). Words of wisdom indeed. There is some internal conflict within my team. One member cannot get along with the other. One of them really has poor EQ skills and is causing a lot of strain within the team. Personally I am neutral. I mean that member's character is like that, I accept that but my other colleague can't quite accept that. Clash in personalities. I was also accused of siding the bad behaviour colleague. I mean, yes, that colleague has bad behaviour but there is always two sides to a person, isn't it. It's not that right to force someone to complain about another just to "show support". I didn't join in the chorus of complains and so received some flak for that. Oh well. My senior is super funny. She told me to share with the rest abt the chopsticks story. One chopstick- easy to break. Five chopsticks- not that easy to break. Basically, she was reminding us of the importance of teamwork lah. Very true. I laughed when she told me the story tho'. My goodness, isn't that the story we have all heard when we were kids. Haha. But yeah, she really taught me a lot and I think she makes a good leader. She's the kind who will make you wanna work harder for her. :)

Yep. And another word of wisdom that can see you through your entire life: Have the Word of God as your map and the Holy Spirit as your guide.

Market Abuse/ CFT/ AML/ KYC

My job scope is so wide. I closed my first market abuse alert today...after so long. It's really not easy closing out a case. What constitutes as as market abuse? How to verify whether this is a case of insider trading? It's really super hard to tell lo. I need training! What I know is what my colleague taught me but what exactly is "suspicious"? That really requires discernment and experience. I have to be honest, it was with fear that I closed out my first alert. I hate working like that. With fear. I really do. What if due to my lapse in concentration or my lack of awareness, some insider trading happens...or if a client turns out to be terrorist and the funds coming into the account are coming from illegal activities? What if the bank gets fined? What if there is reputation damage? I fear too much. & so I doubt...my judgement, my understanding...and I procrastinate on making a decision. Occasionally, I make a decision and it turns out to be a rash one. This is a journey of learning...with some high risks involved. I want to be able to take the risk. I want to be able to take calculated risks. I want to be able to rise up. Like an eagle. To see far with focused eyes.

I will get there for when I am weak, that's when I am strong. Next week will be a good one. I know it. :)

Fare hike?

What's your view on this? Is the proposal to increase mrt and bus fares justifiable?

I think the NEL is still quite ok. It can get crowded during peak hour but I still can squeeze in, and at least can still breathe. The mrt arrival time is quite predictable. When I make the change @ Dhoby Ghaut, it's a different story. The mrt's arrival time is not as predictable. Sometimes there will be like sooooo many people at the platform waiting for the next train. Need to wait for the 3rd or 4th train in order to board. But for me, it's just 2 stops so it's ok. I can't speak for those who take the NS or EW lines from their homes.

To those S'poreans who keep bitching on online forums abt how those who voted for PAP brought about this are really bo liao. They don't understand how unsettling it will be for PAP to be suddenly removed as govt. It'll be disastrous lo. Which is why, I am quite pleased with the election results. PAP still in power but with reduced seats (they need to know how out of touch they are with the people). 

We are undergoing a lot of changes....

Psalm 16

 ¹ Keep me safe, my God,
   for in you I take refuge.
 ² I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
   apart from you I have no good thing.”
³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,
   “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”
⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.
   I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods
   or take up their names on my lips.
 ⁵ LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup;
   you make my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
   surely I have a delightful inheritance.
⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
   even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the LORD.
   With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
 ⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
   my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
   nor will you let your faithful^[b] one see decay.
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
   you will fill me with joy in your presence,
   with eternal pleasures at your right hand.


This passage got me through the week. Honestly, I was crashing mid-week. Was making too many mistakes at work and was feeling very discouraged and blue. It has been like this since I returned to work after my block leave. Very depressing. The workload is heavy, of 'cos, but the main source of my stress comes from myself. I know that very well. My colleagues could tell that I was highly stressed out. In my colleague's words, I look "terrible" when I'm stressed out. Okay, that's bad. When your colleague is telling you stuff like that and you feel sooooo lousy with no apparent reason, then yes, something is wrong. I woke up everyday feeling empty and I found no joy in anything. How sad!

I communicated with this colleague of mine who is very nice and was concerned about my bad state. Initially my replies to her were "I'm ok" until mid-week...when she asked if I was stressed and I finally admitted it with a "I guess". First positive step towards recovery and beating stress is to realise and admit that I'm stressed. I was pretty honest with her...I did try to psyche myself up every morning that I have to be positive but effort by self will never be enough 'cos it cannot be sustained so yeah, it failed mid-way. I was reminded to spend time with God 'cos the input has to come from elsewhere. I was feeling too crap to try to get myself out of the situation. Too weak, too discouraged, too tired...

So Psalm 16 really encouraged me. It's true that apart from the Lord, I have no good thing. Since He has blessed me with this job, I know He has a purpose for me here and He will give me the tools and skills to succeed. I am not meant to be a loser, but an overcomer and victor in Christ. This psalm helped put my life back into the correct perspective. I'm aware that If I introspect too much, I tend to get depressed. The more I look inward, the more a failure I feel I am. So yes, gotta focus on God instead (vs 8). I'm small but thankfully I have a BIG GOD! :) 

Anyway, I'm soooo thankful for my colleagues. This particular colleague of mine? She took time to teach me about trust structures. I feel a little slow sometimes, like I take a while to understand concepts...but still, she took the time to teach me after official working hours. She has a lot of experience in the line, I believe & her post is not small (she's more senior that me so she's really like a mentor) so it's really soooo nice of her to go out of her way to help me. She's super nice lah. If I have employees under me in the future, I hope to be a boss like her. I don't know that much about her 'cos she's quite a private person but apparently, she thinks the same way about me too. She said that I do talk but she doesn't know what I'm thinking. Hmm. I thought I could be read like an open book? It's not that I don't share but I don't know what kind of sharing is appropriate and perhaps, I just don't know how to express myself with words.

I'm perked up now tho'. Found the reason to continue with life and I've been re-charged! Therefore I'm planning a team outing. HAHA. Yes, I'm actually the organiser. Amazing. :)

There are so many people I really want to give thanks for because they are important people who have inputted into my life. I'm blessed. Really blessed.

Thanks for being a part of my life, friends!

Olympus PEN E-P3

I am waiting for the release of this camera. May buy it. It's old school and pretty. That's Miyazaki Aoi in the CM! :) :)

Baby Baby Babyyyy...

Haha. I'm listening to Justin Bieber's Baby now! HAHA. It's quite catchy leh. Oh, this song has been "hot" quite some time ago? Opps. I can't remember where I first heard this song but it grew on me. I like it. :)


I am having post block leave blues. Haha. Perked myself up by wearing my new green dress today! I spent a fortune on it okie. It cost abt $100. I was actually pretty reluctant to buy it but my mum convinced me to buy it. "If you like it then buy it." Great advice. How often do I see something I like? Not very often.

Sun. Father's Day. I spent most of the day with my Dad. Amazing. I realised something abt him. His love language is probably touch or something. He realised he likes to tap my arm to get my attention. Like he does it quite frequently. Some people tend to do this while they are having a conversation with another. I have a colleague like that. She likes to tap people also. Touch is definitely not my love language, unless I know you very well la, then maybe I'll stick to you like glue and whine all the time. Haha. :P We purchased a cross trainer! Yes! Convinced my dad to get it! I know, my dad giving me a gift on father's day sounds funny but...to repay him, I will make good use of the machine and also convince him to use it to keep fit. See, everyone benefits! :) Haha.

I'm forcing my colleague to go to the zoo with me. HAHA. It;s quite hilarious. I am organising a team outing to the zoo (and will try to force them to go). It's all still tentative but I'm trying to get them to go.

Okie, gonna do other stuff now. Ciaosss

don't order me

I'm quite annoyed now. Someone sent me a msg to do something. I said I'll do it if I go past a store. Person replied to make myself go past one. And that person is sure I can do that for so and so. Honestly, I don't think it's a friendly msg. Even if an emoticon is inserted at the end of the first sentence. I can do it, sure, but if there's someone else who can do it then let the person do it. Cos I'll appreciate it. I'm helping with my grandma's big move, not spending my day leisurely at home. My schedule's also quite packed ok. The tone, however "friendly" the intention may be, did not appear so over a msg. By using such words, the person was implying that I don't care enough abt the person and is unwilling to take on such a task. And even assuming THe person's right, big assumption...using those words would only make the other person angry.

ANnoyed. Very annoyed. Pls keep me away from this person. So afraid I'd burst if I see this person. To protect this person's identity, anonymity has been ensured.

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Scary!

Okay, I got into my first (and I pray, last) automobile accident earlier today. I reversed into a stationary car parked in a lot. There was this uncle on a garbage bike behind me who refused to budge and forced me to make a sharp left reverse turn. I over-accelerated and bam, hit the other car's bumper. Thank God nothing happened to either cars. There were no scratches or dents noted. As you can imagine, it was an unnerving experience. My mum wanted my dad to take over the wheel after that but my dad told me to continue driving home. He, throughout the whole incident, did not scold me. I guess he didn't want me to be scarred by this incident. As a novice driver, small accidents may occur, the most important thing is to learn from it and become a better and safer driver. I won't quit driving because of this because I don't want fear preventing me from living life to the fullest. We miss out a lot on life because of fear. Anyway, I don't know if it sounds strange but I was mildly touched by my dad's response. His lack of response, even. He didn't berate me for my carelessness or make a big deal out of the incident. All he did was offer me some suggestions on how I could improve my driving skills and encouraged me to continue driving. It was a subdued response but nevertheless, an act of kindness to me. It's probably his way of showing love? Whatever it is, it brought comfort to me. :)

Seriously man, driving is no joke. A quick lapse in concentration can lead to major consequences...really thank God no casualties (humans/ cars) resulted from this incident.

Anyway, I'm gonna start packing my room tonight. Will take some interesting photos and upload to this blog. :D

喜欢你- 陈洁仪

Listening to Kit over my Yamaha hi-fi now. Amazing voice. :) I'm really tired...will prolly catch a nap soon.

I met my ex-domestic helper earlier today while transiting from her USA to Manila. It was an special moment. I can't quite explain it with words. Maybe later, a burst of inspiration would pour forth and I'd be able to pen my thoughts in detail.  Yeah...lemme leave this post to later!

i love 郑九妹！

I watching No Regrets now. TVB drama. 巾幗梟雄之義海豪情. IT IS SOOOOO NICE. OMG. SO NICE. Apologies for sounding bimbotic...but it is really wonderful lah! Sheren Tang acted soooo well. I really like watching her dramas 'cos...got quality lah. Hahah. There was this housewives one. HAHAHA. That one was super funny. Then the princess one, War & Beauty, I think. That was good too. :) Support! Kau Mui! :) :) :) :) 


Had fillings done this morning. So expensive. Prevention is definitely better than cure. I'm gonna reduce my sugar intake and take better care of my teeth. Yeah. Next appt's in 2 days. 


Watched X-Men with P yesterday. Definitely more entertaining that I had expected. I like the dude that spoke German. Magneto? Something like that. The one who can do powerful stuff with metals. 


Ok. I have stuff to do. Later!

CLIF

HAHA. It's like my favourite drama now. Police drama! I feel so inspired after watching the it...maybe I should sign up to be a cop! HAHAHAH. Just kidding. I highly suspect the police job is not as interesting as the drama makes it out to be. All the paper work and red tape issues are probably not reflected in the drama. I find this drama rather interesting tho'. At least it is more interesting than typical family dramas that Mediacorp is so fond of producing. I used to really like the forensic drama that played many many years ago on Channel 8. Aileen Tan acted as a forensic scientist inside. Haha. I love crime and investigation shows!!! :) 

& can I say that Chris Tong is VERY PRETTY??? This is from a female POV. She's really pretty lah. My mum told me she's a Beauty Queen from M'sia mah. & I was like...taking part in pageant doesn't mean a thing. Just look at Jade Seah. She also took part in pageant mah. Who's prettier??? Of 'cos Chris Tong right? I think she's probably the prettiest in Mediacorp now. There are 2 dudes I quite like from Mediacorp: Elvin Ng and Zhang Zhen Huan (I dunno his English name). Yes, the latter is a Chinese but he's so cute! My cup of tea. Lemme google on him. His bday is one day after mine!!! Gasp! Haha. I like him wayyyyyyyyy better than Dai Yang Tian. ZZH is 184cm! Tallll. :) Let's check what's Elvin Ng's height. 181cm. Talll! :) There are so few tall guys in Singapore so any guy above 180cm is really like a plus plus plus. Yeah, so these are the 2. Who else is worthy of mention? I can't recall right now but Mediacorp really needs renewal man.

I watched this film with Daniel Wu and Louis Koo the other day. Gosh, so nice lah! Both of them were fighting for a lady. I don't know what's the title in English leh, the film. Daniel Wu is really an A+++ guy. My cup of tea also. :) Louis Koo- I also like. He's a completely different type (bad boy!) but yeah, Louis Koo will always have a special place in my heart. Hahaha. Maybe a small small small place. I still have his autograph kept somewhere!    

My throat feels very itchy now....I hope I'm not falling sick. :(

Visited the Dentist today and my dental health is in bad shape!!! :( :( :( I will need follow up visits. 3 times! AHHH. Okay, less sweets for me. No carbonated drinks! I realised I am typing very randomly. This really reflects my state of mind. All over the place. :(

Cannot go on like this....

Later!

Dog's Life?

That's how my colleague describes our team- living a dog's life. Haha. I find his comment quite amusing. It's depends on how you see it really. The work has been CRAZY. This I absolutely agree. I just did a 24 account file and it really took so much of my time and energy. & today I did an 18 account file. Halfway through. It's the VOLUME of work. It's insane how much we have to do. The manpower hasn't increased much but the workload has increased by so much. :(

But...good training lah.

Gotta do other stuff now. Byeeee

仰望 恩 典

每 一天 ， 每一 夜， 每 一分
鐘 ，我 仰 望你 的恩 典 ，
患 難時 ， 在我 喜樂 時 ，你
雙 手領 我 進入 你恩 典 ，
主 耶穌 你 寶血 ，洗 淨 我一
切 的罪 孽 ，
為 我死 ， 為我 而流 淚 ，賜
給 我無 盡 的恩 典。
我 能有 什 麼給 你啊 ， 能報
答 你付 的 代價 ，
每 當我 定 睛你 十架 ， 眼淚
不 禁潸 然 地落 下，
我 的心 不 要忘 記啊 ， 他鞭
傷 換來 新 的生 命啊 ，
從 此不 再 憂傷 ，不 再 掙
扎 ，
在 耶穌 懷 裡我 有平 安 自
由 、希 望 。

AH, this is the spirit of the gospel. WHat can beat the love of Jesus. BEautiful song.

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Dr Lily Neo

HAHAHAH. You know I joined PAP's Lily Neo's page. She maintained the site and replies to posts. I like Lily Neo. She's pretty and has a heart of gold. She's definitely my favourite MP within PAP. Anyway, there is this post which I find SUPER FUNNY.

It goes:

"Hallo Mdm, I have been seeing you around, since I was young living in Kim seng., and now I am not so young.

hahaha but you still look good. Steady lah, you are the super doctor of aesthetics. Not only looking good on the outside, you are good on the inside. As they say , hate the game but not the playa.

I loveeeee you !"

& Dr. Neo's reply is:

"Sorry, I do not know how to respond to your comments"

==
HAHAHHAHA.  Lily Neo!!!! :)

Sara Bareilles- Esplanade 11 May 2011

I attended her concert! The last concert I attended was...Ayumi's concert in HK 3 years ago! Haha. I'm actually not familiar with Sara's songs. The only song I've heard is "Love Story" but I didn't know she sang it until I heard her sing it yesterday. Lol. Yeah, so why did I go? Firstly, it was cos Limei invited me. Secondly, I heard she's good so...why not? Yeah, we ended up paying black market price. $175 each. I didn't mind la. Good seats tho. We were seated smack in the middle, 4th row from the front. Could see Sara's face very clearly. Her voice is WHOA. Powerful! Seriously, she sounded better than CD. Awesome voice and she seems to have a great personality too. My star attraction is...her bassist Daniel Rhine. Oh my gosh. I love him. He's super cool. The way his leg moves when he plays the bass guitar. Damn sexy. If I  ever date an ang moh, I hope he looks like him. Haha. Limei says he looks very "Bristish". Whatever it is, he oozes character. My cup of tea! :) Limei was quite annoyed that I was so distracted during the concert. HAHAHA. Sorry, I didn't know I was staring. In summary, Sara's entire band is awesome! & no, I didn't take any photos. My phone's camera really suck. I requested Limei to snap photos of my favourite bassist. She hasn't sent me the photos yet.

Oh yeah, funny thing. I almost ended up on Nicoll Highway. Luckily I stopped the bus uncle before he moved off the bus stop. Suntec is only 2 stops away from office's bus stop. Must remember next time!

I'm listening to Adele's Rolling in the deep now. Gosh, her voice is super good alsooo. I love this song! :D :D

No State Funeral

I discovered only recently that Mr. Ong Teng Cheong, our beloved ex-president, did not receive a state funeral. Apparently, the prime minister & his office did not deem him worthy of having a state funeral. :( Is it really because he questioned how many assets the govt had? If that's true then...I'm disappointed. Disgusted. Politics can be so dirty. The govt and the ruling party has kinda become "one" because of the many years of PAP's control in parliament. What's the justification that Mrs Lee KY (not even part of the govt) could get a state funeral but Mr Ong TC couldn't?

This is insane.

Debate

I had rather intense debate with my aunt this afternoon over the possibility of opposition winninng over ALjunied. Personally, I am leaning more towards the WP winning Aljunied 'cos there is Low Thia Khiang, whom I think has done a good job at Hougang. The rubbish don't pile up to 3 storeys high as PAP claims. The estates are rather clean, at least those that I pass by rather frequently that belong to Hougang SMC). I love Hougang and I find it very unfair that just because majority of the people staying here decided to vote for opposition, they are placed at a disadvantage when it comes to the building of sheltered walkways, lift upgrading, etc. We are always placed last on the list even tho' it is quite apparent that the ageing flats here are in more urgent need of upgrading. I feel so bad for the elderly who stay here. They have sacrificed so much for the good of Singapore by voting at least one opposition MP into Parliament for the past 20 years. Why has it got to be this way? Why do the citizens who stay in Hougang have to be penalised because PAP didn't win this seat? It's not like the residents of Hougang don't pay taxes lor. We pay taxes so that other residents in the country (minus Potong Pasir) can enjoy the upgrading of their neighbourhood facilities.

I feel strongly about this because my place is just in between Hougang SMC and Aljunied GRC. How many times have I seen the flats over at Aljunied getting upgraded OVER AND OVER again. & Sometimes the upgrades are superficial! The existing facilities seemed to work just fine but they still tore them down to re-build again and again. That's what I noticed lah, whenever I walk home from the bus stops over at Aljunied's side. The common HDB lights are brighter over at Aljunied. Hougang SMC...well, we don't get so much upgrades but the facilities are considerably well-maintained. & I believe some of HOugang has been absorbed into Aljunied. Like Kovan should actually be considered part of Hougang. In fact, the small street just outside Heartland Mall is called Hougang Street 21. There used to be another bus interchange there called Hougang South. Kovan was considered a part of Hougang...until the GRC thing came up and somehow Hougang got split into 2 or something.  How come part of Hougang ended up in Aljunied GRC, I also dunno. DUnno how the boundaries are decided. The GRC system can be quite unfair (this I agree).

I stayed in Hougang like practically all my life and I'm seen the changes happened in this neighbourhood. From no MRT to the building of the NEL line. From no malls to the building of Hougang Plaza and subsequently the building of Hougang Mall. From only a bus interchange in Hougang South to serve the HOugang residents (see above) to the construction of Hougang Central INterchange. Hougang Central had nothing then. There was no Hougang Central. Wet market had to walk super far to HOugang Ave 7. Used to look forward to drinking the soya milk drink bought from there. Gosh, I have so many fond memories of Hougang.

This post helps me reminiscence the past and is also serves as one of my closing notes of my stay in Hougang (I'm moving in the later half of this year to a PAP ward). Hougang will always have a special place in my heart. It's where I spent my childhood and grew up in. Opposition, so what? Still Singaporean!

BAck to the debate with my Aunt. Well, I agree with her that there is a prevalent spirit of grumbling and complaining among the younger Singaporeans. To say that the PAP has not done much for Singapore is being ungrateful. PAP helped mould this nation, there is no doubt about that. Many youngsters only know how to complaint and complaint about how PAP has been a bad government. I think PAP isn't that bad a government- they are considered very good compared to other inept governments around the world. & I'd honestly be very worried if PAP collapses and Opposition takes over as government during this year's election. It'll be super scary can?

That being said, I still hope that WP will win Aljunied GRC. My aunt, mum and other relatives are "very worried" that WP will win Aljunied, but I think we should give the Opposition a chance. There is one MP (my ex-MP), one NCMP, one brilliant guy who has a heart to serve Singaporeans (c'mon, Chen Show Mao certainly didn't have join politics or the opposition party to live a comfortable life- not that he will cos he chose to join  opposition and not PAP. This has to be passion!). He seems quite credible and I would give him a chance). The other 2 who make up the team seem like sincere people who would like to contribute to the nation as well. This is a pretty good team, IMO & yes, I would give them a chance. I hope more can be done for the poor, in particular. We have one of the widest income gaps in the world, it's disgusting. & I don't know why we are so stingy to the poor. It's not that the elderly are lazy and don't want to work. They are old and those menial tasks are tough for them! & with all the cheap foreign workers flooding into our nations...it's even more difficult to find work. I hope something will be done regarding the influx of foreign workers as well. There must be a better way to grow the nation than to keep bringing in foreign talents right? I don't know la.

We'll see how it goes! Exciting contest!

WP RALLY HOUGANG 20110428

Awesome stuff. I love attending opposition rallies because the atmosphere is just indescribable. It feels very Singaporean. Regardless of race, religion, age, income...we all come together to "decide" on the future of my country. I can't describe it. The whole experience feels very grassroots and it has been a long while since I last felt like a Singaporean. But I've only attended WP rallies so far. This is the 3rd WP rally I've attended. & I only attend WP because my current constituency belongs to WP! It's sad that Low Thia Kiang will no longer be the MP of Hougang because I think he's done a great job the past 20 years. Who should I vote for? I have no idea. It's pretty apparent from tonight's crowd that not all 后港人 are supportive of the newbie...Yaw Shin Leong. NOt very warm lor, the crowd's response. I know little about him lah. I don't know anything about the new PAP dude also except that he looks like a decent man. I haven't decided who I'll vote for and anyway, I'll be moving out of Hougang after the election ends.

I really like Sylvia Lim & the new dude, Chen Show Mao. Gosh. ALJUNIED! HOTLY CONTESTED! I wish WP all the best there man 'cos this is really the A Team. Low Thia Kiang decided to go for GRC instead! If they are not successful then...dunno will have opposition in parliament not. Haha. Hougang, really not sure lo. Esp. now that Low's no longer in charge, will the old ppl still vote for WP? I don't know.  & Potong Pasir's in a really perilous state. I heard the Mrs CHiam fared really poorly during some debate. My boss's secretary was talking abt her poor performance today. Lol. 

Bleeding Love

Listening to Leona Lewis now! Didn't like this song before but somehow it grew on me. I like it! I know my blog has been kinda dead but there is only 24 hours in a day, of which most are spent at work. It has been pretty nuts at work but there is still much for me to give thanks for. I really like my colleagues. They are great people. Really lovely people. :) Celebrated my colleagues' birthdays today. I mean, it's fun. We have to organise stuff. I actually helped to organise the whole birthday cake buying thing and whatever else, which is really out of this world 'cos I don't usually do such things, but because I really appreciate them, I seriously wanted to get them something. We have to work to improve the environment right (esp. when everything is so fast-paced and there is a whole lot of work to do)? If not, it'd be such a drag to go to work! A happy and joyful spirit to work everyday! That's my wish. :)

& everyone, I got baptised on 16 Apr!!! Not sure if I'm mentioned it here but those close to me should know. I'm glad because even tho' I have been a believer for a long time...the Christian faith is only "complete" with baptism. It's a call to obey lah, basically 'cos every believer should have gone through baptism once they choose to believe in the faith. Dead to self and alive in Christ! So how was baptism? It was an interesting experience. Overall, I'm glad. :)

:)

While my guitar gently weeps

I love this song. Listening to the Jeff Healey Band's rendition. Great song to chill with on a weekend. I have a lot to update but don't have the luxury to update a lot now.

Polling day is coming. ELECTION RALLIES! Yay. So exciting. I can't wait to vote. My first time voting! Haha. :) I think some of the opposition candidates are very impressive. Chen Show Mao is one of them. There are a few from SDP also. Can't remember their names.

Shucks. I need to poop. Later

90km/hr

I drove on the highway yesterday afternoon! From Plaza Sing to Expo! Woo hoo. I wasn't driving at 20km/hr, as I did when I was learning driving (hahah) but 80-90km/hr! :) Yeah, it was fun.

^_^

Timbre

Maiden visit to Timbre on Fri with colleagues! Interesting experience. I had a mojito and a bailey's irish cream. Nothing excessive. I didn't want to get drunk. We wait till the live band sang and...boy, were we disappointed. Let's just say that the long wait wasn't worth it. The lead singer had a voice that I didn't particularly appreciate. In fact, my colleague thought the band slaughtered many classics with their "renditions". However the whole support for local bands thing should be encouraged. Must give chance. But this particular local band is out- for me. 

Very exhausted today that I decided not to go for a gathering with some friends. I really couldn't take it. The physical exhaustion did not permit me to attend the gathering. Sorry friends. :(

Had a good nap after I reached home after a quick lunch. Quite refreshed now lah. Hence, the new blog entry! Haha.

I bought a Yamaha hi-fi yesterday and the set will be delivered on Fri! Will take photos and post. Hehe.

Alright, gonna end this entry now.

How's the new design?? Finally changed the template. This is, of 'cos, one of the standard templates offered by blogger. I'm hopeless at html.

You know what's interesting abt my job? You read the backgrounds of different kind of people. How they got rich, how they accumulated their wealth. My boss joked that we can learn from the information they provide, essentially, their background stories become our "get rich" manual. Haha. But it's ridiculous la, some of the prospects. Some come saying that have X networth but turns out, they are betting on their future income (projected incoming funds from different projects). Those are horrible cases that Compliance officers don't want to handle. Airy fairy kind, with dubious source of wealth. Filed the STR last week. So troublesome. But...I learned something new! :)

美しい隣人

歌：Sasja Antheunis  作詞：Sasja Antheunis／作曲：池 頼広
: The water's black and warm beneath as I wade through memories held within.
: I hunt for him in everybody, search for him within my dreams.
: When the moon begins to cry and demons come dance around your bed,
: I'll come for you, silently, yes you wont hear me, feel my breath upon you
: neck.
: There he is in the fireflies, on off my light in the dark.
: Here you sleep having everything, life death happens so fast.
: Everyday that I'm not with him I feel my mind is pulled apart.
: Here you rest with peaceful dreams, not long before your nightmare starts.
: There he is in the fireflies, on off my light in the dark.
: Here you sleep having everything, not for long I will have your heart.
: Oh oh, I'll rip the strings to your heart.
: All for the love of a boy, drowned in lifetime of tears.

THE OST IS SO AMAZING. Shucks. I love Japanese dramas OSTs. The best. So haunting right, this song. Totally fits the mood of the drama. The suspense! My goodness! Apparently this drama is showing on local channel, channel 8 or u, I don't know. I just happened to see it when I walked into my parents' room one night. My mum was watching the show and asked me for the ending. Haha. I thought the drama looked familiar. Isn't it still showing in Japan??? Yeah, the last episode just aired in Japan a few days ago. I kinda watched the first two episodes and skipped to the last. Haha. The ending is good, imo. I liked it. It wrapped things up pretty nicely & Nakama Yukie is SO pretty inside. She acted very well too, in her first villain role.

Okie, it's confirmed. I will be moving to Seng Kang (SK). I'm honestly not that keen on moving there 'cos to me, Seng Kang is not that accessible and it feels very deserted (to me). There is only Compasspoint nearby, no heartlander shops. Okay, there are pros and cons. I can't judge SK solely based on this 'cos it is a new town after all.  I have a very fond attachment with Hougang...and if I have a choice, I wouldn't move. But in life, there must be changes. The flats that we want around the area, we cannot get...and SK flats are in general, more affordable, so it makes economic sense to settle here. It's not like I'm gonna stay in SK forever. The good thing about the place I'm moving to...let's list the pros:

• It's located on one of the higher floors (breezeeee~)
• The facing is good (only morning sunlight, similar direction facing as my current place)
• The view is unobstructed- very impt 'cos we're used to unobstructed view
• The interior is contemporary and new. Little renovation needed.
• Located near the station (ok, the walk'll probably takes slightly longer compared to my current place)
• The overall floor area is bigger than my current place (shocking 'cos it feels like my current place is bigger). My room definitely seems bigger than the room there (illusion?).

Cons:

•  Located farther from the city ( I have to wake earlier to get to work and it takes longer for me to reach home)
• Not as convenient as an older estate (hougang~~~). Where is my 24 hr ntuc? The numerous coffeeshops, 24 hour food court, my cheapo neighbourhood stores??? 
• Again, convenience issue. The bus routes are not that fantastic here, compared to Hougang. Hougang is located at the intersections of many other estates. Ang Mo Kio is nearby, Eunos is nearby, Bedok is not far, Ubi is just along the way (thank goodness I got my licence already, dun have to travel frequently to Ubi area anymore!)
• Okay, main issue is convenience.

I would have listed the MOS Burger @ Compasspoint as a pro...but now that I work in the city and I can get to eat MOS every weekday (if I want to), it's not so much a pro any more.  But, turns out I listed more pros! Haha. Oh well, this new home thing will just be a matter of getting used to la.  My first move! Can't wait to go to IKEA. One big ticket item I will be getting is...a mini hi-fi. Yamaha brand, preferably. With Japan in crisis, I'm not sure whether supply will be affected. Anyhow, everything will fall in place!

With that, adios.

To search to the ends of this world

For the purpose of living. Isn't this a week to ponder. How many days has it been since the huge, earth-shaking quake in Japan? I think it was a Fri. The Fri when I took the same lift as my company's COO and he stood to watch the breaking news screening on TV at the lift lobby. Big tsunami, massive destruction, deaths, etc. Horrible, heart-breaking news. First thing I did after I got home that night was surf the web for news. :( I have a special heart for the Japanese. I don't know why and I cannot explain why. I just like Japan, even tho' I haven't stepped into that country before (except when I had to stop-over at Narita).

The thing is I know that more of such disasters will happen in the near future. Everything that is happening on earth now is exactly as how it was prophesied in the bible. The last days are here.

Had drinks with my colleagues at the bar just downstairs my office after work. It was something interesting because as most of you all know, I don't really drink often. I almost always bail out on such events as well. Haha. But today, I wanted to go. I don't know why. To unwind and connect, I suppose. It's interesting how the conservation veered towards religion, the spiritual world. Everyone believes in their own god, there is nothing wrong in that & I can totally get that. I don't see myself as someone who easily trusts what another person says, in other words, a sceptic. Yet, I believed in the Christian God because a relative shared about this God when I was at a younger age (less sceptical, less hardened by the realities of the world). There was a time when I "left" the faith for a while (altho' I cannot say that too 'cos I wasn't exactly grounded then) but because of that knowledge of a god, eventually I returned to the faith and experienced God for myself. That's when the true conversion comes. I can proclaim that I believe in Jesus but unless I experience Him for myself, Jesus is but one of the many gods in this world to me. This is why I know it is impossible to "convert" a person to Christianity. We can't "convert" anyone. It's only when one experiences God that there is true conversion. That is the only thing that will keep you grounded in the faith. The earth can fade away...but God's word, His promises will remain. The journey of faith will always be an on-going one. I am not perfect but at least now, I hope to walk closely to God and to grow in my faith. Essentially, I find the pursuit of the things of this world quite meaningless. Just look at what happened in Japan. How life can be gone in a flash. The vulnerability.

Over the years, I realised how screwed up our lives can be because of the hurts and pain in our lives. Because of the one sentence someone said to you, you can be living under the shadow and bondage of what that person said of you. How do we get past all these??? We keep hurting each other over and over. & God longs to heal us, to give us the strength to endure and the capability and capacity to love one another, in spite of who we are. How amazing.

I believe if we search hard enough for the truth, we will find it. I believe I have found mine.

File STR!

Oh my goodness. I don't know why I am so "lucky". Barely 3 months into my new job role and I have to file an STR. STR = Suspicious Transaction Report. The prospective client (who is no longer a prospect, obviously) is really rubbishy lo...sent those fraudulent source of wealth proof. The fake emails, the fake websites, the fake letters, the fake certificates...were REALLY FAKE. But good thing la, the "supporting documents" were done so amateurish, so we could detect quite easily. I mean c'mon. The bad english, odd spacing between words and lousy photoshop skills & lack of common sense really drove me nuts. Which bank would use a webmail account? And the usage of "!" in the email subject?! Sounds really dubious already right. Haha. The most funny thing is they built a "banking website" that offers online banking. Sadly, the online banking site has no encryption security feature. HAHAHAHA. Friggin' joke. Fraudsters should be thrown to jail! UGH. Make my life so difficult.

Part 2

Okay, I have to add on to my previous post. It's as if if I don't pen down my thoughts and feelings now, the moment would passed and I'd missed it forever.

My eyes are sooo tired and I really shouldn't be staring at the computer screen yet this is something I need to do. I need to vent and get all that is within me out and to move on from there. This is the only way I can move on. Even in the midst of all these, I'm learning that life is always an ongoing challenge. There is no such thing as a rosy life, one without worries. It's another thing to allow those worries to consume you tho', which I have so often done. How do I deal with the stress? How do I deal with all the negative thoughts that flood my mind whenever things don't go as well as planned and I feel like I'm failing everyone, including myself? Self-pity is about the most useless emotion and I doubt it'd make me feel better about my life or more hopeful about my future. Seriously, life is so short. What is it I am living for? Work? Why do I allow myself to be consumed by meaningless things that have no eternal value? Still, I think it's a good thing if I can do my best and really live life to the fullest...but I need more courage and perhaps, more confidence and perseverance. I can do with a lot more virtues but ahh, this is who I am, at least for now.

I don't know what am I typing. It was only 10 mins ago when I felt I had such clarity in my thoughts but now...it's all muddled and I really don't know what's going on in my head. Maybe I need to rest. Haha. Okay. This is getting quite meaningless...so I shall end this post.

this can't be it

I'm seriously tired. NEed to improve on my efficiency but I'm so tired. So tempted to put myself down but I don't see how it'll help matters. The reports really consumed so much of my time. CAN't believe I left 11pm Fri night, 9pm yesterday and 8pm tonight. I'm seriously exhausted and everything is bogging me down. SO tired of this lifestyle. THe good thing is I finally figured out how to derive the figures for the report. AFter much pain. My senior didn't give me proper steps and I can't function with brief procedures. No choice, had to ask for help today. DEsperate already. NOw, at least I know the steps to doing this report. YEs, my only consolation.

THis cannot do. I NEed to rise up to the challenge and fly on wings of eagles. MY current situation is so far from that. REAlity versus dreams. It's so easy for dreams to shatter but the man who perseveres at least have a shot at making things happen. I hope to be that person who can overcome. THing is I get affected by my circumstances easily and I tend to give up when things get tough. IS anything worth the effort? THat's what my mind would immediately think. No wonder the bible aalways mentions the importance of renewing of minds. I am who I think I am. IF I see myself as worthless, that's how I'd live my life. TRagic.

OK, reaching home. Will add to this when I reach home.

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Late for work!

I actually forgot to set my alarm last night...and by the time I woke up this morning, it was already 840am. 840!!!! I start work at 9am!!! Horrors lo. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it on time so I just msged my boss to tell him I'll be late.

Rushed and rushed, ended up only 30 mins late for work! Not THAT late. HAHA. Horrors la. Can't believe this happened. My boss was pretty nice tho'. He joked and shared that this happened to my ex-colleague once. He woke up at 11am and only reached work around 1pm. Shocking. Haha. He reminded me to get my alarm fixed today and not to be late tmr before he knocked off. Ha!

I miss my ex-colleagues. I'm sure my boss misses them too. His currently team is very new (all the old birds have left). The most senior is but only 8 months old (in terms of current work experience). It's quite tragic but it is pretty common to jump from one bank to another because it is the best way to get promoted and get a pay raise. It's not all rosy within my team now. We were trying to pack one of my colleagues' files into a cabinet when my boss walked past and joked "what are you all trying to hide?" and we all kept quiet. LOL. It's a friggin' lot of work lah. We dun even have enough space to keep the files. UGHHHH. I can barely squeeze everything into my cabinet. I hope my boss understands the current situation 'cos the ground work is TOUGH. It is not easy doing those files esp when the work load is crazy! I'm left with my February files, which ain't that bad. At least I've cleared all my the backlog from Sept- Jan! I'm quite proud. :D I inherited the backlog after my colleague left.

Okies. Have to stay positive! :) 

Officially a fan!

Yes, I am officially an Olivia Ong fan! I've heard of her name before. She sang that Little Nonya theme but I didn't think her singing was that wonderful then. It was only when I watched 'It's a Great Great World' that I realised she has such a nice voice. Her speaking voice is sooo good that I thought I just had to hear her singing in English. AHHHH....her voice is damn good! Seriously man. I mean, there are better, more powerful singers out there but her singing is sooo comfortable on the ears. Haha. I bought 2 of her albums yesterday lo. :)

Didn't had a good start to work today. I had to clear this mess that involved one of the clients that I signed off as ok. I did the checks in English and I have to say the checks were done thoroughly. It wasn't like I just skimmed through the checks and was lax in the due diligence but bcos I wasn't aware that I had to do a name check in Chinese too. C'mon, this is a review case, not a new a/c. I didn't have access to their ID docs or whatever so I didn't know their names in Chinese characters. I didn't even know I was supposed to check their names in Chinese when I did the checks then! Anyway, turns out there was negative news. Pretty bad negative news. Alleged murderer, triads, kidnapping. Bad bad stuff with a lot of $ involved. Now it's like pretty high on my boss's radar. He even copied my big boss in the email so...this case has been escalated to higher management! AHHHH. Okay. So I did the checks again in Chinese, confirmed the negative news, and now just waiting for the RM's comments on this. Sian lo. Why has to be my case. But you know, I'm glad that at least the Compliance Officer overseas alerted us to this when she did the checks in Chinese. Better to discover it early then to have it rot into a bad bad case that blows out of legal proportions. That would be DISASTROUS.

Anyhow, I was called into my big boss's room this morning and you can imagine my dread. I was thinking: "This must be about the bad case (mentioned above)" but turns out, it was the bonus payout, which I didn't have btw. My big boss just called me in to hand me an envelope that "confirms that I will not get any bonus with respect of year 2010" Lame right. I mean, I converted really late last year to perm so this is reasonable. Fortunately it's not about the case! Interesting point to note, my big boss is one of the few people in office (of more senior positions) who can pronounce my name accurately. Yeah. After I exited from big boss's office, my boss queried if I got anything. LOL. I just told him I didn't and he was saying how he didn't get anything when he first joined too 'cos he only joined towards the end of that year, in Oct. I took the opportunity to ask him straight abt what he thinks about the case, whether it is sticky. Hahahah. I'm quite daring in this respect right. I can't believe I asked! But I did 'cos...I felt I had to. If I don't know, I have to ask! If not, I will kena.

He said that we just have to bring the file back for review and we can work from there. He often gives ambiguous answers, which I'm not that used to 'cos I like clear instructions on how I should work. He's a very big picture person. I'm learning to work with his management style tho'. The upside of this way of management is that there is some form of flexibility and we are given the liberty to do things our way...as long as the end results are met. Downside is sometimes I feel like I'm floating. How to best handle a situation? I don't know man. Can only pray for wisdom. I was pretty calm today tho'. I mean this is not a good thing and it may cause some damage on me, like my bosses having unfavourable impression on me. That would be BAD. But I'm learning to pray and trust in the Lord. I know it's true that when work close with God, there will be unmerited favour (even from men), and I don't have to always strive to prove myself. I really hope to work with a steadiness, having a peace that transcends all human understanding, regardless of situation.

I still have to follow-up and clear this mess on Monday...but everyone has been quite helpful so far. My boss didn't scold me or anything. He tried to help me clear the mess also, in a way. Hmm. I really don't know what he's thinking 'cos he isn't easy to read at all but it's too tiring always trying to guess how the other person is thinking, then work out a plan to try to turn events to my favour. Just do my thing lo. If there is one big lesson I learned from this...it is the importance of praying everyday for protection and wisdom. Really. There are so many land mines everywhere. One wrong step and you may be destroyed. Erks.

But in all things, rejoice! For my source of joy is not from earth. :)

Have a restful weekend, frds.  

My handwriting analysis...

True?

You are moderately outgoing. Your emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, you can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. You have the ability to put yourself into the other peoples shoes.

You will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes you'll be happy, the next day you might be sad. You have the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because you are in between. Psychology calls you an ambivert. You understand the needs of both types. Although they get along, you not tolerate anyone that is too "far out". You don't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing you to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to you. You put yourself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet you not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. You are an expressive person. You outwardly shows your emotions. You might even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

You are a "middle-of-the-roader", politically as well as logically. You weigh both sides of an issue, sit on the fence, and then will decide when you finally have to. You basically don't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, you don't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

You demand respect and expect others to treat you with honor and dignity. You believe in your ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. You have a lot of pride.

You are secretive. You have secrets which you do not wish to share with others. You intentionally conceal things about yourself. You have a private side that you intend to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in your past.

In reference to your mental abilities, you have a very investigating and creating mind. You investigate projects rapidly because you are curious about many things. You get involved in many projects that seem good in the beginning, but you soon must slow down and look at all the angles. You probably get too many things going at once. When you slow down, you become more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, you must slow down to do it. You then decide what projects you have time to finish. Thus you finish at a slower pace than when you started the project.
You have the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Your mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. You can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. You can then switch into your low gear. When you are in the slower mode, you can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. You are more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

You are a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. You need to visualize the end of a project before you start. You find joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said you plan everything you are going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. You basically feels good about yourself. You have a positive self-esteem which contributes to your success. You feel you have the ability to achieve anything you set your mind to. However, you set your goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". You have enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, you not take great risks, as they relate to your goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence category, your self-perception is better than average.

You are sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect your ego when you feel hurt. You poke people harder than you get poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time. (LOL)

You are very self-sufficient. You are trying not to need anyone. You are capable of making it on your own. You probably want and enjoy the company of people, but you don't "need" them. You can be a loner.

---
 The investigative and creative mind part don't seem quite right. LOL.

えだまめがすきですよ！(Translation: I love edamame!)

Let's hope my Japanese sentence makes sense. Haha. It has been quite a long while since I last had lessons. Time passes so quickly. So so so quickly. Just met up with a couple of secondary school friends for lunch yesterday and we discussed about how true it is that we tend to think more about deaths and funerals as we grow older and the nagging fear of losing a loved-one seems to only grow. Thought about this for a while and I came to the conclusion that we start worrying because as we grow older, our loved-ones grow older and move into another stage of their lives as 'senior citizens'. Gosh, my parents are really no longer young. Have to make good use of our time now. While juggling the million and one things vying for our attention, we cannot forget to be filial to our parents and spend time caring and loving them because time is running short. I really hope that I will be able to earn loads of money in the near future and bring them travelling or something. Yes, I pray that they will always be in good health and live to a ripe old age.

Topic's on edamame (green soybeans) because I just bought a packet of it from NTUC. Haha. I loveeeee it! Super yummy!

So what did I do today? Maybe I should start with yesterday. As mentioned earlier in this article, I met with a few sec sch frds. :) After work, went to sing karaoke with my colleagues. Not bad for our first department sorta outing. At least we're trying! Hahahaha. Uh huh. I realised that it is difficult to really get close with a colleague because there will always be slight "competition" involved at work but in general, I get along quite ok with my them. Can work together can le. Have to be wise also la because some info shouldn't be shared with fellow colleagues. Don't have to be defensive but also don't have to invite attacks. Yeah, just stay low profile. Lol. High profile enough for people to notice your existence but low profile enough to not invite attacks. Hahahahah.

Went house visiting today. There is one quite promising unit @ Seng Kang...but honestly, I still prefer Hougang. If we can get a good Hougang flat, I'll be very happy. Gosh, I love the current location of my home. If it is possible, I will move back here in the future (assuming $$$ is not an issue). Hougang is not so crowded compared to other mature estates. House viewing is super tiring. REally hope we can find a suitable unit soon! :)

Watched the King's Speech already. Loved it. Colin Firth! :)

Special Post

I passed my driving test!!!! YEAH! 14 points. :) :) :)

No more need for driving lessons. Thank God! :D :D :D

at peace

How's everyone's CNY? Lemme give a short summary of my week. I took 2.5 days off and had the whole week off. Mostly, I just slept in...didn't do much else. Met up with a couple of friends on my birthday, which really cheered me up 'cos I was feeling sooo lousy that day, having lost my wallet a couple of days before that. I was REALLY UPSET, even tho' I knew deep inside that it's silly allowing myself to get so upset over the loss of a wallet (and its contents). Sometimes I have difficulties putting things into perspective and my mood gets affected easily by small events. It's a weakness that I have to work on 'cos being like that only serves the purpose of self-perpetuating misery. Why is it I never seem to be able to find joy? As if joy is something elusive and unattainable. There are heart and mental issues within me that needs sorting off. Maybe some knots that need untying. I have to say that I feel happier than I did in the past tho'. I've let go of a lot of things...and...well, as I've said in my previous posts, hope is important and I believe I have found it. It's essentially the only thing that you can hang on to at the end of the day. Even when in the darkest of pits, if one has hope, the story can still go on. We can re-write the supposed "future", to bring new possibilities to a seemingly dead end.  I hope to have that kind of spirit, all the time. I'm not quite there yet...'cos there are times when I allow negative thoughts to consume me and I just fall deeper and deeper into this swirl of bad thoughts. Improving la. That's what matters most, I guess. :)

I'm still sad over my lost wallet but there is still hope that it will be found. But even if I can't recover it, it's ok. I'm at peace now. Thank goodness. I don't want to keep whining and sobbing over a wallet.

Yes, back to my birthday! I was really sad la...and I was crying the night before (yes, I am soooo sad to lose my IC) but I think the presence of P and Liying made me feel better. We had dinner with Nicole and Michelle, long-lost friends from sec. school. Gosh, it was like 8 years since I'd last seen Nicole. She looks pretty much the same. It's always interesting meeting up with old pals 'cos there's this strange feeling of familiarity. Perhaps 'cos we have shared some history together. We ordered some sashimi and uni. Uni apparently isn't very popular among S'poreans but I've been wanting to try uni for the longest of time...

How to explain the taste? I liked it. It's nothing like natto, which I had really wanted to try too. The first time I tried natto, I almost spat it out. The smell it produces is plain bad. Natto is really not my cup of tea, but uni...I really enjoyed. Ppl who don't take sashimi will not like uni, I believe. P certainly didn't look like she enjoyed it but nevertheless, she tried some for my sake. I have the most wonderful friends ever (really).

Later that day, P's frd joined us and I don't know what happened but we all ended up going for shisha @ Arab Street. P assured us that Shisha smoke contains no nicotine (which I later confirmed is an 'urban legend'. Shisha smoking is apparently even more harmful that cigarette smoking. P, this stuff is BAD for you!) and that it is a relaxing form of activity. Hmm...so what do I think of Shisha smoking? Hmm, it's interesting. I could hardly taste the flavoured smoke (Grape Mint) and it's something new to me la. I probably wouldn't mind smoking it more often if it isn't so harmful on the body (as a social activity)...but since now I know it actually kills my lungs, I prolly won't smoke it again. One experience is enough, I think. Gotta admit that for this single one experience, I had fun. :) 

Okay, I wanted to share more about Reunion dinner and stuff but I'm tired of typing already. Haha. Next entry, maybe!

So how's life?

How's everyone??? How has the new year been?

Mine has been pretty...well, I don't know. It has been pretty hectic at work these days and I've never been busier. In fact, I think I gotta wake up earlier tomorrow so I can head to office to clear my work. Therefore, this post won't be too long 'cos lala land is waiting for me. Haha.

2010 has been quite a good year for me. I felt like I grew in that year. I had my prayers answered, in terms of my job and met many lovely people along the way. It has been a wonderful journey, 2010. I believe 2011 will be another good year, if not better. :)

Despite the business, I managed to pull myself out of bed early Sat morning to go help spring-clean this old lady's home. She's blind and has suffered so so so much all her life so I don't know how she does it. She has such a heart of gold and is able to retain a cheerful spirit (v. admirable). This spring-cleaning thing is a church network initiative thing and I was really struggling whether to go 'cos I was dead tired. I am OT-ing every night and I felt like rubbish. In fact, recently I even struggle to meet up with friends over the weekend 'cos that would mean sacrificing on some much-needed catch-up sleep. Anyhow, I decided to go...and it was a good thing. It is always humbling when I see less-fortunate people. We don't see many families like that at the workplace.

I still feel very inadequate sometimes, especially in terms of my compassionate level. Sometimes I appear really cold. In fact, I have grown quite accustomed to being distant. I like the distance...altho I know it isn't good or healthy in the building of strong relationships. Interpersonal skills will definitely be affected and everyone knows the importance of building good relationships with others. It is not that I am unaware...but sometimes I just can't "feel" the way another person feels, to be compassionate towards him/her. I can go tracing back what could have attributed to this behaviour of mine. This indifference. This coldness.

In the past few days, I've been pondering about this and the conclusion is that it isn't important because God can help me, in spite of who I am or whom I have become. My family has definitely affected me in my formative years. There were times when I felt so unhappy as a child and felt that my family was too screwed up. I haven't really shared anything in-depth abt my family to others. It's difficult to share, I suppose. Maybe even painful to share. It's easier to sweep everything under the carpet (the truth is that everything will come bursting out one day...which is dangerous) and act as if everything is ok (a friend once shared with me that she doesn't share abt her problems because "nobody wants to listen to sob stories). I felt really sad when I heard her say that....because to an extent, it is true. Nobody wants to hear sob stories all day long because it can drain people of their energy. Still, I think a certain level of honesty is needed in order for a relationship to grow more intimate. I hope to be able to bear her burden one day (when she decides to share more). Not by my own strength of 'cos. I used to find it very difficult having to deal with other people's problems, especially when I feel I have so many insurmountable problems of my own. But thank God, I feel like I can handle everything better now. I'm not that bad an emotional wreck that I once was and there is a kind of "stable-ness" that I know isn't truly innate. Now, I have to courage to hope. I know there is reason to hope. :)

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.- 2 Corinthian 12:9

What a powerful verse. His grace is sufficient for each and every day till the end of life! Okie, time to go to bed. Early day tomorrow.

Ja ne! :D

Jumbo

Just returned from Seafood dinner. Had to eat with my colleagues + bosses from Paris. The most bombastic thing is I was only informed of this dinner early this morning via email. Okay, if the boss tells you that you are invited for dinner and reservation has already been made in the restaurant for the whole team + bosses....then you better go. Haha. I actually had something on today...CELLGROUP (I feel bad I had to cancel last min but no choice)! Cos...I couldn't say no to my boss. No one in the team dared to say no la. Hahaha. But thank goodness, overall, it was a pleasant experience. :D

Do I like entertaining bosses? No. But I think it's good to go. It's rude to NOT go. I have to give face to my bosses! & I had fun. Free (good) food, mingling with (new) team mates. I got to know my colleagues better through such bonding sessions.

Anyhow, I think the new team I've joined is definitely more "hot" in the market and there is a bright future ahead. Again, I have to share that I am so so so grateful I got the opportunity to join this team. I don't want to take any of it for granted because really, I've been so so so blessed. Tommorow will be lunch @ Sichuan Duofu. Awesomeness!!! I loveeee their doufu dessert. Gosh, really hope my big boss orders that tomorrow. Hehehehe. :)

TAIGA!

Okie, I watched the live stream of this year's Taiga, which stars Ueno Juri. 2nd episode tonight and she is acting as a 6 year old. How ridiculous. Her acting is good but...the whole 6 year old thing is still pretty unconvincing because of her physical appearance. C'mon, why does a 6 year old Princess look taller than her servants?!? Oh right, that's cos Ueno is 167cm tall. Hahaha. She's considered quite tall for a Japanese actress.

I like the look in her eyes when she spoke about meeting her uncle but 6 year old definitely don't show such expressions. A young girl hasn't gone thru the realities of life and wouldn't have such a "definite" look in her eyes. This look can only come from someone who has gone thru some hardship in life and understand that life is not perfect. Personally I can look past the ridiculousness of the age because I like watching Ueno act. She's damn good expressing very complex emotions with her eyes. However, can the Japanese viewers accept a 6 year old Gou acted by a 24 year old actress? I guess only the ratings will tell. Lol.

I have so many Politically-Exposed Persons (PEP) accounts recently. Troublesome. I don't enjoy doing PEP accounts because there is double the work involved. The checks and everything have to be sent to Head Office (HO) for their approval, after local management approval. My colleague is sinking under the weight of her work so I took one of her new PEP accounts. Had to help her 'cos she's very poor thing. Ahhh. Haha. & on Fri, the scanner decided to die. Sucks. Because I couldn't scan the documents over to HO, I am now stuck with this PEP account. Nooooo. The scanner has to be revived! I need to do my work! AHHHH. Technical problems really suck and honestly, I think we should invest in a better 4-in-1 printer. The current one is not a brand I would use, at all. Surprised the bank would even buy it. Maybe on budget lo.

Aha. But work has been kinda interesting. I enjoy reading the scandals in other people's lives. There seem to be so many of them, especially among the wealthy. It's true that when you have wealth, there is a higher tendency that your personal life will be more...messy. 

Before ending off. this post...

Pls let my leave be approved!!! I NEED MY LEAVE APPROVAL!!!!

Happiness

Are there any readers here? Hahaha. Doesn't matter. I'm gonna blog anyway. Gotta de-stressed. :) Work's kinda crazy these days and my colleagues are kinda stressed out. There is a possibility that they will leave. That's not an option for me (not yet, for sure) cos I just converted to perm and I haven't learned everything yet. It's weak to bail out once there's hardship 'cos there is a reason for everything and I believe that the reason I am put through certain situations is for me to learn and grow.

I am learning to put things in perspective. Work is but work. The book "Don't Sweat The Small Things" really helped me start the year right. :)

Been meeting a few old friends...from secondary school, primary school, blah blah. It's quite amazing. Anyhow, I ate with a few colleagues and realised how "un-cool" I've become. I don't listen to their indie music. I have no idea what reggae music sounds like. I hardly watch American TV these days. I don't watch cable TV anymore. Un-subscribed that and honestly, it doesn't affect me much. My life is...SO BORING! & the most amazing thing is...I like it this way. Gee. That being said, I have frds who are getting married at this age. MAN. This makes me a little worried. I hope to get married one day. It's not a definite must because I'd rather stay single all my life than to get into a bad marriage. You know, like to get married for the sake of getting married? I won't do that. But if I do meet some good guy, then yes, I want to marry. BUT WHOM? THERE IS NO ONE. MY SOCIAL CIRCLE IS TOO PATHETICALLY SMALL AND I AM NOT EXACTLY DOING ANYTHING ABT IT. SObs. :(

Yeah, I am reminded of a frd's frd who speaks with a fake American accent. OUT. He is too "ang-moh" for me already. Ultimate turn-off. I am more into Asian stuff these days. Asian entertainment and news. My other half has to at least be mildly interested in these areas. Okay, but I am not gonna judge. If the fake accent makes him happy then good for him. But I can't hang out with people at the other end of the spectrum also. Those who are too "chinese" because my mandarin is not quite there and I still need some balance.

I don't think I am the kind who falls in love easily tho'. So...the future is a huge question mark. Just expand social circle first lo. :) 

Alright. WIll update again.